#i'm pissed my friend just came to visit me at midnight on her way home bc she's leaving for california when i told her not to come

[dreaminterlude]

it actually makes me so angry that people are not there for you the way you need them but in a way that wants to make them feel good

[oregon-barbi13]

Catching up... there's a lot!

Grab a drink. Pull up a chair. Put on your favorite background noise and buckle up; we've got three months of drama and shit to catch up on.

If I am being totally honest it doesn't feel like that long ago that i've written you guys. Well October was my birthday and Halloween. Uneventful. I went and seen my family for my birthday. Halloween was also uneventful. My kids dressed up and we all went trick-or-treating. We did have fun but it was uneventful.

November. That's different. Gosh! What a shitshow! My daughters birthday. We chose to have a sleep over. Her best friend came over and she decided to stay until almost midnight, when she called her mother and had her mother pick her up (without my knowledge) because in her words, my nephew made some inappropriate gestures and some other things that made her uncomfortable. Now, where I 100% respect this little and her family and her safety is my main concern is the fact that I was not made aware of the situation until AFTER was home. My daughter came in crying birthday ruined. I tried to have this conversation with her mother about why it wasn't brought to my attention SOONER? Like I could have corrected the situation and no one had to leave or ruin my daughters birthday.

Fast forward to the 12th. It was serve day with our church. My Bishop and his beautiful family came to my house to help with some stuff in the yard. I was concentrating on the inside. Well I looked outside and seen that my Bishop was gone and then 2 minutes later I got a knock on the door. It was a dear friend who was doing some work next door. She wanted to know if I was okay. She was concerned because she was witnessing an event that is going on out back. (back story: my POS wannabe "gang member" HALF brother-in-law lives in a RV in MY backyard.) BIL screams at his mother, calling her all kinds of names and then pushes her into the mud. I usually stay out of it. Their drama is their drama. There's no talking to my in-laws. So I just keep to myself. I have NEVER wanted him around since my husband and I got married and BIL disrespected me in MY OWN apartment. I don't hate him but I'm his friend. He is my husbands HALF brother and the POS that manipulates the situation in his favor and he NEVER takes responsibility for his own bullshit. I am not cruel. So I allow him to live on the property, he pays his bill and he leaves me the hell alone. My husband told his HB that he needed to get off the property and HB blows up. Totally disrespectful. Calling names. ugh just very toxic. (he still has no left, because he has no where to go)

So we go to visit my family for a few days over Thanksgiving. That Monday, I cry because I do not want to come home. I haven't felt safe. The fact that my in-laws are FORCING me to deal with this AGAIN is beyond my comprehension. And honestly it pisses me off. Because of the snide comments that are made in MY direction. "How would you feel if it were your child?" (My children will NEVER disrespect someone the way he has and IF they do, they better buckle up for the consequences) "He's my son" (My husband is also your son. what about him and his children?) I really don't care about me, I know his family's dislike for me, I DO NOT CARE! My expectations are simple, "Don't like me, fine, but do not punish my children because of that dislike"

I have been in distress for some time. I shaved my head (brittney 2008) I am moving. I am moving closer to my family because guess what?! At least my family fucking cares. They see us as human. We're not perfect and we have to figure shit out, we have to make mistakes. Well for the last 14 years I haven't been allowed to make mistakes. I have had to be chained. I have been manipulated on a massive scale. my in-laws, my ex in-laws, my husband, UGH!

So moving is what I am doing. I am breaking away from all this shit. I am going to go and get my HOUSE. I am gonna do this all on my own. And NO ONE is gonna tell me what I can and cannot do to MY HOUSE. I am gonna stand on my own two feet and no one is gonna be able to say to me, "You wouldn't be there if it werent for me"!

I am just really done.

Thanks for listening if you have made it this far.

ViaConDios

[junquisite]

Fated to love 2

PAIRING : Park Junhee X OC X Kim Wooseok

GENRE : Fluff, Angst

WORD COUNT : 2.9k

PARTS :  I+P  1  2

AUTHOR’S NOTE : From now on italics mean that its real but from a past moment, so memories are in italics, regular font means present.

