#i'm not intentionally trying to compare the groups themselves

[death2normalcy]

So, I have tomorrow (today) off, and I’m spending Thanksgiving alone this year, but I figured it’s the perfect time to try and watch a few more Ateez videos!

I’m gonna keep this post saved and add to it as I watch more. For context, I’m sticking with their music videos for now. After I’ve seen all of them, I’ll move on to all the songs without videos and so on. (Okay, I ended up watching some tonight, so this is post 1 and tomorrow, I’ll make a post 2!)

Also, just in case I haven’t made it super obvious. I’m pretty new to these guys, for the most part. I’ve seen them pop up here or there, but I genuinely don’t know that much about them. If there’s anything I should know, any issues the fandom has, if I mess up, etc, let me know. I don’t want to offend anyone here, or get things really wrong.

In this post, I talk about my thoughts on Hala Hala, Promise, Illusion, Wave, Aurora, and Wonderland. I had to stop after Wonderland, because it was a lot, lmao.

Hala Hala - This is the 4th official video I’ve watched (technically 5th, but I’ve decided to pretend I haven’t seen anything else). I love it. I enjoyed the first three, for the most part, but this was the first one where I was like, hell yea. I can’t say that I understand the story line at all yet, but I’m still new, hopefully I’ll learn, lmao.

But yea, since I’m still not 100% great with knowing who is who (although I’m almost there!), I actually loved the masks and not really knowing who was who. Eventually, I’ll look it up to find out who sings what because the singing in this one was stunning.

Promise - I had to pause this one a minute in so that I could say this before I forget: Wooyoung’s voice would fit in with any 90s boy band. I can’t explain it exactly, but it just would. Thank you. Let me continue.

Okay, I’m back. So, I love the setting! I looked in the comments and it looks like this was filmed in Moscow, which is stunning. I loved that it had a performance video feel and a street version feel.

Also, listen. I’m...I’m loyal to Seo Changbin, okay. His rapping is just *chefs kiss* perfection, but ...Hongjoong is so charismatic. Like, he’s my current favorite in the group, but that may change, it’s too early to tell.

I have no idea what the song is about, as there were no English captions, but I’ll look it up later. It was good. Also, not even gonna comment on how great Jongho is here, I already knew he was talented as hell after that Love Poem performance.

Illusion - I don’t know what to say about this one. I liked it. I could tell it seemed to have a double meaning. Like, it seems like a happy, upbeat song, but the lyrics may not be? This might sound dumb, but I sometimes struggle to pick up on the meanings of some kpop songs with the English translations. That’s my own shortcoming though, not anyone’s fault.

The video was bright and interesting, though, so yea. I don’t have a lot of thoughts on this one.

Wave - Did they just say Hakuna Matata?  ...Yes, yes they did. That’s actually so cute, bye.

Okay, I’m back. This one was so cute! Chill songs are usually not my favorite songs, but I still enjoy them from time to time and I definitely think I’ll enjoy this one. I love that it’s a great summer song, and all the talk of the beach. I grew up near the beach, so it holds a special place in my heart. I’m also always a fan of the video where groups look like they’re having fun. It’s why I love Stray Kids’ street version videos so much, even if the songs themselves aren’t my favorite.

Aurora - Okay, this one confused me at first, I won’t lie. Again, it was the English captions, again, its my fault. But I think it’s about someone being the light in the darkness? Because at first, I thought they were saying that the other person was the darkness and they found the light. Let me know if I’m wrong, lmao.

So, it’s definitely a great song, they all look fantastic in the video and they sound amazing. I don’t think it’s going to be on repeat for me, just because of the style of song and everything, but it’s a really good one. OH. And I loved the choreography here.

Wonderland - Okay, wow, okay. This is the last one for tonight, since I need to breathe after this, lmao.

This one was chaotic and intense. I loved it. It’s scratched that itch in my brain that Stray Kids songs usually scratch.

I will say that it’s a little hard to tell who’s who at times, during the more chaotic scenes, since I’m not 100% used to them yet. But I had the same problem with skz, I’ll figure it out eventually, lmao.

I love how aggressive the choreography is. It looks like they performed this one on some music shows, so I really wanna see the whole choreography, I bet it’s amazing. But yea, really fucking great.

[annabel-lee-nevermore]

Hey. I'm sure all of you have seen Red's post, which they chose to call an apology (though I beg to differ in some parts), where I was called out amongst many others. This whole situation is a mess and though there have been many posts already, I just want to add my two cents, as someone who was directly named. Apologies for how late this is compared to the rest of the situation, not trying to stir it all up again, I’ve just been busy. (Please note that everything I say here is my own take/opinions and I am not directly speaking for anyone else, any issues you have with anything said here are with me alone.) 

First of all, Red promised this post would be about the Crimson situation, the long prologue with the explanations of the "cliques" is completely unrelated and just an attempt to shift blame onto other groups for the situation blowing up as it did. This is especially horrible because of the fact that many of the people named are MINORS, who Red has constantly claimed to prioritize protecting, especially in the situation with Crimson exposing minors to NSFW. I'm not going to harp too much on the Crimson situation as I wasn't involved (or capable of being involved after my ban), though everything I have seen from Red has been a shitshow of mishandling, which they addressed, and I will give them credit for admitting they fucked up with it, and am VERY glad to see them step back from moderating, as I feel they were under far too much stress by both being highly active in the server as a mod and also trying to write a good story, and hope a larger variety of mods does the server good. I was there when the server hit 1k members, and knowing that the mod team didn’t grow until now (when last I heard it was around 6k?) feels like it would have driven anyone trying to moderate it insane. 

However, I am here to give my side of the story, which goes back to the drama with the confession blog "@/esoterichistoria", in which they were sent an anon ask which [paraphrased] asked why the account existed and what they got out of it, in a sense that implied they didn't believe the account should exist. This ask was not answered publicly and was screenshotted and posted in the hideout, one of the NON PATREON channels in the discord. Red then went on to reveal themselves as the person behind this anon ask which led to other people sending harassment to the account. I was firmly on the side of supporting EH, and wound up creating a post of my own  calling out the hypocrisy and "word of god" reliance on lore snippets sent by Red and Flynn in the discord, which when sent in the free channels would eventually disperse into the tumblr fandom. Unless I mistakenly shared a minor fact that was patreon exclusive (which would have only been shared to me by someone who was affected asking if they were right to be concerned about it) I did not intentionally state any patreon only information in any of my comments within and under that post. 

That post for me, was what happened when the straw broke the camel's back. I had seen several instances of fan to fan hostility (such as telling people off for using the tumblr "#nevermore webtoon" tag for confession blog related posts, but only for the original blog and not the second one that popped up during this drama). I was fed up with watching a fandom I truly loved fall apart, and felt that speaking up about it would be the only way to see any change within this issue. However, I will admit the post was written in a stress induced craze as I was at the end of finals and preparing to move at the same time, which definitely greatly impacted my capacity to truly think through why I should make that post in the first place, but I felt the only way to get the drama out of my head was to send it out into the void of tumblr, and then, through the next day when I had a few spare moments I responded to a few people asking clarifying questions with less than stellar tact. 

It was quite shocking for me to find out, just a day or so later (forgive me I am not the greatest with dates or timelines) that the Nevermore discord was gone from my server list, which I mainly noticed because I often use the emotes from that server in casual conversations with friends, and found my favorited emotes completely lacking of them. I had no message of why I had been banned, and shrugged it off as I hadn't been active in the discord community in ages, as I was busy with other things. 

A few hours later, Percy, who Red had reached out to directly (but none of the other members of our "clique" as Red puts it heard a peep) shared a truly baffling DM that consisted of refusing to explain and extrapolating reasons behind actions that did not exist to justify the ban. We laughed it off and moved on, as though we enjoyed the fandom and comic itself, losing access to the discord was no loss as of our lack of usage of it in the first place. 

