#i'm not the messiah i'm a very sick human

[eimearkuopio]

Once more Catholicism willingly sacrifices my real and finite self to her mania for the sake of their imaginary limited version of the infinite divine.

Me right now.

[zzoupz]

Would John from John Loves You AU be referred to as Johnathan? Like a formal name sounds sick af. Also, since Gary is Astaroth, what would John be? He seems like a Vaperas.

hehe maybe

I'm very attached to the idea that john is in fact just a normal human, who likes to think he is beyond human/some kinda messiah. so inversion of the normal human being thing

[asha-mage]

WoT S2 Premier - The Good, the Interesting, and the Messy

Now that I've had a chance to sleep on it and become half way coherent again, I want to say that I really really liked what their doing so far in season 2. You can see the seems of course, the places where COVID era production and changes had to shift things around, but the show is continuing it's central ethos of adapting the heart of the series and characters, even while having to shift the details to suit their limitations and medium, and that to me is far far more important then one-to-one accurate book scenes.

I don't have anything bad to say about the show, so instead I am going to split up my more general thoughts into three broad categories: The Good (stuff I adored), The Interesting (Things I'm very very curious to see where they are headed), and the Messy (the places where some of their working within limitations has created complex problems for further down the road, or might inform certain things more directly).

The Good

Every actor so far has knocked it out of the fucking park. I have to give special shout outs to Rosamund Pike, Joshua Stradowski, Zoe Robins, Natasha O'Keeffe, and Ceara Coveney for really clearly managing to convey the nuances and complexities of their characters in ways that just blow me away. The show's writing continues to get these characters on a fundamental level and every actor is turning in a performance that conveys their heart so well.

The visual look of the show still rules, but channeling especially has taken a huge step forward in how it's depicted. I didn't mind the way it looked in season 1 the way some did, but I appreciate that they've decided to hew to something closer to what the Darkhorse Comics did, especially as we have so many characters now trying to figure out how to actually channel the One Power.

I also like that we're seeing sharp differences already in the different groups channel, just visually. The Aes Sedai use sweeping graceful gestures, the damne sharp, short gestures, with little wasted energy, all clearly rehearsed as if drilled into the military style.

In other ways the visuals of the show, especially in it's art direction, also rule. The way Cairhien has a mix of Versailles era France and Han Era China in architecture and fashion. The way the Seanchan feel alien, strange, and other, and yet how key parts of their Empire's culture come through even as their conquering and destroying.

The use of the Texan/American accents hits the PERFECT balance I was hoping for to add to that level of strangeness. It's not heavy enough to be a joke, but it's so stark in comparison to everyone crisp vaguely European accents. On that note- the sheer brutality of the village's subjugation, this tiny nowhere village probably somewhere on Almoth Plane, just one ant being smushed by the huge fingers of the Empire. Talk about effective introductions.

The Interesting

I was admittedly a little skeptical of the choice ot have Rand working a asylum but having seen the show I'm glad I reserved judgement because it fits in perfectly with hie Messiah vibe. Here is the savior of the world, and is he staying in palaces and toppling cities? No (well not yet). He's spending his time caring for the sick and the mad, doing menial back breaking work for those society rejects and wants to forget. And of course, it's more complicated then simple altruism: Rand is being driven by his own fear of going mad, his own desire to know what he's facing, and yet that compassion still shines through.

I also really like that, since Rand can't be Lan trained in the show, they decided to do something very Jordan: take a classic trope (cooky wise old master) give it a shine of realism (he's got dementia and PTSD from being a vetran soldier) and dig at the humanity underneath (Rand is letting the old man train him as much to help the man as to learn the sword).

Liandrin is a character I'm shocked by how much I am enjoying her in the show. The decision to explore her depths more, to dig into her anger, her arrogance, her desire for control and power, is fascinating, and her relationship with Nynaeve and Egwene even more so. Her scene with Nynaeve where she gets Nynaeve to channel (an adaption of Siuan scene from the books) especially kicks ass. It's got the same fundamental point as the book: Nynaeve is limiting herself, holding herself back, but the show lets it be starker, crueler, because it IS Laindrin, not Siuan.

The choice to have Perrin be solo with the Shienarans, even if was basically forced on the writers by Barney Harris's departure. They don't waste any of that time, using it to explore Perrin's growing sense of isolation, his grief at Lalia, his relationship to Loial, and his growing fear of the wolves. I've always felt that Perrin, who is very introspective and quite, was the hardest of the main heroes to adapt, and the ways their bringing his conflict out and literalsing continue to be very smart.

The Messy

Some of the merges have caught me off guard, even though I knew they where coming. Elays and Hurin makes a great deal of sense. I have a strong fondness for Hurin, but I can admit he's an easy cut. It does raise the question though of how they are going to incorporate the element of noblesse oblige, which is an important part of how the series explores it's themes of government, nobility, responsibility, and duty. Of course, even if they had kept Hurin the party splitting means he'd probably be no where near Rand right now, so this was almost certainly the right choice.

Nynaeve's Acceptatron Test. Having sat with it, I still like it a lot, and I understand the choices they've made. I wish it had been a little bit more clear that her decision to go back in the final arch was her decision, having a scene of her forcing the arch to appear with the Power, but overall I think they had a good job otherwise. The first test was always going to have to be different since they've cut Aginor and Balthamel from the show, and the important part was Nynaeve choosing to go back over her own anger and desire for revenge, which they kept. The second arch probably would have required half the run time of the episode if they wanted to do it in full, so I don't mind them condensing it down, and again the important thing is that Nynaeve choose to leave the role of Wisdom behind for good, to seek the power to truly make a difference in the lives of those she cares about. The third arch is the big one, and the point of that sequence was always Nynaeve rejecting paradise in order to go back and protect those she loves. She is offered everything she could possibly want, but it isn't enough because her friends, those in her charge, are still at risk, and nothing has changed. She has to go back to save them, because that is the essence of who she is. The show takes the plank of showing that paradise would be hollow anyways, doomed to fall apart because the world needs Nynaeve, she is called to duty, and she can not reject it. It's....actually moment very reminiscent of Rand's Portal Stone journey/his arc in TGH which makes sense since they've always been parallel characters, and the closest thing to a male and female lead the series has.

Verin being merged with Vandene. This is one that it will take far more for me to decide on. On a very practical level it makes a lot of sense, but it has long term implications for Verin's arc in the series that wont be apparent for a very very long time. How will Adeleas factor into Verin's scheme? Does she know? Is she in on the plan to bring down the Black Ajah? Is she ignorant and Verin has been carrying this off in secret while her own sister had no idea? A lot of how this merger goes hinges on how those questions swing. Also, there is Adeleas's murder to consider. It's likely to be kept, but the circumstances being different, and Verin being Verin, the vengeance she seeks will likely be a great deal more dramatic and direct then what Vandene could do.

Past that though I mostly just have gushing and nitpicks, and far more gushing then nitpicking all things considered. Overall....another banger start. I probably liked the opening to season 1 a little bit better, but I suspect season 2 is going to go to some Interesting Places that I am Ready For.

[mmmn-thirsty-for-vinegar]

-Rant about my headcannons(?) about Personas-

Humanizing Personas is one of my most favorite things to do. Personas being their own person with emotions, a voice and their own thoughts- an individual instead of a puppet. It makes me happy TvT

Personas are creatures born to protect or destroy. Loyal to their users and would go as far to kill anything (including humans) that threatens their user's well-being. If they are determined enough to protect their user they would even force themselves into reality. Although they have a hard time maintaining their form in reality.

Another headcannon that I absolutely adore is Persona's abilities bleeding into their users. Like this vv

Personas have a bit of a hierarchy going on. 3rd Tier Personas (like Messiah and Sataneal) are definitely on the top of that hierarchy, personal Personas tier 1 (Hermes, Izanagi, Io, etc) come in 3rd, tier 2 (Isis, Ceasar, Hecate, etc) is 2nd

The bottom of the hierarchy are personas like Pixie, Bicorn, PyroJack and so on. The higher the persona is on the hierarchy the more influence they have over other personas and are even able to deter the lower personas from picking a fight with them.

---

I think that's all I have right now

I'm sorry if some of these don't make sense, I'm very sick rn and have a hard time forming thoughts

[ebbpettier]

i've never been tagged in one of these before this is VERY exciting

(tagged by @shrekgogurt)

caught this and threw it together REAL fast, it almost wasn't wednesday anymore by the time i realized i had notifications

i have a nasty little habit of outlining fics really ambitiously, writing a few thousand words, and then immediately psyching myself out about both the structure and quality, so i'm trying REALLY hard not to do that this time. frailty they name is accountability.

SPECIAL SHOUTOUT THOUGH: as of right now, @catofulthar000 is the sole progenitor of my motivation to write and i owe them for hyping up my drafts and regularly whacking the top of my hyperfixation like they're trying to restart an old radio

so, here's a little bit of everything!

the first is a snippet from a really long, very unstructured beast of a story wherein Simon Gets His Magic Back, But WrongTM. by volume, it's 70% whump, 20% recoveryfic, and 10% xenobiology stuff that probably qualifies as body horror if you look at it from far enough away

Here There Be Dragons

So I tell him, “We won’t then.”

I watched him cut off pieces of his childhood and feed them to a magickal trolley-problem. I’m not sure anyone ever even told him that there was a lever to switch the tracks; they just let him lay down on the rail and kissed his shoes, and thanked him for his sacrifice.