Seungyoun joined Wooseok at the cafe he invited him to and wooseok scowled at the first words that left his friend’s mouth.

“So what did you fucked up now?” 

“I did no such thing.” Wooseok gritted out as he passed Seungyoun’s usual order towards him - Latte and a pastry while he sipped on his ice americano. He vaguely noticed how similar Seungyoun and Bora’s tastes are but then the both of them used to love going to different restaurants and cafes together so.

 “You only specifically call me for breakfast when you do something. And Bora has returned from swiss 2 weeks ago. Thats too long for you to not fuck up.” Seungyoun  concluded as he happily smiled at his visibly pissed friend.

Wooseok sighed and told Seugnyoun everything - from the party to the dinner he crashed. Seungyoun stared at him for far too long he was comfortable with so he fidgeted with his phone.

“I don't know if you intentionally do this but why do you act like an asshole to her when you love her?”

Wooseok sputtered a loose explanation about how it was not his fault but Seungyoun knew it was just his jealousy acting up - which knowing Wooseok, he would never accept. Seungoyun also pointedly noted how he didn't deny the part that he was in love with her and that was interesting. 

“Apologise to her Wooseok. You were too much.” Seungyoun finally said and Wooseok nodded - already planning on how to apologise to her.

~

“I am so sorry i had to call you both in so late! I wanted to meet for lunch but I had an important meeting, but thank you for making time to meet me at this time!” Junhee saw as she trailed off when she looked up and only saw him.

“Where is Donghun?” she asked and he nodded outside.

“He had an important call, he’ll be in soon.”  he said and she nodded and got back up from the crouching position she was in before with her back towards him which led to her rambling as she had done. 

There was an awkward silence in the office as she fumbled with the papers and he kept staring at her.

“Did Donghun say anything after you left?” she asked finally and he nodded in a negative.

“Why?”

“He's too smart to not figure out that we have known each other longer than meeting yesterday for the first time.” she remarked and Junhee shrugged.

“He figured you were the girl I met at switzerland. He wanted to know if I was uncomfortable working with you and wanted to cancel the collaboration.” he said and saw as her eyes widened, she really wanted this to happen.

“Oh..do you want to? Cancel it?” she asked softly and he wanted to go close to her, comfort her and promise her to even bring the stars if she asked for, this collaboration was nothing.

“No. we’ll move forward with it.”

She nodded and the room fell in silence again.

He saw her hesitate and sigh. “Why..did he think you would be uncomfortable with working with me?” she asked and he mentally debated if he should tell how he was when he got back. Finally he decided to come clean, she should know that he's here, and now in front of her.

“When i got back.. It was hard to concentrate on work - i  could only think of you. A girl i met in switzerland whom i knew nothing about more than that she lived in seoul and was returning a week after me. So the sunday you were supposed to come back, a day before i checked all the flights coming to seoul from swiss, even checked the ones who’ll have pit stops. There were 7 in total and I was ready to spend the whole day at the airport just to see you again. He stopped me.

He said something which made me listen to him and not come.”

He saw that she was staring at him wide-eyed, hanging on his every word.

“He said i left my contact number to her and she still hasn't texted me for the whole week. That i was just a vacation fling for her and meant nothing more then that and that i need to stop being dumb.” he finished.

He saw her flinch as he was talking but that was exactly what Donghun had told him. And she needed to know it too.

“I'm sorry  I was late, should we get started?” Donghun asked as he came in and the gloomy mood of the room slightly lifted as Bora gave him a strained smile. If Donghun noticed it, he didn't comment on it.

“I ordered us Sandwiches. I hope you both will like it.'' She said as she passed both of them Subway bags and Junhee took his, only to look inside and find a chocochip cookie which was missing from Donghun’s as he saw him emptying the content on the table.

He looked across at her to see she was avoiding his eyes.

“It's 3 am.” she said incredulously staring at him.

