#i'm not sure where the winger came from lol
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thanks for the tag @whatssocivilboutwaranyway gonna start a new one cuz it was getting long lol
Rules: you can tell a lot about a person by the music they listen to. Put your mp3 player, iTunes, Spotify, etc. on shuffle and list the first 10 songs and then tag 10 people. Rules: No Skipping!
(i'm shuffling a few daily mixes because i don't like songs on spotify)
photograph - def leppard
is this love - whitesnake
locomotive breath - w.a.s.p.
i want a woman - ratt
one more reason - l.a. guns
miles away - winger
sweet little sister - skid row
only the young - journey
down incognito - winger
burning like a flame - dokken
no pressure tags to @lord-of-the-weird @only-a-heartbeat-away @greeneyezblackheart @dreamcastgirl99 @amiscreations and whoever else wants to
#i'm not sure where the winger came from lol#btw if anyone else wants to be tagged in stuff lmk#or if you don't want to be also lmk lol#tag games
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Hi hi! It's ya girrrlll
So I read your rant (delightful BTW, I'm a nosey hater at heart lol) and am here to ramble too! :3
Firstly though, I'm really sorry for the situation you're in and hope it gets better. I'm lucky enough to have an accepting family (my parents and sister at the very least) and to have recently moved to western Europe where it's pretty progressive(?) in terms of lgbt stuff (ignore the fascists and right wingers behind me trying to access the governments), but I can imagine how isolating your experiences might feel. Hang in there, there are better things in store, I'm sure!
Now for the rest of your rant, I found that you've raised some interesting points, notably about how amabs can easily take on the lesbian label while some afabs have yet to claim it for themselves due to the homophobia they mightve endured and amabs probably haven't thus far (they probably dealt with transphobia as transfems, which I'm not gonna diminish no matter my views on transgenderism, but they probably haven't really dealt with lesbo/homophobia especially if they're pre-transition). Afterall, lesbian transfems were probably straight guys before, and their orientation is sure as hell not condemned by the wider society.
It kind of reminds me of this one lesbian transgirl ik who I met on a server on discord and formed a group of online friends there which included her. I knew her before she came out/identified as trans and I remember at that time she'd sometimes mention how she'd listen to lewd asmr of girls and such. She also talked about how she wished she was lesbian. So I, being the lesbian debator I am, basically said that that's not a great thing to say (I refrained from saying it sounds fetishy), but she replied with basically saying that I don't understand and that lesbian love or whatever is so "pure" unlike hetero love or something. So guess how I felt when she started identifying as a lesbian trans girl and later found out it's something observable in a portion of the online transbian community (not saying every transbian is like this, but still). (Oh yh she also (sort of?) cheated on her gf so there's that but I don't think it's related.)
I think I feel a similar sentiment as you in the sense that while I can sympathise with some of the struggles transfems may face, I find it irritating at times when people seem to go above and beyond to label/treat them as "the most sapphic and lesbian ever" as you put it, most of the time in an effort to validate their identity and place in the sapphic and wider lgbt community, when they probably never had to face the struggles afab sapphics were faced with since forever and more importantly some say some... Questionable things about their orientation and attraction to women. Not all obviously, but still. Am I making any sense lol?
I definetely don't think transbians have 0 place in the sapphic community, I think it's a complicated matter and there can be some gray areas (I also have grown increasingly distant from the (at least online) lgbt/lesbian community the past year so idrc about most discourse ig), but I kind of wish this was all treated more "normally" if that makes sense and that afab lesbians or sapphic could talk about certain things related to their orientation without constantly being scrutinised to make sure they're including trans folk in everything ever. I also kind of wish we could call out problematic behaviour in trans people without being called transphobic, but I think this applies to specific cases mostly.
Anyway I think I was mostly nonsensical here, apologies, but feel free to reply to whatever you managed to latch onto here lol.
