#i'm so fucking desperate for hugs i'm going back to the goddamn *church* in my mind to try and solve it

[ourceliumnetwork]

had a dream where i'd ended up following a group of lads a bit like they were the pied piper, and then had to stop a bit i was doing about pretending i was at a church thing because i got too into it and said we should pass the peace around in a closed room where everyone but me had COVID.

so i'm doing super good and normal about things so far.

[astralnymphh]

i see all of your new requests, but let me post this yapfest first. i wanted to explain my further vision on "the sweeter the wheat" and how post-seattle!ellie just follows the reader around like a puppy and is a fucking #loser. :P

seeking revenge never felt so transformative, inside and outside of the material world. when ellie swore to her blade that it would taste the bitter, briny blood of abby, she never expected such a fallout as the one that befell her in the theater. in the maw of adversity, she failed to quench that blood-promise, and it left her with a few broken things that now surround her in jackson.

her garage quietened to the level of an abandoned church, lacking a dina, a joel, and a heart to laden it with sunlit laughter. her agonies: a ghost you bring back with you that says no word, no whisper, no indications of disgust with that fleshly desire for a second go at the blonde wolf who set her into this cycle, just a silence. something that eroded her thoughts to the bone and made them gnash and scrape against her head in an effort to dig deep for resolve. it brought nothing but regret and punished her into repeated sleep, where yet, she still sorrowed. a laid, humiliatingly tidy hill of bones sorrowed, one of them fractured at the center. forgiveness, fractured.

then there was you, traipsing through the thoroughfare towards the diner she thinks is your new station of operation, but isn't too sure. it was there, she followed many paces behind you, struggling with her weary feet and her slung arm—which dependently embraces her stomach for safety, solace, and health—watching you grow further and further away into the cry of spring light as she gawked on like a dog with a bone. a dog who simply wanted to play a game of catch but fears the look of desperation. maybe she doesn't deserve attention. that was before she even made it inside the diner at all.

it was in you that she sought a temporary resolve, wasting all those temperate, late nights weaving her limbs into you instead of sulking in her own emptiness. ellie's dolour and dejection turned into a sediment; she erased all disgust and question in her gut, and had forgotten what had her in tears weeks before. you're a saint, a goddamn fun person to be around. she likes to laugh with you, at you. she likes to sketch you, paint you. she likes to cook for you—even if hopelessly attempted. she likes to talk about where she might relocate to if given the chance, van life in the apocalypse, perhaps? you tell her everything is far beyond okay, and that she isn't a total loser for taking this long to ask you out but remained a desperate case in her journal and in her sentiments. she likes to hug you, hold you, touch you, even if it makes all those cringy diary entries look like wishes turned true. she likes to kiss you, even if it means she might rise into love with you and accidentally catch you in her never-ending blight.

“i just, um—nevermind. can't take myself seriously when i start to get all sappy, so i better stop before i.. yeah,” her voice became shy again, so to speak, fiddling with her ear nervously. quickly, she made herself useful by reorganizing the pillows so you could lay by her. shuffling onto her side and reaching out that newly-healed arm for you, “c'mon, i'm tired as shit,” elusively laughing.

it's the reason she holds back sometimes.

[brainrotcharacters]

Not A Bother If It’s You

note: Matt is a comfort character, and I'm projecting my anxieties again. If you ain't in the mood for angst comfort, don't mind me. unedited.

ship: college!student!Matt x college!student!reader

summary: college (derogatory)

tags: mutual pining, parents worry about their child's future, angst comfort,

"What's going to happen to you when we're gone?"

If your parents screamed instead, it would have been easier. But we can't have nice things.

"I'd tell you to make room for me in that coffin." you drawled, pouring yourself a glass of alcohol. "I can imagine it's a big one."

Your dad crossed the space, snatching the glass from your hand and chucking it at the far wall. You didn't flinch; you expected it. The pieces of glass sparkled on the floor, the brown liquid spreading like the numbness you pushed into your arms and your legs.

He turned back and grabbed you by the chin. His eyes were bright with fury, but when you looked closer, there was fear. That you were throwing your life away. There was regret that he should've been better.

"Stop fucking around, you understand me?" he lowly said. "I thought you were okay. You said you were okay. I gave you everything I could, your mother and I sacrificed so much for you, and this is the thanks we get?"