“You don't know the fun of eating Subway sandwiches at 3 am.” as he wrapped a scarf around her and pulled her outside her room. Junhee pulled a whiney Bora to the subway 5 minutes away from her Hotel and went to order 2 chicken sandwiches and ice tea.

“Cookie?” he asked her and she said no.

He came back with one chocochip cookie though.

“I love these. I sometimes feel like Subway chocochip cookies are the best ever in the world.” he said as he took a big bite of it and moaned in pleasure. She slapped his arm in between her laughs.

Junhee took a  bite of his cookie. She remembered it seemed. Now was it a good sign actually or not, he wondered.

~

Bora was tired and only craving her bed by the time she reached home. So she was not expecting any guest - and especially not Kim Wooseok. So when she saw him, a sigh involuntarily slipped through her mouth.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

“I brought dinner.” he said as he showed her the bag he was holding. It was the restaurant she loved but it only took advance bookings and she was sure this was an impromptu visit so it meant he paid whoever had the chance to bring her food. She vaguely wondered how much he paid the person.

“How long have you been here?” she asked as she realised it was almost midnight - way past dinner time.

“A while.” he muttered and she sighed. It meant hours.

“Why didn't you wait inside? The code is the same as we set when we bought this.” she muttered as she walked past him to open the door and wave him inside.

“I didn't want to intrude.” he answered and she scoffed, turning around to stare at him.

“Why are you actually here Wooseok?” she asked and he looked away, clearly avoiding her eyes. She saw as his ear reddened and she raised an eyebrow.

“I wanted to apologise.. For the party and yesterday dinner too.” he muttered while looking down at the floor and she ran a hand through her hair. Her face softened.

“I have had dinner already.” she settled on as he looked up at her and nodded, slightly looking like a kicked puppy. “I’ll get going then. Goodnight.” he told her as he turned to leave.

“Wooseok..” she called his name and he turned around. He looked young but tired, like how they used to be when they used to have their finals and would spend nights living on energy drinks and coffees - no matter how cold their relationship had turned now and how much she hated his guts now- he was still her best friend that she has known since kindergarten.

“Stay.. i’ll sit with you while you eat. And you can sleep in the guest room.”

~

Bora woke up to the smell of fresh eggs and toast and coffee and if you ask her, that probably is what heavens smell like to her. She freshened up and then dragged herself to her kitchen to see Wooseok cooking her breakfast.

“Did you knew you had nothing in your refrigerator except for alcohol?” he asked her and she shrugged.

“I'm pretty sure there was coffee somewhere here.” she said vaguely pointing to her kitchen and he shook his head at her.

“I had to go out for grocery shopping to make you breakfast.” he said as he served her and she thanked him.

“Take whatever food is left to your house though, it’ll go bad here.” she said as Woosoek joined her in eating.

“Shouldn't you learn how to cook about now?” he asked her and she shrugged.

“I usually grab breakfast either at the office or the coffee shop in front of it. Or at the main house if i'm summoned. Plus there’s no one around to teach me to cook.'' She spoke the last part lowly and Wooseok felt his heart clench.

“You can always ask my mom, she would love to teach you.”

As soon as the words slipped his mouth, her head shot up to stare at him as if he grew out another head.

“She hates me Wooseok.” she said with such a painfully straight face that it made even him laugh.

Breakfast ended and she helped him with the dishes.

“I’ll get going now. I have to go home and get dressed too.” he said and she nodded as she walked him to the door.

“Bora..” he trailed off and she smiled at him and for a second he felt like they were back in highschool where she would happily follow him around, laughing with him and making him feel like he was at the top of the world.

“Seungyoun said everyone was meeting for meat and drinks today. You wanna join?”

She looked to be thinking, probably thinking of her schedule.

“Sure. i'm in. i haven't seen him and the guys in a long while too!” she agreed and he smiled. He was already imagining telling a cocky Seungyoun that not only he apologised but she also agreed for the night out - he couldn't wait to see the look on his best friend's face.

“And Wooseok..” her voice brought him out of his thoughts. “Next time you wanna grab dinner, tell me. If not a day before then at least an hour before. I'll clear my schedule for you.” she said with a smile and his heart skipped a beat. This was the Bora he fell in love with all those years ago.

