#i'm out of classes yippee so hopefully i'll get to post more

[fattylime]

commission for @/a_llycatt on twt 🌸

[cafesweetvn]

How’s the demo coming along? /genq (Sorry if this is rude, I’m just curious ^^’’)

NO WORRIES I DON'T FIND IT RUDE!! honestly it's been a bit slow, I wanna pick up my pace again and be on that GRIND like how I was cause that felt good!! I'm also planning to delete the game on ren'py since I'm having issue with some of the coding even though I'm following the tutorial exactly as shown so I'm hoping that deleting the game(which isn't that big of a set back for me, I really only had the title screen in there so far) and then just start from scratch cause I don't know if the game file is glitching or if I'm just REALLY bad at coding(though tbf I haven't coded anything since the required coding class in high school and I wasn't even using ren'py for that) Although my plans have changed a bit, I don't plan on going to college this semester(which my dad is NOT going to like so I'm really dreading even TELLING him), rather I want to focus on getting a job(which will still take up my time as well as having to take care of everything at this place) BUT hopefully I'll be less stressed and at least have more free time(I take FOREVR to do college assignments, I'm a really slow worker, I always have been) but I'm hoping that I get a job and make money and save it up so I can GET OUUUUUUT of this place which would lower my stress and give me significantly more free time. And then I wanna do trade school, I wanna use my own money, not my dads, if I'm out of here and use my own money I don' have to worry about anyone else's expectations other then mine so that's also less stress YIPPEE! Progress is slow but tonight I wanna find some music, which thankfully I already have an artist(Peritune) that I REALLY like so I'll just be looking through more of their stuff! Now that I have most of the scenes written out it should be easier to find music and backgrounds! Anyways long story short progress has been slower than I'd like but I'm feeling that motivation kick! I'll try to post more updates as well, sorry for just going MIA!!

[cruorcrave]

19 December 2024

(TL;DR at the end.)

Today was pretty alright. I mostly just finished up xmas shopping (took a while cuz my mother had a lot of places to go) but it was made more fun by the fact I finally got my sister's present. I bought her a bag of chocolates as well as a 10-pack of ciders, and I wrapped every item individually then put them back in their respective packets. Hopefully she finds it funny (me and my sisters prank each other with our presents - but we also make sure the presents are actually good and what they wanted, just in the most annoying way possible.)

Other than that, I haven't done much today. I'm trying to get myself into the mindset of drawing/writing/creating even if it's not good. Even if it isn't perfect I should still be creating because it's what I want to be known for and it's what I want to do, it just takes a bit of effort. Gonna try to get a drawing out today or tomorrow.

One of my new tumblr-made friends is being a bit distant and I'm worried about them. I haven't known them for long (literally like a month) so I don't know their habits or anything yet. I'm just hoping I haven't upset them or scared them off, or that something particularly bad has come up in their life. Hopefully they're alright.

The school morning tea was good. My friend picked me up in her car and luckily there weren't a lot of people there. Only about 10 of us from a class of about 75, and it was all people I liked or tolerated. My friend who wants me to be in his upcoming zombie short film chatted with me about it, I saw teachers I like again, I got like three cans of free Sprite, it was great all round. Me and a few friends have another get together some time in the next few weeks which will be nice as the people I hate/cannot tolerate aren't invited. Yippee!

