#i'm only bold enough to say stupid shit like that is because i don't believe this was the situation. to be fair

[bredforloyalty]

[californiaquail]

i have to bitch about my stupid fucking workplace or i'll die

ok i had a hot second where i thought it was getting better and i might be able to stick it out for long enough to not look terrible on my resume but then today my boss snapped SO hard at me literally just for doing my job and it almost made me cry. he usually has a huge stick up his ass about getting to people very promptly so when somebody pulled up outside who he needed to talk to my coworker said "oh go let him know mrs so and so is here" so i went over and he happened to be talking to his office manager whose dog has pancreatitis so i waited for a pause in the conversation and then said "mrs so and so is outside" and he was like "yeah i'll GET to it when i'm DONE with this" in such a forceful and bitchy tone that it made me physically recoil and say "ok just letting you know!" in a much nicer tone than i needed to and then i was struggling not to cry for the next 30 minutes for the crime of doing what i was told.

FURTHERMORE someone who previously held my position dropped her cat off today and they were all shit talking her behind her back and i've literally never heard them talk about previous assistants in any other way like it's always oh she was dumb oh she was such a know it all oh he hated her. i said "oh she seemed nice when i talked to her" because she was and my coworker was like "well when i came back to this job after taking a break he told me i had two jobs; to help [other tech] and get rid of her." so apparently this asshole literally will not just say it to the faces of his employees and just psychologically tortures them into quitting which really makes me think he's trying to do the same to me which is a realization i had many weeks ago but i was trying to believe i was making it up because i'm insane but i guess i'm NOT. to make this situation better one of the (two) techs is leaving after this week to go back to school and the other one doesn't work on fridays so i'm about to be the ONLY person to do all the animal restraining shit cleaning medical note taking prescription filling etc and his office manager leaves after 1 so phone calls after that too. for a man who openly dislikes me and does not speak to me at all if he doesn't have to. i asked the tech who's not leaving for advice and she said yeah have everything you can ready because as you can see he does as little work as possible. and i was like oh so we're all seeing that and you're just letting yourselves get walked all over and doing all of the work for him ok. then she reiterated what i already knew about not letting him see me not doing anything. then she told me "just pick up the phone and don't wait for someone to tell you you can" whole time i was never actually told that i'm supposed to be picking up phone calls i just started doing it when they weren't available because they told me to but i'm frequently unable to answer people's questions because i Just Fucking Started and i've never worked in a vet clinic before. and then i'm made to feel like i'm obnoxious for not knowing things and asking questions. if you are having issues with your employees being know it alls maybe you should stop making them feel like shit for not knowing things? also it is SO fucking bold of him to treat me like shit on his shoe when i am as mentioned about to be the only fucking person on fridays and one of two people the rest of the week. if you want me to quit so bad say it to my fucking face like a goddamn adult and clean the dog shit your damn self or make your poor office manager do it since you won't deign to do normal animal care tasks. he doesn't even have any fucking job postings up even though he's supposedly soooo short staffed (he is obviously but maybe he just doesn't care because he never does any of the work) and i know because i'm on all the job groups and on craigslist and indeed etc all the time because i hate this damn job and want one where everyone doesn't dislike me.

TO BE CLEAR i have been doing my level best this whole time despite being suicidally depressed (largely from this stupid fucking job) and exhausted from having to get up at 6:20 am to catch the bus, i have done everything i've been told to do to the best of my ability without complaining even shit like scrubbing the dead dog freezer or cleaning and reorganizing random ancient stuff no one has thought about in ten years or pointlessly cleaning things that aren't dirty just to look busy, i am always professional and polite to clients and my coworkers, i am often the first person there in the mornings and the last to clock out, i never bother him with questions because i learned very quickly he somehow doesn't have the answers to anything practical about how his business runs because he's comfortable being tech illiterate and making other people do it for him. as far as i can tell his dislike of me is literally just because i have god awful auditory processing so it takes me a while to understand verbal instructions and i have to ask people to say things again or repeat things back a lot. like he literally hates me for the crime of being a little slow and ? not automatically knowing ten million highly specific to this job and clinic things? i get paid $18/hr my rent for my room with my obnoxious preachy landlord costs WELL over half my paycheck i get absolutely no benefits i didn't even receive a contract or any kind of legal forms except a w2. broadly speaking i would consider myself a pretty patient person but now i'm just deeply pissed off and fucking broke on top of it. i think i'm going to give it one or two fridays to see how bad it really is and if it's as bad as i'm anticipating it would be generous of me to give two weeks' notice. and then does anyone think it would be detrimental to acquiring future jobs if i were to work in the weed industry? i can't tell if it would look bad to non weed employers but there's a listing for greenhouse people which i think sounds awesome. if you read this whole thing we will have an autumn wedding

[aeternallis]

May I just say though? Personally, when someone asks me to be accommodating towards them, I can usually entertain, should the circumstances allow it, and if I had also been given that in the first place.

However in this case, why exactly should I be made to feel obligated to accommodate that person (or anyone who had a hand on the dogpiling/gossip train) and give them the benefit of the doubt, when I myself was not given the courtesy?

That's like asking for something I don't have to give. You think it only takes a few days to get over incidents like this?

How about you all fucking try what it's like to be called "ableist" based on a few tags that was written in frustration, then to be dogpiled on and gossiped about god knows where, and called out publicly without even a chance to explain myself in private?

Like sure, now they ask me, now-when they may or may not have found out that I too am a POC in the fandom, who was just literally vibing in my own damn lane, when the defamation has already occurred, when I've already been gossiped about in certain circles, etc.

It's easier to ask for accommodation when the deed has already been done, yknow? LOL

I have no more hesitation to rant on this stupid blog of mine (besides the fact that this is my online diary, haha) since I've already been cancelled and called all kinds of ugly names in the book in this stupid fandom, but to whomever is still somehow keeping an eye on this blog-while I may not be in the icky habit of call out culture, please be aware that I have receipts.

And ngl, the hypocrisy is through the damn roof. Lol

Somehow those people who are still complaining about me on their platforms are bold enough with their back and forth behavior of "all fandom opinions should exist" vs "they should keep what I perceive to be character wank out of the tags" is such a damn whiplash that at this point, I'm pretty sure the two scary extremes of their behavior are all just efforts to create an echo chamber around them where their headcanons are affirmed.

And that's all well and good, create that echo chamber as much as y'all want and invite those people in said echo chamber under the guise of positivity, but lemme just say one thing now, as someone who's read the stupid KP novel twice now, as well as watched the show all the way through three times: no matter how much you want your headcanons to BE canon, THEY ARE NOT. echo chamber numbers don't mean shit against what's canon and what isn't.

Sure, pick and choose what aspects of canon you want to play with, that’s more than fine. But for the love of all the green pastures on god's earth, it is not a personal attack on you that I choose to engage in the canon dynamics, as depicted in the book and show. it is not a personal attack that I choose to talk about these things, omfg.

because believe me, I am NOT the only one with unpopular opinions in this fandom, and lemme tell y'all now, they want to be able to say what they want without fear of being cancelled, and you can only control an atmosphere of fandom for so long.

And finally, a few more things: one, the damn tags don't belong to anyone. Trying to control what is said in the tags, now that's fandom policing, not whatever the hell I was doing just ranting in my own blog and thinking to myself this is my safe space. two, playing the high horse card and saying it's all for the sake of "keeping the positivity in fandom" only creates an atmosphere of people walking on eggshells, of not being able to say what they want to say about the characters, as if somehow people aren't allowed to make mistakes, lest they too are dogpiled like I was.

how sensitive you are about these characters is no one else's problem but your own. I (and anyone else who doesn't agree with your headcanons) am not a damn babysitter, grow tf up.

[thattimdrakeguy]

Frankly, I don’t even give a damn about that whole thing with Gunn and his involvement with that certain company

If anything, this will be a cinematic universe equivalent of the time Bryan Singer directed a 2006 film for WB after the success of the first two X Men films. I bet it’ll maybe flop so badly just in the first try before it even has a chance because of the bad behavior and baggage surrounding it

Not something I give a damn enough to pay attention too. I’m only paying attention to when Godzilla Minus One and Godzilla x Kong are coming to theaters but that’s it

First of all, Superman Returns is an underrated classic. So how dare you. It has beautiful set design, music, movie moments, performances, and cinematography (Well, sometimes the movie looks oddly gross, but mostly). It's main flaw is not realizing the importance of trimming a plot down so you can keep things exciting and not lose people just long enough for them to not care.

Also, you don't have to agree with that. I don't actually care that much. It was directed by a pedophile for fucks sake. But y'know, sometimes terrible people make great work.

Even when those terrible people should be put in prison and shunned by society.

'Cause I'm not defending that asshole. Fuck him. I just liked a movie.

Fuck Kevin Spacey too. The way people talk about him, I'm led to believe he might be responsible for murders. But I ayy, that's just a theory. Just...just a theory. Let that meme that probably came to some people's mind die, because no one laughs at it anymore, it's getting sad.

But as far as Superman Legacy goes? Will probably be the best DC movie since The Suicide Squad.

James Gunn is capable of making awesome movies. And his sudden decision to make the Guardians care about killing at the weirdest time they could, will at least work for a Superman story that will presumably not have a bad guy who has killed billions upon billions and billions of people.

So, that's good, I guess.

It's so far everything else I am worried about. Not the quality of Creature Commandos, or the Green Lantern show, or the Booster Gold show. I feel like it'll be fine.

My gripe is absolutely ridiculous decisions with the greater DC Universe he's attempting to create.

For example of his most recent stupid statement, of saying stuff will carry over, but Superman Legacy is the first canon film.

Like what does that mean? If you're going to be carrying stuff over, presumably that means it is also canon. Or are you going to be retconning stuff as it goes along to serve your own desires, while mostly using stuff from past things on some occasions? Because that's confusing as hell.

It's like a kid doodling or day dreaming. They can follow and not follow what they want. They're a kid and their enjoyment is to be theirs's and usually theirs's alone.

Not so much when you're making an expanded cinematic universe, that people will want to comprehend so they can follow and enjoy themselves as it's further expanded.

Then his first slate is this:

Superman Legacy, which again I think will likely be great, if overcrowded.

The Authority (Who I heard will also be in Superman Legacy. So why is that coming up so soon? Seems self-serving and unnecessary, but I'm not judging it that badly. I'm only a little confused, and shrugging there. Not absolutely baffled or anything. They could easily do something to warrant it that makes sense.)

The Brave and the Bold:

Which is a movie directed by the dude that did the Flash, a movie that makes no sense logically, even in its own plot, and has so many bad moments and effects that it's difficult to sit through. That is also (Meaning Brave and The Bold here) ignoring most of the gold given to them from the source material. So they can have a Batman with a full family, that's likely to be too crowded for anyone to give a shit that isn't a pea brain who only needs to see something vaguely representing something they kind of know. When they have a much fresher Superman. Which creates a very similar problem the DCEU id to begin with. And is also bastardizing and missing the whole fucking point of the story it is trying to adapt. And on top of that, even if they adapting it in a way that makes more sense, would still be a TERRIBLE STORY TO ADAPT FOR THE FIRST BATMAN FILM IN THIS UNIVERSE.

Then there's: Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow.

Which makes me questioned why the fuck Batman, and later on Swamp Thing are going to be in it, when whatever plot it could possibly have seems to be mostly Superman related.

'Cause if we're having a movie where we have Superman, the entirety of the Authority Team, and the whole Bat-Family, as well as Supergirl, and Swamp Thing...THEN IT'S GONNA BE A MESS. This isn't the damn MCU where we had 10 years of time to make sure things worked.

And if this is not building up to anything that's only them, why waste a chapter (what they're calling phases) on that then? If you're going to take more time, shouldn't the chapters be bigger so people can get a clue what's going on in your messy messy mind? 'Cause that'll also waste people's time.

Also, also, and, and, why Swamp Thing?

That has James Mangold directing, so I trust that to be quite a good movie potentially. Maybe even the best of the whole chapter.

But who the fuck starts off the CINEMATIC UNIVERSE's first phase, with a character that largely only interacts with stuff in a very specific subsection, that I highly doubt will be able to be used in a way that makes that specific movie happening so fast worth it.

If I have to eat my words so be it. Because I don't want to expect things to be bad, nor do I want them to be bad. So eating my words would be a tasty dessert. I just can't imagine what bullshit he's planning, unless he's going about something in an extremely messy way.

Then we got the TV Shows, but whatever. I don't need them to be all connected, and I doubt they will be more heavily connected, since it'd be a bitch decision to expect people to watch the shows to care about the movies. When Marvel has been going on for nearly 15 years, and can't get people to bother with their shows that will explain very imperative stuff that needs to be understood and enjoyed fully.

BUT WAIT, OH NO

Lanterns IS supposed to tie in to the greater DCU story.

So he is expecting people to care that much for a universe, that is built on major cracks, and tarp that was put up to cover the collapsing walls of the place.

And I did see someone else also say that James Gunn is making a universe for himself (While I think also making many bullshit statements which made no one care about that part), and the main liked response is "Isn't that most movies?"

No, no it isn't.

Most people that make movies, make movies expected to make sense, and be enjoyed by a larger audience.

So no. And that's very stupid to say. But it sounded like a nice defense, so whatever I guess.

And regardless, that doesn't mean he's making good decisions, and while you can say "Yeah, but making stuff for himself by default isn't bad", I would be telling you in my brain since I'm not that rude in actual conversation to shut the fuck up, because the obvious implication is that he doesn't give a shit in a way that matters for it all to work out and be good in a way that feels properly fulfilling like we may have tapped the potential finally that DC has to offer.

So we're left, instead of that, a cinematic universe that at best is going to have a Batman movie that's going to be okay enough maybe at best, despite the many heinously asinine decisions behind the making of it. And a story that is either going to be super forced, or told in a very unsatisfying manner, or at least a confusing matter.

Should I wait to see? I do not care. I don't want to watch a universe that skipped straight to Damian. Because beyond the fact I don't think he's been a good character since the Dick Grayson led Batman and Robin--and that's ONLY during the time Grant Morrison wrote it. Wasting what might be dozens of good pieces of source material to create an emotionally effective, dazzling, well-woven movie trilogy (possibly behind) for the sake of making a movie, basically because some guy who has no experience actually crafting a cinematic universe (And seems to have issues with the one he did work on when it comes to how his specifically created stuff was intertwined. Maybe not big cry baby ones. But still), wanted to make an adaptation of a story that was only good for a small fragment of time, for specific reasons, and was surrounded by massive piles of dog shit directly because of the decisions that let that series be made in the first place, while also NOT adapting the parts of it that worked--is (One massive sentence later) MOR-ON-IC.

People that write the comics CAN'T EVEN WRITE THE BAT-FAMILY, most of the Bat-Family fandom (As in the vocal parts that are obsessed with the fandom) DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY'RE LIKE.

