#i'm running out of tags. i'll probably post about this more tbh idk if it can really be called an au but. it's a thing

[kumakuma-circus]

follow-up to this post with an important amendment: eevee wild cards.

persona q more like persona v(ee)-

[eyelessfaces]

uncalled for

summary: you get quite upset when poe "saves" your assigned mission by giving orders to your teams without consulting you; poe is determined to fix his mistake.

warnings: (public) arguing, talks of the future; family and having kids

tags: gn!reader, angst, being parents to bb8, fluff, this ends up being real sweet tbh

word count: 1.7k

masterlist | taglist | ao3

updates blog: @eyelessupdates

(uh yeah I'm back if you even noticed I was gone lol. I might just post this and disappear again for a little longer idk but anyways I'll explain the reason whenever I'm back for good; I'm okay don't worry, and I'm still gonna post fics don't worry it's nothing too serious fr)

It causes a disruption when you both barge into the hangar; despite the constant clattering and whirring of tools and material there, both your bitter shoutings have been overlapping the sounds ever since Poe started following you closely, right from the moment you hastily jumped out of your x wing to try to forget about the awful management of your mission that would probably cost you to never get to lead one again. 

“It was my call, not yours” you affirm bitterly, voice dripping with resentment, your steps heavy and hurried as you try to shake Poe off but he is anything if not persevering, so it only manages to piss you off even more and fuel your frustration. “I didn’t need you to save my mission or whatever,” you exclaim, causing heads to turn as you walk across the large room, barely minding what is going on around you. 

“I did because I knew it would work!” Poe tries to explain, still heeling you closely. “I wouldn’t have done it if I wasn’t sure it would be successful” he declares louder than he needs to, thrown off when you suddenly stop in your steps, turning to him.

“So you think you can make decisions for me? You think I can’t do it, can’t command a mission correctly?” you rhetorically ask, revolted, sighing a profanity under your breath before you storm off again, your steps resonating with frustration. Poe sighs and winces before he follows you again, taking a hold of your arm.

“Babe come on you know that’s not–”

You stop again, your patience running short. “You had no right to encroach on my orders, I knew what I had to do, and you stepping in with your own instructions could have blown the whole mission up!” you call out, pressing a finger to his chest. 

It’s when you finally take a moment to take a look at his face that you realize it, what is going on; you are being the center of attention, the little show everyone stopped their current task to sit and watch, your every word carefully awaited by your unwanted audience. 

You sigh softly, taking a moment to step back from the situation. “Now leave me alone before we embarrass ourselves further or before I tell you things I don’t really mean just because I’m angry and don’t wanna talk to you” you hiss softly before leaving Poe in the middle of the busy room where he watches you walk away, helplessly standing there. 

When he looks around him, most people turn away and avert their gazes to pretend they haven’t witnessed anything, and Poe is well too aware of the tension still lingering in the air even as you exit the room.

When Jessika climbs down from her ladder after watching the scene from her cockpit, BB-8 rolls over to her and chirps sadly, having observed yours and Poe’s argument from afar just like most of the hangar after his master went running after you. She kneels down to the droid’s level, giving him a sympathetic smile.

“That’s gonna be fine Beebs, they always end up figuring it out somehow” she affirms as the droid’s upper part sinks in distress accompanied by saddened beeps. Jessika can’t help but smile fondly at him and his obvious concern, at the fact that he quite literally acts like you are his parents.

—

A few hours have passed when Poe joins you again; you don't notice him at first, having made sure to get focused enough on your paperwork to forget about the whole situation and try to ease the frustration within you. It's only when you put your datapad down that you see him leaning against the door frame.

“You're so pretty when you're focused” he smiles gently when your eyes meet his figure, causing you to roll your eyes and reluctantly smile at his words despite your lingering frustration. 

“I’m still mad at you,” you sigh softly as you try to hide your slight smirk, gaze darting back down to enter numbers into your datapad.

He acknowledges your feelings with a nod, his lips pressed together in a tight line. “I know.” he admits, stepping into the room. “That’s why I’m here” You look back up at him, taking a deep breath as you set your datapad aside; despite the fact that everything he did since you wrapped your mission up got on your nerves, deep down you only wish for this to situation to get figured out and eventually be behind the both of you. You join him in front of your desk, leaning against it.

“I knew what I was doing. I was handling it” you affirm before he even gets the chance to do so much as open his mouth.

He holds a hand up to slow you down. “I know,” he nods understandingly. “I shouldn’t have redirected the plan, I should have trusted you. I was just afraid things would go wrong considering how it was all starting to go down so quickly” he explains. “I know I could have fucked it all up, everything you put in place so the mission could go right” you slightly tilt your head to the side in agreement. 

“And I know my move was probably a lot more dangerous than the plan you had in mind to make everything right but you know I would never put you or our teams in danger, only myself” he declares with a concerned nod, causing your expression to soften. “You, never. I would never risk it, no matter what” there’s a soft frown over his face as his eyes flicker with sincerity, his confession making your heart ache as it hangs in the air before he talks again. “And I never doubted your ability to command a mission.” 

You nod with a heavy sigh, acknowledging his apology. “I should apologize too. I shouldn't have lashed out on you like that either.” you admit and nod sheepishly, reflecting on your impulsive behavior. “I really wanted this mission to go right”

“For what it’s worth,” he starts with a small smile, trying to dissimulate a bigger one. “I talked about it with Leia and she thinks you did pretty good” his declaration doesn’t fail to draw an appreciative smile from you, one that makes him mirror your action. “And she thinks we would work great together”

“And I agree,” you reply, finally feeling a weight lift off your shoulders as the tension between you begins to dissipate. “We do make a good team.”

Poe’s smile widens, relieved to see you loosen up a bit. “Yeah, we do” he agrees with a small huff, stepping closer to you. “I just hate seeing you so worked up.”

You chuckle softly, shaking your head. “I hate getting worked up,” you scoff. 

“I’ll try to think about it twice next time,” Poe promises, reaching out to gently take your hand in his. “I don’t want to step on your toes or make you feel like I don’t trust you or your judgment.”

Your fingers intertwine with his, the warmth of his touch calming you further. “Well I’ll try not to snap at you,” you promise in return, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze as you let your head rest against his chest with a small, barely audible sigh. “Especially not in front of everyone,” you mutter, earning an amused chuckle from him. You melt into his touch as he leans to press a gentle kiss over your forehead, his hand that is not holding yours coming to wrap around you.

It is only after you pull away from his embrace and leave a chaste kiss to his lips that the corner of your eye notices a sort of spy in the corner of the door frame.

“What’s he doing here” 

Poe frowns before he turns around, huffing out a laugh when he notices BB-8 peeking out the door. “How long have you been here?” he jokingly scolds his droid that fully reveals himself now that he has been caught. “You know he doesn’t like when we fight” he softly sighs turning back to you, a mix of amusement and concern in his eyes before he looks at BB rolling over the both of you.

You shake your head, unable to suppress your smile at BB-8’s presence. “Very sweet of him to be looking out for us,” you start, reaching out to pat the droid’s dome affectionately. “But maybe he should learn not to eavesdrop.”

BB-8 chirps playfully, obviously pleased with the attention, seemingly eager to be a part of the reconciliation.

Poe chuckles, kneeling down to scratch behind BB-8’s sensor with a fond smile. “Yeah, yeah, we’ll work on that,” he says before glancing back at you with a soft smile. “He's our kid, he’s been worried sick about us, weren't you?” he turns to BB, who's beeping frantically in agreement.

You glance at him, then back at Poe, a softness settling in your chest at the sight of them together, your little family. “Our first kid, yeah” you smile softly, heart fluttering inside your chest.

“First? Meaning there's gonna be more?” Poe asks with a playful smile, getting back on his feet. He raises his eyebrows as he awaits your response, and you both laugh at the sudden change of atmosphere as Poe wraps a hand around you before pressing a kiss to your temple.

You huff out a laugh at his quick jump to conclusion, “I don't know, you're a pretty good dad to this one,” you shrug.

“A couple hours ago I was dead to you and now we're talking having kids” he laughs into your hair, a teasing tone in his voice. 

“You weren’t even close to being dead to me, you’re so dramatic Poe” you declare with a small scoff, poking his chest lightly. “That’s the reason Beebs loves you so much” you tease, making him huff out a laugh. “I’d say we should focus on surviving one parenting experience first,” you chuckle looking down at BB-8, nudging Poe playfully. “But who knows what the future holds?”

Poe grins, his eyes sparkling with excitement as his arm grasps tighter around his hold on you. “As long as I have you by my side, I'm up for anything babe.”

—

reblogs and feedback are extremely (I cannot stress this enough) appreciated!!

star wars masterlist: @lockleysgrl @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @alexxavicry @mystinky-butt @anightshift @whatthefishh @dameronshandholder @campingwiththecharmings @mintgreen24 @spider-starry @jakecockley @cocodiem @spxctorsslxt @friedwings @luxisluxurious @stvnnie @dowbastan @il0vebeingdelulu @hammerhead96 @unear7hly

[winteriron-trash]

pinned faq

hi, my name is roman. i used to be a semi-popular winteriron blog, but now this blog is mostly dead. so. rip, gone but not forgotten. but i still get some pretty common questions so here's a one-stop shop for most of them as well as links to the important things.

My Tumblr Fic Masterlist

My Ao3

My (dead) WinterIron Discord Server

Did you write the Tony Stark wifi tower fic?

yes, i wrote that fic! it is by far the most popular thing i've ever written and it will probably outlive me.

I found that fic on [insert site here], do they have your permission?

probably not, no. i have found that fic everywhere. and i mean everywhere. pinterest, wattpad, facebook, instagram, tiktok, mediachomp, and so on. honestly, it's been years and i can't control or chase down every single copy and i have no interest in doing so. i don't love that it was stolen from me (especially on for-profit sites) but it just is what it is. it's a fanfic rite of passage to have your stuff stolen, honestly.

can i do a translation/podfic/write something inspired by one of your fics/posts?

yes! there is always a blanket permission to do any sort of transformative work with my work, especially my older stuff. if it sparks joy and creativity in you, run wild with it. i prefer to be credited, but honestly, i'm just happy to see my stuff still inspiring people.

will you ever write winteriron/mcu fanfic again?

well, you should never say never. but in this case, you might want to say never. i have very little interest in winteriron or the mcu in general outside of nostalgia, and i likely will never write anything substantial for them again. it's sad, i miss it too, but i just don't have that spark for marvel these days. mostly i write dc comics fanfiction.

did you write [insert winteriron fic/post here]?

idk. maybe. probably. i wrote and posted a lot of things. you can scroll the tag on this blog to find all my old posts, some more popular than others. if you think it was me, chances are, it probably was. i got around a lot from like 2018 to 2020.

do you have a tagging system?

i used to but lord if i'm going to use it now. i don't even remember it, so your guess is as good as mine. tbh i just use tags as a place to ramble these days so navigating my blog is about as easy for you as it is for me. which is to say, it's not easy at all. because tumblr's search function is ass. i do know one of my old tags has my deadname in it. you'll probably find it if you look hard enough, but that is what it is.

are you going to revive this blog?

probably not consistently, no. if i have something i really want to say here, i'll say it, but i don't have much interest in maintaining this like i used to. i want to be able to, i miss posting here a lot, i just don't think it'll spark joy for me the way it used to, which sucks but that's just the way things go.

why did you leave this blog?

idk. life happened. i was an 18-year-old fighting chronic health conditions and mental health issues that led to me dropping out of high school so, tumblr sort of fell to the back burner, then got forgotten about entirely. eventually, i lost interest in the mcu as i felt the quality of it took a turn for the worst and i went back to dc, which i'm still into. i read some marvel comics, enjoy an occasional mcu project, but largely i just don't have the interest i used to. it sucks and i miss it, this blog probably kept me alive as a teenager. but now it's mostly just an archive of my past, and i'm okay with that.

can i talk to you/send you an ask/befriend you anyway?

sure, if you want, don't know if i'm good company though. but i'm always open to making friends and reminiscing about winteriron, marvel, and all that good stuff. i've gotta warn you though, tumblr fucking eats my DMs on this blog like no fucking business. i'm regularly fighting it. my discord is devilbonesofmetal if you wanna yell at me there, just say you're from tumblr.

[maythearo]

Hi, I saw your drawings of JamiKali Spider-Man AU, and I LOVED IT!!

How is this AU? And what do you think of JamiKali's Shipp?

OH you just reminded me to add the tag for this AU on other previous posts where I was chatting about it with ppl who sent me asks! The general tag for my blog is ".twst into the spider verse" if you want to check mine and other people's ideas on it in more detail over there!

Second question first: I'm not really into shipping im general, so idk, I don't think about JamiKali much tbh skdndwknd 🏃

And for the first question I'll take this ask as an opportunity to sum up some hcs I have for this AU 👍 but some important notes first:

I personally rather imagine this AU as a magicless/not-so-magic-central kinda world just for simplicity sake, but the rest of twst og lore pretty much remains the same.

I just talk abt scarabia here bcs they are my faves!

Since what inspired me to ramble about this AU was across the spider-verse, I do make a brief mention canon events and a bit of multiverse stuff

Also there is major character death here 🧍

Scarabia into the spider-verse, headcanons under the cut!