Also, if you ever feel the need to vent and don't feel comfortable airing those issues on tumblr.com for whatever reason, my dms are always open, I check into this hellsite daily <3
~🪼
(wow retroactive preface I go on a long ass ramble about semantics in this I apologize in advance for how many times you might have to read the word "definition" lmao)
hey!! so happy to keep seeing you here around these parts (my inbox, that is) and I'm glad you especially do get some enjoyment out of my far less polished vent posts :p I always feel bad when I post something so singularly interesting to me and me alone because it is just a full on personal blog moment, but to be fair to myself this entire blog is an exercise in actually voicing my own opinions and feelings for the sake of learning to express myself better, and it is nice to know even in the least poignant or least thought out posts, it isn't just fully self-beneficial lmao
I also (of course, as always) appreciated your response! honestly, I admire how level-headed and nuanced you can be with these topics, I myself often feel like I swing wildly from being harsher with my words and trying desperately to be as passive as possible to appease everyone, and I do have to say it is an ongoing challenge for me sometimes to strike that perfect balance between understanding but still standing by my convictions and not solely focused on people pleasing. it's a bit of a weird life, in my private time I do feel like I tend to be highly cynical and sort of an asshole lolol, especially towards other people, but in public I would never dare say any of the things I think because at the end of the day, I do still feel as if preserving friendly atmospheres among peers is paramount to being a productive part of a society. I'm like the opposite of the asshole with a heart of gold trope, in a way. gold with the heart of an asshole lmao
all that to say, I think you make some really astute observations that are still compassionate to trans women who identify as lesbian, while still pointing out the objective faults of their common language and behavior! I really think this (like so many issues whose current is pushed most strongly by the english speaking west) is a matter of semantics for the most part. labels, communities based on labels, and their inherent flaws I guess. because I really have no problem with someone identifying as a trans woman and also having a sexuality surrounding liking women, or if they want to talk about it or even if they want to define it separately than heterosexual attraction. it's their attraction, and I'm not the ceo of how people choose to define their own sexuality (and I wouldn't want to be, that sounds like a headache job lmao). for me, I think the issue really comes with when personal definitions of sexuality are enforced upon others, and when suddenly, highly personal definitions become community-defining ones. the term "sapphic" is such a great example of this weird treatment of labels and their definitions. the term "sapphic" can mean a lot of different things to different people, despite the fact that it is, at its core, a term held together by a single definition. in our society people will ideologically define every single word in a definition differently (ex. what does love mean? what does a woman mean (lol)?) and so even a fairly universal term can be personal based on one's own framework of thinking. BUT the thing is, a lot of transbians/people who identify as queer/tra positive/whatever you want to call the current hegemonic popular opinions of the lgbtq+ have taken to a personal definition of words like lesbian and sapphic, and have decided to supplant the originally fairly universal term and replace it with something that does kind of inadvertently alienate a lot of people who identify with the most "neutral" and non-ideological version of the definition (women who love/are attracted to women). instead, the basic definition has essentially shifted in its meta, though the words stay the same, the meaning is pushed to imply these terms can be understood as "someone who identifies as a woman who loves/are attracted to people who they identify as women" and that's just both too broad and too specific at the same time, excluding those who don't agree with the notion of identifying into what was previously understood as a sex class, and including people who wouldn't have even met the original definitional criteria to begin with. this, in turn, creates a vacuum in meaning, allowing for "aesthetic" to take over as the primary meaning of the term. I think that's where that "weirdness" comes in.
it's hard to find community with people who are coming at the definition of what the community is built on from a completely different direction. when I think of being "sapphic" (other than the brainrotting pop culture/online/algorithmically driven stereotypes) I simply think of being attracted to my same sex, that being female, and that being women. but, I would assume for transfems, they obviously don't have the simple way of just relying on same sex attraction as a definition, because they don't see the world in that way definitionally, and must apply more effort to justify why their attraction to women deserves to distinctively be defined from regular opposite sex attraction. that's where we get the strange insistence on sapphic love being more "pure" or making their entire personality curated towards "sapphic culture". in a way, though on the surface I am still pretty jealous that they get the privilege to express these thoughts and be backed up so strongly by people I know who would care less about me, I do feel bad that they must subconsciously feel the need to "prove" they meet the criteria for these labels because for them, there is no easy, biologically material fitting of the definition. I personally will have never have to care that much about fitting lesbian stereotypes or involving my life in sapphic culture. in fact, I basically can't not be sapphic. it's just the only way my future looks. it's the only way my attraction manifests. people will see me as a lesbian (well, that or a nerdy disheveled teenage boy at first glance lmao) just based on how I don't present in a way that centers men. it's the only way I fall in love.
