#i'm okay i'm fine gwenchana

[agendratum]

11 seconds 😭😭😭😭😭😭

lino youth tokyo 241116 one day i will find you. and i will even download you. when i find you

[coyotefather]

logged a mood so low the tracking app gave me a pop up for the suicide prevention hotline. as a gamer i am always striving towards new achievements

[itstheghostofmypast]

I'm Okay! Gwenchana!

Non-Idol Husband Choi San x (F) Reader

Summary: If there is one thing a good husband knows, it is that intimacy is not bound to the gratification of the physical being, but also the mind and soul.

Genre: Hurt Comfort

Rating: PG- 17

Word Count: 2.1 K

Est. Read Time: 10 min

Warnings: eldest sibling/child trauma (if ykyk)

Networks: @cromernet @k-labels @illusionnet

AN: A bit self-indulgent- a light-hearted (i guess) fic before the first chapter of the Ice on My teeth series <3

He watched you walk into your shared bedroom and fall onto the bed, walking in behind you with a heavy sigh, tugging on his tie to loosen it. Perhaps the family dinner did not go as planned, well, most of it. The evening started off well, as well as it could be, honestly the only time he'd say you were this nervous was when you were around your parents. The jitters he'd see trembling through your frame had him holding himself back from enveloping you in a warm embrace, trying to soothe your nervousness, but the physical touch was one of the things you'd avoid around your family.

Slipping the tie off his neck, he unbuttoned his shirt, eying your sprawled out on the bed through the mirror. It was all fine, the conversation was light-hearted, the bare minimum critical comments were targeted towards you, nothing you couldn't handle- until your sibling had arrived.

With a heavy sigh he turned to face you, only to notice your soft breathing, of course, you had fallen asleep. Removing his shirt he walked over to you, reaching over to gently brush the loose strands of hair on your face, his lips pressed into a thin line as he noticed the pink puffiness around your closed eyes, the memories of you crying your heart out in the car on the way back had his heart clench again.

“Love, wake up,” the soft whisper of your husband stirred you out of your dreamless slumber, slowly you opened your eyes and turned your head to glance up at the man who gave you a soft smile in return. Helping you sit up his nimble fingers began to unbutton your top, slipping it off your shoulders. The chill in the room had goosebumps scatter across your warm skin, pulling you into full consciousness, as you pouted at him, “You want to do it now?” you asked, wondering if you should tell him that you were in no mood for it tonight, not that he’d force you, but you did notice how restless he was during dinner, and in the car on the way back, so perhaps he was expecting something.

“Huh? Oh.” the man chuckled at your silly little antics, “Such a naughty wife I have.” he mumbled, staring up at you as he crouched down between your legs, looking up at you while he slipped off your socks, “I just thought a nice warm bath would help you sleep better.”

“Oh…” your face flushed at the statement, embarrassed at the mistake you had just made, wondering why you even thought of it in the first place. Though you couldn't ponder about it any longer, especially when you were scooped up into his arms, a yelp escaping your lips as you looped your arms around his neck, clinging onto him for warmth, in nothing but your undergarments, “Sannie!”

“Don't worry, I'll be careful!”

His declaration echoed in the washroom as he walked into the shower cabin, gently placing you on the shower bench before ridding himself of his garments and turning to face you with a stupid smug expression, earning an eye roll from you. Once your pesky garments were out of the way he turned the nob to the left, holding onto the shower head to check the warmth.

“I can do this myself you know?”

San ignored your statement, only to turn around and ‘accidentally’ spray your face with the warm water, earning a squeal, “Oh- I'm sorry, must've slipped.” With that he approached you, sitting behind you, holding the shower head closer to your head for it to soak your hair and body while you stared at your hands in your lap.

“I never said you couldn’t.”

It wasn’t as if he had something out of the ordinary, but perhaps the whole dinner had been weighing down on you enough to have you sniffle at the statement and you hoped that for once he wouldn’t react to you crying, instead would let you- and you were glad he did, going about his routine.

