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#i'm so happy i found these i'm serious it's insane
hurricanek8art · 10 months
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I was cleaning up some old boxes and stuff during a major depressive episode yesterday (like really bad, I don't want to talk about it with anyone but my therapist kind of episode, if ya wanna send prayer/good vibes/whatever you're comfortable with I'm not protesting y'know?) and. and guys.
I FOUND ALL BUT ONE OF MY FIRST SIX SKETCHBOOKS. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Seriously. All but Sketchbook #2. Nearly every drawing I made from around Christmas 2011 to 2014. Baby's first fan art is in there. Baby's first OCs are in there. I hadn't been able to find these in ages, I thought they got lost in one of the moves! And now I keep looking at them and sobbing because the 12-year-old me that drew this stuff would combust if she saw my art now. Like the Inquisitor pieces from a few days ago? Holy @%!$ I never dreamed I could do something like that. Just—here, look!
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Left is basically my first SW OC from 12/23/11, and right is a WIP of my SWTOR Jedi Knight I've been fiddling with the past week or so. They're not the same character but I realized a few months ago that Aja (my Knight) basically evolved from said OC subconsciously. I woulda picked something finished for Aja but the face/anatomy on this one are already done, it's just the outfit that's the WIP, and I love it so much already, that's her.
Look at that, though. I have fine motor skill control issues because of my autism/dyspraxia. Art has been hard for me. And I had a tendency to beat myself up over not progressing as fast as other artist my age seemed to. But look at where I started from versus where I am now, almost 12 years later. I've grown so much. I'm still growing. I think something in me healed, just a little. 😭😭😭
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bruh-myguy-what · 4 months
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Can I request Crosshair with "sorry, that was my first kiss." "i could tell." "...." "i'm kidding!" I don't imagine any of the Batch have ever kissed someone before. 🤭
Jealous Much?
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Pairing: Crosshair x Fem!Reader Warnings: Massive fluff, Crosshair being a cutie pie and not understanding his own emotions because he's silly, light cursing, nothing other than that really Word Count: 2.2K Summary: After running into a "Reg" in the halls of Kamino, Crosshair hears something he doesn't like and it bothers him. A/N: I really liked this prompt for Cross and I've actually not written anything for him yet, so this was fun! Thanks for request precious anon! I hope it was what you were looking for when you sent in the request!
Requests are currently closed until I finish the ones I have in my inbox!
Don't forget you can also support me on ko-fi! If you like my writing, you can always just give me a little tip to help me continue my work!
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"Mesh'la~" A clone trooper called after you with a smile, "Why don't you stop hanging out with those defective boys and come hang out with real men, huh? I know you miss me~" He teased, mirthfully, as he blew you a kiss.
While you found the trooper's antics amusing, evidently none of the other Batchers had. Crosshair hissed a snide "filthy reg" under his breath as he took your arm and positioned himself between you and the other man. Hunter rolled his eyes with an exhausted sigh, Echo shrugging when Tech looked between you and the other clone. "What precisely does he mean when he says 'I know you miss me'?"
You only chuckled and shook your head in reply but flinched a little when you met Crosshair's sharp eyes. "W-What?" Your voice was hushed as it passed through your lips, almost as if you were intimidated by him.
The sniper simply lifted a brow at you, the tattoo over his eye elongating. "You didn't answer Tech." He answered with his coiled voice, toothpick moving over his thin lips. Was he serious? Why did it even bother him? You knew very well he had more contempt for the regs than even the others did, but for him to care so much about why the other trooper mentioned you neglecting him was odd- even for Crosshair.
You shrugged unhurriedly, eyes wide, as if you'd been caught in a speeder's headlights. Glancing toward the others to see if they were as confused as you were, but instead noticed they were also staring at you- waiting for a response. Tech adjusted his goggles on his face while Hunter rested his weight onto one of his hips, arms crossing over his broad chest. Echo blinked at you, and Wrecker tilted his head curiously. "What, seriously?" Was all you could summon as you looked at them all in amazement. "Is it really that big of a deal to you guys?"
"Well," Tech began simply, glancing at Hunter, "yes."
"Seriously?!" You shot back, your voice filled with offense then huffing out loudly at their insanely meddlesome behavior.
"Seriously." Crosshair's whispery tone upset you and the glare you sent him scarcely made him shift. "So, are you going to keep us waiting...or?"
"For kriff sake..." You muttered as a hand ran across your face, bitterness lacing your breath. "Fine! I made out with him once while we were at 79s on shore leave, are you happy now?" Your answer stunned them and they once again shared of look amongst themselves. "Stars. Karking fools, not everything is your business." Breathing out an annoyed sigh, you forced past them and fled into your bunk room.
"It would seem we have upset her," Tech noted after a beat of silence, to which both Hunter and Echo gave him a disapproving glance. "What? I am not incorrect. I am merely stating a factual examination as I have observed the situation."
"Stow it, Tech." Echo growled with a fatigued voice, pushing past him as they all began striding back to their own shared bunk room. Crosshair, however, lingered; eyes still eyeing where you had disappeared further down the hall. Why was it bugging him so badly to know that you had kissed that reg? It felt like gnawing in his chest like a wild nexu was bitting him.
He loathed it.
Why wouldn't it go away?
"Cross?" Hunter's deep voice broke the taller clone out of his thoughts and he looked over at his brother who was standing in the doorway. "You coming?" He questioned, a raise to his brow as he scrutinized him.
Nodding, Crosshair joined the others in the room with a faint 'yeah' and flicked his toothpick aside.
The night went on without much more discourse about your "adventure" with the reg but Crosshair couldn't get the idea out of his head and he was increasingly becoming cranky. Far more cranky than usual. The trooper was practically seething at one point while taking apart his rifle for the fourth time, griping to himself and shoving the pieces together sharply. "Any harder and I think you'll bust it, Cross." Echo comments, stepping over to his bunk to lie down.
"Shut up." The sniper hissed grouchily, driving a piece together especially hard and pinching his finger. He cursed under his breath spitting out his toothpick and placing his finger in his mouth to numb the ache.
Hunter chuckled at the exchange, "Listen, if you're so bothered by her kissing that reg, why don't you go make up for lost time and stop making the air so sticky with your angst." The man lounged in his own bunk, twirling his vibroblade around nimbly.
Crosshair prickled at the remark and turned to look at Hunter with a dangerous glare. "What do you mean by that?" His voice was low and lethal as he spoke, daring his brother to repeat himself.
"I believe you heard him well enough, did you not?" Tech piped up from his workbench, accommodating his goggles to look over at Crosshair. "However, if you were not clear on his meaning, he was proposing that you go and kiss her to make your intentions apparent."
Crosshair's nasty glower slowly landed on his intelligent brother and narrowed even further, his brow now raising in challenge. "What in the galaxy are you idiots going on about?"
"Well, you want to kiss her, don't ya?" Wrecker chimed in with a careful voice, making sure he was following the conversation correctly. Echo suppressed a laugh at Crosshair's dumbfounded expression at his larger brother.
"Of course, he does, Wrecker," Tech replied in Crosshair's stead with a matter-of-fact tone, restarting his work on whatever gadget sat in front of him.
Crosshair growled, stood up from the crate he was sulking on and lurked out of the bunk room into the hallway. Gritting the toothpick between his teeth, he groused to himself again, brown eyes traveling in the direction of your door. Hunter's comments persisted in his mind about going to you and...
But Crosshair barely considered the thought and waved his hand in the air as if he could swat away the notion. There wasn't any way in all the galaxy he was going to show up at your door like some loser with a crush.
The tall sniper rolls his eyes and then blinks in shock as he finds himself in front of a door. Your door. "What the hell?" He murmured to himself in bewilderment, eyes narrowed as if the door could give him an explanation.
He stood there for a surprisingly long time, debating with himself mentally; attempting to figure out what to do. Knocking on the door would require him to follow through with something he could easily make a fool of himself with, or...he could turn away and continue to seeth in jealousy over you being with other men.
Jealousy?
Wait...
That had just struck Crosshair.
It was the first time the idea of him being jealous truly passed his thoughts, though it made sense...the sentiment lingering in his chest corresponding to the word flawlessly.
He was jealous.
Aggravatingly so.
He hated to admit it. The thought made him feel...vulnerable; as if you have power over him in some way. But if he considered it in more depth, you did. Secretly he had been admiring you for months, amazed at how you took his brazen nature in stride and followed thoroughly alongside his banter. It startled him, pleasantly, when you first quipped back at him so effortlessly- his brothers typically being the only ones able to handle their comebacks well enough to leave him in silence. However, within weeks with the group you had smoothly grinned at him and shot back as if his offensive mood hadn't phased you in the least. He'd found himself gravitating toward you after that, interested in why you were able to tolerate him so well, wondering if he could push you further or cross a line that would make you furious; to which he uncovered nothing. The only thing he'd encountered was your gentle nature, sparked by sass and a smirk that made his heart race.
A whooshing sound startled him back to the present and he was met with your face. "What the hell are you doing out here, Crosshair?" You asked with a bothered expression.
Apparently the decision had been made for him. He was fully aware that if he turned around now he'd never live it down and would seem like a coward. He'd also have to deal with hearing about you kissing other regs which irked him even more than the idea of his brothers teasing him for being a wuss. So he rested his weight on one of his hips and smirked at you, flicking his toothpick past you. "You seemed annoyed back there, sunshine." He chose to go the route of antagonizing you, his more preferred form of communication; especially when breaching a matter he felt out of his depths to manage.
You rolled your eyes, infuriated. "That's because you and your idiot brothers were being assholes. It's none of your business what I do in my free time."
"What if I want it to be?" Crosshair heard himself speak before he could stop it but he chose to remain steadfast in the face of your changing expression.
Your raised brow and slow hand gestures implored him to continue as if what he said was unfinished. "And so what if you did want that? I'm not your-" Then it hit you and a blush rushed over your cheeks.
The clone stood there and he could feel his hands trembling, uncharacteristically. He wasn't predisposed to anxiety, none of his brothers were, but now he felt as if his heart were going to leap out his chest and through his armor directly into your hands. Silence continued to linger between the two of you with only the narrowing of Crosshair's eyes as a reaction.
"You..."
"Don't flatter yourself too much." Crosshair interrupts with a roll of his eyes, trying to fight off the embarrassment that started to creep up his own cheeks.
A smile began to form on your face, much to his dismay. "Crosshair...are you saying you're...jealous of that reg?" You were testing your luck and you knew it, he was never this clumsy in conversation with you but you couldn't help yourself when you caught the reddening of his cheeks.
"Stow it or I'll walk away right now." He hissed hatefully and crossed his arms over his chest, making no effort to move. While Crosshair despised the feeling of floundering he felt in the moment, he also found it...exciting. He was caught desperate and nervous in the sight of someone he cared for and your smile was stunning.
You chuckled at his expression, his face turning away from you to look down the hall where he'd come from. "You are jealous!" The triumph on your face was simultaneously aggravating and charming to the sniper, his trained eye taking in every detail even from his side glance. "I can't believe you're jealous because I kissed some reg, what are you a school girl? Little Crosshair feeling jealous because I kissed someone el-"
Your taunting was cut off quickly by the taller man as he covered your mouth with his; your eyes blowing wide. It was inelegant, awkward, and hurried but filled with an unexpected sweetness. You could feel his hands shaking as they held your face gently, his eyes squeezed shut. Scarcely given the chance to kiss him back before he pulled away, you grumbled in disappointment.
Crosshair stepped back out of your personal space with a dark blush across his cheeks, avoiding your eyes as he cleared his throat. He'd never felt so overwhelmed by emotion in all of his life and for him to act upon them in such a physical way left him tense.
"Crosshair..." You whispered his name with a grin, blinking a few times to make sure you were still in reality, not one of your many dreams. He peeked up at you momentarily and you could tell he would rather be shot by a blaster bolt than acknowledge that he'd just kissed you but you disregarded the look and stepped back up to him. "I'm gonna have to teach you how to kiss properly if you're going to want to keep doing that, ya know?" You teased softly.
Crosshair still denied any eye contact with you, missing the sweet expression on your face. "Th-That was my first kiss, so I don't know what you expected." His voice came out hastily by the end and had a bite to it, but you only chuckled at his shy behavior and kissed his cheek.
"I could tell." You joked lightly, a wise grin on your face.
Crosshair whipped his head to look at you, his glare fierce at your comment; which is what you had anticipated. You smiled up at him warmly and his heart leapt at the sight. Turning away from your captivating expression quickly, you hug him, resting your head against his chest plate.
"Wait! I'm sorry! I was just kidding!" You laughed at his pouting, knowing that you'd never let him live down the shade of red his face had gotten; even if just between the two of you.