If you breathed too deeply, you'd start crying.

"A full scholarship, all these goddamn electronics, and you wanna tap out when you're so close to the end. Help me understand how you became so stupid."

"Not everyone gets the privileges you've been given." your mother's voice was softer, and emphasized the points. "Not everyone is lucky to have both their moms and dads. You would throw away your three years and blame us for your misery."

Your father released you, hands on his waist as he strode away. His broad shoulders rose and fell with the effort of breathing. "I don't- I never blamed you."

Didn't you?

"How will you fend for yourself? Huh?" your father demanded. "Some rich executive asshole is going to walk all over you, and you won't be able to do anything about it because you're an idiot and you're desperate!"

"I have to go." you've been glancing at the door. In as less strides as possible, you grabbed your knife, license to carry, one of Matt's hoodies from the back of a chair, and a piece of cloth to soak with your tears and snot later.

You power walked to the door, where your mother was waiting. "Where are you going?"

"I need to calm down. So do you." you said in a shuddering breath.

Her face twisted into a deeper disapproval. "You, calm down? You don't get to be angry. You betrayed us. You know your dad's telling the truth."

"Please let me go." no, say it louder. Stronger.

Something behind you caught her eye, and she stepped away. You rush out quick, knowing your father was watching the back of your head.

"Why'd you let her go?"

He stared at your form until you were completely out of sight. "The jacket she took. It was Murdock's."

Your mother blinked. "Matthew, the blind kid at law school?"

Your father sighed, and moved away.

Matt was waiting for you on the fifth pew of the church. It was with no small amount of male pride that his hoodie (stolen by, and then given to you) grazed back and forth against your skin as you walked closer to him. "Did you text me while they were talking to you?"

"Before. My dad would have destroyed my phone otherwise."

He scooted over, and you settled down beside him, forehead on the pew in front of you. "Thanks... for making time."

"I keep telling you, it's not a bother if it's you."

The lump in your throat grows. Things would be better if you had the right to Matt's hugs, Matt's kisses, Matt's love, just Matt. If he could think of you and the next word that comes to mind is 'partner', you would have at least one win. The greatest win of them all.

"I wanna fucking die, Matt." you said through a hollow laugh, before a sob slipped out. You ultimately gave up, letting the tear stains form.

Matt heard his own heartbeat quicken. A world with no you, when he hasn’t yet even asked you on an official date? All he would ever have to remember you by was videos and the regret that he was too slow. But this was not a situation where he could mention it. His bullshit can wait until after you feel better. 

"You don't mean that." he tapped your foot with his, voice consistently soft and easy. "I remember you telling me that the next time you say that, I'm supposed to say 'you really just want to kill something inside you'. So?"

You laughed through the tears, seeing him smile proudly to himself. "Smartass."

“I’m just doing what you told me to do.” Matt sighs. "I don't intend to abandon you anytime soon, sweetheart. You know what that means?"

You prompted under your breath. "What, Matt?"

"I mean, I will eliminate anything that I believe puts you and me in danger. Including how this can spiral." he tapped your temple with a finger. "The only way I'll get out of your hair is if you ask it of me. You have to understand that."

You let yourself breathe deeper. "Careful, or I'll start thinking you have a crush on me."

“Bold words from the person wearing my clothes.”

“I don’t have a strong enough defense.“

Matt laughed, and all was right with the world. “We can think of something.”

[xpao-bearx]

《Original post here》

Part 2 HERE

SUMMARY: [Supernatural TWD AU] In which Negan is a kinky incubus, Rick Grimes is your secret guardian angel, and Daryl Dixon is a gruff monster/demon hunter. Three drastically different men who can only agree on one thing: making you theirs.

PAIRINGS: Reader x Negan, Reader x Rick Grimes, Reader x Daryl Dixon (Polyamorous Ships)

RATING: Mature/18+/Romance & Smut. Please be prepared and do NOT report.

NOTE: This is actually my first time ever writing an xReader story series as well as writing on Tumblr (I usually only write on Wattpad). As such, it probs won't be perfect though I would SERIOUSLY appreciate your *respectful* feedback and support!

I understand writing xReader content can get a lil tricky, so please just keep in mind that not everything Y/N says or does would be something that you'd do IRL or even approve of. Also, sometimes I may not help but put a teeny bit of myself in Y/N...

