#i'm really just trying to find a way to save my unfinished fics without actually finishing them my apologies

[starlesswritings]

✰ * ˑ › ° ◦ &&. whispered trust.

Jamil woke up late. That was already an irregular event in and of itself, but even more strange was where he woke up, and how. How, meaning specifically, the fact that he awoke to his hair being braided by gigantic tan hands and an enormous version of Kalim.

He blinked wide owlish eyes up at the dark yet bright man before his voice cracked and he squeaked, "What?"

Kalim brightened instantly. "Jamil! You're tiny, now!"

Jamil Viper did not wake up with the intention of having to experience this shit in his life. He was no bigger than from Kalim's wrist to his fingertips. He felt himself burn with the shame and embarrassment. He was absolutely tiny. Very small. Too tiny. He was literally the size of a hand. Kalim's hand, to be exact, and while that wasn't the shortest in the world, it clearly indicated that something was wrong.

"What... How — I'm small."

Do not panic. There was no reason to panic. He was still alive. There was, at the very least, that going for Jamil. He was alright, really! He was totally okay! So good! Nice! Awesome. What did it matter that he was the size of the tiniest little person — smaller than a faerie or even an actual dwarf? He was alive, he was healthy otherwise (probably — hopefully) and that was good enough —

"You're so adorable! The cutest! You look so squishy too —"

"AHHHHHHHHHH —"

—————

Kalim watched as Jamil effortlessly swung himself around the halls in his tiny form, not completely hindered by his newfound lack of height, but not at all enjoying himself as he tried to navigate how to live at the size of... a tiny little person. He was just tiny. Absolutely adorable if one thought on the positives, but Jamil didn't necessarily see it that way. He was, after all, forced to not do everything himself and rely upon the one person he really didn't want to have to rely on.

Still, that mattered little! Jamil was a big (small?) boy who could bite the bullets he didn't want to bite. He was a grown up. Very mature. So mature (okay, none of them were very grown up but who was counting their ages? Certainly not Kalim!). Jamil didn't make it too big of a problem and eventually settled into his life as a small being until Professor Crewel could brew a potion to remedy the slight ailment (slight ailment being the Professor's words, not Kalim's nor Jamil's).

"Wait up! Let me get the door for you!" Kalim shouted as he found Jamil struggling in an attempt to quite literally scale the door to get to the handle from the ground. "It's a good thing we're in mostly the same classes!"

Jamil's skin was too dark to tell very well, but he might have blushed ever so slightly at that. "Yeah. I suppose it works out well." He hurriedly fled into the classroom as if running faster would help with the stares and the whispers crowding from all directions without mercy at the very strange appearance he had taken on.

He didn't want to live life like this. It was simply too much to ask for, but literally, what could he do? There was little he could do that would change his situation. Though it angered him, Jamil had to do what must be done. The stares only grew more in intensity.

"Aw, look at the Vice Housewarden of Scarabia! He's so small!"

"Tiny!"

[thegrimreaperisanerd]

hi :) binge read your de fic that you have posted on ao3 last night and really enjoyed all of it! excited to see any updates. was wondering if you have any rec for other fic youve read and enjoyed-- i am not god's bravest soldier and do not enjoy trudging through tags and was wondering if you had read anything yourself that you really enjoyed lolol

Hey, thanks so much!!! Sorry it's taken a couple days to answer this, I'm poor as shit and have two jobs now wah... capitilism...

I'm working on the next 46' chapter, It's about 70% complete and I generally let it sit for an evening once it's done then re-read it the next day to catch the vast majority of mistakes (I edit everything myself) so I'd say expect that in the coming days.

I have some thoughts! I... Have never been asked for fic recs before so I'm gonna list a bunch in no particular order that I enjoyed, and reasons why. I will note that I tend to enjoy meaty plot-based works over fluff, so that's what I'll be recommending. Anyway!

Paddling Out (THE REPEATER CORPSE CONUNDRUM) - @transhitman - So this is the first DE fic I read and it set the bar pretty fucking high. YOU'VE GOT: a very cool and insular setting (don't get me wrong I like fics where they travel around Revachol too, but there's something to be said for building a set and living in it for a while) YOU'VE GOT: extremely harrowing tension and pale-fuckery YOU'VE GOT: some genuinely beautiful, heartfelt moments (I don't want to spoil anything but "people don't need your permission to care about you" kinda undid me) YOU'VE ALSO GOT: Amazing art?! Always a bonus, I wish I could draw people lol

Have You Heard The News That You're Dead? - Wizardlover - Time Loop shenanigans hell yeah! Basic premise: Kim is *unable* to save Harry's life after he's shot at the tribunal, each time he dies he Reawakens in Martinaise on the first day and desperately has to try and find a way to either prevent the Tribunal entirely, or survive it. I think the major draw to this one is how well it's characterised and how well that lends to the major source of tension: trying to convince THE WORLD'S BIGGEST SKEPTIC that you *a man he 'has only just met'* is actually stuck in a time loop. Juicy shit.