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miruac · 1 month
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dating tenya iida headcanons - part two
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1 | 3
warnings: not proofread, extremely self indulgent, reader has a little bit of anxiety and theyre a lil insecure
a/n: listened to chappell roan while writing this. casual came on again and i imagined iida to it and i got sad so here u guys go
last time we were here it was a couple weeks when you two came back from your date
he got you that gift basket of things you eyed while window shopping, and your heart soard
this man loves to see you happy
as of now, it had been two months since your date, and you guys haven't gone out yet due to midterm exams coming up
but you've been setting for group study sessions with your classmates, in the dorm lounge
everyone's going insane and they're all pretty serious about studying
especially iida, he doesn't glance up at you much or now since his nose is always deep into his notes
he didn't realize but you felt a little distant, and a little scared that his feelings for you went away
you got up from your spot beside him and went back up to your room, to try and get some space
he didn't realize you were gone until his hand swung down and tried to hold yours
after asking around he found out you went up to your room to 'rest up'
he knocked on the door anad called for you, and you opened the door just a tiny crack
he was worried, and asked if he did something wrong
after you told him, he nodded and looked so upset with himself
"thank you for telling me, i'm sorry i made you feel like that. but rest assured, i still harbour deep affection for you. we may be busy now, but i will try my best to keep up with you."
IM SOBBING I LOVE HIM SO MUCH
the next day when you're heading down to your study sesh, he's waiting for you with a smile and blush on his face
his hand hovers over yours. and he's slightly shaking
you grip onto his, and you two are being all gross and cute while engaging in minimal pda(he approves this one time)
guys i dunno why i'm thinking of so many sad headcanons help
when youre sad or upset, he'll hold your hand or hold you in his arms
if youre crying or don't want to talk about it, he'll wait until you're ready
he won't push you, he just wants to mkae sure you know that he's there for you to fall back on
he does the thing where he's looking into your eyes as he caresses your cheek while wiping away your tears with his thumb(IM PHYSICALLY SICK. IM GOING TO BARF I NEED TO BE IN HIS ARMS)
he's so patient with you :(((
ok im done i dont wanna cry anymore
he always tries to cheer you up by telling you a funny story, or by reassurement. it depends on what you need
OK IM DONE IM DONE BACK TO HAPPINESS
now that exams are done, summer break is here!!!
majority of class 1-a went home for break, including you and iida
you two frequently messaged the other, until you came back to the dorms with a couple weeks left of the break
you didnt know but while he was home he bought a couple of souvenirs for you, HE GOT YOU A LITTLE BLUE BEAR WITH GLASSES THAT LOOKED LIKE HIM
as a celebratory 'summer's almost over' event, the class had a little dinner party
varied from bakugous murderous attempt of trying to get everyone to eat sichuan chili hotpot to satos sweet desserts
after the dinner, the class went outside to take a little breather(and to light some sparklers and play around with some fireworks WHICH THEY WERE SUPERVISED BY AIZAWA AND ALL MIGHT)
when everyone went in, you stayed outside for a little longer to look up at the pretty moon and stars
iida saw you from the window, and went outside to try
he was worried you'd get cold
like he had never seen your eyes sparkle like that, the way how all your features reflected upon the moonlight
this boy's heart did FLIPS LIKE CONTINUOUS 360S EVERYWHEREE
his face was so red stop hes so cute
he could not stop staring until you asked him what was up
"can i... kiss you.....?"
"what's with the informal speech all of a sudden?"
"apologies, may i kiss you?"
"yes, yes you may."
IM GONNA CRYYY HES SO CUTE
obvi he hasnt had his first kiss so when you guys did kiss he froze up and his hands literally hovered over you because he didn't know where to put them and if you were okay with it
after like ten seconds you both pulled away and LORD his face was REDDD
he had an awkward smile on his face AGHGHGHGHGHGHG I LOVE AWKWARD NERDSS
after composing himself he ushered you back inside in fear that you'll catch a cold
but when he got back to his dorm that night, he looked at himself in the mirror and smiled so triumphantly
he still felt your lips on his, and maybe he realized he wanted to feel them more often
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2nd a/n: hi guys!!!! part one got a lot of love which made me really happy, its so hard being an iida lover but you guys make it worth it <33 i also got a couple of dishes stuck together when i was washing them earlier and my parents got mad at me so this i decided to work on this to let out my anger AND HEY IT WORKED ok idk what im saying | fun fact i was listening to casual by chappell roan when i was writing the sad n sorta angsty part of this headcanon, because iida would NEVER partake in casual activity(i did a rant about this earlier im done ok goodbye) anyways THAT CONCLUDES MY RANT send me a plunger emoji if you guys got this far(in honor of the fallen dishes)
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ryanguzmansource · 4 months
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Full Audio Transcript (5.21.24)
Hey guys, welcome to I've Never Said This Before with me, Tommy Didario.
If you are not watching 9-1-1 on ABC, you are seriously missing out. The show is so phenomenal that it has been renewed for an eighth season and, my guest today—well, he is phenomenal as well. In fact, he is on my show because of you. I saw all of the tweets, the DMs, the emails—all of it so, like a genie in a bottle, your wish has been granted.
The talented actor Ryan Guzman stars in the smash hit firefighter drama series 9-1-1 and audiences fell in love with his character, Eddie, the moment he debuted in Episode 1 of Season 2. Man, he has become a staple on the show and fans have been rooting for Eddie throughout the years, and Ryan plays each moment of Eddie's journey with such care and vulnerability and truth.
We have a lot to cover today and I have a feeling you're going to really enjoy this fun but also personal and deep conversation. We do dive into some very serious mental health conversations, so after the interview, I will be providing resources for anyone struggling with their own mental health. This is one of the most powerful interviews I have ever done, and I really thank Ryan for opening up in the ways that he did today because I know that he is going to help so many people out there feel less alone.
So, let's see if we can get Ryan to say something he has never said before.
[INTRO MUSIC]
Ryan, my friend, how are you doing today?
I'm good, brother. How are you?
I'm good. I know you have been working your butt off. You were just saying you were filming all night. Are you exhausted or are you on adrenaline right now?
A little mixture of both. I got a little coffee pumped through my system. But yeah, I think I worked six out of seven days this last week. We've been doing around 14, 15 hour days. And I just got off last night around 1.30 in the morning. So got home around 2.30. But we're here. We're here.
Well, you were putting in the work. Congratulations to you on all of the success with this show. It's of course now on ABC. People are loving it. The numbers are going insane. And you've always been a fan favorite from day one. When you had that first scene of you putting that shirt on in slow motion and your body was glistening and Whatta Man was playing, people just fell in love with your character. But that's not just why they love your character. I mean, over the seasons, people have found you so relatable and and really, really are truly invested in the role that you play. Why do you think that is?
I like to say that, I mean, I try to play as grounded as I can, but I think the story itself is just the way Tim Minear writes the character. And I think he's always had a special connection with this kind of character. So, just indebted to how he writes and the connectivity between Eddie and his son. I mean, it's just like it pulls at the heartstrings, you know, and that's always been a fan favorite as well. So, you know, I'm living in gratitude for everything that's been written for that character and I try to do as much justice as I can.
Well, you're nearing the end of Season 7 and past seasons for you have been a bit heavier, a bit more intense. You've really gone through quite a lot of things that we'll touch on a bit later, which I know is also part of the reason why so many people relate to you. Are you enjoying this journey this season?
Yeah, you know what? I haven't really been able to kind of flex my humorous side and just kind of lightheartedness, kind of a vibe about Eddie, and I love that aspect of him. So while everybody else is kind of going through chaos, while Cap is going through chaos, Eddie is kind of, you know, trying to keep everybody together while, you know, Chimney and Hen be going at it during the tsunami and The Poseidon Adventure, Eddie is just, you know, being there for everybody as much as he can. So not to say that he's always going to be happy because Tim always has this thing about saying, you know, if I just let you guys be happy, then there'd be no story. You got to have some kind of drama. Nobody wants to show up just for people smiling all the time. But yeah, we've got some things in store for the rest of the season. And from what we've already shot, I've been super pleased about, you know, this new way of life for Eddie.
Like I said, the things you've gone through are intense throughout the years. Do you have any fear stepping into this role or any anxiety before you had to film some of those more intense scenes? Because it's a lot.
Yeah, you know what? Prior to 9-1-1, I might have had some fears about the depth of a lot of the things that we shot. I honestly didn't really call myself an actor until like maybe three and a half years ago.
No.
Yeah. I thought I was just fooling everybody, trying to get jobs and land the movies that I was getting. And then I think somewhere around the third season, a co-star of mine kind of, like, metaphorically slapped me in the face and said, you know, let's really get into this, man. You got some really good opportunity here. So that's when I started calling myself an actor. But to be honest, the depth of Eddie in the past three, four seasons has been amazing as just a class. It's been class for me. It's been an opportunity to flex these emotions that I don't get to flex in my day-to-day life and to access certain things and see how far can I push Eddie, how, you know, in the scene where Eddie is just losing his stuff and he's breaking everything in his house. Obviously, I've never done it in my house, but how do I get there? How can I allow the audience to feel what I'm feeling? And that task itself becomes a challenge. And I really [like] that type of challenge. So again, living in gratitude for all the little things that Eddie presents that, you know, I haven't really been presenting my own life.
So with that being said, is there a storyline that's particularly special to you for any given reason?
I kind of lean automatically towards the military/PTSD just because I have a cousin who served six tours and, you know, he shared with me—and I actually, oddly enough, during the episode of Eddie Begins, I brought him on as a military tech and he helped out everybody in the production. His name is Randy Hudson. I, you know, I love that guy to death—but, yeah, he's shared with me a lot of his issues that he's gone through and a lot of the obstacles he's gone through in his day to day life and what it's like to be a military vet coming back and kind of assimilating back into civilian lifestyle. So that storyline always kind of held a special place in my heart just because it was very close connected with me and my own family. And I always hope that, you know, I did it justice enough for everybody that has that story ingrained in them.
I think you definitely did. I saw a lot of comments when I announced you as my guest saying that that was a very meaningful part of your journey on this show. I'm so curious, you know, quite often in television it moves so fast, there's always rewrites or so much going on. Was there ever a story that you wanted to come to fruition that never did?
I hated the fact that we killed off Shannon so quick. I know she wasn't a very likable character for so many different reasons, but I always loved working with Devin. So I would love to explore a little bit more with that. But yeah, there's always beauty and chaos a little bit. So I would have loved the relationship, mother, father, parenting style aspect of Eddie's life to be a more explored, but unfortunately that can't happen anymore.
There's always so many things going on. I'm sure it's hard to fit them into each episode, and I'm sure things do have to get cut because major things keep happening episode after episode, one of them being recently, of course, Buck realized he's Bi and that's a storyline everyone's going crazy over. Did you see that coming? Were you like, I think one day this is going to happen for him?
Well, I mean, it's always kind of been in the ether. Everybody, you know, all the fans, you know, have their speculations about Eddie and Buck and, you know, for the longest time, I think Oliver and I again had lightheartedness to it. We always kind of like saw it as like, oh, at least they're so interested in our characters. Thank God they're interested in our characters. They're not ignoring us, and I don't know if either of us had a pinpoint, you know, idea on which character or if any character would actually lead in that way.
But again, all credit to Tim Minear. He's the one that knows the way. So he chose Buck's character to explore that route. And now seeing it happen in front of our eyes, it makes so much sense. And it just the way him, Buck and Tommy are getting together and the way they're exploring their own individuality and personality. It's beautiful to watch. I was very excited to see, you know, that episode specifically, just for the fact that it was such a moment between, you know, a friend and another friend who had held this huge secret. And how do you come out to your friend?
I had a friend, you know—because I know I've had this actually in my own personal life. I've said this in prior interviews—I had a friend who was deadly scared of coming out to me. And I realized that that moment itself wasn't so much the journey for me, you know, it was this hard journey for himself. And all I had to do was catch. I just had to be there for him, and I was like, that moment itself is so beautiful. I can't wait to do that scene. I can't wait to, you know, show the world like this is how you be there for your brother.
Wow, how cool that you could pull from your real life experience and make that scene even more special, which is why I think it came off so incredibly powerful. It really was so cool to see. And the reception has been absolutely incredible in terms of people feeling like, you know, they're seen through that character and it's on prime-time TV. And you don't see a ton of that, which is still kind of crazy. But, you know, and of course, there were some negative comments, which blows my mind. I mean, I'm sure that blew your mind, too, to see that because who cares, right?
Honestly, I've got this now filter for negative comments. They just kind of seep right through and I don't even hold on to anything. So all I've seen is really, really good comments.
And one of the best parts is actually I've gone to work and Oliver himself has been like telling me these stories of people saying, man, I did not have the strength to come out until way later on in my life. So I'm like, oh man, could you imagine 20, 30 years of holding on to this repressed thing and then it just eating away at you and not being able to say anything, even to the closest people and then seeing something on television to inspire you. That kind of thing is just like, whoa, okay, we're doing something much greater, much bigger than us.
He's not the only one inspiring its characters like you because you're showing, you know, what an ally means, and I think that's really cool to see this like macho, cool guy that's just like, cool, like who cares? And that's also equally as powerful and as important. Before we put a pin on this, you know, part of the conversation, you mentioned you never know what the writers are going to do, and I think there were talks at one point of possibly Eddie being the one to come out in some sort of way. Do you laugh and have fun with all of the fandom's obsession with you as Eddie and Buck getting together? Like, is that something you guys always are seeing and hearing? And I know everyone brings it up to you and it's something that's always looming. Like, how do you react to that? Does it ever get tiring for you?