Am I supposed to trust this movie, given all of that, to get the characters right to begin with? I don't feel like I should. It would seem to be too much to naturally assume they'll get it right given preceding evidence.

Anyways, I think Superman Legacy will be a success. James Gunn carries a lot of weight.

But I don't think Authority will do well. Hardly anyone knows who they are, and they don't have a cool hook like Guardians of the Galaxy.

People act like it's a surprise Guardians of the Galaxy was successful 'cause no one knew the comic.

I think that's also silly. Not dumb, but silly.

A lot of movies have been adapted from things people don't know. It doesn't effect anything one way or another. It just has to seem interesting enough to watch on it's own terms.

At the same time, though, I'm not sure I think people want an ultra cynical super hero team right now. Nor one that is very much of the time it came from.

Unless they're going to have Superman teach them the lesson of optimism. In which case, why the fuck are you doing an Authority movie, where they don't act like what people liked about them to begin with.

Seems lose lose.

I can't help but feel like they're either going to lose the box office, or the soul of the property.

If the Flash, a well-known character can't do it. And Shazam 2, a movie that is a sequel to a successful movie people loved didn't do it. Or Black Adam, a movie starring one of the highest grossing movie stars of the current day couldn't do it.

Then I'm not sure I can see how The Authority is going to do it.

And with competition from a sequel spawning from a critically acclaimed Batman movie, I don't think Brave and the Bold will do extraordinarily well, especially when they got the people working on The Flash behind it. 'Cause unless James Gunn magically knows they actually know how Batman works and for some reason didn't show that before, it's not going to be a great movie, or a movie the greater fan base will like. It's going to be a movie that fandom people like--maaaaybe. The fans that aren't really as vast as people think, but are simply loud, and only cares about the brand names in the end. As shown by how little true successes DC has lately. Their 'successes' are mostly based on the standards of how low they fallen. Which is de-press-ing.

Supergirl likely won't do well, since we just had Superman, and most people don't care about Supergirl that aren't comic people to begin with. Even the television series struggled a bit, and people who watched did like it--I think. Well, sometimes. It has a fandom obsessed with it, but no shit. That's what a fandom is. I can't take anything out of that, general view wise.

Swamp Thing I imagine will be great, but it's so niche I don't think it will make big money. But if they're smart they'll use just enough money to make it look good and leave it at that. So it could make money if they're smart. People like horror flicks, and monster movies. There's natural potential there.

It's a TV series' world out there, with people enjoying serialized storytelling more than ever. So I think the series' will do okay.

If I'm proven wrong, I won't be totally shocked. But I would be surprised.

When James Gunn was announced as head of the DCU, I was happy, quite happy. The Suicide Squad is my favorite DCEU movie by a large margin. I love the Guardians of the Galaxy movies. All of them. Even if I have issues with the 3rd one hardly anyone seems to talk about. Like that movie really wasted Adam Warlock. He might as well have never been built up if he was going to do so little that could easily be switched out with someone or something else.

It so happens, that I am not a man of bias though. As that may sometimes seem. The last time my blog had relevance, and wasn't used as the dark void I scream into, I was actively shitting on one of my favorite comic book writers series' that was starring my favorite DC character.

I've learned over the years of being in a fandom that acts like a cult sometimes, that just accepting what you're brain tells you is closer to reality than the nonsense mental gymnastics you came up with to convince yourself otherwise.

So I'm not letting my love of other James Gunn movies make me ignore all these weird decisions, that are weird, and to an extent awful at least in enough of a way to mean something no matter how you swing it.

Also best of luck with Zilla shenanigans. I have no upcoming movies I'm eagerly awaiting for that's coming out anytime soon. I'm abiding my time 'til Deadpool. A movie that is directed and written by people who make continuously great movies that don't make me scratch my head. Because thankfully they just have to work on one hero's story, not look over all of them, where they'd probably also mess up.

You can't have a guy who treats creative properties like toys run your cinematic universe. He has a great mind for some things, but I don't think he has the sense for this.

[standardquip]

Gungrave live reactions

for the entire series CW: sexism(?), racism(?), vulgar language, I am a 36 year old man who did not censor my thoughts as I was watching it. This took a little over a month and is just a compilation of discord messages I sent

gotta say the opening scene of the first ep is great I wish his name wasn't "Brandon Heat" though I'm sorry but that's a lame name Especially for an anime ok his anime name is "Beyond the Grave" Glad we got that established

I'm about 2/3 through the first ep and this is definitely a 90s anime 😂 (not that there's anything wrong with that)

gungrave ep 2 They named the black kid kenny I will be very surprised if kenny doesn't die this ep

someone died in ep2 It was not kenny I am genuinely shocked here's to ep3

kenny has finally died But so did a lot of other people RIP Kenny

It's going a lot harder (emotionally) than I was expecting, given the first ep I'm just starting ep4 now

so far my biggest problem with gungrave is that brandon seems like a mute character but he talks sometimes But the times he talks make no sense, they're not really that important So the whole decision to not talk a lot seems super awkward instead

yeah edgy teen show is definitely ep 1 and not any ep after that (so far) (I'm only on ep 4)

another thing that bugs me is all the pans are weirdly fast but the mute/not actually thing brandon does bugs me way more than the pans

ep6 I like harry more than brandon didn't anticipate that

oh god the audio delay on this ep is horrible I hope it's just this one ep and not the rest of them

ep11 of gungrave bold strategy, cotton.gif let's see if it pays off it only worked out because of plot armor

ep12 of gungrave Brandon got a hair cut and looks like a real yakuza now

… I hate it

gungrave ep14 normally I don't care about fictitious relationships or how problematic they are but maria has convinced herself she loves her grandfather, who raised her, because brandon broke up with her and orchestrated a perfect moment And now she's pregnant by her grandfather and like this is scummy in so many different ways but mostly I just feel kinda 😩 about what it says about maria's intelligence in fact all the women in this series (actually now that I think about it, there is literally ONLY TWO) are just really fucking dumb

ep14 has some real beautiful compositional symbolism (unsure if that's the accurate term) Harry wears white and brandon wears black harry is in the shadow and brandon isn't harry tries to get brandon to betray the family and of course brandon won't. He goes to shoot harry. But doesn't and starts crying the gun lands precisely in the middle. Implying brandon's thinking about it? Or maybe it's just for symmetry. idk

this scene really slaps you over the head with symbolism. I don't care. I'm a fan

damn this show took a fucking turn

oh good just in time for Harry's break down ep15 is where the grey haired brandon comes in!

Maria is the dumbest bitch ever "I just found out brandon is alive! Oh I didn't see him myself. An aide of mine said they talked to him" Maria: Cries from happiness "Oh just knowing he's alive is enough!" bitch please supernatural stuff isn't known in this canon do you just believe everything you're told? wtf This is some pregnancy psychosis shit

damn you think Harry went crazy with power but he really went crazy with power

damn what's in this suitcase that makes it weigh so much ep18 brandon finally comes out of a coma

ep18 is where ep1 left off

while watching gungrave I had some fever memory recollection of an anime called Heat Guy J So I looked it up It seems to be a combination of robocop and minority report?? Also it has a werewolf apparently

ep22 of gungrave I think I can fit this in before I need to leave this is totally gonna end with mika, who is like 17, dating brandon/grave if it doesn't, I'm gonna be surprised so all three women in this show will get with dramatically older guys and also be stupid idiots

hm ok brandon/grave only has 10 days of life left unless they magically come up with a different way to make him live so there's 2 eps to figure that out and/or have sex we'll seeeeeeeeeee oh, 4 eps actually Whatever anyway I'm out for a few hours to the family function

gonna attempt to finish gungrave I'm starting ep 23 of 26 gonna play them at 1.5x normal speed good mika (16ish) professes her love for grave (40+, died once) and grave is like "I'll be your guardian and protect you but that's all" Good We don't need yet another pedo relationship in this anime

ep24 "promise me you won't die before me" the girl who married a guy 30 years her senior says 🙄 oh I guess this was foreshadowing She got shot and died

grave is literally falling apart like bad pottery ep25

lmao harry, the guy who has no issues murdering literally anybody, swerved to avoid a cat in the road

the crash from the cat was so bad his whole life flashed before his eyes. This ep was a huge flashback oh grave's hair is white instead of grey now I guess because he's almost dead… again ep26 Last one

it's over they killed eachother

[adoringhaikyuu]

omg i love the 'bringin up divorce during an argument' so much maybe bcs i can reallu see myself as y/n??? if ever u have time, please do another part if it's okay! thankyou so much and more imagines/scenarios/headcannons to come <333

YOU BRING UP DIVORCE DURING AN ARGUMENT WITH THEM | 3

characters: kenma + kyoutani + ushijima + (gn!reader)

warnings: none

notes: thank u sm!

part one / part two / part three

kenma:

kenma had been kind of distant recently because he was too focused on his work

and you knew that it wasn't necessarily easy, there was pressure with being a public figure

but part of you constantly reminded yourself that he was essentially ignoring you to play video games all day and that really put you on edge

you got into an argument with him about it and since he was so tired, it just felt like he wasn't listening to you and was basically invalidating your feelings

in reality he just didn't want to fight with you, so he shut down, hoping that letting you vent would make you feel better

but it felt like he didn't care

so you snapped and let out your intrusive thought

"if this is how it's going to be, we might as well end things here, kenma."

his eyes widened immediately, his mouth dropping open as he froze in place, suddenly feeling stuffy in his oversized hoodie. his hair was already up, but he felt overwhelmingly hot...and cold? was it possible to feel both at the same time?

while he was going through this turmoil in his mind, his silence only made you believe that he truly didn't care. maybe he was happy to be getting rid of you. but just as you made a move to walk away, he came to his senses somehow and stepped forward.

he grabbed your hand hesitantly and you finally looked into his eyes, noticing the panic in them. "please..." his voice was quiet, but as strong as he could make it, despite the erratic beat of his heart in his chest. "i don't want––please don't leave me..."

you paused, honestly a little shocked by his words. he never was one to outwardly show affection, he stuck to subtle actions.

but you sighed, "it just feels like you don't even want me anymore ken..."

he closed the distance between you and placed a hand on your cheek, looking into your eyes. "i don't want you, i need you. i need you now and i'll need you forever. you're what gets me through everything––" he looked down sheepishly, his tone apologetic. "i'm sorry i haven't been showing it enough, baby. but i promise i'll do better. please let me try."

though you wish he'd realized sooner, his words did soothe you and you couldn't help but accept. you nodded and bit your lip, "okay."

the relief was clear in his eyes as he sighed and gave you a small smile. "thank you." he pressed his lips to yours softly, keeping his eyes closed when he pulled back to rest his forehead against yours. he didn't say more, but you could tell in his head, he was saying i love you, i really do.

kyoutani:

you and kyoutani were both bold characters

not afraid to say what you were thinking––or rather you let your emotions get to the best of you and speak as soon as the words came to mind

he lost a match today and he already wasn't in a bad mood

so that put you in a bad mood

he said something stupid and that fueled the fire

so now you were both basically shouting at each other, fumes flying out of your ears

"i'm tired of this shit, taro! you need to watch your temper!"

he was storming away from you but you were nowhere near done with him, hot on his tail. "oh yeah that's real funny coming from you!" he practically growled as he made his way into the bedroom. “i’m tired of your shit too! you think you’re so perfect?” he scoffed and you rolled your eyes, having had enough.

your fists were clenching at your sides and you blinked back your tears furiously before letting out a sharp breath. “you know what?” your voice was icy and though it got his attention, he didn’t turn to face you, only continuing about his business.

“if you’re so sick of me then we should just get a divorce.” as soon as you uttered those words, you both froze for different reasons. you knew you didn’t mean it, you would never—sure he got on your nerves sometimes but you loved him to death. you were just so wound up that your fight or flight reacted too quickly and spoke for you without giving you a chance to think.

kyoutani’s body became rigid as a rock within a second. he swallowed audibly, almost feeling a sour taste in his mouth just from your words. surely you didn’t mean that, right? ”what?” his voice was as quiet as a whisper, it lost all its bite.

he turned around to find you staring at him with wide, teary eyes, confusion clear in them. “you want a…” he couldn’t even say the word.

you shook your head, your mouth closing nervously. “i didn’t—i don’t want that.” you sighed, defeated, bringing a hand up to cover your eyes as you let out a shaky breath. “i didn’t mean to say that i was just upset.”

you tried to blink back the tears again and cursed quietly when one of them slipped, dropping your hand and looking up when you felt a hand cradle your jaw, a thumb swipe your cheek.

kyoutani was looking at you fiercely, a mixture of emotions pooling in his eyes. "...i'm sorry that i made you this upset––" his voice was gruff, regretful. "i never want to hurt you."

your bottom lip trembled and you stepped into his arms, pressing your face against his chest, holding him tight as he did the same to you. he leaned his cheek on your head and sighed, "i'm sorry."

you could feel him sigh in relief as you sunk into him. you knew he was tired, disappointed in himself for not winning tonight. you gripped him tight. "i'm sorry too."

ushijima:

when ushijima was tired, he was often dismissive without even realizing

now, you never shouted at each other

so your (rare) fights usually consisted of sighs and eye rolls and even silent treatments

and somehow that felt worse

it just felt like he wasn't listening to you today, and you had already had a stressful day at work

so you were really just talking without thinking

you sighed for the fifteenth time in the past ten minutes, throwing on your pajamas as you and ushijima argued. "you're not listening to what i'm saying––"

he raised a brow, "i am listening, i just don't see the problem. because there is none."

you rolled your eyes so far back you felt as though they would get stuck in the back of your skull. you tried to take deep breaths to calm yourself down, but the little devil on your shoulder was just shouting at you to be petty, to lash out.

in all honesty, you were hoping to mutter it to yourself at most, but it came out way louder than intended and he managed to hear it from across the bedroom. "well maybe the problem is that we need a divorce, how about that."

you paused, your hands straightening out your sweatshirt slowing down as you blinked, suddenly feeling a faint urge to throw up. your back was turned to your husband but you could feel his eyes staring at you, practically burning through your clothes, piercing your soul.

you felt him step up behind you hesitantly. "...is that what you really want?"

you swallowed and turned around slowly, choosing to focus your gaze on his chest. you shook your head, the words taking a while to form. you felt guilty and small under his gaze, you didn't mean to say something so cruel, something you didn't mean.

"i...i don't want a divorce, i promise." you sighed, and he tilted your head up to look into your eyes, making you take notice of the fear in his. "i'm just overwhelmed, and it slipped out." you looked at him earnestly, "i promise i would never want that."

he blinked a few times before nodding once, "okay." he stared at you for a moment, his heart aching at the thought that he wouldn't be able to call you his anymore. "i'm sorry, truly...can i hold you?"

you gave him a small smile, immediately stepping into his embrace. "you know you don't have to ask, ushi."

he held you tight and pressed his lips to your forehead. "i'll do better from now on, i never want to lose you."