The Case Of The Man Who Two-Thirds Wasn't There - @glisteningceruleaneyes - We got another case fic here, gang. This is one of those "they travel around Revachol" numbers I previously mentioned. A lot to love about this fic; the minor OCs are all loveable (or at least well-written, looking at you Mr. Bigot-All-Rounder), the elements of writing in the game's style (particularly use of Harry's 'to do' list that you find in the ledger, you don't see that as often!) are all fantastic. Also without spoiling too much I'm a sucker for hurt/ comfort :) I like when bad things happen to our specialist guy :) ALSO! alternating chapters, Kim vs Harry's perspectives contrast REALLY well! Just a super enjoyable read. - On that note I also wanna include a special mention: there's a podfic for this one and since I mentioned my two jobs, I've been listening to audiobooks at work (I'm a cleaner. It's very boring) and that was a fun change of pace!

The Emergent Causeway - hal_incandenza - Now you KNOW this one is good because it's the only *unfinished* fic I'm recommending. Again, We've got art! We've got a brand new (non-Revachol!) setting that still feels excellently Elysium! We got that excellent balance of humour and misery from the get go! EXCELLENT murder mystery so far, I am intrigued AND also there's a fucking puppy. Hell yeah. This one's from Kim's perspective and does a really good job of it, nothing like a man being begrudgingly sent on holiday and being somewhat relieved to have a corpse to deal with.

A Spilled Kaleidoscope - @spilledkaleidoscope - I'm actually recommending a series here. Real definition of "came for the art, stayed for the writing" I mostly have a soft spot because I got to watch a few "haha, what if-?" musing text posts become a series of written chapters and INCREDIBLE DRAWINGS HOLY SHIT. Like, you really just draw hands for fun, huh? This person made a pact with some sort of devil beasts to draw hands very good, at the bare minimum we can read their fiction.

Nothing To Lose But Our Chains - Lepak - I almost forgot this one and I honestly can't believe it because this is one of these ones that you need a cigarette afterwards. Good fucking god. This is probably the best fic I've ever read in terms of not shying away from the heavy themes that make Disco Elysium such a beautiful, moving game. It tackles a racism in many forms, particularly how people like Kim (in working for the RCM) and immigration laws do their part in upholding racist systems, despite the way it hurts him too. Of course, it's also excellently written with tense scenes and some real funny moments. A real good'un here.

The Catacomb Killer - SupposedToBeWriting - Give Harry more memory loss. Make him convinced he killed a kid. Make *Kim* convinced he killed a kid... Then the plot thickens. I won't lie I can't remember fuck all about this one because I was mostly drunk when I read it, but if it was good enough that I kept reading instead of smoking a spliff or something then it must have been excellent... I will re-read it when I have the time, lmao.

MURDER ON THE AIRWAVES - @randomisedmongoose - I'm just a really big fan of murder mysteries and gore. You show me somebody with brain matter pouring from their earholes and I'm like "yum yum, more of that please." I am a sucker for curious methods of murder and this one's good for that. Lots of trekking back and forth like in the game again. More ACAB - always good.

I did not mean to include this many...........................

Oh well. Here's my list, there are plenty of others I've enjoyed but these are just the ones that came to mind! Thanks again for reading my fic! Always makes me happy when people let me know they enjoy my writing :3

[atonalginger]

5.) first sentence of the fifth paragraph of an unpublished WIP 18.) if you keep them, share a deleted sentence or paragraph from a published fic 19.) the most interesting topic you’ve researched for a fic

24.) how do you recharge when you’re not feeling creative?

30.) share a fic you’re especially proud of

*cracks knuckles* alright let me get to digging for these *opens several docs*

5. 1st sentence of the 5th paragraph of an unfinished wip. hmmmm (*hides face* omg the 5th paragraph in just about every chapter of both active wips is short dialogue. ....I don't know what this says about me)

Have no fear, I found something that isn't a random dialogue that would make zero sense without context:

The worst part of it all, Del had pointed out once his tears had run dry and his intensity had been drained to a place of eerie zen, was that they couldn’t do much of anything.

18. This one required some digging because when I discard things from a wip it gets messy on where the words land. But I do have a few fragments that got tossed in the scrivener 'trash bin' instead of straight deleted. This was the beginning of a chapter in Starborn Saga that never ended up making the cut. At the beginning of the third act when Starborn! Sam is in a certain facility I originally planned on having a break between Lila and Goose's conversation and his exit where this (and more that was never written) would be.