San noticed the way your shoulders quivered, his hand giving your shoulder a gentle squeeze before trailing lower as if he were trying to ease the tension in your back muscles, with the help of the warm water that cascaded down your form. Switching off the water he picked up the shampoo bottle he had conveniently placed beside him, flipping open the cap he poured a generous amount of purple liquid into his palm, picking up the rich berry scent, and making a mental note to use this next time too, it smelled better than his mint shampoo.

With gentle hands he began to lather the shampoo in your hair, applying gentle pressure on your scalp, noting how your crying had seized, only to be replaced by your shallow breathing, noticing how you were trying to calm yourself down, your silence bothering him.

“It’s getting colder, no?” he conversed, trying to distract you from all those thoughts, “You should wear more layers from now on, yeah?”

You only nodded in return, closing your eyes when he began to wash off the shampoo, wanting to ask him if you were to return the favor, as your hand blindly reached behind you for the bottle.

“Love?”

“Umm…yes?”

“For someone who said she’s not in the mood, your hand is-”

“oh-Oh, I thought that was the shampoo bottle!” you gasped pulling your hand back- honestly unsure to why you were so embarrassed, you were married to the man.

“No problem at all, sweets,” his tone was oozing with cockiness as he turned off the water once more, this time reaching for the liquid body wash, “I do understand one can confuse the two because of the similarity in sizes.” He laughed at the way you turned to glare at him only to gently turn you back, “Hold still would ya?”

With a huff you turned around facing the tiled wall, watching the condensation, as he began to gently massage your shoulders, lathering up your body with the soap, feeling him get a bit handsy, but nothing too out of control, at this point you knew he was doing it to distract you. You wondered if you hadn’t stepped on his foot under the table tonight, what would he have said? Would he have defended you? Well, indeed he would have, but what would he have said? He was usually very composed, very calm and careful with his words.

Perhaps he would have politely said something to defuse the situation, or perhaps he would have lost his temper- in either situation, one thing was sure, you were glad you signalled him to be quiet. For if there was one thing you knew, it was that at the end of the day, you were taught that the eldest is to be patient, all bearing and understanding, even when the younger one is wrong- and you had been meeting that bar of expectation for all your life, perhaps because that’s how you were trained to be or to be more exact, you just were not a fan of chaos and useless banter. Though a part of you did wish, that either parent would have tried to handle the situation better, rather than dragging you down because of the whole ‘we expected better from you’ and instead understood when you confronted your sibling about the comment,

“Why? Didn’t you say you didn’t want kids?”

The statement had caught you off guard, the whole conversation was pointless anyway, the topic of children was between your husband and you, and why was it weird if you had changed your views from what they were at the age of fifteen. So, like any sane person, you snapped back with, “Why do you think I owe you an explanation?”

Apparently, that was wrong, and had let loose a whirlwind of emotions within you, especially when your parents began to talk about how it is natural to want kids, but as a family, they do have the right to know how your views changed or rather- your sibling, the sibling you were supposed to parent once they were gone. This followed the whole 'how you were supposed to be the bigger person', even when you argued back saying your sibling never needed to bring up such an old conversation in front of your husband, embarrassing you in front of him- of course, you didn’t tell him this? Why would you? Your views had changed and one day you did plan on starting a family with your husband-

“You need to calm down.”

His warm chest pressed against your back, slowly pulling you back into a hug, arms wrapping around you frame as he placed his chin on your shoulder, tilting to place a tender kiss on your cheek, before pressing his wet cheek against yours, “Thanks for stopping me back then, I know my expressions were scary enough, if I had said something else…” his words trailed off as he squeezed you closer, mumbling against your cheek before pulling away, “I don’t think I can choose my words wisely at the sight of my wife in tears.”

With the weight of those words weighing down on you, you found yourself being wrapped in a fluffy towel and walked out of the washroom, being seated on the bed when he had scurried towards the cupboard, pulling out his hoodie and running back with it, “Arms up!” and as if wired to the command you raised your hands giggling when in one quick motion you felt the soft cotton, the familiar scent enveloping you in a warm hug.

“Where are you going?” you asked as you watched him saunter back into the washroom with the towel hanging low on his hips, only for him to swiftly turn around with a serious look in his eyes, “You were right, the mushrooms did do me dirty.”