I was in no way Stalking, nor were any of my friends. We had been members of a fandom who loved the comic and fandom, and had come to a point where our unpopular fandom opinions led us to feel a bit on the outside of the main popular opinion, and we were also just naturally shifting to different interests. 

This, alongside the fallout of having expressed opinions on Montresor and the specific ways that his relationship with Ada progressed. I DON'T see people who ship Montrada as supporting a "SA Fetish Ship", I just personally wasn't a fan of it and alongside my friends who shared the same opinion, was sick of being told that we were blatantly WRONG for having a differing opinion, and chose to distance ourselves because of the level of vitriol we had experienced, and some made a statement saying we didn't wish to associate with people who enjoyed the ship, which is a perfectly normal way to interact with fandom. There are definitely perfectly valid ways to interact with the ship, and even explore it in interesting ways, it is just ways that I personally am not interested in engaging with. 

(And just to point out the elephant in the room, yes I have a fic that focuses on Montrada, both because I saw a part of my former self in Ada and someone who hurt me in Montresor, and this fic was planned out long before Montrada was hinting at becoming canon in the comic. Though this fic is written in an explicit manner, it was on a site that allows that and was tagged correctly for those who wish to avoid it.) 

I know I'm trying to prove myself to people who have made up their minds on if they believe Red's statement, and I know for those who have their minds made up, nothing I can say will change that unless they are willing to, and I can't force that. I personally do not agree with many opinions Red holds, and find the act of plastering the usernames of people, including minors, that they dislike on a public tumblr post knowing they have a loyal fanbase who may choose to take it upon themselves to harass people out of a sense of vigilante justice, frankly abhorrent and irresponsible. Though I would like to believe that the Nevermore fandom is better than stooping to harassment, I know it is naive to believe in any fandom that this is the case, every fandom will have a few bad apples, even if the fandom at large is kind and passionate and supportive of fellow fans. (note: as of writing at least one person I've been in contact with have received direct harassment) 

As someone who has a tendency to come across as rude and bitchy when in a passionate argument/debate with someone, especially when an emotional connection to the subject is involved on my end, I know I may have been combative to an excessive degree and given myself a bad name. For anyone who has felt hurt in an argument with me, I do apologize, as sometimes I don't know the harshness of my words. I do quite enjoy a good argument, and when things get heated I do find myself being quite harsh, something many people do, especially when they have had a history of being the only one on their side of an opinion.  

Despite the drama, I do still love the comic, through a more analytical lens and with caveats of my own personal opinions perhaps, but I do truly love the characters, the world, and am curious to know what comes next in the story when it returns from hiatus. Though I don't believe I will ever have a positive view of Red interpersonally, I want them and Flynn to be able to continue the comic for as long as they feel they need to tell a complete story. I probably will continue to write fic and engage with the fandom, as in my opinion, Fandom is for the Fans, not the Creators, and I truly do love sharing my writing with the Fandom, and I have many fic ideas that I want to have a chance to bring to fruition. 

For those who don't wish to dig in deep on the older drama with the Montrada situation or my general drama hot takes, you can hop off here, and even if this didn't change anything for you I appreciate you taking the chance on hearing me out, as I am quite wordy and I know this post is already rather long. However, since Red’s post brought up these issues, I feel I should at least address them.

First off, on the accusation of stalking, I do feel Red may be pointing a finger and forgetting that three point back at them, as though I do understand wanting to have a grasp on who someone is when you feel wronged by them, going out of your way to construct a narrative of who's friends with who, and what they do in their free time, alongside congregating information about them to share publicly when even in the best case of you being correct their crimes were at MOST having an insular group chat and occasionally getting in arguments about unpopular fandom opinions or standing opposite your side in drama. 

By every metric, while sharing screenshots can be seen as in bad taste, doing so with a small group of friends in a private group chat is not the end of the world. The phrase "keep it in the group chat" exists for a reason, people often share with their friends things they may not say publicly, and that is perfectly okay provided it's not planning some sort of direct attack on someone. People going "ugh I don't agree with xyz and wish they'd see reason" to friends is not stalking, it's a bit of gossip between friends, and when it comes from something that began as a shared interest that brought the group together, there's no harm in it. However, congregating identifying information and sharing it publicly DOES have harm in it, because no matter how many times you tell your audience not to harass people, opening the doors for it makes it more likely to happen regardless.

Secondly, calling the post an apology was a half truth. Yes, the final paragraphs WERE an apology, but based on the situation and what was truly going on, the explanations of the Cliques was unnecessary and distracted greatly from the actual apology present. Especially as the context of “Clique 2” does NOTHING to add to the story of the situation with Crimson and why an apology is necessary. The situation was blown greatly out of proportion by adding on more context than the situation required, and is definitely the reason the controversy has grown so large. Not only was diverting to the explanations of the Cliques cluttering the otherwise potentially strong apology, it both works to paint Red as the victim to garner sympathy from loyal fans, and gives a target to go after for why the situation has grown so horrible, when a concise apology that left that all out would have cleared the air on the Crimson situation and not led to a large group of people who were unjustly called out and have their information blasted for anyone to see and opening them to excessive harassment. 

Finally, Speaking to Red directly, If you'll allow me to speak at you a bit personally for a moment, the way you framed things in your post regarding "Clique 2" to me in some regards comes across as a misinterpretation of criticism of the comic and its characters as a criticism of you. As a writer I understand how your work often feels like an extension of you, and criticism often feels personal, but to take a small group of people who share a similar criticism and extrapolate it to mean they're spreading vitriol about you is a bit extreme. 

(And in screenshots regarding the Prospero aromanticism issue that have been posted to tumblr, this seems to be a recurring pattern of seeing anyone who has concerns about how a certain aspect is being normalized within the fandom with encouragement from the creators, which regardless of intent comes across as endorsement, as an attack and trying to make an issue out of something that isn’t really that deep.) 

Anyways, the main situation regarding the Montresor and Ada ship happened over a year ago and I have no way to access or look back on what was said having been banned from the discord, there may be discrepancies in intent and execution so take all of this with a grain of salt if you'd like, but I never meant to say that you as the author were glorifying SA by having Montresor and Ada to exist as a ship. It was a mixture frustration with how Ada's characterization (as interpreted by what existed in the comic) did a 180 and how the relationship between her and Monty was framed and the fandom's manner of acting as if saying that it personally made someone uncomfortable they were just a hater trying to stir drama. The fandom's usage of the phrase “fun toxic” and overromanticizing when Monty had been consistently characterized as misogynistic (not a bad thing) and Ada's prior characterization didn't line up with the “mutually toxic” idea that was being spread. I'd be a hypocrite if I was saying that every ship had to be morally pure, I've written some pretty morally bankrupt relationships in my own original works. I just found that the way the fandom acted around Montrada at the time was really uncomfortable to be around as an SA survivor simply because of the way people were changing their opinions of the barking scene, which to me with just the context of the scene itself was not at all something Ada did consensually (or only did under coercion) and is a form of humiliation which is sexual harassment. 

It was never a moral righteousness witch hunt or anything, more just some fans pointing out how the portrayal of it could come off to people who was a survivor of someone who acted like Monty and that the energy in the fandom around it was uncomfortable and didn't actually leave room for nuance on the opinions of Montrada. I have always been a proponent of letting people ship what they want to, even if it’s personally not what I enjoy in the fandom. Perhaps the way it was portrayed on my end at the time didn’t come off the way it was intended, but there is a massive difference in my opinion between thinking anyone who enjoys a particular ship is evil and being personally uncomfortable with a ship and not wanting to engage with it within fandom, even with it being canon. And the preference for Morella and Ada was never upholding a "morally pure" ship as "better" than Montrada, it was simply preference from people who had already been shipping Morellada for a long time and didn't choose to abandon ship over Montrada becoming canon, only finding new reasons to continue holding that opinion. 