and yeah, it really would be nice if there was space for a community where we could discuss that reality, openly, in mainstream progressive spaces! but for reasons that would be pretty bleak if we unraveled them, people would much rather play these games of labels and proving your place in them than creating avenues for people to congregate in spaces that actually bring them community and cater to their needs.
as always after these really really tangled word threads I slowly begin to run out of steam so I'll just wrap this up and say you made excellent points dear anon! maybe one day we can all just accept that sometimes definitions should be exclusive in that they exclude people who don't fit them, and not exclusive in the way that they exclude people who do fit them, and that afab women, and especially afab sapphics, deserve the right to preserve spaces for themselves without having to worry about appeasing men or anyone they don't want to!
and wow holy shit this is a whole lot of words trying to pick apart the way words can mean other words sometimes I would not blame anyone if they skim most of it lmao.
tl;dr the meta of labels and their definitions are kinda dumb and I'm maybe more dumb for spending so much time thinking about them
and lastly, thank you for the kind offer of your dm space as an area for venting! perhaps...I will take you up on that offer...it is inevitable I will be struck by another petty urge to vent about people in my life because I continue to work with people who are essentially the most fascinating but headache inducing parts of tumblr and twitter personified and I do still primarily have very "gendery" friends irl! we'll see if I end up having anything interesting to say about it though first, or if I can bear to actually talk to someone online once instead of passively yelling into the digital void!
#anon I really love the vibes you bring to my blog I genuinely think your writing helps balance out the growing cynicism within me lmao#it's grounded and concise in a way that really forms a nice contrast with the oft unhinged and unedited mind vomit I end up writing :p#plus you just seem like a kind and nuanced person!! which is awesome!! especially for tumblr the famously unnuanced website lolol#and thanks for the well wishes !! luckily I'm privileged enough to not be in danger for my sexuality and honestly that's the most important#responding to asks.#not lying about the inevitable future venting I do in fact encounter a lot of mind-numbing progressive university student body shenanigans#young people do tend to be silly :p#myo is rambling.
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The message you got about conservative men being closeted gay/bisexual came right on time because I've been thinking about it lately lol.
I always suspect these trad men when they talk too much about a woman's role and constantly criticize women, on top of the homophobia like atp i know it'll be a matter of time when something related to his sexuality will come out... Remember that scrote who gave that speech saying women were wasting their time with their careers and should become housewives and have children instead? And how some gay men started exposing him saying he had a "gay past"? I believe many of these men are lowkey jealous of women and have a hatred of them bc we are "allowed" to be with men and they can't... Like the way many of these men are obssesed with feminity and think any woman not shaving or wearing pants or prioritizing work is masculine.. If there's a group of men obssesed with hyper feminity is gay men, that's why they like those hyper femenine pop stars like Lana del Rey, I just feel these conservative men wish they could be one of the lolita stay at home gf coquette girlies lol.
That's also why I think it's funny when these conservative guys make fun of leftist men for wearing nail polish or being feminist or being pro-lgbt and imply they're gay. These men are not the ones having scandals for being closeted gay lol it's always the right wingers. At least leftist men don't have issues accepting their sexuality - you'll in fact find guys trying to hide their heterosexuality to be trans inclusive like the guys who say their pansexual bc they like "cis women, trans men and afab nonbinaries." lol And many times conservative men have been found to be closeted it's rarely through something more "innocent" like holding a man's hand, it's always something like participating in a gay orgy, or being with a prostituted man (or boy 🤢) or watching trans porn (even though they denounce porn and say it makes men less manly... One has to laugh).