Again, if the fans are interested, we're doing our job. So I love the love. And I mean, unfortunately, I'm not the one that writes it. So it's all up to Tim. But me and Oliver have a really good time with the fact that, you know, people are so invested into these storylines. And in fact, they're so invested, they're creating their own storylines. They're sending us clips and edits and videos. And, you know, every now and then, Oliver will show me something, I'll show Oliver something. Like, did we actually do this in a scene? Because they cut it so well together.
Yeah.
So, yeah, I think at the end of the day, you know, we just love the love. We're here to entertain and tell the truth. If it's true to the character, then yeah.”
[COMMERCIAL BREAK]
You can't predict the future. Nobody can on this show. But if the opportunity one day happened to come your way where they were like, this storyline might be explored between Buck and Eddie, would you be open to that storyline in the future? I see you smiling. I see Oliver had the same reaction, a big ass grin on his face when I asked this.
Yeah, you know, like I said, it's got to live in the truth and I think right now we live in a moment—or me, I live moment to moment—so I love the fact that the biggest plot point between these two characters is one happens to be Bi, one happens to be Hetero, and they have this vulnerability towards each other. And that is the truth to me is it's the fact that you have such a safe space and it doesn't matter your sexuality, that you have a safe space to talk to this individual and he can fully accept you. If we can stay with that, then whatever happens, happens.
But I don't necessarily want to push the fact that because you're vulnerable, you have to be one way or the other in your sexuality. Then I would hate to have a lot of other men who are struggling mentally and not sure about, oh, do I even open up? Because will that make me something that I'm not? I would hate to push that narrative. So if we live in the truth, whatever happens, happens. And again, I'm here for it all.
Whatever happens, happens. That's a nice way to put it. And I agree with you. I think there's power in both. I think there's power in showing a strong friendship that you don't always get to see. And then there's power if something eventually does happen. So whatever happens, happens. I like that, man. What can we expect for the rest of the season with your characters? Anything you can tease? The finale is coming up. We have a couple more weeks. What can we expect?
What can we expect? Well, we can expect that Eddie's smiles might turn to frowns.
Oh no.
Or at least confusion, maybe. We'll start to see, you know, has he gotten past certain traumas? Or is he just kind of pushed them to the side and acting like they're not there?
You know, I have to say a lot of people are still holding on to hope that we're going to get that karaoke scene.
I mean, yeah, we had such a good time playing that karaoke scene, and it was kind of a let down a little bit to know that it wasn't going to be in there. But now, again, looking at the episode itself, as fun as it would be, the main story was Chimney. And the way Kenneth Choi played Chimney, and that episode specifically—I mean, I think he got, you know, performance of the week for that—it would have been a disservice to add, you know, a three-minute scene of us laughing and having a great time and being drunks and karaoke and take away from that performance. So I'm glad that Tim made that decision, and I don't know if he has any plans on showing that later on or whatnot or having some extended clip version, but I can tell you this much, everybody from the cast to the crew to the background had a wild and crazy time doing that scene.
And I think what I just heard you say is you might accidentally drop it on your Instagram very soon.
I might get fired if I do that.
All right. Well, we'll see. I'll talk to ABC PR. No problem. What do you want to see for season eight? Like, are you thinking about the future? Is there like, OK, if I can have my way, I absolutely want to explore blank.
To be honest, there's so much going at us so rapid, so fast paced at this moment. The scripts are getting handed in like quick as can be. So we have a moment's notice to kind of know what we're doing and where we're going with our character. From what I know, from what I've shot thus far, I think next season will literally be a refresh button to Eddie. And starting over in so many different ways, so many new ways in which Eddie has never explored and we've never seen Eddie explore. He'll be on his own in a lot of areas.
Speaking of that, I have to bring up season five, the mental health breakdown, man. That was intense. And a lot of people felt very connected to that. How was it stepping into that scene for you and that storyline? Because it's pretty powerful.
Thank you. Man, that was cathartic, to be honest. It was I've gone through my own mental health issues as far as like, you know, my own depression and anxiety, and, you know, I was raised in an age where men aren't vulnerable and aren't allowed to show feelings. So that kind of repression is like a ticking time bomb, you know, especially for a person in Eddie's life, or his lifestyle. So to kind of relinquish this boundary of who Ryan is and step into Eddie and just kind of just full-on dive deep into these this well of emotion, it was, it was almost like therapy. It was crazy because, you know, from the second they started to say rolling, it's like my—I started to, you know, start bawling and crying, and when Buck comes in and, you know, he's trying to check in on me and the whole room is just all scattered around and I'm losing it—it's just like there was no semblance of Ryan anymore. It was just all Eddie and he was just lost, and that's what it is.
It's like if I were to look at my son, you know, five year old son, that's kind of what we revert back to is just this child that is just so scared and not having any sense of direction and—or hope that anybody will ever love him or ever see him. And it's just these like, you know, existential fears that come out within those tears, and that was my goal to portray that whole scene and then the scene following it. So to get there was just let go, just let go.
Well, the work you did was clearly honest and raw and vulnerable. You can't fake the work that you did in that. And it was really a powerful man for many people to kind of go through that with you and for people who have had their own experiences. And you're right, like, I'm from an old school Italian family. And, you know, you grow up thinking men don't go through that and men don't show those emotions. So to have that on prime-time TV is huge.
Yeah, I hope that helped out a lot of people. I hope that people were actually able to see that and at least, you know, go to their best guy friend, and, you know, I think that's what really needs to happen. As far as men, we need to lean on each other. You know, women have their own issues and they have their certain way of connecting with each other, but there's a special connection that you can have with your brother. And I give so much credit to quite a few of my personal brothers—including my actual brother—for allowing me to run to them in my moments of need, in my moments of feeling lost. And them, you know, being men themselves, not having to say one thing to me.
Or they can just, you know, if they see me in a moment of, you know, deep into a problem, they have the ability to say, well, here's a solution. And since I'm, you know, of like mind, I can be like, okay, you know what? Thank you for giving me some kind of direction. So yeah, I implore all men out there to kind of at least have one or two in your corner, you know, because we can't get anywhere without community.
Absolutely. What have you most learned about yourself through playing this character for so many years? You know, you joined in season two. It's been a lot of years now under your belt. Have you thought about that? Have you learned anything through playing, Eddie?
I've learned a lot through Eddie. I've learned patience. He's a—you know, he has a sense of patience that I didn't have in the beginning even prior to being a father, you know, and then kids itself, they teach you how to be patient. So, yeah, I've learned how to be there as a father. Kind of oddly enough, it was just living as one onscreen prior to actually being one in real life, it gave me, say, practice. I get to practice on television what I get to implore with my own children. And, you know, even if it's the worst thing for Eddie, you know, and I see him doing something horrible, at least I come back home, like, well, that can't happen. I can't do that with my kids. So, yeah, and in so many ways, it's helped me grow as a man, let alone a father.
That's pretty awesome when you can take things away from your job like that and become a better person. I love that so much. Can you believe you've been on the show for so long now? Do you ever think like, damn, that's not normal. That's the rarity in the business. So is that a cool feeling for you?
Yeah, I literally just had that moment yesterday. We were filming a scene, all of us, the whole cast, and I'm sitting outside—I can't tell you the location, that's going to blow something—I'm sitting outside one of the sets and I just had that moment to myself. I'm like, oh my God, I'm actually here. How did I get so lucky to be on not only just a television show, the number one television show out there, where we're in our seventh season and we're creating numbers that people don't even get in their first season? So again, if there's a moment to tap into, let's get into that gratitude again and just be super thankful that I was lucky enough to land this.
[COMMERCIAL BREAK]
That is so cool, and that's why I have no doubt you'll continue having so much success in your career and in your personal life because you keep bringing up gratitude, and it's very evident that's something you lead your life with. And in fact, I saw a recent Instagram post where you give a beautiful tribute to Twitch, and you credit him with being able to form connection with people in your life now and to different things and places, and I thought that was such a beautiful way to show people that you're working on yourself and you're a work in progress and that he helps you kind of open your eyes. So that was a really cool moment for you to also reveal.
Thank you, yeah. Yeah, I believe so much of the world right now is showcasing a polished version of themselves. And to be honest, I did it myself for so long that I've become tired of it, and I would much rather get to the raw—the raw, the unfiltered, the, you know, the mess ups, the, you know—I've stuck my foot in my mouth too many times. I've done, you know, stupid things in my life, and I never want to present myself as a person that does everything great because there's so many things I suck at.
So I think there's an opportunity within that rawness to invite others to become raw themselves, and for us to see that, you know, we're not competing with each other, we're competing with ourself and our own image of ourself and friends like, you know, a brother like, like Twitch, you know, and—not understanding what he was going through and that lack of connectivity that I always, you know, felt but never acted on, which again, I felt imposter syndrome for so long of calling him my brother. It really struck a chord in me and now I can't go backwards. Now I'm propelled forward to be like, is this conversation authentic between us or are we just kind of saying what we have to say just so we can pass on to the next person and create whatever that is? And I'm not here for that. I would much rather have that depth and I'd much rather have that rawness.
Beautifully said and a perfect segue into what I want to finish this conversation with, which is based off the title of the show: I've Never Said This Before. So I'm wondering, is there anything that comes to mind that you want to share today that you've never shared before?
Uh. Huh. Yeah, you know what? I've been thinking about this for so long and there's so many things, you know, that come to mind. One specifically, and I've been hesitant to actually say any of this for so long because, you know, it's been years upon years.
About six and a half, seven years ago—and I've really never said this out loud, especially onto a public platform—I had my own mental health crisis and I tried at one point in time to take my own life. And luckily, it didn't work. Luckily, I got a second chance by the grace of God. And from that moment forward, I've taken each step as an opportunity to erase what got me there and build on what allowed me to live forward. So I would say that that moment itself, in addition to what happened to my brother Twitch, are probably the two biggest fundamental moments of my entire life and have allowed me to have a deeper sense of mercy and empathy towards every individual.
So I would implore that all men renounce this fact of, you know, you're a tough man, you have to hold all this in, but lean on your brother, really lean on your brother. And if your brothers aren't being there in the way they need to be, find some new ones. Because that's another thing, if you don't have the people that are conducive to a healthy lifestyle and you're keeping on to them because of loyalty, let them go. There's plenty of other people. There's people that have been through your situation before that are willing and more than willing, you know, to help. So yeah, that was a big one.
Man, first of all, thank you for sharing something so personal and close to your heart with me today. I feel honored that you did open up and share that. And I'm truly—God, this could be another half hour conversation, so I'll keep it short—but I'm truly grateful that you are spreading that message today for anybody listening because, you know, mental health is a crisis and I think people sometimes look at you, they look at me, they think everything's perfect. We are, you know, in this public space and what can be wrong?
And when you humanize real shit like that, it makes people feel less alone. And you got through it, you realize that wasn't the right way to go about it and your life forever changed for the better, and I'm truly grateful that you put that message out today because you have no idea how many people you're going to be helping with that. And I truly know that that's something that's not easy to get off your chest. And for that, I thank you and I know so many people will be thanking you, and I hope you feel kind of like a little bit of a weight lifted that you share that hopefully.
Yeah, it's kind of hard to understand what I'm feeling at the moment. But I hope in what you said is true. And I hope that, again, I would love to do more for mental health, especially for men, I mean, just in general, to be honest. But yes, I hope that there is a new wave out there that's kind of taking over that we can actually have some cohesiveness and connection, a true understanding of what connection is. Let's revisit that. So this issue isn't a common issue anymore. If we can take that down, then let's do it. I'm here for it.
Beautifully said, and thank you again for sharing that. I could talk to you for hours, especially leaving with that. I think you're such a cool person. And you watch people, I get to talk to people all the time. But this to me was a real conversation, and that's what I value. That's why I have a show called I've Never Said This Before, and I want to talk about the projects that the fans love, but also leave room to talk about things that matter. I don't think there's enough of that. So I truly thank you for hanging out, for coming on, for talking about the fun of 911, which we all love, and it's killing it in every way, but also sharing a little piece of you. I hope you enjoyed the conversation as much as I have.
Thanks for having me, my man. Yeah, I had a great time.
Thank you, and remind everyone where, how, when, all the things about your show.
Yes, please watch Thursdays at 8 on ABC.
All right, and stay tuned for the karaoke scene that you just promised you will be dropping.
Yeah, maybe when I'm fired again.
All right, man, until we meet again, take care.
All right, brother.
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borntoyearn · 2 years
Text
Everything hurts. Your boobs, your lower back, your legs...fuck everything aches. It's the last month of your pregnancy and you want to die. Not literally, but god these last weeks have been hell. Simon has been so damn patient with you– just yesterday you snapped at him for "crunching too loud" on his cereal. He apologized and sat at the other end of the couch.
He's been an angel, and you want to cry for how mean you've been to him. He swears he gets whiplash from your mood swings, but he wouldn't have it any other way. You're carrying his baby– he has no right to complain about your moodiness.