~

She entered the Barbeque place and the smell hanging in the air reminded her of Highschool and University - when times were better she thought. Once inside, she made her way to the table with the loudest voices and found her friends- Wooseok and Seungwoo were the only silent and smiling ones at the table - the other three were the creators of the noise - Hangyul, Yohan and Seungyoun who all looked halfway drunk. She was only half an hour late from the decided time though.

She took a seat between Seungwoo and Wooseok as Seungyoun passed her a glass of beer.

“I literally just got here.”

“And you have to compensate for the half hour you’re late for.” Seungyoun cheekily said as he passed her a shot of Soju which she happily took. Seungwoo passed her a plate of snacks and she thanked him softly.

An hour passed with drinks and talks and taunts to Bora for not meeting the others more. But it was all good and Wooseok was slightly tipsy and Seungyoun was trying to sober him surprisingly. It was just that Seungyoun had a good alcohol tolerance and Wooseok did not. And drunk Wooseok is clingy as the hand wrapped around her waist and head leaning on her shoulder was reminding her. It was vaguely reminding her of how close they used to be before and suddenly the alcohol in her system felt too much and the restaurant felt suffocating. 

She suddenly stood up, Wooseok almost falling on the seat as he was leaning on her and she asked Seungwoo to move, mumbling about needing fresh air. She really needed some.

She was standing outside as the cold air blew and saw the time. A little over 11 pm, none of them will even consider going home before 1 and she sighed. She tugged out her pack of cigarettes and a lighter as she lit one. She wasn't an avid smoker - only smoking occasionally when stressed and the friendly dinner with old friends was leading into dangerous territories - from highschool memories to her and Wooseok almost dating to their sudden engagement. It was frustrating since she knew the reason behind all his attention on her now - he wanted to marry her.

“Fancy seeing you here.” she heard someone speak behind her and turned around to see a smiling Junhee coming to stand beside her. She wanted to scowl at his smiling face but also apologise for never texting him again. She hadn't been able to sleep much last night because she kept thinking about what Junhee had said.

“I didn't know you smoke.” he commented as she took a drag of it and let the smoke out.

“I don't usually. But a tough day makes me want to take one.” she said as she took another drag and Junhee turned around to leave.

“Wait, where are you going?” she asked as he looked behind at her, face unreadable.

“I can't stand the smoke.” he said as he turned and started walking towards the alleyway beside the restaurant. She looked at the cigarette in her hand. Cursing lowly, she threw it on the ground and stomped it with her heels as she walked after him.

“Wait for me!”

~

After making sure Wooseok was sober enough to not fall, Seungyoun got up to follow behind Bora. He had felt her getting uncomfortable by minute as they kept talking about her and Wooseok and he wanted to make sure she was fine. And also maybe not to be so disgusted by the fact that she was engaged to Wooseok now.

He walked out to see a man standing beside her and paused a little behind, making sure to hide himself but also hear what they were talking about.

“I didn't know you smoke.” the man commented and Seungyoun was surprised that he actually knew her.

“I don't usually. But a tough day makes me want to take one.” he felt guilty when she said that. Was she that uncomfortable with the idea of marrying Wooseok? Isn't she the same person who would blush whenever Wooseok said anything directly to her and literally told him in the morning that she would clear any schedule for him?

“Wait, where are you going?” he heard say and looked up to see the man turning to walk towards the side alleyway.

“I can't stand the smoke.” he said simply and Seungyoun sighed. It brought back memories of the many times anyone had ever told her to not smoke.

It started during University. A huge fight between Wooseok and her that no one ever found the reason for and she went out alone at night. Seungyoun had found himself opening the door of his apartment to a drunk Bora at 4 in the morning smelling strongly of alcohol and smoke.

Since then, she had smoked on multiple occasions followed by someone telling her not to and her retoriting with something.

“You should not smoke.” Seungwoo had told her and she had just shrugged in response, choosing to not smoke in his presence out of respect but not listening.