All in all. I’ll miss when the good times of the fandom were around, and definitely will stick around for season 2. I wish it hadn’t all turned out this way, as I’ve made great memories and friends because of this comic and community. To anyone who still has questions or something to say to me, my ask box and dms here have always been open. And hey, if Red or Flynn have anything to say to me, feel free to reach out. I’m open to a civil conversation if that's what’s desired. 

~~ Rose, of the “dark stalker Clique”

[technically-a-kiwi]

The Meeting

Normally the Cosmic Tower gang kept to their own kind. The other Cosmic entities tended to be weird around them. Intentionally or not, they made the mottled group feel like they didn't belong. After all, they were far more whacky than their serious shining peers. Especially the higher-ups.

Every time they stood next to some other Cosmic, they felt like a mistake.

So they mostly kept to the others like themselves. Noise might be insufferable and whatever was in the ticket booth might be a bit alarming, but it was better than being silently judged by some eldrich horror. They kept to themselves, and the others just let them do their own thing.

Normally.

One particular universe had caught Pizzahead's interest on this fateful day. He had always been fascinated by the Tower in every one. There was always a Tower. If not now, then sometime in the past or future. He loved watching them; a vibrant ecosystem, almost a universe itself in one building!

He watched with intense interest this particular one. He had become invested in the fight between two grey humans - one in a lab coat, one in detective garb - when he felt a painful flare of cosmic power jolt through his body. He jumped forward a couple dozen light-years and then turned around in shock. Another Cosmic entity was standing at the edge of the universe, glaring angrily. "Hey, Wile E! You're in MY territory!"

Pizzahead cleared his throat nervously. He hadn't encountered a "proper Cosmic" in centuries. "My sincerest apologies! I hadn't quite realized how far from home I - YIKES!" Another blazing bolt of pure energy crackled by his head. "OK! I'M MOVING! I'M MOVING!" he screamed, trying to shuffle out of the way. No dice. The other Cosmic lunged at him and grasped the celestial toon by his neck.

"You don't belong here!" he shouted. Pizzahead struggled to loosen his grip. "Then why won't you let me leave...?" he gasped. The proper Cosmic tightened his grip, snarling. "None of you deserve Cosmic power, you least of all!" As Pizzahead was thrown across the starry field, images of countless other Pizzaheads flashed before his eyes, none of them good. But that couldn't be HIM, right?

He managed to get himself standing upright and faced his assailant again, putting up his dukes and bouncing comically. "So that's it? All right then, square up, you - " Pizzahead crumpled like a sheet of paper before he could even get a shot off. He struggled to get up, but it suddenly felt like he was swimming through molasses. The next bolt only lasted a few seconds, but the pain on impact felt like it lasted a hundred times that. He curled up into a ball, wincing.

"I'm like 80% sure you're not supposed to do something like this," he hissed. He could never directly quote any of the rules but he was pretty sure there was one about serious fighting. His opponent leaned down and grinned.

"No one will notice you're gone. Not even your own kind."

Pizzahead whimpered. He hadn't done anything wrong. This guy obviously had a much better handle on his powers than him - Pizzahead hadn't even considered being able to distort time like that! He knew he didn't stand a chance alone. But it was just them two for light-centuries, or so it seemed. He braced himself for whatever came next.

"What in the - " Pizzahead's eyes snapped open when he heard his assailant shout. Stars and galaxies were clustering around him, forming a sparkling sort of makeshift shield. A strange voice came from the universe. "Enough..." It sounded like it had never spoken before that moment. The proper Cosmic started, then scoffed. "A sentient universe? Cute." He waved his hand to one side. "Get out of the way! You are nothing compared to me!" A galaxy wrapped around Pizzahead's hand. "You're on a power trip," the universe stated.

This infuriated the other Cosmic. He prepared the biggest attack he had used yet as he screamed, "That's IT! I gave you a chance to save yourself! You're in MY territory, so I can do WHATEVER I WANT TO YOU!" Pizzahead pushed some of his cosmic power into the universe, not really knowing what he was doing but not wanting all these innocent worlds to come to harm because of him.

The brilliant bolt ricocheted off of the celestial shield and came right back at their attacker. Now it was the proper Cosmic's turn to run away scared, shouting, "I'M REPORTING THIS!" Pizzahead retorted, "YOU STARTED IT!" The universe that he had protected separated itself from him, and he winced as he saw that his power had affected it. It looked for all the world like a floating mustachioed pizza creature. It smiled at Pizzahead.

Pizzahead shuffled in his shoes. "Thanks for trying to protect me. You didn't have to do that," he said, looking down at his feet. A galactic trail touched his shoulder. "Don't worry about it. He's been a pain for a while." The universe looked at itself. "I've... I've been wanting to approach you for a long time." Pizzahead jumped. "Really?" "Yes. You and your friends seem like you'd be the only Cosmics to take me seriously. And well... I guess you did."

Pizzahead looked his new friend up and down. Some subconscious memory was tugging at the back of his mind. Perhaps...? "Well, at any rate, you can't stay here. Wanna crash at my place?" Pizzaface smiled hopefully. "I'd like that."

@chaotichyperfixations been thinking about this all morning and wanted you to see too

Ooooh didn’t expect a full story to come up in my mail today… It’s brilliant !

also I really like how you wrote everything ! clearly you understand the word our Cosmic cast lived in Lawful cosmic.

And Pizzaface’s story here is so cute ! Could work for a lawful cosmic alt story since here Pizzaface isn’t NEARLY as full of himself as he should be.

Anyway, all I wanna say is thank you for taking the patient to write this 🤗! It’s lovely and I had a wonderful time reading it :)

[moonlightequin1]

hehehe I'm here again to share my thoughts about the new halloween event and Yuu. >:D

Jamil sort of trying to 'comfort' Skully is SO cute?? The angst is building up and I honestly hope Yuu can somehow play a bigher role in helping Skully, especially since they seem to share similarities.

But now that I think about it, sometimes it throws me off to see how majority of the fandom portrays Yuu as the overworked "therapist" who's tired of everyone and everything. Especially when it's clear to see that the cast helps out eachother a lot, while Yuu shared only a few 'deep' conversations with the boys throughout the game and also gets protected during fights. I feel like it takes away from the boys characters when the moments that show them caring about eachother and helping eachother out are completely being ignored or seemingly being re-written as Yuu doing all the work.

I totally don't mind when someone writes their Yuu to do all the 'therapist'—work, but seeing this under almost every comment section that includes Yuu is rather tiring. Especially since in-game Yuu doesn't seem to hate their stay in twst all that much.

I hope I don't sound rude haha, I guess this kind of ended up being a bit of a ramble? Sorry if I do! TnT

Hey again diggoes!!!

I actually do agree with your statement about the whole fandom's portrayal of Yuu being an unpaid therapist and TBH I thought the joke/meme was very funny at first until slowly, the joke started becoming less funnier to me when that's all people talked about when it came to Yuu's character. While Yuu isn't purposefully involving themselves in overblot incidents, they do help others without really complaining about it.

I think that one of the major reasons Yuu is labelled as an unpaid therapist is also because of how we, mostly a lot of the players for this game, tend to get tired of NRC's BS and may project that kind of feeling to Yuu (who is basically a self-insert character), which leads many of those in the fandom to think that way.

However, as you have stated, Yuu isn't the only one helping everyone out. In fact, a lot of the overblots are resolved from teamwork and cooperation on involved members. It's a group effort done by all sides of the parties despite NRC students having a knack for being selfish and prideful jerks who prioritise their needs/desires above everyone else.