It's hard not to feel sick remembering the robotic way he used to lift his sword when he was exhausted but had to keep fighting. The switch, flipping between Simon and Chosen One whenever the air started to prickle.

I could pinpoint the exact moment, every time. He couldn’t be a person and a Messiah in the same breath. They wouldn't both fit in his body at once.

It’s a good thing none of that was ever my decision, or I would’ve just pulled the lever and let the world burn.

the second is one that i've been working on for longer, and i outlined the whole thing chapter by chapter for once. it actually started out as baz/reader/simon, but i gave up that ghost fast and just made the dude an original character at the behest of a friend.

the romance is much less overt, the lore is heavier, they never think to come in pairs, etc.

(at this point it's mostly just "MAN WE KNOW ALMOST NOTHING ABOUT GOBLINS HUH" and me bribing myself not to re-download grindr with labyrinth references and cool knives)

which is not to say that i won't be writing snowbazreader any time soon but for now the goblin prince is his own man

Thirteen O' Clock

I think I might have just lost Simon to a wandering pack of drag-mothers. I may never get him back now.

there's a lot of shit like this in the first chapter. ^ this fic legitimately is the most fun i've ever had writing baz dialogue and part of that might just be that he's complaining the entire time

On one hand; there’s something deeply satisfying, knowing that Simon’s head can’t be turned by anything in this room but me, and perhaps the Bombay Mix.  On the other hand; I’ve been mostly wallflowering while a steady stream of partygoers of all stripes do their level best to crawl directly into his trousers. (Thankfully to no avail.)

WHICH IS NOT TO SAY CERTAIN PARTS OF IT ARE NOT UTTERLY MISERABLE

“And that’s … like a care home?” I ask, tipping a little more water onto the rag.

He nods.

“Doesn’t help that everything down here is made of trash. No offense,” Simon quickly adds (even though I wouldn’t be offended), “It’s just familiar. Disposable forks and paper plates everywhere. And if you didn’t have a suitcase, whenever you moved homes they’d just give you one of those five-gallon bin bags to put your things in. Like they were telling you everything you owned was garbage.”

Both of us are silent after that. What is there to say? 

As much as I dislike Simon Snow–and lately, it’s been getting frustratingly hard to keep that up–the image makes my throat tighten. 

I don’t really know what a human child is supposed to look like, because I haven’t seen one up close yet, but I imagine they look like little wilted goblin babies. Brown and beige and small, with soft fingers and blunt teeth. 

I can imagine a small Simon. In my mind I give him downy curls and big eyes, and short scarless arms. I can imagine his chubby little wings--useless and round as a chicken’s--fluttering behind him when he toddles. I envision him dragging a little wooden sword behind him, too. A prince among paupers with paper plates.

i also have a much shorter, MUCH sillier one that's dedicated entirely to catofulthar000 because, lets face it, simon is a bit of an orange boy cat. and i think he should have more excuses to eat off the floor.

Everybody Wants To Be A Cat

Still. This could be my chance, and I’m not wasting it.

I’ve used this spell before. Everyone says songs are unstable, and they’re right, but it’s never given me any trouble; it got me through a cavern full of sleeping aggrobats in first year, and it’s one of the few spells I can usually pull off without anything going too wrong. 

“With catlike tread!”

I feel it catch me like a punch in the stomach and instantly know I’ve made a mistake.

it's been 84 years since i've heard the name crackfic ... and boy am i glad to see her.

I’m starting to get pretty hungry, but I’m not going to eat the dead mouse. Or the cricket. Baz can do as many rat keg-stands as he likes, I’m not desperate enough for vermin just yet. There’s a cereal-bar somewhere in my nightstand, but I don’t think cats can have chocolate. I’m not starved enough to risk potentially poisoning myself over it.

I’ll just have to wait. I can make a break for it and steal something else when he gets back and opens the door. For now, the best I can do is squirrel myself away under the bed with my wand between my teeth.

I don’t deny myself a piss in his posh loafers first, though. When in Rome.

having a little bit of each of them seen by someone other than my discord bubble is a little terrifying, but it's also REALLY motivating and i should post unfinished stuff more often

fuck knows i have a lot of unfinished stuff

i'm brand spanking new at posting my work, i don't really know anybody 'round these parts except in passing, and i am NOT sure what the tagging ettiquette is here, so: if you see this and you want to participate, consider yourself tagged!!

[mmx-code-crimpphire]

Headcanon - My brief interpretation of Omega

Sooooo, I’ve been meaning to talk about Omega being a thing in this AU for quite a while now.

I’ll also make a part 2 to this, but I’ll make it brief so I won’t spoil when he comes in the AU. So hopefully you'll enjoy my interpretation of Omega at least lol

NEW CHAPTER ON AO3

Basically he’s kind of a ruthless son of a bitch. I mean, if we look at Megaman Zero 3, we know he is just by looking at him, and being cocky because he’s “the messiah”.

Well, personality wise, you’ll find out my Omega is definitely like this. But he has way more dimension to his personality than that. Since, iirc in MMZ3, he only appears in that boss battle and we don’t get much background on him other than he was the original Zero, and Zero’s original body before Dr Weil got a hold of him and shit.

Yeah, for my Omega, his origins are different, of course. And he does start manifesting in the AU, but I’ll let you guess where he does and you can go from there until the reveal~.

From here, I will talk about detailed descriptions of violence and certain other sensitive themes that are vaguely mentioned, so if you want to skip some of that, now’s your chance.

Personality wise, he’s not only ruthless, but he’s very vain and a sadistic bastard. In more ways than you’d ever imagine. He has very sick ways of tearing anyone apart. Doesn’t matter if they are machine or human. He’ll kill anyone who’s a target, gets in his way, or just to have amusement.

He has enjoyment in torturing his victims before killing them outright. Either tearing their limbs apart or slicing through the victim’s skin and tearing it from there. Even removing vital organs or hardware parts to make them suffer however long he wants to see them be until he kills them.

He even has a… certain thing he likes doing. I won’t go into detail about that but it’s pretty graphic, gruesome, and sickly twisted like him. It’s a part of his sadistic games. I won’t bluntly say it, but I'll talk about it at some point. Maybe. When I'm brave enough to reveal it at some point. Then it'll probably be an AO3 exclusive, but YEAH.

He does have the idea of wanting to be the messiah, but he just wants to take over the world, something Wily has wanted for the longest time. He won’t take orders from anyone, not even his own creator. Which, we can already figure out lmao. Bass already does that, as well as a few other DWNs and becoming wanderers as a bonus. So, technically, you could say it runs in the family lol.

He also likes to uh- “flirt''. Anyone he finds out who crushes on him in some sort of weird way, he likes to scare the shit out of those people and call them “dollface”. Mainly just to vaguely warn them to run before he wants to make personal fun out of them. Yeeeaaah uh- he be a beasty boy, and DEFINITELY not in a good way lmao.

Anyway, that’s basically it for now. Hopefully I covered it well enough for Omega to be recognized as very dangerous and not to be messed with. So, I hope that covers it for now until he develops in the AU when I progress through the fic~.

[rosalynib]

TW: poetry referencing gore and other depressive topics

Here's some of my poetry. I am very aware of how edgy a lot of it is. It might not be good, but these were wrenched from the depths of my Google Docs tab and my physical diary. I suppose one could say they were "written from the heart". I've a penchant for scribbling poetry into any available crevice when it pleases me.

I'll look back on these one day after I've long forgotten them. When I do, I'm sure there will be ones that I cringe at, and ones that I still think good of.

I hold these dear, regardless of my opinion on the writing itself. Wow, sentimental value is real.

no. 1 // THE HOUSE OF ROT

{I wrote this during some mental episode, it reeks of religious delusions. I'm very glad that I've not roped anyone else into them, and even more pleased that they haven't come about recently. I'm not sure if it's poetry specifically, but it exists, so it goes here. First page of my diary, oddly enough. The prose is extremely rushed, I was probably immediately sick of writing but needed the concept out of my head.}

The House of Rot is a place of deep hedonism and faux luxury. Insect colonies feast and breed as far as the eye can see; they are welcomed. Detachef faces line the halls, or the main hall, other halls having bloodied and rusted weapons lining them.

THE DEVIL REVEALS TO MY EYE

I HAVE INVOKED THE MORNINGSTAR TO DO HIS BIDDING AND ASCEND TO GODHOOD

THE FOUR-FINGWRWD SHIFTING HAND REACHES OUT TO MW

DOWN WITH HAPLESS HUMANITY,

RISE A NEW DAWN

THE MORNINGSTAR GUIDES MY HAND

I AM NYLASOR, THIS WORLD'S DARK MESSIAH

The Morningstar listens but does not guide my shadow, not yet. Shadow drags soul.

A flayed man hung by his own intestines and children and kids eating rotted meat.

no. 2 // Semicolon

{This one is drawn out and I have no explanation for it. Oh, wait, yes I do. I was high, apparently, as the page says.}

The irony of carving a semicolon into your own flesh is that it is a visual representation of a future that, for myself, is inevitable; i've promised myself to stay alive and heal. One of these days, I'll promise that to myself again, the next of my "last" times, I'll carve that oath a little too deep in a little too risky an area.