tw discussing s/h briefly

As was probably clear from last night's posting, I relapsed. However, there is a silver lining here. I didn't cut myself or draw any blood in any way. I hit myself and got a small bruise, but it's already starting to fade just a day later, and the headache was gone by mid-morning. I'm dedicated to trying to get to 3 days right now, and then hopefully to a week. Trying to focus on the positives. My longest streak in a while has been 3 days and so I'm trying to break that. I'm still counting hitting (whether against something hard or with the pliers) as a relapse because one, it usually leaves a bruise and gives me a killer headache (sometimes for days on end) and two, it is to harm myself. I'm still struggling with thoughts of.. man, I gotta find a name for this. "drinking" feels wrong - its not that much blood - but maybe "taking" is more accurate? Let's go with that. I'm still struggling with thoughts of taking but I'm trying to acknowledge them and then move on. Rather than ignoring them, I'm telling myself "Okay, I want to do that, but I know I'll only feel worse for it, and even though I don't know what's causing the feelings directly, I know it's a problem and has to do with my mental illnesses, therefore I shouldn't give in." It's worked so far today, if only for today. I still can't help but wonder why I ever had the feelings in the first place, though. I just want them to go away now is all I know. Either way, this approach definitely works better than telling myself "If you give in you'll go crazy and never be able to stop like some freak vampire-hannibal hybrid so ignore the hunger." That definitely wasn't working.

Anyway, wish me luck. 1 day clean as I write this.

Song of the Day: Pieces - Sum 41

Also, I'm going to start putting TL;DRs at the end of my diary posts cuz they're long as shit and ain't nobody got time for that.

TL;DR:

Today was okay. Did Christmas shopping, ready to prank my older sisters. Didn't do much else, want to draw more. One of my friends is distant, I'm a bit worried. Final exam debrief morning tea was good. Relapsed but wasn't as bad as usual. Trying a new approach to staying clean; acknowledging urges and validating them. Trying to get to 3 days, then a week.

Clean since 18 December 2024

[lawlietscaramels]

I have a question about rie. I know she has a lot of alternate names/aliases, but I’m not really sure on who uses what name, if that makes sense? Like, do specific people call her certain things? Oh! And does L have any cute nicknames for her?

-🎲

Aliases ╾ Rie

YIPPEE!!!!?!!

Any excuse to drag Rie onto main 🩷 and to procrastinate on my other drafts...

　★━━─・‥…━━━☆

I'll organise by the basic rule: the main reason she has so many aliases is to help blend in – depending on the country. It won't work everywhere, of course. So, country - names - about the name - nicknames - about the nicknames.

╾ JAPAN

please note: the kanji in brackets are ordered last name - first name, as is typical in Japanese names. So Rie is not 高村 but rather 理恵.

Rie Takamura (高村理恵). I picked this because Rie is a fairly common name for girls meaning "reason". As for Takamura, it's like most common Japanese surnames in that it's somewhat geographical. Specifically, it means "high up village."

Hina Suzuki (鈴木陽菜). I actually don't know the exact meaning, but I didn't pick it for that: Hina and Suzuki are incredibly common names (think John Smith). It has the anonymity of Jane Doe.

Nicknames: Riri (by me; maybe by Matsuda and/or Misa). Miss Rie-san (by L. two honorifics...). Rie Pie (by "Matty Beef Patty" and "Mello Jello," because they got cross at her and decided to give her a taste of her own medicine. She's soooo pissed off that it doesn't rhyme).

╾ USA, UK, CANADA, AUSTRALIA etc...

Rue Dixon. I'm not sure if I ought to add a middle name. Rue I picked simply because it sounded similar to Rie (I didn't pick her real name, or even that she was French, until later. That probably sounds weird, but my creative process is too I guess..) and – come on. The meaning is so cool. Later, I learned BB uses it as an alias, which I'm just going to play into MWAHAHA (sobs). As for Dixon, it's after Elizabeth née Dixon, mother of Mary Wollstonecraft, mother of Mary Shelley.

Nicknames: um, Rue... (by Naomi. The "um" is a permanent fixture/hj). This is her name throughout Another Note.

╾ FRANCE

Reinette Rose Descôteaux (real name. how dramatic are her parents (me)). I struggled picking this name. I speak English (unbelievably) and I've been studying Japanese for a long time, but I've never really touched French up until developing Rie. I just picked something that sounded nice and didn't have an objectionable meaning for her first name. I kind of stomped over the fact middle names are uncommon in France and patched it up with the fact some kids have, like, dual first names (I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm thinking of things like Marie-Belle). As for Descôteaux, HOPEFULLY, it means something to do with gardens.