But I believe another reason many tend to feel that way is because being in Twisted Wonderland, specifically in NRC, wasn't a choice that the player OR even Yuu gets to choose voluntarily which is something I would agree on partially. And unlike other characters in the game, Yuu and Grim have been involved in every single dangerous/life threatening events and even get to be involved with certain things that are far too personal for acquaintances such as them to get involved (particularly Diasomnia especially in book 7).

Although Yuu hasn't had any moments where they are shown to hate their stay in Twisted Wonderland, it is important to note that they seem to be homesick depending on the choices you choose in Book 7. Yuu doesn't really get a choice on many things, but it doesn't mean that they help begrudgingly. They help even without receiving anything in return.

With all that being said, if people were regarding this about Yuu, then the same should be said to apply to Grim; who has shown far more disregard and complaints about their involvement compared to Yuu. HELL– we even see Grim complain about the fact that Yuu helps out other characters too much. Sure, Grim starts AND stirs a lot of trouble, but a lot of times, it isn't really done intentionally. He can be naïve and really insensitive.

That's what I have to say about this topic at least! I don't really mind the 'unpaid therapist' concept with Yuu, but it does get overdone in the fandom and it does seem to disregard the efforts of the other characters too. Although, I do think that the unpaid therapist concept joke can work with people's own portrayals of Yuu, in-game Yuu hasn't really shown their complaints so far. Well, except with Crowley.

Thanks for the new message! ❤️

[rayssyscourse]

DID is a rare disorder. Except, on tumblr and discord, it isn't for some reason. There are statistically too many people, mostly young teens to early twenties, who have self diagnosed with this disorder. I do not think they are intentionally faking, to be clear. I think that those ages have more turbulent emotions and struggles with identity, and that likely the rampant misinformation being spread online has made them feel connected and seen by the "symptoms" they've read about. Most of you folks would benefit from roleplaying! It really can be therapeutic and it kind of is what y'all are doing anyway, even unintentionally. It's just sad seeing so many people identitying so hard with something that they just do not have. I've already seen people dealing with the embarassment and fallout of having to admit to themselves and others that they do not have alters, or amnesia, or anything like that. None of them were faking on purpose! They really thought they had DID! But they didn't. And neither do the vast majority of people online: it's why there is so much discourse. People cannot agree on what DID is because they are not reporting consistant experiences. No other disorder has discourse this bad online, discussed as if it were a fandom. I just wish this could be talked about more without people getting defensive. It might help some of you youngsters out.

Okay, I've got a lot of thoughts on this. I just want to start this by saying that I think you have some valid concerns and are making some good points, but the delivery is just all over the place and I think it's coming across as trying to make points that you don't intend. So for a while here I'm going to nitpick at your phrasing or comments, but just know that I'm not doing it to be mean or because I think you're totally wrong or whatever; I respect your viewpoint regardless and appreciate you sending it in, and am not trying to frame you as being bad faith or absolutely wrong or whatever. :)

First, to get this out of the way, I don't know if the "you" is supposed to be me or just the community in general, but if it's me, I do not claim to have full-blown DID, because I... don't have it. My psychiatrist, primary care provider, several therapists, and various psych evaluators over the years have confirmed that I a) have dissociation issues, b) have several distinct parts (headmates), and c) have these issues due to trauma, and have chosen not to diagnose me with DID because I do not fit all the criteria. That's about as specific as I'm going to get, but just know that everything I say or claim about myself is because that's what my doctors told me.

One thing I take issue with in this ask is the "you should try roleplaying, it's what you're doing anyway". I don't speak for anyone else, but last I checked, my amnesia, derealization, and cognitive dissonance doesn't really sound like a roleplay to me. It's also just a toxic mindset overall to get yourself in that people with certain issues are "probably just roleplaying". Same with the "arguing like it's a fandom" thing--first of all, syscourse isn't usually confusion about what defines DID, at least right now syscourse is mainly origin-discourse and the relationship of plurality to dissociative disorders. Very few people are arguing about what defines DID, and those who are are usually speculating about a heavily-underresearched disorder and possible causes and effects and stuff. Also, I feel like it's kind of just disrespectful to equate people's real illnesses, struggles, and identities to 'fandom discourse'.

Also, not to "um actually" at you, but the statistics you appear to be referencing are skewed. Yes, DID is a rare disorder. Yes, you will find lots of people talking about it on Tumblr. System communities and adjacent communities will inevitably have rates of dissociative disorders that appear disproportionate when compared to that of the general population because that is what they're there for. People form groups based on shared experiences all the time, thus different communities are going to attract people that share common qualities with their members. This is like going to a clothing store and complaining that there's too many clothes and not enough groceries as compared to the general store down the street. Like, yeah... that's because it's tailored to a more specific group; it's not meant to be representative of the general public.

Another thing is the whole "but what if you end up being wrong?" thing. I get where you're coming from--I have been in a place before where I thought I had a disorder and was then told I didn't have it, and it was genuinely difficult, because I thought I had an important aspect of myself figured out, but it turned out that I didn't. Self-discovery and identity are hard things, and you are absolutely right that the teens and early-twenties are the most turbulent time for developing one's identity. This is why I discourage jumping to conclusions about one's mental health or identity--and a lot of people in this community do the same. I don't think it's wrong to self-diagnose because self-diagnosis is the first step in a hell of a lot of actual diagnoses, and there's a million reasons why someone might not want or be able to access the medical care required to get a diagnosis. Obviously, it requires immense research and understanding, and personally I think it's harmful to self-diagnose with zero intention of ever seeking help, etc. And yes, people can be wrong, and it can be hard to admit that. But that's true of literally everything. It doesn't seem right or fair to me to immediately shoot down people who think they might have a legitimate illness "in case they might be wrong and feel bad about it". Furthermore, whether you like it or not, we kind of have to take people at their word when they tell us what they're experiencing. If they say they're experiencing plurality, who are we to tell them "no you're not"?

All that said, you do have a point that online spaces and unqualified people spreading misinfo can be very damaging to people and make them more confused, not less, about their identities. But I think the question we're asking shouldn't be "how can we stop this", it should be "how can we help these people?". Diagnosed or not, disorder or not, plural or not, we should support people when they say they are experiencing something confusing or difficult.

That's not to say that I think you don't want to support people; from the way your ask was worded at least, I don't think you're arguing from bad faith or malicious intent. But I do think a lot of your points are misguided.

Regardless, thank you for the ask, and I hope you have a lovely day! <3

[anotherblblog]

Dead Friend Forever episode 12 blurb/series retrospective

wellllllllllllllllllllll that was the goriest, slasheriest, kill 'em-ness I've seen in Thai or any bl series

the episode was kinda short and the pacing made it seem rushed but not I'm sure if I really felt rushed or if it was just a breakneck pace

I do like that a lot of the theories and wishes weren't achieved/realized and the series still feels good. Like I know I wanted White and TanNew to live and at times Jin and Phee too but all of them ending up in this ceaseless purgatory slaughterhouse is kinda fitting. Non couldn't escape his fate due to the actions of others and the rest of the group couldn't escape the fallout aka TanNew's life implosion and his pursuit of vengeance for his brother and family

Cuz like yeah White, it truly seems, was just at the wrong place and wrong time. The theories and sentiment of White being part of some Perth and TanNew third killer ace in hole was nice and could have worked but it didn't happen and I don't feel the show really lacked for it

Like we saw one of the masked killers with crutches and the killer always had a maybe magic, maybe mundane vibe the show liked to play with. So perhaps Non really did survive somehow or maybe he just really had a rather unmarkable end after his harrowing captivity and enslavement

anywho standouts for the episode and series -

TanNew going full slasher - lovely, wonderful, great job Mio. You sold and I bought. And as an elder sibling, bitch I don't necessarily condone your behavior but I motherfucking understand you and also why you were Phee were destined to have a falling out. Phee did geniunely love and care for Non but the information that Phee had because Non specifically and intentionally lied to Phee meant that Phee could ultimately move on with Jin but TanNew was frozen in that grief and by Phee interrupting TanNew's attempt, Phee sealed his own fated too

