#i'm so dumb lmao i tried like??? all my mails

[stellamancer]

not necessarily a summary, but a storyline with something too good to be true?? (lmaoo, sorry, i just liked ur nier fic sm, i think u would rock smth like that😔)

LMAO. justice for my nier fic!!! it's good!! i want to say everyone should read it because i do think that but i also don't think it's very representative of my typical work at all.

anyway a story about something that is too good to be true (in the vein of nier fic).

i actually thought that would be too hard to think about but. and honestly, i'm sure there's a fic like this out there already lmao.

so uh. lmao.

cw: character death, yandere (not reader or geto)

reader is a non sorcerer who comes from a rich household, and seeks out the monk suguru geto after they think they've been cursed (which they have). i want to say that they are... anxious during their first meeting; they've heard about this man and how he strikes fear into the hearts of even the most rich and powerful of men.

but when they meet him, he's not only handsome, but cordial to boot. he collects the curse and sends reader on their way without too much fuss once they've paid for his services.

and that would be that if reader didn't keep getting cursed over and over, and they visit geto over and over, and he is not only handsome and cordial, but he's charming, and kind. and reader starts to fall in love with him.

geto can tell too, he's no stranger to people feeling this way about him, and he's not above manipulating the emotions of non-sorcerers if they have stuff he wants (money and curses to harvest), so he plays into it a little. i'm a romantic at heart so i do want to think that maybe he did grow a little fond of them but at the end of the day, they're still. a monkey. :'D

anyway, as reader's visits to geto continue, concerned parties (people they know mostly) start to warn them that he's using them and that he doesn't really care and i want to say that reader dismisses them, but i don't want them to be that dumb, so they kind of take those words into consideration, and like, they can kind of see what people are saying but it's hard to really... stomach when he is just so nice and charming, but in the back of their mind they start to think something is wrong, but at the same time they. don't want to think about it because it really does feel like geto really cares about them.

anyway, things really come to a head when the person who has been cursing reader finally goes off the deep end and they try to just kill reader. maybe they're a suitor reader turned down who has finally decided if they can't have reader then no one can. they start chasing after reader and reader calls geto for help, but it goes to voice mail. and not like... after ringing a bunch of times, it goes to voice mail in the way that you can tell someone just sent you to voice mail

and at that moment reader realizes geto never really cared for them at all.

the suitor catches reader and drags them to an alley to kill them and after they think they've done it (reader is dying but not actively dead) they realize what they've done and try and scamper off

but.

geto actually does show up and he kills the suitor then and there. very mercilessly and then

Footsteps, soft yet scratchy against the asphalt approach your bleeding body. You try and turn your head to look, but you can't seem to get your body to listen, to obey. The sound stops and the person squats down, moving so that they enter your field of vision. It's Geto. Your lips twitch as a smile tries to make it's way onto your face. "...so you came after all." "...did you think I wouldn't?" he asks and you wonder if you're imagining his voice sounding gentle. You must be; he has no need to be paying you any sort of lip service any more, not with you at death's door. "...I don't... have anything to offer." It's a struggle to even speak, but you would hate to leave his questions unanswered when he came all this way. His gaze is unreadable as he stares at you, then, after a moment, he tilts his head and frowns. "No... I suppose not." You let out a weak chuckle. "...sorry to have wasted your time." If this were back at his compound, or perhaps if he even felt a fraction of emotion toward you, you think he'd be kind and tell you that it wasn't a waste. But he says nothing, his silence speaking the truth of how he feels. What a fool you've been. Not that it matters now. "...in my bag... I think i have about... five hundred thousand yen," you say slowly. "...is that enough... to ask for you to embrace me?" Geto frowns, disgust marring his handsome features. "...sorry," you mumble. Your eyes are staring to feel heavy, your thoughts growing more and more blurry. "I just... wanted you to hold me... even just..." Your time runs out before you finish your sentence, before you can feel Geto's fingers brush against the fading warmth of your cheek. Hours later, when your body is found, your personal effects are found along side you. Untouched and undisturbed.