[vivithefolle]

Hello! I just wanted to pop by and say I’m sorry for spamming your blog with likes and reblogs the last couple days. I just was desperately looking for Ron content I hadn’t seen before and kinda fell in love with your blog (I also found you on Quora and love your answers there also)! I’d keep going back even further than I made it (sorry if that’s creepy) if I didn’t keep losing my spot and having to scroll all the way back to where I was (stupid phone). I want to be as bold as you are when it comes to defending Ron. He’s my hyperfixation and the way you passionately defend him is amazing. You take no shit and don’t let anyone make you feel bad for loving Ron. I love your fight back attitude because you’re right - Ron fans have spent decades fighting for our lives in this godforsaken fandom. Anyways, thank you for inspiring me to be loud and proud about defending Ron. It’s becoming a hobby of mine.

Don't be sorry! I'm glad you enjoyed my blog! Do keep in mind though that I've been... needlessly aggressive in the past, over sometimes misunderstandings. I can be much too angry, so... be careful. I tend to forget that behind the messages, there's another human being... ... a human being that's also a Ron-bashing asshole, yes, but a human being nonetheless.

Anyway yeah!! It's exhausting how much casual Ron-hate is still tossed around, and how even Romione shippers will call shitty toxic tropes "cute :)". Yeah sure, maybe Hermione saying "oh Ron you're MY idiot :)" was cute once. But when you've seen over a thousand fics where Hermione calls Ron "MY idiot :)" while Ron gets cruxified the SECOND he's upset at her, yeah that's not being a Ron fan, that's just being a Mary Suemione simp.

I should really finish my fanfictions, show an example of what kind of content I wish Romione could be. Enough of the bootlicking for Hermione, enough excuses for her, enough of thinking that her academic results are somehow proof of her being on another level of being. I hate that kind of thinking. People really have no idea what school does to kids, do they?

Other folks have talked about it before, and it's true, that a lot of Ron-hate is steeped in social issues. Classism, elitism, sexism, ableism, puritanical Calvinist bullshit from the USA's finest """Christians""". The notion of Ron being "useless" and how that means he shouldn't be friends with Harry and Hermione... like, my guy, you know that's the way Voldemort thinks right?

It's kind of astonishing how badly this fandom misses the point of the whole series (it's not like Rowling was being subtle about it!!), but then these are the idiots that worship Draco Malfoy and claim he was redeemed when his last action pre-Epilogue was to claim he was on the Death Eater's side. If that's the role model these folks want then no wonder they can't appreciate Ron: Ron actually recognized when he fucked up and actually apologized and tried to do better, while Draco was saying racial slurs and showed no remorse aside from that time he cried about how murdering people is hard. Of course the fandom of folks who believe that Harry should forgive Malfoy when Malfoy never apologized would assume that Ron is a bad guy: can you believe that Ron shows remorse? Remorse is for weak people. Only cool people don't have remorse, because that means they have nothing to regret. That's how it works right?

Anyway. The HP fandom sucks, it's a cesspool of bigoted jerks that like to pretend they're really progressive but are just a mirror of their much-loathed author whom they still worship through Hermione dearest. Rowling's books teach us that it's okay to impose your ideas onto the "lesser" peoples because it's for their own good, that a few performative words about how you think everyone is equal is enough to have you branded "tolerant" even your other behaviour is the polar opposite (see how Hermione will chide Ron for being "racist" towards giants when he points out that they're violent... only to be a quivering terrified mess in front of Grawp, yeah, I can smell the tolerance from here), and OF COURSE, that girly girls are dumb sluts here to steal yo man. Oh and also that the man is always to blame, and if he's feeling hurt by something, it's invalid unless he's an orphan.

This fandom sucks, but that's the only place where there's a tiny chance to find actually decent Ron content. Woe.

[love-amihan]

| ʜᴏᴍᴇ | ᴊᴊᴋ | ᴀᴏᴛ | ʜǫ | ꜰɪʟᴏ | ᴛᴀɢʟɪsᴛs | ᴍɪᴍɪ |

GAMER BOYFIES // YUJI, MEGUMI, TOGE

amihan's note: just imagine these boys being gamers 🤔 i don't play that much games so ig im gonna focus on codm and among us bcs your girlie don't have a setup nor a good laptop to dl good games with 😩✋ here you go, happy reading!

bf!yuji x gn!reader, bf!megumi x gn!reader, bf!toge x fem!reader

-itadori yuji

will let you sit on his lap whenever he plays

chin resting on your shoulder

off-mic if ever you're with him

you tell him where the enemies are

teaches you how to play because he wanna play with you

great support whenever you're his teammate

your screen displays your character dramatically falling down causing you look back to your boyfriend with a pout, "i don't wanna play anymore!"

you huff and cross your arms, yuji chuckles at your pouty face leaving a kiss on your lips.

he lifts you up from where you're seated pulling you to his lap, "come on now, don't let one kill throw your game" he sweetly encourages you.

"fine," you turn to your screen showing that an enemy killed you yet again, yuji couldn't help but laugh at your screen.

you throw a mini tantrum tossing your phone to the side, huffing. he wraps his arms around you his phone screen coming in your sight.

his fingers maneuver fast on the screen skillfully killing the enemies, yuji gives your neck a light peck as a silent apology and continue playing the game.

"stupid game" you grumble under your breath nuzzling your back to yuji more giving up on playing choosing to watch and point out to your boyfriend instead.

whenever you play au with him, he'll always set bets on it

if he's the impostor he always kill you first then laughs at you

"babe continue your tasks" he says while humming happily

when the tables turn though... he gets all pouty and glares at you

he really takes it seriously like baby it's just a game

but give him a kiss all will be forgiven

you're peacefully waiting for your task to finish when you get a glimpse of someone walking towards you.

that someone being the same color your boyfriend usually use. you shrug it off thinking he's there to do his task too.

once your task is done, you see him standing there causing for both your characters to fall in a staring contest.

until your boyfriend decided to kill you and walk away from the scene like nothing happened.

you let out a loud gasp dropping your phone on your lap looking at your boyfriend from across the room.

"what? i'm decent enough to let you finish your task!" he tries defending himself, you roll your eyes at him.

"next time i'll kill you first, i don't care if it's in front of the other crewmates," yuji giggles, loving how he easily gets you riled up.

-fushiguro megumi

he's the quiet one on the team

always has his mic on but seldom talks

wants you to be near him whenever he plays

why? because he wants your praises when he wins

he killed an enemy after sniping? immediately looks at you, praise him!

when you're his teammate, he's sticking with you whether you like it or not

his teammates gets annoyed since you're the only one benefiting from him

megumi will probably trash talk them

which is so out of character of him

you two eventually gets kick out

ended up playing duo because of megumi

not that he's complaining though

you're leaning to your boyfriend's side as you watch him play his game.

you hear the muffled cries of his teammates through his earphones as their enemy pulls through.

megumi scopes in aiming for a headshot, clicking the fire button. he successfully kills the enemy, his gaze fleeting up to look at you.

you smile at his cute actions, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, "flawless" you simply commented.

he turns back to his screen with a smug look on his face, really getting into game now.

"i'll join next game?" you wave your phone to him asking for permission, he nods as his screen showed bold letters of winner.

when you tell him to be the look out as you do your task, he innocently follows you

he ends up getting killed because you're the impostor

he gives you the most betrayed look as you giggle walking away from the scene

never follows and stays far away from there on

doesn't believe anything you say anymore, even though you're telling the truth

gumi's bby: someone come with me, gonna do long task

yes, it was megumi who told u to have that name

you send in the chat, trying new tactics to eliminate the crew faster, so far the impostors has killed one crew.

after the meeting, you all do your respective tasks, megumi end up going with you since he's done with his tasks.

you stand where the long tasks usually are, megumi stays behind being the lovely boyfriend he is.

he keeps a look-out for you as you pretend to do your so-called 'task'. you move closer to him.

both your characters in close proximity, you make a kissing sound giving an illusion of you giving him a kiss in-game before pushing the kill button.

you heard a soft gasp from him as you run away from the scene while giggling, "how dare you" he whispers.

you shrug "i gave you a smooch," he groans as his character floats around, yeah at least he got a smooch.

-inumaki toge

also have his mic on all the time

enjoys catfishing players with you

he always throws off the game

but when his teammate starts throwing tantrums he just full on pops off

in the end he's the mvp

if you start talking shit out of nowhere

toge just laughs

but if his teammates starts asking personal questions

he will start making his presence known

if you're on all mic however, and the other team starts talking shit because you're a girl

he won't stop targeting that particular player, game be damned

he won't let the player play

he will kill him everytime he respawns

"woah dude your aim is shit" you say as toge's phone replays the kill cam.

the opponent used a whole damn mag just to kill him. toge stifles a laugh, your voice full of sincerity.

that one must have went straight to his heart. "pfft, like yours is any better. be a good girl, go and make me a sandwich" hate these kind of guys the enemy replies, his voice can be heard by all.

toge frowns at this, you look at him with your mouth agape. unbelievable, he really pulled out that shit card, "show him," you whisper to his ear as he nods at you while smirking.

his character is already making its way towards the enemy. once finding the enemy, he switches to knife and did a clean cut causing him to die.

you snort and mock him, "pathetic" you let a low laugh, toge smiling wide.

the other players are also laughing hearing the frustrated shout of the enemy, "like mine is any better huh?" you taunt him.

toge's teammates are entertained by the scene letting him kill the same enemy over and over again using knife.

due to frustration and anger the enemy leaves the game, you double in laughter, "fucking pussy" you kiss toge's cheek, as a silent 'thank you'.

now in among us though, whenever a meeting is called he always tells you're the impostor

makes up shitty excuses saying you're really the impostor

you defending yourself, other players believed his lies

'y/n was not an impostor' you look at him then scoot away as he tries getting closer with you again

your phone displayed your character floats away in space, your name appears on the screen informing you're not the imposter.

you glare at toge who's laughing at his screen, you groan and move away with him. he notices you moving away and whines trying to get closer to you again.

but you didn't let him get any closer focusing on your phone. toge pouts still trying to cuddle with you, one of the crew calls a meeting as soon as it's available.

you forget about getting away from toge when you see that he got all the vote, you laugh, his character floating away.

toge successfully gets a hold of you and snuggles to your side. his phone long forgotten, not wanting to play anymore and just cuddle with you.

copyright © 2021 by love-amihan all rights reserved. do not repost in other platforms. reblogs are welcome and highly appreciated! <33

[writing-good-vibes]

and it's usually quite loud

another sinclair brothers slice of life. i just love making them fight over petty shit. bold is sign as always.

*

"Look, I said I will tape it for you the next time it is on TV!"

"That isn't the point though!"

"I know your point and you're being stupid."

"I'm being stupid? Turns out you can't fuckin' read apparently!"

They'd been going on like this since before dinner was ready and had paused it only once to bicker about Bo's brisket carving technique, before continuing their main argument over the dinner table.

Since then, the table hasn't been quiet; the constant rattling of cutlery as it is dropped and picked up again with Vincent's yelling. Even Bo, who wasn't one to be parted from a meal, would throw his fork down if he was particularly irate, signing messily but none the less furiously at Vincent, just to drive his point home.

Vincent slammed his own fork down in anger and quickly replied, "I can read, and there wasn't one thing on that tape that said not to tape over it!"

"I told you last week not to use that tape!"

"You have a million more tapes, it's not like you have nothing to watch now!"

"That is not the point," Bo repeats, "I liked that episode and I told you not to use my shit without asking!"

"Fuck you, you use my things all the time!"

"Like what?"

"My boots are still at the back door because you wore them last week and have not cleaned them!"

"That was for a practical purpose! And," Bo jabs his fork in Vincent's direction, "I will clean them. You can't get my tape back."

"I can't believe you're so hung up about this. Why are you so attached to that episode?"

"Episode of what?" Lester asks. He's had no idea what this argument was even about seeing as it started before he even arrived at the house. Knowing Bo, there were two options: Star Trek or Knight Rider.

Bo answers Vincent's question defensively, "I am not 'attached'! What, is it a crime to enjoy a TV show now?" At the same time, Vincent replies "Star Trek," to Lester.

Lester nods, though no one is really taking much notice of his opinion on this whole thing.

Bo goes back to his dinner, but keeps talking, "It's the principle of the thing, Vince."

"Whatever. I'll tape it again for you."

Bo grunts. Vincent grunts back.

Lester sits there in silence, glad that they seem to have come to an agreement, although he doesn't quite understand what has just happened. He loves his brothers, he does, but their arguments can go around in circles for hours sometimes with no apparent end other than the moment they both get bored of arguing. Lester's just glad they finally seem content to leave this one be. For now.

"They're giving me more hours at work," Lester says, throwing the fact into the room and awaiting a reaction.

"More?" Bo asks, "You're already out there breakin' your damn back every day."

"I - We need the money."

"We don't need nothin' we can't get elsewhere. You need help wi' money, you come to us, alright. We'll figure it out."

"It's just a couple extra hours, Bo. Aint no harm."

Bo raises a brow as he chews thoughtfully on his brisket.

The rest of the night passes uneventfully. The twins give up their arguing for the night and there's a steady supply of beers in the fridge.

When it gets late enough and Lester has had his fill of eating the twins' food, he makes to leave. Bo waves him goodbye from the couch with one hand, taking a swig from his bottle of beer, eyes still trained on the TV.

Vincent walks him to the door. He never normally does that.

"See you 'round, Vince," Lester says, already opening the door.

Vincent takes a swig from his own beer bottle before putting it down on the side table to speak, glancing behind him to make sure Bo is still watching TV. "While you are out tomorrow, will you get a TV magazine for me? So I can find when that stupid episode is next on."

Lester scoffs softly, keeping his voice down, "You really gonna coddle him like that?"

"Shut up," Vincent smirks. "He'll be on my ass about it if I don't. "

Lester shrugs, "Sure thing." He pats Vincent heartily on the shoulder.

"You either in or you out," Bo calls, "You're letting all the heat out."

"See you, Bo," Lester calls back, finally setting out into the cold night and heading down the path to his truck.

[apixrl]

SINCERELY, YOURS.

hanta sero x fem!reader

WARNING(S): none

word count: 3.0k

song: sincerely, yours // nohidea

note(s): i just think that he'd be the perfect hubby tbh (EDIT: I'M SO DUMB I POSTED W/O TAGS PFAHAHHA)

Hanta finally managed to force open the door to the log cabin that had long been awaiting your arrival, the wooden structure welcoming the approaching warmth and laughter of the newly wedded couple. The ravenette smirked joyously and let out a triumphant 'hoorah', your laughter only adding to the display of ego on his face.