Uncomfortable is the word you would use to describe the last days until you become a family of three. You can't even sneeze without peeing a little, its fucking embarrassing. Most of all, the new ache between your legs is insane. It's so sensitive down there, when the inseam of your leggings brushes the nub just right, you almost whine.
Simon's almost-new-dad status doesn't help. He works around the house and looks so fucking sexy doing it. You came back from a walk some days ago and found him sitting in the nursery, brows furrowed trying to decipher the crib instructions. You fought every urge not to pounce on him. Today though, its unbearable. You need to cum, like...right now.
"Babe my boobs hurt," the first hint...well, hardly a hint. But it's a start. Simon only humphs in response, apparently the documentary on Machu Picchu is more important than your current predicament.
"Uh hello? They fucking hurt, Simon" you press. Okay, watch your tone, breathe...he's just invested in the Incas right now.
"Can you help me?" you plead. Now he turns to look over at you. "What do you need, love?" his tone is calm, even that makes you feral. But fuck, what do you need? Well...
"Take off my shirt please" you give him your best doe eyes. Simon puts down the remote on the coffee table and scoots closer to you. "Arms up princess" your pussy pulses at the nickname, "My bra too please, it's killing me." He takes both garments off so gently. "That all you need?" Fuck no, not even close.
"Take your shirt off."
"Mine? Why?"
"I want you hold me."
He complies, of course he does. Simon has been fighting the horny demons too. Jerking off doesn't even help anymore– he needs you just as much as you need him.
His shirt is off and he lays down, you lay next to him. Chest to chest...or belly to belly is more accurate. It's just not enough. You grow impatient, "Babe, I need you." It's barely a whisper, but dripping with want. "I don't think we can anymore, doll." You want to stomp like a child. Your current position only lets you nudge his foot with yours. "Please baby. I think I'll die if I don't have you." He chuckles, "I'm so serious, Simon. If I don't cum in the next thirty minutes you wont have a wife anymore." He doesn't say anything, but you know he's thinking.
"Okay, flip over" Fuck yes. Finally. It's happening. You miss him...so much. The last time he took you to pound town was after your baby shower, two months ago.
You're on your back now and Simon is on his knees between your legs, looking down at you. "Promise me you'll tell me if it gets too much." He's serious and you shudder. "Yeah, I promise honey." He leans down and gives your cheek a kiss, then your forehead, and finally your lips. "Thank you" he says. He dips his head to plant wet kisses on your neck, your collarbone. He lays his head on your chest for a moment, and continues on his venture. Your breasts are equally as pleading as you are, begging to be touched. He gives them a light squeeze, he knows they're sensitive. Then he suckles on your left nipple, massaging the other. You mewl...its been so long.
You two used to go at it daily, even earlier in your pregnancy. Then your body started to change and things started to get uncomfortable, so sex was off the table until the baby arrived. Right now, you're so happy. His mouth feels amazing on your tits, but you need him somewhere else.
"Simon, baby" you manage to speak, "need your mouth on me"
"It is on you" he challenges.
"You know what I mean."
"I don't think I do" oh he loves you like this, he'll make you beg if he has to. But you don't have the patience, not tonight.
"On my pussy. Need your mouth on my pussy." You moan and arch into his touch. You can't even see that his hand is under your shorts and panties. Another belly problem.
"I've got you mama, don't worry." You swear you cream. He takes off your shorts and scoots back to dip his head between your legs. He presses his nose into your clothed core and inhales deep, "Fuck you smell amazing." Simon can be so nasty, but you love it.
You jerk hard when he presses a kiss to your pussy. He sits back a little, concerned. "You okay?" you can only nod in response. You're dizzy already and he hasn't even taken your panties off. He goes back to the task at hand. Simon drags his hands down your waist, hooks his fingers on the waistband of your panties and slides them off. The sight is to die for. Your clit is so big and puffy and red, practically screaming to be played with. He cant help but ask. "Are you in any pain, love?" you laugh. He takes that as a no.
Simon's tongue licks a fat stripe over your folds. You might die, fuck you're gonna die. He parts them and licks at the center. The way he suckles on your clit is fucking divine. Everything feels so much more intense with the pregnancy. Your legs are already twitching. Simon's tongue flicks over the angry red nub. It's getting you to the edge, fuck its too soon though. You want to cry, it cant be over yet.
"Baby no more please!" It's all you can manage to squeal. He sits back, breathless. Your juices coat his lips and chin. You wanna kiss him so bad. "C'mere please." You grab at his tattooed bicep and pull him on top of you. "Need your cock" you plead in his ear, "I need it so bad."
"Baby we cant, I'll hurt the ba-"
"Just the tip." Your negotiation skills are terrible, but you literally need this, "Please just rub your tip on me. That's all I need."
How the hell is he gonna say no to that? Simon gets up to take off his sweats and briefs. His cock springs up to his abdomen, you can see the pre that has smeared all over the tip. He gets on top of you once more, your legs immediately wrap around his waist.
"You're shaking, you cold?" Fuck you are shaking, his tongue on you and the sight of his dick have you fucking shaking. "No not cold babe, just fuck me please." Simon shakes his head and laughs, he'll never get over how needy you can get. He doesn't want to make you wait much longer, maybe you will die if he takes another minute.
He grabs his cock and rubs it between your folds, the tip bumps against your bundle of nerves– you both sigh at the contact. Once his dick is coated enough, he slides into your clenching hole. Simon has to remind himself that its just his tip for today, but the way your walls are fluttering on his head and sucking him in more...he's fighting every urge to not bury himself balls deep in you. You're a moaning mess at this point. He's moving his hips just enough to slide his cockhead in and out of you. You're almost there, but just need a little push. So you grab Simon's thumb, suck on it, and you guide it down to play with your clit. He looks at you and nearly cums too– his heavily pregnant wife, her legs spread wide open literally creaming on his dick. It could be his own personal porno.
A few more quick strokes of his cock send you over the edge. Your back arches and you moan loud, relief and pleasure wash over you. You have to smack his hand away from your pussy from the sensitivity. Simon is fucked out, he's chasing his high too.
"Where do you want it?" He's frantic, hopefully you read his mind.
"On my belly..wan' it on my belly" you respond, breathless. That was it. That was his push.
Simon pulls out and strokes himself a couple of more times. His tip a lighter color than before he fucked you, it's probably the layer of your cum. He puts his hand next to your head and leans over you. The slick fwop fwop from his dick makes you dizzy all over again. He cums hard. His seed shoots out in long strings over your tummy. He groans loud next to your ear.
"Fuuuuck, look at that. Look at the mess we made." It is a mess. You can't see the dark spot the couch has now, but that's something you'll deal with later.
Simon is still staring at the marking he gave you. He reaches over and grabs his cellphone. It'd be a sin if he didn't capture this moment. He then grabs his tossed shirt and cleans you up, stomach and pussy.
"I can't get up" you whine.
"C'mon we have to shower."
"Carry me" you jut out your bottom lip. He can't help but kiss you, his darling wife.
So carry you he does. He also washes your hair in the shower and gives some extra love to your belly. As many changes that you both have gone through, he's content to know that you'll always want him, and he damn sure will always want you.
a/n: literally ignore this rushed ass ending y'all 😖 dad!simon brainrot is tew real !! maybe i'll write some headcanons since i am not able to write long fics like this one without sounding silly LMAO
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stuffeddeer · 2 months
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Hello! Are requests open?
If not, ignore this ask.
I wanted to ask you a beast dazai x neglected reader. Like, a reader who has been ignored and neglected from her entire family since she grow up. She no longer gets goodbyes, she has to cook for herself, her parents don't even acknowledge her when she's sick.
She's been recently accepted as a member of the port, more specifically a secretary of the one and only Dazai Osamu in flesh and bones. Just her luck, this so "scary demon prodigy" is also the sweetest most loyal and pretty boyfriend of her.
When Dazai finds out how she gets (or rather not get) treated at home, he gets genuinely pissed off!! And wanting her to just be good, he asks her if she want to spend sometime in his penthouse, far from that family, somewhere where all the attention she needs is on her, at least there Dazai can actually show her how much she's worth all the love in the world! Come on, she gave him a reason to live, how could he even accept she is living a shitty life in such an house?
Also, PLEASE, PLEASE. An au where beast dazai doesn't kill himself. Also, I love the concept that in every universe the reader and him are soulmates. Like, it's just so perfect I'm so in love with that idea!!
ALSO AGAIN OPS, i wanted to say that I LOVE LOVE your dazai SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH!!!! I've recently stumbled into your blog and I MUST SAY THAT THIS IS JUST.. PERFECT???? I love YOU, deer, for all your wonderful ideas, I love THE ASKS, because damn all your asks give just as wonderful ideas as the one you write out, and I love YOUR WORKS especially the y!dazai like yes???? Just yes????
(My favorite character is Chuuya, but my soft spot for Beast dazai is actually insane, you don't even imagine how much I love that man. Also, because my heart just hurt and break each time people talk about Dazai being a cheater, THANK YOU??? THE ASK, AND YOUR REPLY, THANK YOU SO MUCH??? COULDN'T LIVE WITH THE FEELING DAZAI THAT CHEATS ANYMORE! THANK YOU THANK YOU)
Anyways.
Woah, this got long, I swear I'm not crazy..
Can I be ⏳️ anon if no one else is??
HIII ⏳️ ANON!!! im so glad you enjoy my works and my dazai!!! (as opposed to . asagiris dazai lmaooo)
im sorry this is so late 😭 but im back on the writing grind 😼
The lights were on in your boyfriend’s penthouse, a bolt of worry shooting down your spine at the sight. With his spare key haphazardly shoved into your pocket and door left wide open, you tiptoe into what should've been his apartment, trying to find out if someone broke in.
Dazai had asked you to stop by and drop off something at his place — not exactly standard work for a secretary but you were happy to assist your boyfriend. In your arms now were the groceries a different lackey had picked up and left on your desk. Normally Dazai would take them back himself, he said, but he would need to stay at work late and finish up some things. You were to take his place and make sure the refrigerated goods didn’t go bad. That’s what he said to you, anyway, which you found a bit confounding; Couldn't he have a lackey bring it up in your stead? Sure, Dazai liked to bring his own food to his home to alleviate the threat of poison, but it wouldn't be the first time he let it happen anyway.
While you had been a bit skeptical, pushing the topic seemed unnecessary since you were more than willing to do it either way. Any time spent far from your home and your family was time you cherished, so you didn’t think twice before accepting his stupid and unusual request and taking his spare penthouse key.
But now, you were regretting it. Anyone capable of breaking into the Port Mafia boss’s penthouse was not someone to be underestimated: you were in serious trouble. Cautiously, you hold the paper bags tightly to keep the food from moving around noisily before peeking into the kitchen: the room with the lights on. What could they be doing here..?
Plating dinner, apparently.
“Love! You’ve finally arrived - good. Take a seat!”
Your boyfriend was donned in a frilly pink apron you’re sure he bought just for this occasion, since you've never seen him in it before. With an amused chuckle, you stepped back. "Let me close the door then I'll join you."
After putting away all of the groceries he'd asked you to bring home for him - and realizing he already had all of these items in his cupboards and refrigerator already - you tug on the ribbon keeping the apron fixed against his neck.
The top half falls down from his chest, curling over the second tie around his hips and dangling loosely. "Undressing me already?" Dazai hums playfully.
"You're obnoxious." Next comes the tie around his waist, the bunched up apron fabric quickly pulled against your chest. You gently push Dazai to the side as you unfold it. "C'mon, I'll take over now."
Dazai huffs childishly, pouting dramatically for the full effect. "Hey!" He reaches out, snagging the apron from you and quickly tying it back on himself. Hands securely gripping your waist, Dazai lifts you from the ground and carries you - feet hovering just over the wooden floor - to the dining room, where an empty basket sits between variously sized candles on a decorated table.
On either side of the table are empty plates and fancy napkins, ones you hadn't known Dazai even owned, with cutlery resting on top. Two glasses sit on the table, one scotch and one wine glass, both filled with their respective drinks. Dazai sets you down next to the table, feet finally touching the floor once again while his arms snake out from your waist, making sure to pat your tummy once as his hand slides around it.
"Hope you're hungry - I made your favorite. It's all plated and ready to go, I just... burnt the bread you like. That garlicky kind from that restaurant we went to a few weeks ago? I gently requested the chef to give me the recipe and she happily handed it over! Of course, it must've been my handsome good looks that finally made her acquiesce rather than the gun in my coat pocket— "
Your wonderful boyfriend continues to prattle on and yet you barely register any of it, just thinking about how he knew you liked that bread and wanted to go to extreme lengths to recreate it for you. A bit timidly, you hold his hands in yours, giving them a mild squeeze. "I can't believe you went to the trouble."
The sound of your whisper makes Dazai grin, puffing out his chest in pride. "Of course! I'd do anything for my love," he says, voice leaning more on the side of egotistical than genuine, a light joke hoping to make you laugh. Like always, he succeeds.
The kiss you press to his cheek makes his smile turn more sincere, a hand moving to flatten the frilly pink fabric around his waist. "Guess you read my apron."