Jin's hallucation montage - kinda campy in a good way and also like really modern. Like this type of voyuerism enabled by modern technology is really scary. Like gays have been fucking and sucking in bathrooms since before bathrooms were existed and will continue to (and last night at this bar I was at - there were several gays keeping me from peeing because they were fucking in the bathroom stall). So I compare how the leaked sex tape was used in this series with Only Friends and I do feel DFF really did that subplot and theme so much better

The first third of ep 12 aka the slaughter house - like it's a series so total suspension of disbelief to let the series tell me that Top can get shot in the stomach (or near enough) after a series of beatings and days of high stress and still have the gas in the tank for a final fight. But the tension and motivations were really high and going from the joker class clown who kinda started a lot of the Non ends up a slave plot by Top breaking Por's camera and Fluke mister always trying to keep my hands clean but always being near and having the truth but not sharing taking themselves out together was obvious symbolism to me and still really good. Then going from that to Tee being made to inadvertently kill his lover and the person who inspired him to better himself while White's last images are his boyfriend who he like 3 minutes ago learned was a really massive piece of shit and a victim and victimizer and (I don't know about Thai laws and accidental death or manslaughter and all that) but learning your bf is connected and inarguably one of the biggest participants in this Non situation surely must have not felt good, then he stabs you while you think it's because you're not pretty. Madness and chaos and really cool scene.

Phee, Phee, Phee, our series lead - overall I think Ta did a fantastic job. Like so many times, he would enter a scene and I would think "this dude has stage presence" - highlight of him was the revealation he was Non's boyfriend as he saves Non from his attempt. That episode and the one prior with this abscene were fine and good but when he came back onscreen, it was like, yeah, you've got IT. Now the finale arc with him is frustrating because of the discourse and the piety of people and shipping. Yes Non was groomed. Por is the closest person in series to call out the massive inappropriateness of Keng and Non. But it is critical to point out, that Phee did not know about that and saw Non being hugged and comforted by Keng, so he made the deduction that Non was hot for teacher. And then the disappearance and police stuff happened and Phee was motivated to find the truth. He was fueled by his own guilt at his last words to Non but even as he was trying to find Non, as he told his dad, he wasn't sure how he felt about forgiving Non because Non told Phee to his face there was nothing wrong and then Phee watches Non and Keng fucking. So yeah, it makes sense he could could join in on TanNew's plan but he didn't have the same stakes that TanNew did.

The mean girl messy clique worked because you saw that it was largely a friend of convenience for them and you had two different type of alpha girls (Por and Tee) and then a lacky Top and two people who seemed to be voting for the leopard eating face party because they didn't want their own faces ate

The heat was decently high and the NC scenes were really good, that ass slap is iconic

Lows

we didn't get enough with Jin. He was arguably the 2nd or 3rd most "important" character to this maybe and we just didn't get enough of him or his character for him to be fully realized for me

Overall BoC's second series was really good. I think they avoided the sophomore slump.

Maybe the dead friend forever is the friends we made along the way

[fluffypotatey]

Hello there! I hope the month is treating you alright. Speaking of impending breakdowns, with a full guarantee of MK having one coming soon, aside from him who else do you think will be getting one amongst the Monkie crew, from earliest to the latest? Macaque is shockingly doing well comparatively because he's been having one the entire show and only started to wind down and process it s4 while the other two monkeys are just piling them up. I am fully biased towards SWK so I'd like to know your thoughts on what an SWK breakdown would look like and what would trigger it, and if we might see it any time soon.

I think the reason on why an MK vs SWK fight makes me full of nervous dread is because i worry it might mean full rejection of MK towards SWK, after all the trials they have been through, and that SWK haven't had someone fully believing in him for so long so i worry he might interpret it as MK finally giving up on him, like the others did. But I'm holding on to the hope that it's not entirely the case, MK still believes in him, he just wants SWK to actually use his words and TALK to him, extreme force needed. But that might just be me.

Regarding the Samadhi Fire incident, do you think the other pilgrims ever find out about the fourth ring, or did Ao Lie and SWK kept it a secret between them only? I've read Dr. Chalk's comic on twitter, and one of their comics headcanon that Ao Lie didn't tell the rest of the pilgrims about the Samadhi fire in him because he's afraid they'll blame SWK for it. What do you think?

That's it for now. Sleep early, eat your meals regularly, and drink plenty of water!

ok 1) lmao true, Macky's spent most of s3 on the brink and s1&2 is just him projecting so yeah lmao (love him tho). and aside from MK, i think Mei is a huge contender for the breakdown category. Or Tang bc he was super anxious throughout s4. (imma go more in-depth about MK & SWK at the end of this post tho)

imma answer your Samadhi Fire question first: tbh i was originally inclined to believe that Ao Lie did try to keep the knowledge of the 4th ring underwraps for a long time (bc the angst is very fun). if he told SWK, he knew the monkey would blame himself. if he told the jttw crew, it would upset all of them. it's like how @lunar-wandering said in their post that Ao Lie is probably someone who would hide his injuries and troubles because if it is known, it is viewed as a weakness others can target.

then again, i doubt Ao Lie would withhold his physical injuries to the jttw gang because he trusts them, so it could be possible that he did tell them, but they all agreed to keep that secret between themselves. the AGAIN, i highly doubt Ao Lie would share his reasons for being exiled by his family, so he never told them until he felt he could no longer keep it together.

however, keep in mind that Wukong was aware of the 4th ring even in his amnesiac state. he was still with the jttw gang by this point, it was after the journey, and Wukong was aware. tbh, he sounded like he thought Pigsy was also aware, like he was reminding his companion that there are 4 rings not 3.

and, with that....imma have to go with Ao Lie did inform his friends but only his friends. was it immediately after the ritual? i doubt that. my opinion is that Ao Lie informed only after everyone in the group noticed a key change in their dragon-horse friend.

now, my beloved sunburst duo <3

i'm going to have to disagree with you, bestie. i don't think the MK vs SWK fight will to any full rejection. rather, i believe it will give both characters some form of understanding for the other. MK, as we have seen, has trouble separating Wukong from the hero pedestal he placed his mentor on. while he is more aware of the fact that Wukong has flaws and isn't perfect, he is still struggling with acknowledging the fact that his mentor did very bad things in his past, that he hurt people, that he is still hurting people (tho not intentionally). we see it with how he fought Ink!MK who unveiled those very dark and reclusive anxieties of his that he never wishes to acknowledge. we even saw it with how defensive MK can be over Wukong with Macaque and Azure.

on the flip side, SWK did not begin their mentorship with the intention of getting attached. he started this because he knew MK's potential and power, and it is very likely that he was aware that MK was a possible replacement for himself. Wukong keeps his distance in s1, only training the kid and taking his time to do so because he while he doesn't want to get close, he does want to ensure that MK will not fall into the same mistakes he did. unfortunately (for Wukong), the monkey grows attached.

Wukong sees MK's drive to train and be better and sees his own self reflected in it. but, again, he doesn't want MK to be like him. he wants MK to be a better version. a version that never thought to extend his life out of fear of losing his usefulness, a version that never tries to push his friends into situations they may not feel comfortable with, a version that does not feel the need to prove himself to Heaven.

honestly, my concept of their fight/breakdown will come to the fact that both MK and SWK fail to communicate their exact fears, anxieties, and intentions towards the other. MK feels like he can't even talk or vent to Wukong because that's his idol, and Wukong has brushed aside MK's anxieties in the past (MK's worries about Spider Queen for example. also i'm not saying Wukong does this with any malice intent; rather, it's his own way of trying to be optimistic. it just doesn't land well for MK unfortunately). Wukong feels like he can't open up because he sees the way MK looks up to him, he is very aware of his public image and reputation because...you know, he's immortal and has seen his and his friend's stories be told over centuries :)

and while Wukong has attempted to open up to MK post-s3, it's very slow and (more irritatingly) the plot isn't allowing them to have those private talks where they can hash out their shit.