Aurélie Rousseau. I don't have any plans to use this one in RieCanon so far – perhaps in proLogue: 1429. Same process as above with the first name. Rousseau came up in my sociology class along with a couple of other white dead guys, and I thought the name sounded nice and Rie-ish.

Nicknames: Reine-Rose (L. He pronounces it wrong, pretty much just to annoy her. "Rainy rose" instead of "rehn rose"). Rosey (by L, about twice a year, when he feels cutesy). Pétalette (by her parents. I'm still figuring out Rie's childhood).

╾ INTERNATIONAL

1429 (fourteen twenty-nine). This is a real alias Rie goes by, even though it's not a name, and it's her main title throughout my fan made prequel arc. I don't remember how exactly I picked the number, but I like it.

Nicknames: Cat (by L, strictly once. She calls him mouse for a good while).

╾ OTHER

Rie goes by "L" a lot too. It's an agency more than a person. I feel like I read that somewhere, but there's an equal chance I made it up... Anyway, she does most of the PR stuff, and takes over if L gets sick or if she knocks him out to get some rest.

I've recently decided (this is an edit to the original post) that Rie is half Korean. She was born in France, but her dad (Korean, her mother is French) wanted to give her a Korean name as well, so here it is: 문영지, or Mun Yeong-ji. I probably messed something up, but I liked the sound of Mun and it's a fairly common surname. Yeong means shadow/reflection/photograph, and Ji means intelligence. Also considering the nickname YeonYeon by her father but idk what that means in Korean so I'll have to make sure it isn't anything weird, haha.

I'm trying to figure out if she went to Wammy's, or if there was time for her to meet the kids between 1429 and LABB, or something else. If she went, she'd go by Q or maybe X. I think different kids left at different times, so different letters opened up at different times. It's the simplest explanation I can think of, though I must admit it still doesn't answer everything. What is that again? Occam's razor?

　★━━─・‥…━━━☆

character ©lawlietscaramels , ©dailyreine , ©riexliet. Though Rie has been inserted into Ohba Tsugumi's Death Note universe, her design, character, and non canon related storyline are all my own original work. Do not steal her design, claim her as your own, use her for “inspiration” — it's flattering but it often ends up a copy, feed any part of her (story/art) to AI, or do anything else unethical or immoral.

[bonesandthebees]

Officially starting my job as a campus receptionist / ra tmr and I am both excited and nervous.

It's not like any job I've had in the past before and I only have the one day to get used to everything before the big move in day for most first years and I'm lowkey really scared of it lol

Like my manager was talking about it like it's doomsday 😭😭

I'm sure I'll be fine but it's hard not to be a lil intimidated. I don't have to worry about in person lectures or anything until the week of the 16th so yippee!! I have a few online intro ones but they're like max 30-45 mins.

But my accom is nice aside from a few problems. I had to thaw out the freezer since it was frozen solid and the drawers wouldn't open and the internet isn't working but I already submitted a maintenance report so hopefully it's fixed before my online talks start.

I hope you're doing well anyway Bee !! The post abt worrying about what direction your life is going is so real, a lot of the time I worry abt if college is gonna be right for me but only time will tell.

- 🦈

oh that's so exciting shark anon!!! don't worry too much, I remember when I was a 1st year in uni I thought my RA seemed very cool and put together.

also I'm sure if the internet is required for your classes they'll try to fix that asap. it's super nice that you don't have any in person lectures till the 16th! you get to chill and adjust till then!

yeah don't worry too much about where you're at yet shark. you're still in undergrad (I think?). you're not locking yourself into anything yet. you're going to get a lot of life experience at college and then you'll get even more life experience once you graduate and even then you might not exactly know what you want to do but you can figure it out one day at a time. just gotta let things go at their own pace. I'm always overthinking the direction of my life and I'm very prone to spiraling into anxiety episodes where I think I'm doing the wrong thing but my therapist reminded me today that there's always so many more opportunities than what people think there are. you can go so many directions with your life, it's just getting started :)