Where the fuck are you, Raphael? Sam waded through the muck and debris of the ruined facility. He had the frequency meter hooked to his belt, his tombstone at the ready for anymore locals that might pop around the corner. He wanted to do the right thing here. For all the times he just shot his way through a locale, he felt it wrong to leave Raphael behind. Though with how this universe was, it might be a kindness to let him cease to exist. But what would they think? He could just see Ethan and Lila’s faces if they learned he didn’t even try. So he made another pass through the ruined facility looking for the doomed scientist. One more pass before he gave up and took the elevator down to end the lockdown.

I just couldn't get the scene to flow in a way that held attention. It felt like too much. so it went into the bin.

19. most interesting thing I've researched for a fic...I got two. One is actual research and the other was just a really interesting thing I discovered.

a. the most interesting thing I've researched for a fic is dancing for Ranger and the Deputy. both salsa and tango. I watched instruction videos, read about the moves, and watched a lot of dance videos from competitions and what not. This doesn't mean I know how to do either dance but I can now better understand the movements and patterns when watching a video. At least enough to write it. I think...I also ended up finding a deep love and appreciation for salsa and tango music. I'd always enjoyed it but like passively...I have playlists saved now levels of enjoyment from the research.

b. my interesting find is that in Fallout 4, where the map is shrunk down from the IRL Boston region of MA, it took around 6-7 hours to walk from the Dugout Inn in Diamond City to whereabout Greentop nursery sits up near Sargus Ironworks. This includes engaging enemies that attack and not sprinting. I then went to google maps, found Fenway Park (Diamond City) and plotted a course to where I think Greentop Nursery is supposed to be (approximatively) thinking I'd get a far bigger number....NOPE! Google says it would take around 6 hours in perfect lab conditions to get from Diamond City to Greentop. Fun little tidbit.

24. I don't have a good way to do that, actually. I try to play video games or find a different outlet to try to stimulate the creativity but a lot of times when I feel in a creative funk I just end up 'pacing the cage' bouncing from site to site moping at my desk. I should get better at not doing that...

30. A fic I'm especially proud of...*stares in panic* you want me to showcase one of my works heehe haha yeah! *clears throat*

this is hard because I'm very scared to toot my own horn but I am pretty darn proud of Ranger and the Deputy. Brainstorming started in November, first upload hit ao3 at the end of December and I uploaded the last chapter in the middle of March. The whole thing came together quickly and I'm pretty darn proud of the story arcs. Especially the third. I'm letting those two rest now...I'd like to work with Kitty and Ranger!Del again but I have other ideas to get out first...

[kats-kradle]

Hi hello yes I actually found your blog while I was looking for Ronon Dex whump, something there is not nearly enough of, and I just wanted to say that should you ever want to share your thoughts about him, whump-related or otherwise, I'm around to hear them,,, I care him very much (which is why I like to see him hurt... funny how that works).

OHOHOHOHOHO DID SOMEONE SAY THE MAGIC WORDS “RONON WHUMP”????? And yes there is not NEARLY enough Ronon whump!!! Buckle up I don’t think you know what you’ve unleashed by offering to let me talk about this XD i have 43 (i counted thats not an exaggeration) unfinished fics where i whump this man so i have A Lot of Thoughts on this so i’ll try to keep my headcanons and general thoughts from getting mixed up so here we go (also I haven’t actually seen past season 3ish but I know like everything)

Just general thoughts

I just love the team dynamic in general the actors had great chemistry with each other

They don’t whump Ronon enough and that is A Crime.    

But when they do whump him OH BOY ITS GOOD

Just off the top of my head I can think of     the episode where John and Elizabeth were possessed by those people who     wanted to kill each other and ronon got SHOT that was dope especially when     it showed the surgery but I was so mad there was no aftercare

Also just the fact that after Ronon was shot the guy possessing John said (about John) something like “if only you could hear him right now he is screaming so loud” or something to that effect and I’m not really a John whumper but oh boy the thought of John fighting as hard as he could to try and get control back because he wants to help Ronon rlly adds to the experience

After atlantis flies and John is going around checking the damage and he finds Ronon with the shard of glass in his shoulder juts the way he kneels down next to him is so soft and his voice goes soft too its great

I haven’t gotten there yet but ohoho the enzyme episode where Ronon gets drugged and then has to go through withdrawal ohooho I may have watched that scene a few hundred times

I just love also how fiercely loyal Ronon is and how much he trusts them

That ep where those villagers were going to give them to the wraith and Ronon literally would rather die than let his friends be taken to the wraith I love how John and Teyla go through like  45 heart attacks that’s one of the ones I haven’t gotten to yet but ive  seen gifs and oh boy oh boy does it look good

The way I generally describe Ronon is he’s     like a bug fluffy dog. Like he’s kind of silly sometimes and he’s very     loyal and will kill without hesitation if it means keeping his friends     safe