[send me a summary or premise of a fic you'd like to see me write]

[weebsinstash]

Wow the "conclusion" to this is wild. Lmao @ her saying that she'll look at your blog in the future to feel better about herself. Hobbyless behavior. Sorry you got all of that shit for months, it's just so fucking bizarre. I really love your writing and your blog and I hope despite all of that shit that you're having a good day 💕

I'm just like. Kind of sitting here wondering what the point even was.

Like literally at the core of this argument was i posted about a family event and a complete stranger got so extremely upset that they. Literally started a fight on anon, and then after I told them to get fucked, then proceeded to pretend to be an underage rape survivor and said I made them attempt suicide, and then messaged TONS of people saying "weebsinstash is a rape apologist who bullied cjfjfj" and it was literally all a fucking lie. They want to say they bullied me for entertainment but what was rhe point of like. Harassing dozens of other people who weren't even involved. That's obviously not when anything to do with me. That's acting like a freak because you think it's Cute And Quirky

Like. I cannot emphasize enough that the hypothetical child who harmed themselves was the literal only single aspect of this entire thing that could even mildly make me feel bad and this actually stupid fucking cunt gave themselves up, "oh by the way that person was never real" like, damn if you were an actual good troll you never would've revealed that, so you can't even be a little basement dweller correctly

Imagine being like "yeah you know the literal only thing about this that might actually cause you some sort of guilt and was the crux of my whole crusade against you lol yeah it was just a lie and the friends who apologized on my behalf were also me and the people who were nice to you were also me" like wow you were OBSESSED OBSESSED

But there's also so many more layers to that? They made blogs and maintained them to talk to me pretending to be people who were also harassed. They literally gave me emotional support as a "gotcha"? Like how is that a gag. Do you not realize repeatedly popping out of the woodwork saying "hey every mean thing that was said to you over xyz amount of months was me all along" has literally just trained me to automatically blame you for any bad feedback and thus you have granted me the ability to be insulted and not care. Like literally any time I get an ask about anything and it's rude I just assume it's this one single person now. And I don't get hate mail so it was always kind of obvious anyways. But like they literallt actually gave me a gift because I won't really ever believe anything nasty I get ever again :)

But like. The sheer. Actual literal disconnect from reality for this person to fully say with their whole chest, "ha ha yeah I really showed YOU and made YOU look stupid, the way I pretended to be a child, lied about rape, publicly harassed complete strangers, tried to doxx you, made a fake dating profile for you, uploaded your photos in multiple places, sent you stuff on anon to take credit for it later, and maintained disguises for most of a year, haha wow don't YOU look dumb!"

Bro after like one month of this shit I literally just started thinking, "oh it's that one moron again" and nothing was ever hurtful ever again. You have to realize there's a point where someone has made themselves look so stupid and unlikeable you don't care what they think so it's sort of like. Oh woo hoo you called me ugly and fat, got any new material? Like I don't even have to think "oh gosh I'm so ugly and gross and I feel bad cause they said that" I just think "oh wow potshots at my appearance, yeah that's what I would expect someone of your intelligence to say"

I just. Can I just be blunt and say this wasn't even good trolling. It was annoying but they were so blatantly bad at it literally everyone just looked at the kind of shit they posted and immediately called them unhinged. There wasn't a coherent enough effort here to ever actually do any real damage, not to my personal life or my social reputation. I'm literally coming out of this just as clean as I went in. Like shit you really could have tried to dig in on that "look what she said to this poor widdle baby" angle but you just went full retard sending me literal actual paragraphs saying the most basic of insults. Yeah wow there was really ever a chance people were going to seriously believe you, sure