Then, it'll all be over. Everything ends, but I believe my end is the instantaneous beginning and end of my healing. It's not my way out, but a way forward. True peace exists only amongst the nonexistent, of whom lend it to us to do all the envying and fearing of their total nothingness. Soon, I will be envied and feared. Soon, "I" won't be "me" anymore.

Soon, it'll all be over.

Any day now.

Any day.

no. 3 // Stones and Glass Houses

{I randomly thought of the phrase "girls in glass houses shouldn't throw stones" and spiraled. I was high.}

There was a time in which I longed to be perceived. Oh, to be observed like a rare insect trapped in glass.

I know what it is like to live in one such glass enclosure. However, mine is a labyrinth of sparkling, perfect glass, not a jar or a bottle. I throw stones from deep wirhin my labyrinth; I await the day one of those stones are thrown right back. Will it bounce off, or will it leave an ever-expanding hairline scratch?

Perhaps my labyrinth will shatter upon impact. It does not matter. No matter the stone or the throw or the thickness of the glass, I will one day collapse under the oppressive, crumbling ruins of my crystalline haven. No matter whar I do, I am past the point of no return.

No matter how pitifully I weep, my body will soon be cut to pieces in my most sacred sanctuary. The stones I threw started out as innocent little pebbles. But, at my mature age, I have had a conflicting epiphany; perhaps I should have built a fortress out of stone and not glass... Perhaps I simply shouldn't have been throwing stones to begin with.

no. 4 // To Kill

{I was being a little mentally silly here.}

To kill is to offer assent and rebirth.

To bring new fire is to bring a new burden.

To die is to take on a new face.

To live is to rot.

To grieve is to sustain the burden of memory.

To forget is to steal away the joy of that which is demented.

To be bereaved is to be cast into uncharted waters, to become the cartographer of a new fate.

It is to create a new civilization, a new settlement.

It is to die and to be born again without resurrection, without reincarnation.

It is to sing sad poems from such an intimately familiar place, to writhe and to weep.

no. 5 // Run

Start running,

To the edge of that cliff,

Where no one will stop you from falling,

Where you will land on the bones of the decimated,

Where you will face the sin of creation,

The sin of destruction.

no. 6 // Pitiful Youth

Oh, the youthful need to be loved, used, and abused. Like a budding flower being plucked at the root before it ever has a chance to blossom, wilt, and germinate; never afforded the privilege of filling its surrounding environs with its sweetness; destined to die in a dusty, forgotten vase, a lost symbol of hope, light, and affection.

no. 7 // Brain Glitch Girl

With lips pressed to my ears,

Howling ragged screams,

My mind folds thrice over,

Failing to remember dreams.

'Tis my armor like a ripper to seams,

Sabotaging a library more vast than Alexandria,

An intimately familiar and ever-potent bacteria.

The salts sew and mend the seams,

But when all is said and done,

I've nothing left but daydreams.

no. 8 // Double Fissure, Single Suture

{I'm fairly certain this was to be a song at one point, but I'm too stupid for music programs and I smoke. It is about my delusions that there are multiple people occupying my brain.}

I need to crack open your ribs,

Sew my soul into your skin,

All so you can't part from me again,

We are inseparable, ineffable,

You are inevitable, stay the fuck out of our head,

Whisper-screaming and static-filled screens,

Would it kill you to remember my dreams?

We can't see hope or light,

We can't tell wrong from right,

But we can solve this with a blood sacrifice tonight,

We are inseperable, ineffable,

You are inevitable, why's there duality in my head?

Am I god?

Will I ascend?

Can I cause this secluded world to end?

Am I god?

I am God!

I'll show the burning world what I've wrought,

Is there a use for you?

Or are you just here to confuse?

I can't be fooled by my own psyche,

You can't bring about my expiry,

Stitch the body up,

I'll feel your sweet purity,

And I'll one day drown you in my obscurity.

[veritylane7]

+mydecember+ Twilight ver. 13

( 10:50 PM )   Math-class doodle of Rukura (Raphael), airbrushed. Came out nicely. ^.^       ( 10:07 PM )   John's suggestion for a feel-good song that Mr. Rozario (school principal) should play over the PA system in the morning? Children of the Damned by Iron Maiden.... how I agree! ^____^

We're sick, sick people. Can you tell we're related??

song of the moment: "Genocide" by the Offspring. I really gotta get some of the Offspring cds... I want Smash, Americana, and Conspiracy of One.... *sulks*

( 9:57 PM )   Ribby-chan... s'all being taken care of. Mike and Matt be lookin' after me closely, and if Dan does anything else, he's in for some serious trouble. *heh* Mike or Matt my soulmate? Dooood, Mike's a pal, and Matt's like my older brother (he's actually my most recent ex-boyfriend in a way). Thanks for the concern, tho! And don't worry... I beat Dan up nice. If I have my way, he'll be singing soprano come next week.

*heehee* I think I've FOUND my soulmate, anyhoo. *pointed look at someone who's screen name rhymes with punkin' pie* *heartheart* ^__^

( 9:49 PM )   *runs around screaming fangirlishly* YUMMY! YUMMY! I GOT A CUTE, SCAAAAAAARY DOOD FOR THIS TEST!!!

Ideal anime guy test...

# 1 Zagato from Magic Knight Rayearth # 2 Ashitare from Fushigi Yuugi # 3 Chichiri from Fushigi Yuugi # 4 Hotohori from Fushigi Yuugi # 5 Kiryuu Touga from Shoujo Kakumei Utena # 6 Taikoubou from Senkaiden Houshin Engi # 7 Hayama Akito from Kodomo no Omocha # 8 Kyoichi Saionji from Shoujo Kakumei Utena # 9 Morisato Keichi from Ah! My Goddess # 10 Nakago from Fushigi Yuugi # 11 Ohtori Akio from Shoujo Kakumei Utena # 12 Ryohji Kaji from Neon Genesis Evangelion # 13 Eagle Vision from Magic Knight Rayearth # 14 Gabriev Gourry from The Slayers # 15 Ikari Gendo from Neon Genesis Evangelion # 16 Nagoya Chiaki from Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne # 17 Chiriko from Fushigi Yuugi # 18 Li Shaolan from Cardcaptor Sakura # 19 Tsukishiro Yukito / Yue from Cardcaptor Sakura # 20 Eriol Hiigarizawa / Clow from Cardcaptor Sakura # 21 Ikari Shinji from Neon Genesis Evangelion # 22 Kinomoto Touya from Cardcaptor Sakura # 23 Shiirou Kamui from X (X/1999) # 24 Tamahome from Fushigi Yuugi # 25 Monou Fuuma from X (X/1999)

( 9:46 PM )   Ideal anime girl test... how'd they know that I adore Skuld, Ami-chan, and Misato? o.O

# 1 Skuld (Oh my Goddess) # 2 Amy (Sailormoon) # 3 Misato (Eva) # 4 Belldandy (Oh my Goddess) # 5 Kari (Digimon) # 6 Rei (Eva) # 7 Lita (Sailormoon) # 8 Mina (Sailormoon) # 9 Fuu (MK Rayearth) # 10 Serena (Sailormoon) # 11 Hikaru (MK Rayearth) # 12 Sora (Digimon) # 13 Bulma (Dragon Ball) # 14 Mimi (Digimon) # 15 Misty (Pokemon) # 16 Rei (Sailormoon) # 17 Umi (MK Rayearth) # 18 Videl (Dragon Ball) # 19 Asuka (Eva) # 20 Urd (Oh my Goddess)

( 9:44 PM )   Slayers kyara test... now THESE results are good.

# 1 Gaav the Demon Dragon King # 2 Beastmaster Zelas # 3 Luna Inverse # 4 Valgaav (Vally-girl! ^_^) # 5 Xelloss Metallium # 6 Zelgadiss Greywords # 7 Gourry Gabriev # 8 Lina Inverse # 9 Rezo the Red Priest # 10 Filia Ul Copt # 11 Martina Whatever-Her-Last-Name-Is # 12 Amelia Wil Tesra Seyruun # 13 Naga (Wil Tesra Seyruun? I think so) # 14 Kopii Rezo # 15 Prince Phil

( 9:41 PM )   Sailor Moon test results... scary. O_O

# 1 Nehelenia # 2 Setsuna/Sailor Pluto # 3 Artemis # 4 Galaxia # 5 Haruka/Sailor Uranus # 6 Taiki/Sailor Star Maker # 7 Hotaru/Sailor Saturn # 8 Michiru/Sailor Neptune # 9 Minako/Sailor Venus # 10 Rei/Sailor Mars # 11 Yaten/Sailor Star Healer # 12 Luna # 13 Makoto/Sailor Jupiter # 14 Princess Kakyuu # 15 Ami/Sailor Mercury # 16 Chibiusa/Sailor Chibi Moon # 17 Seiya/Sailor Star Fighter # 18 Mamoru/Tuxedo Kamen # 19 Usagi/Sailor Moon # 20 Chibi-Chibi/Sailor Chibi Chibi Moon

( 9:39 PM )   Pokemon test...

# 1 Satoshi/Ash # 2 Shigeru/Gary # 3 Nyarth/Meowth # 4 Kasumi/Misty # 5 Pikachu # 6 Takeshi/Brock # 7 Kojiro/James # 8 Musashi/Jessie

I'm Ash and Gary... isn't that damn close to weird?

( 9:37 PM )   *laughing again* CHECK IT OUT!!

