#i'm not the best gif maker in the world but i'm pretty happy with how my gifs turn out so yeah

[mandalhoerian]

Shai! Shai! I've thought of another scenario for Leon😊 Altho being a new fan I've come to the conclusion that Leon is the type to believe he's not good enough for his partner, he believes they could do better then him. So imagine a Leon who has finally accepted he has feelings for you and works up the courage to confess only for you to turn the tables on him and say you dont feel good enough for him. I imagine he would be in disbelief? How would he react to his crush telling him "You're too good for me Leon."?

too good for me | leon kennedy x reader

pairing: leon kennedy x reader (unspecified gender) genre: fluff, miscommunication, the "endeared badass x normal person scared shitless of the endeared badass" trope. no spice, unfortunately. only good vibes and leon being head over heels smitten. enjoy! word count: 2.7K? It's short! notes: hi sarah! i am SO SORRY this has taken forever. you requested this one month ago! its been so hectic lately, i've been having health problems that required regular hospital visits and tests upon tests, but now that my surgery (yeah i know... yikes) is authorized i'm only waiting for them to call me for the date and have all the time in the world to get my rest and write. i'm also working on your other (wink wink) request! thank you so much for being patient with me. hope this is what you had in mind! i also added my touch and ideas to it lmao. happy reading!!

🌀 read on ao3!

“You’re too good for me,” is the hesitant, small answer you give him while avoiding eye contact and playing with your fingers in front of your office’s shared coffee maker Leon had made countless paperwork excuses to be able to simply stop by — to his question, that is, about why you wouldn’t go on a simple date with him. 

You puff out an awkward laugh to smooth things over as humorous but it’s forced and not at all sincere. 

It’s taken Leon a whole inner journey (Spain. Mostly the simultaneous trauma and catharsis of Spain) to get over himself to recognize what his heart truly wanted but was too pussy to look at before, yet here you two are. The lone angel in his life telling the failure Leon is that he’s too good? For you?

He simply stares, dumbly standing there, piping hot coffee that’s actually incompatible with his taste buds he insists he must do a detour to get from here simply because you often do, stiff and awkward in his hold, thinking he heard you wrong because he hasn’t gotten a good night’s rest — rest, not sleep — in forever since he came back from Spain. 

He’s been forcing himself to come to work just for a glimpse of you and your pretty face to recharge his battery, heal his soul a bit, let you be all that occupies his mind despite being laid off after that outrageous mission that resulted in the president’s unwanted favor and nightmares upon nightmares with only anxious yet soothing thoughts of you as the best bad out of the worst he’s had to face— and what is it that you said again?  

“You’re joking right?” Leon says, pride not knowing if it should be broken or not because he’s not sure to take this as a rejection, and it isn’t his intention for it to sound that harsh. He’s not some asshole who can’t take no for an answer, it’s your reasoning that has him downright jamming like a gun.

Leon has to remind himself to switch off work mode because now you look mousey as if he has a paw on your tail, shoulders pulled into yourself.  “Sorry!” He feels so bad, heart expanding within his ribcage and it aches, fuck, he just wanted to ask you out and all he’s doing is scaring you. “I’m sorry, you were kidding. I didn’t get it— I’m kinda slow and you sound flat sometimes, of course you weren’t serious, I’m—”

“No, I was serious.” His eyebrows furrow at yet another self-degradation from you. “It’s you who has to be kidding. What do you mean too good for you?”

You are at a loss of words, mouth opening but nothing coming out, and finally look him in the eye and all Leon wants to do is lean down and capture your mouth, he’s heavily distracted by you licking your lips and swallowing, the sighting of the tip of your pink tongue makes his shirt suddenly suffocating and tight. 

“I mean,” you begin tentatively, unaware of what’s going on in his head, vaguely gesturing to Leon. “Well… You’re you, I mean… And I’m. Me. Look at you and look at me. Why would you even…?”

“Hey,” Leon sets his mug on the counter, closing his eyes and pinching the insides with his thumb and pointer. The implications alone sent a zapping headache through his skull that he knows he has to rest to be able to unpack, especially when he’s finally decided on seriously pursuing you in spite of himself. Leon can’t let this remain unaddressed, for your sake and his sanity. “How about I wait for you after work today and we talk about this somewhere else?” He’s squinting. “In detail.”

“We don’t really need to—”

“We do.” Leon wants you to see he’s serious about this — about you. “Because I see something here that I want to pursue and we can’t have any misunderstandings. Would appreciate it if you at least give me the chance to clear the air.”

“P-pursue?” You swallow and Leon’s mind wanders again. “Clear the air you say…”

He breathes in. “Can you give me your phone?”

You slap it into his palm almost immediately, the speed with which you obey him without asking him any questions surprises him. He wants to scold if you’re willing to hand over your mobile to any guy who asks, but supposes it’s not his place — is frustrated this is what it takes to get him annoyed, as well. He isn’t some young adult. Weirdly, you make him feel like one.  

He’s punching his own number in, despite the conflicting feelings, finally feeling like this is getting somewhere and he’s doing it when you start talking again, nervous. “You can uh, clear the air… right here… without taking me to a secondary location…” 

His eyes flick up to yours in confusion and you look to the right immediately, and back to him. To the right. Back to him. It’s somehow comedic, because why do you look like you’re cornered by some bad guy? 

You really look like you want to be anywhere else than here, Leon’s fucking this up and he doesn’t even know what he’s doing wrong. Was he going too fast? Should he have told you his number and let you save it instead? 

You’re mumbling, nervousness clear as day for reasons he can’t fathom, he hears you, but he doesn’t really understand. 

“What? What's wrong?" Leon asks, his voice laced with genuine concern. He takes a step closer, wanting to bridge the gap between you and alleviate whatever discomfort you were experiencing. "You seem... uneasy. Did I do something wrong?"

Your eyes meet his briefly, then quickly shift away again, as if you are struggling to find the right words. 

Leon's heart sinks. His intention wasn’t to make you feel nervous or pressured, especially when he is genuinely trying to connect with you — then, in a brilliant moment of heart-stopping realization, the fact that you might just not be interested slaps him in the face and he’s…

Well. Wouldn’t that be the reality? 

Leon is… He isn’t exactly the ideal man. Not with what he does, and how his life is. He’s aware of that. Have been running from forming connections because of what he knows will end up happening because of that. He can’t get attached and keep losing people — can’t keep getting hurt in the vicious cycle to prevent everyone from getting hurt. It’s been the bane of his existence ever since STRATCOM plucked him off straight from Raccoon City. Even if you work in the same field as him, just different offices, who is to say it will work out anyway? 

He’s getting ahead of himself. You might not like him at all in the first place. Jesus. 

Maybe you see him for what he is. Maybe you think he’s not  —- the effort’s not worth it, and you wouldn’t exactly be wrong in thinking so. You could be wanting something else in life that he only has the desire to give you, and not the promise. He wouldn’t blame you, hell, who would blame someone for being their own person with their thoughts, wishes, wants and goals in life? 

You’re too good for me, really, is his line. It has been right from the beginning, his excuse in running away from his undeniable, frightening attraction to you.

"No, it's not you," you finally managed to articulate, prompting Leon to release the breath he was holding, your voice shaky, playing with your fingers. "I just... I feel a bit overwhelmed. This is all happening so fast, and I never expected..."

Leon nods, his expression softening as he realizes the weight of the situation. He hasn’t fully considered how his sudden confession and determination to pursue you might have caught you off guard. He has been so focused on his own feelings that he hasn’t taken into account your own thoughts and emotions.

"I understand," he replies, voice gentle and reassuring. "I didn't mean to overwhelm you. I just... I couldn't keep my feelings to myself anymore. But please know that I don't expect an immediate answer or any commitment from you. I just… Well. I just wanted to tell you. See where this goes. Or, maybe, if that’s not the case… Get rejected for good so I can move on, you know?"

You laugh a little and it’s genuine — you have no idea how it turns Leon’s heart into putty right where it hangs between two lungs. “Do you really mean all of that?”

“Of course,” he says, offended the tiniest bit. “Why do you think I would joke about something like this?”

“It’s not about you joking, really…” You’re uncomfortable again, hesitating to tell him something. 

“Hey, you can tell me.”

“Can you promise you won’t get mad?”

“What am I, your father?” He snorts. “Come on, tell me.” 

You brace yourself for it and he doesn’t understand why until you say it. “You, um… You’re kinda scary.”

He blinks. “Sorry?”

“Sorry!” You raise your hands up in panic. “I don’t really mean it like that, not to insult you or anything, it’s actually admirable, I’m just saying! Discipline, work ethic, unmatched field performance! You’re very… Very, uh… Intimidating, yeah, that’s the word…? I mean, like… You, uh, you’re famous, you know, we all know your work, you’re very hard working, working hard, very hard work — uh, um… So it’s…”

“I scare you?” Leon swears he felt his eyes get bigger the faster you kept on vomiting words. “You think I would hurt you?” 

“No!” You reject strongly, waving a nervous hand at him. Silence befalls later, which you follow awkwardly with a silent, guilty. “Maybe,” after clearing your throat. 

 He had always strived to be a protector, but he hadn't realized that his image and reputation — what it had become after Spain — could have such an effect on someone he cares about. 

"I never meant to scare you," he says softly, his voice filled with genuine remorse, he puts the coffee mug on the counter and leans his hip on it, shoulders sagging a bit as he crosses his arms. The thought of you only feeling intimidation about him leaves a bitter taste worse than the coffee does. "I guess... I've always been so focused on work, on the dangers just around the corner — I’m aware how it might affect my relationships in the long run so I never attempted to form any at all, but I never realized how it might affect how people see me in the first place. I never wanted to make you, of all people, feel this way. I could never hurt you. Never."

“I didn’t want to imply you’re a guy who’d intentionally hurt someone—”

“Don’t worry about it,” he sighs, ruffling his hair to get rid of the awkwardness. “So I’ve just been bugging you this whole time, huh? Jesus. I’m so sorry.”

“No! No, don’t say that, you’re amazing! You’re like a hero around here…”

“Around here doesn’t mean shit,” he replies curtly, and regrets cursing like that in front of you immediately. It’s unbecoming of him — and doesn’t help his image in your eyes at all. He’s getting frustrated. His tone lowers into a softer, more disappointed, heartfelt one. “I only care about how you think of me.” 

“Well, you’re amazing,” you say again, bashfully this time, and it prompts him to look at you. There’s something shy about you now that has him standing taller in anticipation, wondering if it’s him reading this wrong or not. “It’s pretty well-known if you didn’t know.”

“I don’t know,” he prods, idiot heart fluttering at the way you’re flustered. “What do you think? Besides intimidating, I mean. Not reporting on the local gossip this time, if you don’t mind.”

“You seem like a nice guy,” you settle. The middle ground. “I’ve seen you with the president’s daughter.”

Leon's expression softens at your words, a mixture of relief and gratitude washing over him. He takes a deep breath, trying to let go of the tension that had built up within him. The mention brings a slight smile to his face, memories of Ashley flooding his mind, a fondness evident in his eyes. "Ah, Ashley. Yeah, that was quite the adventure. Though what can you be other than a nice guy when your mission is the president’s daughter?"

“I know a couple people who’d treat her like a package to be delivered. You prioritized her wellbeing more than anything.”

“What else was I supposed to prioritize?”

“You know what I mean. Emotional wellbeing. I’ve read your initial report and her statement. You cared about her.” A smile tugs at your lips, he can tell you’re a bit more comfortable now. "Especially during what you’ve been through. It's impressive how you handle yourself in those situations."

He shrugs modestly, a hint of pride shining in his eyes. You respect him. "I guess you could say it comes with the job. But it's not all action and danger, you know. There's more to me than just being a government agent."

Your curiosity piques, and you tilt your head, prompting him to continue. "Tell me more. What's Leon Kennedy like outside of work and missions?"

It catches him off guard that you want to know more and take the first step. You could have just rejected him. His heart picks up, chest expanding in excitement, he’s glad for the opportunity to share a glimpse of his life beyond the chaos of his work — he’s normally not eager to share pieces of his life like this, but… He’d give it to you on a silver platter, whether it'd lure you in or not. That’s how Leon knows he wants this with you so bad. “I wanna lie to woo you but… Would it be too unattractive to tell I really don’t have a life outside of work? I’m still trying to find some balance in my life. The upper echelon guys are pretty ruthless and demanding. I guess it means I can say I’m into traveling?”