Controversial take, but there's nothing less revolutionary or subversive in male gayness. Homosexuality is the peak of male narcissism and this tracks back to the dawn of time. Greeks & romans were huge male homosexuality apologetic societies. And *pikachu face* they were also patriarchal and pedophiles. Funny how those are often linked.
History is just repeating itself. Conservatives are actually consistent in trying to get back in their old way of those old times. Those maga/redpiller account with greek statue are such glaring giveaways.... lol
I think conservatism is pretty coherent with a form of patriarchal misogynist homosexuality.
I'm not surprised by those stories of closeted gays caught in 'extreme' situations, I guess that's what unchecked & unhealed sexual frustration will do to you
Yeah I remember that moid and talked about him here lol I think tiktokers dug out some statements he previously made where he said back in highschool he had a crush on one of his teammates or coach?? His Instagram is pretty zeisty too👀 There's something definitely fishy with him..his speech screamed like some major copium. Something tells me that since he struggled with his sexuality, he now wants to impose the same sexual control onto women. He's definitely not one of those people who "recovered" from homosexuality
And you know what? I think everyone would benefit having more sexual continence, but dude messed up by compelling women (and only women) to do the opposite and jumpinto marriage and childbearing. He wants to control women into motherhood which is absolutely irresponsible.
I also think the obsession of Conservatives with Epstein super weird. Sure his "suicide" was suspect but it's very suspicious to see them act like he and his list were the only pedo network in the world. Same with Balenciaga. I hate how sensational headlines made people lose focus and forgot that this isssue is more culturally pervasive How many of the ppl who clutched their pearls are the tragic Balenciaga campaigns watch #teen porn? or entertain anime lolicon/cute japanese girl fetish? shame grown women for looking old and not forever looking like prepubescent girls? Balenciaga wouldn't have done that campaign is they didn't feel like society was ready to accept it. It thankfully didn't, but it's time for everyone to acknowledge this decision didn't happen out of a vacuum. Society is being groomed into sexual & moral degeneracy, and many of the people who went off at Balenciaga are actually part of the problem.
I'll never forget how conservatives almost unanimously defended Andrew Tate because sex trafficking & rape is apparently okay as long as the victims are not children somehow🤡
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INTERVIEW - SPINN
SPINN are quickly winning over a fan-base across the UK from locals in their hometowns in Liverpool where they grew up to now adoring teen girls and this comes as no surprise to anybody. They have the cheek yet optimism of a new band despite completing their final lineup only last year and will no doubt continue to roar through the UK music scene and gain an army of avid supporters in years to come. This month, the boys are embarking on a tour of the UK, playing a series of gigs up and down the country from Glasgow to Bristol. They finish the tour off on the 28th September back in their home-city of Liverpool (O2 Academy 2 Liverpool). They've impressively already managed to sell out three of their six dates and have recently announced that they have been signed to American label, anti fragile music. The thing that the band are chuffed about though? The fact that one of their songs, It's Not Getting Better, was played on Made in Chelsea earlier on this week.
SPINN have released eight songs so far, including a self-titled EP which was released in April of this year. Singles of their's include catchy 'It's Not Getting Better' which is a song that stays in your head for days after first hearing it's memorable lyrics ( "you know it's killing me being here, killing me, being here.”) and groovy guitar lines which resemble that of early work from Blossoms.
Pictured below, SPINN.
So, (currently) 180,000 monthly Spotify listeners, a UK tour this month with half of the dates sold out and a growing army of supporters, I had questions for Johnny from SPINN and these were his answers... Maybe I'm slightly biased, but I think that these are the best answers to an interview that I've ever read.