Earth 2506 - Kalim as the spider-man of his dimension. Can also be referred to as the desert-spider!

uhh (making up an origin story on the spot right now) considering he comes from a family of influential merchants, maybe they got a great deal to partner up with some sort of scientific corporation, to deal with the business side of their new technologies. Kalim was for the first time invited to one of the meetings, as the heir to the family business, it was about time for him to check in person how things worked on this field. In short, it did not end well. As they walked around the corporation's main labs, one spider subject went loose, and Kalim stood right under its web.

he's very fitting to be a spidey, considering his happy-go-lucky personality, he'd be the type of spider-man to mess around and have a lot of fun playing the role of a hero

(Fight goes silent)

Kalim: well! that was another easy adventure for spider ma-

(Big explosion)

Jamil is the first one to know about this secret identity of course. He covers up any potential slips, as to not reveal this secret to anyone else

One notable thing about spider-man!Kalim is that he can afford whatever hero gadgets he needs. Gotta fix his web shooters? Want a nice improvement on his hero constume? No problem. He got a fair share of contacts from people who'd easily do all of these for him. Even though it is Jamil the one who usually runs after this stuff in his place...

Canon event stuff being losing a best friend? Jamil in this universe actually becomes Venom (maybe he found a symbiote from the same lab the spider came from) and yeah they had to fight. Jamil probably snapped for the same reasons he got his overblot. And this is the part where Kalim learns that with great powers comes great responsibility...

What would happen next? Does he move on eventually after the fight? Will there be other villains for spider-man to stop? How will he keep the secret identity now that Jamil's gone? Well, these are great questions, because- (runs away)

Earth 1209 - Jamil as the spider-man of his dimension. Idk if he'd go by any other variant of a spider-man name

Now that I think about it, his own universe is probably an accidental breach from Kalim's. As in "what if Kalim didn't get bitten at the lab, and instead brought the radioactive spider back home by accident?" then when Jamil took Kalim's backpack he was the one to get bitten instead

Ace happened to be the first one to find out about Jamil's powers after an incident on a basketball game. Their dynamic is funny. It's not like Ace wants to be the "guy in the chair" but if Jamil's secret identity is ever at risk, he'd volunteer to help, no questions asked. And aside from him, Najma is the only other person who knows about this as well. The very moment spider-man made his first appearance in public she knew! She says it's a "sister instinct", or something like that. She'd even offer to help him and make him a proper hero uniform... but ONLY if he agrees to do all the house chores for her for a month.

Najma: you gotta say it first :)

Jamil: (sigh) callforbackup

Najma: what? :)

Jamil: .......callforbackup

Najma: come onn :)

Jamil: PLEASE just call for-

Najma: yeah I already called it :)

Perhaps spider-man!Jamil has a puppeteer-like skill that he can use to control a small number of people with his webs!

Leona could be a mentor type of character in this universe. Like Jamil already kinda looks up to him in canon, but this time they are a little nicer to each other loll and I only bring this up because there is no "uncle Ben" for Jamil to lose, but Leona is the closest thing he could have to one, so...... canon event. That also ties up to that spider-man story trope of the hero finding himself in the wrong place wrong time, by the side of the person they just lost, only for a third party to walk in and assume it was spider-man the one who killed them. Having people assume this masked man to have killed a person as prestigious as Leona immediately makes spider-man public enemy #1

And edit: just remembered the point abouve could be Kalim alternatively. Which would be even more tragic to think both Jamil and Kalim lose each other in their respective universes

But what do we do after that? How does Jamil redeem himself after this misunderstanding? What if he just gives up being spider-man? Well, uhhh these are also good questions.... look over there! (runs away again)

[spyroforlife]

23!

23.What work of yours would you like to have the biggest impact on the fandom?

Ooh.. tbh that's a tough one because I don't necessarily WANT to have a big impact on fandom at all, I'm just out to write self-indulgent lil things I enjoy and hopefully get feedback from people who come across my writing and also enjoy it, I write for myself but I also love discussing my works with others.

Storytime but I once had a very impactful fanfic, though this was while I was in the Gravity Falls fandom and it was midway through season 2, a VERY active time to be in the fandom. I wrote a BillDip fanfic called Payment in Blood that was pretty much just spawned from me drawing some stereotypical dark!Dipper corrupted by Bill Cipher artwork, and I thought. Hey I could turn this into a story. So I did, and what started out as a needlessly violent and gorey dark fic written for shits and giggles gained a huge following, to the point that you probably couldn't be a BillDip fan in late 2014 to 2015 and not know about it. I had people giving me suggestions to incorporate into the storyline and popular artists were drawing fanart for me, and when I showed up in art livestreams people would get all excited about me being there and want to discuss the story with me

Of course in livestreams I always made sure to gently redirect attention back to the artist, it felt rude to talk about my own stuff while someone else is sharing their art process with us, but it was really overwhelming tbh?? It was a LOT of attention to have on me and I felt a lot of pressure to make sure the story was absolutely perfect, and I think by the end I was really running out of steam and struggling to wrap it up. I DID manage to finish the story, it even got a sequel, and looking back on it I'm satisfied with what it is. And the story inspired a lot of new stories and artwork and I love that so many people got inspired to create because of PiB. But I'll always remember that as a very strange time in my life

So I guess what I'm getting at is that while it's fun to THINK about having a popular work that has a lot of impact on the fandom and everyone knows about it, having experienced that before, I can honestly say I can take it or leave it. I LOVE when I can inspire people to make things, if someone gets an idea from something of mine and wants to spin it into their own story, absolutely! Please! And I love having discussions about the characters and their choices, and about my planning, and ideas that were considered but ultimately abandoned, etc. Having a popular fic is fine. But idk. I don't think I'd like it if a story of mine got so popular that other people who aren't interested are getting bothered about if they've read it. I wouldn't want discussions about it dominating a tag that should be more general. I certainly wouldn't want to get harassed over a story of mine, or worse, someone ELSE getting harassed just because they openly enjoyed it. I can handle rude Internet tough guys. But I would never want other people being attacked because I made something popular and people liked it and other people think that's bad

idk if that makes sense but yeah. Sorry if this is really rambly, it's just that I genuinely am unsure if I want to make an impact on fandom, instead I just kinda like being in my own corner and if other people wanna come into my corner and hang out, that's great! But I don't really need to make anything that EVERYONE knows about. While there's good sides to that, there's negatives as well, so eh. I just don't know.

But as an apology for such a long-winded answer. If I did need to choose one to have an impact. You know what.

Triple Life because omegaverse (sorta) Life series season is SUCH a ridiculous fucking idea and I'm so glad for the post that made me go "haha what if" and then actually write it. I think it'd be funny if people were doing like. Analysis and fanart and shit about this story of mine in particular. Look at my smutty Life series fanfic, boy

[tessabennet]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

Thanks to both @somanywords and @zenaidamacrouras1 for tagging me 💛

I'm gonna put my answers under a cut, lest this post becomes a nuisance on other people's dash lol

I don't know who already did this in my very small circle of fic writer friends here, so for any writers who see this and want to do it too, you are hereby officially tagged 🤗

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I currently have 7 works on AO3, two translations and 5 that I've actually written. I kind of think of those 5 as one fic though, bc it's one series, and on my laptop it's all one big document

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

493,817 (I can already say though that by the time my series will be fully posted, that number will be much higher, possibly even doubled)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Marve (more specifically the MCU), and exclusively Stucky

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

These City Walls

Carried the Cross

The Hand of a Devil

Still Running

Loosened Chains

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I always try to respond to every comment I get. If I ever don't respond to one, it's absolutely by accident. I want to encourage people to leave comments as much as I can, and I want to give back the appreciation I receive

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Uhm. All of them? I stick with canon, which is pretty much only angst, and I can't exactly make it better by filling the gaps realistically.

If I had to pick one though, I feel like Carried the Cross is the angstiest, given that everyone knows what comes next and that it'll be awful

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

The one with the happiest happy ending is currently in the making. The others that I've posted and/or finished writing, while certainly having happy moments, still end more or less angstily

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I had a few anons a while back that called me a copycat and plagiarist. They told me to take down my work bc it was a ripoff of another famous stucky series with the same premise. It's the one I did those translations for in fact.

And that's something I sometimes think myself, so it's not like I don't see their point. But the messages were written so rudely that I deleted them rather than open a whole can of worms of discourse about that

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I did/do write smut, yes, but none of that is in the fics I posted so far. And the way I write it is definitely very tame, compared to what's out there. But I think the way I write it fits the style I established for the series, and it fits the vibe I'm going for. Maybe when I'll get to editing those chapters I'll make it more explicit, but for now it's pretty mild

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I don't, given that I'm doing canon-verse fic. It would probably be fun to give it a try, and maybe one day I will, but right now I'm planning on taking a break from fic writing as soon as I'm done with the series, so idk if or when that's gonna be in the cards

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

If so, I don't know about it. I hope not

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Sadly not. I'd love that though, I would be so so so excited to get translations or fanart, and especially a podfic version made from my series

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Also no. I don't know if I'm cut out for that tbh, I'm very particular about the way I want things to be written. So I'm not really sure if I'm the most pleasant person to work with in that respect

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Stucky. Duh

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I am not writing 90k+ wips only to not finish and publish them. Everything I've worked on so far will be published, if it's the last thing I ever do

16. What are your writing strengths?

From the feedback I've received, I'd say it's digging into the deep, complex emotional states of my characters. I've also been told that the way I'm writing them all is very authentic and in character, and that I'm doing a good job with fleshing them out. Which is important for what I'm trying to do with the series, so that's also something I'm proud of

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I am way way too wordy sometimes. I constantly have to cut down my sentences and try to turn them into several shorter ones, bc they get too long or too repetitive. I'm also not entirely sure about the way I handle dialogue, which is kind of a shame since the whole project started with me wanting to practice doing that

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Yes yes yes!! I love it. I loved being able to bring in my native language (german). But even more than that, I like including languages I can kind of understand. I did some French, and luckily I had help with not just getting the meaning across but making it sound like actual native speakers would say it. With Spanish, which I don't speak at all, I asked a friend who's a native speaker, though that was only two lines or so. Also, when I was working on the series and the post-CATFA parts were coming up, I started doing some Russian on duolingo, to drop some phrases here and there. I do have some help there too, but not by a native speaker in this case. Still, it helps to have a second opinion of someone who actually learned this stuff in school

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Stucky is my one and only so far

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Like I said, I kind of think of them all as one big fic, so it's hard to judge. I'm proudest of the one that I'm publishing atm, Loosened Chains, simply bc it's my own post-CATWS fic and those are my personal favourite to read. Skill-wise, I think the best I did is one I haven't published yet, so I'll withhold that information for now

So... there you go! Thanks again for tagging me, guys, I really enjoyed this 🥰✌️

[glassfullofsass]

hey, so I *have* been thinking about this since you responded...8 months ago 😓. In addition to *handwaves vaguely at everything* life, this is very much a Big Screen topic and I spend very, very little non-work time on a big screen. So, we're doing this on my phone. Pardon the brevity 🙃. I did read the linked posts, but im responding here because mutuals.

1- PTSD and death "being kinder". I know better. I have a bad habit of forgetting to contextualize fiction and getting way too invested in the plot and I know that about myself. I even know *enough* about PTSD & how it's often misportrayed, and entirely ignored that in favor of the emotional payoff. With McCabe's gun in play, this should absolutely send warning signals about the reality of how guns work in response to mental health crises. There are definitely other ways for the resolution to have come about.

As for Arkady's "mercy kill", I think the show could handle it better/more thoroughly (ie, with less approval from others), but that it *is* in character for Arkady and how she understands/experiences the world. Tbh, it'd probably be a more interesting story if she & the rest of the crew had to dig deeper into this to reconcile the reality of living with those injuries vs being dead.

And with Jeeter, I can add nothing, just say again that I know better and that you're right...digging deeper into accomodations would be helpful in the long run. (Also, its been a minute, but Jeeter is the one that says he'd be in the way, right? The generative narrative would be for Sana to reply with "accommodating you would teach us how to accommodate others. If you are concerned about your health and easy access to supplies, that is understandable, but don't let your anxiety trick you into thinking you are a burden").

The other big topic tunedtostatic brings up is creator/fan interaction. Im running very short on spoons now, but I'll just echo that, yeah, the internet, and especially tumblr, really allows a lot more overlap. Personally, I don't love fans having this much access to creators (I can think of a dozen examples of creators getting relentlessly hounded about their work because it was their vision and tmnot their fans'. Can we all revisit the very premise of fanfic, please?). I also don't love creators have so much access to me. I feel like im being watched, and frankly creators responding to my posts has driven me out of at least one fandom.

And here's the thing. I'm a big audiodrama listener, but music feeds my soul. I'm Instagram mutuals (idk that that's really a thing, but you know what I mean) with a couple of small artists. I've been to their shows often enough that they know me on sight, and at least two of them know me by name. I don't mind if they heart my posts of cats and flowers and shows. I heart their posts of cats and flowers and shows. I feel like that's a relatively healthy creator/fan relationship.

On tumblr, I'm posting critiques and fics and headcanons. Sure, I'm also posting "go listen to this show its so good", but even those posts include me digging into my feelings and thoughts. I don't need the writer of that show to reblog it with their commentary. I know TMA had a "no creators" tag for a while, though I don't recall the specifics. If it worked, maybe we should take that model and apply it liberally across all fandoms.

I'm gonna start TSCoSI again because I've been thinking about it for weeks, but @falderaletcetera you had some Thoughts about Arkady and McCabe and the trauma of it all in the s2 finale that I'd love to hear more of if you'll allow me to prompt you.

Sorry for not asking when you mentioned it, things got away from me, but it's definitely been on my mind.