(noooOOOOoooooOOO, swk had to be sucked into a cursed scroll and live through his worst memories, distorted or not, and MK had to be told by another old friend of his mentor that Wukong doesn't care enough about his friends to stay)

therefore, it looks like the only way both characters will even get a chance to air-out their issues will be shouting at each other, throwing physical blows, and maybe crying at each other (i hope so :3 i wanna see swk cry on screen please!)

HOWEVER: while this could lead to the 2 of them needing space with each other (which could lead to both or either of them spiraling about how the other person's rejected them and doesn't want them in their lives anymore), i highly doubt that this fight will be the end of their relationship. frankly, i think it will help give both characters some perspective on the other, work on themselves, and come back with new outlooks & healthier minds (maybe)

so yeah, those are my thoughts :)

[onepiece-oc-archives]

What would your suggestions be for writing large groups of characters like the strawhats (or any other pirate crew that your oc is in) including one or more ocs? That's so many characters...

Hi, thanks for you question!

I get the struggle. There are so many people to keep track of and I don't really know if I'm the best at it either, but I'll try to give you some tips:

First of all, I think it's really important to know the personality of all your characters well and have them be uique compared to each other - or use their similarities to your advantage. A sort of "they share a single braincell" situation. If you know the characters' personalities well, there's a higher chance that you'll have a clearer picture of what organic interactions would occur and how those people would act if you threw them into a room together.

Second: Not everyone has to say something all the time. This is one I have to remind myself of constantly, but it's true: Some people just tend to be more silent in conversations and some people just talk a lot. It's normal. Adding to that: Some people are just very active and all over the place and some fade into the background or keep to themselves. This also applies to characters. To make sure that those characters don't completely disappear from you reader's mind, maybe have your active character glance over at them for a second to remind you reader that that quiet character is still their. Not everyone has to be present all the time

Generally, the situation really depends on what kind of scene we're talking about. Is it a conversation? Refer to the thing I said above: Some people are quieter or louder by nature. Is it a fight scene? Group people together or intentionally drop lots of names and have everyone do everything at once to really get the chaos of the fight scene across.

One tip that I always maintain though is to focus on the differences and similarities between the characters in the cast and try to make everyone unique.

I hope this helped at all - I'm not really happy with this answer myself, but I tried ^^"

Have a lovely day!

[hesbuckcompton-baby]

Hiya love!

Could you please tell us the differences between Frankie and Susie regarding personality, understanding of the world, relationships, friends, and family?

Love you 🥰

Hiya! Thanks, anon - this is a wonderful question!! <3

-> Personality

Frankie's the optimist to Susie's pessimist and the extrovert to her introvert. Comparatively they're interesting, because at face value they're pretty much opposites, but really there's a lot they have in common when you look closely. They're both stubborn and blunt and unwilling to take other people's shit, and they're both full of love for other people to the point that it can become detrimental to themselves. The difference is really how they show these things and where that comes from - Frankie has an ultimately good-natured attitude about things, whereas Susie's definitely tainted by anger and bitterness from her past.

-> Understanding of the world

Frankie and Susie both come from working-class backgrounds, and this definitely affects their understanding of how the world works. They both know they'll never get anywhere in life without hard work and perseverance, but I think they view this fact differently. Frankie has grown up with the support of her father, who has definitely influenced her to value a good work ethic, so she's not daunted by the necessity for hard work. However, I think Susie's a bit more jaded by the idea. In Susie's eyes, her family has worked all their lives for a better future that's never quite arrived, and now the war has come and essentially put them right back where they started. Frankie grew up as the sole focus of attention in her family, whereas Susie was always just one of eight, and this has definitely affected their outlooks.

-> Relationships

Neither Frankie nor Susie have the best track record with romantic relationships. Frankie had a boyfriend for a few months when she was seventeen - it was a good relationship, but she was young and inexperienced in maintaining one, so it didn't last. She's not someone who's ever sought out a romantic relationship - she lets love come to her, and doesn't believe in rushing it. DeMarco is Susie's first serious relationship, full stop. To quote her, 'I've done the sex and the snoggin' and all that stuff but... no. Nothing serious'. As I'm sure we all know, emotional vulnerability is NOT Susie's strong suit, and it's very rare she feels comfortable enough to open up to someone enough to have a relationship with them

-> Friends

Making friends is easy for Frankie. I think she's a person who would be fine alone, but she's a very open, friendly person, and people get sucked in around her. Her key friendships are with George, Bucky, and Ken - none of which she initiated intentionally. Frankie is far from a perfect person, but she is ultimately a very likeable one. Susie struggles to be likeable. Befriending Susie is something you have to actively try at, which explains why she pretty much only has two friends in the world. Maeve and Charlotte both work under Susie's command, and it's really only through that proximity that she's been able to develop relationships with them. Susie is a person who firmly believes she can operate well alone (which is certainly not true), and she carries that belief with her, which means she's not opened herself to meeting new people.

-> Family

Frankie's family my beloveds <3 Frankie's dad is a really lovely man, and that's really fostered a positive environment in the Bevan family. Alice and Jill are a lot younger than Frankie, and she's at an age where she's essentially able to parent them, so a lot of her dad's parenting is coming through in the way Frankie interacts with the girls. They're a really tight-knit group, and so so lovely to write. Susie's family... where to even begin. I think I need to write a breakdown of Susie's relationships with each of her family members at some point, because they're all kinda miserable and estranged but in their own ways, and since there's so many of them I'll never be able to properly explore it all within the fic itself. Ellie's death pretty much destroyed Susie's relationship with her family, but it had never been great to begin with. Her dynamics with her siblings are largely positive, but the strain of growing up in such a large, confined family really does underpin a huge amount of their interactions as adults. The Lamb siblings were forced to be too close as kids, so there's an effort to distance themselves now.

[fagsystem]

I do request people use critical thinking skills before making assumptions about anything. This post specifically pertains to syscourse, but just anything. Please.

I have never, ever seen traumascum used by a pro-endogenic. I garantee you that the vast, vast, vast majority of the near non-existent use of the word was from troll accounts. Chances are, there are maybe like one or two pro-endogenics who use it, but there are also a lot of shitty people in every group.

Do you want to know what I have seen every single time it has come up? Countless pro-endogenics speaking up against it. I may have honestly seen about as many pro-endogenics say the word traumascum is bad as I have anyone in any other syscourse stances.

The idea of people calling others traumascum is making up a guy. I assume most of you who speak about it are not doing this intentionally, but you are still making up a guy and a fake senario to be mad at instead of addressing actual problems.

If you have seen it used, I want you to really consider whether or not the person who said it is actually pro-endogenic or if they are a troll. Anonymous asks using the word can essentially all be assumed to be a troll. Accounts popping up out of nowhere with minimal content except saying horrible things like traumascum can be assumed to be a troll. Trolls in this case are literally the personification of making up a guy to be mad at, it is most of the time an anti-endogenic wanting to have a guy to point at to go "Look! Pro-endogenics are evil!"

And this goes for many, many other things as well.

--

Hey. I found this open on our phone probably hours after i think tim(?) was writing it. I think he had more to say and that he wanted to make it clear this is not just about pro-endogenics being demonised for things that most of them literally have never done.

I'm not big on syscourse. I tried to finish this up with an equivalent analogue but nothing was comparable. Trying to find something that worked was sucking the life out of me. Syscourse is just painful nonsense.

(I will say I saw was something implying non-disordered systems and disordered systems (feel free to correct me on the terminology) face the same amount of discrimination. Which. No? I would assume social stigma would have a rather major overlap, but discrimination... No. The reason I'm saying it here is I refuse to make my own syscourse post.)