You look down, noticing the tacky KISS THE CHEF embroidered onto the front. A playful scoff passes your lips, rolling your eyes while trying to bite back a smile. "You're annoying. How long have you had this?"
"Umm~," he hums for a moment. "7 hours? And I thought you said I was obnoxious." A high pitched ding! sounds from the kitchen, Dazai quickly rushing back and leaving you alone. You gaze back at the dinner table he set up, smiling excitedly at the thought of him putting all this together just for you.
Spending time with Dazai always lifts a weight off of your shoulders, laughing at his dumb jokes and complaining about your day - it’s a wonderful feeling the both of you lacked prior. Him from his upbringing in the mafia, following in Mori’s footsteps and cursed to take his position, and you - not allowed to rely on anyone except yourself from the moment you could walk. Both you and Dazai were accustomed to loneliness and isolation, knowing the only people you could trust were yourselves.
Coming together after forced alienation all your life made you bit hesitant to depend on him, especially at first. Asking for attention and affection is much scarier than just wanting it. However, Dazai had seemed to warm up to the idea relatively quickly, as though he already knew you could be trusted and had already been used to your presence.
It was a bit jarring, knowing the scary mafia boss was so enamored with you he'd practically jump onto you if you got too close. All things considered, he should've been as cautious as you were, but Dazai so easily slid into his role as your partner. Sometimes you feel bad knowing that you haven't been as forthcoming as he has.
"Stay with me tonight."
The sudden turn in conversation makes you freeze, hand pausing with your glass of wine lingering just in front of your lips. Conversation had been flowing easily just moments prior — chatting about each other's day and various similar small talk, before turning to the dinner at hand. You'd thanked Dazai for the meal before asking him why he decided to do this for you so randomly. Instead of answering, he'd simply replied with the above: stay with me tonight.
"Stay here? Overnight? It's a bit last minute..."
Dazai smiles as you set your wine glass down, staring at him as though expecting an elaboration. Which, of course, he's willing to supply. "And tomorrow night, if you'd like. The one after and every night after that."
Is he asking me to move in? you think, breath hitching. It's all so sudden; you'd never even discussed this possibility with him. Sure, you've spent a night or two over here and there - but very sporadically. It wasn't something often and definitely not frequent enough to lead into moving in so soon.
"Stop overthinking," he cuts into your thoughts. "Take what I'm saying at face value." Gently, Dazai's hand reaches out to grab yours, arm resting on the table as his thumb traces your knuckles. "Stay with me tonight. And we can reassess tomorrow."
Of course he knows how to calm you down, causing you to breathe as you focus on his thumb's ministrations on your hand. Well, it would be nice, knowing the options are to stay with your loving boyfriend or go home to your neglectful family. They wouldn't even notice you're gone, much less care where you ended up, but...
"I have pajamas and clothes for you to use, spare toothbrush and the like." Dazai had answered your question before you even asked, something that always made you smile. No one had ever taken the time to know you, much less well enough to read your mind like that. "If they're not to your liking, I'll have a subordinate get you something else."
You shake your head, wanting nothing more than to spend a night away from your home once again. Or away from your house, rather - since Dazai has quickly proven himself to be your home. "I bet they're perfect. And if not, I— " you hesitate, not wanting to impose. The last thing you wanted was to be—
"You aren't a burden. If not, we can just get something else," Dazai cuts off your train of thought. "I want to, okay? I want to take care of you. I want you to know what it's like to be looked after and taken care of."
"I was going to say if not, maybe I can move some of my clothes here... for the times I stay over." Anxiously, you pick up your fork to poke and prod at your meal, the lovely dinner Dazai had crafted just for you consisting of only your favorite foods.
Dazai nods quickly, eyes glimmering at the idea. He knows this is your metaphorical olive branch, letting him know that you're working up to one day moving in with him. All he wants and all he's ever wanted for as long as he's known you, spanning across multiple lives, is to keep you safe and happy.
The topic changes as dinner continues, and before you know it you're donned in the most expensive pajamas curled up against Dazai fast asleep. Watching you snore beside him, all he can think about is making sure you're surrounded solely by people who cherish you.
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robinbuckleysfringe · 7 months
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you are in love.
tom blyth social media au
pairings: Jacob Elordi x reader, eventual Tom Blyth x reader
warnings: none
part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6
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*yninstagram has posted*
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liked by tomblyth, Zendaya, jacobelordi, rachelzegler and others
yninstagram cats out the bag, can finally announce that I'm joining the cast of The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes. see you november 17th 😘🫶🏻🤭
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jacobelordi proud of you ❤️
↪️ yninstagram love you ❤️
rachelzegler so happy that we can finally work together 💕💕
↪️ yninstagram dream come true 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
hunterschafer "cats out the bag" as if you didn't ring me straight after you found out 😂
↪️ yninstagram 😂 can't keep a secret to save my life 😂🤭🤐
↪️ zendaya you're almost as bad as @/tomholland2013 😂
↪️ yninstagram @/zendaya at least I'm yet to spoil a whole ass movie 😂
↪️ tomholland2013 keyword there being "yet" 😂. on a serious note, congrats on the new movie you absolute star ⭐️
↪️ yninstagram thanks Tom 🫶🏻💕
tomblyth bring on the press tour madness
↪️ yninstagram indeed 🫶🏻
user omg was already excited for this but am even more now I know you're in it!!
user so excited!!!
user YES YES YES!!!
user can't wait!! the cast for this movie is insane!!
user iconic that both you and Jacob have your movies out on the same day
↪️ user omg yes!! didn't realise that Jacob's film also comes out that day
↪️ yninstagram some might say we planned that on purpose (we didn't actually)
↪️ user imagine if you guys had tho 😍. Power couple
☆☆☆
*yninstagram has posted*
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tagged jacobelordi & keoghan92
liked by florencepugh, jacobelordi, keoghan92, tomblyth and others
yninstagram Saltburn premiere with my love ❤️. so bloody proud of you @/jacobelordi, you Hollywood star ⭐️⭐️😘
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jacobelordi love you, my darling ❤️ xx
↪️ yninstagram ❤️
rachelzegler fit 😍😍
↪️ yninstagram no you 🥰🥰🥰
hunterschafer endlessly proud of the both of you, you absolute gorgeous humans 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
↪️ yninstagram luv ya 💕
↪️ jacobelordi thanks Hunter x
user jacob calling her "my darling" 🥺🥺🥺 I can't!!!
user the cutest couple
user mum and dad for real!!!
user THE FIT??? UNREAL
user omg the bts pic of Jacob!!! 🥺🥺😍😍
↪️ yninstagram ikr!!! made it my lockscreen instantly
↪️ user you're so real for this!!!!
*yninstagram has posted*
☆☆☆
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tagged jacobelordi, hunterschafer, rachelzegler, joshandresrivera and tomblyth
liked by tomholland2013, florencepugh, tomblyth, jacobelordi and others
yninstagram tbosas premiere with some of my favourite people 🕊🐍❤️
rachelzegler queen!!! 🫶🏻💕
jacobelordi stunning 😍
↪️ yninstagram 😘
hunterschafer love you!!! 💕
↪️ yninstagram love you more!!!!!!! 💕💕
tomblyth ❤️
↪️ yninstagram ❤️
user she's so pretty!!!
user can't wait to see the film!!!
user omg y/n and Jacob supporting each other at their premieres is the cutest!!!!
↪️ user love them so much
user she owned the red carpet 😍😍
↪️ rachelzegler for real!!!
↪️ user OMG RACHEL!!!
user mum and dad looking so in love in the last slide 🥰🥺
user mother is mothering
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
let me know if you want more parts to this. I'm slowly getting back into the world of writing.
feedback is always welcome x
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jareaul0ver · 5 months
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Come With Me
Summary: Nika gets drafted to a team all the way across the country, and you're terrified of what's coming next, but she has everything planned out.
inspired by this request
wc: 917 warnings: angst if you squint, nothing else really pairings: nika muhl x fem!reader
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After being with Nika for the last three years of your life, spending almost every single day with her, sleeping in her bed every night, you couldn't imagine how life would be if she got drafted to somewhere far from you.
You were hoping she'd be drafted to the Connecticut Sun, so you two could stay together after graduation. If that didn't happen, you at least hoped for a team on the east coast.
Of course, your hopes and dreams were shattered, but momentarily put on pause, when you heard her name called as the Seattle Storm's first draft pick.
Pushing down any emotion but happiness for Nika, you jump up and hug her tightly. "I'm so proud of you." You whisper against her ear. She pecks your cheek before hugging a few others and heading up to the stage.
You can't help but let a few tears fall down your face as you watch her. You're overwhelmed with pride, excitement, sadness - pretty much every emotion ever.
Your girlfriend is going to be a professional basketball player. How many people get to say that?
When she comes back over to you, your arms wrap around her neck and you pull her body close to yours. The two of you have never been much for PDA in the past, but in the moment, neither of you cared.
"I am so incredibly proud of you, my love." You mumble before pressing a sweet kiss on her lips. She can't help the smile forming on her face, and she kisses you back before pulling away.
Her hands settled on your waist and she spoke softly. "I love you."
"I love you, Nika."
The next few days felt like a blur. Nika was packing her things to head to Kelsey Plum's Dawg Class training camp. As you watched her from the doorway of the bedroom, a small frown etched itself on your face.
Nika glanced over at you and saw your expression. She stopped what she was doing and immediately walked over to you. "What's wrong, bebo?"
You shook your head. "You're leaving."
Her hands settled on your waist and pulled you towards her. "Only for a week. Then I'll be back and-"
"And then you have to go to Seattle. Not just for a week or two, but for good." The tone of your voice was sad, and Nika found herself frowning.
"That's only if I make the team." Her thumbs gently stroked the fabric of your shorts her shorts that you stole.
You laughed in a bit of disbelief. "You're making the team, don't be ridiculous." You stared at her and felt your eyes beginning to water. "I really don't want you to go. To leave me." Your voice was low and shaky.
She placed a kiss on your forehead and pulled you into a tight hug. "I don't want to leave you, either. If I could stay, I would."
You sniffled and nodded. "I know. You're just-" You took a deep breath. "You're gonna be so far."
Nika pulled away and looked at you, her soft brown eyes not leaving yours for a second. A brief light lit up in her gaze, and you noticed it. "Then come with me." She spoke quickly, like she was ripping off some sort of metaphorical band-aid.
"What?" You looked up at her.
"Come to Seattle with me. After graduation, we can move out there, and- We won't have to be apart." Her words came out so delicately and you found yourself mentally falling apart.
Uprooting your life and moving to the other side of the country? It sounded insane, almost. "Nika.." But you would do anything for her.
"I'm serious, we can get an apartment- or even a house- and it'll be perfect!" You had never seen her so genuine about something in her life. Your heart was pounding against your chest, you felt like at any moment it would leap out and expose to Nika how she was making you melt.
You stared at her for what felt like forever as you contemplated your choices. You could either go with her after graduation, and live the life you've always wanted with her, even though you'd be throwing everything in Connecticut behind. Or, you could stay here, losing the best thing that's ever happened to you.
You'd lose the one person that kept you grounded, that knew your coffee order without having to ask, knew what temperature you liked the bedroom to be at night. She was the only person in your life that had ever given you so much security to where you felt like, maybe, you just could give up everything else for her.
"Okay." You nodded, tears spilling from your eyes. "Yeah, okay."
Nika could’ve screamed at your answer. "Really?" Her eyes widened and she brought a hand up to wipe your tears. "You really want to?"
“I do.” You sniffled, angling your head to lean into her hand.
Her smile was wide as she leaned in and pressed your lips together, only for a split second before pulling back and pressing a kiss to your forehead.
“I love you, bebo.” She mumbled.
You tucked your head under her jaw and took a deep breath. “I love you.”
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auroreliis · 1 year
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Batfam would have to do research on my special interests if they want to win me over fast but also the thought of super serious Bruce and Damian watching/reading jojos bizarre adventure is really funny to me
Absolutely they would. For you, they would binge every show, play every game and read every paragraph of a book just to have something in common with you. They would all do it for different reasons, but in the end, you would have to listen to them outnerd you.
Bruce's regard for your interests is wholesome. He genuinely wants to know what makes you happy, what you do in your free time, what you could talk about for hours. In order to be able to listen to you talk for hours, he surrounds himself with your interests. You like this artist? He buys a few of their most popular albums. This game is entertaining to you? He either tries it out or watches you play it. There's this film you're excited about? He watches it with you.
Although most of your interests are different, he does actually find himself enjoying anything you enjoy. Perhaps it reminds him of you.
Dick has this one fear. He believes that no matter how persistent he is, if you aren't reciprocating his clinginess, the two of you will grow apart eventually, so he never leaves you alone, even when you beg him to. It isn't really a secret, as he makes it quite obvious, but he hopes you will one day embrace him as he embraces you. You probably get sick of him and tell him how boring he is, which shatters his heart completely.
Now he has to figure out a way to spend time with you, but he needs to make sure you are also enjoying his company, lest you hurt him with your cruelty once more, so he researches every last fact about your interests, be it an activity, a game, a book, a person, he knows everything about it. Dick doesn't want to make it obvious that he only found out this information the night prior, so he cautiously needs to start a conversation.