“Is this the cool guy way of saying you’re an introvert these days?”

The unexpectedness of it is what gets him to throw his head back to laugh, and he catches you staring, scrambling to rub his face to get rid of it and regain some composure. “Yeah,” he breathes. “Pretty much.”

“Well,” you gesture at him, there’s a vague pink hue dusting your cheeks. “What are you into, then?”

God, he can’t stop, “Other than you?” from escaping his dumb mouth. He shouldn’t have said it. It’s too corny. So uncalled for. Your mouth hangs open and he wishes he could rewind the tape to take it back and choose some other option. “Say… What about we continue this discussion after work? I know a good coffee place. Let me make it up to you for invading your lunch time. I’ll tell you all about me, what do you say?”

You look at the clock on the wall, he knows you didn’t get to have anything because he decided to turn up and serenade you with unwanted attention, it’s two birds with one stone for him if you decide to accept — he wouldn’t have asked if he didn’t see a perfect moment to seize the chance. 

“Coffee sounds perfect,” you nod, with no pressure from him, and it lifts a great weight off his shoulders. “Would it be okay if I eat something too?”

Why are you so adorable? You don’t know that you own the power to get Leon to have your superiors let you go for the day, but he can’t get too excited right now. “Say the word and it becomes a dinner date.”

It gets you flustered again, you don’t know where to put your hands, and he’s so happy about it. “It’s a weekday… That’d be a bit exhausting…”

“Okay. Coffee date it is.”

He’s noticing you like the cheeky confidence, and it makes sense, considering the intensity had you intimidated. “Thank you,” you say. “I’d like that.”

“Believe me,” Leon can’t stop the grin from overtaking his expression. “My pleasure. You’re honestly too good for me.”

There’s the sudden urge to kiss you when vulnerability and shyness lights up your whole face, but he’ll take it slow. He has to take it slow. For himself. 

[v-era-18]

Red Licorice

Chapter Three: A Dead Girls Diary

“We don’t need them. It’ll be me and you against the world,” -Casey Beker

June 14th 1996

I know I'm supposed to start out with Dear Diary, but that's for basic bitches as Tatum would say-that dumb redhead.

Today my mother gifted me with another diary to write down my feelings after my break up with basketball player Paul Mathews. We had been dating for over a year, had gone on several dates, I cheered at all his games and wore his jersey blah blah-. She thinks I took it hard but in reality, I was more appalled with the reason why for the breakup. From what Pual’s sister had confessed, it was because he didn't like me at all-and was using me to get to my best friend (Y/n) (L/n).

(Y/n) is my best friend, I love her so much! Not only is she super smart but she's insanely pretty too. The only problem is she never believes it whenever someone tells her how beautiful she is. Hence why I wasn't hurt with the fact that Paul fell for (Y/n)-I understood why. She's like a beacon of light that you want to be covered in each day, from the way she laughs with a wide smile to the way she enters the room warming the space around her.

Long story short, many guys have come up to me and asked me how to ask her out before, and you know what I did as a good friend? I told them to get lost and they could kiss my ass! All of the boys at our school are practically dogs, (Y/n) needs a boyfriend that actually cares and likes the things she's interested in.

Take Randy for instance, he would be a perfect match-

(The rest of the sentence was crossed out)

On second thought, she doesn't need any man but me.

June 17th 1996

Okay Diary, I know it's been a minute since i've updated you on what's going on, but long story short-Tatum has lost her damn mind! Not only did she decide to sleep with my ex boyfriend Paul but there's a rumor amongst the other cheerleaders that they had been sleeping with each other for awhile behind my back! The absolute nerve!

(Y/n) told me I should let it go and possibly find another boyfriend who really cares about me the way I should be treated. She even went out of her way to watch a marathon of Rom-com videos with me to cheer me up. Not only did she cook me my favorite chocolate cake but she also made sure we did our nails. She even let me put color to hers-although she wouldn't let me do pink, but I didn't mind.

I am a bit jealous that Stu and Billy have been trying to get her to watch horror movies with them alone. I find it really weird how the two of them since we've been kids have always insisted that it has to be the three of them to enjoy the movies. But the jokes on them! (Y/n) has been spending all her time with me, Sidney and that bitch of a redhead.

Who needs boys when you have girls instead.

OMG I just got the greatest idea on how to get back at Tatum!

I'll keep you in the loop with my devilish diary!

Xoxox,

Casey

June 27th 1996

You'll never believe what happened today! My plan to get back at Tatum worked! Well not actually but indirectly.

You see Tatum has a huge crush on Stu Matcher, the dumb trouble maker (Y/n) always watches horror movies with. The bright side is that he's hot and is known for making all the girls melt in our school. I honestly didn't get what Tatum sees in him-but it must be something since she keeps ranting and raving about it during our sleep overs.

(Y/n), Sidney and Tatum came with me to the mall to do a little shopping, and Stu and Billy just so happened to be there looking for god knows what. They simply insisted on tagging along and the whore was more than happy to give in. It seemed to make (Y/n) uncomfortable with how much Tatum was flirting with Stu-I put it together that she simply hates public displays of affection. That's how it was when Paul was around.

Eventually Sidney and Tatum decided to head off in the lingerie store and decided to drag (Y/n) with them-knowing that my friend hates men seeing her in there. I was about to take along and make suggestions when Stu stopped me, the boy was straightforward with flirting-and I hated how easy it was for me to fall for his sly smooth words. I would be mush if I honestly found him perfect, but the amount of times he's followed (Y/n) around like a lost puppy freshman year screamed otherwise. So I played the game-remembering I had a score to settle with Tatum, and soon enough we were in the public restroom getting busy.

I won't lie-he was good. No wonder he broke so many hearts and had ex’s demand to get back together with him.

It wasn't long after the mall that he asked me on a date-a bit backwards don't you think? I guess I was a very good lay for him-my efforts paid off though, he only paid attention to me in spite of Tatums efforts.

During the whole time, (Y/n) did not speak to me, I could tell something was wrong due to her forced smiles and lack of conversation. Especially when Billy mentioned the new horror movie coming to theaters that he and Stu wanted to go see with her. I even asked to join, but she acted docile during the whole conversation.

I felt as though I made a deep mistake of some kind. And it really bothers me.

July 2nd 1996

I fucked up. Really bad.

(Y/n) has been avoiding me, and each time I invite her over my house she always says she has to help her Aunt out with something-which is bullshit because her aunt works her ass off at the hospital 24/7.

I have been spending a lot of time with Stu lately, but we either are having sex or he wants to watch horror movies. Sometimes I simply just stare at the scream lost in thought as to why I wanted to continue this relationship. I mean the sex is good, don't get me wrong and it feels like a victory to continue tormenting Tatum with our relationship, but it didn't feel right to keep doing this if my best friend isn't around.

I told Stu about my concerns with (Y/n) only for him to ask if he should talk to her about it, it was the way that he asked that quickly threw me off. I then proceed to ask about their friendship and how they often hang out with each other. He tells me they haven't interacted as of late because of me, and asked me to ‘politely’ stop getting in the way of their movie time together.

We had a huge fight about it. I didn't like the way he said it so casually that he wanted her there with him rather than me. We ended up having sex an hour later-but it didn't feel right. It was odd, Stu seemed to be hate fucking me one minute then caressing and telling me how sorry he was.

Once he was done he looked at me for a long moment, it was like he was trying to see me as someone else-I had seen that look before with other boys who loved someone else. Whatever spell he was under he snapped out of it before kicking me out before his parents got home.

I’m so lost.

July 4th 1996

(the page was torn out with leftover teardrops)

July 7th 1996

Me and (Y/n) had a heart to heart. It was jealousy - something that we both never in terms felt within our friendship. I know her, she’s not the type to get jealous unless she truly liked or felt for the person she was looking at. And even then-there wasn’t many that she looked at-from my knowledge anyway.

We spent the rest of the afternoon together watching movies on her living room couch. It felt good to be in each other's good graces again, afterall my life just seemed out of place without her in it. Watching horror movies, going shopping, or simply walking in the town square didn't do it for me without her by my side. There was one part in the movie where I watched her laugh the hardest she's ever done, her smile warmed me up inside, my heart hammering miles per minute.

When it came time for my mom to arrive, I didn't want to leave. I wanted to stay. To hear her laughs and have her stay in my embrace longer. The bed in my home feels colder-missing the warmth on the other side of the mattress.

July 13th 1996

I'm scared to share this, but I've been rewinding last night's dream in my mind for the past three hours straight. It was nice at first, it seemed like every other day, I was over (Y/n)’s house horror movie in the background with the air blaring to life. The one thing that seemed weird was how close we were, she was laying on my chest covered in a blanket as I played with her curls.

It was comfortable, until (Y/n) leaned up and kissed me, not a quick peck but a slow passionate one. It wasn’t like the many empty ones I had given in my past relationships, it meant something. I could feel it-the love the joy my best friend was giving me. What shocked me the most was the fact I was kissing back taking the lead-dominating her entire being as I watched her melt in my grasp.

Soon I was on top of her kissing down her neck, stripping her of her clothes and sucking her breasts. I enjoyed it, the sight and the sounds she was making pleased me. It was different taking control but from how I was acting it was as if I had known how to do this my whole life.

I’ll never forget the way she moaned my name as I gave her orgasm after orgasm on the couch-her cunt practically dripping wet with her own thighs coated in her mess. Her eyebrows pulled together in ecstasy with her brown circles of breast on full display-arching into the air. It wasn’t long before we both finished, the aftercare was something I noticed I prioritized. I made sure she took a shower and was fed before taking her to the room to sleep.

It just felt right. No guilt. No thoughts about boys and their rough nature. Just the two of us. One embracing the other.

July 20th 1996

Distractions are what I found myself needing each night, and lucky enough for me there were plenty in Woodsburror. But with the many times I ended up underneath Stu I couldn't get her out of my head. Her moans and sweet utterance of my name against my lips, the same lips I found myself sucking the dick of the same man who had a secret attraction for my friend.

I know right-when did that happen.

It was the other night when I was with Stu in his truck, I had a slip of the lips and moaned (Y/n)’s name. I really hadn't meant to, but the way Matcher had stopped everything was telling enough-he didn't like the fact it was her name I had said. He had stopped initiating sex with me that night-even though he was still on hard.

I asked him if he was going to tell anyone what had happened. He said no, and instead offered a proposition. At first I was a bit scared to know what it was, but thought I didn’t have much of an option-I didn’t want my secret getting out.

He wanted a threesome between (Y/n) and Me. I immediately looked at him in a mix of shock and utter disgust. To get out of it I immediately mentioned that she was a virgin still-he countered it saying that he would be her first. The way he said it was weirdly full of warmth and affection. It twisted my stomach into knots and made me question how authentic was the relationship we currently had. The way he said her name-from the way he promised not to use her-to be gentle all the way through.

I hated it. I hated him. I never wanted to get out of a truck so fast in my entire life.

To get out of the conversation I lied and said I would think about it. But obviously-I'm thinking of a way to end this.

He wasn't going to touch (Y/n). Not on my watch.

July 27th 1996

Cheating isn't something to be glorified, ever. But damn did it feel like a weight off my shoulders when I heard of Tatums whore ways.

The new rumor amongst the cheerleaders this week was hot! Half the squad was over Autumn’s house when the ball was dropped about what the team captain had seen the other day on her way to Blockbuster. Apparently Tatum had invited Sidney and (Y/n) along on their blockbuster run knowing that Stu and Billy would be there. At first I was a bit upset (Y/n) hadn't told me anything about it-but the gears started turning once Autumn said Stu had ignored Tatum the entire time, his attention solely on my best friend.

It was confirmed with a simple sighting and interaction with the two, Stu didn't want me or Tatum. He wanted (Y/n). And in his own twisted way of trying to get close to her he was using us (her friends) as a gateway.

I don't understand. He had more opportunities to date her from the beginning, they were practically inseparable since they were kids-especially in middle school. Billy soon added to the mix not so long after his mother wasn't as present anymore.