I guess I'll just expand on what Tim(?) said and just say that most of syscourse is built on a lack of reading comprehension and an inability to process context. Seriously, an anti-endo saying "endos aren't systems" means "its not possible to be a cdd system without childhood trauma" not "you're wrong about your experiences". A pro-endo saying "not every system is disordered" means "not everyone who percieves themselves to be multiple people/identities has a disorder" not "not everyone who has a complex dissociative disorder has a disorder".

That's it. I put too much effort into this anyway.

You proabably should hydrate.

- Don

[sparethedreamer]

Beginning with a rant because I gotta:

You can compare Long Covid to ME/CFS (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis) all you want. You can spread warnings and try to educate people and say "hey, I have a debilitating condition pretty much exactly like this! Please be careful! Let's please do something to try to solve both (because research for one will greatly benefit the other as well)!"

There's already a prequel to this story

The issue is, though, that me/cfs has been stigmatized and intentionally suppressed and ignored for decades at least. Governments, insurance companies, and healthcare systems has gotten away with such gross negligence, dismissal, gaslighting, and abuse of those with me/cfs. It's hard to advocate for yourself when you have awful symptoms and no energy, when you're struggling to keep yourself afloat financially, when there's a 2 out of 3 chance you're a woman (or afab or femme presenting, etc) and already face a great deal of oppression, marginalization, and skepticism from healthcare professionals.

So when a new chronic illness pops up during a pandemic, and its older sibling is That illness. The illness pushed as psychosomatic. The illness that has a counterproductive and harmful "treatment plan" that gets pushed. The "well I'm tired, too" illness (I mean, come on. 'Chronic Fatigue Syndrome' for something with a lower quality of life than heart disease, stroke, kidney failure, and freakin' some cancer! It has dozens of symptoms in various body systems, can range in severity from struggling to work full or part time, to bedbound in isolation, darkness, and silence, fully reliant on care and even tube fed. People have died from ME, though most pwME won't. Instead, they'll live on with no cure, little treatment, little financial and general support, and most won't know or care.

The most common illness you've never heard of

There's estimated to be between 17-24 million people with ME around the world. It's not rare. Anyone can get it. There's no cure. No one cares.

Despite all this, the me/cfs community has been there every step of the way with those with Long Covid, despite many wishing to distance themselves from us. Who'd want to be wrapped up in all that stigma and neglect? They'd rather be taken seriously.

They haven't, of course. Healthcare, governments, etc have worked hard to silence and discount them. Though there's only so much you can ignore and gaslight such a sudden and undeniable group of post-viral illness patients. Fortunately there's been a surge of research and funding (comparatively anyway) for both Long Covid and ME and we're very grateful and optimistic.

Love and Fear

However, seeing this post has me worried. On one hand, I'm estatic that Long Covid is getting more recognition! That's awesome and it's about time. I also have lots of respect and sympathy for those who have HIV/AIDS and I'm glad that over the years their treatment options, public awareness, and public opinion have been improving and I realize there's still leaps and bounds to go.

I'm just concerned that, especially reading absolutely no mention of me/cfs in the comments or tags (didn't read all of them, tbf, but I read a lot), that this is just an opportunity for everyone to re-distance away from me/cfs. To break the ties between long Covid and ME even further. To tie Long Covid to a "real" illness that's "more than just being tired so you can stay home from work and be lazy". I'm scared that ME/CFS will be pushed back into obscurity and research will stop being funded and people like me will continue to live and die with no hope for treatment, respect, or relief.

All in this together (like high school musical)

I don't want Long Covid to be only associated with ME. I don't want LC to be neglected and misunderstood like ME. I don't want to drag any illness or struggle down. I guess, I'm just asking if we, people with ME, can be included in this awareness? If we, along with our sibling illness, can receive some awareness, recognition, propulsion, and validation? If we can all work together to pressure the appropriate systems and organizations to provide funding, research, policies, and care for all of us?

Inviting my +1(0000)

And, um, there's more. A lot more. There are so many post-viral or autoimmune or other chronic illnesses that are ignored and neglected. This world and the systems set up in it aren't made for us and are often pitted against us and designed to push us into the shadows.

We're here. Can you take a second to see us? Consider us? Advocate for us? We're missing. Will you come find us?

Oh, and I guess since we're comparing things to AIDS

The circle has been completed, I guess. lol

(source)

[intimate-reaper]

I used to be a part of few servers, on the clear web, no hacking or dark web or even onion, very easy to find blogs from a host called Mastodon. And from there, there were groups for people to talk about their experiences with paraphilic disorders and I mainly used it to spread general check-ins and wholesome memes. Because the Internet sucks and I wanted to have a happy safe space for people like me. Because I was really struggling to accept my thoughts and attractions, that stemmed from abuse, and the conflation that having a paraphilia meant that you were a harmful and abusive person. I never want anyone to go through the exploitation I went through - and I wasn't exploited because someone was attracted to me. I was because someone wanted to abuse their power over someone vulnerable in age and mind and situation. I probably have made a few distasteful, vague posts about wishing I could act without causing harm, or saying that I found certain physical traits attractive, without any threats (intentionally). And I obviously did not share or downplay abusive content, I kept things safe for work. I wanted support. I felt people deserved that, especially if someone who is a minor was also struggling at least seeing an adult paraphile live a happy, normal life with optimism and a support network and goals might help them. I don't have the source but most pedophiles learn they're pedophiles when they're only 14. I don't want children who are only 14 to kill themselves; it should go without saying. But I started to notice a disturbing trend of people who called themselves "pro contacts", which essentially means abusing this support platform to solicit minors for abusive activity. I don't want to go into details because it's triggering and gross, but it's pretty much just explicitly advertising that any minor can message them for sexting and that if you are a minor you are in threat of being harassed by them. I hated these people. Why would they try to take away my safe space, where I could simply have a break from being stigmatized? Where they would rather harm others? Three people who I knew from the websites, repeatedly making off-putting and dangerous rhetoric in pro contact posts... Probably more than 3, and I'm about to look through my blocklist archives... Were exposed - unsurprisingly - for sexual exploitation material. I knew this would happen. And now entire groups, entire servers are being called into question by social media and law enforcement. I'm glad I left. I hated these people. I didn't want them in my community. And the one person I respected so much, too much (parasocial, and unfortunately had to leave due to splitting/bpd), was compared to a Nazi for just... Reporting these people. Trying to keep the community I needed safe. We didn't agree on everything. I still respect that person a lot even if we don't talk. But I miss what that space could have been. I wonder if there's anything that person could have done differently or how their side of things are going. Do they still have a server, a group at all? I don't know. I don't want to ask. Obviously this situation has been stressful to learn about accidentally. I recognize these abusers. They tried to be my friends. I feel gross. It makes me hate myself even more. I feel hopeless wondering if this is how this is always going to go. No wonder people hate me so much.