Also just that whole scene when Ronon arrives     when John is asking Elizabeth if he can stay is just like a kid asking his     mom if he can keep a dog he found

And Ronon has such a sweet smile also I love it when hes happy (but also I love it when hes in pain)

Stargate Atlantis was very well directed because for most definitions of “good acting” you can see “oh this character is sad. Now they are happy” which I do understand that many people prefer  this because they have difficulty interpreting facial expressions but I absolutely adore how subtly expressive the actors are because to me it’s fascinating to decode what the character is feeling. They act like real people and talk in the way real people would and it seems super natural and not scripted, and you can just tell in their interactions that the characters care for each other a lot and its beautiful

Now that I’ve said something vaguely scholarly-like its time to move on to the mess of headcanons

Headcanons

So when rewatching season 2 with my sister I realized the amazing potential for angst involving Kell (his old commander who he killed) so in my mind even though he’s very loyal to John at first it was more of a “you saved my life now I’ll watch your back because I owe you” and he had difficulty trusting any of them but especially John this changes over time ofc but he can’t help being wary of command 

I also hc that Kell  would punish the soldiers in his division for being “unfit” for battle so like if they broke a leg or something they would be punished�� (this is mostly just for my guilty pleasure of ANGST) so that way they     would “be more aware” of their surroundings and whatnot 

Also disobey direct  orders was a big no no and you know how laid back John usually is with  orders so the first time Teyla disobeyed a direct order after Ronon joined the team John was grumbling about it in a way Teyla knew wasn’t serious but Ronon just kind of panicked and started lying his ass off and saying he threatened her into doing it and he should take the punishment which led to an awkward conversation (awkward for Ronon, it left his teammates ready for some murdering)

He hides injuries  because he was alone for so long and never had anyone to take care of him so he just forgets that he has to mention it and in his mind some injuries might not be that bad 

Beckett is constantly  chasing him around after missions desperately trying to get him to hold  still for long enough to do a check

Ronon hates pain medicine because it tends to dull his senses so in his mind all the more  reason to avoid Beckett

He is really good friends with Beckett but just not when he’s hurt

Usually he wanders into the medbay after bad nightmares if Beckett is on night shift and will just sit there

One time he hesitantly asked if Beckett could check to make sure that the tracker was actually gone for good

Ronon was expecting to get laughed at but Beckett took the request with the upmost seriousness and ran all the tests he could think of to calm Ronon’s fear

One time Ronon stumbled into the medbay and he obviously hadn’t slept in a while and was flinching at every noise so Beckett made up an excuse to “take some blood to test and see if it would be compatible with vaccines for the common sicknesses  humans get” and just like. Sedated him. Ronon felt betrayed at first but quickly realized that Beckett only did it because he cared about him and wasworried. He did try to get more sleep after that tho

Oh and you can bet Beckett goes off at him if he ever ends up in the medbay which he does to everyone but  especially Ronon because usually he’s either dragged there or he’ll come  in like “yeah so three days ago for the last mission I got hit in the side and now I’m coughing up blood so…” and then will just like pass out

While he was a runner he trained himself to be a light sleeper so adjusting to Atlantis was difficult because the ocean would wake him up every night at first

Also thunderstorms are The Worst to him because 1. It gives him PTSD for when he was a soldier and the wraith were attacking and 2. When he was a runner thunderstorms were almost a death sentence because the wraith could track him but he couldn’t hide he couldn’t hear and he couldn’t see so yeah thunderstorms are real bad for him

He has a constant fear of leading the Wraith to his new home and his new family oh also I decided that he doesn’t know if his mother died or not so every place they go he’s hopeful he’ll see her

This is a hc I had before I knew it was basically canon but he and the team hang out in the cafeteria a lot especially after nightmares they just all gravitate there

Also I haven’t gotten here yet so I’m just going off of what I know but he kind of tried to leave after Beckett died because he managed to find a way to blame himself also one of my hcs is that Beckett would tell him  about Scotland all the time and had decided that if they ever got the opportunity to go to Earth then Ronon was coming to Scotland with him sooo     ehehhe the angst of Ronon going to earth for Beckett’s funeral and going     to Scotland with Beckett but not in the way either of them wanted

On to softer hcs just cuz

He loves hugs. 7 years of being alone would  make anyone want a hug.

Children gravitate to him for some reason. Logically it doesn’t make sense because he’s so big and a bit intimidating but children just adore him

He carries extra snacks for Rodney

He can’t swim. Somehow he went his entire life without knowing how to swim which Rodney is astounded by and goes on about it for a minute or so

John took it upon himself to give him swimming lessons. John was a terrible teacher but Ronon managed to get the idea

He loves cocoa, specifically loaded with marshmallows. Teyla jokes he likes the marshmallows more than the cocoa

Wow this has gone on so much longer than I thought it would

So that’s it! you unleashed the beast. I now demand to hear your thoughts on ronon because boy oh boy hes a great whumpee and im not sure ive met many if anyone who likes to whumpe him so im super excited!!