“The smoke bothers me.” Wooseok had complained once. With a cigarette between her lips, she walked to the door of the apartment and opened it for him saying, “feel free to leave.”

“Smoking kills you eventually.” Aerin had said.

“So does life at one point.” Bora had retorted.

“Can you stop smoking?” he had followed after Aerin who was snuggled in his arms.

“Shut up.” was the crude response he got as she laughed and he joined, taking the cigarette from her hand to take a drag himself.

So maybe he was not the best person but she also has never listened. So when Seungyoun saw her throwing the cigarette down and running after the guy, something dropped in his stomach.

He went back in and joined the others. 

“Where is she?” Wooseok asked and Seungyoun shrugged.

“Did not see her. Maybe she went in the side alley to smoke.” he said, not willing to put doubts in the head of a drunk Wooseok. But sober Wooseok has to know. She came about 20 minutes after Seungyoun had come back and the smile and the slight flush of her cheeks were bothering him a bit too much. So he decided he’ll give him some sort of warning at least.

That's Why Wooseok woke up the next day with a killer headache and a text awaiting on his phone from Seungyoun saying, ‘You should have a serious talk with Bora about the engagement.’

[mama-ghostie-61542]

A Thousand Lifetimes

Rating--M++ for language and themes

If you recognize it--IT AIN'T MINE

Sorry for OOC-ness

Chapter 6

Wolf

As I awoke the next morning, I could not help the happy feeling that pervaded everything. After the craziness of getting the kids around to go with their father for his weekend, I sat down to meditate before I cleaned my house.

I wafted the cedar and sage smoke over myself, clearing the air and myself of all negative energy. I sat there for almost an hour before whispering, 'Morning, Sweets.' Then, I got up and went to grab a shower.

I could feel eyes on me.

'Hello, Darlin'. How was your day?'

'Fuckin' crazy,' came the reply. 'So far, it has been a mad house and we aren't even at the show yet. I will let you know when we finish up; cool?'

'Ok, Haka. Talk to you then,' I whispered to him.

His spirit seemed to sag against me for a moment before he whispered, 'I love you, Ghost. Remember that,' he sent as he caressed my face. 'Always have, always will. The distance and these crazy schedules could never change that.'

'Sweets, you know I love you. You also know, you don't need to tell me, I already know. I know you need me to be steady when your schedule is crazy like this; to be the one constant point in all the crazy.'

I could almost feel him nod on my shoulder, before the feeling of being enfolded into his strong arms came over me. There was peace and contentment in that space.

Kihyun

The show that night was crazy! All the amazingly pretty girls, and the only one on my mind was half a world away. Sometimes this connection sucks. I feel so alone sometimes. But tonight, there is excitement, adoration, and pride coming from our thread. I could not help the smile as we left the venue.

There was a girl that was right by stage left. I am pretty sure she tried to flash me a few times, but, as per normal, all I could think about was her.

Then, I caught up with the conversation going with the boys.

"Did you see her rack? Good Lord," Honey giggled.

"I know. Those were huge," chuckled HyungWon. "Death by tittie"

"Where was I," I asked, oblivious.

Min replied, "You were on the other side. You didn't see the size of those cocomelons."

"Those things were big enough to have their own post codes," Changkyun laughed.

HyunWoo grinned, then suddenly jumped and grabbed his ear. "Ow." He looked at me. "Control your woman; think she just flicked my ear."

Suddenly the words, "Diving Swan," were whispered on my cheek.

I grinned. "I'm sorry, Ducking Swan. I'm too far away to control that."

"Oh, God. Don't call me that. Who told you that name? And it's Diving, not ducking."

"What were you thinking of to make her mad, anyway?"

"Suffocating in tatas," he chuckled. "It'd be a lovely way to go."

"Wonder how many words there are for breasts, in the world," Changkyun mumbled.

Honey laughed, "Almost as many as folks who dream of dying in them."

Four hands shot up.

"Yes, Please," Min laughed.

"I'm game," HuyngWon grinned.

It was all I could do to laugh.