Lastly, I recently got back into the TWD fandom after a looong ass time and I'm taking a while re-watching the whole show. So I apologize in advance if my portrayal of any of the characters are rusty or I may not remember too much of the events from the show, but I promise to do my very best and hope y'all enjoy~!! \(^o^)/

DEDICATED TO: The wonderful @blccdyknuckles and @negans-attagirl 💖

"Heavenly Sins"

Part 1

The sounds of laughter and easygoing chatter filled your ears as you walked closer to the church, a light breeze blowing through your F/C floral dress and the sun blinding your eyes. It was Sunday, most residents of the small town of Alexandria having gathered for mass.

It was a day like any other; peaceful and happy, children giggling and chasing each other around as their parents socialized outside before church could start.

Your heels clacking rhythmically on the pavement, you were just about to enter the building before a familiar voice called out.

"Y/N!"

Spinning, a huge smile instantly reached your ears as you saw none other than Carl Grimes waving enthusiastically at you as he jumped out of a car. From the driver's seat, his father soon followed as he stepped out.

Rick Grimes--dedicated sheriff of this fine town. His usual uniform forgone, instead replaced with a casual navy coloured suit. His baby blues met your E/C, flashing you a bright smile of his own that rivalled the sun itself.

Carl was running towards you now, and once in front he gave you a big hug.

"Settle down, cowboy! It's as if you haven't seen me in forever." You chuckled, ruffling Carl's hair affectionately.

"That's 'cause it did feel like forever." Carl pouted, eventually letting go as he looked up at you.

Before you can reply, Rick patted Carl's head and greeted you. "Hey, Y/N. How are things?" He asked in that endearing Southern accent of his.

"Just fine." You nodded, grinning before you couldn't help but let your gaze wander around a bit. "No Judith?"

It was then that Rick's smile faltered, but just barely. You nearly didn't catch it. "No. She's with her mom."

Rick was divorced from his ex-wife, Lori, after he discovered her cheating on him with his also now ex-bestfriend Shane Walsh. After the divorce, Shane and Lori quickly moved to the neighbouring community of Woodbury together and agreed on joint custody of the kids.

It really made your blood boil; you've interacted with Lori only a few times before so you didn't really have much of an opinion on her...that is, until, you learned what had happened between her and Rick. You knew it wasn't any of your business, but you cared about Rick a lot and he sure as hell didn't deserve to get cheated on.

"Oh." Was all you could say, quite stupidly. Your cheeks reddened, mentally slapping yourself before clearing your throat. "Will I see her in the daycare tomorrow, though?" You were a daycare teacher and even though you loved all of the kids, Judith was your favourite. She was simply such a sweetheart.

Rick nodded, his smile softening. "You got it."

You couldn't continue the conversation as the bells rang, making you jump out of your skin. Carl, noticing this, laughed which made you playfully roll your eyes before slinging an arm around him as all of you went inside.

♡♡♡

You took your place near the back of the church with Carl and Rick. Once everyone was settled and done singing, the service began and Father Gabriel stood on top of the podium. A few minutes into his sermon, the interruption of a motorcycle revving loudly outside sliced through the air. Gabriel flinched in surprise, and it was obvious he was desperately trying to keep his cool. Finally, when it was silent again, you found yourself biting back a smile knowing all too well who had caused the ruckus.

It seems Rick knew, too, judging from how his jaw clenched and his hands turned into tight fists.

The doors were thrown open, making Gabriel flinch once more and some of the congregation turning in the pews to look. But poor Gabriel quickly fumbled with his Bible, raising his voice just a tad to regain their attention.

There was a low whistle accompanying the approaching footsteps, but the congregation did their damn hardest to ignore the latest visitor.

"Damn... I assumed the church would be a lot more welcoming than this." A husky voice whispered, and you at last couldn't hold back as a smile broke through.

"Negan." You whispered back, turning slightly in your seat to see he has taken the spot behind you. His leather clad arms lackadaisically resting on your chair, the musky scent of his cologne invading your senses oh so wonderfully. "Fancy seeing you here."

"What? Is it really that surprising, darlin'?" He grinned, presenting a row of perfectly straight white teeth. "I go to church."

"Not all the time." You pointed out.