[onewomancitadel]

I just read your Knightfall fanfic and it is amazing! I absolutely loved the dialogue between Cinder and Jaune, as well as the descriptions of the settings/characters. The way you used, "scorched honey" to describe Cinder's eye was just perfect.

As for another theory parallel between Jaune and Cinder. The Relic of Choice was hinted to be at the Tower, the type of building Salem was trapped in originally until Ozma rescued her. What if Jaune rescued/redeemed Cinder from the tower in a sense which supports the reverse Salem/Ozma relationship. There's also the fact that Cinder's turning more Grimm, so while the start of Jaune/Cinder (not officially mind you, but kind of like the start of a relationship between the two) could be Cinder turning from (almost) Grimm back to human, Salem and Ozma's relationship continued while Salem turned into a Grimm. At least, that's what I got from the reverse Salem/Ozma tags. Thoughts?

T_T T_T T_T thank you so much for this ask, I'm glad you enjoyed it <3 <3 that's all a fanfic author wants in life <3 <3 (scorched honey line - I try to simplify my writing because I have a tendency for the verbose, but I can't help myself for the imagery lol - and I love the duplicity of it, burnt yet sweet, it just makes me think of everything perfect and complex about Cinder, anyway now I am just gazing into my own river reflection lolololol PLEASE I want to talk about these things without sounding up myself. I just love fanfic so much, because I can express how much I love these characters and story like this).

Re: the second part of your ask: you are absolutely right, and I actually find Beacon Tower's iconography highly suspicious (like, Ozpin's latest and greatest incarnation basically locked himself back up in there, and he was only 'freed' from it by Cinder, which allows Oscar to meet Ruby, which allows Ruby, on that rooftop, to unlock her silver eyes... it all comes back to towers, back to Salem when she was but a girl).

So in this respect Cinder and Ozpin have already played out more Salem/Ozma business. But I think it's still yet unfinished (especially because they did not have the correct dance partners yet), and wherever the Relic of Choice is hiding, I don't know, but I wonder if it's sentimental to Oz? If it were, I would have thought Salem would know, but maybe she's forgotten; the way the new generation reinvigorates these old ideas of soul, spirit, beauty, justice, redemption, by remembering the secret hiding spot, Jaune and Cinder retreading ground, I don't know, it's very suspicious and I love it. I think a significant event will take place there, especially as you brought to my attention the pronounced Indecisive King and the Relic of Choice parallels.

And yes you are absolutely bang on the money: Salem's Grimm corruption occurred after losing Ozma, and she has remained this way, whereas Cinder's purification (I use this in a purely ceremonial sense - I don't mean she's tainted) will occur after joining with Jaune. So these are reverse events: enemies to lovers, Grimm to human vs. lovers to enemies, human to Grimm (so structurally reflect one another as well). In my opinion. That is.

I also contend that Reverse Salem/Ozma is actually an overarching relationship theme of ALL major RWBY canon ships (particularly the theme of 'trust' - not just simply love), but Jaune/Cinder is actually the most on-paper obvious example and likely the most dramatic and one crucial in our most desperate hour (see: the Relic of Choice being the final Relic at large).

Err so like, any more ideas I have about this I have to be honest, I've saved for my fic LOL!!! But yeah I really think a proper Salem/Ozma parallels write-up is in order, I do have a secret Knightfall manifesto sitting in a Word Document but it's mostly unhinged colour theory. (I'm now reading this pseudoscientific book from the 19th century on chromatology and the power of the colour blue to give life to earth. It's bizarre. I love it).

But yes, one last thought which occurred to me, and mostly speculation: Cinder is perpetually 'stuck at midnight' (so on the nose: Evernight, Salem's home base), and the Tower is full of clocks and gears, and well, I don't know, the theming of time and towers is doing something for me lol. It is sort of poetic that that would be the moment 'time starts again': where Salem was first freed, where the story has been picked back up to be finished, since Salem's conflict has been exhaustive, drawn out, neverending.

Thank you for your lovely ask, you have no idea how excited I am talk about this ship <3333333

[ziva-david]

I can’t sleep so I’ve been going through my old fics. This is the unfinished follow up to my ugly Christmas sweater fic. Although I never finished it, I was really proud of this scene and would love to hear your feedback on it. (Ps I suggest reading the first part otherwise it will probably be confusing)

“This would happen to me. I mean can't even have a successful one night stand, so might as well add in a pregnancy to the mix." Ellie cried as she placed the pregnancy stick on the laminate counter, and set a timer on her phone for five minutes.

"You want to know what the funny thing is?" She asked while she slowly slid down the vanity and went into the fetal position on the floor.