He most likely waits until you are occupied with your interest before walking up to you, "Hey, is that _____? Wow, I used to be obsessed with it as a kid, I'm suprised you even know it, it isn't that popular and it's quite old." He pats your head and sits down next to you, grinning as you start rambling about it to him. You are actually talking to him. It worked.
Jason is careful when sharing his interests with you. He needs to preserve his reputation as your cool older brother and usually people don't share his interests, so when he finds you reading a classic book, he seats himself nearby, waiting for you to finish reading. Once you're done, he makes sure you enjoyed the book before fanboying about it. You immediately notice how much of a nerd he is. He also recommends similar books or ones he thinks you would enjoy as well. In the end he pulls you into so many fandoms that you stop listening when he recommends books. You've already got like 40 more to read.
Tim does not have this problem. The moment he knew you existed, he educated himself and has kept up with your interests ever since. "Just in case", or ,"Just because", he said, typing a summary of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. "I might as well", he takes notes while binging One Piece. This guy is clinically insane. Fortunately for him, he can now start conversations with you very easily, since he knows everything about your interests (and everything else about you).
Side note: If you refuse to spend time with him even after he did all that for you, the following outcomes are possible:
Either you pity him and spend time with him or Dick tries and fails to guilt trip you, only to end up forcing you to spend time with poor Tim who was awake for a whole week just to impress you (Tim frantically nods along with anything Dick says).
Damian takes great pride in having things in common with you, so as soon as he notices you being fond of something, he surrounds himself with it. You have a favourite colour? He creates a few painting with specifically that colour. You like a certain animal? He will try to adopt one. Damian would, of course, never admit it to you, but he desperately wants you to notice that you two have similar interests (As in, you have an interest and he pretends to also like it just so you maybe talk to him).
If you don't talk to him, he will become more aggressive with his attempts of having you notice him, perhaps randomly coming into your room to paint, claiming that the lighting there is better. Or he asks Bruce to adopt a certain animal during dinner. His attempts are obvious to you, but he doesn't know that.
Cassandra wouldn't really need to share interests with you. She's always close to you anyway. While she does speak to you every now and then, she is perfectly comfortable with sitting in your proximity in silence. However, if you ever asked her to, she would research anything you need her to in order to rant or ramble to her. As long as she has her eyes on you, anything is fine.
Stephanie immediately goes to Tim for help, knowing that he went insane and made a bunch of summaries and notes. First, she makes fun of him, then she apologises, because he threatened to take the notes away, she then complains about how much there is to read before finishing the essays Tim wrote, giving herself about a week. Steph then talks to you as if she didn't go through all that trouble just to have a topic to talk to you about.
Dick told Barbara all about his shenanigans. She even helped him figure out what you're interested in, even researching about it herself. She isn't as intrusive as the others, instead waiting until the moment is right, not wanting to scare you away or overwhelm you. Perhaps if you're alone, she'll come up to you and start with small talk, only really mentioning your special interest if it's involved somehow. Overall, she is the least feral of the bunch (in this situation, at least).
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balkanradfem · 16 days
Text
So a few years ago, I accidentally discovered that my period cramps can go away completely, if I spend some time in a river when I get them. It happened when I had an arrangement with my friend, to go swimming on a river together, and I got my period that day, but wouldn't give up on going. After some time spent in water, not only the cramps were gone, they were gone for the rest of the period completely. They never came back.
Thrilled about this, I would rush to go inside the river every time I got my period, and sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't; it usually had to do with the level of pain. If my pain was about 6 out of 10 or less, the water would remove it. If it was 7 or upwards, the river didn't help, I would still be in as much pain as before. Sadly, I couldn't do this in the winter, as I can only be in the river for a minute or two before I cool down too much, and period pain required me to stay in there about 20 minutes at least.
So two years ago, I started getting intensely painful periods, to the point where I couldn't move, or speak, or even take medicine because I couldn't control my arms; I would vomit all afternoon, unable to keep anything down. I got worried that I might have some kind of disorder, because surely that level of pain couldn't be normal. I had to put aside my hatred of medicine and take some, because it felt like I would pass out from pain; and this wasn't normal for me, I would get a level 8 pain sometimes, but this was 10.
However this intense pain wasn't happening every month; sometimes it would skip two months, sometimes it would skip five, and I started feeling like, maybe it's not that serious if it's not happening every month, surely if I had a serious issue, it would be the same every month. And then sometime later, I found out a curious corellation. My period pain would go to insane level, if the month in question was filled with heavy psychological stress. The phase of my life when things were stable and I wasn't getting severely stressed, my period was fine, almost painless sometimes, I wouldn't even notice anything was up. But, as my life got worse, and my stress levels went up trough the roof, my period started getting intensely painful.
This was a relief to find out! Because now I know why things are getting so bad, and I can anticipate them, I don't have to stress about having a serious disorder, I can accept that all the pain I suppress or keep inside during the month, just comes out in a form of physical pain during the period. I guess hormones work it out and decide 'hey you can't keep all that stress cramped in your stomach, you need to let that go'.
Anyway, I woke up this morning with a realization that I just got my period, had a pretty stressful month, especially last week where I was having emotional issues every single day, and I had to go to work in 2 hours. I rushed inside the river, spent half an hour in there, and, pain reduced from 6 to 1. It climbed up to 3 while I was doing physical work, but after I got home and lied down, it went away completely. I'm okay now! I'm so happy to have this knowledge and instead of spending two days in pain, I can just be okay, my pain dissipating in the soothing river water. A body of water is just so great at absorbing stress from my body and having it float away. Level 6 cramps are no problem for the river.
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mamirhodessxox · 8 months
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Daddy Dearest <3
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Girl dad!Leon x Mom!Reader
Blue for Leon pink for reader & purple for D/N
Desc: Despite his career path Leon has been developing pretty well to his girl dad life & revolves entirely around world around his wife & sweet little angel babygirl
Tags: Tooth Aching fluff, Dilf Leon, No smut ‼️‼️‼️, Just dad Leon living his dream! No use of y/n, D/n stands for Daughters Name
I'm very serious with you guys interacting with my writing!!!! it would make me so happy & excited, the more comments & reposts the more inspiration i have to write :) Votes and comments are strongly appreciated!!!
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Leon Loving his life was an understatement, He was a miserable guy not so long ago but it all changed once he met you & had his very first child! Of course after first he was worried about being a deadbeat father, but eventually he suited up and prepared for everything was to come, dropped his drinking habits, went to therapy for most of his trauma from working on the most messed up cases world wide known to mankind & even baby proofing the entire house you two shared for over 4 years.
He even went out of his way to take random target trips with you during your pregnancy to stare at nursery furniture and random trinkets and toys he found, holding up gender neutral baby clothing before knowing the gender & asking “you think this is cute sweetheart?” It was amazing how he became so obsessed with the thought of having his own little family with a white piket fence & beautiful front lawn garden (He started gardening as a coping mechanism which would soon be one of his top hobbies he brought onto his daughter.)
During the gender reveal he was nothing but pure excitement and joy to have a little baby girl that the next day he even went back to target and came home to baby-proof the entire house, testing objects to see if they would fall on a random baby doll etc, so much so that you had to go downstairs at 12 am and force him to take a break and come to bed, “You don’t think she’ll hit her head on the table one day right? I really wouldn’t want my little princess to get hurt” “I think you need to put down the baby proofing tools for the night & actually come to bed hun, it’s almost 1 o’clock”
Some days you would be in pure anguish because D/N would be doing pure gymnastics in your belly that Leon had to ‘have a talk’ but most of the time during your pregnancy he was always talking to your tummy, Asking her to relax on the jumping around in there, Sometimes waking up super early in the morning to talk to your belly & sometimes waking you up & hearing you tell him off a little bit in a muffled voice since you were buried in your body pillow. “Hi babygirl, you excited to get outta there & see your new room? Yeah? Oh I know your excited angel but you can’t keep kicking mama like this sweetheart it hurts her!”, “Can’t keep jumpin’ around in mommy’s belly sweetness your driving her insane sweetheart” “oh yeah!?You excited babydoll?” “Good morning my sweet girl, I can’t wait to see you y’know, mommy & I are so excited to meet you & hold you & love yo-“ “Leon what the hell are you doing awake at 5:30??” “Uh oh I woke up mom” “leon I swear to god if you don’t go back to sleep.”
And then came along the arrival of his awaited babygirl, he was so excited he even set up a little mini red carpet infront of her nursery & stars next to the door & even putting a little sign on your guys’ front door in bold glittery pink ‘Welcome Home Princess D/N” He even brought a little camera to make a home tape for every memory he makes with you & your daughter so when she is finally old enough she can watch, this tape includes her birthing where your shouting & screams could be heard such as “GOD FUCKING DAMNIT LEON!!” “I’M GONNA KILL YOU IN YOUR FUCKING SLEEP!”& his light crying of when she was born
After your daughter was born it was extremely difficult for you two to set a fair sleep schedule so for the first few weeks Leon would wake up at 2:30 AM whenever D/N was crying on the baby monitor and move the rocking chair placed in her room right next to the crib “What’s the matter sweetness? Can’t sleep again? I know babygirl it must be so tough trying to get your little beauty sleep huh?” He would slip his hand through the little bars of the crib and smile giddily every time she would wrap her little hand around his thumb, growing up was the most difficult for him, he cried every-time his sweet angel took her first steps, said her first word which was obviously a strained “da-da” which was to be expected since D/N was a total daddy’s girl. most of the time when he was off he would let you go to work so he could spend his days with your guys’ daughter, take her to the petting zoo, a random aquarium where she discovered her favorite animal was a sea horse, Leon’s entire existence revolved around D/N to the point where if her little fist was directed at something she wanted he bought it, she starts crying? He jumps right up to take her off your hands so you can relax, his entire world was revolving around her & you loved to see it, sometimes when you got home from work you’d see Leon on the living room floor with your daughter as she babbled playing with a random stuffed animal monkey “Hi honey, Took her to the petting zoo today, we discovered she really loves monkeys”
Some mornings when you would all sit at the table eating before the day started Leon would watch her in her high chair chew on whatever she had in-front of her causing a small mess where he would chuckle & clean up after her “Your just one messy little girl huh princess? Gonna have to teach you manners now little lady.” And then came the day where she got her very first booboo, I’m sure you can imagine what happened, Little D/N was running around the backyard chasing a butterfly while you & Leon just finished harvesting this falls apples and then randomly you heard a tiny little wail behind you causing Leon to jump up from the ground and scoop up his baby girl “Baby she has a cut on her knee we need to take her to the hospital now! Get in the car!” “Honey I think she’s alright nothing a little rubbing alcohol & a band aid can’t fix.” When the two of you went inside and into the bathroom he sat on the edge of the bath tub and sat little D/N on his knee while you rubbed some alcohol on her knee which reasonably made her wail out more than she did beforehand causing Leon to start tearing up and kissing the top of her head “I know angel I know it hurts but we can’t let your lil’ booboo get worse & nasty now can we?” Once you finished that 1 minute of anguish you two sat in the living room holding her close as you slightly teased Leon for his light crying “You love making daddy cry now don’t you honey? You know you have him tied up around your little finger huh” You joked while Leon grunted while worryingly making sure she didn’t hurt herself again
One day you caught him in her room when she was around 4 years old having a little tea party, he was sat in a chair next to her that was far to tiny for him to fit in as he wore a pink tiara around his head that was again to tiny for him & a pink fluffy tutu around his waist while fake sipping tea from the tea cup while causing her to giggle, You had just gotten home from work & leaned against the doorway smiling and holding in a laugh but Leon smiled back and stood up and had the tiny chair stuck on his ass causing you & D/N to laugh obnoxiously especially after he eventually was able to pull it off and walk over to you mumbling “shut up.” Before kissing you lightly & asking how your day went. Obviously because of his career he had to miss some important events at school for D/N and he felt AWFUL. He cried in your arms one night after returning from a 1 week trip where he missed father daughter school day where he imagined his poor babygirl sitting at her table in kindergarten watching everyone else with their dad while she had a confused expression. And every single night after that for a month straight he would have little sleepovers in her room where he read her bedtime stories, you know that one 3 little kitties book from despicable me? He obviously read that to her with the brightest smile on his face and once it was time for bed her would sleep on the floor right next to her toddler bed “Goodnight babygirl, daddy loves you so so much y’know that? You got his heart right in your little fist”
By the time she was 10 he was always helping her with school projects & homework & even going to father daughter dances with her, if
D/N wanted something all she had to do was ask and bat her little lashes, some days when he went to go pick her up from school with you in the car he would see her talking to a boy before running off to the car leaving him with a puzzled face “who the hell is that little twerp near my daughter? She does know he is not good enough for her right?” “Nuh-uh Leon, Don’t start let her have friend alright?” “Sweetheart just look at the little shit! He’s practically blushing looking at her right now!” “Oh stop it.”