It's just kinda. Yeah. I know I already said this but I can't get over, my end of this is opening my inbox and deleting shit and nothing more, i may answer stuff and discuss it but nothing is happening to me and im not "doing anything back". Meanwhile they were literally making blogs, maintaining covers, trying to stalk me, stalking my mutuals, found pictures of my family, were sending pictures of my family to other people.... but claim THEY made ME look stupid, that I'M entertaining for THEM. OK. I guess that's the level of genuine delusion you have to operate on to even start this shit to begin with

But uh yeah to finish your point I actually had a great day at work and got a good raise recently so I'm doing OK :) I've been uh, you know, working on drafts and maybe someday one of them will see the light haha. If I ever need a pick me up I can always tell myself, "at least I never did anything as stupid as THIS"

[goosemagician]

Oh also https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5TUOAr8oDXuC1PsvxH53Sp

I made another playlist but this time it's dedicated rather than inspired (ngl I interpret your au as very angsty so there's a lot of rgb and hero angst songs in there whoop)

I don't even know if it's obvious why i chose most of the songs i did lmao but they all relate to them in some capacity

Also the song "Soup Song" feels fitting to them for some reason like

"Your name is an anagram and mine is a joke"

"People ask me why you’re acting so strange, and I say I don’t know"

And "My backpack’s full of hate mail that makes me want to cry" and "I hate you and I loved you for a very long time" especially like-

Feels like how hero might act under the influence of hate (if it even works like that, i always imagined it as hate making hero despise rgb or strengthening those thoughts she might've had when she was younger)

And then some of it being rgb like "The shoes I bought you crunched my necklace" or "I wish that I was lovable like a warm cup of soup... I try to be lovable like a warm cup of soup"

I'm not crazy right this kinda fits

Lmao

Oh shoot this ask got very long, much sorry

The angst and sheer family feels in this au just kills me in a very good way

aaaAAAAALDSJFKLD YESSS

this is so so SO SO GOOOOD THANK YOU FOR SHARING

This accidentally turned into a whole essay so it's under the cut if you'd like to read just so many words of excitement about characters

The combination of Angst/Family in this AU is STRONG, and that Hate and Hero interpretation is SPOT ON. It's what Hero fears the most about Hate. She spends a lot of the (eventual) story telling herself that all of the anger and sadness and trauma just marinating inside her and causing her to lash out is because of Hate herself, but Hate explicitly tells her that "It's all you. Everything. All the anger, the regret, the guilt, the Hatred. I'm just a magnifying glass."

The Soup Song is actually SUCH a perfect song for them, and especially Hero with "If I had the tendency to yell your ears would be numb. If I had it in me to tell you off you would be done. I'm not used to feeling so down and so dumb." She doesn't WANT to be mad at RGB, and she Hates the part of herself that IS, so she tries to ignore it entirely. (Spoiler alert! It Does Not Go Well.)

She loves RGB SO much but there's a part of her that is just SO mad at him for dragging her into this. Emotions are complicated, and she's the master of feeling two things at once. She understands his motive, and even sympathizes with him, but that doesn't change the fact that she wishes he hadn't. But then again, if he hadn't, she never would've known him at all, and she is in fact extremely grateful to know him and LOVE him as both a friend, and as a father figure.

They're So similar and So different at the same time and it's just...AUUUGH

There's an animatic I have planned from the radio drama "Dangerously Yours," where Hero's in her Knight form, but she's also very clearly not just parroting Hate. She's saying stuff and it's coming from her HEART, and it TERRIFIES her. She feels betrayed, and lied to, and conned, but she also LOVES him and how he's cared for her and tried SO SO HARD to make up for all that he's done and for bringing her here in the first place.

The Hero Knight thingy is basically a way for Hero to finally voice everything she's been trying so hard to keep in and under control. If you've ever seen Steven Universe Future, you know that cactus episode, where Steven talks to the cactus about all his feelings and problems but then the cactus gets out of control and Steven ends up fighting it in front of the people he loves, but also has complicated feelings about. (I'm aware of how strange this sounds if you've never seen it, but just trust me). Hero NEEDS to let all the contempt, and guilt, and regret, and, yes, Hate, go, but there's no way in hell she would do that on her own, so...Hero Knight!