"What?" He gently asked, unsure as to where she was going with this.

(Nick couldn’t help, but find the irony that even while she freaked out over the possibility of being pregnant, that was the position she contorted to, to try and find comfort. He wouldn’t point out though, he’s not that big of an asshole).

"The reason I agreed to this was because your mom reminded me so much of my own. And I didn't want to let either of them down. God, my mom loves Jake. And I didn't know how to go back home without a ring on my finger. I'm the only girl in my family and I'm the only one who is not married. And now I'll be going home not just ringless, but pregnant." She sobbed.

"Look we don't even know if you are pregnant." Nick whispered, as he moved in closer to hold her while she cried on the floor. "But if you are, you won't be alone. I-I will marry you, and I'll be here the entire time, every step of the way."

"We haven't even known each other for three weeks."

"It doesn't matter. If you choose to keep it, our kid will be amazing." He told her as he repeatedly ran his fingers through her hair.

"You think so?"

"Oh yeah, our kid will be beautiful, and totally smart. But my genes will come in and save it from being a complete and total nerd, like their mom." The nerd comment earned him a smack on the arm, but she started to laugh and relaxed into him which made it worthwhile.

"I guess you're right, our kid will be pretty cute." Ellie agreed as she snuggled in closer to him.

"Cute? Please. Our kid is going to be a total heartbreaker."

"Yeah, I can imagine that now: dark curly hair and your eyes."

"And obviously the kid will be lighter than I am, but genetically they'll get enough melanin from me that they won't fry whenever they're outside."

"Genetically? Melanin? Look at all those scientific words coming out of your mouth. I guess you're a nerd after all."

"Shh don't repeat that ever again you can't let anyone know." He joked, then shifted to a more serious tone as he added: "Most importantly though our kid will be loved, I promise you that."

"You're right." She agreed smiling as she looked straight into his eyes; hers were puffy and red, but tears no longer escaped out of them."We can do this! We are going to be amazing parents."

"Yeah, we are." He agreed as she pulled him into a bear hug. Sometime during their conversation, without him even noticing, she climbed into his lap and straddled him at the waist.

“Is it too early to think about names?” Ellie whispered into his ear as if she was afraid someone else would hear her.

“Probably.” He said which caused a frown to appear on her face and him to inturn feel the need to add: “But nothing about this is conventional, so who cares?”

He knew they were treading in dangerous waters, but apart of him was genuinely excited over the idea of having a kid. Not because it was the right thing to do - no, his reason was he actually wanted a child. He wanted to protect them from the imaginary monster under the bed, to cheer them on at every soccer game or ballet recital. Someone to teach right vs wrong to… Someone he could love unconditionally with all of his heart.

“If it's a girl we should name her…” Ellie paused for a couple of seconds tugging her bottom lip between her teeth as she thought, “Oh, Alessandra!”

“Alessandra?” He repeated, surprised that was the name she came up with.

“Yeah, Alessandra Torres. I like how it sounds, and Alee can be her nickname.”

“I think we’re going to have a son.”

“Oh yeah and let me guess, you want to name him Nicholas.”

“Well I mean, I am pretty awesome.”

“I think naming our son after you will leave him destined to inherit your ego.” She laughed and he couldn't help but return her smile. It was amazing to hear her say “our son,” it reiterated how much he loved the idea of having a little human that was 50% her and 50% him. Sure in an ideal world he would know the mother of his child way better than he actually did, but he did not care about that.

“It wouldn't be a bad thing for him to have my ego, he’d get all the hot girls.”

“Oh my God.” She laughed, “Not if he's at your level of cocky.”

“It worked on you.” He smirked, earning himself another smack on the arm. “What was that for? I'm just stating the facts.”

“Shut up!”the two sat there for a while, the only thing that could be heard were their chuckles. Her legs wrapped tighter around his waist, as she rested her forehead on his shoulder. His hands found their way back to her head as he slowly ran his hands threw her hair. It wasn't an attempt to comfort her as it was before, this time it was because he himself felt comfortable. Yes, he was terrified, but he was also content. He wanted this.

“Honestly though, I don't care.” Nick said out loud without even realizing it.

“What?” She questioned, eyebrows furrowed together as she lifted her head off of his shoulder to look straight at him.

“I don't care if it's a boy or girl, as long as our kid is healthy. And safe. And… happy.” He admitted.

“With you as the father of course our kid will be.”

Her phone started to vibrate on the counter above them to alert that five minutes was up, and just like that he was brought out of their dream world and back to reality. The reality where he isn’t sure whether or not a baby was even existing. The few seconds it took her to get on her knees, turn off the alarm, and grab the stick from the counter felt longer than the previous five minutes they spent waiting.