You took a moment to process what he said before sighing in defeat, shaking your head at the duality of your husband, so serious one moment and completely aloof the next. Nonetheless, one thing was sure, you really depended on him, perhaps he really was the only being keeping you sane. Perhaps tomorrow you’d talk to him about starting a family, and, tomorrow you’d tell him why you didn’t want kids at the age of fifteen- though you may censor the part where you for a very long time thought that like male seahorses, men give birth, and at fifteen when you found out that was not the case, your plans of having eleven children to raise your own football team quickly washed away- yeah, it was best to censor that part, one clown is enough in a relationship, no need to create a circus.

By the time San was done with cleaning and showering he had come out to find you sleeping peacefully, snuggled up on his side, much to his pleasure. Lifting the blankets he slipped into bed, laying on your side of the bed, sighing at the scent of your shampoo wafting off your pillow, he should do this more often. He wanted to know more about the whole secret that was spilt today, you had never mentioned this to him before, in fact, you seemed ever ready to start a family with him, so he wondered if he was in any sense forcing you to do so- for if there was one thing that mattered to him most, it was your happiness, so yes, if you felt just the two of you completed your family he'd be fine with that- perhaps encourage you to get a cat at max.

A part of him wanted to ask you about the expectations your parents had when it came to your role as an older child and their occasional unfair treatment- though he knew you’d brush it off, too scared of rejection to bring it up at the moment, perhaps one day he’d take a stand for you, one that he’d carefully curate, with wise words and logical reasoning- or you’d end up blowing up and handling it yourself before he could, but that was a worry of another day.

Slowly pulling you closer, he held his breath when you changed positions, afraid that he had woken you up, only to sigh in relief when you snored in bliss, only to turn and bury your face in his chest, an arm draping around his waist. A smile stretched across his face, giddy like a teenage boy who had finally confessed to his crush, openly welcoming this intimacy, as he squeezed you against him, tangling his limbs with yours before closing his eyes to waltz with you on the sprung floor of the ballroom in your dreams.

Though when he had almost succumbed to sleep his eyes snapped open, jerking himself awake at the horrid thought he just had, glancing down at you, unsure if he should wake you up, for it was a grave mistake, one that broke the chain of process of showering-

“I forgot to condition her hair.”

Taglist: @edenesth @skteezcursed @mlysalt @the-kpop-simp @spooo00oky @bunnyluvr25

@s-h-y-a @ateezwonderland

[erisnxxi]

distracting myself cause I still don't have his card yet 🥲

(I'm okay... I'm fine...Gwenchana..Teng..Teng...Teng...Teng)

[maibearcore]

Apart from the usual simping from my side, I have to say that particular flashback makes me sad because he was smiling in that moment and then they took away the only few things and ppl he had left 😫 an— nvm actually I'm not going there rn haha 🙂 *smiles in pain*

Nam Goong Min in The Veil ep 1

[galaxydestroyer165]

I'm okay I'm fine Gwenchana😭

[softcarebears]

yea i'm okay i'm fine...gwenchana teng neng neng neng gwenchana haha guys im okay..haha...heehee...haha..

[resi4skz]

CHAPTER 12 (LAST)

Pairing: Christopher Bahng x Aubrey Bahng (OC)

Warnings: smut

This is purely fiction! MDNI

"Ah, Chris, please," I groan, arching my back. The sound of slurping and sucking filled the bedroom as he feasted on my cunt. Ever since I've told him I was pregnant, he was insatiable. This was the third orgasm I was about to have. His fingers pumped in and out as his sucked and licked my clit, the knot in my tummy on the brim of release.

"One more baby," he says, his fingers still moving in and out of me. "Give me one more and I'll give you what you really want."

"Ah, fuck, I'm cumming," I moan. With his fingers, mouth and my hormones, it hit me the hardest as my eyes rolled back and gripped his hair very tight.

The sound of clothes falling to the floor reaches my ear as I come down from my high and I open my eyes to see him hovering over me. "You okay?" He asked softly.

I gave him a lazy smile in return. But that soon turned into a moan as he thrust his hip, the tip of his cock entering easily. "Kiss me."