You're probably wondering where the cheating part had taken place right? Long story short, our team captain-Abigail- had saw Stu fucking Tatum against the wall of an alleyway next to the store. It was embarrassing, not only did everyone give me sympathetic looks, but they all knew about what Paul did. It was the same thing happening twice in the row-(Y/n) being tossed in the mix.

I played the part of the sad grieving girlfriend very well, maybe it was because through the irony of it all- I didn't care about the fact the boys didn't want me. I cared about the fact they wanted (Y/n). They wanted my best friend-the girl I wanted all to myself.

I don't blame them for falling in love with her though, after all. I did it myself.

August 1st 1996

Today was cheerleading practice for the new school year along the day football players start preparation for the upcoming football season. Most of the time while we were coming up with cheers on the sidelines, the fresh new round of quarterbacks would hoot and holler for our new uniforms.

I'll admit, they were very sexy. But I really couldn't get my mind off of me and (Y/n)’s sleepover last night. She had simply fallen asleep on my chest, her silk nightie rode up at the bottom leaving her lace painties in view. I was quick to pull the dress back down-but my mind had wondered if I had proceeded things differently.

My parents weren't home and it would've been the perfect opportunity. But instead I was too scared of what she would say or the possibility of ruining our friendship.

My kicks and flips were the worst it had ever been throughout practice and the other girls could tell. And much to my embarrassment they thought it was because of Tatum messing around with Stu. As if I could care less what that whore did with my lay! And the bigger fact of the matter is Stu dosen’t even want Tatum either-hes just fucking her till he gets bored.

I couldn't do it anymore, I was sexually frustrated. From the pent of feelings for my best friend and the fact Tatum continued to pretend she didn't keep stabbing me in the back over and over again.

I had noticed Steve staring at me throughout his drills, and decided to call him over once me and the girls took our two hour break from practice. Seducing him wasn't that hard-it was obvious he thought more with his dick than his own head.

The locker room was thankfully deserted giving us enough time to get an hour of pleasure in. The poor boy took it the wrong way and thought I wanted to go out with him-it wasn't a bad idea though. Steve was cute and had a lot going for himself, and seemed somewhat of a decent guy, plus it gave me an excuse to dump Stu.

I can only hope he doesn't get too angry about it down the line.

August 7th 1996,

Okay so the breakup didn't go as smoothly as I had hoped-but it was better than I had originally had expected.

Stu wasn't as furious about the breakup as I thought he was going to be, he only seemed a tad bit frustrated with something I couldn't understand. Even with the many accusations I had tossed his way about screwing Tatum and wanting (Y/n) all for himself. He seemed only focused on the fact that (Y/n) wouldn't be around that much anymore-he has a serious problem he needs to solve.

And I told him that. (Y/n) isn't his-and she never will be.

That's what started it-the rampage the boy went on. I had never seen Stu so livid from just telling him he couldn't have her. The one girl he wanted. He did not place his hands on me or anything but kept screaming for me to get out of the house. I did leave in a rush, afterall I had my current new boyfriend outside waiting to comfort me.

But when the news broke out, things started to flip upside down. I think the only person that was disappointed in me was (Y/n). She couldn't believe what I had done-cheating on Stu with Steve and causing such drama amongst the group. In my opinion I had done nothing wrong-it was Tatums fault for fucking Paul then going after Stu while we were in a relationship.

I didn't understand why she was taking Stu’s side either, it hurt hearing she didn't want to lie to him and say I didn't do what I did. Or how much I hurt him.

I lost my temper. I'll admit it, yelling at her wasn't the way to go. And I might have said something I wasn't proud of. But it was how I felt at the moment- she didn't need to worry so much over Macher if she was MY friend! If she was MY everything!

But that's the thing she's not mine. But she should be.

August 12th 1996,

Today was the first day of school, my senior year. One semester away from saying goodbye to these bloodsucking vermin in the dust once and for all. Mom wished me luck this year, we had a long prayer at the breakfast table for scholarships and hopefully a bright future ahead. The only thing that seemed out of place was the empty chair beside me; (Y/n)’s place at the table.

This was the first time she wasn't over for the first day of school with me. We usually had sleepovers the night before, gossip-made bets on what's going to transpire but no-I had made the ultimate mistake of yelling at her and degrading her for voicing her opinion.

I called her Stu’s whore.

I didn't mean it of course, but it was something I said to hurt her-the last thing I had wanted to do.

The first day of school was okay, it turns out I have a few classes with (Y/n) and Sidney, fortunately I don't have any with Tatum ,Stu or Billy. But Randy is in my science and history class. Randy wouldn't shut up talking about how cute (Y/n) looked today, and I couldn't shake the feeling of jealousy as many men in the school watched her up and down the school halls.

She wore her hair up into a high afro ponytail, swirls of her hair laid upon her head. I couldn't help but stare at the loose flannel-her shoulders were bare, and she wore some jean shorts with some beat up converse. During class I couldn't help but stare, even with Sidney encouraging me to speak to her I couldn't. And I felt as though if I tried talking to her about it something else might have transpired.

I couldn't tell her my feelings for her. What would my parents say? Not to mention the whole student body. Being gay in this town isn't uncommon but many people, especially adults are old fashioned. Last time I checked (Y/n)’s Aunt even had something sly to say about girls viewing each other's bodies if they are not family.

I can't win. Not if I leave this hell hole and start anew.

Would it be a possibility that (Y/n) would come with? Come with me to start a new life away from all of this? I would let her watch movies whenever she wants and help her through school.

I want her dreams to become a reality. I want to be there every step of the way, to see her on that red carpet of the movie she makes. The series of horror movies that would have the world in a chokehold.

I want to be that wife, her holding my arm as she waves shyly to the cameras for me to beam down at her in pride.

I would give her everything Stu couldn't and more!

August 13th 1996,

I can't believe Tatum had the nerve to try to give me advice to please Steve in the bedroom! For her information Stu’s so obviously pretending she’s (Y/n) while fucking her brains out. The worst part is everyone knows about Tatum and Stus relationship now, not that they're a fan of it-it's just new gossip.

Apparently (Y/n) didn't like the relationship, that's what Sidney said. But I don't understand why. Everytime Stu gets into a relationship with someone (Y/n) says it's not a good match- or both parties deserve better.

It's almost like she wants him-

(The page was torn off halfway)

August 15th 1996,

(The page is filled with many crossed out words and x’s making it illegible to read) (It was almost as if she couldn't bare to process what she was writing)

August 17th 1996,

I couldn't take it anymore! I had to talk to (Y/n) and make up with her! These past few days of silent treatment were getting to me. Not only has Tatum noticed, but Sidney as well. It was embarrassing to know that her other friends have been asking me what's going on when I've known her for the longest. They don't even care about her as much as I do!

But it's not just my feelings for (Y/n) that have been consuming my thoughts lately. I've been struggling with my sexuality, and it's been eating me up inside. I've never told anyone, not even my best friend, about the way I feel. It's like this big secret that I'm carrying around, and it's starting to feel suffocating.

I know that (Y/n) would never judge me, but the fear of rejection and the unknown terrifies me. What if she doesn't feel the same way? What if she thinks I'm weird or gross? I can't risk losing my best friend, but at the same time, I can't continue living this lie.

The looks that Stu and Billy have been giving me lately only make things worse. It's like they know something about me that I don't even know myself. I feel like a fraud around them, like they're constantly judging me.

I don't know what to do. I'm so confused and scared. All I know is that I can't keep living like this. I need to talk to someone, anyone, about how I'm feeling. But who can I trust? Who can I confide in?

For now, I'll keep my secret to myself and focus on repairing my friendship with (Y/n). But I know that this is something that I need to address eventually.

Of course she was reluctant to talk but I had bribed her to let me in with three packs of her favorite popcorn and of course five packs of licorice. She took the popcorn and candy and allowed me to have an hour to say what I wanted to say before I was asked to leave.

I understand her anger. We've been best friends for years, and I called her such an unforgivable thing because I was jealous of the attention she was giving Stu. I felt terrible, and I told her everything. I apologized and begged for her forgiveness. I could see the pain in her eyes, and I knew I had hurt her deeply. But thankfully, she eventually forgave me, and we hugged it out. It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

But now, I'm left feeling guilty about how I treated (Y/n) and how I let my jealousy get the best of me. I need to work on my insecurities and learn to communicate my feelings better. (Y/n) is my best friend, and I never want to hurt her like that again.

August 31st 1996,

(This entry was ripped out aggressively to what seemed like not too long ago.) (investigators eventually found the entry locked in a secret chest underneath Becker’s bed along with her previous diaries and most treasured items.)

September 8th 1996,

Slowly but steadily I've been getting closer to (Y/n), we've even started making plans on what to do for Halloween! It's her favorite month. All the decorations, costumes, and of course the horror movies. She did seem a bit down today when I mentioned dressing up together as playboy bunny girls, clearly she was expecting something more her speed.

I know-I know what you're thinking. Why would I want to dress up as a playboy bunny costume when (Y/n) clearly wants to dress up as a slasher? Well it's simply because it gives me an excuse to have her wear something revealing all night, and second she's a slasher every single year.

It's time to do something different. No more bloody (Y/n). Instead we'll have a super hot one instead.

In the end she said she would think about it, but with the way she looked over longingly at Stu and Billy; maybe just maybe I should be a slasher with her this year.

September 15th 1996,

Unfortunate change of plans, my parents announced that they were visiting family the week of Halloween. And for once I hated the thought of leaving here without (Y/n) by my side. In the past with her being alone on Halloween always sits wrong with me, and the fact is she wouldn't be alone; Stu and Billy always ended up being there.

Sick? Stu and Billy would come over. Aunt Gia unable to take her to the movies? Mrs. Macher would fill in, Stu dragging (Y/n) to the backseat. If I was out with the other girls dressing girly? Billy would immediately pull out a Micheal Myers mask and a bucket for candy.

I just can never get the timing right on Halloween to be with her. On her favorite holiday.

I might as well push these feelings to the side and let Stu or Billy have her this Halloween. Just like they always do. This time Tatum and Sidney won't be able to deny their boyfriends attraction to (Y/n).

September 19th 1996,

I can't believe I lost my diary for three days! And that's not even the worst part. Tatum was the one who gave it back to me. I was spiraling, hoping that she had some sense and did not read any of it.

Imagining the thought of her reading it sent chills down my spine. Not only would Tatum be out for my blood but (Y/n)s as well; even though the two girls get along fine now- I just know Tatum would immediately flip the script and try to ruin her life.

So what if (Y/n) had feelings for Stu and Billy. She likes Randy now. Even though I’m trying to be the main contender for her love-even I had to face the reality that she wasn't going to go for someone in a relationship. If I was to confess my feelings to her it most definitely would have to be after I dump Steve.

Don't get me wrong, the boy is really nice and sweet. He'd be the perfect boyfriend for me if I wasn't you know ‘a little sparkly’. The sex is good too and he even knows how to communicate well. The only argument we've had thus far was about how much time I've been spending with (Y/n) lately, it resulted in me crying and guilt tripping him.

He was getting a little bit too close to the truth.

But that's not what I'm afraid of. This afternoon I asked Tatum how she found my diary. Turns out she wasn't the one who found it.

It was Stu who had it for the weekend.

September 21st 1996,

Tonight (Y/n) came over to hang out as usual. Soon we were gossiping and talking about others' relationships before it shifted back to mine. (Y/n) apparently don't like how quickly me and Steve got together, and to be honest she was making some good points. Hooking up with boys and then immediately becoming a couple was very misleading and isn't how relationships should be formed.

The conversation got intense however once she suggested we watch a horror movie, we fell back into our normal routine. She did say something that threw me off though. She said if I was in the horror movie I would be the dumb blonde that dies first.

As if! I'm clearly too smart to die in a horror movie! I joked around with her about it and asked if she remembers the promise if I were to die. Of course she remembered but knew she wouldn't have to do it till we were daily older.

To me it doesn't matter how old we get together. She'll always be my everything in my eyes.

I had asked Steve to come over Wednesday to watch a movie, but obviously that's not what we're going to do. That night will be the last time I ever mess around with a boy, and Thursday morning I'll be single and ready to confess to my best friend.

I can only hope she reciprocates my feelings.