[cinnamon-bunni]

tell me all about them. all of your ocs (or just give me a light introduction to your faves/a few pointers to your past posts so i can learn more about the guys!)

uhhh okay but i'll only talk about my monster prom ones for now, because i have a lot of those, and if i talked about my general ones too then this post would be too long (and it's already gonna be too long with just my MP ones lol)

My one and only "proper" OC (which is that they attend Spooky High and interacts with the main cast) is Azzy! He's species is "Demon But Not Really", which is just to say he is a doll that's being animated via blood magic. I had a whole long draft done for a long-ass fic I was gonna write about him, but I ended up deleting it lol He is an amnesiac demon who Damien just kinda found one day. He just sticks to Damien and begs him not to kill him, and Damien pities him enough to keep him around and help him out to find out who he is. Azzy is small (well not physically, he's kinda tall tbh, but he makes himself look small) and meek, which is very odd for a demon, y'know? On an unrelated note, while I have not written a single thing for Azzy, I have made a whole buncha memes about him and his storyline because I have nothing better to do and I would rather do that then write about him. oops? I could go into why he was created, but I'll leave that for another day <3 I don't have much to say about him, because tbh I forgot a lot of things for him, but's a summary of his character. Also here is a playlist I made for him a while back lol And also here's a picrew I made that generally looks like him (best I could do ^^;;)

omg I actually forgot abotu Lady de Ville. I only remembered her when I was looking for the picew of Azzy. Anyways de Ville is a vampire from way-back-when, back when Liam first became a vampire, and was the leader of what was the Dark Side back then. In all honesty I'm too afraid to talk about her, because while I love to daydream, I get too embarrassed when someone asks; she is apart of the Very Long and Sorta Complicated Past I have given Liam. One day I might write a fic about it, idk. But Lady de Ville is the definition of Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss, and is like pretty shitty and evil tbh. I won't go into her but I will give you a picrew of her! (which is not too accurate but oh well I can only do so much lol)

And finally, I have the seven OCs that were mainly created because I became obsessed with worldbuilding Hell for the Monster Prom universe ^^; and so I made the rulers for each Circle. I posted about them before, but here they are again because they didn't properly show up in the tags lol (so yeah this is copy-pasted and is the longest so I'm sorry lol) (and also sorry no picrews, but it's hard to make demons in many of them TwT)

The ruler of the First Circle, Limbo, is Baron Levy (who is my favorite MP OC and can talk about him for days)! He is the youngest of the rulers, becoming Baron at age 19 (and is currently 27 or so). He is shy and reserved, keeping mainly only to himself. He is also Damien’s glorified babysitter bodyguard close friend, and the two often hang out if the prince ever decides to visit Limbo.

The next circle, the Second Circle of Lust, is ruled by Lord Asmos. He was actually the first one I made, as he is Azzy’s father! Once ruled with great power, Asmos was demoted down to the Second Circle, and hates it with a passion, as he now has very little power or say in anything. He only wishes death and despair onto the LaVeys, but other than that he’s just kind of…there.

The Third Circle of Hell is run by Earl Cerci. As it is the Circle of Gluttony, it would only be fitting for her to be a glutton as well–but, a glutton for knowledge. It was said thirst for knowledge that made her Fall, that made her to be cast out of Heaven, but she learned to get over it. She is close friends with Lucien, who met her when she first arrived in Hell. The two are probably the only few ones who use the braincell out of all of the rulers.

The fourth ruler is Marquess Marlon! Marlon, too, is a Fallen Angel, and being the dramatic demon he is, cut off his wings (which won some points with Damien, because damn that’s pretty fucking metal!). He spends most of his time with humans rather than in hell, because he finds them all so Interesting and Funny (especially Italians, for some reason. He usually frequents Italy). In general he just likes to hang around and have fun, and is definitely a “party-now-work-later” kind of demon.

Ruler of the Fifth Circle is Duke Gordie. A powerful warrior, but also a very sleepy boi. He doesn’t care too much for his work–many don’t in all honesty–but is a powerful demon on the battlefield. Respect is a big deal for him, and people have to earn his respect–in battle, of course. He’s a bit of an asshole with anger issues (hence the Circle of Anger), and tends to either be pissed off at everyone or everything, or…sleeping.

The ruler of the Sixth Circle, the Circle of Heresy, is Grand Duke Faren. She is stern, ruthless, and unforgiving; she holds a lot of power in Hell, and is not someone to mess with. She isn’t afraid to voice her opinions, and is willing to stand by what she says. She truly does believe that she is stronger, and therefore better, than the kings. She isn’t afraid to go against her kings’ orders, even if it’s heresy. She is willing to die for what she believes in.

The seventh ruler of the Seventh Circle is Archduke Bubzeleon III–or just Archduke Buddi! He runs the Circle of Violence, and is a boisterous and loud demon. He is also childhood friends with Stan, and the two worked together side-by-side during the war in the Eighth Circle (he even got to watch the two fall in love!). He’s also given the highest honor of being considered as Damien’s uncle, which is something he wears as a badge of honor. He just loves violence and danger so much, and loves to get into all kind of situations because of it.

If you made it this far, then thank you, it really does mean a lot <333 I usually don't talk about them, but I really do love these guys so much lol I would have to say, Levy would probably have to be my favorite, seconded by Cerci and Marlon <3 I just like to think about Levy and Damien's relationship a whole lot (edit: made each of the lords' parts shorter because i just realized how long they are and you asked for light intros oops lmao)

[lebrookestore]

Thank You and Presents?

Welcome to this semi-chaotic, passive aggressive post. I spent a good hour on this, so you mfs better read.

I've decided to combine these two posts, considering they go hand in hand, so bear with me.

I've been here for a month, and I've made so many new friends, read some amazing fics, and actually made friends with some of my writing inspirations themselves, which I cant even begin to comprehend so I won't try.

I've released four fics, two were shorter, but the ones I'm really proud of- Little Princess and Poison and Petals-i still can't believe I sat my ass down and started writing. This year has been a shit one, but never would I have thought I would start writing fanfiction. Let alone the long ass fics I write please.

So hitting 100 followers is even more of a foreign concept, but thank you so much! I'm bewildered that people actually ready my shit and the fact some want to be tagged in stuff, and the fact it's only been a month? What is reality-

And some of y'all see my shit posts and deal with me- to that I say God bless you and your patience. You have to be some sort of heavenly being amen.

Honestly, some of y'all actually helped me through a lot of shit, and some even encouraged me with my first fic, which was the start of these shenanigans( whether this was a good idea or not, we shall never know)

Basically, thank you so much, it means a lot to me, it really makes my day when I see w new follow, or a reblog, or someone liking my shit posts about simping (I am sorry my dude) .

Now, since the year is ending, thank god, I've decided to give my moots presents, since I've seen a lot of people do this (originality went ✨yeet✨) and it's also like a thank you and appreciation message of sorts. Also because I'm nice.

Let the chaos begin:

@alicanta77 my first moot, and literally one of my biggest inspirations fir writing, she was with me when I was writing Poison and Petals, and encouraged me with everytime I hit a roadblock, or was feeling tired with it. She's such a talented writer, and her series are very well thought out. They deserve so much more love, because the effort, the plot, everything is immaculate, and felix, babe, I love you to death.

@danishmiilk my second moot on this hellhole and I hate you but I love you so I guess pemdas cancels that out. She is an amazing writer, her fics too deserve more attention. I honestly don't know what I would do without this bitch, we run the culture cafe together, and I'm such a dumbass at coding, but she does it(even if she does forget to add the https, but we won't talk about that okay) and she matches my chaotic energy perfectly. She's definitely not annoying (I wrote that with a straight face my dude, be proud), and I would do anything for her so yeah ily bye

@astroboy-lele furOU THE 40 YEAR OLD MAN ON FACEBOOK- I'm sorry, not really, oh well. Another underrated writer, her fics are really good too, and she was the one who encouraged me to start the net, and gave me the idea of a dark cafe aesthetic. She helped me with a lot of shit there too, and is a really good listener.

@orange-nimon-cross I scared as fuck of yunha, but I also love her. Shes honest and blunt af and I love that about her. She always gives me honest, actually helpful feedback a d if probably the first person I'd go to for said feedback. She deserves way more credit for her writing, its amazing, and her poetry? They're beautiful and deep and ineish I could write like that.

@rouiyan MISS REE ANOTHER WRITING INSPO AND A GREAT FRIEND honestly I met her and we just vibed tbh. She too helped me with my first fic by encouraging me, and I love her to death too. Very happy ahes back from hiatus, all my fists of love for you babe!

@yvezs mila I have no fucking clue what your posts mean half the time, but I love you anyways okay, you already know so I'm not gonna bother writing a long ass para, I'll annoy you later

@heartyyjeno ALESHA! honestly, she's so sweet, and her asks literally brighten up my day. Her writing is also amazing and just ugh, I love you and get very happy everytime I see you.

@moonbeamsung HANNAH BBY YOU'RE SO CUTE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH OMG you're the sweetest bean ever and your writing is the bomb.com. I hope we can get closer, because you never fail to make me feel better, or brighten up my day with a message or an ask.

@radiorenjun angie my fellow simp and hard stan letS GO- I know she's not always online, but she's always there when I need to simp, or when I need help with important descisions (what pic I should chose fir my lockcreen, for example) she's always there to simp for ten with me and our convos are questionable (she's seen my dark dark gallery man. If that's not friendship idk what it) . If you do want to summon her though, I suggest typing renjun or ten in a message, all caps.

@channoticedmeuwu kai. *heavy sigh* this bitch is honestly one of the best people, like she deals with ny shit posts, replIES TO THEM and even deals with my excessive simping like damn what angel are you (the fallen one, jK-) she also likes simping with me, even called for help once(it failed, but it's the thought that counts. She even tried helping me when my laptop fucked me over, which, surprise, it still is, but we barely even knew each other at the time?? How amazing is that?? But bitch stay the fuck away from taeyong thanks hyuck is the waiting.

@loonacitys I MET YOU TWO DAYS AGO BUT I ALREADY LOVE YOU WE LIVE I'M THE SAME DAMN CITY BYE OMG and she matches my crack head humour *cough* tHe gRoUp *cough* so yes another amazing hooman bean.

@sweetlyjaem she SIMPED WITH ME AMEN-

@ppangjae literally one of my biggest inspos for writing, I read seven letters and was inspired to pick up little princess again after it was sitting dying in a dark corner of google Docs for three days. Alex is so sweet, she didn't mind my chaotic awkward ass, and dealt with the long ass asks and the dozen of messages I sent her.

@kdongyoung ro is so sweet and chaotic I love it. Her edits are *chefs kiss* and she made my beautiful header which I will flex everytime I get the chance. We've not talked that much, but I still love you okay.

Moots I wanna know better-@jungwooisms @du0tine @moonttaeil @fruityutas @ooyoungs

I LOVE YOU ALL AND THANK YOU BYE

[woosansang]

i have no experience writing fic, so i can't really help, but what/who were you writing the fic about? i love your gifs, i'd be excited to read your writing!

omg an anon last week exposed me as an rpf reader and now im about to be exposed as an rpf writer too aksjshshdh i dont reeeeally wanna say who tbh? like i'm more than happy to chat in detail abt it privately but uhhhhh in public? idk sksjshsh. I mean if u really wanna know whatever I'm into at the moment all you need to do is go to my ao3 and look at my bookmarks... there r links in my blog's description if ur curious enough.

as for the what. I've been reading a ton of sci-fi and urban fantasy in the last few weeks and these writers are so freaking talented that its inspiring me to want to write again. I have many half formed ideas about witches and spaceships and shapeshifters and technology and magic and potions and falling in love and I don't know how to put it into any cohesive kind of story... hence, i am stuck

and thank u!! I'm glad u like my gifs 💜💜💜 I've posted a fair few things that i wrote in the last couple of years on ao3 and tumblr if u wanna check it out. They're all reddie fics! Anyone who's known me for a while probably knows about the monstrosity that was "run away together (spend some time forever)" which is a whole goddamn 200k words and took like 14 months to write. I'm proud of it. I'll pop it in the tags here if u wanna just click and read