He looks at me, his eyes filled with lust.

"Please," I pleaded.

I hear him growl as he snaps his hip harder, his cock fully going in and captures my moan with his mouth. He sets a steady pace as I claw at his arms. The sensations of his hands cupping my breasts with the thrusts of hips has me nearing the edge very quickly. "Chris."

"I know, baby," he pants and quickens the pace of his hips. "Fuck, you feel so good."

"I'm close." I cling onto his arms, my nails digging into his flesh.

"God, you're going to look so hot with my kid inside you. You're going to be so damn beautiful, fuck." He rubs the swollen nub and that was all it took for me have the most shattering climax of my life. "Oh, fuck. You're gonna make me cum," he groans as my walls clench around him. "You're going to make come, yeah? Fuck, I'm coming." He follows along, grunting and moaning as he spills his seed inside me.

As we catch our breaths, I wince slighlty when he pulls out. "Gwenchana?" He asks, panting, his face now showing concern.

"Chris, I'm not fragile. I'm not going to break," I replied, chuckling. But when I stand up, everything spins and I stagger back before his arm goes around my waist. "Okay. Maybe I am fragile."

"I told you to be careful."

"But I have to pee," I pout.

He chuckles, making me stand up. "Fine. I'll help you then."

After the bathroom break, we walk back to bed with him still having his arm around me in case I fall. But once I shoved myself between the sheets, I was out like a light. I felt the blanket over me and a kiss on the forehead before I went into dream land about baby clothes in the color of blue.

------------------------------------------------------------

ONE WEEK LATER...

*CHRIS' POV*

"Bro, stop it. You're stressing me out," I said, watching Han fidget with the camera I had given him.

"What do you expect a person to do when you give him something he's never learned?"

I sigh. "All you have to do is press record. It's not rocket science," I say, placing roses on the grass.

"Did you remember to bring the ring?" He asks.

"Did you remember to bring the ring?" I mock him and he throws a rose at my back. I turn around, glaring at him. "Yah!"

"Wae? Wae? Mwo?"

My phone buzzes. I give him a glare before taking my phone out of my pocket. Leanna's message pops up on the screen.

L: nails, makeup and hair down. we're gonna get coffee and head your way

C: okay thanks for updating me

L: btw, she looks super cute in her outfit

I smile at the text, knowing I picked the outfit for her. I can't wait to make her mine.

*AUBREY'S POV*

"Leanna, I wanted something cold," I whine as she hands me the cofee.

"Girl, it's almost winter."

"So?"

"Ugh. You're insufferable when you're pregnant," she says as she rolls her eyes.

"Where are we going, anyway?" I take a sip of the coffe and gag. Who in their right mind drinks such a sweet drink?

"To the park! It's a lovely day out!"

I look at her, walking ahead of me. "You're in a good mood."

"I don't have a reason to not be in one," she replied as she links her arm with mine. "Let's go!"

********************************************************

"Why are you recording?" I ask Leanna, suspiciously, as she has her phone directed at me.

"Why not? It's the perfect moment."

"Perfect moment for what?" I asked as we walk into a secluded part of the garden. "Come on. Where are we going?"

"Why don't you ask him?" She gestures to her right and I raise my eyebrow.

"Okay...." I walk around the trail and stop when I see another trail, this time with roses on the ground. Smiling, I follow it till there are more rose petals and roses on the ground, leading to a heart shaped lights with "Marry Me?" written in the middle. I gasp. Tears threaten to fall but I will myself to not cry.

And then he appears. Wearing a black turtleneck, and a black coat. All black from to toe. My eye caught his hair. It was dyed a pretty orange/copper color that paired perfectly with his outfit. He looked very sexy. He was smiling as he walked towards me till he was an arm's length.

"Hi," he said smiling.

"Hi," I giggle through my tears.

He takes my hands and we walk until we're standing in in the middle of the heart. "You look beautiful, my love."

"Thank you."

He scans me from top to bottom. "Aubrey, you shouldn't be wearing heels."

"What?" I blinked at him.

"Baby, your feet."

"Chris."