Min smiled at me, "We all know, you are in lurve."

Honey smacked Min's arm, "Don't talk about our sister like that, Moron."

"I'm in lurve," chuckled Swan.

"You are not," I laughed. "That's those microwaved burritos you insisted on eating. Nasty things. What you are feeling is decidedly further south."

Changkyun giggled, "And could probably be cured with some Pepto."

We all lost it laughing.

We got back and all split off to go wind down in our own ways. I started to meditate, I tapped our thread. I tried several times to get her attention that way.

She was working again.

As I settled in, I decided to try something else. I saw her working at the sink, her dress showing off those broad but feminine shoulders and her delicious back. I wanted, so much, to pin her to the counter and have my way with her. However, I opted for a more seductive approach. I gently caressed my knuckles up her spine, beginning just where her dress stopped and ending where her spine and neck met.

She shivered.

"Good night," She asked.

'Hmm,' I agreed. 'Would be much better if I were home.'

'Or if I were there," She whispered.

'If you were here, I would be getting told to quiet down already. It would be my goal that everyone on the block knew who's cock was deep inside you, touching all the right spots.'

'You are such a fuckin' tease, Haka.'

'It's only teasing til I get home. After that, it's a guarantee.'

'Go shower. Raincheck,' she sighed.

I knew what she meant. I had smelled it on her a week prior. She smelled like tasty, delicious things that I just wanted to eat up.

'Raincheck,' I agreed, as I dropped my head to her shoulder, then held her for a moment.

I went to my room and piled up my pillows to read for a bit.

Post-Christmas 2019

Bryn PoV

At midnight, the phone rang. I picked it up expecting a normal call but found my little brothers face smiling at me.

"Sissie! How was your Christmas!? Sorry. Schedule was crazy."

"All good. Don't worry about mine. How was yours," I asked.

Although I was tickled to talk to him, I knew that sooner or later, he would find out; that he would be able to pull the truth out of me and it would kill me all over again.

"What did you get this year?"

I sighed. "Don't worry about what I got. What did you get?"

He looked at me for a minute and then smiled sadly. "I got an amazing pair of handmade convertible mittens from my awesome big sister," he said softly. "Bryn," He started," What did you get?"

"Don't worry about what I got," I replied.

Joey's eyes narrowed as he looked at me for a solid minute before he spoke. "He didn't get you anything, did he?"

"Joey," I sighed while looking away.

"I'm only gonna ask this one last time. What did you get," he asked again, his dark eyes boring into mine.

I sighed and looked away so I didn't have to see the disappointment on his face. "A sweater I made and some pencils I bought."

He groaned and leaned forwards on his elbow, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Don't lose your temper, Joey."

"I won't," He said. as he sat back. "He isn't worth it. But, dammit you deserve better than that. I won't yell or scream, but he did piss me off. Sis," He started, then shook his head as he collected his thoughts, "He refused to get your teeth fixed until it almost killed you. I'm just upset that he doesn't seem to care. You deserve better."

Just then, I.M. popped up behind him. "Hi!"

"Heya, Kiddo," I replied as he glared at I.M.

I.M. smiled and took a deep breath, then held his nose and acted like he was going under water.

"What was that all about," I asked.

Joey PoV

"I don't know. I don't think I want to know," I answered as I held my hands in my lap, picking at those gloves. "Sis, you really need to leave." I hoped the sincerity I felt could be seen. It bothers me that she does so much and never gets any thanks for it. I mean, I wish she would have left last year, when she was sick and his friends were more important than taking care of his sick wife.

After a moment, she replied, while running her hands over her short chestnut brown hair, "And where would I go? You know I have the shop and the boys have all their services set up here already! Do you have any idea how hard it is to up and run with not one but two kids with special needs," she yelled as hazel eyes caught fire and seemed to burn.

"I don't know," I said, trying to keep my voice soft, "But I know that staying there isn't good for you. You deserve so much better. The longer you stay, the more the memories cut. Then, the more hurt and disappointed you feel. And the more disillusioned you are, the more empty you feel."