jeez that got long sorry anon i ramble sometimes

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: I need a favour Jimmy: And the scale is what? Like a kidney or a 🚬? Janis: don't need anything off you but a lie Janis: so standard, yeah Jimmy: go on Janis: if any of my family ask, and it'll probably be Grace Janis: can you tell 'em I'm at yours, yeah Janis: they won't come over or anything cringe Jimmy: Alright Janis: sure? Janis: cool Janis: I owe you Jimmy: Standard, you said it Jimmy: meant to be with me #always Janis: you get I mean like, until further notice, right Janis: if I'm gone too long and they get aggro, just tell 'em I've gone but yeah, long as you can Jimmy: I weren't reckoning you were nipping out to get a coffee at one of my rival's Jimmy: even Gracie ain't that on one Janis: not that loyal either, sorry to report Jimmy: 💔 Janis: tell her how devvo you are, make her life Jimmy: gonna have to if you leave the fans in a content draught Jimmy: how would I ever cope with becoming #irrelevant Janis: despite the fact that's exactly what you're after, supposedly Janis: and I'm there, remember, content as usually Janis: use your artiste imagination Jimmy: Now I've gotta do all the faking myself Jimmy: what kind of girlfriend Janis: I said I owed you Janis: now you get it Jimmy: You'll more than owe me when I have to seriously draft your sister in as your stand in Janis: don't Jimmy: Too many white redheads in this town Janis: I'm serious dickhead Janis: don't get with my sister Jimmy: It weren't a serious consideration Jimmy: literally no point to this if I were gonna Janis: yeah well I don't ask your reasons you don't ask mine Janis: might've changed Jimmy: not that fucking hard they won't have Jimmy: you got the lobotomy not me Janis: alright alright Janis: 😏 Janis: just can't stand to see her happy, yeah Jimmy: can't stand to see her, tah Janis: my sentiments exactly Jimmy: Better come back in a bit then Jimmy: so you won't have to see me with her Janis: 😑 stop it Jimmy: What? Janis: putting that mental image in my head Jimmy: I mean, dickhead, are you alright or what? Janis: ain't gonna off myself Janis: not that cunt, I wouldn't put that on you Jimmy: not what I asked Janis: idk how to answer that Janis: don't see the point in lying but not asking this favour of ya as no cry for help Janis: alright, nothing I can't handle Jimmy: very comforting that Janis: you shouldn't of asked Janis: nothing you can do either, don't worry Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: 'course there is Janis: fake boyfriend chivalry is cute and all Jimmy: I know but stop flirting with me and you can be here instead of just saying you are Janis: 1. no one is flirting with you Janis: 2. can't sleep in your shed Jimmy: don't be a twat Jimmy: [tells her where there is a front door key] Janis: what will your dad reckon Janis: don't you need to ask Jimmy: He ain't in Janis: yeah but I told you I need more than a coffee break Jimmy: Yeah, so you can have my room Janis: alright Janis: just 'til you get back tonight Jimmy: Til whenever Jimmy: I'll go in my brother's Janis: nah, I ain't gonna put you out Janis: I appreciate it though Jimmy: You ain't Jimmy: but alright Janis: come off it Jimmy: you Janis: what? Jimmy: I get that you scare easy, rich girl, but I'm the only 👻 round my house Janis: I ain't scared Janis: least of all of your gaff Jimmy: stick around then Janis: they been in today? Jimmy: what do you reckon? Janis: they clearly don't give a fuck Janis: idk what would it take for them to piss off, that's the truth Janis: if I knew well Jimmy: sure I could do it Janis: like the optimism Jimmy: full of it, me Jimmy: 🌞 Janis: don't make me laugh Janis: 🌚 me Jimmy: there's no universe we ain't starcrossed 💔🎻 Janis: actually a tragedy Janis: I'll put it in my note Janis: f u god Jimmy: I'll post it for you, babe Janis: that's real romance Janis: 😩🤤😍 Janis: makes a girl wanna stick around Jimmy: and I ain't even said how much I'd miss you yet Janis: do I get a preview or have I gotta die for the 💕 Jimmy: Depends Janis: on? Jimmy: Do you want me or do you wanna die? Janis: that's a big question Jimmy: I've got a big 💕 Janis: baby Jimmy: 😘 Janis: give me a night Janis: yeah Janis: then I can work out what next Jimmy: Take a night Jimmy: It's alright, I said Janis: don't wanna owe you too much Jimmy: So scared, you Janis: 😠 Jimmy: well cute Janis: I may owe ya Janis: but I will punch you Jimmy: I ain't scared, only you Janis: should be Janis: I have your keys Jimmy: I don't have a car for you to fuck up with them Jimmy: and there ain't fuck all for you to steal Jimmy: just a 🐕 Janis: you reckon I'm such a 🐰boiler Janis: should be worried for that poor pup Jimmy: that's your sister Janis: see, not a good replacement Jimmy: never said she were Janis: hmm Jimmy: Less need for a filter, like Jimmy: that's what I said Janis: you see her in person ain't ya Janis: every need for the filter, thanks Jimmy: 👩🏽 🤳🏽 Jimmy: what I'm bothered about Janis: we ain't identical Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: Stop misunderstanding me, dickhead Janis: stop comparing me to her Janis: bad idea Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: 😏 Jimmy: such hard work, you Janis: you signed up for it Janis: and invited me over Janis: you must be cracked Jimmy: Do you wanna be uninvited or what? Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: believe that when I don't hear it Janis: bollocks Janis: I never speak Janis: complained as much before Jimmy: I change my mind, you've complained before about that, mate Janis: just so unpredictable, babe Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: stop flirting with me Jimmy: you signed up for it Janis: true Janis: that's my answer Jimmy: [does some extra post about how much he misses her] Janis: pretty good, mate Jimmy: 🏆💪 Janis: you want me to walk this dog Jimmy: such an athlete 💕 Janis: you know it Janis: counts towards my IOU? Janis: like 25% maybe? Jimmy: Piss off Janis: worth a shot Jimmy: next time hit the 🎯 Janis: damn Janis: tough love Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Janis: so hot Jimmy: I know Janis: that's how your shifts going then Jimmy: when don't it? Jimmy: 😎🚬☕💰💰💰 Janis: new bio Jimmy: it'll be a big hit on tinder Janis: probably just do the last 3 Jimmy: can't rip off your bio, bit rude Janis: feel free Janis: goals! Jimmy: We that type of couple, yeah? Janis: #lookingforathird Jimmy: don't tell 💀👑 though Janis: I'm not going to jail if she pegs it in the sack, fuck that Jimmy: I'd break you out, baby 💕 Janis: why are YOU not going to jail too Janis: admitting you ain't pulling your weight 😏 Jimmy: They'll deport me back to Manchester #duh Janis: ugh, can't fake ldr Jimmy: you'll have to come with when I rescue you then Janis: works for me Janis: get out of here after-all Jimmy: 👍 Janis: have to let me tag-along 'til I learn the language tho Jimmy: fuck that, I'll crack on teaching you when I get back in a bit Janis: challenge accepted Jimmy: [okay but hear me out, what if she lowkey just stayed at his on and off the whole time] Jimmy: shouldn't be no challenge for a 🧠 or 👅 like yours, Judith Janis: [legit for her running away vibe that she would so I buy it tbh] Janis: I didn't wanna disrespect your culture Janis: being polite, like Jimmy: What culture and what decent manners? 😏 Janis: I'm catching on Janis: get me a flatcap wearing pipe smoking man in no time Jimmy: Ian is bound to show his face eventually, being my dad and the one on the lease an' all Jimmy: crack on Janis: assuming he don't wanna head back north though Janis: unless he's on the run Jimmy: he don't Jimmy: 💔 for you Janis: population ain't that low Jimmy: your chances ain't that high Jimmy: grim up there, ain't you heard? Janis: and I ain't Janis: queen of the north, bitch, watch me Jimmy: won't be there to 👀 you binned me off Janis: you Janis: teaching me northern now so you can ditch me then Jimmy: you Jimmy: 'cause you wanna chain a pipe with some 👴💕 Janis: your type, first of all Janis: so welcome for me being so accomodating about the type of third we want Jimmy: hot's hot, babe Jimmy: can't fight it Janis: 😂 Janis: then don't Jimmy: Alright Janis: good Janis: sorted Jimmy: all in a day's work Janis: mhmm Janis: tip you later Jimmy: if anyone else said that they'd be out on their ear, you know Janis: I'm special, you know Jimmy: Me and everyone who follows me 💕 Janis: I get it Janis: you want a post too Janis: hold up Janis: [some post about waiting for him to come back and a selfie on his bed like hey] Jimmy: well done for finding the right bed Janis: tnat could've been awkward Janis: where does your da sleep, actually Jimmy: garage Janis: ahh Jimmy: not in a car, like Janis: 💔 shame Jimmy: for his birds, yeah Jimmy: can't drive themselves away now Janis: 😬 Janis: who am i meant to be Janis: btw Janis: if I bump into the man Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: idk, a valid one? Jimmy: Why ain't you who you always are? Jimmy: a more valid one that Janis: I meant more like, do you have your fam or your socials or no Janis: am I your fake girlfriend to them or just a mate, like Jimmy: can't keep them off Jimmy: must be my 🥇 content Janis: who could resist Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: [sends a 🔥 sext cos #mood after what she posted] Jimmy: treat your followers, mate Janis: 😏 Janis: too kind Jimmy: it's been said Janis: should run a hotline in your spare time Janis: 💰💰💰 Jimmy: How do you know I don't? Jimmy: other than the state of my room Janis: yeah aside from that Janis: literally that special, obvs mate Jimmy: Gotta keep you in 🚬 Jimmy: might bankrupt a lesser lad Janis: psh, I ain't the one with the habit Janis: and why I picked you, babe 😘 Jimmy: of all the bollocks to fake, Jasmine Janis: what Jimmy: I've 👀 yous and 👂 about the pipe you crave Jimmy: can't fool me Janis: 1. filth Janis: 2. very in to be a social smoker, just playing along with what they'd do Jimmy: 1. you better not be filthy in my bed Jimmy: 2. I'll pick you up a vape pen on my way home, yeah? Janis: 1. I'm not gonna hot box your room, better house guest than that, just Janis: 2. if you want me to peg you, just ask Jimmy: 1. Free house law, wouldn't be nowt I could do Jimmy: 2. sure that'd be very #goals but you're alright Janis: 1. see, you want me to really, perv Janis: 2. leave it at the smoke shack then, boy Jimmy: 1. you wanna really Jimmy: 2. what kind of boyfriend if I don't bring you 🎁 Janis: 1. even if I did, get what you said about this dog, won't leave me alone, what's it called? Janis: 2. bring me a ☕ Jimmy: 1. Too late to call her Mia or? Jimmy: 2. What do you actually want then? Janis: 1. 😂 no the 🐶 is too cute for that don't be mean Janis: 2. idk, what kind of smoothies do you do, something like that Jimmy: 1. You're right, she ain't half starved Jimmy: 2. 👍 Janis: 1. have to call RSPCA on you, not #goals Janis: 2. tah Jimmy: Be a quality break up story that Janis: shelf it for later Janis: no dogs actually harmed though, tah Janis: not co-signing that Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: fine Janis: you got a brother and a sister, right? Jimmy: You had a nose around my house or my 📷 IG? Janis: found the right bed on my 2nd attempt Janis: and pretty sure you've mentioned them Janis: but yeah, what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't stalk all your socials Jimmy: A sane one Jimmy: yet to have one of them so crack on Janis: if I was sane they'd call me a nun Janis: gotta play to the audience Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: for you Janis: find one one day Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: cute Jimmy: I am, yeah Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: convincing denial, babe Janis: get it, you want me to tell you how cute you ain't, that's your kink Janis: busy though Jimmy: I don't want you to tell me what you're busy with in my bed though, tah Janis: walking this dog Janis: or getting it ready to Janis: idiot Jimmy: Don't bother, it's alright Janis: may as well, no Jimmy: If you want a 🥇 over my sister whose job it is Janis: oh will she be pissed off Janis: can always have 2 walks Jimmy: cute Jimmy: scared of her an' all? Janis: yeah obvs Janis: just trying not to be a dick to your fam and all Janis: they ain't done nothing to me Jimmy: Yet Jimmy: she could take you in a scrap, mate Janis: alright doubt that Janis: not gonna fight a child either you dick Jimmy: 🙀 you Janis: ain't you got hipsters and basic white girls to serve Jimmy: but my 1st priority is always you, girl 💕 Janis: thrilled about that, obvs Jimmy: I know Janis: feel the love Jimmy: 😘 Janis: you sure you wanna give up your bed Janis: I got places I can go Jimmy: I get it, it don't have a princess canopy Jimmy: you'll live Janis: but will I sleep Jimmy: alright you can borrow my 😎 Jimmy: stop begging Janis: 😂 Janis: and I ain't begging, let's get that clear Janis: told you, got options Jimmy: and I told you, alright Jimmy: you can calm down now, my dear Jimmy: the better option is you 📷🐕💕 Janis: just saying, don't make me feel more like a cunt than I already do Janis: but obvs Janis: suckers for cuteness every time Jimmy: Leave it, I'll live too Jimmy: just don't lose the 🔑 that's our Cass' job an' all Janis: 🤞 Jimmy: #whenshedon'twantyouto💀💀💀 Janis: 💕 Janis: wait 'til I've worked on your old man so I've got an in, like Jimmy: he'll give you an alibi for 🔪🔪💀💀 long as it's only me Janis: that's the lowdown on them then Janis: what about your brother, he gonna come for me too? Jimmy: Depends, you got it in you to piss off a 6 year old or not? Janis: don't really do kids Janis: can't be as annoying as the ones I know though, not related to me for a start Jimmy: Related to me though 😏 Jimmy: just admit you 💕 me, babe Janis: shut up Janis: I'm related to my siblings and I'm great Janis: poor kid stands a chance Jimmy: He's related to Ian, no he don't Janis: bummer Janis: take him with when you get deported? Jimmy: quickest way to get arrested again that Jimmy: use your big head Janis: pretend he's yours Janis: who'd know Jimmy: Piss off I'm northern not a paddy Janis: alright and your ex ain't got a kid nah Jimmy: that's a 👶 not a kid Janis: true Janis: yeah 9 might be insane Janis: can you grow bum fluff, age yourself up before the 🚬 do Jimmy: I dunno Janis: tell him he's like 4 Janis: buy you as 18, sorted Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: that your way of telling me you wanna go pub in a bit then? Janis: duh Janis: i am part paddy Jimmy: How big's the % Jimmy: might be a dealbreaker Janis: 50% Janis: 25% scouse 25% brazilian Jimmy: Made you do maths in the holidays 😏 Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: *😎 Jimmy: *👻 an all Jimmy: any chance you can say you're 💀💀💀 so I can leave? Janis: well my irish fam ain't even from this part of ireland but keep that to yourself 🤐 already got the ropes out, like Janis: only so many funerals I can have but sure Jimmy: I'll keep your real kinks to myself too Jimmy: put the ropes away though you'll wind up the 🐕 Janis: 💕 Janis: boo, no fun Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: Best fake boyfriend you've ever had, sweetheart Janis: competition of one but 🏆 Janis: there you are Jimmy: tah Janis: fake win for a fake boy Janis: only right Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: about to pull a fake sickie, me Janis: that is actual smart though so Jimmy: and you owe me some fake nursing Jimmy: might as well cash in Janis: yeah? Jimmy: send me one of the nudes 💀👑 has sent you so I can 🤢 Janis: 😂 Janis: just don't leak 'em Janis: for my eyes only, obvs 🙄 Jimmy: I promise Janis: [sends her the latest god knows what Mia has been sending for the lols] Jimmy: she's Janis: in love with me? Janis: yeah Janis: don't be threatened Jimmy: but my fragile masculinity though! 