"And you said I'd drop you," Hanta mocked your earlier words, looking down at you with that very same smirk. If not for your arms wrapped around his neck and entire weight held in his arms, you most likely would have pushed his face away by the cheek. To avoid that shit-eating, joking smirk that rarely left his dumb and lovable face. The face you fell for so undoubtedly swift and heavy.

"I didn't say you would I said you may drop me," Was your response. "It's not every day we walk through so much snow!"

"Hush now, that was nothing to me," Hanta lifted the arm that supported your back, planting his lips on your forehead in a sweet welcoming kiss. Your lips curled in approval, accepting the gesture as Hanta used his foot to close the door behind you both, driving away the cold breeze from outside as warmth replaced it. "Now would you look at this place!"

Heeding Hanta's words, your eyes averted from his addicting gaze to the bonnie log cabin interior set out before you two. From left to right the cabin maintained an earthy theme, consistent in wooden textures excluding that of the supple beige sofas in the centre of the room. They were accompanied with ripening red cushions, as well as a few other pieces of furniture containing the same colour to maintain an advertising aesthetic no doubt. Lengthy beams stretched from one end of the walls to the other, set out in rows. The deepest wall (opposite to the entrance) was made mostly out of glass and onlooking a gorgeous snowy forest scene, small golden lights lit up outside to only add to the aura already presented. Built-up by red bricks and extending up toward the ceiling was a great open fireplace, already sparked alight and sensing a contrasting warmth to the bitter cold outdoors. In the corner of the room were a set of stairs most likely directing themselves off to the bedroom, though you and Hanta were so taken by the bottom floor's interior neither of you even processed there were more rooms to see.

"Wow... this place is gorgeous!" You said through a whisper, face lighting up at the sight. Never had you thought a place could be so beautifully arranged and so beautiful in general, and the two of you had this place to yourselves for an entire two weeks... it made you feel like the luckiest person alive! That you were really, as you'd just tied the knot the love of your life and were starting an entirely new journey with him. From the very moment you'd both uttered 'I do' in front of all your friends and family - the paths you lead became one that you would waltz down together.

"So you like it then?" Hanta asked, ebony eyes trailing away from the open fire and down to your own E/C irises. His smirk slowly transitioned to an endearing grin upon seeing your face of wonder, heart skipping a beat as your gaze met his and your expression mirrored.

"Of course! It's just how I imagined it - even more stunning than the pictures online," Your hand grazed Hanta's gloved one, though the barricade of wool and cotton did nothing to prevent the love and desire sent through the tips of your fingers. The ravenette admired your beauty in that lingering stare shared between you, exhaling a content sigh. You never failed to astound him with your beauty, the way your eyes glowed whenever you looked at him. How your hair fell perfectly into place no matter the circumstance (even on your worst of hair days you somehow managed to make it work). Not to mention your smile and laugh - those specific factors alone making Hanta fall for you over and over and exceeding limits of love and admiration he didn't even think he possessed.

Just before Hanta was to fall into daydream you shook him out his thoughts, the shifting of weight in his arms struck him to shake out of it, realising that you were attempting to shuffle out his arms in order to stand. So he let you down, grip loosening and reluctantly allowing you to step away.

"I'm glad," He quickly uttered, his hand lifting to his head to remove the woolly hat resting there. Then he proceeded to unbutton his winter coat as did you, the pair of you making light work of it due to the excitement of exploring your temporary home.

"So our suitcases are already here?" You asked Hanta, straightening out your knitted turtleneck jumper which was a soft pink shade. Usually something you wouldn't wear, but it was well-suited for the weather and didn't irritate your skin. So you took advantage of the purchase. From your left Hanta hummed softly, turning towards you once he was done hanging his coat on the rack. He too had a turtleneck on, but his donned a collect of abstract patterns and stuck to more neutral colours than yours.

"Yep, they should be upstairs," Hanta replied, running a hand through his hair as he looked over at you. He shifted over to your side, hugging you from behind with a mischievous chuckle. "But we can unpack tomorrow,"

"I like the idea of that, I just wanna snuggle," You responded with a giggle, leaning back into your husband's hold. After a few seconds Hanta stepped forwards, forcing your feet to follow suit. The ravenette guided you both to the nearest sofa, where he messily fell back against the ruby red cushions and you alongside him.

"That's because you procrastinate more than you've ever been willing to admit," Hanta turned you over so you sat atop his middle, hands settled on your hips like they were structured to hold them. There was a smirk on his face as you rolled your eyes at his last comment.

"I procrastinate because you distract me," You corrected, poking his chest with a prominent finger.

"Ah well, what can I say? I'm just that pretty aren't I?" He replied, laughing joyously. You couldn't help but echo with your own form of a chuckle, shaking your head as the smile on your face sent Hanta all kinds of elated emotions through his veins.

"You're not wrong there, Tiger," You grinned ear to ear, staring lovingly in his direction. Words weren't enough to express how much you loved him, your mind struggling to form sentences most of the time with just how much he took your breath away. In truth, you would have allowed yourself to remain gazing into Hanta's eyes the entire night. But you were due to catch sight of an envelope on the coffee table next to you both, drawing your attention away from him as fast as it came. The item too out of the ordinary to ignore. Peculiarly you leaned over to grab it, tilting your head at the item.

"What's that?"

"I don't know," Was your answer. Your fingers proceeded to slit open the top, discovering a smaller, folded piece of paper inside. Curiously you opened it up, voice filling the room as you discovered golden ink was printed on one side and intended to read it out.

" Dear Mr and Mrs Sero,

We are beyond pleased that you chose to stay with us for your honeymoon. Have a wonderful and splendid time at the start of your journey together and we wish you nothing but happiness and joy during your stay.

Kindest regards,

[resort/name] "

"Mr and Mrs Sero," Hanta repeated with a thoughtful stare to the wooden beams above. "I'm still not used to hearing that and we've already been married a week," A smile formed on his lips, releasing a chuckle from the depths of his chest. Almost like he couldn't believe the words he had just uttered. Tilting your head, you pondered on what he meant.

"How do you mean?" You didn't receive an answer straight away, the man you called your husband gently sighed, almost with the case of the lovesick. Somewhere during the exhale Hanta's eyes fell from the beamed ceiling and onto you, gratitude threaded in his expression as he stared at you.

"I just don't know how I got so lucky to marry someone like you," His hand extended to cup your cheek, cradling the slightly chilled part of your face (thanks to the cold air and wind from outside) as his thumb stroked the surface of your skin. Your eyes widened, all too used to the gesture but rarely ever prepared for it whenever Hanta committed to it. You smiled, nuzzling into his warm hold as your eyes closed.

"Me too," You hummed, sighing out yourself as your heart fluttered higher and higher with each passing second. A short silence ensued, ending as you abruptly let out a little laugh. It caught Hanta's attention, his head cosying into the cushion behind him as his brows raised.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing. I was just thinking about the night you proposed. That's all," Another laugh escaped, humour striking you as you recalled how it had played out. From the manner your lover rolled his eyes, he clearly still hadn't emotionally recovered from it.

"That stupid fire pit," He groaned, eyes closing in annoyance. "I can't believe I let it ruin the moment,"

"I don't think that was the fire's intention, Hants,"

Despite being blatantly confident and bold, when it came to more... intimacy-related things, Hanta Sero's expertise dwindled dangerously. It had taken him months of knowing you to actually ask you out on a date, and when you finally got together? Well, it took him four years before he began to think about popping the question - three months more to actually pop it. Whilst you did say yes once he got down on one knee on the balcony of your holiday home for your fourth anniversary together, the events that proceeded after were what truly traumatised the poor ravenette.

Your holiday was spent somewhere in the Caribbean at a beachside residence that locals rented out for tourists. You and Hanta had always been big on travelling, hence your honeymoon location being such an unconventional place. Or as far as you knew, you didn't have an exact number on how many honeymoons were spent in remote mountain ranges surrounded by blustering winds and snow. It was a nice change of pace to the intense heats nearer the Equator.

During that vacation in particular though, that was the year Hanta finally decided to propose. After a long day on the beach, swimming in the ocean and feeling the sand between your toes as evening approached, you watched the sunset on the balcony of the second floor, neighbouring your bedroom. To set the mood the firepit in the centre had been lit, creating a stunning orange glow in Hanta's eyes as he held you close to his chest.

You noticed he was quite fidgety in his seat, wondering what was wrong with your lover as he gripped his knee tight. Like he was uncomfortable or nervous. Like he needed to get something off of his chest. It was only when you pointed out your concern and his odd behaviour that Hanta managed to shift his stance. Moving from his stiff position to wobbling on one knee, then came the heartfelt speech that gave you a sense of where he was going. A subtle reach into his pocket and before you knew it, you were shouting yes into the night sky and your eyes foggy with tears of complete and utter joy.

Hanta placed the ring on your finger, the realisation hitting him at that moment that you and he were engaged. His excitement got the better of him, the male sweeping you in his arms and swinging you around as he babbled sweet nothings into your ear. The speed wavered his balance, his leg knocking into the table holding a bottle of wine he had ordered specifically for the occasion. Much to both of your bad luck, it all collapsed against the firepit and tipped it over - and one can only imagine what happened next. A rather chaotic ruckus erupted between you as Hanta grabbed you by the waist and flung you both out of the building via the balcony to ensure your safety. Then he 'thwipped' straight back up to the fire and frantically searched for the fire extinguisher to put it out, all whilst you sat on the sandy ground outside, frozen to how drastically the mood had changed.

Luckily the fire didn't spread too far. If not for Hanta's efficiency in dealing with it upfront, it could have spread to the bedroom and the rest of the house. It did not, however, the most damage being the balcony sofas that were scorched no thanks to their wooden frame and white cushioning.

Despite having just been engaged, there wasn't much you and Hanta could do to celebrate. So the night ended with you and he falling to slumber in the early hours of the morning, too exhausted after dealing with the owners' wrath after the slight mishap of nearly setting their building ablaze.

"At least you didn't burn the entire house down," You tried after a few seconds of quiet, earning a scoff on Hanta's part as he ran a hand through his hair.

"It felt like it when I called the owner's to tell them what happened," Hanta answered, softly frowning at the shrieking yells he heard during that call ringing their way through his mind again. Long after he'd shut them out based on the humiliation of being on the receiving end. You giggled, recalling how you were able to hear them despite the phone not being on speaker.

"I'm surprised they let us stay for the rest of the week,"

"That's because I paid the money for the damage caused within six hours of them demanding it," Hanta reminded you, dragging his hands down his face as he groaned out. Probably expelling his inner cringe at his foolishness that night. "Times like that make me relieved I'm a top ten pro, helps out with emergencies a great fucking deal,"

"Are you sure that didn't play any part in their generosity? That you're a top ten pro?"

"No way," He said and sat up to meet your height, hands looping to cradle the small of your back. He held back continuing to briefly peck you on the lips. "The bill they gave me was the complete opposite of generous,"

"How much was it again?" You asked, memory not serving you the answer. The ebony-haired male leaned forwards to kiss you again before he moved his lips up to your ear. His voice became a whisper, telling the sum in Yen which made your eyes widen in astonishment.

"Wow," Was your instinctive reply, Hanta scoffing a laugh in agreement based on your tone of surprise. It was there he nuzzled into your neck, inhaling through his nose to catch a whiff of your scent. The aroma acting as a sedative to wipe the memory from his mind permanently. All he wished to remember of that night was the way your face lit up as he asked you to take his hand in marriage. How your tears formed and how your lips uttered the words he had oh, so desperately wanted to hear after months and months of worry of being rejected.

And look at you both now; husband and wife and on your honeymoon. Holding each other as close as close can be with no doubt or hesitancy in your minds at all. Why he had worried so much was something he would never be able to figure out. As looking back, all of it felt like the easiest thing he had ever had to do.

Due to that, Hanta smiled into your neck. The change could have been missed, but you were far too attentive to not notice. The feeling of his cheeks shaping his smile made you smile as well, your arms wrapping around Hanta's neck in a desperate need to pull him closer. Your fingers ghosted the back of his neck, tickling the hairs that attached with care like no other. You rested your chin on his head, eyes closed gently in comfort. In response, Hanta hummed lowly, hands starting to rub up and down your back like he was giving you a massage.

Silence passed, the two of you simply enjoying the other's company and the intimate moment you had welded together. The proximity created a warmth that could fight any cold, the fireplace behind you both unneeded to fight the swirling snow outside. Your eyes peaked open as the faint crackle of the fire nearby caught your attention. You watched the flames dance for a second or so before you plucked up the confidence to speak.

"Just... let's not set fire to this place. Alright?" You mused, holding your breath as you waited for Hanta's response. Luckily he didn't dismiss it, actually finding the comment quite funny. He voiced a blurt of a laugh, head shaking as much as he could make it whilst it buried into the depths of your neck. Hanta's mouth opened to make his reply, quickly hushing up again to return to the peaceful silence of before, not at all ready to let it go just yet.

"Agreed,"

[annoyingloverbear]

ASANO GAKUSHUU X READER HEADCANNONS

Before you ask......don't ask. Yes I like assassination classroom too.

This is a HC about Y/n and Gakushuu attending the same high school.

Ohh boy do I tell you this boi fell hard for you.

And by 'fell' I mean literally fell.

It was one of those rare occasions his father being the disciplined father he is made Gakushuu walk home from school just because he didn't eat his roasted asparagus in dinner last night.

He didn't really mind tho. His home wasn't that far and he liked to see what's going on in the outside peasant world sometimes.

As he was passing a convenient store, he heard some commotion in the alley behind it.

He ignored it and started to walk his way, but he saw a glimpse of a grey uniform skirt and snapped his head towards you.

He saw you, clad in Kunigioka's grey uniform and surrounded by three tattooed bulk men.

"Come on little girl, just keep us company for some karaoke. You see my friends and I we all are really bad singers and would love some help."______"What makes you think I'm good at singing?"________" Oh I can tell you are naturally good at it little bird! Your angelic voice is like as sweet as honey to my ears."________"Back off."_________"What?"________"I said back off you pathetic excuse of a human being before I break your willy and shove it down your throats."________"YOU STUPID BITCH!!!"

He raised his hand, but before he could even swing you neck sliced him in the throat and kicked him down there. He clutched himself as you once again kicked him in his ribs and hope that the blow was enough to keep him down for a bit. You grabbed your heavy aluminium water bottle (those things hurt guys😭 not that I've been hit by one but I accidentally hit myself. it's a great, heavy yet non-obvious self defense tool so carry one around👍) and swung it towards one of his friends. A sickening clang could be audibly heard as you hit him in the head and Congratulations!! You eliminated one more player.

You turned around and swung it towards yet another person who skillfully twisted and yanked your aluminium bottle away from you. This person was similar to your build and was standing in a defensive position, so you kicked the only thing available to you, his shin.