It's pretty much just a glorified version of me shoving them into a locked room, shaking them violently, and saying "TALK ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS"

There's a line in that radio drama that I LOVE for this AU, and it's "You forget how close Hate is to Love."

They have to fight with themselves and each other OFTEN, but in the end, they just want the other to be alright. They want to PROTECT each other, and BE THERE for each other, because RGB shouldn't have had to beg for another chance, and Hero shouldn't have had to help him try to save the world. Their situation is SO unfair, and they both know it.

They both have things they despise themselves for, as well. Hero Hates herself for not saving the world and, in her eyes, letting RGB down. He needed a Hero, and she couldn't save him, or anyone else for that matter. RGB Hates himself for dragging all those people, but most of all Hero, into this whole mess. He wishes he would have just given up, but he didn't. He fought, but did so in the most clever but cowardly way a person could, and others paid the price HE should have paid.

This AU is about the characters working through their flaws and the complexity of emotions. "When you first revealed your betrayal by first reaction was 'how dare you rob me of my trust?' But not even this would be able to shake out foundation 'cause it was created by us." (My Heart Still Beats--Marina Mena). Hero and RGB have been through SO MUCH together, and the bond that they share, despite the undercurrent of other feelings that may reside there, is something truly special. they LOVE each other, and nothing can change that. "It hurts but I'm not about to give you up" (same song).

In short--This playlist is AWESOME and I love EVERY SINGLE SONG CHOICE AAAAAAAAAA <3 <3 <3

[odannygirl7]

okay, so, like, I literally wasn't going to deal with my mom dying and stuff, cause, like, my uncle was handling it and seemed pretty clear on there not being anything. even tho I'm like 'well, technically I should have been at least told and given a chance to decide stuff, nevermind about any inheriting nonsense' lmao. whatever. and then I saw that they entirely left me out of the obituary.

like, wow, fucking rude. so I messaged my cousin again like 'hey any updates, does anyone need to contact me or anything like that' and she said that she thought they were doing probate so I should probably get a lawyer or contact someone and she tried to get them to put me into the obit and that my uncle is pissed it cost him $4k to get her cremated and mailed back and also said he was going to send me a letter (which is sus, like I assume he knows I needed to be told).

so I'm like 'okay, I'm gonna play dumb, not mention talking to you (cousin) at all, don't want to cause drama there, call the funeral home and see where they direct me'

so I call the funeral home and I'm like 'hey, I saw my mother's obit online. I didn't know she died, no one told me.' and the poor woman on the phone was like 'oh no' lol and 'you're her child? we were told there weren't any children. you should have been contacted.' and I had to assure her that I didn't blame her or the funeral home, they couldn't have known and she said that she was going to talk to the main funeral guy and apologizing left and right and then she put me in contact with a probate attorney they recommend.

I call up the attorney and she knew my mother, like on a friendly basis. so fucking bizarre. and we're talking and she's got really similar fucked up parental relationships and stuff. and she's asking if I can come down to flordia and go through the house and there's no way to do that, but she's fine with that, she's gonna investigate, check the house out, maybe send her paralegals, and I do not know what the house is like, I don't know how much of a mess or whatever, but it has to be dealt with and sold or given back to the bank or whatever.

and I told her, like, I don't have money, I can't be out of pocket for, like, anything... but she seemed pretty understanding and that she'd deal with it out of the estate.

so now there's all this nonsense for me to deal with, but, like, unless she disowned me or had a will about this stuff... legally my uncle should have passed it to me to deal with in the first place.

[hydine]

Strong language ahead, venting about personal stuff. Please skip, if not interested or concerned.