CCS Kyara test results:

# 1 Kero-chan # 2 Syaoran Li # 3 Touya Kinomoto # 4 Tomoyo Daidouji # 5 Eriol Hiiragizawa # 6 Sakura Kinomoto # 7 Yukito Tsukishiro

I'm Kero-chan!

( 9:35 PM )   EEEEEEH!!! O_O; For the X/1999 test... I'm Satsuki! O_o

# 1 Yatouji Satsuki - dragon of earth # 2 Kuzuki Kakyou - dragon of earth # 3 Sumeragi Subaru - dragon of heaven # 4 Monou Fuuma - dragon of earth # 5 Nataku - dragon of earth # 6 Shirou Kamui - dragon of heaven # 7 Kishuu Arashi - dragon of heaven # 8 Shiyuu Kusanagi - dragon of earth # 9 Kigai Yuuto - dragon of earth # 10 Sakurazuka Seishirou - dragon of earth # 11 Aoki Seiichirou - dragon of heaven # 12 Arisugawa Sorata - dragon of heaven # 13 Kasumi Karen - dragon of heaven # 14 Nekoi Yuzuriha - dragon of heaven

( 9:32 PM )   *laughing like a total idiot* CHECK THIS OUT! HOW FUNNY!!! I find that the results for my taking the Eva kyara personality test are very well done!

# 1 Asuka Langley Sohryu # 2 Gendou Ikari # 3 Ryouji Kaji # 4 Misato Katsuragi # 5 Touji Suzuhara # 6 Kaworu Nagisa # 7 Kouzou Fuyutsuki # 8 Ritsuko Akagi # 9 Aoba Shigeru # 10 Makoto Hyuuga # 11 Shinji Ikari # 12 Maya Ibuki # 13 Hikari Horaki # 14 Rei Ayanami # 15 Pen-Pen

( 5:56 PM )   Speller!!! You owe me Mickey ears, and I want Lance's underwear!! AND FEEL MY WRATH!! *wraths Speller* MWAHAHAHAHA! JOYCE IS DEAD! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!       ( 7:36 AM )   Morning Blog!

Nah-nah-nah! Riot Ink business caaaards! *heehee*

I'm okay, really.

I am headachey!!! As Amy would say... my head is doing the achey brakey dance of PAIN. So, I imagine I will get nothing done in class. Ms. Fotinos is gonna kill me for skipping anyway... *sighs*

Querida! I shall continue my efforts to make dad buckle!!

Meagen-san.... really, I know what you mean. Technically, I can draw, but I kinda lack depth in my art (from what I can see). There are very few pictures that turn out with the emotion or realism I want them to come out with..... and funny enough, that kyara that I tend to make look how I want is good ol' Lucas.

Lucas: What can I say? I'm perfect. *mutters* Yeah, right...

And yes, you're getting fanart. Now if only I can manage to scan it....

Meg's Art Corner! Raphael-chan, or as I refer to him in RPs, Lian's Rukura. This is a fine example of what I draw in math class on scrap paper. And querida? It's not THAT good. ^##^;;;;

That's all from me!

Over an' out!

( 10:48 PM )   Of course my idea is good, querida! I'm so smart after all! *tosses away IQ test scores that say only 142* Lucas with blue hair.... streaked with green!!!!!! Yeeaaah, baby!       ( 3:23 PM )   Warning, incoming rant!

STUPID! GODDAMN FLIPPIN' STUPID!! What a GOOD way to get yourself killed! Doing f*cking drugs! STUPID STUPID!!! Goddamn it! I mean, pot, okay that's bad. Bad and STUPID. But 'shrooms?!! HOT DAMN IS THAT STUPID!! And not only that, getting yourself into a situation where you get thrown out of your mom's house?! F*cking stupid! *fumes*

(note: never mind, needed to vent.... friend issues)

( 2:00 PM )   At home and skipping civics class.... *whistles and rocks back on her heels* 9.9

You know what's scary? It's scary when a dood whom you eat lunch with even jokes about wanting to rape you. That's scary. Even scarier is when he pins you against the wall and you have to fight him off, and when he comes back, your best (guy) friends beat the living sh*t out of him. Not quite sure what to make of this.... big super duper hugs and thank yous to Mike and Matt, my new bodyguards. Dan, touch me again, and they'll kill you for sure. I'll see to it. *sweet smile*

( 7:32 AM )   Morning blog!

Querida: Yep, the Mark plot is similar to our dj idea... except a bit more profound. *heh* And seriously, tho, a good plot would be something to the effect of Mark goes baaaad-niichan and tries to end the world, and you gots to stop him. There's a plot. Hooray for plots! Cam's efforts on trying to get Mark to put some sort of value on his own body should start working someday. I mean, HOW many times has Cam explained it? Not to mention, Mark has a nice idea of how Cam thinks now that he's been inside his mind. Mark-niichan's a slut.... but I love him anyway!

Cam: *pounds the living daylights out of Meg for calling Mark such a thing*

*heeheehee* Animal comparisons! *heehee* I gotta try that! Rukura = gecko Poya = otter Yuken = viper Lucifer = duck Michael = horse Zachariah = pot-bellied pig (personality wise) Gabriel = peacock Kanson = crocodile (someone patch in a call to australia, let's get the Crocodile Hunter in here, please... *crosses fingers*)

Meagen-san: I'm working on a fanart for you of SailorM. I shall prolly CG it tonight or tomorrow, okie?

School blows! I don't wanna go to school! WAH!

over and out.

( 6:35 PM )   For fun, and just to annoy him... Rukura's stats!

Name: Raphael Harrison Nickname: Rukura Age: 17 Date of Birth: February 28th Hair: purple Eyes: green Height: 6'4 Occupation: student Descent: Angel Family: human family includes Jacob [father, deceased] and Mary-Anne [mother, deceased]. Original family includes Kanson [father], Europa [mother, deceased], and Uriel {Yuken} [half-brother] Friends: Lucifer, Pandora {Poya}, Michael, Zachariah Current Residence: Atlanta, Georgia Likes: music, reading, daydreaming, being anti-social Dislikes: homework, unwanted attention, medication, and fighting Skills: singing, getting weirdly good grades Setbacks: has a rather serious heart condition, which despite medication and various attempts, is damn near impossible to treat, suicidal, and generally miserable Notes: reincarnation of the Messiah. Human mother died in childbirth, human father committed suicide a few months later. Is considered a "problem child", as he usually gets into fights at school. Been shifted around to foster homes all his life, never staying in one particular home longer than 1 1/2 years. Most recent foster family died in a car crash, leaving him the only living "relative" to claim his foster father's fortune. Lives alone.

( 6:24 PM )   Chris-kun: Dood, a meant the person playing as being Mark... ^__^;;

Meg-chan's on net restrictions, lalalalala... she's gonna get in trouble if she gets caught on the internet, lalalalala... she's rewriting stats for LotM, lalalalala.... she's TOO attached to Raphael-chan, lalala--

Rukura: *belts Meg in the head* Don't call me that! Meg: It's your legal name, isn't it? I like it better 'an Rukura...

Dan wants me to hit him. In the eeeeeew kinda way. Do I really come across as that much of a dom? @_@

( 7:16 AM )   Morning blog!

This is bound to be a short enrty, as mom is home. Sooo...

I had a really funky dream last night, but I don't remember it. All I remember is waking up a lot, upset, and trying to recall where I was. Bennett was curled up to me most of the night (good spiritie dood ^_^), but I don't think it helped much.... ah, well, it's the thought that counts.

Yesterday, I blew $44 on prismacolor pens. I got the box set of cool greys, plus a replacement 60% warm grey as mine is running out. That's me broke for another month now.

BMB is cuuuuuute today. *giggles* I want my verra' own Mik! I *heartheart* Mik! Rach, you better get me a Mik for my birthday! Or else!

I can't draw worth beans lately. *cries*

to Chris-kun: Thanks for the comment on the layout... and maybe now I'll bug querida to do an AH game (I honestly didn't think about that @_@).

*ponders* Yeah, you could go arouns as Mark in the game, and you could sleep with every second person you run into---

Cam: SHUT UP! *thwacks Meg* Meg: Hey, it's not my fault that your hubby is a total sl--- Cam: *throws a table at Meg* Meg: Itaaaai. X_X

Otaaay, enough out of me. Over and out.

( 11:44 PM )   Hal is GOD... lalalala! Hal is thy holy master!       ( 11:27 PM )   Purple is a nice colour! It's the colour of hentai. ^__^;       ( 12:30 AM )   BEHOLD THE NEW LAYOUT!!!

....very purple, isn't it?

( 3:58 PM )   This close >< to shooting myself...       ( 3:56 PM )   I WILL get this to work.... I swear I will.       ( 3:53 PM )   HTML is annoying. Background image, where are you?       ( 3:50 PM )   Let's hope for the background image now.... *crosses fingers*       ( 3:45 PM )   Playing with the layout...       ( 3:25 PM )   This is the temp layout, as I'm altering this puppy to look how I want it to. New version should be up tonight.       ( 2:43 PM )   Chris-kun: the Boa cd has two names. One is the japanese release, the other is for the international market. It's either called Race of the Thousand Camels or Twilight (like this here blog!). And the Limp Bizkit cd is called Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavoured Water. And Hannibal is a lot different than the Silence of the Lambs, isn't it? I liked it, but I stand by the fact that Jodie Foster made a much better Clarice Starling than Julianne Moore could ever hope to be.

Anyway.