You were surprised as you heard a rather boyish yelp as your victim fell to the ground and grabbed his aching leg. Only then you realized......

Shit it's the previous headmaster's son.

"Oh no!! I didn't mean to kick you are you okay?"_________"I'm fine thank you."

You moved your hand towards the part of his leg which was sprained and saw that he flinched. Clearly he was in pain and seeing that he took care of one of the guys who was hitting on you felt bad so you took him to your house to treat his injury no matter how much he refused.

That was it. That's how he fell for you.

He expected himself to fall for someone who was at the same level of genius as him, but apparently he was wrong.

Why you ask he fell for you? Because you were the only one who can kick his ass purple and speak sweet words to him at the same time.

Seeing that you were an average student, not too good not too bad, he didn't really have a problem with sharing his feelings for you with someone.

The first one to notice it was not Ren, but Karma. Or you could say that Karma found his theory to be correct as he eavesdropped on Gakushuu telling Ren about how he felt for you.

Ren, knowing his manipulating skills encouraged Gakushuu to manipulate one of the teachers to transfer you from class C to class A.

And so you did.

Gakushuu, Ren along with Karma and you. This was a particularly chaotic classroom.

You weren't really complaining, as your grades got better the day you stepped in the class. But you can't shake the feeling that ten pairs of eyes were watching your every movement.

(And lol that was so true😂)

Gakushuu only respectfully watched you and your subtle movements. The way you'd chew on your pencil or nails when you were stuck, the way your eyes turned big round and innocent every time you didn't understand a concept, the way you'd pick on your peach fuzz on your face when you were anxious. Every single habit, every little thing he loved about you, he would have it memorized. Heck when he was feeling stressed out about his future company finances (yes he's planning big) he would pick on his own peach fuzz and smile like an idiot as his heart relaxes and flutters at the same time.

Ren however, watched for your responses to guys. Every time the handsome professor walked in, (admit it, we all have one at some point in our life😏) you would sit up straight, your spine rid of any slouchiness from studying. The way you would cross your legs so your skirt rides up just a bit, and the way your gaze turned sly and your smirk naughty, yes this boy is serious about helping his best friend. Heck he would even come up to you and talk to you to get some type of reaction towards him, but figures out you didn't really like him (ouch!😢)

But Karma stared. And by stared I literally mean stared. Bore holes in the back of your head by staring at you too much. He didn't understand that a guy as corrupt as Gakushuu would fall for a disheveled angel like you. It's not that you weren't beautiful, but the combination of scary principal's son and a smol fluffy bean didn't seem very safe. At times you would even find Karma behaving as an older brother to you. And you weren't one to complain but rather happy that someone in here truly cares for you than judge you for your grades.

Add 7 other girls who were suspicious of you and that's all the people who keep staring at you during the time you're in class.

Every morning you hand in your homework, it was always Gakushuu. You would hand in your homework, he would scan it once and turn around to check others'.

But you knew better than that.

After school was over, you would make your way to the hallway but a strong grip held you back.

"We need to work on your Social Studies. You suck at it."______"But shuu!!!"_______"No buts. Get in the library and wait for me there."

He would drag you to the library and make you study your worst subject (which isn't fun at all🤢) but he would make it a LOT easier for you to understand.

Of course Ren gave him some tips to flirting. Hold her pinky, look in her eyes, compliment her and yada yada yada yada yada......

He did try one of them, but he almost had a heart attack from his heart beating so fast that he decided not to listen to his minio- I mean friend anymore and do it his way.

And honestly he loves his way!!

He loved the cute nicknames you made for him while you whined for him to release you. He loved it the way your face lightens up when he explains there was an easier way to solve an equation.

All the nervousness is his system had vanished.

He also got to the point where when you got an obviously easy question wrong, he would pinch your cheeks while grinning wide.

This made study time a lot easier for you.

You weren't aware that he was like that for and with you only. Only you made him feel that way.

But you found out soon when he got TOO comfortable one day and let it slip out.

"Y/n I think I have a crush on you."

As soon as he said it, blood rushed to your cheeks and drained from his.

Both of you were staring at each other for a hot minute before you broke the silence.

"You're kidding aren't you? I'm not even that smart or that much of a genius in anything. I- but-"

"Y/n I know that. But it's just something about you that I love. I- I can't express in words how much I adore you."

You were starstruck.

Asano Gakushuu. THE Asano Gakushuu likes you!!!!

But you still refused to believe yourself AND his words. Wondering if he was turning into a playboy like Ren.

All you could say was "Then show me."

The library was quiet and you two specifically picked up a spot away from other students, the librarian and surveillance cameras so both of you can goof off. Who knew that this was also the perfect place to kiss?

He gently took your hand as he first stared at your eyes and shifted his gaze to your lips. You acted confident as if you knew how to kiss but god knows you kicked the ass of your first boyfriend before he could even hold your hand.

His gaze stayed on your lips as he licked his and visibly gulped. You wanted to throw a snarky remark but seeing the boy was as edged as a cat you wouldn't dare.

Bringing one of his hands up to your cheek he slightly tilted his head as he came near you before stopping right where your lips weren't touching his but you could feel his minty breath. Obviously waiting for you if you were okay with this, you decided to close that painful space between the two of you.

As soon as your lips touched his, he was in charge. This wasn't a particularly deep or fast kiss. You weren't digging your tongues in each other's mouth but rather just moving your lips to each other, as if giving silent yet intimate messages to each other. His lips slightly glided over yours, and you definitely knew that the way he was kissing you, he was an expert hidden within an amateur. The kiss wasn't heated or passionate in any way, but it was sinfully sweet.

It lasted for about a minute, but felt like an eternity.

Pulling away he stared at you again softly before saying "Thank You" and intertwining your fingers with his.

You were too shocked to react to anything. You were an average student. You got into fights. Your mom always yells at you to behave. Your dad keeps telling you to improve your temper. Why the hell does this boy like you?

He noticed you were staring at him the same way you stared at the blackboard during class when the professor was teaching the quantum theory for the first time.

Now that this boy had finally kissed you, he was bold enough to reach out his thumb and running it over your lower lip before popping it in his mouth.

"Pineapple flavoured lip balm, huh? I thought strawberry was the preferred choice when it came to anything for girls. Including......" his eyes lowered to your legs which felt like they were bare naked in the tiny skirt.

"Shuu!!!! Don't stare at me!!" You shoved him away as he laughed and you covered your face with your sweater paws.

"I'm sorry dear. You are just so adorable I couldn't help myself." He said while stroking your hair.

Little did they know a certain playboy on the other side of the library was paying attention to them the whole time and a redhead was poking his head from above one of the bookshelves.

[ghoulishhusband]

I just realized I can actually talk here. Like this is my account fuck u

Fucking uhhhhhh, hi ig lemme ramble abt my God ocs yea?

Ignore this part if you don't wanna hear (likely) unedited rambles lol it doesn't matter

CW: neglect/abuse, assholery/narcissism, manipulation, tread lightly!

read the under cut owo

Also don't steal my art I'll fucking?? Fight you????

So

I have three main gods that I wanna talk abt especially bc they've been on my mind lately.. Less get it, side notes are in (parentheses) and are bolded cause I have perception issues whoo I don't want it to jumble together is my point lol

First up is my asshole,

Giodine

they/them (preferred)

god/godself (i like pronouns that fit my characters, so I'm giving a bunch away for one night only at--)

ID : Giodine is colored with gold-ish yellow skin and ginger hair. Their eyes are a muted purple and they have tiny eyebrows. Their lips are a muted brown and are full looking, their nose is sharp and points down. They have wings for ears and is wearing a blazer with a long-sleeved, collared shirt underneath it. The background is beige with a yellow square and a dark purple square partially encompassing it. It is signed GH (for ghoulish husband), Spork, 21.

(lemme know if that helps at all! I'm sure I can do better so lemme know!)

If they look weird here it's bc I accidentally made their face too long but believe it or not this is in fact just a doodle Ik I'm so fuckin talented babes.

Anyways, they're basically the first God to ever exist on my version of earth (though even that is fickle rn, world-building is hard unless I hyper-focus on it, and haha Guess What I Haven't Been Thinking About) and they're very egotistical and selfish. As I'll probably yap about later is how they're manipulative as well, especially to another God I'll mention, and very neglectful to the other... other one.

Their partner(professionally), or fiend as they call him, is sam who for the first few eons was, unsurprisingly, absolutely terrible to him. A few tender moments are few and far in between in what could only be described as a completely rancid relationship. I'll describe giodine's side and in sam's lil ramble, I'll describe his :]

I have to explain this because it's a big part of the lore and how they can't work together, even when one of them is very much near The Void (technical death for gods) BUT basically, with Sam, giodine created purgatory. The issue here is that they basically seduced sam into doing it. Well, even if they hadn't, sam was in lesbians(happy pride month lmao) with giodine and would've done it anyway. But the ISSUE is that with the creation of purgatory came complications. See, my gods have to take time to develop into their power, and considering giodine was first and sam was around 666th.. you see the issue. Sam wasn't into his complete power yet and thus lost a giant part of it that went into purg.

See, giodine saw no problem with this (until much later, they do get a VERY SLOW BURN redemption arc cause this ain't even the worst of it), they got what they were aching for out of them and thusly had no need for..sam. They laid him in the spot where she was made (fwi it isn't inherently sexual, it can be, but literally, they just merged together-- taking bits and pieces of each other (which sam did not have enough of) and earth and light yadda, yadda I'll post the story I wrote for that later if I'm up to it) and left him there in the grass.

Again, they saw no problem with that, the deed was done, they didn't care anymore. A common issue in their qualms, sam and Giodine. They did find an issue in Sam finding an issue in the lack of aftercare, which resorted to any message going to or coming from sam going straight to his assistant and going back through them for a couple of thousand years. They found that infuriating-- how could he not face them over something so small! and for years?! it was ridiculous. After forcing a face-to-face meeting, a heated proclaim of hurt from sam, and a bitter agreement to meet up every now and again, they got what they wanted from him. Again. It was a business after all, there was no point in making it harder than it needed to be. 

Giodine doesn't necessarily like boundaries and tends to overstep sam's frequently. They also don't like his reaction to his boundaries being long jumped over, which thusly ends up in disgruntled messages being sent back and forth between them and his assistant for a month or three. It slowly gets through to them, but they tend to say some stupid shit and if they want sam to stay, they have to try and avoid mentioning how "overly sensitive" he is to something that happened eons ago.

(quick mention, there isn't like. time. here. so in all honesty, giodine probably counted earth days instead of Heaven 'days' to get that) Soon into their arrangements to meet, they seem to get on at least tolerable terms, obviously, a few meetings where neither of them feels like going apeshit and taking proper shapeless (or in sams case, he's got a newfound form for ANGER OO just for giodine 🤗) forms isn't going to fix a grudge that has yet to be apologized for by the way. But it's a start to a very long process down the road. Tolerance.

Giodine as an entity is very fickle and rude and demanding. They tend to have a short temper that no one else is allowed to have or comment on-- They were the first therefore they were the most important!

This is very obviously an issue. But it's mostly directed to purgatory. Almost all of their seething rage is pointed towards the poor entity, she's barely been alive yet and they already seem to hate her for things she doesn't know how to do. Honestly, I don't think Purg will ever fully forgive them for the unnecessary abuse of her character, but just as Sam and Giodine get on better terms, they had barely just begun fixing the hole in their relationship. As of now, Sam/Giodine don't have any minor plot points with purgatory other than the major one so I don't have a lot to say about their relationship right now. Maybe one day.

I'd go into details, seriously, but I just wanna ramble about their relationships with each other and their impact on each other's existence. Hope you don't mind a few secrets 😉

But, now, it's time for a new God, one I think most people take a liking to...

Sam (Samuel)

He/him

ID: Sam is surrounded by clouds in the light blue, fading to a darker blue sky and the yellow sun. His horns are a darker beige, which is being highlighted by the sun shining down on him, he also has pointed ears. His skin is red which is very prominent in the sun. His eyes are completely yellow, his hair, beard and mustache are also black. He has an orange scar crawling up to his Adams apple. His wings are a darker grey which is also being highlighted by the sun. His nails are painted black and his hand is holding up the black fabric barely covering his shoulders. Around the painting is a gold and red shaded frame with swirls complimenting each side and a crystal at the bottom of it. It is lightly signed GH, for ghoulish husband.

Sam, Sam, Samuel.

If you don't realize right away, Sam is basically Satan, he's the ruler of hell

Like how giodine was the first to appear on earth, as mentioned before sam was 666th for funnie reasons. Sam was made from bugs, dried blood, and sunlight which sounds pretty gross, but he's far from it. He's a silly, yet neat, guy. He wears Hawaiian shirts and khakis (not around giodine lmao) for cryin' out loud! how bad of a person can he be? Apparently to giodine (for a while obviously) he was the most retched entity to exist. This very much hurt him considering the amount of fake care they showed him before. With a mixture of confusing feelings (which wasn't supposed to be a thing but Univerce went "lmao you'll be fine" and left... short explanation, Univerce is the Universe and is the entity who simply builds these planets and gods that'll appear there and leave them to their own devices, xyr not extremely important in this story. Nor would they care.) and feeling used, he decided that no he wasn't going to take that.

If there is one thing Sam knows how to do is to self preserve himself, even if that means getting passive-aggressive notes sent to him every once in a while. While this period, Sam was surprisingly the least productive (unfortunately giodine knew this and eventually mentioned it in one of their meetings which made him hide away cause like hell giodine was going to be critical of /him/) but he managed. It wasn't terrible, but unfortunately, Sam being able to talk it out with someone who does practically the same work as he does and gets newer, more helpful ideas was better in the long run.

Unsurprisingly, Sam was the first to initiate the healing of his and giodine's relationship but it wasn't reciprocated. Who would've figured, aye? Giodine kept pushing it back onto him and ignoring any progress that could've been made before. Which was frustrating.

The painting above was 'painted' by giodine, which is sorta where their relationship gets somewhat on an understanding of each other. Giodine gets to take a deep long look into who Sam is and tries to express it but it never fit him, it makes them realize that they never really-- truly got to know him. And all it does for Sam is make him even more confused about his place in giodine’s mind. He figured it's another fluke to get him to do something, so he ends up distancing himself when they start actually reciprocating his friendship advancements.

Suddenly, like a flash, Sam was forced to stay with giodine which is where the majority. I'll explain.

Sam...isn't actually the ruler of hell. Anymore, anyways depending on the timeline. His and purgatory's relationship has always been complicated, she always avoided him, and when they talked she always seemed scared of him. So in the end, they've never been close. Distant. Sam always wanted to talk to her, he made her, but if she didn't want to talk to him he wouldn't force it. But imagine his surprise as Purg singlehandedly took over hell in a hazed frenzy.