German part of my family be like "Ayy, we gon' treat ya like filthy peasants for 30+ years but if you don't keep contact at least once a week ur friggin assholes who don' care shit abt family and we gon' call yo fat ass out on that lmao"

Like seriously, that part of my shitass family is just fucking abusive. They're dead to me anyways, but how many times has my mom, who still is trying to be friendly with them, tried to get in touch and visit over the course of HALF A FUCKING YEAR. And it's always been "Oh no, not now, I'm busy" or "No, not today, you can't come, call again whenever". And my mom is busy, too, SHE'S GOT A FRIGGIN LIFE.

AND NOW we get a piece of paper in our mail, saying "what have we done to you?"

Seriously? SERIOUSLY???

Which dumbass shat in their brain for them to write that bullshit.

Just two examples of WHAT THEY FUCKING DID TO US IN THE PAST:

I don't remember when exactly, I think 2 years ago? My grandma called me on my birthday, wishing me a happy birthday, please visit soon, would be nice to see you, yadda yadda. I thought "oh, what a nice call, that makes me happy". Then I realized she forgot to hang up and I went to eavesdropping. Her daughter, who is always preaching about family and being social ALL THE FUCKING TIME, was sitting next to her for the ENTIRETY of the call and didn't even bother to say happy birthday to me. Anyways as soon as the call should have ended THEY BOTH, my grandma and her daughter, started telling shit about me, how I'm mentally disturbed and my mom is rude and antisocial and I'm the same and how it's wrong, I'm not even sitting with my visitors on my birthday (how would they know tho, I had no visitors lol), we would only care about money and never about family, yadda yadda yadda. That was the moment where they all died for me, the whole fucking clan. I was hurt, I still am, and whenever I tried telling them that this hurt me so fucking much they belittle it, they never meant it that way or they just flat out deny they ever were talking that shit, I mist be imagining things (remember, they called me mentally disturbed lol)

Let me tell you that wasn't the first time they pulled off that kind of bullshit, but I plan for it to be the last time, because personally I'm just fed up with them assholes.

Then we have the second example with my mom. Some background knowledge, my mom is not German, she's a Filipina, but has been living in Germany for the last almost 40 years. She didn't have the chance on a long happy marriage as my father died 1992 and left her with two children, age 6 and age 2. True enough, my German grandparents tried to help out and took care of me. My grandfather who cared a lot for me died only 6 years later. I remember I was passed back and forth between my German grandma, my aunt (my mom's sister) and my mother. My mother and my aunt, of course, went to work everyday, my brother and I had to be fed somehow. My mom is mostly self-trained in anything, she's not perfect, she's a strong personality and a lot of times I hate her guts, which should tell you a lot about how difficult she can be. So she was never really accepted on the German side of the family, but I can also say that she was never even given a chance just because she's a Filipina. They've always been thinking she was dumb and I don't think that will ever change.

Anyway the shit my family was pulling was, iirc, somewhen in summer this year (2018)? My mom got contacted by the family, she was invited for a casual meet up in the city for lunch, she was happy because yay, maybe they would finally accept her. WELL NO, OF COURSE THEY WOULDN'T. They deliberately told her the wrong time to show up and she was very disappointed and hurt about that, when she got there at the appointed time and was told that the people she was asking for were already finished and have left. BUT THAT'S NOT ALL. The next time they met her in a supermarket and they were YELLING and pulling her on her arm why she didn't show up when they had invited her. My mom yelled back that she was told the wrong time, that it wasn't even her fault, but the clan - once again - wasn't having it. They denied everything and told my mom that she must be delusional.

Those were only two examples of the freaking bullshit my bitchass German family pulled on me and my mom. Stretch that to 30+ years and think of the damage it did to me and my closer family (mother, brother, aunt). I've been trying to cut off the strings since years by now, to no avail. They know no boundaries and will always smash their opinions and accusations right into your face and if you don't agree with them, you're mentally disturbed and delusional and you're imagining things because you're antisocial.

Don't even try to tell me that their behavior is not emotionally abusive, I dare you.