1. Was there a particular moment that you realised that SPINN were becoming popular?
I was once getting a meal deal in Tesco and I saw somebody walk in the shop wearing a SPINN teeshirt. I was absolutely buzzing that somebody was wearing some of our merch and later on they messaged our Instagram page and said they'd seen me but had been too scared to come up and say hello. The same thing happened to me when I saw Ex-Everton Winger Steven Pienaar in a different Tesco. That made me realise we were doing something right, I still think we've got a while to go before we can say we're properly popular though. Just got to keep working innit x
2. Away from making music and gigging, what are your favourite things to do together?
Honestly just knocking about with each other like we always have, is what we like to do. Usually it can be anything from just walking around the shops together to going on nights out and staying up till 8AM. Last week Louis had to stay at my flat and we spent the time going to Tesco and prank calling Sean.
This has been a very Tesco centric interview I'll try and steer away from that for the rest of it. Right that's besides the point, as long as we're still knocking about together and taking the piss out of each other, we'll enjoy it x
3. You're going on tour soon, do you each have an essential item you will take with you?
I try to bring a book of some sort for the drive currently, it's Nine Stories by J.D Salinger
Andy ALWAYS brings a hairdryer and various hair products, rocking a bowl when you're on the road ain't no easy fete!
Sean usually just brings himself, that leather jacket he's always got on. A spare bass guitar wouldn't go a miss either, though. Once he left his on the side of the motorway when we were on the way back from Derby, good times.
Louis brings his Aston Villa blanket and 20 Litres of Vape liquid, the little fiend.
4. What/who are your major influences?
Collectively: The Drums, The Smiths, The La's, The Cure, Orange Juice, Ride, My Bloody Valentine.
Individually: Too many to list xoxo
5. Let’s fast forward five years from now, what do you see SPINN doing?
Ideally I'd like to get to the level of Wolf Alice or The 1975 are at now, that would be the dream. If we keep on working then I can see no reason why we can't get there, if we don't then that's fair enough, but we have to at least try! Anyway that's the dream, as long as we can make a living off the band and keep writing music that develops and matures with us then I'll be happy.
6. Do you have any pre-gig rituals?
I always have to go on stage last, I don't know why. At particularly big gigs we listen to 'I Am A God' by Kanye West before we go on, because it's such a good tune for getting hyped to. Other than that, apart from the odd bout of stage fright it's usually just a beer with the boiz before going on.
7. How has your music evolved since you first began playing music together?
I think our songwriting has definitely improved. When we listen to our new stuff compared to our older songs, it's just in a different league, that only comes with experience though. I think that us touring has definitely helped us realise what is what in terms of song structures and live performances. So to answer the question properly, yeah we've got a lot better (even though we thought we were boss before when we weren't lol).
8. Can you describe each member of the band in under ten words?
Andy - A man who loves his haircut more than life itself.
Sean - Donned in a tight leather jacket he's often quite hungover.
Louis - A small man, usually asleep in his Aston Villa blanket.
Me (Johnny) - Taller than the other four, basically the god of dancing xoxo
9. How long have you been playing together?
Louis joined about a year ago, but we've been a band for about 2 and a bit years. Saying that, I don't think we would be SPINN without Louis so therefore I'm gonna say a year.
10. What has been your favourite and least favourite venue to play so far?
My favourite was The Magnet in Liverpool. There's so many boss memories there but now it's been turned into one of those chain comedy clubs which is something that chips away at my soul every time I walk past.
My least favourite was The Sitwell Tavern in Derby. Everybody who came to see us was lovely and so were the other bands and the promoters Dominic (just wanted to make sure if they read this they know I had a boss time at the gig and in the chippy afterwards ;) ).
But, and it's a big but, the pub had fuck off massive "The S*n" flags up all over the gaff which frankly isn't something we like to see anywhere, as we think that that rag is scum, sorry not sorry.
SPINN set out on their debut headline tour this month at the following locations:
21st September - Surf Cafe, Tynemouth
22nd September - Broadcast, Glasgow
25th September - Record Junkee, Sheffield
26th September - Hy Brasil Music Club, Bristol
27th September - Thousand Island (formerly Upstairs at The Grage), London
28th September - O2 Academy 2 Liverpool
Tickets are available to buy now at https://www.musicglue.com/spinn-band/ and all of SPINN's music is available to stream on Apple Music and Spotify.
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