And not only that, had a personal vendetta against him!

Well, that would be the only explanation to Sam considering how he ended up broken and barely 'alive' at the hands of her. Horns broken and in tatters, pain and almost obliterated it felt like a hate crime. He didn't know what to do when he made it to the office, Purgatory was creating chaos outside his door and barely being able to breathe he felt like it was the end. So he called giodine. 

Purgatory

She/her

ID: Purgatory is surrounded by flowers that are dark grey and white. The light fades down into a dark green. The light shines down on top of her straight, white hair that has yellow flowers tucked into it.  Her skin is a dark brown and has a orange-ish yellow scar on her shoulder trailing up to her neck. Her skin is also highlighted by the sun. In one of her eyes, her sclera is black with an orangey, glowing iris. As for the other eye it it has a white sclera and the same, glowing orange iris. She has wings for ears, one dark grey and one white along with beige horns. She has a white fabric covering her chest. The frame is gold with white accents, but also has vines and moss crawling up the side. 

(may have goofed a bit and forgot to color the sclera of her other eye white but ignore that pls)

Purgatory was made by Sam and Giodine, but to her it felt like a mistake. Why make someone that you’re going to be terrible to, she believed. Giodine seemed to hate her and eventually made her section almost obsolete because she simply wasn’t able to keep up with the backlog that she wasn’t taught to deal with. Not only that, she didn’t have any help with any of it, it was almost like she was expected to just do it on her own. Until Death came along to help, but that’s not what we’re going to be talking about right now. 

And also, Purgatory is Purgatory yadda, yadda, I wont insult your intelligence.

Giodine’s thought process (other than wanting to be Real Close to Sam and once that thought filtered out, promptly ignored it) was that all the extras that don’t fit in either category of their thought of good and evil they’d go to her. (doesn’t matter cause in Sam's system it filters through ‘levels of assholery’ and depending on how bad you are you either just vibe in the upper city under rule of capitalism and possibly many under paying jobs or being actually tortured for his amusement if you’re just evil. Morally grey. Anyway, it could work p well in heaven if giodine wasn’t such a damn stickler.) But in the end, every day, less and less people ended up in purgatory, leaving her with barely any people and more verbal abuse from giodine who ‘HAS to take them or they would be more dead than they already are’. You see the pain she has to go through, right? 

~Idea section, this is probably not canon anyways so dont take it serious~ 

My thought is that another oc (BA, you may have heard of him idk) takes over simply because Purg took multiple hims from alternative timelines (which isn’t allowed but what’re they gonna do, undead a dead clown? multiple times from multiple timelines???)) because she adored him and they figured ‘well we gotta redo purgatory may as well do it like this’ and make him a demi-dead-god. i think thats a cool idea right? anyhoo

~Idea section over uwu~

Purgatory overall is a fairly timid character, she doesn’t like conflict, is easily overwhelmed, and generally keeps to herself. She doesn’t see the point in being in any drama if she’s just going to be yelled at and scolded even if it’s not about her. The only way i could describe her taking over hell is this: 

She was tired. She was angry and after feeling like nothing was in control or in her hands, she snapped. Why doesn’t she get anything or get to be ‘all powerful’ but they do? She knew if she took on Giodine she’d likely get thrown to the void, but sam? He felt fair game. Considering her fear of both of these gods, she planned and got her courage up to take him over. She had considered negotiations but in the end, she ended up going into a haze and ruining everything in sight. She was more powerful than she thought and once she started, she didn't stop until Death restrained her and Sam was already in pieces at God’s doorstep. 

The aftermath was fuzzy for her and for everyone really. Godine was planning a take back hell while actually worrying for sam, sam was planning for a retirement, and she was being consoled while trying to get in contact with sam to apologize. Giodine wouldn’t dare let her talk to him, until she just showed up in their office. She didn’t have a problem with Sam, honest, she just was going to take shit over, but it got out of control. 

Spoiler, Sam took her apology and they actually became.. somewhat closer after reaching an understanding. 

I wanna say that giodine took them being okay and sam retiring as good as sam did about purg running hell, but they didn’t. Giodine and purgatory actually barely got along in the first place, and only begun ‘working’ on their bitterness toward each other because they both had sam to encourage it. I can’t say for certain if they’ll get better, as theyre both undying and have time, but I’ll just say for now its uncertain. 

Also, Death is Purgatory’s girlfriend after all of that lmao.

And.. yeah, i hope this makes sense and that you like my drawings and ramblings about my lil story in my head, i guess this is my way to develop it without just keeping it to myself cause god forbid i keep things to myself hshsh. If you made it to the end, thank you for taking the time to read and attempting to process everything, and even if you didnt read and just looked to look at my art thank you to!!

I may post some art over on @ghoulishhusbandart cause.. it was my art account before i completely forgot about it but i might reboot it! But if you wan art NEOWWW follow me on insta (ik cringe lmaoo) by the same name as this account @ghoulishhusband​ or just click that insta link! also ignore the fact that giodine is the only one without a portrait, maybe I’ll replace it the next time i draw but im graduating on monday and my dad’s coming TOMORROW?? so i won’t have too much time to do it... but i hope you like my art anyways :]

ok!! ty!! ily!!

[goldenmazzello]

Lay all your love on me | Part 1

(I don't own this gif. Credits to the owner)

Warning: Flashbacks. Language. Mentions of poor mental health, angst.

W/C: 2.8k.

A/N: Hello! This is the first part of Lay all your love on me. You can find the next parts on my pinned masterlist here.

MASTERLIST 

Your last day on set has finally arrived. It's amazing how time flies when you're busy doing things you really love, surrounded by magnificient people. It makes you forget about your every day routine and to have some fun from time to time.

Everybody was getting their make-up done for the last day of filming. As you entered the trailer in order to get yours done, a sweet, delicate voice called you.

"(Y/n)! Are you ready for our last day?" Lucy asked with a bright smile on her face while sitting on her personalized black chair, which had her name written at the back.

You smiled. "To be honest, I'm not doing too well, I'm gonna miss you guys so much." You said with a pouty face. Lucy said she would miss all of you too. 

“Oh, nice baby bump!” 

You furrowed your brows but then you remembered. You were wearing a fake silicone belly, since your character was going to be pregnant in that scene. 

“Yeah, he’s kicking so hard.” You joked. 

You sat on your chair as your assistant helped you put your wig.  You laughed at your reflection in the mirror. "I still can't used to this wig." You found it odd to wear a blonde wig.

“At least they didn’t give you a perm!” Joe appeared holding two cups of coffee on each of his hands. “Here you have, my wonderful wife.” he approached you and gave you one of the cups. You laughed at his comments. 

“Thank you, Mr. Deacon.” You thanked him and left a kiss on his cheek.

Joe bringing you coffee on set every morning became a habit, one you were very delighted with. He was so kind with you that you swore your heart could just melt for every little thing he did for you. 

And while drinking your coffee, you remembered your very first day on set and how you and Joe started talking. 

Filming had already started by your first day on set. Today, you would meet the entire cast of the wonderful movie you were going to take part in. You felt an overwhelming joy for being part of such an incredible project, not only because it was a big step in your career as an actress, but also because you were a Queen fan. And it was your very first time in London.

Your very first scene was Freddie’s birthday party. You greeted all of your new cast mates before paying attention to the director’s indications. 

You sat between two of your cast mates. One of them was wearing a long-haired blonde wig and the other a long-haired brown one with a strange fringe. You were wearing a wig as well. It was a black-haired one with a fringe and low pony tails falling over your shoulders. Your eyes had a beautiful emerald eye-shadow which you weren’t very comfortable with but you didn’t care, you were another person now, it was your job.

As they started filming, you kept a conversation with the actor that played John Deacon’s role, your husband, of who you didn't remember his name. You smile at each other and them you both joined the conversation that the others were having about Freddie’s life as his mom stood up and looked for family pictures.

The director decided to take some breaks in between the scenes. It was a good opportunity to introduce yourself and to make some new friends. 

“Hey, nice to meet you. I’m Ben.” said the blonde one who was next to you and you told him your name. The other actors joined him and all of you started talking. There was something strange in one of them, the one who was next to you and introduced himself as Joe. Why was he talking so weird? 

“Why are you doing a bad American accent?” You asked him laughing. He furrowed his eyebrows and opened his mouth but didn’t say anything, he looked as if he was trying to find the words to say. “B-but, t-that’s my voice.” he said confused. 

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry.” You said and covered your face with your hands. That’s why you don’t have friends, stupid, you said to yourself. 

Your face was burning and you felt absolutely embarrassed. How long have you been on set? Three hours? And you were already causing trouble. 

He laughed. “Nevermind. What an awesome compliment. I mean, I’ve been working on it so hard and you thought that I was actually British but...What’s wrong with my voice? I think it’s a pretty convincing American accent. Anyway, thanks for the compliment.” 

“I’m really really sorry, I don’t know why I said that.” Your face was still red. You wished the Earth would swallow you, you wanted to disappear from his sight. He put his hand on your shoulder.

“Hey, you don’t need to apologize. I really meant what I’ve said, it was a nice compliment, I’m prouder of myself now!” He assured you and gave you an expression that indicated everything was okay and there wasn’t anything bad at what you had said, he wasn’t mad at that. 

You weren’t very convinced but after getting closer to him the following days, you realized that he was telling you the truth and there wasn’t anything you should worry about. After that, you both talked about each other’s lives. You found out he lived in New York, just as you. He was from there but you were from New Jersey. You told him how you ended up moving to New York to study and work on your acting career. Since that day, you both became very good friends. And the same thing happened with Ben, Gwilym, Rami and Lucy, you became close to them because of your new friendship with Joe. 

“Let’s take a picture for Instagram.” Joe suggested. You stood next to him, with your right hand covering half of your mouth showing surprise and Joe put one of his hands on your fake belly and the other did the same as yours. 

Lucy took the photo. 

@Joe_Mazzello: Say hi to the Deacon family! @(y/n)(y/s/n) #BohemianRhapsody #Queen #DeaconFamily 

~

The director was giving the last indications for the scene. We will rock you. You were on a sofa next to Joe, having a conversation as Ben did the same with the actress who played his wife and the one who was Gwilym’s wife sat there looking at him, while he was looking at Rami, completely annoyed. The girls were very good actresses but unfortunately, they weren’t very close to the rest of the cast and won’t be joining the future tour press since they have another projects in the pipeline. 

“You look so funny in that blonde wig.” Joe teased you, knowing that you hated it. 

Actually, Joe wanted to tell you that you looked beautiful, as always, but he wasn't bold enough to do it.

"Shut up or I'll take your wig off." You threatened him, he mocked you and rested his head on your shoulder.

And after that, Gwilym ordered everybody to join him. He came up with the beat of a new song he had been working on. Suddenly, all of you were clapping your hands at the third beat as Rami appeared and apologized for being late. He asked what was going on and Gwilym explained he wanted to give the audience a song they could perform and be part of it and you all began to sing and clap your hands.

"Cut!" The director shouted.

And everything was done. There were no scenes left, nothing else. After that, Rami suggested to go and have coffee. All of you were sat on the floor and drinking your coffee.

"I can't believe it's our last day." You said.

"I still remember the very first time you were on set." Gwilym said. "And the odd American accent." he moved his gaze from you to Joe and laughed.

"Oh no, please, I'm still ashamed of that." You begged him not no bring that back.

Memories from set were mentioned as you took a sip of coffee. You had a big smile on your face as you remembered probably one of the best days of your life and the best memory on set.

"Who's coming over?" You asked Rami, who was taking his crown off and put in on your head, you laughed.

"I don't know, darling. Maybe some fans." He shrugged. He got used to talking like Freddie.

After Freddie's party scene in Garden Lodge, the director suggedted to take a break and said that they had some guests on set that day.

"I thought we were going to film the I want to break free music video now." Gwilym said thoughtful with his hand on his chin.

"Hey mates, look who are here today!" Ben said as he, Joe and Lucy stood next to you, Rami and Gwilym and pointed at the door.

You couldn't believe your eyes when you saw them.

Brian May and Roger Taylor were a few feet away from you. Brian and Roger, from Queen, your favorite band, your idols.

"Hey folks, How are you doing today?" Asked Brian with a charming smile. 

Everybody greeted them but you. You were in shock, your face was as white as a sheet and your jaw was slacked. Lucy seemed to notice you and held your hand. 

Joe put his hand in your back and rubbed it softly. “Let’s go outside and catch some fresh air.” 

“Hey, who’s this pretty lady?” Roger asked. He took off his black glasses. 

“(Y/n) are you okay?” Lucy asked worried and the four men next to you turned to look. 

Oh God, you were absolutely nervous. Never in your craziest dreams you thought about having this opportunity. You knew that Brian and Roger sometimes visited the set but you didn’t think they would do it a day you were there. 

“I-I-I’m (Y/n)...” you extended your shaky hand. “Oh sorry for this, but I’m a big fan of Queen and...Oh God I can’t believe it!” Roger laughed and took your hand and shook it. You thought you were going to faint. You could feel your knees weaken. 

“No! I’m okay” You were shaking.

“Wow, it’s nice to meet you. I’ve seen some pictures of you here on set with these amazing people, you’re doing amazing.” He said and Brian nodded. 

“We’re finally meeting!” Brian said and you smiled with watery eyes. 

Joe wondered what made you deal with so much pain, you'd never said anything about that. He felt his heart broke at the mere thought of you being in pain.

Brian and Roger were absolutely grateful for your words. 

“I feel like I’m dreaming.” You laughed nervously. “You guys don’t have an idea of how much I appreciate you, your music helped me to heal so much pain and I will be forever grateful for that. I wanna show you something.” You said as you uncover your left wrist from your sleeve. You had a beautiful butterfly tattooed and under it, a lyric from one of your favorite songs by Queen, Spread your wings. “I’ve had this for over 12 years now and one of my biggest wishes was to show it to both of you someday and to thank you for everything."

“I’m glad our music help you in any possible way.” Brian said “And your tattoo is amazing. John would be very pleased If he saw it” You smiled. 

“I love it.” Roger said. “Hey Bri, why don’t we take a photo with her for Instagram?” 

“That would be nice.” 

Oh my God. 

"Let me be your photographer." Rami asked Brian for his phone and took some photos of your tattoo and others of you with them. A few minutes after that, your phone buzzed. Queen has tagged you on a post. 

@OfficialQueenMusic: “So glad to meet a fan today that will be part of our upcoming movie. Thank you for sharing your story with us @(y/n)(y/s/n) #BohemianRhapsody” 

That was, by far, the best day of your entire life. 

“Hey, come back to Earth, where are you?” Ben asked moving a hand in your face. You shook your head. 

“I was thinking about the first time I met Brian and Roger.” You blushed and he laughed.

“Oh, the day you almost pass out” Ben joked and you slapped him on his arm. “Hey, Am I telling a lie?” 