My Bennett still isn't home... Dora, is he still with you? If not, you'd think he'd be home by now... *sighs*

Okay, time for me to book it outta' here for a bit afore dad calls and has a fit 'cause the line is busy.

( 8:05 PM )   Interlude...

Meg: Cain and Yuken! KAWAII!!!! Yuken: *giggles and twitches his neko-mimi, looking all innocent* Rukura: ICK! Who the HELL would touch HIM!? *points at Yuken* Meg: Well, you 'touched' him once... Rukura: NOT BY CHOICE, GODDAMMIT!! .... *sneezes* Yuken: *eyes Rukura venomously* Rukura: I'll be running off to Lian now... *heads for the hills as fast as his (verra' long) legs can carry him*

( 8:00 PM )   Querida, thank goodness it's not bronchitis. That's something I get a LOT, and it's not fun at all. And ten pounds? ALRIGHT! You GO, girlfriend!! *tackleglomps* You'll be okay.... I know so! ^.^

I got the "Play" cd (Moby), which came with the edit of South Side for free. Bonus, baby! ^_____^

( 7:24 AM )   Morning blog!

Well, I feel mighty stupid this morning. Yesterday, I kinda pulled a muscle in my left leg (riiight in my calf), but it stopped hurting. Woke up from a funky dream and got up to find it hurt. Now, being the idiot I am and not usually restricted by physical pain (hey, that's what ended up breaking my ankle), I went for a shower. Feeling headachey and cramped, I worked my way down the stairs, only to pull the same muscle again and fall about halfway down and land on the cat at the bottom. ^___^;;; <---- feels very dumb

*falls over* Meagen-san, you had me scared a minute there! If you had MEANT Mark, I would have had to call in paramedics and stuff to make sure you weren't doped up on anything!!!! @_@

List of kyara and colours this blog is gonna be themed on in order of layout updates: Cam/purple (this weekend, hopefully) Lucas/red (whenever) Mark/blue (whenever) Sybandial/pink (whenever) Jesse/green (whenever)

Each layout will have a background featuring the kyara, too! ^_^

I really need a life. Over and out!

( 9:51 PM )   Song lyrics... one of Cam's most recent themes! "Learn to Fly" by the Foo Fighters

Run and tell all of the angels This could take all night Think I need a devil to help me get things right

Hook me up a new revolution Cuz this one is a lie We sat around laughing And watched the last one die

I'm looking to the sky to save me Looking for a sign of life Looking for something to help me burn out bright I'm looking for a complication Looking cuz I'm tired of lying Make my way back home when I learn to fly

I'm done nursing the patience I can wait one night I'd give it all away if you'd give me one last try We'll live happily ever trapped if you'd just save my life Run and tell the angels that everything's all right

I'm looking to the sky to save me Looking for a sign of life Looking for something to help me burn out bright I'm looking for a complication Looking cuz I'm tired of trying Make my way back home when I learn to fly Make my way back home when I learn to

Fly along with me, I can't quite make it alone Try to make this life my own Fly along with me, I can't quite make it alone Try to make this life my own

I'm looking to the sky to save me Looking for a sign of life Looking for something to help me burn out bright I'm looking for a complication Looking cuz I'm tired of trying Make my way back home when I learn to

Looking to the sky to save me Looking for a sign of life Looking for something to help me burn out bright I'm looking for a complication Looking cuz I'm tired of trying Make my way back home when I learn to fly Make my way back home when I learn to fly Make my way back home when I learn to...

( 7:06 PM )   Tay, I've decided the theme for my next layout... good ol' Bennett and the colour purple. How... fitting. ^__^

Now if only I can get this stupid HTML editor thing to work... *binks it*

( 11:05 AM )   Morning blog (late again)!

WHOO HOO! I GOT INTO THE ADVANCED VISUAL ART STUDIO CLASS!!! BIG HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ON MR. HALL!!!!

Yeaaah, I just went to first period class this morning and got my classes for next year reviewed. Then I came home because the muscles in my abdomen are spasming and it hurts like bugger all.

To all my blogging friends; I'm gonna change the layout of this blog in the next week (I have a LOT of links to add). I'm gonna theme it around an AH kyara, so lemme know who you think would be best, please. Just post your opinion in your blog, as I read most of them daily anyway. ^__^;

( 8:23 PM )   Yeah, I've neglected my duties as a blog-person lately... I have a life, you know. (Hey, the LEAST you can do is smile and nod! T_T)

Not much is happening, really. My civics class keeps getting cancelled, so I think I'll skip it tomorrow and come home early. What else to say...? Ummm, not much.

Song of the moment: "The Kids Aren't Alright" by the Offspring. I'm on a REAL Offspring kick right now... dunno why exactly. Maybe 'cause they just amuse me. ^_^;

Grammy awards. Bleeeek. *makes a face*

Amy, kids who don't like cheese are stupid! HA HA!

( 3:33 PM )   ...afternoon.... blog!

This morning I spent the whole time trying to get my scanner to work, so thus, no morning blog. But I've got some stuff say for a change!

Today, lunch period was spent bothering Dan for the most part. He really ticked me off yesterday, and I'm extracting my revenge. So, I was making him jealous by glomping Matt at every opportunity (Matt doesn't mind too much, and he's nice to hug 'cause he's always warm.... and no, Mike, he's not my boyfriend! JUST A FRIEND!! T_T). It was rather comical. Civics class was cancelled, since Ms. Fotinos was at the Raptor's game with the people who signed up to go... the half of my class that was at school for the last three periods of the day got transferred to a Grade 12 geography class, in which was SO awkward that the teacher took pity on us and sent us all home. Redoing Angel Hunter again. This time, on the right sized paper... I'm sticking with the page layouts, tho, as I think I've got the look I want.

And, for fun! Rukura's theme song lyrics!

Home by Depeche Mode

Here is a song from the wrong side of town Where I'm bound to the ground by the loneliest sound That pounds from within and is pinning me down

Here is a page from the emptiest stage A cage or the heaviest cross ever made A guage of the deadliest trap ever laid

And I thank you for bringing me here For showing me home, for singing these tears Finally I've found that I belong here

The heat and the sickliest sweet smelling sheets That cling to the backs of my knees and my feet I'm drowning in time to a desperate beat

And I thank you for bringing me here For showing me home, for singing these tears Finally I've found that I belong...

Feels like home I should have known From my first breath

God sent the only true friend I call mine Pretend that I'll make amends the next time Befriend the glorious end of the line

And I thank you for bringing me here For showing me home, for singing these tears Finally I've found that I belong here.

( 7:11 AM )   Morning Blog!

This song is tripping me out right now, but goddamn, do I love it! *grooves to "Home" by Depeche Mode* It's a really dramatic song... and it's sooooo making me think of Rukura. >_<;

It's very cold this morning. At least I think so, anyway, so I'm sitting here wearing the couch blanket as a cape. I feel like a doooork.

Meg's Art Corner (Freckle-chan, you copycat! T_T)

A special little picture; Lucas in his newest style of dress. Drool factor, out of 10? 12.

What else to say... ummm... Mom didn't leave me lunch money again. T_T;

Over and out!

( 2:12 PM )   Cam: EVERYONE RUN WHILE YOU CAN!!!! THE END IS NEAR!!!!!

....yep, for the first time in YEARS, I'm the proud owner of twp pairs of blue jeans. I've not worn blue jeans since I was about 5... and these ones fit niiiiice. I have hips and a waist.... @__@

Anyway, mom and I went to Sears and then to Curry's Art Supplies. I got my two pairs of jeans, two men's dress shirts (one white, one black), a new sketchbook, 4 new warm grey prismacolors, and a new 05 pigment pen. I am a happy Meg-chan!

Blue jeans that fit... *in shock*

( 9:09 PM )   I have officially started rewriting the Chronicles of Benjamin Carter! WHIHAI! Here's a bit of what I've written so far.

Frail. Benjamin was frail. He was about 5'4, fifteen years of age, and pale. He was small and slight in build; a boy and not yet a man. Right now, he looked more fragile than he really was... curled up under the blankets of his rather small bed, bruised and crying. It was a familiar scene.

Benjamin wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand in a vain attempt to push the tears away. However, it was pointless since more just spilled down his cheeks as if to spite him and his efforts to stop them. He hated crying. Hated it. But at times like this --- only at times like this--- he couldn't help himself. He was so tired of being forced into the clutches of rich men; predators that liked their pleasure taken out on the young boys who could be bought if the price was right. He was sick of the violation and the abuse. Most of all, he was sick of his father pushing him into it. His own father. He hiccupped in his efforts to restrain his tears.

Benjamin wanted more than anything to run away. Run away to another city, another country, anywhere but where he was. Just out of the clutches of the people who hurt him so much. But he was trapped like the birds his father kept in the iron cages that lined the back yard. He was a prisoner, shackled to the bars of his perpetual cage. Derkshaw would catch him if he ran. Derkshaw always caught him.

"Damn him to hell," Benjamin thought bitterly, though he regretted thinking it for reasons he couldn't quite explain.

There was a tap of boots in the hallway, and Benjamin closed his eyes, breathed deeply, and pretended to be asleep. The heavy, even steps stopped outside his door. The door squeaked as it opened slightly.

Benjamin tried to keep his breathing slow and deep, tried not to flinch. He felt Derkshaw's gaze on him. It burned.

'Go away, papa, go away....'