It was at that split second that she looked at me and I could see how hollow she looked. Like the fire that kept her going was suddenly extinguished. I felt myself start to choke up. It was like watching the strongest person you know, die a little.

"I'm sorry, Sis. I will talk more later," I said as I felt the tightness in my chest. It wasn't just the anger at his treatment of her, but her defense of staying. It was watching the assbag slowly killing my strong, brilliant, big sister by a million papercuts and being powerless to stop it.

"Later, Joey. Love you."

"You too, Sis," I sighed as I hung up.

I walked out onto the terrace of our dorm, sliding into my coat as I went, and sat in the only chair that was obscured from view. I sat there trying to get a handle on how I felt when a hand closed over my shoulder. I looked up behind me to see Minhyuk there and moving around to pull up a chair.

"Everything ok?"

It was all I could do to shake my head.

"Tell me," He prodded.

Sitting there, I tried so hard to hang on to my temper, before yelling, "That fuckin' rat bastard forgot her again!"

He pulled back a little as his eyes got wide. "Wow. Tell me how ya really feel."

I was soo beyond mad that I stood up and punched a wall, bloodying my knuckles on the brickwork. But before I could hit it again, Hoseok, who just happened to be visiting, grabbed my arm.

"Whoa. What is the matter? What did the wall do?"

"The wall didn't DO anything but it was there when I lost my temper."

Suddenly, Kihyun was behind me dragging/pushing me inside, while yelling at HyunWoo for help.

"We need to get your knuckles cleaned up and bandaged before they get infected. What the hell possessed you to coldcock a brick wall, anyway," Kihyun went off, all while glaring at me in between pouring the peroxide over the back of my hand. "You could have broken your hand. And then you may have gotten dropped! God knows they are looking for any fucking reason this year."

"The douche left her high and dry on Christmas, KiKi. Completely fuckin' forgot about her," I growled, in English, from behind HyunWoo, who was holding my arm steady over the sink.

He suddenly stopped pouring as his head snapped up at me. "You're kidding?"

I shook my head, "Wish I was."

His eyes seemed to suddenly burn with anger. Before anyone could stop him, he dropped the peroxide bottle in the sink and took of at a dead run out the door. He didn't bother telling anyone where he was going. Hoseok found him 3 hours later, sound asleep and still sweaty, collapsed by the heavy bag in the weight room.

Kihyun

I was so mad, I didn't even know where I was going until I walked into a heavy bag. Then, for the next hour, I proceeded to beat the hell out of it, stopping intermittently to scream profanity at said bag. As all the rage burned out, I collapsed to my knees. I could feel how hurt she was. But in that moment, a wave of exhaustion washed over me and I let it take me.

I was suddenly in an art gallery. The whole exhibit was eyes. They looked familiar. It dawned on me then, that all these eyes were mine. They had been hand drawn, on parchment with ink, on canvas with paint, and on card in graphite. I walked over to the woman in the crowd and instantly recognized her. There she was. The woman in all of my dreams. Her long, chestnut waves, heavy and thick, fell around her face and over her shoulders, only to continue down her back until they almost touched her ass.

I cupped her cheek and moved in to kiss her when I heard her voice behind me.

"Wow. I forgot how pretty I was at 17."

I jumped back. "17," I yelled before turning around."

My Ghost, with her short buzz-cut with sparkles stood there, looking at the construct of her younger self. She sighed, "Yep. Back before I traded looks for brains," and then shuffled over to a barstool in the corner. "The older I get, the more impatient I get. The more impatient I get, the more cynical I get. Then, the more I wish I was still her," again she sighs as her shoulders slump and she sits with her head in her hands. A soft sob escaped her lips before she continued, "Maybe then, I could just stop. Stop seeing you everywhere. Stop dreaming of your eyes. Stop seeing them in my coffee. Stop feeling them on my back," she sighed as tears tracked down her cheeks. "But the shitty part is; if I stop dreaming of you, they win. The demons win, cause then I will have nothing left. You have always been the one the others were judged against. You were my anchor, my lighthouse; the beacon leading me home. The one person in the world who can handle me when my temper gets the better of me. The only one who can keep me together when I fall apart.,"

Then the pictures changed.