☿

August 31st , 1996

Last night was a total nightmare. I don't know who to be more angry at Sidney-or that bitches friend Tatum! We were all invited over (Y/n)’s house to sleepover and have a great time.

Unfortunately things took a twisted turn-

Screams emitted through the TV as the four girls settled across the living room floor. (Y/n) was snuggled up on Casey's side sharing a blanket as Tatum and Sidney were laid across the couch; apparently Tatum valued comfort rather than the floor, but Sidney did remain on the floor laid up against the couch with her sleeping bag.

It was a good thing the movie had subtitles since it was in Japanese; the plot in the movie was about a series of mass murder of teen girls who've all dated the boy. Upon the grand reveal it turns out it was his childhood best friend, her love for him was so obsessive that she resulted in killing all potential suitors for her friend. One might argue it was sick and twisted, but was it so different from many murder cases in the US? Sure some of the scenes were very violent, including the parts on how she disposed of the bodies; however jealousy and obsession can turn deadly quickly if not caught on to.

The alleged ‘final girl’ ran down the school corridor, running into the male protagonist as he tried to calm her down. Her hand was gone, blood practically spraying and pooling along the floor, (Y/n) would have to give it to the directors, the protruding bones look so real.

“All bets in that she's not going to survive,” Casey muttered.

(Y/n) hummed, “Yeah she already lost her virginity, so she already lost in that regard. Not to mention she was seen drinking a few scenes ago.” The two friends had watched so many scary movies at this point that they could predict when someone was going to die, or the ‘twist’ the directors were trying to pull.

The killer rounded the corner, her mouth and face going slack as the male lead and her locked eyes. The boy seemed shocked for a moment before he began to question her on why and how she was doing this. The subtitles were fast but the girls could get the gist of what was being said from the brief words on the screen.

“Wow,” Tatum scoffed, “What a love confession. Someone please kill me if I ever become that desperate over a man.”

“Wait,” Sidney watched as the boy started to step closer, his eyes brimming with tears, “Is he…is he confessing back?! After all the girls he’s slept with and had died due to her, he wants a relationship with her?”

This caught (Y/n)’s attention, she watched how the two childhood friends embraced one another as the other girl cried out to the boy pleading for him to stay-to save her. Only for the male to take the knife from the killer and kill the final girl himself. Something about the scene made it hard to look away.

‘How can someone choose a killer rather than the innocent?’

“He's in love with her,” She muttered, “so much he's willing to kill another innocent person in order for them to be together.” Something fluttered in her heart at the sheer devotion they have towards one another. They way they looked at eachother-no more secrets all the obstacles that were there before have been removed. The two halves of the same whole acn be together at last.

The screen cuts to a house, the childhood friends had gotten married and one would guess moved to another city to leave their choices behind. What caught the afro haired off guard was how happy the couple looked, they had even achieved a loving family; a pair of twins and a four year old boy all sitting at the table sharing grace before credits started to roll.

Casey shifted a bit, “Well, that movie was-,”

“Amazing-,”

“Shit,” Tatum snarled, “How can he want that ugly bitch and kill the good looking one? Isn't this Japanese? Wasn't it the standard to marry for good looking kids and successors?” The girl's attitude threw the other three girls for a loop.

(Y/n) still wanted to argue her point, “I think it's a good film! It's a lot different from the horror movies I usually watch, and I think the fact that the childhood friends got together despite everything was a good twist and satisfying ending.” She got up from Caseys side and went to retrieve the tape and grab another movie, “Here, we can watch a Chick flick next since you didn't like-”

“You think all childhood friends should end up together huh, (Y/n)?”

The girl paused her movements at the question. She didn't understand why the question seemed so-hostile. Casey sat up and shot Tatum a look, clearly disliking where this was going. Sidney on the other hand had a very uncomfortable expression on her face, almost like she was expecting this.

“Well, sometimes yes,” (Y/n) shrugged the stranged feeling off, “Think about it. They’re the ones that know each other most inside and out. Look at most successful marriages for instance-they were either childhood friends or friends and with each other for a long time.” She popped in ‘She’s All That’ before turning to the strawberry blond, “Plus my parents were childhood friends. That's why their marriage was so successful.”

There was an uncomfortable silence in the room.

Something shifted behind Tatum's eyes; malice, spite, fueled by jealousy. “Oh, so you're assuming that Me and Stu’s relationship is going to be temporary since we were not childhood friends?”

(Y/n) made a face at the mention of her friends name, her heart contorted “No! That's not even what I was trying to say-”

“It was implied-”

“Fuck off Tatum,” Casey barked, “The only reason why he’s with you is because your so willing to lay on you back for him.”

They all had to have known it was true. Tatum was so desperate for the boy to acknowledge her since the seventh grade. Going as far to change her style three times before settling on the busty mean girl persona; of course she wasn’t mean all the time-just liked the look.

Other than that Casey wasn't going to let the girl accuse her friend of these things without proof. (Y/n) wasn't the type to go after someone elses’ boyfriend; however with the information the blonde knew about she did feel a bit hypocritical.

Stu wanted (Y/n). Did she know if it was the same the other way around? No. Was she still going to defend her anyway? Absolutely.

Tatum whipped her head over to the other blond practically giving her whiplash. Her face was red now in embarrassment or fury one could barely tell. “Oh! Just like how you were so willing to do that same-,”

“At least I didn’t fuck my friends boyfriend while they were in a committed relationship-”

“It was only two times-”

“Two times too many!” Casey huffed, “Is this what you came here for? To start something with (Y/n) because you know she's the nicest out of the rest of us?”

Tatum rolled her eyes, “You act like she's a newborn, she can defend herself,” She took a swig of her cola before shifting her eyes to her best friend, “Besides I’m not the only one with questions, Sidney does as well.”

(Y/n) zeroed in on Sidney, the girl was fiddling with the sleeve of her sweater. Something about her whole demeanor screams ‘guilty as sin’; as if she just got done something unforgivable. In this case she felt pressured to get to the bottom of why Billy had this slight obsession with the girl in front of her.

Sidney did have a question about Billy and her relationship, and she wanted the girl to be honest about it. She wouldn't be mad if there was something before,but it would mean things between her and her boyfriend would be called into question.

“Y-you have something to ask me Sid?”

Sidney nodded, “Yeah, um I went over Billy’s house the other day, and I saw a lot of things in his room that surprised me is all,” Surprise would be an understatement, her heart felt like it was being ripped into thirds with the items she came in contact with. They haven't been dating for long but she felt like she really liked him, but there's only so much one can take, “You-uh-you guys have a lot of photos with each other. Even with his mom and dad-and uh-Stu was in some of them too..”

She was trying to give a hint to the girl about what she was trying to say. Sidney knew no boys or men who would have that many pictures of a girl visible. Especially in a relationship. It wasn't like it was just on his desk, no-it was all around his house. On the hallway walls, in his dads office-in the kitchen-everywhere. Mr. Loomis almost seemed shocked that Sidney even earned the title ‘Girlfriend’.

‘What happened to (Y/n)?’ Billy’s Father voiced out loud.

Billy stilled for a moment his eyes hazy, ‘(Y/n) has been busy with school lately,”

His father simply cocked an eyebrow and said nothing more. Sidney had never felt more embarrassed and out of place; she knew what the question really meant and what answer Billy’s father was looking for. He wanted to know why (Y/n) wasn't the one at the table with them with the title instead of Sidney.

“So are you asking if I have the same pictures as him?” The girl cut through the silence.

Sidney shook her head, cheeks pink. She didn't know why this was frustrating her-it was just a question. So with a deep breath she ripped off the bandage, “Did you and Billy ever have a secret relationship?”

(Y/n) sputtered as her face grew warm at the question, sure she had secretly entertained the idea of having Billy as a boyfriend but it quickly went out the window once she realized her long term feelings for Stu. It should've been easy to answer back at the question but she was so surprised with the way it was said threw her for a loop.

“No, me and Billy have never had that sort of relationship.” She finally stated.

The brunette didn't seem convinced, “What about the nickname they both gave you. Billy and Stu,” Billy had a habit of calling (Y/n) by her nickname rather than her real name, even in Sidney's presence. It would be different if it was something funny, or a common nickname given among friends, but it was so intimate. And (Y/n) didn't notice it like the other girls did.

Sidney didn't even have an intimate nickname. Billy just called her ‘Sid’ like everyone else.

“What nickname? You mean (N/N)? Billy and Stu haven't called me by that name in years-”

“No! The other one!” Sidney persisted, “The intimate one. You’ve got to remember, Billy calls you it all the time when you're not around-,” The girl paused for a moment, her thoughts sinking in. What if Billy and Stu never said the nickname to the girls face once they got to highschool; it has been a long time since Sidney and Tatum was thrown into the mix in regards to their group. “Did Billy and Stu ever call you anything else in your presence?”

The afro haired paused, thinking it over before answering. There was one nickname Billy and Stu used to call her by sometimes, but it was just while they were watching movies and alone with the three of them. It was around about ninth grade when the nickname was made; Billy insisted that they call her by it.

“Final Girl,”

There was silence again. If there was a way from steam to whistle out of Tatum's ears they all would have heard it.

“Excuse me?” Sidney said, “They call you what?”

(Y/n) bit her lip, “Final girl, Billy insisted I be called that. You know Final girls are the ones that-”

“That’s not the name I was talking about. You mean to tell me you have another one-?”

“Did you fuck Stu instead?” Tatum cut in, “If you couldn't have one friend you might as well go for the other one-”

“Tatum,” Sidney hissed. This wasn't how she wanted to go about doing things. Backing (Y/n) in a corner like this was just bullying her, and if she did have private relationships with either boy it wasn’t for them to know. (Y/n) even had the right to refuse not to answer.

The afro haired girl gripped her band tee in frustration, “I didn’t fuck anyone!” She got up and glared at Tatum in frustration, she didn't understand the girl's deal. She had won already, she had Stu all to herself, “You both have Stu and Billy as your boyfriends and spend so much time with them to the point we three don't hang out as much anymore! When would I have the time to even get the chance to do something like that?”

“Can we just all calm down for a second-,”

“Did you ever have feelings for Stu or Billy?!”

“What does it matter?!” (Y/n) cried, “You have both of them! You won! Tatum you fuck Stu every single day! And Sidney you watch movies with Billy all the time-!” The girl cut off a lump forming in her throat as she could see her favorite boys doing the activities with her friends. Something inside twisted and lurched-her eyes growing warm and sight blurry.

This was all enough for Sidney and Tatum to see the girls true feelings. One felt sympathetic with the reaction, the other on the other hand-.

“I told you!” Tatum pointed, “I knew there was something going on with those three! So how did it feel being Stu and Billy’s whore all throughout ninth grade-” The girl was cut off with a pillow connecting to her head.

Casey loomed over the other girl, her face contorted in rage, “Say that again. I dare you.”

The two other girls stood up immediately with how Casey was standing over Tatum, they knew if a hit landed there was no coming back from this. Also (Y/n) didn't want anyone to be fighting inside her house, her Aunt would have a fit knowing why her living room looked a mess. She would be okay with a bit of fun-not a full out brawl.

(Y/n) sighed sadly, “Tatum, Sid - you guys need to leave.”

A sad solemn look took over Sidney's face at the girl's tone, “Wha - No look I'm sorry can we just pretend this conversation didn't happen?” It was wistful thinking, but she honestly didn't want to leave things this way between everyone. They were supposed to have fun; Sidney wanted to ignore the boy problems for one day and just enjoy the presence of her friends without any problems. (Y/n) didn't deserve to be asked questions that way tonight, especially about the two people she saw as her best friends for the longest time.

“Pretend?” Said Casey, “After the two of you tried jumping down her throat! You want to pretend you didn't do anything?!”

The blonde stormed over to the two sleeping bags grabbing them and rushing back to the front door. Tatum finally got up from the couch in shock, following after the angry girl. Not a single one of them had ever seen Becker this upset, sure she argued and had a sharp tongue but throwing their things outside of the house was way beyond what they could imagine.

“Casey! Are you fuckin crazy-?!”

“For my best friend? Yes!” Casey yelled, “Now are you going to grab your backpack yourself or am I going to have to grab them for you?”

(Y/n) wiped tears from her eyes, “Cas at least let them call their parents-”

“Tatum's house is two blocks away, they can kick rocks.”