“Of course I almost pass out, my eyes were lucky to see Brian and Roger in person.” You and Ben giggled. 

“I’m going to miss you, do you know that?” Ben asked. 

“So do I!” You hugged him. Smiling. "You know I'm going to visit you."

Those weeks on set made you realize how lucky you were to find such incredible people. After years and years of being alone in your misery. After the countless nights you cried yourself to sleep and feeling like a piece of shit for being so alone in this world, everything was making sense now. 

You never told them about what you had been through. Being a teenager wasn’t easy. You wanted people to destroy the concept that your teenage years are supposed to be fun and those are the best years of your life because when you hit your late 20s, responsibilities are hard to manage and everything seems to be falling apart. Why couldn’t you be happy now?

Now, that you were 30, that everything was left behind. You wished you could say that you were a happy teenager and you didn’t have to fake a smile and pretend everything was okay. There were days you barely could get out of your house and see other people, or even worse, some days you couldn’t get out of bed and shower because there wasn’t any motivation at all. And no one understood. No one knew how hard it was being you, having such an stressful life that you worried about every little thing and it seemed you would never be at peace. You never felt safe. How hard it was to interact with others without thinking that they just did it to be nice to you or that they were desperately waiting for you to shut your fucking mouth. Isolation didn’t feel right. Loneliness didn’t feel right. Nothing felt right at all. You couldn’t keep pretending to be happy, you needed a reason to keep holding on, something that made you believe that your life was going to change, you wanted to be back on your feet and to know that all of that pain was gone.

Maybe it wasn’t so hard to be you, and eventually, you would find out where you belonged. You felt it was taking forever and you couldn’t wait for things to get better. You knew that someday things would be better and that your day would come. Sometimes you wished someone would save you, but you knew that you had to save yourself. If only you could find what you've been looking for. "How could this happen to me? "was the only thing that was always on your mind. You were sick of this life, you wanted to scream. You felt out of place, you were sick of feeling so left out.

And at that moment, you knew that your 18-year-old-self would be proud of you. Proud of the woman you had become and that now, all of your worries were left behind. You didn’t have to worry about that again, but it was still hard to open your heart and tell people about it. You weren’t embarrassed, it was part of you, part of your story but you didn’t want people to pity you. 

You didn’t realize you were almost crying until Joe spoke. 

“What’s going on?” He hugged you. Your vision was blurry, it was difficult for you to see clearly. You wiped your tears with your thumb and you chuckled. 

“I’m very emotional today. I’m grateful for everything that this movie brought me, especially the five of you.” 

There was a broad smile on Joe’s face. “Well, I’m glad you say that because you won’t get rid of me so easily, huh?” He joked. Joe always knew how to make you smile. But he was right, you lived like 30 minutes away from him, you would see each other everyday. “I have a list of places we’re visiting after coming back to New York.” 

“That’s why I love you.” You hugged him again. He smiled.

Joe felt something on his chest. He wished that I love you meant something else than being loved as a friend, but at the same time, he didn’t want to feel like this, he didn’t want to be in love again. Since his last girlfriend cheated on him with his friend, he couldn’t feel anything for someone. All of his dates failed and he decided to take some time for himself.

But there was something Joe couldn’t deny, when you were near, everything seemed so easy, he could look into your eyes and forget the world. 

“I love you even more.” 

[wickedbarnes]

Guns and Roses (Pt. 2) | John Wick x Reader

Part 1

SYPNOSIS: After the little visit from the new flower shop downtown, John slowly finds himself on edge and being haunted by a certain innocent girl.

THEME: Non-con. Dubcon. Obsession. Dark!John x Innocent/Naive!Reader. Abduction. Lots of smut. Don't read if any of these make you uncomfortable. 18+ readers ONLY.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Slight mention of violence.

John hadn't find the time to visit her yet. And days passed by, he had grown irritated by the fact without him noticing. He was easily angered but then again, he was like a ticking time bomb ever since his wife died. When Helen Wick was sent six feet underground, she took the man that John once was.

A whole different version of him was left behind. A version of him that shook his enemies to the core. Because if John Wick was already known to be brutal, the man who he is today was worse than that now. And somehow, that alarmed some people.

Some of them believed he was losing a few screws. But they weren't bold enough to be loud about the rumor. They didn't want to take any chances. Last time someone uttered the name of Helen Wick and used it to push John's buttons, they had their head cut off. The slow way. After that, no one was brave enough to do what the last guy did.

And somehow, his pal, Aurelio noticed how John was always so antsy and on edge as if one tap on his shoulder would cause him to have a killing spree.

"John, you need to take it easy." He sighed and poured the man a drink. The assassin grumbled and leaned back on his seat broodingly.

"I am taking it easy." He reasoned out but he knew Aurelio wasn't buying any of that shit.

"I'm not stupid, man. I notice how you seem so... I don't know, seem so... irritated. Like something's been bugging you. Do you wanna tell me about it?"

"There's nothing to tell." By the tone of John's voice, Aurelio raised his arms up in defeat.

"Okay, but you gotta push yourself, man." He sighed and took a sip of his drink, "You can't mope around forever. You need to do something. Go out, find someone new, figure a new hobby. Stop restricting yourself, John."

John gripped the glass tightly as his mood worsened by what Aurelio was saying but a voice inside his head told him that he was just doing what any friend would do during a hard time.

"I'm perfectly fine with how I'm doing. I got a job, I book bind, I keep myself busy. I'm good to go." John answered which made his friend sigh deeply.

"John, you're holding yourself back and it's so evident. Stop doing things that you feel is what you need to do. Do the things that you want to do. I know for a fact that you don't want to go back to being an assassin nor does book binding give you enough benefits now but you're doing them because you feel somehow obligated."

John stayed silent as Aurelio's words began to register inside his head.

"You still have some years left, man. Don't waste it. If you want to socialize, do it. Don't hold yourself back. Jesus, if you want to hook up with thousands of bitches, do it! No one's telling you no."

John took a huge swig of his drink.

"What I'm saying is, I know Helen wouldn't have wanted you to live this way. She would've wanted you to move on."

John sometimes hated how right Aurelio was. He sometimes hated it when he makes a point and that often happens. But his words did got himself thinking.

Would Helen be happy with the man John has turned out?

He already knew the answer to that but John can't bring himself to accept it. Without another word, he got up from his seat and decided to call it a day before he drove back into his empty shell of a home.

It wasn't even dark out yet. But John found himself being utterly exhausted. Maybe it was because of his recent mission the other day. Sighing, he craned his neck a bit and felt the kink that had been bothering him for a few days. The bruises on his body didn't help either. He somehow remembered how Helen would tend to his wounds everytime before he retired. How she'd treat every cut and every bad bruise that was etched on his skin.

But now he needed to make do and do all that himself.

Or maybe someone could still do it for him? Would that girl have the same touch as Helen had or would it be more comforting? Would it be- No. No.

John shook his head and tightened his grip around the steering wheel. This was one of his everyday struggle now. Ever since he visited that damn flower shop, John finds himself thinking about her every now and then. Even when he willed himself not to, that girl was sneaky enough to slip through his mind yet again.

The assassin would sometimes compare her to Helen. There was no doubt she was younger than him and even younger than Helen. If John wasn't mistaken, maybe he was twice her age. And he hates how he likes that fact.

He never found himself being attracted to women who were much younger than him. But after seeing her, John finds himself debating whether he'd make an exception for that.

The daisy he tucked safely in the pocket of his coat was placed neatly and safely on his nightstand. Why? He has no idea. But at the same time, he does. The daisy was as delicate as she was. And John wanted to grasp that sense of delicateness and purity in his hands. He wanted to cherish it somehow. And so, every morning when he wakes up, he'd check to see if the daisy that fell from her hair was still there where he placed it.

He relaxed everytime he sees it.

"Get your shit together." He'd tell himself. But just as he did, he found himself driving by the familiar flower shop. And if John had the chance to kick himself right in the balls for parking on the side of the road, he would've.

He should've walked away. He should've drove back home but his feet had carried him inside the shop where he found himself entering, the bell ringing as he opened the door.

There weren't many customers inside but John had noticed there was quite a change the last time he had been here. There were more chairs and tables and John noticed how there were baked goodies being served to the customers.

His attention was taken when he found her walking out from the back of the room with flour smeared on her cheek. Today, she was wearing a pastel pink, puff-sleeved dress and her hair was let loose, letting it pool down her back in beachy waves. She looked absolutely adorable. Stunning, even.

And John found himself admiring the color pink on her.

"Oh, hey!" The girl greeted her with a bright smile on her face, "Haven't seen you around. Have you been taking good care of your cactus?"

John chuckled and stuffed his hand in the pockets of his jeans as he nodded.

"Yeah, I finally got the hang of it. It's looking pretty healthy, thankfully."

"That's great! If you want more, just tell me and I'll give you a discount." She'd say, whispering the last part to him as if she was afraid someone would hear and be offended that she offered John a discount.

"Oh, I'll keep that in mind for sure."

"So, what can I get you today? Finally managed to turn this into a little café. And thank God I don't have to do it all alone now." John turned his head to see a girl just about her age serving coffee to the couple on the other side of the room.

"This place looks great, really." John complimented her and began to look over at the pastries that were placed on the display counter.

He wasn't a big fan on sweets but John didn't want to be rude and come here just to chat with her although he wouldn't mind that one but. But a voice in his head convinced him to at least buy one of her baked goods and have a taste on something that she made herself.

"I'll just have a blueberry muffin and some coffee to go, sweetheart." John would say after some time, not meaning to call her another pet name. He internally punched himself in the face for that and somehow hoped she didn't catch onto it or at least find it weird.

But he was relieved, a bit ecstatic when he saw how her face blushed slightly to what he just called her. He had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from grinning at the fact that he now knows he somehow has an effect on the girl.

She'd nod her prettt little head and wrote his order quickly on the notepad she had.

"How would you, uhm, like your coffee, sir?" She asked, looking up at him with those adorable fucking doe eyes and John had to clench his fist to stop himself from reaching over and caress her cheek while she looked up at him like this. As if she was ready to submit whatever he wanted her to submit.

"Black. No sugar, no creamer." John answered as the bashful girl in front of him nodded her head obediently and John smiled faintly at how she took in every word he had said.

"This'll be done in a minute or two. Find somewhere you can sit and I'll serve it to you." She smiled and John thanked her for her service and immediately gave her his pay. But as she began to prepare his order, John slipped in a generous amount of cash and put it inside the tip jar that she had before he walked over to a vacant seat near the counter where she worked.

He knew she could've easily just called her name so he could get the order himself since that's how cafés usually work but since she offered to serve his order herself, how could John possibly say no to an offer like that?

It only took a few minutes before she walked over to his table and placed his order down carefully in front of him. John's eyes were focused on her, as if he was taking in every bit of her features inside his mind, as if he was trying to memorize every crevice of her body, every freckle or mark that she had on her skin and by the looks of how her cheeks had blushed yet again, John knew that she knew he had been staring at her.

"Will that be all, sir?" She asked somewhat shyly and John chuckled at her bashfulness. She looked adorable. Too adorable. And not the kind where he wanted to pinch her cheeks. It was the kind where he wanted to push her up against the wall or caress her inner thigh just to see what kind of reaction she would get.

"That'll be all, sweetheart. But I suppose it wouldn't be too much of me if I ask for your name?" He asked politely, not wanting to come off as creepy or too intense. He wouldn't want to risk blowing up his chance in knowing the name of the fairy-like dame such as herself.

"O-Oh, uh..." She bit her lip down nervously before she answered, "Y/N, sir. Y/N Y/LN."

"Y/N." John whispered to himself as if he was testing what her name would sound like rolling off of his tongue, "Nice to meet you, Y/N. I'm John. John Wick."

Y/N smiled faintly at his name and held the circular tray close to her chest.

"It's nice to meet you, John. Hope you enjoy your meal." She'd say and with that, she went back to the counter and began to serve the other customers that came in. Whether they wanted to try out her new pastries and coffee or needed assisting when it came to flowers.

John didn't waste his time nor his money and began to dig into his muffin and surprisingly, he found out how much he liked it. The muffin wasn't too sweet nor was it too bland. It was just right for his taste. He could never finish the muffin that Helen made back then. They always came out too sweet. Sometimes too dry. Even the coffee he ordered managed to taste better than the one he drinks at home.

The assassin seemed pleased that he managed to finish everything he had ordered. Not only that, it gave him more reason to stop by the shop more. Either he wanted to try Y/N's other baked goods or just for her, only he had to know.

Unfortunately, he had to live early. He had a mission to get to tomorrow and he couldn't risk going without getting any proper sleep. So he begrudgingly stood up from his seat and made his way to the door but not before turning back and sending Y/N a smile and a wink.

The tint of pink reappeared on her soft ample cheeks and John chuckled as she bit her lip and looked away, probably too embarrassed to even wave goodbye at him.

But either way, he was satisfied with how his day had ended.

That night, John went into a blissful sleep. He could swear he smelled the strong aroma of black coffee, could see the flowers loitering in a familiar looking shop, could taste the blueberry muffin he ate earlier.

He could also feel the gentle touch of a certain girl that did nothing but just drive him crazy these past few days. He could feel the fabric of a pastel pink dress brushing against his knee and the giggle that belonged to someone that had daisies in her hair.

This was the first time that he had dreamt of someone apart from Helen and her death. This was the first time he felt warmth radiating in his body. It was the first time he had dreamt of her.

And slowly but surely, he could feel Y/N leaning in, her soft cherry glossed lips brushing against the shell of his ear that only caused him to grip on his pillow tightly.

"John. Wake up, John." She'd whisper just as John heard the familiar beeping of his alarm clock. He fluttered his eyes open and immediately turned it off.

It was 5:30 AM. Sighing, he slowly sat up and turned to look at the daisy that sat perfectly on his nightstand.

And maybe, just maybe, in his groggy state, John picked up his wife's bracelet and placed it inside the drawer before closing it, leaving the little daisy and the cactus Y/N had gifted him on his nightstand.

He smiled at the view. It looked refreshing. But somehow, there was a feeling settling in his stomach that stirred the guilt in him a bit.

Because that was also the first time he had put away Helen's bracelet somewhere where he couldn't see.

But soon enough, the guilt died down as quickly as it came.

TAGS: @a-really-bi-girl @fanficsrusz @fairylightsandchai @pinkzsugar @edgiestwinter @paanchu786 @meetmeinthematinee @baphometwolf666 @fortheloveoffanfic @thesadvampire

[gamegrumpiess]

Sleepwalk

I was listening to Sleepwalk by Renee Olstead, and I had this idea.

Grump: Danny (from now on, most will be Danny. Unless you request someone else, which I will be happy to do!)