"Yeah?"

"You're ruining such a good moment," I sigh.

"Right. Sorry."

He then looks at me, really gazing into my eyes with so much love. "Aubrey."

"Yes?"

Then he bends down on one knee. My heart cannot handle this as I look down at him, tears sliding down my rosy cheeks. "Baby," he begins, taking my hand and gently stroking the back of it with his thumb. "There hasn't been a day that I have never thought of you. You came into my life and filled up the spot in my heart fairly quickly. You are and will always be my precious star. And now that we're adding another star in our lives, I cannot think of a better way to start our lives together."

He then takes out a small blue box and opens it, revealing the prettiest ring ever. It takes my breath away. "Aubrey Williams, the love of my life, will you do the honors of marrying me and making me the happiest man?"

I laugh, nervously as I wipe my cheeks and nose. "Yes. A thousand times yes!" He takes the ring out of the box and places it on my ring finger. I extend my fingers, admiring the ring. "Pretty."

"Like you," he states as he stands up.

Giggling, I throw my arms around his neck and giving him a kiss. "I love you."

"I love you, too." He smiles before leaning down to continue the kiss, sealing our engagement for life.

------------------------------------------------------------

FOUR YEARS LATER....

"Noah! You're going to ruin your clothes like that," I wipe my son's hands. "Maybe it's best you stick with finger painting?" I watch as his brown eyes light up, making me smile. "Alright. Let's get you inside first."

As I walk inside, Noah runs for his room as I make a beeline for the bathroom. Gosh, why does everything have to be difficult today? After washing up, I walk into the kitchen and freeze in my spot when I see Noah with Chris, sitting on the dining table chairs as he tries ro feed our son some fruit.

I smile at the scene in front of me. Who would've thought that I would become a mother? I glance at the frame on the wall. Our wedding picture. I was in a silk white gown while he was in a tux, looking handsome as ever. "Hi, baby," I hear him say as he slides his arms around my waist from behind. "How was your day?"

"Good. How was yours?" I asked as he nuzzled in the crook of my neck.

"Tired," he replies. "I missed you."

I giggle. "I missed you too, Mr. Bahng."

I feel him smile as he rests his chin on my shoulder. "Mrs. Bahng, you smell divine today."

My cheeks heat. How is it that after all these years he still makes my heart skip a beat? His rests on my growing tummy. "She's started to kick." On cue, I feel a kick and hear him gasp.

"Was that her?" His eyes shined, his lips into a wide grin.

"Yes," I giggle.

"Wow."

"Well, atleast we know where her attitude comes from," I joked.

The corner of his lips turn up and I could see the vein on his forehead almost pop. "Mrs. Bahng, are you trying to get punishment? Because you know I will have no problem doing that."

I squeeze my thighs and let out a shaky breath. God dammit. Everytime. It's like this everytime. "No, but you could punish me either way."

He throws his head back, laughing. "What am I going to do with you and your mouth?"

"Well-."

I don't even finish when his lips crashes down on mine. When he pulls back, he gazes into my eyes, his eyes full of love. "Love you."

I smile. "Love you, baby."

"Daddy! Can we get ice cream?" Noah asks from the table he sitting at. Chris chuckles and heads over to him.

I smile again, watching my family. My family. It's such a beautiful word, no?

A/N: its over! *Crying happy tears*

[eightmakesonebraincell]

loren how are yooouuuu??? i hope you’re well heheh :>

i'm okay i'm fine gwenchana gwenchana

haven't been active much cause i'm always tired from work but i'm hoping to drop a teaser next week 👀 it has been a hot minute since i posted anything but i promise i've been writing behind the scenes 👀

[neko-sufis-world]

I'm okay, I'm fine 😂

.......... 😑

-22-years old Boboiboy when he's walking. Then,...

!!! O_O

-22-years old Boboiboy when his pinky toe got hit on the side of table, much entities' concern.

........

-22-years old Boboiboy.

I'm okay, I'm fine! 😁👍

-22-years old Boboiboy to entities as he thumbs up.

Gwenchana! Gwenchana! 😄

-22-years old Boboiboy to entities when he said Korean word twice.