It was quick with how the girls left, and the afro haired girl felt a sense of dread with the door closing. It was only when Casey placed a hand on her shoulder did she break down. In some way she blamed herself for them-for their actions and jealousy towards her. She allowed her best friend to guide her towards the couch before she left to get some water and tissues. She stared blankly at the chick flick on the screen, she didn't know why she chose that one.

It was Tatum's favorite. And it was her least favorite.

Casey came back with a glass of water, tissues and a pack of red licorice in her hands, “You okay?” It was a rhetorical question of course, but it was better to ask rather than not asking.

“Would I really be considered a whore if I liked Stu and Billy?” The girl sniffed, “Is it really that bad that I used to have feelings for them? I mean I like Randy now but is it bad that I acknowledge Stu would never look my way because I wasn't enough-”

Casey grabbed the girl's hands, cutting her off , “You are enough. It's their fault they couldn't see that,” She proceeded to wipe the girls cheeks clean of tears, “And in my opinion they've lost the best thing to ever enter their lives. You.”

Silence filled the room for a moment. Nothing could be heard over the girls sniffles and the faint sound of the movie in the background. Casey simply held the girl in her embrace, rubbing up and down her arms in a soothing motion to calm her down.

“Casey,” The girl whispered softly.

“Hmm?”

“If I dont have anyone else, it'll just be me and you right?”

Casey looked down at her friend, a loving smile taking place on her pink lips, “Of Course. We don't need them. It'll just be me and you against the world.” The girl unexpectedly sprung up off the sofa and headed over to the pile of movies, “I think this chick flick isn't our speed! Lets watch another horror movie, any recommendations?”

(Y/n) gave a watery smile, “I got another japanese film we could watch,”

“Cool! Which one is it?” The blonde shuffled through the tapes.

“It's the one with the two bloodied friends on the cover. It's called, ‘Forget Me Not’.”

[allofmylovelove]

@beomgyutie​ was asking me about giffing with topaz and i couldn’t find a tutorial that was similar to how i gif and me being me i decided to be Extra and just make a whole tutorial for it!  tutorial under the cut

things you will need:

photoshop (i’m using photoshop cc 2018, but i’ve used this same/similar process on cs6)

topaz plug ins clean and denoise downloaded and installed

downloaded video to gif in the highest quality you can find

side note:  i’ve seen people say “don’t bother giffing something if it isn’t at least 720p”, but like that isn’t always practical or possible.  so just find the video in the highest quality you can

.ts files are the way to go for giffing live stages!  you can find a really great guide for how to find .ts files here.

one of the main things that determines gif quality is the video quality of what you’re giffing, so it’s important to use the highest definition you can!

if you’re interested in seeing my vapoursynth process you can see it here!  the tutorial i used to learn how to use vapoursynth has been deleted, so if you would like a more detailed explanation let me know!

also i did not include how to add text or how to blur out part of a gif, so send me an ask if you’d like help with it!

all right so here we go:

1.  figure out which part(s) of the video you’d like to gif!  people do this in lots of ways; i usually watch the video through then make notes of what time stamps i want to gif.

2.  open up photoshop and go to file -> import... -> video frames to layers

3.  this window will pop up with your video!  use the little slider things i’ve circled in red to select where you want your gif to start and end.  don’t worry about it being too exact; we’ll narrow it down further in a minute.  make sure that the limit to every x frames box is NOT checked!

4.  it will create a frame animation from the clip you’ve selected.  now you can trim the gif down even further and get the exact moment you’d like to gif by deleting frames from the beginning and/or end of the animation.  i usually aim to have between 60-80 frames in a gif.  keep in mind that bigger gifs mean bigger file sizes, so if you’re going for a big gif it might be best to go with fewer frames.  (ex. if you’re making a gif that’s 540px by 400px, aim for 60 frames to help keep the file size down)

5.  tbh it doesn’t matter when exactly you crop your gif in the process, but i usually crop and resize it at the beginning.  i ended up cropping this gif again at the end too, so it really, truly doesn’t matter when you crop it. 

you’ll also want to make sure your gif fits the current tumblr sizes for photosets which you can find by googling.  the main ones i keep in mind are 540px wide for one gif per row and 268px wide for two gifs per row.  for posting purposes, the height is not as important as the width, so don’t worry too much about the height.

you can crop the gif to whatever looks good to you then go to image -> image size and change it to the appropriate width.  make sure you’ve clicked the little chain/handcuff looking button so your height will also be adjusted to maintain the height to width ratio!

6.  next we’ll need to convert the frames into a smart object in order to sharpen and use topaz.  click on the three bars just above your frame animation to select all frames, and also select all of your layers by using shift + click on the first and last layers (you can see the layers in the bottom right corner of the second image).  you’ll want to make sure every single layer and frame is selected, otherwise part of the gif won’t be converted into a smart object.

7.  convert frame animation to timeline animation by clicking this button i’ve circled in the bottom left corner

you’ll want to make sure the blue play head button thing is at the very beginning of the gif before continuing

8.  click filter -> convert for smart filters and your smart object will be made!

9.  next we’ll use smart sharpen to sharpen the gif.  go to filter -> sharpen -> smart sharpen, and this window will pop up.  these are the settings i use for every gif, unless it is a lower quality video in which case i will turn down the amount percent

10.  now it’s time to use topaz!  i always start with topaz clean for whatever reason, but regardless you’ll go to filter -> topaz labs -> topaz clean.  there are two settings i choose from that i’ve saved as presets.  for this handong gif i chose the first settings.  you can compare the settings with the unedited version by clicking the original button at the top of the preview window.

11.  next up is topaz denoise!  same process as before:  filter -> topaz labs -> topaz denoise.  i always use these settings but adjust the overall strength.  i usually end up somewhere between 0.03 and 0.05.

12.  now we’ll click on the three bar menu again and select convert frames -> flatten frames into clips.  do NOT touch your computer while it’s processing!!  topaz is a finicky creature, and we cannot upset it while it’s working.  there’ll be a progress bar so you can have an idea of how far along it is in the process.  it does take a while, so be patient!

13.  the process of flattening frames back into clips creates an extra layer that we don’t need, so go ahead and delete the layer where you can see all the smart filters we’ve just applied listed.  it will be at the very bottom of the layers list, and also the only one labeled layer (you can see the rest are called frames now) as well as the only one that’s hidden (aka it doesn’t have the little eye icon to the left of its name)

14.  for the moment we’ll still be in timeline animation, so we’ll want to click on the three squares in the lower left corner to go back to frame animation

15.  you should only see one frame in the animation window for now.  click on the three bar menu again and select “make frames from layers” and we’ll have all of the frames we started with back except this time with sharpening and topaz-ing!

16.  using the three bar menu again, you can select all frames then adjust the delay between frames (aka the timing!).  once the frames are selected, click on the little arrow next to the number underneath one of the frames (doesn’t matter which one as long as they’re all selected).  then you can choose a preset time or enter your own.  my gifs are usually 0.04, 0.05, or 0.06.  for this handong gif, i went with 0.05.

17.  now you can add coloring!  i’m not really going to get into how to color, but you can either find psds (aka premade colorings) that creators have shared on tumblr as a starting point or just mess around with different editing layers (like levels, selective color, curves, etc) until you land on something you like.  when coloring while in frame animation make sure you drag the editing layer to the top of the layer list so the coloring is applied to all the frames!

18.  now we can export the gif!  i use save for web and these settings.  sometimes i will change the quality (circled in red) from bicubic smoother to bicubic sharper, but i usually leave it on bicubic smoother

19.  and now you can upload it to tumblr and you’re done!  here’s the final result without text

let me know if you have any questions!

[itsjusthockey]

Now We’re Even - Jack Hughes

Dedicated to 😛, who requested enemies to lovers. I tried my best and I hope you like it. Also, I feel like this blog is starting to become a Jack Hughes fan page (he's not even my face player lol). Anyway, send in requests. Do it. Right now. Or just send in love. I love interacting and want to do it more.

Also thank you for the sweet messages and follows, it means the world and I'm endlessly happy y'all like my writing.

One last thing, do you all like angst? I wrote something that hurt my feelings (in a good way but also not) and wanted to post, but I'm unsure. Let me know.

wc: 2,463 (credit to gif maker) (also please don't steal my work)

———————————————-

The first time Jack Hughes hit you, it was a complete accident. You were walking back to your car from your favorite bagel joint with the best hangover remedy. After a rough night, you had coffee, food, and your phone in hand when all of a sudden, a black Range Rover slowly backs into you and sends you stumbling to the ground, spilling the breakfast you’d just paid twenty bucks for.

You sit there on the dirty ground in shock, not believing that the sausage bagel you were beyond excited to eat was now lying scattered on the tar. You let out a sad sigh, still staring sadly at the bagel and the currently empty coffee cup, when the car is thrown into park, and a rather cute boy, around your age, gets out and rushes toward you.

“Oh my god,” he breathes out. “I’m so sorry. Are you okay? Do you need to go to the hospital?”

You stare up at green eyes that are filled with immense worry and make a little self-diagnosis. Nothing feels like it hurts too bad, so you think the bagel and coffee must’ve taken the blunt force.

“I think I’m okay. My breakfasts not, though.”

The boy follows your stare to the pieces of breakfast scattered around you. He runs his hand over his face and shakes his head, almost in disbelief. He stays there for a moment, seemingly in more shock than you are, when suddenly he pulls himself together and holds out his hand for you to take. You oblige, and he pulls you to your feet, scanning his eyes over your body, looking for any sign of damage.

“I’m so fucking sorry. I wasn’t looking, which I usually do, but I was distracted by my brother texting me, and I-“

“It’s okay,” you interrupt his blubbering, “it might leave a gnarly bruise, but I’m fine.”

Relief rushes through his features when you finish, but then his eyes dart back to your scattered breakfast. “Can I at least rebuy your breakfast?”

You look down at your watch and then at the boy, nodding your head. You were starving, and you had nothing but time. The boy gives you a tight-lipped smile, and you begin following him back into the bagel place. You both notice the awkward silence surrounding you two, but neither of you speaks. In fairness, you both didn’t really know how to act in the situation.

When you enter back in, you quickly tell him your order from earlier and spot a table that you make a beeline toward. He waits in the small line that has formed, and after waiting a few minutes, he’s secured the goods. He saunters back toward you, placing the bag of food and coffee down in front of you.

“There. I also got you a chocolate cookie thing as another apology.”

You give him a small smile. “Thanks.”

You think that would be the end until he sits down, and silence plagues you again. You don’t know what to do when he opens his mouth and tries to make conversation.

“Well, hey, this situation could’ve been worse.” He chuckles lightly. “You could’ve hit me, and that would’ve been a big deal.”

As soon as the words leave his lips, you’re conflicted. You have no idea what he means by that statement. You were sure he didn’t mean it as an insult, but a tiny spark of anger flares in your chest anyway.

“I’m pretty sure it’s bad if you hit anyone with a car. Why would it be worse if I hit you?”

The boy leans back in his chair, his eyes widening slightly in surprise. “Well, um, I’m Jack Hughes.”

You rack your brain and throw him a confused look. Are you supposed to know who the hell he is?

“Okay, why does that matter?”

His surprised expression stays on his face, and he gives you a quick once-over as if he’s trying to see if you were lying about knowing who he is.

“I play hockey.” He states as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

You resist the urge to roll your eyes. “Okay. I play volleyball with my friends sometimes; how does that make it worse if our roles were reversed?”

Jack licks his lips and thinks for two whole seconds about the current conversation, knowing he messed up. You don’t seem very angry, but your voice holds slight irritation.

“I play in the NHL.” He explains. “A lotta people would be pissed if I got hurt.”

You stare blankly at him, trying to decipher if he’s that full of himself or just acting like an asshole. You’re not crazy angry, but a distaste is forming for the boy sitting in front of you, and every time he opens his mouth, it worsens. You contemplate how you should respond. Half of you think you should just leave it and thank him for breakfast, but the other half wants to put the pretty boy in his place. Naturally, the petty side wins.

“Well, I didn’t hit you; you hit me. So, I guess hockey fans everywhere can rejoice that Jack Hanes is safe and sound.”