Btw! I'm this plot, Renee didn't write the lyrics. You did! She isn't even a singer in this universe. Just a heads up.

-

Y/n's POV

I can't sleep tonight. It's been a month since me and Danny broke up, but I can't help but still mourn our relationship. It was mutual, at least that's what he thinks. I would've never called it off. I was so in love with him. I still am. We told the fans, and they were pretty supportive in what we did. A lot of them were really sad, as was I. Danny is a singer just like me. I do silly songs just like him. But he encouraged me to do a cover album or a cover song. I did one album, Cover Me Up was the name. It got a lot of love, which I am very proud of.

I turn on my phone to check the time. 4:23 am. The bold numbers shine at me in front of Danny's face. I couldn't bring it to myself to change my screensaver. It's not like anyone's gonna see. I miss him a lot, every night gets harder than the last. He was my world. I've known him since senior year of high school, he was a huge part of my life. And now... That's no more. He's probably living his best life. Being Danny Sexbang and all. He probably has girls flying at his feet, throwing him their panties and offering 'the night of his life'. I understand I might be over thinking, but I can't help it. He was mine, and now he's out there doing who knows what. I let a few stray tears fall down ontou pillow. It's so lonely here at night now. I love what I do, singing, dancing, having fun. It was just so much more amazing when I had someone to share it with.

I lay my head back a stare at the ceiling. I need to distract myself, so I reach for my headphones and plug them in, looking for my Oldies playlist. I click on it and the song that comes on is Sleepwalk by Santo and Johnny. Listening to the slow beat and light guitar, I cry even more. Just my luck, huh? I can't just lay here, I really should get up and something. Writing usually helps me calm down. That's when I get an idea for a song, it's a bit sad and people will know exactly who its about. But maybe that's what needs to happen. My feelings should be out there. And if something goes wrong, I'll accept the outcomes.

I pull up my pen and notebook and just start writing.

"Sleepwalk, instead of dreamin' I

Sleepwalk.

Cause' I lost you and now, what am I to do?

Can't believe that we're through.

Sleep talk. Cause' I miss you, I sleep talk.

While the memories of you wither like a soul.

Darling I was so low.

The night fills me with blame. I see your face, tears through my brain.

I know I miss you so. I still love you, drives me insane.

Sleepwalk. Every night I just sleepwalk. Please come back, and when you walk inside the door, I will sleepwalk no more."

I immediately went to my computer set up and staring out my own little version of Sleepwalk. More of like a piano and violin cover, rather than guitar and drum. Once I had it to where I wanted the beat and rhythm, I pulled up my microphone and started singing away.

Danny's POV

This morning was the worst. I couldn't sleep at all, I've been up since 3:30 am. I guess I haven't really gotten used to sleeping by myself. Without y/n's body near mine, it's hard to even get tired. I do miss her. A lot actually. I know it was my idea to call off the relationship, but I was scared of what would happen if I didn't have enough time for her. I have game grumps, starbomb, and ninja sex party. She deserves someone who has all the time in the world to give her all the attention she deserves. When we told the fans, I didn't expect them to be so sad. I even lost a handful of fans because of it. She agreed, but I knew her better. She was on the verge of tears when she left. She was trying to be strong so I wouldn't see that side of her, but I know better than that. When she left I broke down. Gripped and clawed at my hair, cried on the edge of the bed, wondering if I had made the right choice. I big-huge part of me was telling myself I didn't.

My phone buzzes, and I see its a text from Arin.

When you get here I need to show you something.

Oh what fresh hell does he have to subject my eyes to. Last time he said that, I had to watch 12 Days Of Elves... Don't ask.

I finally arrived at the Grump Space. I see everyone in their usual area. Ryan and Matt at the computers, Ross and Barry in the kitchen making coffee, and the only other people here this early is Arin and me. Everyone else usually is a little late. "Thank god you're finally here. You haven't felt your phone buzzing?" I give him a confused look. "Other than you texting me, no. You know I have notifications turned off for my social media. What's going on?" He turns on the computer in front of us. "You should hear this before anything. I promise you, it's important." I roll my eyes. "This better not be some stupid shit, Arin!" I say with a light laugh. He shook his head, and I knew from the look in his eyes that this was in fact important.

Once the computer was fully on, he went to YouTube. Looking up y/n's name, I felt my stomach turn. Did she have a new boyfriend? Was she sick? Did she die?! I understand that last one is a bit of a long shot, but I tend to over think a lot.

A video was uploaded at 7:00 am this morning? "' sleepwalk? ' isn't that an old song?" I say confused. But I'm not all that surprised. She always did love the oldies. He nods his head. "She added her own lyrics and tune to it. And I think you should hear it." I nodded and put on some earphones, pushing play on the video. Her voices comes on, and it feels so amazing to hear her voice again. Even if it is just an intro in a YouTube video.

"Hello everyone. I had this idea for a song at like 3 in the morning. I couldn't sleep, so I made this. I hope you like it..."

The video fades to black and then it shows her at her little office space she has in her room. The music starts up, and at this point I notice her eyes. They're a little red and slightly puffy. She did a good job covering it up, but I've known her since senior year. She can't hide that from me.

She sings softly yet with so much passion and emotion. The lyrics sink in, and I know why Arin wanted to hear this. Its about me. I scroll down to look at the description and comments, and they all say things along the lines of 'I fucken sad now.' 'Wow, Danny really did a number on her' 'DANNY YOU NEED TO HEAR THIS SHIT!' 'This makes me so sad because she literally couldn't sleep thinking about him... Danny get your girl back!' 'Damn that made me tear up... '

After the video ended, I look at my phone. Y/n's face still smiles at me from behind the screen. I didn't want to change it, I couldn't do it. I felt several tears hit my leg, I didn't even realize i was crying. "Hey Dan, are you okay?" Arin puts his hand on my shoulder comfortingly. "No... I'm not at all." I open up Twitter and see thousands of notifications to nsp and game grumps. All of which telling me to see what I just saw. I stood up slowly, feeling a little disappointed in myself. How could I let her walk out of my life so easily...?

Y/n's POV

After I posted the video, I decided I should really try to get some sleep. Especially since thousands of people will blow up my phone later on. Once in bed again, I tried to think of all the possibilities and outcomes of this. It could either go really well, or go really horribly bad. I guess we'll just have to see.

I wake up several hours later to my phone ringing. The sky is still a little bright to I assume it's not that late. 'Suzy <3' shines up at me. I smile, me and her always stayed quite close. "Hello?" I try to run the sleep out of my eyes. "Hey, are feeling okay? I heard your song, and I know it's about Dan. How are you, hun?"

It means a lot that she's not just calling about GET HIM BACK! She just wants to know if I'm okay. "Honestly? I feel so empty. Luckily today is just a lazy day so I don't have to adult today. But still.... I feel lost." I hear her sigh, "I know, y/n. It sucks. But you have me! And I'm way better than Danny!" She says jokingly. "Damn right you are! I'll call you a bit later when I'm more awake, okay?" We say our goodbyes and I sit up more in bed. I take a quick look at my notification bar and just as I expected, its blowin up. 'When will I stop being a pussy?' My thoughts we're interrupted by several rings of my doorbell.

Without looking through the peephole I open the door, only to see a certain curly haired man standing on my doorstep. "Danny? What are you doing here?" His eyes are glazed over and puffy as if he had just finished crying. He looked down. "I.... I heard your song. Was it... Was it about me? I'm sorry, I just need to know. I couldn't focus at all today during work. And on my way home, I just couldn't take it anymore. I have to know." My anxiety goes up a long shot. My eyes looking at everyone but him. "Y/n... I need to know." I slowly nod my head, still avoiding his eyes. "May I come in? I think we should talk.." I scoot to the side to let him in. "I'm sorry if I caused a lot of drama. I just thought... It would be better if I just made it into a song rather than.. Just telling you." I confessed. He grabbed my shoulders. "Don't be sorry, y/n. When we broke up, and you left. I broke down. I couldn't handle the fact that I just let you go.. I'm sorry."

"Then why did you do it? Why wait so fucking long to come to my house?! Why hurt me this bad, leaving me all alone when all I wanted was you! I hated knowing that YOU let me just walk out. And you looked like you... Like you didn't even give a shit..." I couldn't help it. I let all my emotions explode on him. "Why do you think I did?! Y/n, you deserve someone who has the time for you, who will give you all the attention in the world. Someone who will GIVE you the world! I want nothing more than to have you back again, but you don't deserve someone like me! I love with all my soul, hell, I'd give up everything for your dumbass! I didn't say anything till now because I thought you'd be mad, and I thought you'd moved on, hated me even!" He was standing pretty close to me by now. "Well no shit I'd be mad! You think I don't deserve you? Bullshit! You've already given me the world and more! Don't think that I don't understand about your job because I do the same fucking thing!!! I know it's hard, but I was willing to work even harder because I love you more than life itself! I deserve you just like you deserve me!" He rolled his eyes. "You're fucking gorgeous! You can have any man you want! What the hell is so special about me?" I got in his face once again, "because you are so much better than any other man I've met! We've known each other for YEARS and you think I'd just give all that up?! What kinda drugs are you on, Dan? Do you think I'm that fucken dumb? I haven't slept in weeks because it feels so horrible not having you next to me. That's some bullshit to say that I can have any man I want. I want YOU, dipshit!" I couldn't help it, I fell to my knees, shaking from trying to hold back tears. How he say that I didn't deserve him? He was my world, he still is my world. Nothing will change that.

He walks to me, and sits on the floor with me. I feel his arms wrap around me, and I lean into his chest. "I'm sorry.. I loved you more than anything. I still do. Can you please give me another chance..? Now, I won't ever think you don't deserve me. I won't think anything like that. You mean the world to me, y/n. Please don't forget that." I look up at him, seeing his eyes filled with new tears. "Well duh, how can i say no to this face?" I grab his cheeks and smush them together and laugh. "I love you too, Danny." He smiled and leaned in and gave me a much needed kiss.

[madcaptales]

Woeful Vanity

I hate weekends, especially the ones I'm forced to spend time in the company of friends I don't care for, friends who don't care for me, but these are friends regardless, compulsive acquaintances. It was raining that Saturday. I walked into the room to the sound of orchestrated cheers, had they planned it? I could only speculate. I'm sure they thought: "Here he is, the unsociable devil who reads and writes for fun, let us see what he is made of." Oh, I hated the lot, and scorned their collective pleasure. The preliminary rituals were being followed when I walked in, the music was blaring, the kind of shit music that supposedly elevated the mood; a joint and couple of cigarettes were being passed around; some were immersed in heated arguments, while others were laughing at unfunny jokes; another bunch sat huddled in the corner crushing more weed. Someone walked in with a Bong and beers, the chorus of appreciation was handed out yet again. The bong was set up, and the first person took a toke, madness and anticipation ensued, and to me it seemed like a farce. The doors and windows were closed, within minutes the room was filled with smoke. A room full of intoxicated people, intoxicated not by the substance, not yet, but by the idea of peace and buffoonery the substance promised, by the idea of freedom that it offered, a certain orgasmic pleasure. Then the "fun" started, I prefer to call it drollery. The crowd, drawing courage from their numbers, started voicing out opinions and ideas, everything unoriginal. Most of their ideas were ripped off from improperly researched social media posts, and narratives followed by TRP-loving pricks in the mainstream media. I've been part of such discussions before, and I knew I would be part of it for years to come. The topic of conversation always started with politics, and then moved on to boons of the internet, all of this hypocrisy while we were posting stories on Instagram with catchy hashtags. A few who were bold enough to venture closer to the truth were immediately shut off with snide remarks. And it was amidst these people, in an uncomfortable setting that I learnt the entire truth about my generation, we didn't want the truth. No, that just wouldn't work for us, we only want to scorn at people, and blame everything under the sun. We only want to disprove God, yet we are scared to go deeper, and analyse the possibilities. We only want intellect for the sake of showing off, the true essence of it doesn't matter. We believe ardently in Absurdism because Camus is such an intellectual thinker to throw around during debates, yet when faced with the true absurdity of life, we take to social media to weep about it. We leech on to those opportunities where we can blame the education system because it is a readily available narrative against our incompetencies. We deal with our insecurities by meddling with the innumerable addictions readily available at our disposal. We have lost touch with the meaning of love, it only matters to us as long as we can bloat about it to our acquaintances. We have let our aesthetics in Instagram profiles define our creativity, let our bio's speak for the authenticity of our characters. Social activism has gone online. We hide our faces with interesting Snapchat filters. Journaling is dead, we box memories in story highlights. We don't love poetry anymore, how can we possibly enjoy Neruda with attention spans so erratic? No, we are happy with our Rupi Kaur's and Rahul Kaushik's. Our success is measured by salary figures, careers have become monotonous, soul-killing stuff that doesn't ensure growth, but it certainly ensures decay. We recuperate by partying at weekends, and making fun of sensitive people with no tact, drilling deep into their emotional wounds to leave a permanent mark. Socialising is no more a choice, it is a mandatory prerequisite to fit in. We have replaced intelligence in individualism with stupidity in collectivism.

We have mapped out our lives with the limited freedom allowed in our tight-knit society that seeps with patriarchy, where growth is appreciated until it lies within the boundary of "accepted" liberalism. Now, our mobile phones can speak, think, and suggest how we lead our lives. Capitalism has made it possible to prod and poke a person's thinking to a certain path, it starts right from birth (a baby's soap), and goes on even after death (what kind of coffin is bought for the funeral). Our minds have been infused with distortions, heading no closer to truth than we were a generation ago, we live our lives with a deep sense of satisfaction, derived partly from the fulfillment of our materialistic needs, and also partly from our neighbour's inability to satisfy those same materialistic needs. Any help we offer is in an attempt to satisfy our ego's, and knowingly or unknowingly this is our life. A believer does good deeds in the hope of a good afterlife, a non-believer does it to hide his insecurities and shortcomings behind the goodness of his heart. Anything but the truth. No, we don't want it. Truth is hard, truth takes considerable courage. Truth breeds vulnerability, requires an open heart. Who has time for that? Not us. And who am I to make such vain assumptions? I am a part of this rat race, as much a part of this generation as any condescending fool. I am no better. My very thinking of writing this as I sat there in the company of other people, secretly judging them, and trying to dissect their characters collectively shows that my vanity has got the best of me. But hold on, don't make an assumption now. I know what you're thinking, "At least he's accepting it." No, even accepting it, or pretending to accept my vanity is just a final cry of my ego to gain sympathy. No, trust me when I say this, I'm no better. The point I'm trying to make is, I hate weekends, and the company of people. I prefer spending my time alone, reading a book or writing such useless discourses that benefit no one. But at least I'm being honest about it, doesn't that make me better? See what I mean? I bet you're shaking your head in disbelief, as you should or the entire point of this article has been misinterpreted. I'm no better!

— Sridhar Venkateswaran