Teng neng neng neng neng~😌🎶

-22-years old Boboiboy when he spinning away from them like a ballerina. Then, spinning way to his room.

Menahan rasa sakit! (Translate: Bear the pain!) ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ

-22-years old Boboiboy to himself as he collapsed on floor, feeling pain in his pinky toe.

[k-ky]

I'm okay I'm fine gwenchana, gwenchana thing ning ning ning ning, kumana handra saki rasa saki onion boo huhuhuhu😭

[luvvampz]

im okay I'm fine gwenchana gwenchana deng neng neng neng

[ieeteno]

First Mission : 777, about denial.

Kata Zaylee : Kalo aku biasanya pasti ngelakuin pendekatan dulu sih ke dia, entah di dm atau tl. Terus aku liat juga nanti feedbacknya gimana dan dia bisa bikin nyaman atau engga, gitu sihh dan yg selebihnya nnti masalah waktu aja. Gitu sih kalo aku kak caranya.

Kata Alde : Kalo cara gue menghindari denial adalah dengan merenung tujuh hari tujuh malam sambil menaiki gunung everest mengembala kambing sebanyak 101 buah kemudian gue sadar semua itu cuma imajinasi karena yang sebenernya gue lakukan biar ga denial adalah dengan terus ngobrol sama dia sampai ke tahap kalo gue ga akan bisa ngelak lagi.

Kata Rana : Kalo aku naksir orang biar sadar dan ga denial, aku introspeksi diri dan ngamatin apa yang aku rasain tiap interaksi/liat dia sampe aku beneran yakin dan sadar, kayak "oh iya aku beneran suka sama dia" gitu.

Kata Adria : Untuk menghindari denial saat mulai menyukai seseorang, langkah pertama adalah jujur pada diri sendiri. Akui perasaan itu tanpa merasa harus memberi label atau tekanan. Pahami bahwa menyukai seseorang adalah hal alami, sebuah pengalaman manusiawi yang indah. Daripada menghindar, aku coba apa yang membuatku merasa seperti itu—apakah kebaikan mereka, caranya membuatku nyaman, atau hal kecil lainnya? Terima perasaan itu sebagai bagian dari diriku, tanpa takut terlihat lemah, karena mengakui perasaan adalah bentuk keberanian terbesar.

Kata Kiara : Kalo aku sih biar gak denial pas naksir seseorang itu pastinya aku bakalan tenangin diri dan kontrol perasaan aku terhadapnya. selain biar aku gak denial, aku juga bisa menahan suatu perasaan biar gak terlalu jatuh terlalu dalam... takutnya aku doang yang jatuh cinta tapi dia cuma sekedar “penasaran”.

Kata Ticey : Emm kalo aku apa ya.. mungkin aku coba tanya mmh pphnya dia suka eskrim matcha ap eggk, kalopun gk suka mh trabas aja lah yang penting ngobrol sama mmh pphnya aj dlu. Baru deh langsung mencintai dya dengan sepenuh raga en jiwaku.. Tapi c kuncinya gk drytext ak udah pokoknya sikattt ★⁠ｏ⁠☆

Kata Malik : Cara agar gua gk denial adalah dengerin lagu jusiluisi tampar sambil nampar-namparin diri sendiri, CANDA. Cara gua biar gk denial pas suka sama orang ya gua mastiin sendiri sih misal kayak kalo dia bales pas bales chat gua slowrep sama fastrep itu reaksi gua sama apa beda kalo sama berarti ya gk ada perasaan tapi kalo beda alias pas fastrep seneng bgt pas slowrep galau gtu ya sudah dipastikan gua naksir brutal dan udah gk bisa denial lagi, anw ini cara gua pribadi ya karna tiap orang pasti punya cara yang beda-beda. oiya satu lagi based on pengalaman gua juga kadang diingetin orang sekitar misal temen/fams gtu.