The door opened a bit more, and the tap of boots carried into the room.

It would be a good half hour before Derkshaw left, the blood on his hands and shirt not his own.

( 2:28 PM )   Man, am I grateful for mom. She just brought me the most wonderful little care packet of a bottle of ibuprofen and a Terry's Dark Chocolate Orange bar. *sniffles happily* Thank you, mommie!

Amy, Amy, Amy.... you have no idea how much stress is gone already. *heavy sigh* I can't thank you enough.

Spellleeeeeeerrrr, next weekend is go for coming over to my house to watch movies! You like freaky movies, I'll make you watch freaky ANIME movies! On the roster so far: Perfect Blue and X. Maybe I'll make a trip to Roger's Video and snag Devil Man or something. But I will get you hooked. I will. Your time will come (*sings* thy will be done!).

*laughing at BMB* Yeah, Mik, you dirty minded cutie! You think those nasty thoughts about Harley! *laughing*

Oiiii, Freckle-chan... you posted a nice list of couples you like. I think for fun, I'll do the same!

Cardcaptor Sakura Touya and Yukito - kawaii! KAWAII!!!! Sakura and Tomoyo - so sue me!

Oh My Goddess! Trobadour and Urd - they were cool! Too bad he's such a dork. Keiichi and Belldandy - well, DUH!

Magic Knight Rayearth Ascot and Umi - I'm a sucker for Ascot. What a little cutie! Clef and Presea - ditto that, 'cause Clef is so cute and so short!

Dragon Half Mink and Lufa - not likely, I know, but still.

Bakuretsu Hunter Tira and Carrot - feh on Chocolate. She's not half as cool as Tira. Marron and Gateau - I don' like Gateau too much, but Marron is so hot. *_*

Ranma 1/2 Ranma and Shampoo - not likely, either, but I think Mousse is too wussy for her. I've always been a Ranma/Shampoo 'shipper.

Shamanic Princess Kagetsu and Tiara - it's a sad relationship... Sarah and Tiara - um, don't ask.

Slayers Lina and Gourry - he's so funny around her... ^__^

Sailor Moon Usagi and anyone but Mamoru! T_T; Chibi Usagi and Pelulu [Perelu, Perele] - *heehee* Cute fae-ish boy with white hair!

Neon Genesis Evangelion Shinji and Asuka - I think she really does like him. She just doesn't know how to show it. Misato and Koji - funny funny! She's a player, tho.

RPing kyara [involving mine] Cam and Mark - for obvious reasons. Rukura, Lian, and Gabby - yes, a yaoi threesome. They're all so cute. Sola [Soren] and Sybandial - so innocent and sweet. ^_^ Jyrian and Quoik - I don't talk about these two much, but their relationship is really cute. Jesse and Rach - how can I not like this? He's cute, she's cute (haha, Rach!) Lucas and Lila - I liked this possibility... too bad she's dead and we won't find out what woulda' happened. Lucas and Carter - this is a slightly more demented relationship. Cadence and Lexiel - a more intellectual relationship... even if Lexiel is kinda big on sex for sick reasons. ^_^; Cadence3 and Cam - I'm a sick, sick girl. Lucifer and Setsuko - if we get Setsuko back, then we can resume this. They're cute too. ^_^

Other Stories Kiih and Ro (from Dora's "Three O'Clock") - I don't really know why... these two just kinda hit it off in my mind. Len and Yuri (see above) - ditto the above again.

Book Series Ron and Hermione - need I explain? Sirius and Remus - again, need I explain? Lestat and Louis (Anne Rice's VC books) - strange but yummy relationship Lestat and David - intellectual and alluring. Marius and Amadeo - Stokholm syndrome. Cal and Meg (A Wrinkle in Time) - KAWAII!

That's that done. ^__^;

( 10:41 PM )   Sap warning ahead!

I have the best best friends in the whole world! My best friends are Speller and Amy!

Speller, who I know I don't mention on here too much (I'm sorry! ;_;), is the smartest person I know. She's also one of the most talented writers, too. How many people can write a whole novel before/during high school? Aside from Amelia Atwater-Rhodes, not many. And her poetry kicks ass! She has a lot of it published. She can also draw better realistic stuff than I can, which makes me mondo jealous. It's not fair, I tell you! And she must learn to watch out for Hannibal. Beware him. Speller likes pudding. And pears. Damn those pears.

Amy and I have been friends since 7th grade, when she was the "new kid". We actually first met in drama class. She ran over a possum on her way to work. Yeeeah! She, too, is an amazing writer. It's not FAIR! She came runner up in the story writing contest a while back. I was proud. And I SCREEEEEEAMED the loudest when she won the Todd Bayless award. I live to embarrass.... ^_~

I am grateful to have such good friends. I love them. This concludes the sap. ^___^;

( 9:04 PM )   Querida, you're cooler than Simon and Milo! (Personally, Milo's a tad too butch for my liking, but Simon is a cute little brit guy with the sweetest little sentiments!) ....anyway.... yes, you have a neck. I hope. ^_~

And to complete the phrase you know you have problems when...you obsess over a cartoon with no neck, no nose, and huge eyes!

( 7:29 AM )   Morning blog!

I watched Perfect Blue last night. It downright scared me! Seeing Hannibal didn't scare me, seeing the Rage; Carrie 2 didn't scare me.... but Perfect Blue DID. The "real Mima" (the one who's forever in the Cham costume) is SCARY!!! And the Mimaniac is pretty scary too. o_O Iffen you haven't seen this movie, get it. Especially if you like stuff like Neon Genesis Evangelion, X, or Serial Experiments Lain. I warn you, there's nudity, a rape scene, and a lot of gore. This movie freaked me out more than Eva did.

In other news... going to the art store tomorrow!!! And, I'm also skipping 5th period today. Maybe even 3rd, 'cause I'm stuck doing NOTHING all class anyway. -_-;

Hopefully they have the 10x15 paper I want... 'cause, you know, that being the traditional dimensions for comic drawing. Y'all knew that, right? *gives you a loooooook*

And I best be off to get ready... JA!

( 7:02 PM )   Blogger hates me.

OH! OH! EVERYONE GO READ TODAY'S BMB!!! CY AND SKIDS FOREVERRRRR!!!!

I'm having a hell of a lucky streak this week. Today, in the mail, I got an AUTOGRAPHED Simon and Milo picture, FRAMED!!! *swoons*

And I got Perfect Blue!!!!

( 5:14 PM )   Gonna go see Hannibal with Mike and Chris in about half an hour! ^__^       ( 7:21 AM )   Morning Blog!

Last night, began a really angsty RP with Cam and Mark (well, it was angsty on Cam's end). Now, I only just realized that I think up really weird stuff that follow pretty much all the major time/space/reality laws. And all on a whim and at random. It's strange. You know you study this stuff too much when.... Yep, it's not every day when I come up with plots like that puppy. Using the imprints left in the reality weave to reconstruct a Mark.... that's some strange stuff (but it actually makes sense, which is what throws me). Huh.

I feel guilty... I got mad at Amy last night. She was being a little more depressing than usual, and I just couldn't stand it. I'm sick and stressed and I don't need to boost her ego all the time.

I've had this urge for the past couple of days to draw Cam shaking Lucas by the shoulders and looking very upset while Lucas looks blank. I don't really know why.... the caption for it has been running through my head, as it is this: "What am I to you?!" Trippiness.

Well, being the idiot I am, I didn't do my civics homework. My group is gonna love me for that.... then again, they're sticking me with the job of reading the presentation on Spain because I'm the only one that knows how to speak some Spanish. *sweatdrops*

I'm having urges to draw the weirdest things.... I hate it when Cam angsts at me from his little spot in my mind.

Meg's Art Corner A really weird little picture of c3 and a Chibi Cam. C3 is drawn more in my gothic anime style than my normal one. Turned out quite well! ^_^

Over and out!

( 7:16 PM )   Neeee, imouto! If you're not gonna be doing Yunga Neko for a while, you should get a guest artist to do, like, weekly panels just until you can work on it again. *volunteers*       ( 7:14 AM )   Morning blog time again, kids!

I'm feeling okay this morning, so school for me. *sigh* School is so boring. Lunch is okay, mind you, because I have (as Speller said) "so many male bitches that work" for me. ^__^

I've been doing a lot of drawing since I got those pens. It's scary... can't wait to get more! ^__^ I also gotta get me some 10 X 15 paper, 'cause that's the standard comic size. I don't feel up to fighting with printers because the size ratio on 8.5 X 11 is uneven. Screw it. I'll just redo it all on standards.

I'm having the straaangest breakfast. Pork chops. Don't ask me, it was the only thing I could find...

Song of the moment: "Cruel Angel's Thesis (Harmonia Remix)" from Evangelion. *slobbers* I forgot what a COOL remix this is!!!

Meg's Art Corner Ben Carter, looking cute and vaguely distant! (Hey, he's a Blink fan, too!) Mark makes a scarilly cute girl. o_O Appearently, so does Lucas. Onna-Cam makes me think of Rally from Gunsmith Cats for some reason.... How cliché.

Over and out!

( 5:30 PM )   Nah nah naaaah! Meg has Sympatico access!!

Anyway, Meg also got herself some niiiiice grey prismacolor pens yesterday! Meg drew some pretty pretty pictures with them, too! Meg is happy, so she is!