As you finish, Jack wants to correct you on his last name, but he picks up on the slight venom in your voice, and he realizes that he’s dug himself in a hole by being an ass, and he isn’t sure how to dig himself out. The only thing he can come up with is putting on his charm and hope that you take the bait.

He throws you a smile and leans forward. “Listen, I’m sorry, I’m coming off as an asshole.” He then leans back and plasters on a smirk. “I’m usually pretty good with the ladies, so how about I take you out?”

He throws you a wink across the table, and you’re suddenly happy you didn’t eat because you would have thrown up right there. You know this type of guy, and you hate it. They’re the type that throws the idea of a date and expects you to melt

Also, now you’re rather pissed, and the last thing you want to do is deal with a hockey player who seems to have an ego the size of Michigan.

“I’d rather not. Thanks for the food.”

You grab the bag from the table and walk out without turning around. You’re annoyed with this whole situation. Maybe you’re overreacting, but either way, you don’t care.

You climb into your car and race to your grandparent's lake house. You’re hungry, you’re starting to bruise, and you’re already over this day. When you get home, you heat the cold sandwich and replay the events of earlier, and scoff slightly. It maybe wasn’t the biggest deal in the world, but you were mad, and you hope that you never have to see Jack Hanes again.

**********

Fate wasn’t kind to you, and the second time you got hit by Jack Hughes, you really took it personally. However, this time thankfully, it wasn’t his car.

A few days later, you were standing in a crowded bar close to your grandparent's lake home with some friends visiting from school. The place was packed, far busier than you ever liked it. What was supposed to be a quiet girls' night out had turned wild when endless people began flooding in. All around you, people were packed closely, and you were getting jolted left and right. Normally you would be pissed, but you were feeling good. You have had a few drinks, and your friends are the funniest people in the room.

You’re sipping on whatever drink your friend got you, scanning the bar for prey. Yes, It’s a girl's night, but you all are on the lookout for men. Being summer in Michigan and close to the lake, you’re keenly aware that attractive men surround you. And what’s wrong with wanting a little attention?

Your attention is ripped away from scanning when a body collides with yours and almost sends you flying to the ground. However, before you fall, a set of hands grabs your waist and sets you straight.

It takes a minute for you to register what happened, especially since alcohol is in your system, but once you turn and see who had almost knocked you down, your eyes narrow.

“You.” You hiss.

Jack's eyes widen a bit, and recognition takes over his features.

“You gotta be kidding me.” You speak again, looking down at the hands still steading you.

Jack notices his hand placement and quickly removes them, throwing a semi-shy smile. “We have to stop meeting like this.”

You roll your eyes at the boy in front of you and scoff. “Maybe you should stop hitting me then.”

Jack lets out a snort but then recovers. “I’m sorry about the first time. And I’m sorry again for now. My buddy Trevor gets pretty wild, and I decided to take down whoever was closest to me.”

He points to an attractive blonde hair guy behind him who looks like he’s beyond toasted, so you believe that it wasn’t entirely Jacks's fault.

“I guess you’re forgiven. Just try to stop causing bodily harm toward me; I’d like to live to see thirty.”

Jack cringes when you say bodily harm, and he leans in next to your ear, a question spilling from his mouth without thinking.

“Are you okay?” His voice is soft and laced with concern.

If you weren’t slightly drunk, you would have never done it, but before you stop yourself, you pull the hem of your jeans down and show off your wicked yet small bruise. It looks pretty wild in the bar's dim light; you have to admit.

As Jack's eyes scan over the bruise, his face drops. “Fuck, I’m so sorry.”

As he guiltily speaks, you let a bubbly laugh out.

“Oh my god, don’t worry about it. This is the only evidence, and it doesn’t hurt badly at all.“

He doesn’t seem convinced, so you continue.

“Seriously, Hanes, I’m not gonna sue you. Relax.”

This time Jack lets out a small laugh and does correct you.

“Hughes, my name is Jack Hughes.”

You nod your head and smile. “Ah, Hughes, I like that better.”

You can’t see it, but Jack flushes a shade deeper, and then he remembers he doesn’t even know who you are, and he really, really wants to.

“Well, I’ve tried to kill you twice. Can I know your name?”

You scan him up and down and contemplate but decide to throw him a bone.

“(Y/N) (L/N), I would say nice to meet you, but I could think of a lot nicer ways.”

Jack snorts again and shakes his head. “I am really sorry about hitting you. Twice. And I’m also sorry I came across as an asshole.”

You think back to earlier in the week, and you find yourself nodding. “Yeah, you were, but I’m not holding a grudge. It’s forgotten.”

He nods at your admission and smiles slightly. Then he pauses, the gears turning in his head. He thinks about whether or not what he’s about to do is a good idea, but he decides it is.

“I think I didn’t know how to act because I was super nervous talking to you.”

You narrowed your eyes. “Why?”

He leans closer to you as if he is telling you a secret. “Well, I was having a great day, and suddenly I hit a pretty girl with my car. Then I act like an ass, and you put me in my place.”

You pull back a bit to look at him as he continues.

“And I found that really, really hot.”

You shove him away from you as he finishes.

“You’re so full of it.”

He puts his hand up in mock hurt, but you can see the sincerity behind his eyes as he talks.

“I’m not kidding; I wanted your number the second I saw you sitting surrounded by spilled coffee and a breakfast sandwich. But I got nervous, and then I wasn’t thinking and said something stupid, and then you were gone.” He pauses. “Now you’re here, and I kinda feel like this is a second chance.”

You give him a hard once over, deciding if this is worth your time. He is very good-looking, apparently not that big of an asshole, and needs a driving lesson, but he seems genuine.

“Fine, you can have my number. But only if you introduce my best friend to your friend over there. She’s really into blondes.”

A huge smile breaks across his face, and he pulls out his phone. You grab it and begin typing away when he throws one last remark toward you.

“Hey, at least we will have a good story to tell people about how we met.”

(Bonus - Three Months Later)

“Jack, stop. This is stupid.” He waves you off as he continues tightening his helmet and hockey pads.

Once he finishes, he stands directly in from of his Range Rover.

“It’s totally safe, and I believe in an eye for an eye. So get in the car and back into me.”

You roll your eyes at your boyfriend and shake your head. “Jack, I’m not going to hit you with your car.”

He gives you an exasperated look, gesturing back to his gear. “You didn’t have padding, so you should feel better knowing I won’t get hurt. Come on.”

He throws you the keys, but you keep your feet planted in front of you.

“Jack. I’m not going to hit my boyfriend, who has a hockey season coming up with his car.”

“Then just gently back into me; it’s only fair.”

You really don’t think you’re going to win this, so you huff and find yourself climbing into the driver's seat.

You take a minute, hoping he’ll think better, but he doesn’t remove himself. You know how stubborn your boyfriend is, and you know he won’t let this go until you do it. So, you throw the car in reverse and gently back into him.

You feel the car make contact and see Jack stumble back. You can’t help but laugh and throw the vehicle and park and jump out.

He is sitting on the ground, smirking up at you. “There, was that so hard?”

You roll your eyes. “Maybe I should hit you again, smack the attitude out.”

He grins at your statement, and you pull him to his feet. He leans down then and connects your lips with a sweet kiss that has you smiling.

You think maybe he was right; now you’re even. At least until the next time.

Thanks for reading, I love you.

[londonalozzy]

Stop Pretending (TFATWS)

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Genre: Romance, Angst

Summary: The reader thinks she's doing a stellar job of keeping her feelings for a certain soldier buried deep inside. Turns out, all it takes is an observant new friend to begin the unraveling of her most precious secret (Spoilers for TFATWS)

Masterlist

Word: Pretence

Definition: A way of acting that is intended to deceive people.

Example: Saying that he's just a friend when he's really the love of your life.

Your POV

Being caught in the midst of war is something that I, (Y/N) (Y/L/N)  know all too well. As a war vet, former shield agent, and now Avenger I'm used to being centered amongst conflict. When the fight begins within me though, a battle between what I want and what I think is right, how will I react? Will I listen to my heart, my head, or will the winner be chosen for me?

Delacroix, Louisiana.....

I love my sleep, always have, always will. It's not necessarily the comfort of the bed, the quiet or even the rest. It's the fact that I'm at peace when I sleep. My life has a tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, so anything that will put that off for as long as possible I savor.

I wish it were the same for a certain super soldier in my life. I look forward to going to bed, everything calms down then, and for most people it's the same. For Bucky however, it's when everything starts, the nightmares, the terrors, the seemingly unending darkness. If only I could take his pain away like he has with mine.

For the last few weeks, my life had, for want of a better word, been hectic. Hectic to say the least.

After the eventual defeat of Thanos and the loses we endured as a result, I thought naively that life might calm down a bit, that I'd have time to breathe, to live. How wrong I was.

It all began with John Walker being announced to the world as the new Captain America.

I was baking cookies with Morgan in the Stark family kitchen when it came over the radio. As that latest turn of events sunk in, my first thoughts were of Bucky, what that would do to him. Not even an hour later I had said my goodbyes and was on my way to help him get the shield back.

Since then even more had happened. We'd regrouped with Sam, busted Zemo out of prison which in turn ruffled the feathers of Ayo and the Dora Milaje. We came face to face with Morgenthou and the Flag Smashers, and finally witnessed the man who thought he could even compete with Steve, make himself judge, jury and most significantly executioner.

After that went around the world we knew we had to end it sooner rather than later. It couldn't get much worse than Captain America becoming a murderer. We got the shield back, which was a fight all in itself. Handed Zemo over to Ayo, to try and recompense for the distrust we'd instilled in the people who'd helped us so much. Then we travelled to stay with Sam and his family in Louisiana whilst we waited for Karli's next move.

This is where we found ourselves now, in the eye of it, the calm before the storm.

Waking up in the Wilson households guest room, I was greeted to the golden hue of the rising sun penetrating through the single glaze windows, and the melodic sounds of gulls on the hunt for their morning meal down by the docks.

Actually, no that's not right. What I could hear was most certainly not birds, and it was definitely not melodic. What were those boys doing?

Quickly and quietly I threw on the first clothes I could get my hands on and made my way downstairs towards the noise. What caught my attention when I discovered the source, was not the two youngest Wilson boys playing with our newly reacquired shield in the living room, but the super solider who was blissfully ignorant to it all, sleeping peacefully on the couch in front of them. I don't think I'd ever been so happy.

"Right you two, if you're determined to play Avengers all morning then I suggest you re-assemble in the back yard. You're gonna wake Bucky up," I whispered out in one breath, stepping between the boys, then placing my hands on their backs and tip toeing them towards the door.

"So what if we wake him up? It's gone 10am," Cass questioned in protest, pulling on his sneakers and jacket.

"Exactly! Which is why if you do as I say, I will make you the biggest plate of waffles for breakfast that you've ever seen."

The boys eyes lit up. "Can we have ice cream with it? Mum never lets us have ice cream for breakfast, and I'm sure there's a tub of Stark raving hazelnuts in the freezer," AJ clapped in muted excitement. "Oh, for God's sake.....Yes. You can have whatever you want if you get out of this house now and keep the noise down."

Once the boys were outside, I made my way over to the kitchen, stopping on the way to lean over my favourite senior citizen and make sure that he was still peaceful in his slumber. He'd never looked so relaxed, so at ease. It was a brand new Bucky I'd never seen before, a Bucky that had my heart pounding for him even more than it normally did. Not that he knew any of that.

Half an hour later and up to my elbows in waffle mix, I failed to notice my new friend and host Sarah making her way to my side at the counter, the huge smile on my face not going unnoticed. "What's got you grinning like the Cheshire cat, like I need to ask?"

"Bucky's sleeping. Isn't it amazing?" I spoke softly, bouncing up and down on my feet as I did so.

"And why is that?" She couldn't looked more confused if she tried.

"In all the years I've known him, I don't think I've ever woken up before he has. If his nightmares don't keep him awake all night, they normally have him up before the crack of dawn. I don't think I've ever seen him so still."

"Good answer," Sarah nodded in a hush, understanding why this meant so much to me, but not done yet with her morning interrogations, "Now on to my next question......"

"I'm already not liking the sound of this."

"Sleeping Beauty over there follows you around like a little puppy dog. He hangs on your every word, looks at you like you hung the stars or something. It's pretty obvious how crazy he is about you, so when are you gonna stop pretending that you're not head over heels in love with him?"