"And there are all my mistakes," She whispered as she walked past me, to a table in the middle of the room. On said table, there were several bottles of alcohol and a sack of smoke. "Yep. ALL of my mistakes, every single one lied and said they were you. So, I found a way to cope,' she said as she turned to walk away.

"Wait," I yelled as I grabbed her arm, sliding my hand down to her wrist.

"Haka, you are everything I could have wished for, did wish for. But, I am no good. I am too broken for an angel like you. Too beat up for a king."

"Too beat up? Too broken? Wolf, you don't understand. I will NEVER give you up. I will NEVER give up on you. Trust me when I tell you this, Baby. I love you. I will ALWAYS fight for you. Even if I am fighting you for you," I said as I pulled her into me. It tore me apart to see the tears in her pretty eyes. Did she know how those eyes had haunted me, tortured me. "Hear this now, Wolf," I said as I cupped her cheek and tipped her face to look at me. "I will find you. I promise you that. Just please, please, don't give up on me. I know it's hard to walk by faith when you are losing hope. But, Mami, please, PLEASE don't give up on me. I know, I have been the worst kind of asshole, making you wait, but I can promise you that I will happily spend my life making up for it," I said as I held her close, the top of her head just under my eyes.

It hit me then, that she fit perfectly in my arms. "And anyway, Baby, you were made for me."

She chuckled, "Nah, Babe, I think you have that a little backwards."

"Semantics," I whispered as I hugged her tight and buried my nose in her hair, filling myself up with her smell. "Never forget that I love you; heart and soul. You light me up in ways no woman ever has. And if you need me to be your lighthouse, your beacon; then I will gladly do just that. But, don't give up on me. Please don't give up on me. I love you, Wolf."

"Love you more, Haka."

I woke up in my own bed with HyunWoo looking at me like I was dying.

"What happened," I growled.

"You had us worried. It took us three hours to find you. Honey thought you were on a plane."

"I wish I was. Now really, what happened? The last thing I remember, other than dreaming of my Queen, was Honey saying something about," I trailed off. It hit me what had happened. He told me that she had been neglected again, and I saw red. "Nevermind. Go get Honey."

He settled himself on the edge of my bed in less than two minutes. "Well, hi there. Have a nice nap?"

"Shut up, cheese weasel," I growled. My eyes were closed, fighting both the migraine and the memories.

"Would a cheese weasel remember to bring you two aspirin and a water? Answer, no. I already talked to Sis. Somehow she got it in her head that you are better off without her. Wanna tell me how that happened."

"No," I groused as I took the aspirin.

"Too bad. Tell me anyway."

I explained the whole thing to him, before letting him see.

"Uhhh. You do realize that there was one very large unfinished portrait, right. It looked like an ungodly mish-mash of styles, more or less. It cleared up by the end. Do you know what that means? Also, do you know who or what she meant by 'demons'?"

I shook my head, and instantly regretted it, "Not sure about the portrait. To be honest, I didn't even see it. But, the demon is her mother and all of her venom and toxicity."

He sighed, "Means she only sees herself clearly through your eyes. Did you know that she knows where you are because you shine this bright light."

"I told her I would always be the beacon guiding her home."

"Dude...Only gonna say this one time. Get my Sister the hell outta there."

I turned the page, only to find the chapter finished. Sitting on my bed, I thought about what she had written. It was nearing midnight, and I thought about pulling out the next chapter.

But before I could, I felt her through whatever our connection is.

She kissed my cheek, softly, and whispered, 'You should be in bed, my love.'

In that instant, I would have given anything to be able to cuddle up with her for a bit. I could almost smell her skin on my pillow. It hurt to know that she was so far away.

A part of me worried that she hadn't taken breaks while writing, I know how she gets. If she is working on something, it has most of her focus. She forgets to eat and get the boys on their homework.

A/N--Edited. Dates are off vs. original work.