Meg's Art Corner With her new prismacolors in hand, Meg is proud to present her latest creations! Angelique, the evil evil bitchy whore of a Demon from AH. She's pretty, tho. ^_^; "Legacy of the Messiah" cast shot; Rukura, Lucifer, and Pandora as kids! Carter and Lucas, a strange relationship these doods have. Carter looks somewhat like Cam, doesn't he? Quoik, Meg's only fae kyara!!

( 2:25 PM )   Tiredtiredtiredtired....

At the Office Place, they have a set of 24 prismacolor markers for about 40 bucks. I WANT THEM, but mom says "no, I don't have that kind of money right now". So, what we're gonna do, is I'm gonna drag her to Curry's Art Supplies store in a few hours and see how much THEY'RE selling them for.... maybe she'll buckle and take me back to the Office Place. ^_~

I need grey markers...

...oh, note to all who talk to me at night online. I won't be on until really late 'cause the network will be down. Unless mom hooks us up with Sympatico tonight, I'll be on around 2am. *sniffles* I'm gonna be without my querida fix! *snifflesniffle*

( 8:34 PM )   Lack of bloggingness today, as you all may have noticed. Dunno why, I was home again....

song of the moment: "Under the Bridge" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I *heart* Flea.... what an AMAZING bass player. Too bad this song doesn't showcase him much. If you want good bass by the dood tho, "Californication" is an order.

*cheers* The restrictions to see Hannibal have been changed from R to AA! In other words, I can get in to see it! Heeey, Dan, Amy, Speller, anyone? Wanna come with? I warn y'all, tho, it's been said that this movie is grotesquely violent.

Tomorrow is gonna be a very busy day. I'm going into town with my mom and brother for most of the day, then it's home for a few hours (like, two), and to the mall where I shall meet with Quinn-chan and Chris to go for our ritual Riot Ink business meeting. Then I shall return from the depths of Quinn's anime/transformers shrine of a home and return to my humble lair around midnight. Then I'll prolly talk to my baaaaybeeeeee (aka: querida) for the remainder of the dark hours of the evening.

Oh! Celeb Jeopardy! Two of my faaaaavourite doods were on there! Seth Green from various shows such as Buffy, and Steven from the Barenaked Ladies! DOOD! And Seth has his hair buzzed in sooooo damn short that he looks bald. 0_o

Kick ass! 3 Doors Down are playing at the Warehouse on March 11, and tickets are only $27... man, I wanna GOOOOO!!!

( 12:37 PM )   For Whom the Bell Tolls by Metallica Make his fight on the hill in the early day Constant chill deep inside Shouting gun, on they run through the endless grey On the fight, for they are right, yes, by who's to say? For a hill men would kill, why? They do not know Suffered wounds test there their pride Men of five, still alive through the raging glow Gone insane from the pain that they surely know

For whom the bell tolls Time marches on For whom the bell tolls

Take a look to the sky just before you die It is the last time you will Blackened roar massive roar fills the crumbling sky Shattered goal fills his soul with a ruthless cry Stranger now, are his eyes, to this mystery He hears the silence so loud Crack of dawn, all is gone except the will to be Now the will see what will be, blinded eyes to see

For whom the bell tolls Time marches on For whom the bell tolls

( 12:17 PM )   Okay, today's guest BMB is quite good. ^__^

*points out the window* Heehee, a mini-plow!! *giggles*

song of the moment: "Sunny Came Home" by Shawn Colvin (so sue me, I like this song... ).

( 12:08 PM )   Why is it on days that it's not supposed to snow, it snows the most? We've gotten about 13 cm since last night and it's still coming down... -_-;

song of the moment: "For Whom the Bell Tolls" by Metallica. Heeheehee....makes me think of AH. I shall post the lyrics on here later.

( 7:42 AM )   The Wheel of Excitement on Neopets loves me... I just won another 10 000 np. O_O       ( 7:35 AM )   Morning blog!

Here I am, killing time while I wait for either mom to call me or for me to call mom. Stupid morons in Wal-Mart, you call the main office and ask to be patched through to Electronics, and they put you on hold and hang up on you. Figures, it was mom's boss that just did that to me. Moron.

I got slim to no sleep last night due to sickness. Man, do I hurt... I feel like my guts are being put into a dryer's spin cycle constantly. And after drinking 3 L of cranberry juice, I'm not too good right now. I'm kinda waiting for mom to call so I can ask her what to do... I dunno if I should stay home or go to school. I bet I'm missing a fair bit. Well, there's always Fiona and Harpreet to ask. ^_^;;

I bet Dan's gonna kill me if I'm off another day. Mike's prolly beaten him up a few times by now without me there.

*drums her fingers* Mom, I asked you to phone me... you've got 10 minutes, and then I phone YOU....and hope I don't get hung up on...

Oh! BmB's on it's guest week. Y'know, with guest artists doing the panels. I'm not liking it too much. Yesterday's was a tad too blunt, with not enough joke 'ahind it. Maybe next time, I'll try for a guest spot on there. I'd be sure to do something involving Cy and Skids. I love Cy and Skids. ^__^

I'm running very low on straight kyara. Querida manages to turn them all gay! *shakes her head* Bennett, Lucas, Rukura, Sy.... who next? *turns to Tiirak* Dood, you're not gay are you? Tiirak: No way. Meg: You sure?? Tiirak: Yes, I'm sure. Meg: *looks suspicious*

Mommie bought me the Silence of the Lambs yesterday. It's such a good movie, and all the better if you've read the book. The casting for the movie is very good, too... Jodie Foster makes such a cute Clarice Starling. It really pisses me off that Julianne Moore is playing Clarice in Hannibal (which comes out tomorrow, check your local listings ^_~). She is SO not Starling material. But as long as Sir Anthony Hopkins is still good ol' Hannibal Lecter the Cannibal, I'll watch it.

*calls Mom* Wow, I got through....!!! Maybe that's because I cheated and used the associates-only code. How would I know THAT? 9.9

Looks like I get to stay home again today... *feh* Boredom and a half. Amy, if you're home, feel free to phone me or something.

Over and out!

( 10:50 PM )   Yeeeeeeeee! Querida can read my mind and alter my dreamstate!!!!

No one should have to drink 2 litres of cranberry juice in 5 hours. x_X

( 9:21 AM )   Morning blog!

I'm home sick! And it's only the 4th day of semester 2. Seems that whatever the hell was wrong with me before is wrong with me again... pain hurts, you know. T_T;

I've not much to say today... doesn't that suck when you wanna say something but you're outta' stuff to say?

OH!!! GOOD NEWS! AH Issue one is officially coming along WELL! Looks like I won't have to go to version 16... ^___^

( 9:32 PM )   Rukura and Lian... I got bored and messed around with PC Paintbrush...       ( 6:41 PM )   *looking from her cat CC to her mug of hot chocolate* CC is staring at the marshmellows like they're evil..... *inches away*       ( 6:29 PM )   The Angel Hunter church stainglass window...?       ( 4:00 PM )   Okay, I know.... I didn't blog this morning. I was running mighty late. I had to hop fences to get to school. ^_^;;;

What did I do today? Not much. I got yelled at three times and nearly booted out of my history class (why? for drawing! >.<;;), and I nearly fell asleep in comm tech. Thankfully, Mr. Dewitte let us out early.

The layouts for pages 1-4 of AH have been redone. This is version 15... and I'm LIKING it! FINALLY!

Heeey, imouto! Mercutio was the best kyara in that play. I also liked Benvolio, he was cool too (my once-best-friend Brittany took to calling me 'Volio 'cause I liked him so much). Mercutio, tho, had one hell of an attitude, and he was interesting and VERY funny. Too bad he had to die... I'm glad you liked the little snippet. Allow me to post another, just for you! ^__^ This is another bit I quite like.

Benjamin found it facinating to watch him, he was so calm and so... well, he was the very picture of freedom as far as he was concerned. Yes, that was it. Benjamin admired Lokistrant's blasé attitude towards life. Envy, almost.

When one night, Lokistrant was late on his ritual visits to the plantation, Benjamin worried. Could he have been hurt?.... no. This was Lokistrant. He didn't GET hurt. But maybe he just didn't want to see him anymore?

Abandonment. A reoccurring issue. His throat felt dry suddenly. He curled up on his bed, blond hair over his eyes, and wished for morning, when he KNEW that Lokistrant would not come. No second guessing when daylight was involved.

Minutes passed. And quite unexpectedly, Lokistrant was there, startling the boy. Leaning against the far wall, watching quietly, decked out in his usual dark reds and silvers. Benjamin sat up. "How long have you been there? You scared me!"

Lokistrant smiled his usual enigmatic smile, the impression of fangs something no longer unexpected. "Carter, deepest apologies for being so late." The smile was kind, but the voice was final, the tone stating that there was to be no questions asked. Lokistrant held out his hand to the boy. "Care to come with me into town for a while?"

( 7:45 AM )   Morning Blog, part II

Oh! I saw Cast Away over the weekend! It's SO good! Tom Hanks is a surprisingly good actor... I mean, who else can get away with talking to a volleyball so convincingly? And we all know that Amy likes to imagine him naked (Tom, not the volleyball). You should all go see it! NOW!!!! That's an order!

Heehee, now a little quote for fun from a story I am going to re-write.

Benjamin stared across the table at the stranger, worried. The man seemed in his twenties, if that, and had long brown hair that spilled over his shoulders and down his back. His eyes were an unnatural ruby red, and they were very intelligent eyes. Benjamin had learned early in life to be cautious, especially with the smarter ones.