"Not pregnant!" She exhaled a breath he didn’t even notice she was holding, and that's when he noticed it: her relief. While she was finally able to breathe again, he felt like all the oxygen was swept out of the room. "I guess our kid will be a nice fantasy. Thank you, Nick, for everything you said. It was really comforting." She gave him a quick peck on the cheek, but her lips felt burned into his skin even after she moved away.

He stayed sitting with his back against the vanity, while Ellie stood up to make herself presentable again. She put some tap water on her face and then dried it off with a hand towel.

Everything Nick felt confused him. In what world does a man actually want to raise a child with his one night stand? Growing up he always heard stories of love at first sight, which he did not believe to be realistic as kid nor does he as an adult, but that cliche seemed a lot more feasible than what he desired. All he felt now was naive and stupid, and his brain did a constant replay of her look of relief when she read the negative test. She was a random girl heartbroken over some other guy, and the only reason she was with his family was so she did not have to face her own. He was a moron.

"I guess, we should go tell your family since they're probably dying to know." when he did not reply she tried again, “Nick?”

“What?” He asked still stuck in a state of disbelief.

“I think we should tell your family.”

“Yeah.” He agreed unable to look up at her, his gaze was stuck on the floor.

“Are you okay?” She asked while crouching down beside him, he still did not avert his eyes off of the ground.

“Yeah, I-I” He stumbled out not sure how truthful he should be, “I just got caught in the moment that's all.” Once he stood up he finally looked at her - her boney collar bones, her neck that (finally) no longer had the hickey he left on it, her long blonde hair - anything but her eyes. He knew if he looked into her eyes he would crack, and the last thing he needed to do was breakdown in front of her. Or anyone for that matter. He did not want anyone to know the way he really felt. “C’mon.” He said as he opened the door and guided her out.

It was like a replay of the morning after when he tried to get her out of his apartment while his mother was in the bathroom. And just like the night they fucked she used him as an emotional soundboard, she even straddled him this time too. It was the perfect cinematic parallel for the made for tv movie that was his life.

They remained silent for the short walk from the bathroom, out the bedroom and into the hallway. Just as Nick predicted, every woman inside the household gathered outside the door and waited for the news.

“Well?” Lucia asked the question he knew they all wanted know.

“It was just food poisoning.” Nick awkwardly scratched his neck while he replied.

[pomegranate-belle]

I'm having like massive fucking difficulties picking a mere 500 words from MK1-END, so I kinda want to just give you the entire section beginning 'The elevator is locked, and there’s no way out. They’re all going to die.' and ending 'What’s happening around her, around them, fades away, but she can feel soothing heat and sadness and an ache in their chest,' and let you decide how much from that you want to do, and how.

Oh boy, I have a feeling this is gonna get long but… Oh welllmao

Ok, so… This first part is sort of the first time we’reseeing into the main ZTD cast – like, before that there’s sections that shiftaway from Kyle and Maria, but they’re short and they’re still tangential to thejourney those two are taking. But it’s way, way more exciting to have Kyle-Mariashow up from a different point of view than theirs. Also I might have some CSexperience but I know -5 about hacking, I am admitting that now, that wasdefinitely part of the reason the narrative shifted away from them at thatspecific moment lol

After that, it kind of devolves into Delta, and Delta’sthought process. I’m gonna be honest with you I wasn’t really… Convinced bywhat he says in ZTD and I think that ended up reflecting here. I think I kepthis arguments relatively in line with the ones he makes in the game, but I hadthe others, Maria especially, cut in with my objections to his logic. The wholestory is about Kyle and Maria working together, sharing their strength back andforth to save their families, but when they argue against Delta in unison, thatwas the one thing I really wanted them to connect on. The idea that they’d hadtheir worlds manipulated by him and that instead of just acquiescing they wererejecting his right to do that.  

It’s sort of the climax of the story, I think. In the sensethat it’s a culmination of their shared strength and their determination tochange the timeline they’ve been put into. But the part immediately after:

“You’re lying,”Maria realizes slowly.

Her lips are numb,and she doesn’t quite know the meaning of what she’s seen, but it’s there.Something, huge, something he’s not telling them. She thinks it must be aboutLeft, but she’s never been able to learn enough about him or about Free theSoul to be able to determine now what Delta’s motives truly are.

That was actually one of the first parts of the story Iwrote. And it really reflected my own views when I reached the ZTD True End forthe first time. We never got the backstory about FtS that we were promised, soeven though I was absolutely certain Delta was lying to us, there wasn’t enoughcontext to figure out why or about what.

And then we return to the gun. It’s er… Well, I guess wecould call it Chekov’s Gun, couldn’t we… I tried not to draw direct attentionto it, but the question of ‘where’s the gun, who’s holding it, where is itpointed’ was on my mind the entire scene inside the Test Facility. Which ofcourse leads to the gun ending up in Diana’s hands. Sort of a mirror to themoment in the game where we put her in a similar situation as Delta does here.I always knew I wanted it to be her. Eric is the gun-happy nutbar, but Dianaand Delta’s relationship is too interesting not to try and play with like that.