"Ah..." He chuckled softly, hazel eyes twinkling. "That's 'cause Father Creepy McGee over there is just that. Creepy. As. Shit."

You bit the inside of your cheeks, suppressing your laughter. True, Gabriel did have his moments, but he wasn't that bad. That didn't change the fact that Negan knew exactly how to tickle your funny bone, though.

He was new to Alexandria. It was a lovely town, but since it was relatively small not a lot of people want to move here not unless it was families looking for their children to grow up in a safe environment. Which was why it was quite a shock to find out that a single man like Negan chose this destination, and even more so when he took everyone aback with his infamous pottymouth and rather inappropriate charisma.

He had moved just a couple of houses down from yours, and you made it your mission to befriend him. Right from the get-go, he had piqued your interest and curiousity. He was different from everyone else--even possessing an air of mystery about him--and that definitely intrigued you. And also, perhaps you were just too nice and didn't want him to feel outcasted. Although, that didn't seem like an issue to him at all.

"Want one?" You were brought back to reality when you saw Negan's hand outstretched with a pack of cigarettes.

"Dude, we're in church." You reprimanded, frowning.

Negan didn't say anything, only cocking a brow and still with that same shit-eating grin. You sighed, finally giving in as you swiftly grabbed one and stashed it away in your purse for later.

"Y/N." You turned to the left, Rick's icy gaze piercing you. "Pay attention."

"R-Right. Sorry..." You mumbled sheepishly.

Carl, who was sitting in the middle of you and Rick, had dozed off. Rick nudged him, but the brunette only groaned softly and snuggled into Rick's chest. Defeated, the sheriff sighed and was just about to listen again to Gabriel before Negan cut in.

"Rick!" Negan purposely raised his voice, knowing it would get a rise out of the other man. "Didn't even see ya there. Howdy, cowboy!"

Rick grimaced, and it looked like he was just going to ignore Negan though he knew that if he did that then Negan would just irritate him even further. "Good to see you, Negan." He forced himself to say.

"Only you can say that while giving me such a deadly side eye, Grimes." Negan snickered. "How have you been? How's the wife?"

Rick flushed, his fists in a tight ball again and it looked like his nails would be digging into his skin. You abruptly swung into action, placing a hand on Rick's own.

"Rick..." You said gently. "It's okay. Calm down."

Rick did, his shoulders drooping as if a heavy weight had been lifted. He can barely pay any attention to Gabriel now, then you suddenly stood up and grabbed Negan's arm.

"We need to talk. Now."

"What, we going for a quickie?" Negan smirked, but that soon faded when he saw your serious expression. He sighed dramatically, reaching his full height as he towered over you before following you out.

At this point, you didn't care if people saw what transpired or would even start gossiping. No one, not even Negan, was allowed to harass Rick. He has helped you through so much shit--more than you'd like to admit--and you at least owed him this much.

Once outside, next to where Negan parked his motorcycle, you exploded. "What the fuck is with you?! You leave Rick alone, or I swear to fucking Christ I will--"

"Woah, woah, woah! Hold your horses, missy!" Negan guffawed, his hands up in mock surrender. "I mean, I like 'em feisty, but goddamn! Watch your fucking language."

"Tch. You're one to talk."

"Did you just scoff at me?" He raised his brows, putting his hands in his pockets as he slowly drew closer to you. A devilish grin tugged at the corners of his mouth, tilting his head slightly. "No one's ever fucking scoffed at me and didn't regret it soon after."

You frowned, letting out a huff as you met his gaze challengingly. "As if you'd do anything to me."

He was silent for several moments before chuckling, leaning back against his motorcycle. "You're right. I have too much of a soft spot for ya." He pulled out a cigarette, lighting it then taking a drag. He drew his head upwards, puffing out the smoke. "Whaddya say we just forgive and forget? I truly am sorry. You can even tell Rick that I am metaphorically down on my goddamn knees begging for forgiveness~"

"I'm not forgiving or forgetting anything until you actually face Rick and apologize yourself." You muttered. And without another word, you spun on your heel and strutted back inside the church with your head held high.

Negan's intent stare lingered where your ass had just been, taking another long drag and letting out a small laugh to himself.

His eyes suddenly glowed a crimson red, a smirk playing on his lips.

Oh, he really did pick a GREAT one.