The man crossed his hands on the table in front of him, casual. "Benjamin Carter, correct?"

Benjamin could dect a vague, though unrecognizable, accent. "Yes sir."

"You're fifteen?"

"Yes sir."

"Such a shame to see someone so young forced into... what you're familiar with."

Benjamin sunk down in his chair. "Why are you here? Why did you pull me away from papa?"

To match Benjamin's withdraw from the table, the man leaned forward, and smiled. Benjamin could have sworn he saw fangs. "You remind me of someone."

( 7:22 AM )   Morning blog!

Man, do I feel WEIRD this morning. I'm not sure why, exactly, but I just feel weird. I dunno. I think a certain spiritie dood slept in my bed with me last night.... *points at Bennett* 'Cause I actually slept.

Last night, during a particularly good RP, my ISP died and wouldn't let me back on. I wasn't happy. It was getting SO good, too... *pouts*

I'm so quickly out of things to say.... ^____^;;

O'er an' out!

( 11:17 AM )   Meg's random contemplations I'm considering re-writing Carter's story, which ties in with a fair bit of Lucas' story. Been considering it for a while... Carter's got some serious problems, and he's fun to write because he's so screwed up. He's got a really weird past. His dad was SUCH a jerk.... and up until becoming a vampire, Carter was good little Bennie; never had the nerve to fight his father. *ponders* It's an interesting story. Maybe I'll start on it again after I get home from seeing Cast Away....       ( 10:56 PM )   Okay, people, special announcement!!!!!!! Congrats to Bennett and niichan on the birth of their daughter, Candra Arael Bennett! ^___^       ( 3:32 PM )   Woohoo! I got switched from Casement's class to Apostolou's class! Hooray!!! And I am already SO ahead of all the people in my comm tech class. I seem to be the only one who knows how to use Adobe Photoshop, Illustrator, Publisher, and Premier, as well as Quark and a few other programs. Damn, am I ahead. *_*       ( 7:36 AM )   Morning blog!

Wow, I only slept 3 hours and I feel okay.... *falls out of her chair laughing at today's BmB* Cy and Skids are a riot! I hope they do turn out as a couple! *laughing*

New semester starts today. I'm not too happy about this, as I have history and math this semester, and history is my homeroom class. With Mr. Casement. *cries* NOOOO!!! If I get called by my last name ONCE in his class, I'm gonna commit suicide (okay, not really).

My room is now a nice shrine of large wall hangings. On the walls around my bed, I have three Card Captor Sakura wallscrolls (two anime, one manga), and one kick-ASS Prozzak Saturday People promo poster. Thank you, John. *smilesmilesmile*

On Neopets, I am neopoor. Looks like my pets are gonna be eating at the soup kitchen a lot. -_-;

Meg's Art Corner! I know, I've not done much in the way of art lately. You know what's weird? I tend to draw more in school than at home. I think it's because I'm around so many people. Cam's SD Panther form, doodled in MS Paint. I was bored, okay? And it DID turn out cute. Part of my MS Paint family portrait. I still have to finish the pictures for John and Dani, and the kids too if I have enough willpower after screwing around with the stupid program afterwards.

Song of the moment: "When Doves Cry (Fatboy Slim remix) by Depeche Mode and Prince. I love this... don't ask me why. ^_^;

Quote of the moment: "Listen sister, if I want your opinion, I'll BEAT it out of you!" -- Elvira, Mistress of the Dark

Okay, that's it for now. Ja matta ne! *disappears in purple smoke*

( 12:38 PM )   Song of the moment: "Misere by Andrea Bocelli and John Miles. I have a very....expansive taste in music. So sue me. *sings along*       ( 11:45 AM )   To Chris-kun: Dooood, I don't hate you, and I'm not mad at you..... jus' chill, man. S'your blog, you can say what's on your mind...

I got my pretty pretty new cladagh ring in the mail yesterday! *kisses said ring* Mi querida gave it to me!! Isn't that sweet? ^__^

I have come to the conclusion that Cam would make a really scary bad guy. Like, not c3... but if CAM were bad. He'd be scary. I mean, he's already got some issues with where his loyalty lies... and he's pretty much infinite in power. Not to mention, after being killed about 200 times, I think he knows the painful ways to kill people. Wonder if niichan (currently my neechan) sees this? Well, at least now he knows about Cam's possibilities for becoming nothing more than a lethal weapon.

I have three neopets! My blue wocky named Cadence, my green shoyru named Lokistrant, and my yellow eyrie Poyania! ^__^

"My December" is © Linkin Park. The art is mine. Don't take. Information on the layout is thus; this is Damien McKinnley, a character of mine whom I've been roleplaying for a little over a year now. He's Simon McKinnley's oldest child, and he's kinda angsty and depressive. Art done in paintchat and added some snow in Photoshop.

Name: Meg Graham AKA: DJ Rabid Armadillo Age: 17 Birthday: May 1st Identifies as: a depressive and obsessive compulsive bisexual artist and writer Hair: black Eyes: grey Bands: Depeche Mode, Iron Maiden Movies: Fight Club, Velvet Goldmine, Hedwig and the Angry Inch Books: As I Lay Dying, Harry Potter, Fight Club, A Clockwork Orange, and the Repairman Jack series. Anime: Fruits Basket, Kare Kano Manga: Fruits Basket, Kare Kano Artists: Takaya Natsuki, H.R Giger, Tony, Firefly Family: Tony, Julian, Dora, Poe, Mina Lives for: Firefly, art, music

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Brittany Deanna Lisa Firefly Dora Becky Dan Julian Tony (blog) Alex Heidi Megan Hana Gerrad Kiran Amy Zalina Katarina Matt Ribby Chris Meagen Poe Tsua Frecklegirl Rikki Mina Blair

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[enormous-moose]

I don't believe in the devil or Christian themes.

...

...

HOWEVER

I would like to point out something I find very interesting and it involves a difference of approach in understanding. This is just me working though my thoughts on stuff I'm hearing and reading. It's an opinion about my understanding of stories. You'll also get a little taste of why I was so close to becoming an atheist. I just am so against religion as an authority. When you add religion into man made laws you are risking so much interpretation that doesn't hold true to everyone. But I digress here's what I was thinking about:

These stories about the devil giving power to someone who is in a desperate need seems to be some of the strongest cases against the Christian god.

However they are used to prove gods power or proof you should follow god.

"at the cost of your soul you will be given power." Whatever the devil gives it depends on the person.

However from what I can find most of these people who were "seeking power from the devil" were those in the worst of situations.

These people were poor and rejected members of society. They turned to the devil to gain something that would give them a sense of belonging and a minute amount of power.

Why is this bad?

Why is it bad that those who are rejected get something in a way they are able to? Why is this thing that others deemed "evil" seem to be the only being that wants others to rise beyond what the world has made them?

I don't believe in the devil and this is one of the reasons I'm not a Christian.

The public believes that those who gain power unexpectedly are in service to the devil while those who gained that power slowly were in service of god?

Let's go a few steps farther:

Those who do the impossible are evil in the eyes of Christians.

Example:

Too beautiful of music?

-sold your soul to the devil to get tit

Too much good fortune at the casino?

-devil dice

Animals absolutely love you?

-totally evil witch

You gain insight in the future?

Burn the witch

You aren't sick while the rest of the town is?

You caused the illness

You see the world differently than the Christian church?

What devilry is this!

Having your own opinion that contradicts the church?

Torture is important to determine what other witches this fowl beast is in cahoots with.

Meanwhile things done in the name of this Christian god:

A paster is a multimillionaire while his followers are living in poverty?

It is the lord's will.

Killing anyone in the LGBTQ community?

God wanted it done.

Illness that effects mostly same sex couples?

God is punishing them.

You see the world differently than a forest worshipping pagan?

You are the next messiah.

You tell someone what they want to hear and not what they need to hear to be better people?

Fucking die for this man until he is in power!

Anyway I'm getting away from the original content.

My point is: don't something against the status quo is so easily defected to the devil at work. Meanwhile anyone doing something terrible but claiming it's in the name of "god" is decidedly good.

This creates an insane precedent in christianity that means it's impossible to be in the right unless you are already deemed in the right before these actions are committed and even then you need to be so far in the right that you are beyond reproach.

The idea of divine actions or gods will is too much of a human invention for it to hold up in Christianity.

When you have two people:

one saying they stopped a fire to protect a village.

The other saying this fire was stopped by witchcraft and devil work. Gods will was wanting the village destroyed

Who is right?

Who is meant to interpret the will of this god?

In the end the person who stopped the fire is deemed a witch.

The one who is right is the one who gains favored public image and support. What an absolutely terrible and feeble God they must be.

This is my problem with interpreting a gods will to affect someone else. This is also why it is so fucking important to not have "god" brought into any laws.

The concept of morality is very very important and I believe morality would go so much farther than religious reasoning.

I do someone because it is right. I don't kill people because it is fucking wrong. I dont hurt others because I don't think it's right. I dont need a religious reasoning behind it.

One reason I was attracted to the pagan belief is because it spoke to me against interpreting gods will. It went to you personally. You cannot gain power through sinful ways because your power is your right how you use it is your own and it is your business but live with your consequences. If we weren't meant to have it we wouldn't have it.

So that's what I'm thinking about.