Just imagine what it would be like when D/N is finally a teenager and brings a boy home for the first time..Leon makes it VERY clear nobody is good enough for his little girl & never will be, he is the entire reason why her standards will be extremely high…
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xtripleiiix’s Masterlist
🏷️ List: @ginswife @coolpastelartshoe @greatkoalawizard @cokolin044 @kotoriarlert
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misscammiedawn · 4 months
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Check to see if you have a 'bring your hair dryer to work with you' therapist.
I'm serious. I've been in and out of the mental healthcare system in the UK and US for over 20 years and if I have learned anything about clinicians it is that they divide care into "want to make the client "sane"" and "make the client able to live a comfortable/happy life" categories.
Let me explain.
There's a really good post that can be found here: http://benedante.blogspot.com/2016/12/the-hair-dryer-incident.html
The long and short is a person was struggling with obsessive compulsive disorder who worried that if they left their hair dryer plugged in then they would burn down their house. This had them disrupt their life to check on their fear and their clinician told them to bring the hair dryer to work with them so when the panic set in they could see the hair dryer was with them and it would soothe their fear with minimal disruption.
The blog post above goes into it. Mental healthcare professionals arguing over whether this was "enabling" and a detriment to healing and coping versus those who saw that the life disruption had been solved and it's okay for the client to not be healed if they can live their life.
-
So. Get a 'take your hair dryer to work' therapist. Ask yours about the hypothetical and see where their priorities lie. Are they trying to help you or heal you? They may sound like the same thing but they're not always. Ask yourself what you want from your circumstances?
We have DID and our therapist always treats us as individuals (something the DSM-V specifically warns clinicians against) because she saw how much damage it was doing for us to try and shift and change our behavior to be socially accepteable. It's better for our mental health to embrace "being insane" (my words, not hers) than to repress ourselves to the point of denying anyone the chance to get to know us.
Every clinician will carry baggage with them. That's just normal. But you got to know where their priorities lie. There's a lot of stigma in the mental health field. Knowing if they'd encourage you to act a little crazy for the sake of your peace and comfort helps.
At least. That's our opinion.
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uniquevoidflowers · 10 months
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"What's that noise?" Wild asked.
"Oh...I think...a portal?" Four stood up and listened.
Legend also listened for the noise and soon found it, repeating in his ear. An eerie, ominous noise. "Let's go then." Time demanded and everyone began packing the camp up.
Once everything was ready to go, the cook led them towards a swirly black and purple triangle. The veteran hero remembered going through the portal the first time and ending up in the clearing where all the Links had met. Warriors smirked as Legend inched closer to the portal. "Well, going first again, vet?"
"Who do you take me for?" Legend rolled his eyes and stepped through the portal, chuckles slowly distorting and fading until disappearing completely.
The vet looked around to see he was in his era, and a smile crept across his face. He might get to see Zelda again. "Hey, we're in my era." Legend called and turned around only to see no portal there, and no sign of anyone but himself.
The blood drained from his face.
"H-Hello?" He yelled and then ran around, looking through bushes and behind trees, everywhere he could.
No one.
Legend took a deep breath and waited. He could wait for the portal to appear again, or for his brothers to find him. If...If nothing happened he could go to the castle, or his house, look for the chain. Maybe the portal took them somewhere else? Silence filled the air as the skies became cloudy. Legend waited but no one arrived so he started on his way to his house. Ravio would be there, awaiting him. Eventually, he spotted his house on the orchard and sprinted towards the door, hand gripping the doorknob and pushing the door open. "Rav? I'm home!" He called.
Nothing.
"This isn't funny!" Legend huffed and began searching the house.
Instead of two beds, he found one. Instead of finding Ravio's stuff and numerous hoods he found a green tunic and some of his own stuff. Legend searched everywhere but it was like Ravio had never even existed in the first place. "Maybe he went to go sleepover somewhere." Legend said to himself and walked out of the empty house.
"I'll kill that idiot for leaving my house unattended." Legend muttered, no real anger in his tone.
He travelled to the castle. The villages bustled with villagers who didn't seem to notice the hero walking around. Legend tried walking past a knight who did nothing but blink at him and then look over at someone else. Huh. Weird.
The veteran made it to the castle and tried to walk in, but the guards didn't let him. "State your business." They ordered.
"I want to see Zelda." Legend demanded, irritated.
The guards looked at him with confusion. "Zelda? I ain't heard of a Zelda."
"Stop playing with me, this is serious. I'll let the princess know how you're acting. She won't be happy." Legend snapped, irritation flickering through his eyes.
"Hm?"
Legend looked to see a girl he didn't recognize with a crown and a white dress. "This boy has been requesting to see you." The guards bowed.
The girl's eyes flickered with suspicion. "Who are you and why are you here?" She asked the vet.
"I--I don't...I'm Link! The Hero of Legend? I saved Hyrule from Ganon...I want to see princess Zelda!" He insisted, voice cracking at the end.
"Who's Zelda?" She asked.
"The princess of Hyrule?!" Legend tried.
"I'm the princess of Hyrule." The girl replied, eyeing the vet with concern.
This wasn't a new Hyrule. Legend recognized everything, even some of the villagers were familiar faces. So why...? "I-This doesn't make any sense!" Legend cried out.
"Have you hit your head? Is there some spell affecting you?" The girl questioned.
She thought he was insane. "No...No..I...Sorry, I'll be out of your hair now." Legend ran out of the castle and ran until he bumped into someone.
It looked like Impa. "Oh, Impa, thank the goddesses." He breathed.
The lady paid him no mind. "Impa!" He hissed.
No one answered him. The lady brushed past him and walked to a stall. Legend ran back to her. "Excuse me?"
The lady finally turned around. "Yes?"
"Are you...Impa by chance?" He asked.
"Uh, no, sorry." The lady shook her head and went back to buying whatever she was buying.
Legend saw Gulley, standing around. "Gulley!" He called.
Gulley turned around. "Who are you?" He asked, face twisted in confusion.
"Link...." Legend tried.
"Doesn't ring a bell." Gulley shrugged and started walking away.
Tears pricked at his eyes as he broke into a sprint into the forest. He made it to his house. He opened the door and practically sunk in a chair. He pulled out a journal and began sketching everybody he remembered. Zelda...Ravio...Ralph...
He moved onto the chain and tried to do the old man first but he couldn't...he couldn't remember what his face looked like. All he could remember of the face was that the old man only had one eye. Legend tried to sketch the smith, but....what....what did he look like again?
He knew the smith was short for his age....but how old was he? After a few failed attempts at sketching the smith he moved on to the traveller. But...he couldn't do it.
Link fell apart and started sobbing, paper and pencil falling to the ground.
They all weren't real. Link was dreaming the entire time. Link screamed and started throwing things across the room, pots smashing against walls and items cracking and shattering on the ground. Link sobbed and sobbed. He couldn't take another dream. He thought Marin had been real, then she was a dream. He thought the chain was real. He believed his friends were real. But they weren't.
Link remained like that for a couple of hours before there were no tears left. He sat against the wall, taking a few deep breaths. Then...he felt...hollow. His thoughts swirled until they became gibberish. All he recognized was that he was
A L O N E
___________
Ravio was delighted to hear a knock on the door. He opened it wide to see Link's friends there, panicked expressions on their faces. Ravio's smile fell. "Everything alright?"
"We went through a portal. We were separated from Le-er Link. Is he here?" Mr. Captain Hero Sir asked.
Ravio shook his head. Link's friends exchanged worried glances. "I-I'm sure everything's okay! He probably is just making his way here, or he's with Zelda." Ravio insisted.
"Or he got lost in another era." Captain Hero Sir Jr. mused.
"Could that even happen?!" Tune gasped, eyes wide.
"It's a possibility but very unlikely." Mr. Captain Hero Sir sighed.
Ravio takes a deep breath. "Well, I'm going to check in with Zelda and if Link's not there...I'll have to contact everyone."
"We'll come with." Captain Hero Sir Jr. rumbled.
Ravio nodded and set out with the heroes. After a long while they all arrived at the castle. Zelda informed them that she hadn't seen Link in forever. She had only gotten letters. Ravio asked her to contact people and Mr. Ralph Sir had promised to check in with Labyrnnia and Holodrum to see if Link had gotten there. After a few days of searching, no one could find Link. Mr. Champion Hero Sir tried to use the slate thingy of his but it was no use. Mr. Chosen Hero tried using the Master Sword but it didn't work.
"Where could he be?!" Mr. Traveller Hero cried out.
"A different era." Captain Hero Sir Jr. sighed, face stoic.
"We need to find a portal then." Mr Captain Hero Sir demanded.
"By--"
"No. I'm coming with." Ravio huffed and stuffed a few of his weapons in a bag.
The heroes nodded, surprised and Ravio set out with them once more.
"Mr. Hero? Link?" Ravio whispered.
Link looked up at him. His eyes shone no light, his eyes red and the house he was sitting him an absolute disaster. Pots had been smashed, glass was sitting on the ground next to him. "Mr. Hero...what happened?" He asked.
"Not...real." Link mumbled.
"What?"
"You're not real." Link hissed and grabbed a jar from a table and threw it across the room, the glass flying on the floor.
"Mr. Hero, don't do that! I'm real, I promise." Ravio panicked and wrapped his arms around Link.
"You can't be..." Link growled and shoved the merchant off of him.
"Link. You disappeared on your companions, and myself, because you were whisked away somewhere else by the portal. None of us know where we are, but this is not the Hyrule we live in." Ravio explained.
"Not real!" Link grabbed another jar and threw it at Ravio, barely missing.
"It is!" Ravio promised, weakly.
Oh Lolia, how does he convince Link he's real? "Ravio? Ra-Woah what happened?" Mr. Chosen Hero gasped.
"He doesn't think I'm real." Ravio informed him, softly.
Link curled up on himself, shoulders shaking. Ravio hesitated but hugged Mr. Hero again. "I'm real. I promise. I'm staying right here with you Mr. Hero. We're both real."
Mr. Chosen Hero wrapped his white cape around Link, a sadness in his eyes. "What's happening right now, is we're in some sort of twisted version of your era. Warriors is finding out as much as he can, but we know that this is not your Hyrule."
Link looked up, tears streaming down his cheeks and he nodded. He didn't looked convinced but he still listened. Ravio would have to find a way to help him later. For now they needed to get back to Hyrule.
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pablitogavii · 1 year
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Special Visitor
Summary: You come to watch one of Pablo's games and then you two go on your first date! Very cute and fluffy :)
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You were very excited for seeing the game today especially since you started dating one of the players..and not just anybody but Pablo Paez Gavira! Yes, THE GAVI!
He made your relationship official right away because he didn't want rumors and gossip to bother your young relationship. Even though people knew about you, everything about your relationship remains private which is what you both like.
pabloitoo: can't wait to see you today nena :)
minena: me too!! good luck today pablitoo! do you like my fit??
You sent him the photo of you in his jersey which immediately made Pablo's heart flutter and his shorts get tight. He heard other players comment about their girls wearing their jerseys being special, but he was experiencing it for a very first time.
pablitoo: I'm obsessed amor😍
minena: hehe see you tonight ❤️❤️
When the time finally came, you were completely ready getting into your car and driving to the stadium on your own. You met up with Mikky at the stands happy to have someone beside you in all this craziness.
"This is insane!" you said looking around noticing a bunch of people taking photos of you knowing you as 'Gavi's new girlfriend' but you didn't pay them much attention since your man walked up on the pitch.
"You should get used to it, Frenkie told me Pablo is adoring you!" Mikky said and you blushed at the fact that Pablo wasn't shy to tell his friends about your relationship.
"He's really sweet, we're going on our first date today.." you say and Mikky wanted all the details but you said it was all Pablo's surprise and that you were very excited for it.
The game started and it was rougher then usual making you jumpy all the way checking if Pablo will get back up after every push and kick.
"Relax, it's always like this when we play against Getafe" Mikky said but you were still concerned whenever Pablo would fall praying it was nothing serious knowing how much he loves to play.
Right before the end of the first half, Lewandowski scored and you jumped celebrating with Mikky really loving the atmosphere all around you. It really felt like a giant family being on stands.
Soon afterwards it started raining as players retreated from the pitch for the fifteen minute halftime break. Pablo ran to grab his hoodie wearing it before walking out looking up and waving at you.
He knew from the photo you sent that you haven't brought a jacket so he made his way up to give you his hoodie with a cap in case in continues to rain.
"GAVI! GAVI! Give it to me please!! Please!!" fans were swarming around him while security pushed them back letting him pass all the way to you.
"I have to make sure my girl isn't cold, I'm sorry guys!" he said finally taking it off when he was standing in front of you placing it in your hands while you stood their shocked and completely in love with him.
Nobody ever treated you like this before..it was really special.
"T..thank y..you" you were mumbling which he found adorable pulling you close into a hug before pecking your lips making your face completely red while Mikky took a video to send you later.
"Make sure to wear it if it gets cold!" he said and you just nodded unable to speak in this moment and he smirked nodding his head and kissing your forehead before retreating back down.
"You're so in love with each other!!" Mikky said shaking your shoulders and you were giggling putting the hoodie over your head and taking in his strong scent that surrounded you. You put the cap once it started raining again.
The game ended with the same score, and you were complete wet now but very content and proud of your boy. You met with Pablo where you agreed and he giggled when he saw you all wet and smiley.