Maria jumping into Delta’s body was also something I wantedto explore kind of from the beginning. Just because we the player (or in thecase of this fic’s canon, Maria herself) were inside Delta’s PoV the wholetime. The thought of going back to it knowingly, even though she didn’t wantto, was interesting. And the truth is that the part about him not letting go ofher… My brain was absolutely 100% on that scene near the end of Anastasia lmaosorry Delta you are Rasputin now.

And then, after all the drama, I had to insert a littlelevity. Thus the “oh no she’s hot” exchange, which was an enormous amount offun to write. And it was a good transition into the Phi/Maria from the prompts.They (obviously) don’t interact in canon, so it was tough to try and find adynamic for them and a way to parse the attraction so that it wouldn’t read astoo sudden and unrealistic. With ? being Maria, I had a lot more leeway withthat, since she ended up getting to know everyone from VLR really well bydefault. But I mean, being the big fucking romance dork I am, I had to do the Lady-and-the-Tramp-esquebit where they touch hands.

I added in my own little headcanon about ZTD Dr. Klim – I’msure if you look at my old ZE posts it’s there somewhere – being the youngSigma from VLR. I was very proud of that bit because time loops always N

I couldn’t resist Carlos scolding Maria for the cuss words,probably because that stupid “Language!!” gag from AoU was on my brain. I alsocouldn’t resist namedropping Dio because I just gd love that garbage clone.What a fucking tool.

The exchange afterwards between Dr. Klim and Diana was atough one. Not in the sense that it was difficult to imagine the exchange, butin that I wasn’t really sure how to resolve it. Of course Dr. Klim was havingthe same problem, so maybe that’s why it worked out in the end. I think Idefinitely drew on a lot of Doctor Who related angst for that exchange.Everything from the Journey’s End exchange to that phone call in Deep Breath.The idea that the version of the person that you love is gone and a strangerthat is also paradoxically him is taking his place is one that’s pretty uniquebut it fits in ZE and in Doctor Who, thanks to the power of time travel.

This part here:

He takes a moment,breathes. Flexes the fingers that are and are not his own. The way he looksdown, aside, is one Maria knows intimately because Kyle recognizes it as hisown – a nervous tic to hide his fear of rejection.

Is one I added one one of my later passes, I think. But I’mreally proud of it. There are definitely ways in which Kyle and Sigma aresimilar and I think that this sort of emotional fragility is one of them. Ireally liked the thought of expressing that similarity through a gestureinstead of words.

Originally, I wasn’t going to have Kyle express a desire toleave so soon. But after the scene between Dr. Klim and Diana, this sort ofsinking feeling hit me. Or Kyle? Both of us I guess. Because it’s true he doesn’treally belong in 2028. He could, maybe, eventually… But then it hit me that hestill had unfinished business in 2074. And maybe that was always in the back ofmy head, that need for a resolution with Luna, just because she’s so near anddear to my heart. And the reason that Kyle begins to see her differently isbecause he sees her through Maria’s eyes, so in that way she’s helping him onelast time.

Their exchange about meeting again, I’m sure I’ve admittedto this before somewhere, is absolutely based on the “End: Lost in the Waves” FEFates DLC. That, in addition to the epilogue, was added on my second or thirdpass through the fic. Originally it ended with Phi and Maria holding hands, butI wanted to see Kyle again, so changes were made.

In the same way that I wanted to hint to a Kyle-Lunaresolution, I knew I had to start mending the ties between Sigma and Kyle,which is what his exchange is all about. I can’t remember who it was that madethat comic about Sigma getting attached to his clones but they kept dying andeventually he cut himself off from them but I think that played a lot into howI conceptualized their relationship. Now that their mission is done, there’snothing holding them back, there’s no longer a wall between them. And Kyle wasnever sure if that was really the problem, or if Sigma just truly didn’t care,so that reassurance is really important to him.

And of course I couldn’t have Kyle leave without talking toDiana. But in addition to having no idea what they would say to one another, Ialso wanted to expand a little bubble of privacy to them. Playing with the waythe body-sharing works was part of it too, because I think up until that pointthe only one who’d leaned back out of control far enough to mute the outside worldwas Kyle. I wanted to see it from Maria’s perspective too, and emphasize thatat their core – emotionally – they’re still connected no matter how far theylean apart.

I guess that’s all of it lmao wow.. I hope that didn’t soundtoo pretentious, I’m sure I got a little long-winded but look….. I revised thatfic like ten times before I posted it and it’s really one of my most polishedworks and I am So Damn Proud of it!