😱😱😱 Janis: I'll nurse it better baby Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: put the outfit on, I'll be there in a bit Janis: 😏 Janis: alright Jimmy: 😘 Jimmy: [is there when she gets back from walking Twix because it was a long walk and he's a sneaky speedy mofo] Janis: ['fancy seeing you here' 🤓] Jimmy: [hands her the smoothie he's made specially] Janis: [is doing a #skeptical face but changes it to a 'not bad' when she tries it] Jimmy: [gives her a look like go on then, tell me what's wrong with it but goes to put kettle on for his self #northern] Janis: ['ain't just resident eye candy then, good to know'] Jimmy: [does a bow cos nerd] Janis: [just giving Twix love whilst he makes tea, shouts through 'so you gonna show me where it hurts or am I guessing?' like you don't need to play nurse yet eager bitch] Jimmy: [you know he's making her one even though she's literally got a smoothie so who else is eager, comes through with said tea after a bit and puts the mugs down so he can put a hand over his heart like an even bigger nerd] Janis: [make pouty poor boy face 'might be incurable, that'] Jimmy: ['if you can't do it, you can't' shrugs] Janis: ['making it a challenge?'] Jimmy: [sips tea with an eyebrow raised like a sassy bitch] Janis: [lols, 'okay, so your face muscles are working fine, I get it' casually squishing his face 'cos cheeky too] Jimmy: [when you give her a little smooch but it's FINE cos you've got your phone out okay] Janis: [#allforthegramsureboys how many people really wanna see you making out erryday like some yeah you fine but still] Jimmy: [we know you ain't even holding that phone properly boy and then you won't post it cos you'll say it's too blurry or whatever] Janis: [one of these days you gon just drop it and the pretense but not yet] Jimmy: [soon kids, just hold on] Janis: ['how's the heart now? just challenging to go further oh lads] Jimmy: [puts her hand over said heart like that's nbd and not at all dangerous, with a shrug like I ain't dead yet so] Janis: [we all know it'd be beating pretty fast so bold Jimothy, just looking at her hand on his chest 'cos 'real question is, do you want it to be better or do you wanna..' when you trail off but we get it] Jimmy: ['more goals if I die for you, Juliet'] Janis: [when you're taking that as a yes #bothproblematic and you just kick it up to an actual make out sec again phone is out but who cares] Jimmy: [both of you just going for it like this isn't a dangerous game, impressed that you ain't dropped that phone tbh] Janis: [also your teas going cold, jussayin, when you just straddle his lap but don't sit] Jimmy: [OMG THE TEA] Janis: [my boo like nooooo stop rn and finish that brew] Jimmy: [gonna have to microwave that in a bit] Janis: [least Twix can bark 'cos jealous and they'll think someone's about to run up in so even if they ain't it then breaks the moment] Jimmy: [Good 🐕 yeah let's not have Cass descend yet cos she can always cockblock another moment should we need] Jimmy: [just drinking that tea casually now like nothing happened okay] Janis: [my thoughts exactly, at least Janis can love said cockblocking dog now 'cos awkward] Jimmy: [#true love] Janis: [doing that post about how he's poorly/playing nurse etc gotcha covered boy] Jimmy: [doing flirty replies so you can safely flirt lol] Janis: [so blatant lads] Janis: you seen that lot today? Jimmy: [nods] Janis: shoulda messaged us Janis: final fuck you to 'em before I go, like Jimmy: soz there were a rush on Janis: no worries, got a day now Janis: drop in tomorrow, undoubtedly be there Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [just picked up his lighter and are playing with it Jimmy: brb Janis: 👌 Jimmy: [comes back in a bit with art hoe supplies so he can draw her] Janis: ['homework?'] Jimmy: [shows her what he's doing] Janis: [when you try to be casual and 😏 about it but are immediately like oh and self-conscious of how you look rn 'am I meant to pose or what?'] Jimmy: [just shrugs because he's helpful like that lol 'Do you want it to turn out decent or not?' because challenge always like be my muse bitch] Janis: [🙄 'if you wanna be goals you'll draw me pretty no matter what' but is her usual effortless model self 'cos 'course she can] Jimmy: [🙄 back 'By now I've had plenty of practice at faking I reckon you are, no challenge or owt'] Janis: [sighs 'must be nice having good taste, even if it's pretend, welcome' 😘] Jimmy: [sighs back dramatically without looking up from the page 'be nicer if you stopped moving your lips, dickhead'] Janis: ['mr serious artiste needs to concretrate, okay, okay' mimes zipping 'em] Jimmy: [makes a scoff news but in the next second you know he's doing a cute lil concentration face] Jimmy: [*noise] Janis: [stealth taking a picture of that 'cos is cute] Jimmy: [chewing on that pen like a cute mofo also how confident not to use pencil boy] Janis: [like you've drawn her before lol Jimmy: [giving yourself well away] Janis: [what does one even do when getting drawn, just getting so comfy on that couch, so confident bitch] Jimmy: [at least his doodle style wouldn't take an age] Janis: [trulyfe] Jimmy: [lowkey shoving it at her like well I'm done and soooo not bothered haha] Janis: [when you can't be like I LOVE IT 'cos 1. a picture of yourself 2. you're not meant to be bothered either but you do love so you're like 'you're actually good then' like fairplay] Jimmy: [when you can't deal with even such a lowkey compliment so you have to leave the room and pretend like it's cause the dog is being so annoying like fuck off to the kitchen Twix you slag but also the awks is radiating off you so she's gotta be aware] Janis: [just pocketing that drawing, like] Janis: wanna 🚬? Jimmy: [when you don't answer you just head out there] Janis: [leaves it a hot sec like well am I invited or nah but then decides to go out regardless] Jimmy: [sit on that trampoline kids] Jimmy: [when you light up for her even though you feel awks cos habit] Janis: [takes it and lies back on the trampoline looking up at the sky and smoking] Jimmy: [shamelessly looking at her while she can't see him do it as if he didn't spend however long doing that when he was drawing, okay boy] Janis: ['s'comfy' and closing her eyes 'cos in my mind she's probably had a couple nights out in town already 'cos usually how she'd do before running] Jimmy: [takes off his jacket or hoodie or whatever and spreads it over her like a blanket cos nerd] Janis: [when you just allow that] Jimmy: [Twix just jumping on her because can't get a moment gdi] Janis: [at least she can get her to settle next to her like shh] Jimmy: [just texting Cass like where are you btw because can't join in with the snuggle] Janis: [a fair point also gotta tell her dis bitch staying over like] Jimmy: [really lingering over this convo because what to say or what to do, god bless him] Janis: [she's just oblivious soz lol] Jimmy: [after a while just poking her like 'You hungry or what?'] Janis: ['oi' but getting up, leaning on her elbows 'yeah, I could eat, want me go get something?'] Jimmy: [pushes her back down but gently cos he's gonna go and does] Janis: charming Janis: wanna go twos at least Jimmy: Obviously not, 'cause yeah I am such a 👑 charming, like Jimmy: I gotta pick my brother up anyway Janis: don't be stealing my shoes Janis: know they'd probably fit you but still, not even fake like that Janis: 👍 Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: I've touched your feet and I wouldn't be caught 💀💀💀 Janis: nothing wrong with my feet Jimmy: If you want sell pics to pervs, crack on Jimmy: #notmykink Janis: make a lot off that Janis: I don't need it Janis: 👑💰 Jimmy: hand it over my way then Janis: called being a pimp, that Jimmy: alright so if anyone asks, this convo's fake Janis: alright, rebrand to manager and you get 20% Janis: all in the details, boy Jimmy: Am I signing in 🩸 or that only the 💀💌? Janis: what you so hesitant for Janis: my fucking feet Janis: 🗡 least you can do is suffer Jimmy: I were wondering how much of my bodily fluids you're gonna want over the course of this bollocks Janis: don't be so crude Janis: talking about making softcore fetish porn here, not your emissions, thanks very much Janis: be professional Jimmy: become a nun after you 💔 me not before Janis: you can't 💔 Janis: become a priest if you want access to that untapped source of 😻 Jimmy: You, dickhead Janis: not gay Jimmy: No shit Janis: shut up Jimmy: you Janis: you, dickhead Jimmy: You're a bigger dickhead Janis: awh, it's mm if at all, don't worry 💕 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: how long you reckon you'll be Jimmy: Depends Janis: yeah but Janis: rough estimate Jimmy: Yeah but are you gonna tell me what you wanna eat or have I gotta guess? Janis: get whatever you lot want Janis: I'll eat anything Jimmy: Then I'll be a bit longer than it takes 💀👑 to slide in your DMs whenever you post but not as long as it takes her to take no for an answer Jimmy: alright? Janis: 👍 Janis: gonna go for a run then Jimmy: I won't let the 🐕 know 💔 Janis: can't keep friends, me Janis: soz babe Jimmy: my fault, should've warned her what you're like Janis: you'd have to know for that Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: at it again, you Janis: what, we mates now Jimmy: who's asking? Janis: who do you think Janis: 🐕 hasn't mastered the phone Jimmy: I don't reckon you have any need to ask, Jennifer Jimmy: there's your answer Janis: alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: Stop trying to friendzone me, babe Jimmy: It ain't #goals Janis: you're ridiculous Jimmy: I ain't the one asking questions I know the answers to Jimmy: such a girl, you Janis: and I'm the know-it-all Janis: ok bighead Jimmy: I get it, you don't wanna share the 🏆 Janis: you who don't wanna share Jimmy: What you on about? Jimmy: I love sharing, me Janis: nah Janis: ain't that bad a roomie, like Janis: don't ask gracie though Jimmy: don't ask her round, don't ask her questions, you don't want much, you Janis: shut up Janis: how often you have to see her, welcome the break Janis: I would Jimmy: I do Janis: exactly, don't complain, boy Jimmy: Or what? Janis: plenty of ways to shut you up Jimmy: Go on then Janis: 🔇 Janis: feel that mute Jimmy: 🎻🎻still playing on Janis: sorry what was that? Jimmy: come here, grub is Janis: okay, be right there Jimmy: 😘 Janis: don't make me 🤢 into it like Jimmy: but that sounds so hot 💕 Jimmy: bit rude of you to take the spotlight though Jimmy: it were my sickie Janis: oh yeah, soz Janis: be a better patient and I'll be a better nurse Jimmy: be 🥇 and it wouldn't matter Janis: weren't me, was the dog Janis: but okay, round 2 Jimmy: ain't even fed me 🍇 or nowt Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 Janis: 😂 you aren't a roman emperor Jimmy: I'm on my fake deathbed here Janis: so I've gotta spoil you, yeah Jimmy: do something Janis: been trying Janis: saying, have your bed back, I'll take the floor Jimmy: I don't want my bed back Janis: tell me what you want Jimmy: I have done Janis: get the grapes then shall I Janis: brb, detour Jimmy: come and eat, dickhead Janis: well alright Janis: later then Jimmy: I don't even like 🍇 alright Janis: see, how can I win Janis: honestly, setting me up, shame 😏 Jimmy: I'll spit them out off 📷 Jimmy: we can make it work Janis: you baby Janis: you can swallow Jimmy: alright, I'll do it for you 💕 Janis: true love Janis: [show up for this dinner moment] Jimmy: [Bobby and Twix casually cockblocking but not cos he made the kid sit up the table #smart while they can stay on the sofa where they make all their mems but Cass not because we may need her to actually in a bit] Janis: [good thinking boy, also Janis casually breathing a sigh of relief 'cos feels weird meeting his fam whilst it's fake tbh, not Ian fuck Ian but rude on the kids, like] Jimmy: [can you remember his house layout like was it open plan or what was the situation?] Janis: [nah we did a more closed off moment 'cos a rented house, like they had a lil hall, the garage off to one side, then the lounge then the kitchen with a table Jimmy: [okay yeah I do vaguely remember the sims house now] Janis: [so tuck in lads] Jimmy: [when it should be more awks than it is #foreverthemood] Janis: [moves so fast 'cos you so extraaaa] Jimmy: [so comfortable with each other even with all your #issues lads, love it] Janis: [#fated] Jimmy: [when you go get her a drink so you can check Twix ain't stole all Bobby's food and generally be a good big brother on the low] Janis: [yes, tis important, can't be allowed to just chill like you ain't got responsibilities] Jimmy: [she can just hear them being cute in that kitchen like] Janis: [a moment, good thing Bobby likes her when the time comes because she's not so extra with kids and in his face] Jimmy: [not always a 😒 sod, are you Jimothy? lol it's my fave when they are such a cute lil fam unit bye Ian] Janis: [we know you soft boy, and yas casually