"Hola, mi amor..you gonna get shy one me again huh??" he smirked and you hit his shoulder reminding him that this is all new for you still and that there were a lot of people.
"We might need to get our dinner delivered because we're both wet now amorcito??" he asked and you giggled nodding your head and taking his hand as he took you to the car.
You came to the apartment, getting changed in some Pablo's clothes before cuddling on the couch waiting for your dinner to arrive.
"I'm sorry we didn't go somewhere special for our first date.." Pablo said caressing your arm and you looked up at him soft brown eyes smiling at his face.
"This is the most special moment in my life..I'm so proud of you for winning..and I have never felt more comfortable than now" you said and he smiled nodding his head and kissing your hair and then your lips. Your moment was interrupted by the door bell and you giggled.
"Comida!!" you jumped and he giggled opening the door and getting the things you ordered before you put them all on the table in the living room sitting down and playing some TV show in the background.
"I'm full! Ugh!" you say tapping your stomach and Pablo giggled opening his arms and you cuddled up to him letting him play with your hair enjoying it very much.
"Have I told you how precious you look in my clothes amor..so tiny" you say putting his hand inside the hoodie you were wearing which was very much HUGE on your small body. You blushed and giggled while nodding your head agreeing with him.
"Will it always be like this Pablito?" you ask and he smiled kissing your nose calling you adorable once again. Little did you know he was falling in love with you all over again in this moment.
"I can't say things will always be easy and that I'll always win when you watch me..but I will always take only you home..and I will love you right..that I can promise princesa" he said and you felt your heart melt and his beautiful words. He was definitely something special..
"You will always be mi campeon Pablito..te amo" you say blushing at the words you used a little scared it was way too soon but his face said a different story.
"Te amo tambien mi nena" he said and you smiled relaxing now and kissing him once more. The rest of the night you cuddled, laughed, watched TV and kissed every once in awhile..what a perfect first date!
Hope you enjoy! Vamooos Barça v Cadiz today!!
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Text
Fallen Order & Survivor Musical Themes
Has anyone done this yet? Here is a comprehensive list of all of the character themes/motifs found in the Jedi: Fallen Order and Survivor video games for anyone interested. I tried to give several examples of each and also included some of my own thoughts. You can listen to many or as few links as you want. If I missed anything please feel free to add on or let me know.
FALLEN ORDER CAL KESTIS - I'm giving Cal two separate sections because I'm pretty positive he now has two separate themes and in attempts to make it less confusing, I've decided to very creatively refer to them as Fallen Order Cal and Survivor Cal. I'm a genius, I know. Fallen Order Cal is consistently heard all over both games. It's his primary theme. It feels young and heroic and wide-eyed... Remember feeling like nothing could touch you when you were young? That's the sort of feeling I get from Fallen Order Cal. It's not happy per se but it's hope and optimism sprinkled with naive youthfulness and an undertone of solemnity. He's been through some serious shit but he's a kid, he's young. The grief and trauma are there for sure but they haven't encompassed him completely. There's still some hope behind those eyes, there's a healing journey to go on, and there's a chance to take on this Empire. It's only until Survivor that the theme starts feeling a little more grounded just like the transition from childhood to adulthood. Fallen Order Cal in Survivor feels a bit less magical, that youthful spirit has diminished, that hope has dwindled.
CAL KESTIS
THE PATH OF THE THREE SAGES
PEACEKEEPERS
A FRONTIER WELCOME
ABOVE THE CLOUDS
A STEP TOO FAR
SURVIVOR CAL KESTIS - So, I originally thought this was a minor key variation of a section of Cal's theme but I've since realized that it technically is a completely separate theme. That being said, thanks to @foxykatie425 in this insanely detailed reply to my frustrations regarding this theme that put what I was hearing into musical terms way out of my element in terms of explaining, I've realized that I may have been somewhat correct. I don't know if the two themes are actually connected, that would be a question for the composers but at the very least, it's definitely a secondary darker theme for Cal as it only ever plays in reference to him and I'd wager a guess that it's the main theme of Survivor as a whole. Compared to Fallen Order Cal, Survivor Cal feels drained, heavy, tired, burdened, and above all else, dark and foreboding. There is a genuine weight to this theme that just feels sinister. There is a hint of Fallen Order Cal there but as that post says, it almost feels like it's on the verge of falling apart. He's not the same man he was five years ago and the fact that this theme is the first thing you hear music-wise in the game and accompanies your very first view of him is an incredible way of subconsciously telling that to your audience right off the bat.
DARK TIMES
ABOVE THE CLOUDS - note: this theme and Fallen Order Cal switch back and forth constantly in this track and I find that so interesting.
NOVA GARON
NIGHTSISTER MERRIN - Merrin's theme is interesting to me because it doesn't sound anything like the type of music you might use to accompany a witch or magic user. It's not necessarily fantastical or whimsical or anything of the sort. In fact, it sounds more like something you might use for a superhero. It's a little bit timid or unsure or even afraid in Fallen Order but god damn has it built in confidence and strength once Survivor rolls around. The only time you hear that sort of timidness to it again is during the first kiss on Jedha which has such interesting implications for her being a nervous wreck in that moment. I also adore how it sounds as an action cue which you hear several times throughout Survivor. It sounds like it comes straight from the best MCU movies and yes, I do mean that as a compliment.
TO DATHOMIR
PEACEKEEPERS
MERRIN
THE WILL OF THE FORCE
TRIDENT
FLIGHT
CAL & MERRIN'S LOVE THEME - Look, I genuinely did not think they would actually go through with making Cal and Merrin canon, I honestly thought they'd chicken-shit out and I was certainly not expecting them to get any sort of love theme if they did but here we are... and we somehow got both. Cal and Merrin are canon and they got a love theme. Holy fucking shit. It just has all that warmth and sweetness of a friend-to-lovers romance too.
FIELDS OF DUSK - ORCHESTRAL VERSION
CAMPFIRE
A STEP TOO FAR
THE ABYSS
BD-1 - I said in my post regarding my thoughts on the Survivor score that these two video game scores are quite possibly the closest we've ever gotten to a John Williams sound from a composer(s) who is in fact, not John Williams. Not that every piece of Star Wars music has to sound like the big man himself, part of the reason The Mandalorian theme was so positively received was that it was such a different sound for Star Wars but I stand by what I said: this is the closest a composer has gotten to a John Williams sound and they have clearly done their research. Some people might not know this but R2 and 3PO have a very small motif heard throughout the films. It's not played very often and is sometimes not very noticeable but it's there and BD-1's motif is not only similar but definitely sounds like it exists within the same universe. I also love that droids are so often musically presented as very childlike, innocent, and mischievous. BD in particular has a very playful energy.
BD-1 AND THE BOGLINGS
MERRIN
THE WILL OF THE FORCE
TRILLA SUNDURI/SECOND SISTER - Trilla's theme legitimately activates my fight or flight response and when I say that, I mean mostly my flight response cause you won't find me messing with this shit. It's very much in lieu of the famous Psycho violins which were written to heighten your senses by emulating screams. I wish we got more of it cause it's intimidating as fuck and a piece of dark side art.
FIGHT AND FLIGHT
TRILLA
THE WILL OF THE FORCE
CERE JUNDA - Don't hate me but I haven't quite fallen in love with Cere's theme yet. That's not to say it's bad by any means, it's absolutely beautiful. It has such a deep melancholy vibe to it, like an inescapable sadness. It almost has a feeling of failure to me weirdly enough.
THE PATH OF THE THREE SAGES
DESERT RUINS
SIEGE
THE VISITOR
ENO CORDOVA - I've mentioned this before but again, for people who might not know: the music that is widely considered to be the main theme of Fallen Order - so much so it was primarily used during the recap at the beginning of Survivor - is Cordova's theme. It's such an interesting artistic choice because I think many people would've made it either Cal's theme or given the entire game its own theme in general. I listen to this one a lot honestly. It's so calming and safe feeling.
THE PATH OF THE THREE SAGES
FAILURE IS NOT THE END
ENO CORDOVA'S THEME
THE NARKIS ANCHORITES
BODE AKUNA - Yes, Bode does have a theme and you know what? It slaps. I really like it. It's very adventurous and feels quite friendly which is ironic as hell. It does get some heart-wrenching renditions nearer to the end of the game. It's the music that swells when he force-pushes Cal and everyone collectively shits themselves. Oh, it also has some dark renditions as well.
ABOVE THE CLOUDS
A STEP TOO FAR
BROTHERS
THROUGH DARKNESS
RAYVIS - As far as I can tell, Rayvis does not have a set theme but he is usually accompanied by high-playing strings and his boss fight music is the best example of that. I actually don't think a lot of Rayvis moments ended up on the score soundtrack which... how dare they.
WARRIORS CODE
DAGAN GERA - I thought Dagan didn't have a theme for the longest time but it turns out he actually does have a tiny motif that I do wish had been more thoroughly realized in the score because it's so menacing and I absolutely love it. It's most prominently heard during his last confrontation with Cal. He is also usually accompanied by low-playing horns. Not always but usually.
RELEASE ME
TO THE RESCUE
GRAND OCULUS
KATA AKUNA - I'm going to rant about this one for a second, okay? I have spent the last few weeks wondering what the hell the melody that plays throughout the track Through Darkness is. I was sitting here plucking out melodies on a piano app (cause I don't own a keyboard) and was like, "Okay, it's not Cal's theme, it's not Bode's theme, it's not Merrin's theme... what the hell is that series of notes??" Yes, I'm aware that not every note has to mean something but these just felt like they did. It's played at such an emotional point in the game and for two scores that already work heavily around themes and motifs and musical ideas, it didn't make sense to me that this little series of notes would mean nothing, especially at such a poignant moment. Funnily enough, it only just occurred to me while making this post that it's fucking Kata's theme. At least I think it is. Well, motif. It's not a fully developed theme but it definitely has the makings of one. That's not even me making a wild guess either, these notes appear in other places in the story that feature Kata.
NOVA GARON
THE ABYSS
THROUGH DARKNESS
GHOST STAR - I'm adding this for fun because I think it's gorgeous and I love it but it leads me to ask: why has there been no official release of Ghost Star? With or without vocals? This is a genuine question. It does not appear on the Cantina album nor is there even a snippet of its melody on the score album. It makes me wonder if the song was maybe added later into production? Trust me, I love the orchestral cover that has been going around and people are obviously seeking it out cause the track has gained thousands of streams in the months since the game was released. It was at 10k the last time I looked on Spotify and it's currently at 24k as of writing this. I'm just genuinely surprised EA/Respawn or hell, even Lucasfilm hasn't capitalized off that.
GHOST STAR
GHOST STAR W/ VOCALS
Thank you most sincerely if you made it all the way here :)
I liked this. I should do this for more scores lol.
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fulcrvm · 1 month
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sneak peek at wip for a dreamling bingo fic i feel particularly proud of so far!! :)
(Unformatted, unedited, but it's retired!Dreamling and established relationship)
“Duck?” Hob raises his voice, not taking his eyes off the door while he grasps around his side table drawer for the wrought iron charm he’s had since the late 1600s, “Are you there?” He’s answered by another rolling waul. It’s a heavy sound, Hob can almost swear he feels it rumbling through the floor. “Do not laugh.”  “What—?” Hob rushes to the door, pressing his ear against it, “Morpheus? Are you okay? Is there—?” “Promise not to laugh, Hob Gadling, this is serious.” Morpheus’ voice sounds weighty, nearly as it did before, but somehow each word reverberates in Hob's skull in a way so alien it nearly makes him wince. Morpheus continues, “Now, could you please open the door.” "Love, what's going on—” The question dies in Hob's mouth when he sees what sits in front of the bedroom door. Or rather, what just darted to his feet as soon as the door was opened.  The purring is the first thing Hob registers. It's the scragliest cat he's ever seen, a skinny thing still the size of a maine coon with an insanely silky, jet black coat of fur. Hob just stares as it immediately starts making rounds around his legs. He crouches down to let the cat sniff at his hand, “Hello, there.” The cat peers at him with a regal air, “Hello, Hob Gadling.” Hob barely just keeps from jumping out of his skin, “Morpheus?!” “Yes, my love,” The cat's— Morpheus?— mouth doesn't move when Hob hears the words, it's as if his partner is somehow projecting his words directly into Hob's poor human brain that really isn't wrapping around this situation quite yet. “I'm beginning to think this spell has affected your memory as well, you can't seem to say anything that is not a question.” “Oh, come on, I think it's perfectly reasonable when I've woken up and found my partner's voice coming from a sodding cat— Murph, why are you…?” Hob frowns, still stoking Morpheus’ head (what, he's surprisingly soft?), “Did someone do this to you?”  Morpheus bristles, turning away with his tail in the air and stomping away to sit by the settee. “...No.” Hob gives up on crouching and sits down, “Then, why…?” He receives the most scathing side-eye he's ever seen from a cat, “I may have... Subjected myself. To this. On accident.” “What?” “I turned myself into a cat. On accident, Hob.” Morpheus staunchly does not meet Hob's eyes, “Happy now?” Hob laughs. 
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