"I don't know what you're talking about Wilson," I smiled forcefully, making out like the waffle maker deserved my attention way more than the conversation I was being made to have.

This was all Sam's doing, without a shadow of a doubt. He'd tried to have this conversation with me on multiple occasions and I shut him down every time. He obviously hadn't given up like I thought he did, and decided to draft in his sister. He is seriously gonna regret it when I find him.

"Sure you know what I'm talking about. Sam sees it, I don't even know you that well and I see it. The only reason Bucky doesn't, is because he doesn't believe he could ever be that lucky. You're a smitten kitten." These Wilson's are all as annoying as each other.

Knowing I wasn't getting out of this one, I grabbed Sarah by the arm and pulled her right into the corner of the room, trying my best to keep this convo as private as possible. "Look, I'm not pretending.....I'm ignoring. There's a difference."

"Care to explain what that difference is?" Sarah spoke softly, but with a sarcastic air.

Turning to look over my shoulder at the subject of our conversation, making sure he was still safely in the land of nod, I decided to just be honest. Sarah was much like her brother. Once she wanted to get to the bottom of something she wasn't about to give up.

"I love Bucky, more than I've ever loved anyone...and that terrifies me," the rawness of finally being honest making my voice shake, and tears come to my eyes. "Nat was like my sister, and she's dead. Tony was the closest I've ever gotten to having a Dad...and he's dead too. Then there's Steve, Vision, God knows where Wanda is....Everyone I love, either leaves or dies. If I admit my feelings for Buck then I face the risk of losing him too."

"Do you have any idea how crazy you sound right now? He's not going to die because you love him (Y/N)."

Silent tears were falling now. I was revealing my deepest fears to a woman I'd only known a few days, and I'm not underplaying it when I say it was like a colossal weight off my chest, a release I didn't know I needed. "Believe me...I know, but I can't take that risk. I can't lose anyone else, especially not him."

"Let's just say for a second that you're right, that there is some higher power somewhere, set on destroying everyone you love. Do you really think ignoring your feelings is going to make them disappear?" I didn't know what to say to that. "Natasha and Stark died so that everyone could continue living, and (Y/N) you're not living as long as you keep this to yourself. They wouldn't want that for you."

"But what if I lose him?" I whispered with a choked sigh.

"Then at least he'll die knowing how you felt about him. After everything he's been through don't you think he deserves to know there's someone out there who loves him like you do?"

"Of course..."

Sarah's lips pulled upwards in a satisfied smirk, wrapping her arm around my shoulder and giving it a comforting squeeze, "then you owe it to yourself, and to him, to tell him the truth."

"Why do all you Wilson's have to be so clever?" I voiced in mock irritation, pushing her away from me and acting like I was annoyed she had gotten one up on me.

"I don't know," she thought aloud and with a cheeky grin, grabbing a plate to start piling on the long forgotten waffles, "I think it might be the sea air or something."

"Nah, it's in the genes," I chuckled quietly, grabbing my jacket and deciding it was time to get this conversation wrapped up. "I'll go find Sam and the boys for breakfast. Clear my head a little bit."

"You promise you're gonna tell him?" Sarah stopped me as I went to push the door open.

"I'll think about it."

3rd person POV

Once (Y/N) was out of ear shot, Sarah couldn't help but start jumping up and down in excitement, clapping her hands loudly as she did so. That went even better than she thought it would, and she was so proud of herself. Sarah Wilson could now add matchmaker to her resume.

"Coast is clear Barnes. You can open your eyes now."

(Y/N) had no idea what she had metaphorically walked into just minutes earlier, entering that very revealing conversation with her overly inquisitive host.

What drew Sarah to come down that morning was the sounds of both the front porch door opening and the smell of homemade waffles wafting up the stairs. As she entered the kitchen she was met with two sights. One being (Y/N), facing the counter and looking very smiley, the other being a wide awake super soldier who was just laying on the couch and staring at her, the sole object of his affection. Sarah could work with this.

Every time (Y/N) turned back in his direction, Bucky would close his eyes and pretend to be asleep again. He had never slept so soundly, so peacefully, thoughts of (Y/N) and his new friends filling his nightmare free dreams.

He'd initially woken to (Y/N) ushering the boys outside because she was afraid they would wake him up. He didn't want to disappoint her by proving her right. Besides, he liked just watching her move around the kitchen, completely unaware he was observing her the whole time. He had no idea about the conversation that was just about to happen.

After (Y/N) had left and Sarah had confirmed so, Bucky sat himself up, his body shaking with adrenaline and a look of complete shock fixed on his face. Had he definitely woken up, or had the whole thing been a part of his dream? Did (Y/N) seriously just admit that she was in love with him?

Bucky didn't know how to react, didn't know what to say as he looked up at a smug Sarah from his spot. All he'd ever wanted was for (Y/N) to feel the same way about him as he did about her. Now he knew that she did.

"You're welcome by the way."

[lovelyladyabsinthewrites]

MASTER

Pairing(s): Eddie Munson x Reader

Warnings: none really, more so self indulgent, this is my first time writing for Eddie so I hope I did him justice

Words: 2411

Summary: like many of you I was very upset at what they did to Eddie. So I'm changing the script to the fate he deserved

Thunder crackled through the Upside Down’s dark sky, streaks of red lightening broke through the dancing particles that filed the air.

Anxiety racked its claws against the inside of your stomach knowing that this could possibly be the place where you meet your maker. You’d thought about your own death before, but never imagined such a hell to be your final resting place. Truth be told, you wanted to run, desert your friends and climb back through the portal in Eddie’s trailer.

Fingers sweat profusely around the megaphone’s handle. You wouldn’t abandon them. Not when Dustin and Eddie wait behind you. Eddie’s beloved guitar had transcended realms and was idly being tuned. Your trio hadn’t received the signal to move onto Phase 3. Was Max okay? She must have been more terrified than anyone. The only one to escape Vecna’s grasp, undoubtedly the monster would not want to let her live. He wouldn't’ accept any survivors so Max offered herself up as bait. Truly for someone so young she was even braver than you. So you’d stand your ground alongside your fellow Hellfire members.

Your free hand, having been gripping the hem of your filthy DND shirt was coaxed free by a ringed one. Startled, you relax when you meet Eddie’s dark, sweet eyes regarding you with concern.

Gulping back the lump in your throat, you offer him a strained smile. “This place should be the cover of a metal band.”

“Maybe if we survive this it can be Corroded Coffin’s first album cover.” Eddie’s tone, always jovial, was tight with stress. Finished tuning his guitar, it was now strung on his back until further notice.

Greatly appreciating his attempt to lighten the mood, you were happy that even though you were up against the nightmare creatures of the Upside Down, at least you had Eddie. Sweet, goofy Eddie who always made you laugh. Someone who filled your equally dreary days living at the same trailer park with headbanging music and good times. Since his uncle often worked night shifts and your own parents fucked off to god knows where, you kept one another company. Watching movies way into the night and plenty of weed when you really wanted to party. The two of you would order pizza, consuming copious amounts of junk food all through the night.

And you may have been young, but you were pretty sure he was the goddamn love of your life. Every time he smiled made you melt. Feeling akin to being breathless even. 

“What song are you going to play?” You ask while still watching the crackling of the sky. 

“Oh, (y/n), you know me better than that. I like to surprise you.” Now his face brightened a little as did your own. Eddie’s surprises were the best.

“Well, Mr. Munson, I’m sure it will be your best concert yet.” Chuckling, you’re now able to turn your face away from above and to Eddie. “And I’m happy to be here as your biggest fan.”

Not many could make Eddie utterly speechless. He was always quick with snarky quips but not this time. His eyes widen and mouth goes slack before he shyly smiles, his inner softness gleaming. For a moment, silence lulls between you staring at each other. 

“You know how much I love you, right?”

Your face burned and a silly, adoration filled grin breaks out across your lips. Oh how he had your heart irrevocably. You wanted to kiss him. “I know.”

“Since the first day you moved in.” Eddie doesn’t glance away from you at this admission. 

“Really? My face was covered in zits. I couldn’t have been cute.” You chuckle, remembering the day vaguely. Had it really been that long ago?

“See, that’s where we disagree. I thought you were the most stunning creature in the entire world.” 

Okay, you were definitely going to kiss him now with the gloomy sky as an epic backdrop. You even stood closer to him, your hand on his chest as he looked down at you.

“Guys!” Dustin snaps you out of the moment, reality sneaking back to your senses. “They’re initiating Phase 3. We’re up!”

There was no time for kisses.

Taking a deep breath to move you forward, the three of you scramble on top of Eddie’s trailer where large speakers were affixed to the roof. 

Like the loyal fan you were, you lift your arm with the megaphone to introduce Eddie Fucking Munson Live from the Upside Down. Your voice shot through the forlorn trailer park with the help of the audio projector in your hand. The demobats were in for a treat as immediately after the first few bars to Metallica’s ‘Master of Puppets’ came blasting from Eddie’s prized guitar.

You and Dustin stood back to let the true star take center stage. A dire situation it may have been, Dustin smiled and nodded his head forward in a small headbanging manner.

As much as you enjoyed the show he put on, you were silently praying that Nancy, Steve and Robin got to Vecna in time. There was no telling how many demobats there would be this time. What would you do if there were just too many crashing down on you all at once? You had seen what they did to Steve.

With his trailer fortified, you pondered if that would be enough to stop them. 

‘C’mon you guys. Now’s your chance to end this.’

You lean over to pick up your crudely made makeshift weapons and spiked shield.

In the distance, the red streaks offering up the silhouette of a thick cloud of hundreds of beating wings. They were coming and fast. You tried your best not to let panic freeze you completely. Like Eddie and Dustin, you wanted to be brave. None of you looked like heroes, that was too aspirational. Not with your worn out chucks or chipped, black nail polish.

But you would try your damn hardest to keep those demonic monstrosities distracted until Nancy or whoever destroyed Vecna.

Eddie continued to shred on his axe, fingers most likely bleeding from the intensity of the chords. If you survived, you would have to commend him for how quickly he mastered such a beast of a song. Two weeks since the release of it; that’s how long it had been and how long Eddie had been painstakingly practicing those brutal riffs. Slow in the beginning, you had watched in admiration as he diligently kept at it without giving up or being discouraged. 

Who knew it would be used for something like this with such an epic background.

Gauging their distance through his binoculars, Dustin loudly informs “We gotta lockdown in T-minus thirty seconds!”

Thirty seconds.

You gripped your spear and shield close to you now, legs prepared for action, If your weapons failed, you had one last thing waiting in your backpack for only when things went tits up on this plan. 

Eddie picked up speed as the count down came to twenty seconds, then ten seconds until those demon bats descended upon you. Ungodly screeches now assaulted your eardrums more than his guitar did.

When they appeared above, ready to descend, that’s when you, Eddie and Dustin hurried off the trailer’s roof and inside.

The three of you stare at the front door, anxiously awaiting for any attempt of infiltration. Soon loud bangs and the screech of sharp nails against metal rocked the trailer. Out of instinct you draw yourself closer to Eddie who puts a protective arm in front of you, the same way he did when he was forced to brake too hard in his van. Knowing it wouldn’t do much in an actual accident, but it was the thought that counted. He instinctively tried to protect you.

You involuntarily shudder as demobats threw themselves against the trailer. The window panes vibrate violently and you fear those would break in no time. 

It’s above you that should have concerned you more.From an open vent on the roof, a demobat comes crashing through. You and Dustin shriek, viciously stabbing at the creature with your spears until it moved no more. But now there was an opening that had to be barricaded quickly. Eddie moves the two of you aside since he was the tallest and could easily cover the vent using his garbage can lid shield.

Only a mere band-aid, you hear the demobats move along the vents to where Eddie’s room was located. You scramble over, catching sight of leathery wings before slamming his bedroom door shut. 

More time. They need more time but our’s is running out. 

Helplessly you gaze at young Dustin who was eyeing the rope that would save you, sending you back to your usual Hawkins. He’s prepared to bolt and you didn’t blame him. In fact you hoped he would climb up there. He was too young to be constantly facing death and too sweet. 