Kata Tisna : Kalau gue naksir seseorang sih gue harus jujur sama perasaan gue dulu. Gue perlu akui kalau gue suka dia, karena itu wajar. Terus gue bakal pikirin kenapa gue naksir sama dia, biar gue tahu ini karena fakta, bukan cuma penasaran. Gue juga ga mau terlalu banyak mikir kemungkinan buruk, jadi gue akan fokus untuk kenal dia lebih baik secara perlahan. Yang penting, gue harus percaya diri, gue pantas dapat kebahagiaan eakk. Kalau ternyata perasaan gue ga terbalas, yaudah gapapa I'm okay I'm fine gwenchana. Yang penting, gue ga menyangkal apa yang gue rasakan, karena perasaanku valid.

Kata Iris : Kalau menurut pengalaman sih, aku suka pastiin lagi tiap ngobrol sama beliau itu selalu excited atau cuma awal ngobrol aja dan mastiin kalau beliau enggak dry text! #say_no_to_dry_text

Kata Abian : kalau dari aku sendiri sih biar aku tidak denial saat naksir seseorang itu adalah dengan menerima perasaan itu apa adanya, memahami alasan keraguan, dan fokus pada peluang daripada kemungkinan buruk. Tetap jujur pada diri sendiri, percaya diri, dan beri kesempatan pada hubungan untuk berkembang secara alami.

Kata Aditya : Kalo saya gak bakal menapik soal denial ya, biasanya biar lebih yakin saya ajak ybs ngobrol. Ini konteksnya kalo bisa ngobrol ya, kalo gak bisa ya saya cari cara lain.

[selfdefrecation]

27

It's the last day of March, 2024 and I felt like reflecting on my 27th year alive.

I started it off with some bad luck in 2023 by getting my brand new 1 month old S23 phone stolen at the Blackpink concert at Philippine Arena. I was traumatized, grieving, and frustrated. I still had to pay for it for the next 11 months at 4,250/mo. And my dumb impulsive response / solution was to find myself a sugar daddy, thinking they could get me a new phone like- jskdfjwakehf. I never got one, but I did sign up on some apps HAHAHA

My next solution months later was to start a t-shirt printing dropshipping business. I still have it shelved until now. But this was the first sign I felt off about my office "friends" after I asked J to help me with it.

Anyways, I ended up not having any other sources of income other than my salary. But it still got me to go overseas TWICE 6 months apart. The downside is I didn't have any savings for the whole year. Only sinking funds and vibes. My daily dose of copium is telling myself that money comes back but the memories will be forever. Cause, I still can't believe I went to Japan and Singapore. <3

Regarding my friendships, cz and I got closer than ever because of the TSwift Eras Tour planning. We chat and send each other memes everyday. kl and I aren't as frequently chatting anymore cause she got a bf now, but we're still cool and supportive of each other. My blinks are still amicable. i love experiencing girlhood with them. <3<3<3

As for my office friends, I guess it never felt the same after I got back from the blackpink concert. And our office seats had new arrangements and older people were brought up as replacements.

Puttin' someone first only works when you're in their top five. (...)

Familiarity breeds contempt.

- Bejeweled, Taylor Swift

Anyways, I've been kicked out from their top five. It was only exclusive for people who could fit inside a 5-seater car. ksanfvakdjfbak

I ended my 27th year with a full circle moment by getting my brand new Buds2 lost in the van omw home. Taylor Swift and the holy week squeezed my wallet dry with almost nothing left on my ATM. And I wasn't able to celebrate my birthday in the office because I couldn't afford to. But they deserve it cause they didn't even greet me on my birthday, and the last resort pity cake was worse cause they barely gave any effort. It was laughable. And some of the top 5 girlies didn't even greet me in the end.

i'm okay. I'm gwenchana. I'm gonna be fine. I'm doing good. I'm on some new shit. I still have good friends. I will try and push through with my new attempt at getting a second source of income this year so I won't wallow in self pity comparing my income with my older siblings. I will be successful!!!

In conclusion, I'm feeling hopeful for my 28th year.

[dearjournail]

Me, realizing the weekend is already over and have to go back to work and force myself to be a normal sociable human being for the whole week again.

I'm okay, i'm fine. Gwenchana. Gwenchanayo. Teng neng neng neng neng ~

[isla24]

I'm okay, I'm fine, gwenchana