kick him out of his own home #notsoz] Jimmy: [he's back and he's raided his shit dad's stash cos never too early #fuckyouIan] Janis: [raising your brow but doing a golf clap #approved] Jimmy: [doing a cheers at her] Janis: ['you slipped the kid a nightcap, yeah?'] Jimmy: ['You wish' 😏] Janis: [😳😒] Janis: ['I meant, what passes as parenting 'round here, dickhead'] Jimmy: [to answer her question he goes to clear the table cos the little bab wants to 🎨] Janis: [get your art on babby] Jimmy: [such an unspoken I do, dickhead if there ever was one] Janis: [so domestic] Jimmy: [comes back to drink that drink and put some bollocks on the TV that neither of them care about] Janis: [standard, when you've basically downed yours 'cos nervous energy] Jimmy: [gives her a look but doesn't say anything] Janis: [a 'what?' look] Jimmy: [one back but we know he means what's wrong] Janis: [shakes head like don't worry, I'm good] Jimmy: ['Do you wanna go to my room?' Oh the MANY layers of meaning in that] Janis: [when you shrug 'if you like' but you clearly do 'cos you're halfway up] Jimmy: [when you bring more drinks as a shameless excuse to follow her cos you don't know if she meant she wants to be alone or she wants to be alone with you and you can't ask] Janis: ['purely medicinal, yeah?'] Jimmy: [a nod] Janis: [shrugs 'better than grapes' then puts out her hand 'do I get one?'] Jimmy: ['do you want one?' but in such a flirty manner that there is no need for] Janis: ['you know I do' matching tone 'cos obvs] Jimmy: ['take it then' boy you better stop] Janis: [does, sipping maintaining that eye contact honey] Jimmy: [likewise because gotta] Janis: ['stay' when you gotta add, quickly after a pause 'or I'll feel bad'] Jimmy: [when you make yourself comfortable cos you can make a big song and dance of doing it and hide how much you're dying rn 'can't have that, meant to be me' does the fakest cough of all time and 😏] Janis: ['oh right, yeah get in then' making a thing of getting your phone out and ready to give yourselves some time 'cos ultimately you're gonna hop on that bed and straight up put his head in your lap so you can take a pic stroking his hair] Jimmy: [when you pretend like she's got something on her face and you've gotta get it before any pics are taken but we know there isn't anything there and the boy is just being extra] Janis: ['better?' is she referring to her face or how he feels, we'll never know] Jimmy: [responds by taking her hair down #for the aesthetic bitch we all 👀 you just wanting to run your fingers through it bye] Janis: [still just stroking his hair but pulls it (gently calm down) when he takes hers down 'this is about you, not me'] Jimmy: ['it's about you an' all' when you gotta pause cos calm down with sounding like you care and also how much you wanna make that true in a sexy way 'whoever's story it ends up on'] Janis: [nods like alright and also what can she trust herself to say] Jimmy: [casually taking his top off like oh we should redo all of that as if anyone cares that much about the details #shameless] Janis: [when you're like true though and pull down whatever bottoms you have on like, gotta have that skin to skin moment bye] Jimmy: [trying not to die or look at her too shamelessly and failing at both lbr] Janis: [when you do an instagram story purely so you can kiss his forehead] Jimmy: [kill me tbh and I ain't even there] Janis: [how you gonna slow this down lads hohum] Jimmy: [literally cos we all know how he wants this his head in her lap situation to end and it isn't with a picture] Jimmy: [at least we have the kids and dog to cockblock] Janis: [true facts, gotta keep it family friendly] Jimmy: [me just forever being like how far can we push this before it's too far haha] Janis: [s'the point baby] Jimmy: [I'm thinking] Jimmy: [we need something #intimate to happen and bonus points if it's the first time too but idk] Jimmy: [not the #cute moment I was trying to think of but #duh while we've got them here we should do the ultimate playfight cliche since on a bed it's BLATANT and like she could poke him as a trampoline throwback cos they're still just lying there together #casual and be all I thought you'd fallen asleep cos pisstake at how tired he always is and of course like I said playfight ensues and we've got all that good shit like him tickling her and her squirming way more than necessary 👀 you both so of course he pins her down but not really cos we all know you could escape easily if you wanted to 👀 you still and SO much good eye contact and he pulls her hair and she bites her lip and he stares at it but OBVS before they can kiss Cass storms back through with a front door slam that puts Grace's school trip one to shame and has Twix wilding] Jimmy: [which leaves him nothing to do but say fuck's sake with more feeling than anyone has ever for all the reasons and go downstairs to talk to her aka have a row cos she's always in the mood and so's he now] Janis: [A+ idea boo] Janis: [whichever door they ain't at, she goes out] Jimmy: [don't blame you remotely girl] Janis: [lets some time pass] Janis: if you want anything bringing back, lmk Jimmy: ? Janis: ? Janis: what does that mean, easy enough question, ain't it Jimmy: What do you mean? Janis: that I've gone out, and if you need some milk or some shit, I'll bring some back later Janis: not offering to do a drugs run for you, soz Jimmy: and I've been out so what the fuck else would I need Janis: alright, simple no would suffice Jimmy: Would it? Janis: try it and find out Jimmy: You wish Janis: 🙄 Janis: not that arsed Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: sounds like it Janis: your lack of manners ain't my concern Janis: didn't ask you to say thanks or anything Jimmy: You can have it anyway Jimmy: tah for doing one when I'm up to my eyes here Janis: yeah, you're welcome, sarcasm ignored Janis: nothing I could do Jimmy: try it and find out Janis: like what, read your brother a bedtime story whilst you bollock your sister Jimmy: like not take the 1st chance you can to fuck off Janis: was giving you space to sort it out in private, actually Jimmy: bollocks Janis: how is that bollocks Jimmy: how ain't it? Janis: did I look ready to go out to you or what Janis: not got anything else to do in this town tonight Jimmy: Wouldn't know, didn't get a goodbye in Janis: fuck's sake Jimmy: You pissed off 'cause it got too real for you, owt else is bollocks Janis: you reckon that all you want Jimmy: Deny it all you want Jimmy: you can be full of chat about 'how this will only work if...' and how we need each other but you ain't standing by it Jimmy: gotta keep me in my box and that ain't the 4 walls of this house, yeah? Jimmy: Like I said, too real Janis: Stop being dramatic and chatting shite Janis: if that were it, I wouldn't offer to come back, would I Janis: I'd go, as planned Jimmy: Then what? Janis: what I said, dickhead Janis: I know what it is when everyone knows your family's shit Janis: I was getting out the way Jimmy: That were nowt Jimmy: you're gonna need a thicker fake skin, girl Janis: shut up Jimmy: Funny how you don't get in my way when there's washing up to be done, rich girl Janis: yeah, you caught me Jimmy: dry handed Jimmy: I know, like Janis: you're so unfunny it's unreal Jimmy: unreal is right Jimmy: you reckon you're getting my best material Janis: please, save it Jimmy: please, give me your permission again Jimmy: desperate for it, me Janis: no shit Janis: total gimp, you, s'obvious Jimmy: I get it, you want the mental pictures Jimmy: gotta do something with the alone time you've given yourself by doing one Janis: Means I've got 'em Janis: you owe me another lobotomy, or an acid deep clean Jimmy: put it on my tab, babe Janis: take it off mine and we're quits Janis: better idea Jimmy: Piss off Janis: I get it, you want me forever in your debt Jimmy: 'course I do Janis: mhmm Janis: like I said, transparent 👻 boy Jimmy: buy us 🚬 and I might let you back in 🧛 girl Jimmy: how's that for clear? Janis: pretend I don't know how much you want me back, crystal 👌 Jimmy: that's the 🐕 sweetheart, it ain't me Janis: whatever, the washing up moan was more convincing, babe Jimmy: done my convincing for the night, haven't I? Janis: part-timer Jimmy: keep it to yourself Janis: you ain't the only lad Janis: sure they'll find it very #relatable Jimmy: shut up Janis: 😂 Jimmy: such a dickhead Janis: you love being the best boyfriend in town, don't you Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Jimmy: you know the drill Janis: sure do Jimmy: You not pulling your weight only makes me look better Jimmy: so understanding and 💕 all that bollocks Janis: fuck off Janis: I do well more than you, boys just get sucked off for doing the literal bare minimum in any scenario, especially not being a total twat to girls Janis: don't get it twisted, dickhead Jimmy: you can have a 🏆 for the dance floor, that's about it Janis: bullshit Janis: you've got the easy job Janis: I've turned every bitch from saying I'm gay as a diss to being scared I'll steal their lad in no time Jimmy: You had one rumour about you 💔 I've got loads Jimmy: gotta keep up with them and prove them wrong Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: you don't listen as well as you reckon Janis: 💩 Jimmy: might be 'cause you had my 👂s off Janis: get over it Janis: how you ever cope with having a real girlfriend Jimmy: never baby 💕 Janis: idiot Jimmy: stop flirting with me for 1 sec OMG Jimmy: proper sweet talker, you Janis: about as delusional as her Janis: and as much chat Jimmy: actually 💔 now Janis: ikr Janis: imagine actually being her Janis: gutting Jimmy: you're alright, tah, I won't Janis: but you love the pain Janis: what's up? Jimmy: Better ways to get a dose of it, like inviting you down the pub Jimmy: coming or what? Janis: cute 💕 Janis: guess so Janis: have to disappoint some lads but that's just how it is when you're so in demand Jimmy: so much enthusiasm be still my 💘 Jimmy: one on the corner, I'll be the mug getting them in Janis: 👍 Janis: not been gone that long Janis: remember what you look like Jimmy: #unforgettable Jimmy: send tweet Janis: 😂 Janis: I'll sign off on that Janis: pretty odd looking, it sticks with you Jimmy: You can do better Jimmy: with insults and lads obvs Janis: 🤷 I mean Janis: I'm sure you can get lads too, mate Jimmy: 👴💕 Janis: 😂 that's why you wanna go pub Janis: how rude to invite me Jimmy: you wanted a third, babe Janis: well we gotta agree Jimmy: do owt to please you, you know that Janis: 🤤 Jimmy: 😍 Janis: cute Janis: don't reckon there's any fitting another person in your bed though Janis: have to wait Jimmy: the lounge has got loads of floor space, be alright Janis: oh right, lock the dog in the kitchen and the kids in their rooms Janis: it's a party Jimmy: 🤞 Ian's in here having an after work #sesh so I can whip his 🔑 off him an' all Janis: oh, a good point Janis: no one needs that Jimmy: Our 🎉 been pissed on 'cause I don't 👀 him Jimmy: @iantaylor8 do one, mate 👍 Janis: put a DND on the door Janis: old school Jimmy: DNR on the 👴💕 Janis: standard practice when you're 😈 Jimmy: you stopped blagging you're 😇 now then? Janis: can do both, multi-talented Jimmy: Good Jimmy: dunno how I feel about the end of an era Janis: you like good girls, huh Janis: don't be spreading that about me, tah Jimmy: don't get #badder than my ex so from now on, yeah Jimmy: but alright, your secret halo is safe Janis: 🍻 drown those sorrows, I'm nearly there Jimmy: had loads of 🍺 and 👴💕 already tah Jimmy: you'll have to go some to keep up Janis: slag 😏 Jimmy: don't be spreading that about me Jimmy: fighting lasses off every day as is Janis: you poor thing Janis: did you not think about just going gay Janis: fake gay, that is Jimmy: I know 🎻🎻 things I do for you, Jules Jimmy: just ain't believable that Janis: what, you're SO straight 😂 Jimmy: I mean, this lad at work is a right stunner but getting him to be my fake boyfriend would be a bit harder than it were getting you to make 😍 at me Jimmy: he's proper busy with the ☕ Janis: piss off Jimmy: needed a rich girl with nowt to do Janis: don't need to repeat myself, thanks, see above Jimmy: 😏 Janis: don't smirk at me cunt Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 then Janis: go away Janis: was a school trip, no one had anything better to do Jimmy: come here Janis: outside Janis: got your cigarettes Jimmy: [appears like oh hey just casually sticking his head out the door and looking around dramatically like ?? cos nerd] Janis: [🙄 'you really are a shit actor, you know'] Jimmy: [shrugs 'got everyone I need to fooled'] Janis: [a shrug 'if you say so' and holding out the pack, which she's already taken one from] Jimmy: ['you just heard me' takes one obvs] Janis: ['what's that count for' when you've bought your own lighter so you've lit your own #ultimateshade] Jimmy: [🙄 how weird it'd feel to just light his own at this point like] Janis: [awkward] Jimmy: [awkward silent moody smoking ftw] Janis: [always] Jimmy: [leaning against the wall to show how #overit you are, oh life] Janis: 😎 Jimmy: *😎🚬 Janis: thanks to me Jimmy: and what? Jimmy: 👏 Janis: begins with a t Jimmy: you are being a twat, yeah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: very clever Jimmy: 🏆🧠 Janis: go celebrate then, dickhead Jimmy: gimme chance to finish my 🚬 damn girl Janis: [walks further away to finish hers] Jimmy: [walks up to her cos that dickhead] Janis: ['What part of this aren't you getting?'] Jimmy: [just giving her a look like what] Janis: ['I said, go away, remember'] Jimmy: ['what's that count for, you said that an' all, remember'] Janis: ['you're so fucking- annoying'] Jimmy: ['Is coming here gonna make me any less annoying?'] Janis: ['what?'] Jimmy: [gestures for her to come in the pub and have a drink with him] Janis: [when you're just looking at him exasperated af but then stomp in before him] Jimmy: [gets drinks and puts hers down in front of her like there you go without asking what she wanted, bit rude] Janis: [doesn't say thanks, obvs] Jimmy: [when you've swapped awkward silent moody 🚬 for awkward silent moody 🍺] Janis: [#goals lmao] Jimmy: [truly] Jimmy: You're Jimmy: [when you deliberately are vague af] Janis: go on Janis: say what you wanna say Jimmy: You're just Jimmy: [when you shake your head like NOPE abort mission] Janis: fine Janis: [🙄 and getting up to get more drinks] Jimmy: [forever not realising drinks aren't a good idea you two, god bless] Janis: [when you're probably chatting more to the bartender than you are to the person you're with rn oh lads] Jimmy: [when seeing that'd put you in an even better mood which is great Jimothy thanks so much] Janis: [coming back, putting the drinks down, then going straight to the bogs like brb] Jimmy: [you know he'll have probably downed that by the time she gets back #suchfun] Janis: [back like okay] Janis: how many you had? Jimmy: [shrugs because not enough clearly] Janis: cheat Jimmy: 1. didn't accept no challenge Jimmy: 2. rebel with only one cause, remember Jimmy: 3. you famously don't play by the rules, why should I? Janis: 1. you said catch up Janis: 2. how can i Janis: 3. dickhead Jimmy: I said you'd have to be going some Jimmy: and you will Janis: Oh, will I? Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: crack on Janis: wow love it when you get all demanding Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: Missed you too Janis: 'course Janis: 💘 Jimmy: [just on his phone like a rude bitch, I'm like LORD let that booze kick in soon please] Janis: [lol like boy you asked her here, twice] Jimmy: [HONESTLY give it up bitch you're ridiculous] Janis: 💬 Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: your turn Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: [goes] Janis: third? Jimmy: Why you trying to make me do maths in the holidays? Janis: the maths is would you bang the barman or nah Jimmy: would you? Janis: [shamelessly staring like 🤔 at this poor man who's probably 30 odd and not cute enough to go there like soz] Janis: not by first choice, nah Jimmy: There's your answer then Janis: considerate as ever, darling Jimmy: owt to please you, I said Janis: I know Janis: but we know what I said and all Jimmy: weren't listening me Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [puts drink in front of her with a look like you alright then?] Janis: [look back like are you? but nods too] Jimmy: [drinking instead of answering] Janis: ['I can go, if you've got shit to sort'] Jimmy: [shaking his head so casually but the 👀 are like DON'T] Janis: ['good, break my heart if you sent me back to that lot' smiles weakly like joking but not really] Jimmy: ['What kind of dickhead would take the only job you've ever had and turn it round on you, rich girl'] Janis: [🙄 'imagine'] Jimmy: ['don't wanna, it's bloody tragic'] Janis: [kicks him under the table, but not full pelt lol] Jimmy: [throws a beer mat at her with an oi but also not that hard obvs] Janis: [just ripping it up casually] Jimmy: 🎊👰💕 Janis: [😏] Janis: lemme know when you meet her and I'll practice my overarm Jimmy: throw it over whoever you wanna bring back, gimme the warning Jimmy: 🤞👴 Janis: [lols] Janis: [takes a big look around and shakes head like nah, not feeling it] Jimmy: I get it, Ian still ain't showed 💔 Jimmy: I'll get some 🎻🎻 on the box for you, mate Janis: ha 🖕 Janis: after careful consideration, I can't hack being your step mum, thanks but no thanks Jimmy: take the 🐕 leave the rest, I know Janis: nah, your sibs seem fine too, sure Ian is the daddy I've dreamed him to be too Janis: it's all you 💔 Jimmy: 😭😭😭 Janis: Poor baby Janis: want comforting again yeah Jimmy: Depends Janis: yes, it will be me doing the comforting Janis: can't guarantee anyone else at such short notice Jimmy: but are you gonna do what you did before or have you got new tricks? Janis: Depends Jimmy: On how much time you can blag for yourself by borrowing mine? Not much, girl Jimmy: not if you're using that one any road Janis: no Jimmy: Go on then Jimmy: what? Janis: on what angle you're hitting 📸 Janis: only so much the Instagram guidelines allow for Jimmy: that'll be every 💕 Janis: then what do you expect Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: 🥇 for the 'gram and 🥇 comforting ain't the same thing Janis: shocking, I know Jimmy: I said nowt about the 'gram that were you Janis: Why ever else would we do it? Janis: [a LOOK] Jimmy: [gives one back] Jimmy: might fancy snapchat Janis: only if they pay Janis: 60/40 me Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: you don't need the 💰💰 Janis: don't mean I work for free Jimmy: send me a bill then, babe Janis: after Jimmy: 👍 Janis: What were you gonna say Jimmy: When? Janis: Earlier Janis: you never said what I was Jimmy: nowt Janis: bollocks Janis: you can say it Janis: heard it all before Jimmy: I dunno Jimmy: leave it out Janis: fine Janis: drink up Janis: [goes bar] Jimmy: just Janis: don't bother, why'd you tell the truth anyway, yeah Jimmy: take whatever you said about me and replay it in a northern accent Jimmy: that'll do Janis: non-committal enough Janis: idek what I said so 👍 Jimmy: sorted, like Janis: sure Jimmy: I actually dunno though, alright Jimmy: what you are Janis: racist Janis: after you made me break down my heritage too Janis: plain rude Jimmy: bit rude to say I made you, Jill Janis: well, you to a T that Jimmy: you reckon you've got me to a T, yeah? Janis: want me to say I can't work you out and all? Jimmy: Do you want me to chat bollocks or leave it for you to do? Janis: chat something Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'cos why am I here otherwise Jimmy: you wanted a drink, you've got a drink Janis: when did I ask for a drink Jimmy: no need Jimmy: I dunno how to describe you in one word that don't mean I know nowt Jimmy: could've said pisshead for a start Janis: yeah you reckoned I smoked as well Janis: nice one columbo Jimmy: and as I'm so wrong you won't want one Jimmy: [struts out] Janis: I'm gonna drink yours, twat Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: well convincing it's only social, that Janis: what do you want me to say, I'll piss in it Janis: not that committed to fucking you up Jimmy: can't ever just leave it, can you? Jimmy: goes for nowt Janis: you started it Jimmy: you Janis: you you you Jimmy: how did I? Janis: you wouldn't tell me what you said Janis: now you've pissed off Jimmy: I fucking Jimmy: I went for a smoke 'cause I can admit it's a habit Janis: Well I'm not gonna lie 'cos you wanna hear I got a drinking problem or some shit Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: I've got other ways I deal with my shit, alright Jimmy: and I'm not trying to get an invite on a run, alright Janis: What you saying Janis: smoking isn't your thing, you don't own it Jimmy: it ain't yours either, you said Janis: I can do it as and when I want Jimmy: 👏🏆 Janis: oh, fuck off Jimmy: make up your mind Jimmy: you were trying to kick off at me for leaving your side a bit ago Janis: I'm fucking tired Janis: I'm going Jimmy: Let me finish my drink that you better not have touched and we'll go Janis: You can stay Jimmy: I don't want to Janis: okay Jimmy: [reappears to down that drink like come on then] Janis: [when you go to grab his hand instinctively 'cos ages of people watching you but then drop it like it's hot like shit] Jimmy: [when you just take her hand again anyway like you gotta drag her away from here kicking and screaming lol instead of the fact you know she wants to leave so badly that you didn't even sit down to neck that pint] Janis: ['when you get up in the night, don't stand on me, like'] Jimmy: [It ain't me with the freakishly long legs, girl. How do you reckon I'm gonna make that happen from the next room?'] Janis: [pouts] Jimmy: [gives her a look like ?? but less dickhead-ish than he's been doing it] Janis: [shakes head like nevermind] Jimmy: [cups her face because he can pretend he's being fake with it if he needs to even if the genuine soft tones of his voice could give him away if he knew how much of a #softboy he is 'what, babe?'] Janis: [acts like she's gonna bite his hand literal but just pushes it away hastily 'nothing, I thought you were staying'] Jimmy: ['I'll have the floor then'] Janis: [shakes head 'don't be stupid'] Jimmy: ['You'] Janis: ['s'your bed, dickhead'] Jimmy: [You're tired, dickhead. Just take it off me'] Janis: ['can sleep anywhere, like'] Jimmy: ['my bed'll suit you alright then'] Janis: [shakes head like no point arguing on this anymore] Jimmy: [gives her a look like too right there isn't cos you're having my bed, end of discussion] Janis: ['don't sleep on the floor' what does that mean what are you wondering what do you know] Jimmy: [nods which is about as cryptic, oh lads] Janis: ['your sister beat you in a fight then too?'] Jimmy: ['you saying you fancy your chances?' it's really hard to make everything a question omg] Janis: [😏 'only heard her so I ain't making any bets with you, tah'] Jimmy: [😏 'spoilsport'] Janis: ['cheat' tuts like honestly] Jimmy: ['don't be throwing words like that about out loud, tah'] Janis: [looks around dramatically 's'fine, don't reckon they're tailing us'] Jimmy: [takes her hand again and like swings it how you do to a kid while he also looks around dramatically] Janis: ['left your brother at home, mate' but not pulling away or stopping him ok] Jimmy: [when you'd normally have some #bants about that but you're tired too so you're just walking and handholding nbd] Janis: [a nice lil moment] Jimmy: [I feel like the pub ain't that far from his house so may as well enjoy that while it lasts kids] Janis: [exactly dr phil] Jimmy: [getting back and not knowing if your dad is home or not #joys (we know he isn't but Jimmy don't have that luxury) so you immediately get tense af] Janis: [awkward, get you up in the room girl] Jimmy: [when you have to go check your siblings and tell them you're back cos you all have separation anxiety but lowkey so your fake girlfriend don't think you're weird] Jimmy: need owt? Janis: nah, I'm good Janis: thanks Jimmy: [bringing her water anyway cos you don't want the night to be over yet in case she's gone in the AM #blatant] Janis: [just smiling like 'I'll give you 5 stars'] Jimmy: ['hang on, it ain't vodka, like'] Janis: ['lucky I don't throw it in your face then' 🙄😏] Jimmy: ['least I'd impress you by catching it in my mouth if it were'] Janis: ['right little optimist, you'] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: ['what other tricks you got then, boy?'] Jimmy: [Shrugs 'Don't have a dog to perform myself'] Janis: [yawns half shade/half actual] Jimmy: [when you're just leaving like okay then] Janis: ['oi'] Jimmy: [when you've basically got a hand on the door to go but you still turn around because of course you do] Janis: ['...night then' like that weren't all bitch we all know it] Jimmy: [You gonna be cold? It's april boy I doubt it but he's taking off his hoodie or jumper or whatever soft thing he's got on and putting it on her because just he just wants touch her without making that obvious but also CARES bitch] Janis: [nods all the same 'tuck us in then'] Jimmy: [does obvs, picking her up and carrying her there first if he needs to because idk if she's stood up like him by this door or wut] Janis: [allowing it 'cos I wanna] Jimmy: [when you open your mouth to say about 40000 things but you can't so you just close it again like nothing to see] Janis: ['yeah' 'cos same boy, same] Jimmy: ['I were just wondering if I should take your breakfast order but depends if I pull another sickie or bother to go in' boy you were not such a lie but that is a good question of what to do with tomorrow I'll give you that] Janis: ['make a thing of it and they might send you a fruit basket, or a search party, risk you could take, like' shrugs] Jimmy: ['if the search party's headed up by my best customers that's a massive risk, management not as much' shrugs back and once again attempts his exit] Janis: [turning over like okay night 'smoothie was good' re. if he does go in] Jimmy: [stopping like this is a mansion instead of a box room 'we can make a thing of it either way, if you want'] Janis: ['that'll be alright, yeah' when you're saying that into your pillow like hope you can hear] Jimmy: [when you nod but she can't see you] Janis: [let him go hoe] Jimmy: [I'm gonna say he does but do a little time skip to later because he can't sleep obvs and I have no chill] Jimmy: Hey Janis: what's up? Janis: beside you Jimmy: you an' all Jimmy: why ain't you asleep? Janis: sleeps for the weak, like Jimmy: gimme my bed back then Janis: I said you could have it from the off Jimmy: Go to sleep, dickhead Janis: why Jimmy: 😴💤 Janis: I know you didn't start a convo just to see if I was asleep or nah Jimmy: might've done Janis: could've popped your head 'round the door Janis: or made a shit joke about snoring keeping you up Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: 🐕 snores louder than anyone and she's in here anyway Janis: cosy Jimmy: I'll chuck her in with you if you're 💔 Jimmy: and awake Janis: if you like Janis: thought you were coming to get your bed anyway Jimmy: Got your name on it tonight, mate Janis: come on, I don't need it Janis: I'll crash on your sofa 'til it's light Janis: gone before any of 'em wake up, easy Jimmy: I don't need it either Jimmy: but if I have to tie owt round the door to keep you in, challenge accepted Janis: 😏 Janis: really Jimmy: I mean, 🤞 I tucked you in and you'll stay in, but alright Jimmy: 🏆💪 Janis: cute Janis: say you underestimate me but it's that optimism, yeah? Jimmy: I know how much you love it, babe Janis: hmm we'll be nice and say it's refreshing Jimmy: be nice and stay put instead of me having to rig a trip wire or some bollocks Janis: alright, alright Janis: no need to go home alone Janis: how long are you keeping me captive though Janis: things to do Jimmy: least if we were I might be able to sleep Jimmy: comes to something when you're the least annoying person I've shared a bed with Jimmy: let you out when it goes from #goals to #weird Janis: charming Janis: is he asleep or Jimmy: 👑 me Jimmy: he ain't 💀💀💀 Jimmy: that'll be me tomorrow if I go work Janis: well, if you let me go Janis: can rock up at opening time and tell them how sick you still are Jimmy: if I let you go, won't see you for dust Jimmy: such an athlete, like Janis: well yeah, I will go to the gym after Janis: just hoping it's the fit one opening obvs Jimmy: get your own fit colleagues, I 😍 him first Janis: 💔 I'm faster Jimmy: that'll be why I were 🥇 in a race against you Janis: 1. you cheat Janis: 2. sure he will if you beg hard enough, don't cry Jimmy: 1. shut up I can't hear the 🎻 over you being a massive 😭 loser Jimmy: 2. piss off Janis: oh please, your one good lung would collapse before you could even eat my dust in an actual race Jimmy: long as it holds out for me to go have a 🚬 Janis: 🙄 Janis: yay or nay to the actual plan though, idiot Jimmy: Well on board for a race to my 💀💀💀 death obvs 🎊 Janis: DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL IN SICK FOR YOU OR NO Jimmy: You can calm down, your boyfriend ain't opening up, no need to shout Jimmy: nowt in it for you either Janis: not an answer Jimmy: I don't have a smoothie maker here and I ain't cashing in an IOU on that bollocks Jimmy: there you go Janis: don't need one that bad Janis: but alright Janis: go sleep then Jimmy: not out here, it's freezing Jimmy: 🤞 when I get back in Janis: all that talk of 🚬 got you excited Jimmy: keep that 💕 between us though Janis: everyone's seen you Janis: clearly your 😎 appeal is so great, they'll deal with the bad breath Jimmy: but if they ask you're my 🥇 Janis: not forgot what we're doing here Janis: don't worry Jimmy: 👍 Janis: why'd you move here Jimmy: Why are you asking me? Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Janis: why not Janis: reasonable question Jimmy: reasonable that you've said you don't need or wanna know owt about me an' all Jimmy: What's changed? Janis: got time to kill, ain't we Jimmy: and that's what you wanna do with it? Janis: not my first choice Jimmy: do whatever is then Janis: just don't answer Jimmy: 🙀 is you, Judith Janis: then Janis: ? Janis: hardly a probing question, calm down Jimmy: he got a job here, I didn't fancy being homeless so I came with Jimmy: alright? Janis: why wouldn't it be Jimmy: I dunno the answer you want Janis: erm, the one that's real Janis: not asking for a bedtime story here Jimmy: force of habit Jimmy: our kid has to have 6 Janis: one for every year Janis: classic Janis: gets a bit out of hand when 10 of you try it though so Jimmy: thank fuck Ian ain't that fertile then Janis: 🤢 don't Janis: it's fucking grim Jimmy: 💔 my face fits Jimmy: can't say I ain't his Jimmy: can't knock yours that hard if most of your lot looks like you do Janis: diversitys lacking but he ain't the only black man about Janis: 🤷 Jimmy: yeah but 10 kids looking like that would get you all the 👶🏆 regardless Jimmy: well 9 'cause there's Grace Janis: shut up 🙄 Janis: beautiful baby competitions aren't that lucrative Jimmy: sure my ex is 💔💔💔 Janis: cute then? Janis: that's something Janis: most babies are ugly Jimmy: nah she'd have to rig it Jimmy: cheating comes natural though Janis: ouch Jimmy: 🤷 Jimmy: there's your bedtime story Janis: not meant to be sad Janis: no wonder he's after 6 Janis: happily ever after, dickhead Jimmy: I ain't still with her 💍👶👰 so it were Jimmy: and far as he knows we're 💕 Janis: well I won't get pregnant to end this so Janis: still coming off favourably Jimmy: Ian will be chuffed Jimmy: and what greater seal of approval is there? Janis: idk Janis: starting to question his existense tbh Janis: 😎 runs in the genes too, yeah Jimmy: 👻 does Janis: same Janis: definitely not related Jimmy: don't worry I ain't gonna come round yours with a white sheet thrown on Jimmy: bit controversial Jimmy: stick to the burning ✞ Janis: come on Janis: be a laugh Janis: call it performance art Jimmy: til I get lynched myself Jimmy: proper outnumbered Janis: nah Janis: they're all pussies Janis: nothing like me, I told you Jimmy: you don't know I ain't Jimmy: never seen me fight Janis: protect you, go on Jimmy: lend us your lighter and I'll think about it Jimmy: mine's 💀👻 Janis: trace the burning ✞ back to me and all Janis: no idiot Janis: but whatever, one sec Jimmy: chuck it out the window, Juliet Jimmy: no need to run Janis: may as well have one myself Jimmy: I get it, you don't reckon I can catch it Janis: I know you can't Janis: also know you won't give it back Jimmy: I'll give it you back tomorrow Janis: fucking hell, if you don't wanna even sit with me, I'll go out front, like Jimmy: Shut up Jimmy: can't do tricks out front Janis: [comes out in his hoodie obvs 'cos you said it was freezing but we know she ain't taken it off, like] Jimmy: [is visibly cold af cos been out here ages and gave her his clothes] Janis: ['you idiot' coming at him with said hoodie] Jimmy: [is so much no because bitch you're keeping that] Janis: [🙄 like come here then and wrapping it round them both] Jimmy: [letting that happen because we all wanna] Janis: [rubbing his arms to warmth them 'can get the duvet if you want'] Jimmy: ['be going back in in a bit, it's alright'] Janis: [nods but pulls it tighter/him closer] Jimmy: [again letting that happen shamelessly lol] Janis: [they'd be like so face to face rn it'd be ridiculous 'cos same height, the only way you're avoiding that tension is if you put your head on his shoulder and that's not intimate at all nah] Jimmy: [when you're just playing with her hair like it's in your way and you gotta stop it from harassing you but 👀 you really boy] Janis: [scary grace impression 'don't mess up my hair!'] Jimmy: [lols 'don't do that, it's proper accurate'] Janis: [😏 'spent an unfortunate amount of time with her, least she can give me is a decent impression'] Jimmy: ['I don't want her here or the PTSD tah'] Janis: ['yeah, yeah, you want the lighter I ain't forgot' but not giving it him 'cos vital he be warmthed first obvs] Jimmy: ['I do but-' not finishing that sentence because #danger] Janis: [no escaping how hard she can look at you from this distance though] Jimmy: ['I don't wanna wake him up and the fucking dog will longer I leave going back in, so don't fight me on the floor thing when we do, alright?'] Janis: ['course', I'm not as arsehole' pauses 'I just don't see why you won't take the bed and I'll go on the sofa-' when you say this last bit faster than the rest '-or just share with me it's not like we haven't before'] Jimmy: [nods and tries not to breathe too much 'Really committed to warming me back up, you. Fine then.'] Janis: ['something like that' hands him the lighter] Jimmy: [we know the drill here, ladies first lol] Janis: [when you should really separate to smoke but you just turn so he's behind you 🥄🚬 moment ] Jimmy: [take your chance to shamelessly stare at her boy] Jimmy: [and he should blatantly take a pic because imagine how beautiful she'd look rn and the lighting would be so interesting] Janis: [do it for your 🎨 and 😍 boy] Jimmy: [honestly and it'll stop you saying or doing anything else that you shouldn't] Janis: ['do you reckon I could do it properly..model, like?'] Jimmy: ['Yeah' OMG he answered a question] Janis: [when she's surprised he don't shade her like oh but does best to hide that 'my sister is. Good way out, since I'm not getting deported'] Jimmy: ['I'll look forward to seeing your face on a billboard or whatever and saying I didn't know you' because don't you just hate when peeps pretend to be your bestie when you die/are famous, yep me and Jimmy too] Janis: ['tah, glad it meant so much to ya, mate'] Jimmy: ['It obvs meant everything to me, that's why I've gotta repress all those perfect memories, babe. Tah for that.'] Janis: [turns and 😘 with some smoke coming with] Jimmy: ['see, can't do better than you'] Janis: ['I know, I feel really bad for you, actually. Tragedy.'] Jimmy: [does the violin mime 'get in line, girl, let you jump it a bit 'cause I like you'] Janis: ['yeah?'] Jimmy: [😘 back at her because getting too real there] Janis: [catches it and turns back] Jimmy: [🚬 in silence for a bit because close call] Janis: 'what's your mate called, then?'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like he has no idea who she means] Janis: ['Barista boy'] Jimmy: ['He ain't my mate then, is he'] Janis: ['Your mans, I'm sorry'] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [nudges back like tell me then] Jimmy: ['Do your own homework, it's the holidays'] Janis: ['such a cockblock, you'] Jimmy: [😒 but trying not to let it show and doing the 💔 with his hands so she'll look there instead] Janis: ['yeah right' and pushing his hands down] Jimmy: [usual Oi and scuffle moment as standard] Janis: [just playfighting always] Jimmy: [when you're just like come on because can't stay out here forever] Janis: ['you finally done?'] Jimmy: [CLEARLY still in his jealousy and thinking about her fucking Pete so walking away] Janis: [just like um excuse me but going too 'cos not gonna stay outside to be awkward] Jimmy: [getting ready for bed moodily lol lol lol] Janis: [when you don't even know what's changed the vibe but what you gonna say, just taking the hoodie and whatever you put on your bottom off] Jimmy: [deliberately not looking at her cos you're in a sulk and can't trust yourself not to say something] Janis: [this won't be awkward at all, lads, time to cram into this bed like there's any option but to snuggle] Jimmy: [who is big 🥄 and who's little?] Janis: [if she's little he can be 'mad' about her hair in his face] Jimmy: [true just #fuming] Janis: ['night'] Jimmy: [when you don't say it back, we know you ain't asleep yet boy] Janis: ['dick'] Jimmy: [a very unamused sound in response like it's her fault you're a jealous dickhead okay then] Janis: [turning 'round in this bed which is treacherous tbh and poking him like what is your problem] Jimmy: [shaking his head because literally what can he say and don't even start me on the position of them both in this tiny bed] Janis: [such a grumpy face] Jimmy: [when she looks so CUTE that it changes your face to 😏 to hide your genuine 😍😊] Janis: ['I'd push you if I wouldn't fall too, and your brother wasn't asleep, lucky' pokes him in the chest again for emphasis on the lucky] Jimmy: ['Nah, you're well anti me being on the floor, said it loads'] Janis: ['plans change, it happens'] Jimmy: [shrugs 'ain't like it'd be the first bruise I'd had off you, least this one'd be real'] Janis: ['can be arranged] Jimmy: ['go on'] Janis: ['later'] Jimmy: ['You ain't gotta be scared or owt, do it'] Janis: ['you're too loud'] Jimmy: [does a 🤐 gesture] Janis: [just LOOKing like are we on the same page I don't think so] Jimmy: [giving her such a look back, kill me tbh] Janis: [we all know she's gonna lovebite him, like] Jimmy: [forever letting shit happen because I want to] Janis: [going hard like the time you nearly took my nip off 'cos challenged and the levels of frustration] Jimmy: [and has anyone ever bit their own lip as hard as he'd have to in this moment jfc because likewise challenged not to be a loud bitch but we know he is and wants to be] Janis: [just keeps looking up to see that struggle like 😏 but also going back in more times than is necessary like] Jimmy: [holding onto her hair not in a soft way because damn people have died struggling less than he is rn] Janis: [the struggle is shared lbr, pulling away, SOMEHOW, 'satisfied?' 😏 you know damn well neither of you are] Jimmy: [just gesturing to his closed mouth with a shrug like I'm not allowed to talk so and we all know he'd need more than a minute if he was gonna] Janis: [just, ( and not very gently), touching all the bruises she just did like 🤔 hmm] Jimmy: [dying but not stopping her because this is all so NBD of course yep] Janis: [shaking her head 'don't worry, did 'em where no one will see, can't let work know how much fun you were having in your sick bed, like'] Jimmy: I reckon the manager's a fan Jimmy: seen him scrolling Janis: well, don't let him take advantage of you, like Janis: more dubious than 🤤 Jimmy: don't do work romances me Janis: 💔 Jimmy: sure that's how my dad reckons all his feel Jimmy: probably more celebratory in reality though Jimmy: based on what they wrote in his 'glad you're fucking off' cards Janis: I get you Janis: watch out for Ian from accounts vibes Janis: not #goals Jimmy: he ain't, soz to piss on your 💍 goals Janis: oh well Janis: think of something, like Jimmy: 🏆🧠 you, like Janis: Obviously Janis: he ain't gonna be pissed off at you that I'm here, is he Janis: probably doesn't know, like Janis: can use my ninja skills Jimmy: he'd have to come home to find out Jimmy: fuck all chance of that Janis: didn't know if he had Janis: his office wifey(s), I guess? Jimmy: Why would he? I'm here, means he don't have to be Janis: yeah, who wants to spend time with their offspring Jimmy: let you know when I meet someone who does Janis: s'shit Janis: why bother reproducing Jimmy: we were all accidents, he just put his name to us Janis: I guess Janis: once is an accident, three times getting dangerously close to a habit Jimmy: full of bad habits him Janis: and not even 😎 with it Janis: actually tragic Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: oh well Janis: won't sleep with my shoes on, then Jimmy: not if you're gonna kick me Jimmy: alright for injuries, tah Janis: shut up, you wanted them Jimmy: You planning to get into the habit of giving me what I want? Janis: depends Jimmy: don't it always Janis: you tell me Jimmy: Tell you what, that it's a bad idea to go with a worse habit? Janis: worse than what Jimmy: owt I've got Jimmy: so don't do nowt for me Janis: whatever Jimmy: 👍 Janis: don't flatter yourself Jimmy: weren't Jimmy: I were flattering you Janis: sure you were Janis: you ain't more deadly than 🚬 😎boy, calm down Jimmy: you can do better, I've already said, don't have to sound like a 🚭 campaign about it, mate but if that's what gets through your 👂 to that 🧠 Janis: oh please Jimmy: begging ain't a mind changer but crack on Janis: I ain't begging no one but don't patronize me Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: [turns and gets as much space between as is physically possible] Jimmy: [finally says 'night' to her] Jimmy: [breaking that silence for it lol] Janis: [makes a similar noise of disgust] Jimmy: [then he's just moving and fussing for an age, soz about it] Janis: [doing a big sigh and getting up and out] Jimmy: ['hang on' before you can stop yourself or she can go] Janis: [looks back like what] Jimmy: [just looking at her like he did at the party when he dragged her away from Harry and was like DON'T] Janis: [when you can't just get back in 'cos you'll look stupid but you do change your plan 'where's your loo?'] Jimmy: [he tells her because idk the layout as usual] Janis: [👍] Jimmy: [just having a sad soft boy moment hoping she'll brb] Janis: [does and silently gets back in] Jimmy: [swap 🥄s kids, when you actually breathe a sigh of relief though that your bae is back #same] Janis: [should probably let them go to sleep lol] Jimmy: [just gotta have him whisper that he's sorry when he reckons she is but yeah sleep and snuggle guys]