Forgetting about the importance of keeping the demobats distracted, Dustin indeed starts to worm his way up the rope made by bed sheets. There was no way you could stay in the trailer. Those demons would break in within minutes.

Your own hand grips the rope momentarily, staring up at the whole where Dustin was urging you to come up. 

“Hurry up (y/n)!” Eddie yells at you when he finds you paused. 

“Our mission isn’t done yet.” You whisper, it almost went unheard from the banging going on in the vents and at the windows. Turning to Eddie, your fear was gone. Dustin was safe at least. “Our mission isn’t done yet!”

His expression was frantic but he registers what you mean. 

“And before you even try to argue with me, I’m staying here to follow through.” 

 The lines on his face smooth over as he takes his place beside you, his knife already in hand. “No running?”

Neither of you were heroes. You felt it intensely when Eddie’s dark eyes widen with unrestrained fear. Even so, Eddie holds up his weapons, prepared to run out alongside you. 

“No running.”

Despite Dustin’s screams to stop, Eddie cuts the rope that would prevent your safe escape while you push the mattress you used as a soft landing away. Taking a quick breath, you and Eddie charge out of the trailer; shouldering your way out the front door before hopping onto his bike.  

You turn around slightly enough to watch the thick swarm realize you and Eddie were on the run. It hadn’t taken them long and they made fast work to catch up.

Putting enough distance between a safe Dustin and Vecna’s guard bats, both of you ditch Eddie’s bike; hoofing it to a small open field that the local kids sometimes used as a kickball area. Backs to each other and shields raised, your spears jutted out. You felt Eddie bump into your backpack in a way to tighten what defense you had.

Eardrums were pierced when the unholy screeching arrived. A barrage of them flitting by, the storm of wings recongregated and finally descended upon you and Eddie. You start stabbing anytime you see a black smudge. Vision was blotted by snapping teeth and grotesque features, all the shrieking made you deaf.

Too many. 

Way too many to the point you and Eddie are forced onto your knees when they pelted down on you ruthlessly. You felt their claws break through every so often, cutting up your face and arms.

There was no better time to use your secret weapon. With great effort while keeping your shield up, your hand drops your spear as it struggles to move your backpack from your back and to your front. Frenzied fingers slip on the zipper tag before you rip it open.

Now you had to discard your shield as well.

“What are you doing?!!” You hear Eddie scream from among the horde of demonic bats.

You didn’t have to tell him anything. One hand on a can of hairspray and the other wielding a lighter, your grimy thumb holds down the nozzle of the hairspray while the other rolls the spark wheel down into the ignition button inside the lighter.

Bright flames of orange, yellow and red ignite and swallow the demobats closest to you. Their death shrieks was music to your ears as you saw the others flutter furiously before trying to take on the flame itself. It was futile. You had them now. Growing bolder, you stand on your feet and scream obscenities at the; taking great joy in seeing their wings disintegrate from the flames. You would thank Nancy later. It was Nancy who had let slip a very important fact about the creatures of the Upside Down; that their greatest weakness was fire. Why your group hadn’t purchased flame throwers or anything similar was beyond you. But you made do with what resources you had. And that was your trusty lighter and Steve’s hairspray which you had pilfered when he wasn’t looking. 

Even Eddie was able to stand to his full height and watch in awe. “You couldn’t have told me you had something up your sleeve?”

You must have been smiling like a madman. “Then it wouldn’t be a surprise.”

The two of you stood there until the swarm above was eradicated. Smoked remains of your winged enemies dropped like flies onto the earth until finally there was silence and calm.

Weary, you drop both hairspray can and lighter and fall into Eddie’s waiting arms. He kisses the top of your head, thumb smoothing a cut on your cheek. “I can’t believe it. . . We’re actually alive. . .”

“Eh, I knew we would survive.” Faux smugness enters your voice. “We had to so I could kiss you. No kisses for the dead.”

Eddie laughs and as your reward he does indeed bestow you with his lips, although their dry and cracked it was the best kiss of your life.

In the distance you hear Dustin’s shouting.

You pull out of Eddie’s arms and squint. “Is that. . . Dustin? I thought we cut the rope!”

“Damnit Dustin!” Eddie shouts. 

From his stumbling figure that got closer, you deduced he must have injured his leg from the fall back to the Upside Down. 

You roll your eyes and follow Eddie.

“Y-You’re alive! Oh thank god!!” Dustin cries both in pain and relief.

“This is why we left you there! So you wouldn’t get hurt. Now look at you!” Halfheartedly you scold him but it touched you that Dustin was willing to hurt himself to make sure you and Eddie were okay.

Eddie helps Dustin back to the trailer but you lingered behind. Looking back to where you almost did die. Past the trees that surrounded the haunted trailer park, you knew Steve, Nancy and Robin were proceeding to their own mission. 

“Give him hell, you guys.”

[euphoriclove777]

My Girl

Hello cuties!!! So you asked for more Fezco and I'm gonna give it to you. This one is actually a dream I had and its inspired by the song My Girl by The Temptations. I really hope you like it! And as per usual my love, give me some feedback in the comments and leave some requests! I really hope you like this one :) ALSO: If you'd li km e to get tagged in these, comment or leave an ask to let me know so you can stay updated whenever I post :D

Warnings: mention of guns, a bit of cussing, some blood/injuries, and PURE FLUFF

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I've got sunshine, on a cloudy day

You covered Fezs eyes as you led him to the kitchen.

"Almost there baby just a few more steps!" you said giggling softly.

"It'd better not be a huge mess babe...with that glitter and shit you put on your eyes? I found that on me when I was making a deal, not cool." He said laughing as he spoke, holding his hands out in front of him clueless as to where he was going.

"Oh hush Fez!" You said with a bit of embarrassment in your voice. "Okay you can sit down."

He sat down hesitantly, putting his hands over yours, rubbing them softly. You giggled at the small affection, something he did often when he was anxious.

"Okay I'm removing it on three.....one...two...three!" You removed your hands revealing to him a beautifully decorated kitchen. Red and orange tassles hung from the walls, balloons almost everywhere. You had one a red party hat with the words Happy Birthday written in white cursive on it, much like everyone else. Rue, Jules, Lexi, Cassie, McKay, and Ashtray sat around the dinner table sporting the same look, except Ashtray had a red noise maker in his mouth which he blew once you removed your hands.

"Happy Birthday Bro! I hope y'all bitches can sing. One, Two, Three! Happy Birthday To You...." he said as they all sang happy birthday to Fezco who was in awe of the entire situation. He looked almost as if he was going to cry. No one had ever remembered his birthday before, let alone threw a party. He grabbed your hand and held it in his giving it a squeeze.

You touched his back and rubbed it softly. "Make a wish baby"

Fez looked at you with so much love in his eyes and smiled, blowing out the candles.

When it's cold outside I've got the month of May

You sat next to Fez with your legs on his lap.

"Listen man, I don't want that shit in this neighborhood. I got nieces and nephews that live out here. I don't want them getting fucked up." He said with a calm yet distressed voice.

His hand was on your thigh, holding onto it as a form of security. Fez had on a 90s type grandpa sweater with jeans.

You smiled at him softly and looked at Mouse, waiting for his response.

"Look man, this is business. So unless you got a way to pay, you're gonna fucking sell it. Got that?" Mouse said with a smirk on his face looking at you. "Mmm what about this pretty baby. She's good enough payment."

Mouse stood up and walked over to you, touching your face.

Fez stood up abruptly and pulled a gun from its hiding place.

"Yo get the fuck off of my girl man. Don't fucking touch her." He said sternly with anger in his eyes.

Mouse put up both of his hands. "Chill out, chill out."

"Nah man! Cause I don't think you fucking get it! Stay the fuck away from My Girl and this fucking neighborhood! I don't want these fucking drugs in here man! We good?!" Fez shouted angrily, still with the gun against Mouse's head. You jumped slightly, startled at how angry he'd become.

Mouse nodded his head yes and backed up slowly, leaving the regular amount of stock on the coffee table. "She must be real special cuz all these years I ain't ever seen you this worked up before." Mouse said slowly. He looked at you and smiled "I got a girl at home who does the same thing to me that you do to him. Make sure he takes real good care of you or Mousey will get him."

You nodded slowly and looked at Fezco, still holding up the gun. When Mouse and his crew filed out the house you stood up slowly and hugged Fez from behind. "Baby... they're gone....you can relax...."

He slowly put down the gun and set it on the coffee table. He pulled you in and kissed you hard with passion.

The kiss startled you initially but you wrapped your arms around your neck kissing him back

Well I guess you'd say, What can make me feel this way?

"My Girl" Fez said softly against your lips. "What?" You said with a giggle. You looked into his eyes.

He picked you up, wrapping your legs around his waist. "Talkin' bout my girl" he said looking at you again and smiled, peppering you with kisses and taking you into the bedroom. Your laugh echoed throughout the house.

I've got so much honey the bees envy me. I've got a sweeter song than the birds in the trees

You walked into the gas station with a white sundress on and a basket in your hand, smiling. You knocked on Ashes freezer and he opened it quickly.

A smile spread on his face. "Does my nose deceive me or do I smell those bombass brownies?" He said excitedly. "Yep! Make sure you share with Fez." You said laughing with him. "Where is he anyways?"

"He should be out back" Ash said in between chews. You nodded and smiled, walking to the back if the gas station. You held a brownie on a napkin in your hand and approached Fez wearing a wife beater and jeans, covered in oil and grime from the car he was fixing up.

"Special Delivery for the best man in the world!" You said beaming at him. Fez looked at you with admiration and wiped off his hands on a towel. He walked to where you were standing and held you by the waist.

"Is it one of those kisses I crave?" He said smirking. "Mmm I think it's something you've been missing...." you said, handing him the napkin with the brownie. Fez's eyes widened and instantly he turned into a little kid. He had a smile from ear to ear, biting into the brownie with crumbs on his face.

"Y/N baby you're an angel!! You've blessed me with these delicious brownies!" He said excitedly. You laughed and kissed some of the icing and crumbs off of his face.

He picked you up and wiped his face all over yours. Youboth stood there being a laughing mess with brownie all over you.

Well I guess you'd say, what can make me feel this way? My Girl, Talkin' bout My Girl

"Fez! I'm home!" You said, putting the keys in the blue key dish that remained on the kitchen counter. You put down your purse and put groceries on the table. You grabbed a fresh dish towel to wipe down the counter but quickly stopped as you heard a groan of pain sound from the hallway.

Your ears perked up and anxiety immediately rushed into your heart as you held onto the dish towel tightly. "Fez....?"

You walked slowly into the hallway to see him laying there, his eye swollen and lip busted. You ran to him and sat by his side. "Fez?! What happened?" You said as you elevated him up into your lap.

He groaned again, frustrated that he couldn't speak properly. "He...he came looking for you. But I...I stopped him...I tried".

Tears filled your eyes as you pulled up his shirt slowly to reveal bruises all over Fez's stomach.

"Who baby?" You said sniffing and dabbing at his mouth lightly, cleaning up the blood.

"Nate....he wanted to get back at me....but he won't be back ever...ever again...nobody touches my girl..."

A tear spilled out of your eye and onto Fezs cheek. He slowly reached up to you and wiped your face.

"Don't cry, imma be okay....we're gonna be okay..." he said smiling softly, holding onto you. "As long as I've got you...."

You awoke and felt the bed next to you. "Mmmmm...Fezzzzz" you said with a yawn, you opened your eyes and wiped them and sat up.

"I don't need no money, fortune or fame...." Fez said on his knees holding your hand and kissing it.

You looked down at him on the ground. "Fez baby what're you doing?" You said, adjusting your eyes to look at him.

"In this light you look like an angel...a queen....after what happened last week with the whole Nate situation I realized something.." he said with a bit of nervousness in his voice.

"What'd you realize?" You said, putting your hand on his cheek, lightly running your thumb over the faded yellow green bruise on his cheek.

"I've got all the riches baby, one man can claim" he said.

I guess you'd say

You laughed softly "What can make you feel this way?"

"My girl" he said smiling "talkin' bout my girl....will you marry me Y/N?" He got on one knee and reached into his pocket, pulling out a red velvet box and opening it slowly.

Tears welled up in your eyes and you nodded lost for words.

"Yes?" He said.

"YES!!!"