[argentdawntruthteller]

Aimed at COAD, PCU all Shitter Degens

I came back just to make this post so i can then dip again. Red Pill time: Yo im gon be real, i ain't played wow/RP'd on AD - wow in a year or two this is coming from somebody yall know i was part of RP Community for 8-9 years and coming back to see COAD/PCU posting makes me thankful I aint thankful because yall shittin on each other, I'm thankful because i ain't apart of that degen shit anymore, yall literally display the core definitition of "Failure to separate Character" and "OOC" you can't keep IC as IC and can't keep Warcraft as Warcraft. Yall literally RPing in a Fantasy game that dosen't exist thinking ur gaining +1 IQ from hunting each other over some nerdy ass online beef in a fantasy RP world that doesn't exist and it's goofy af to watch. Fr Imagine waking up, coming home from work and the first thing that crosses your mind isn't "Ayo, i should probably get some breakfast" or "Ayo I'm gon chill out, maybe hit "X" up to see what they're doing this weekend" it's the compulsive urge to hop online on some discord server or blog and post some degen post about something somebody's done in the past or has done at present on a fictional game. "H3h3h3 tyme to show the wurld haw bad these people awe!!!!" Literally the growing embodiment of late stage Psychosis, an inability to seperate the real world from a fantasy game to real life as to which said seperation contributes nothing to society or has any real life gains, RP gains or in game gains. You all need to touch grass i really feel for your all which is why i'm so thankful, most would argue "You can't say that I'm just passionate about the game and the community!!!" Which i get Wow RP/Lore is something I've always been a fan of and will continue to be a fan of and the community - nothing can compare. but let's be real this ain't passion it goes beyond that cancel me, come after me, report me, take what i say to heart, do what you gotta do i simply could not care - to tell you the truth, i couldn't give a shit, I'll always be real, so let's be real. What this is, is literally borderline obssessive autistic OOC beef that's developed into a full blown obsession in the community and an obssession between two distinct groups of people that simply do not like each other which is ultimately dividing yall and killing of said community which is why a lot of the OG's don't chill around anymore which in turn player after player follow suit. People make mistakes, people do shit things - sometimes those people do shit things intentionally and those mistakes aren't actually mistakes and it's a case of lil homies thinking their Jamal pulling out the 9's or they're "Him" when in real terms their actions gain them nothing in the community, nothing in RP, nothing in game - they're just some random ass goofy ass dude/girl in europe living rent free in somebody's head staring through a computer, rping in a game that dosen't exist as to which they have nothing to show for their actions in real life. The worse thing you can do is give these people attention, be it COAD, be it PCU be it some other shitter degen trying to make a name for themselves. When they realise how irrelevant they are and how less of a shit people give, they'll calm and check themselves. The take away from this if you are indeed a degen and have found this to be insulting, I'm afraid to inform you, you fr need to touch grass lil homie.

#Any other shitter Degen

[acti-veg]

I'm taking an environmental course this semester and one of the required readings ("The Ecological Indian: Myth and History" by Shepard Krech III) brought up some interesting points that I hadn't considered before that I thought should be part of the conversation when non Native American anti-vegans try to justify themselves using indigenous folk as a scapegoat for personal choices.

The book basically discusses and questions the validity of Native Americans being as truly environmentally conscious and as respectful of the earth as we as a society generally believe. It looks into the origins of that stereotype, and suggests that the idea that indigenous folk are more connected to nature stems from racist roots. To summarize, when colonization of North America began there were two stereotypes that arose surrounding indigenous people, the negative violent stereotype, and the more positive environmentally conscious stereotype. However, both still spawned from the idea that Native Americans were 'less advanced' than Europeans. Thus, the idea that indigenous folk are the idealistic examples of how humans and nature should interact is a racist characterature of actual Native Americans, and said Native Americans historically leaned into the stereotype because at the time it was helping pave the way for the environmental movement.

There are, of course, a lot of stewardship techniques and beliefs that are adapted from indigenous lifestyles and traditions that are used in environmental conservation to this day, so obviously non Native Americans can learn a lot about how to care for the earth from these groups, but I think that understanding this history puts a lot into perspective, at least for me. It certainly makes non-indigenous individuals using indigenous people as excuse to continue meat consumption that much grosser in context, considering it is just another way they are using yet another minority to fit their narrative regardless of how much it hurts said minority (in this case resorting to racism to make their point, intentionally or not). This of course, is made that much worse by the fact that Native Americans are amongst the groups that are most negatively impacted by the animal agriculture industry. Like, the absolute nerve of anti-vegans to act like they are preaching for these groups when end of the day they don't actually care enough to understand nuances of what they are arguing for or against.

Some great points raised here, and I'll definitely check out this book. I really think it all stems from this colonial idea that you can really say anything about 'indigenous people' and what they do or believe, as if they were some homogenous group and not a collection of peoples as diverse as any other continent. It's like trying to talk about the entirety of Europe in general terms, what we end up with is this simplistic, over-sanitised noble savage stereotype that just is not at all helpful to the cause of indigenous sovereignty.

Anti-vegans lean into this stereotype for one reason only: It serves their own narrative. Look at what happened when that misogynist cosplaying as an indigenous person put out that video about how 'veganism is colonialism,’ it was eaten up by hundreds of thousands of people without anyone bothering to really examine it. Compare that to the attention indigenous groups get when they oppose deforestation by cattle ranchers, or god forbid, talk positively about veganism in public?

It's just one more string in the anti-vegan bow, they use indigenous people as pawns. Just like quinoa farmers and crop pickers, their concern extends right up until these groups start saying things that don't reinforce their existing beliefs, and sometimes not even then. People didn't even bother to find out what the issue with quinoa was even supposed to be they just made up ‘quinoa child slaves’, and they didn't pay attention to the fact that cattle ranching was and is a key driver of the destruction of indigenous lands.

It's very depressing, but unfortunately we really can't have a constructive conversation about indigenous issues in relation to veganism until people on both sides (because I see vegans do this too) stop reducing indigenous people to an idealistic stereotype. We all need to stop supporting people who very clearly only bring up indigenous issues when it serves their own interests.

[karmatic-retribution]

agreed on understanding where antis are coming from, trying to understand the whole radqueer thing is a headache and near impossible. it's part of the reason why i stopped calling myself 'proship' because a lot of the people using that label nowadays also fall under the radqueer group which i do not want to associate with. it's very hard to find people who actually get the concept of nuance which is why i compared the two groups because they're the extremes of both sides. Luckily I have...not personally ran into any trans.x people yet and I dread the day I do because if someone called me cisautistic i would scream

I've already seen banners like "transautistic looking to transition" which is like... hun, no. You cannot transition into being autistic, either you are (diagnosed or undiagnosed) or you aren't at all 🤨

I don't wanna go down that rabbit hole cause I know people will probably show up and go "oh you're using the same arguments terfs do!!" which I'm really not because gender can be fluid where as race and mental illnesses are pretty much a result of decades long ancestory, but again that's a large rabbit hole I'd rather not put myself into.

A lot of radqueer folk use proship because they seemingly share the antiharassment ideals... that is until you leave a server because the owner self identified themselves as a MAP, then you'll get anons and throwaway accounts harassing you in your inbox intentionally trying to trigger you with sexual harassment and mentioning things you had listed as discomforts in that server 🙃

It's why I use profic and antihara labels, as well as my own coin of paracrit/paraneutral now. It's why I'm feeling obligated to use dni banners now. I feel unsafe associating with proship or propara because of how many of them decided we were a safe place for them.

The entire point of proship was for it to say in fiction. These people break that, and are becoming an uncomfortably large minority of the label, and so I don't want to stay there. Same with propara, cause as far as I'm aware propara started as "oh I'm okay with you just don't harm anyone", and now there's "proconsent"/"procontact"/"complex contact"/whatever the hell weirdos showing up there too. Even anti contact ive started to get uncomfortable with because I have no idea what they do irl, and they're still having thoughts about irl children/animals/etc and not feeling ashamed about that enough to get help for it.

Sorry for the long reply, the TLDR is that I'm way too uncomfortable with their existance to simply allow them around me. I'm too uncomfortable with them invading labels like proship and propara to associate with them anymore. I haven't gotten another throwaway account in my inbox yet, but I'm giving it not long before they notice and try to come after me again.

It's exhausting.

[unwelcome-ozian]

This might be too general of a question, but what's the impact of being raised in a cult / with cult-like beliefs? What is unique to someone in that situation that people who entered cults later in their life don't face?

I was hoping you'd have some answers as it's a bit difficult to find good resources for stuff like that (or I'm not looking in the right areas lmao). (for context, I was raised in a kinda-cult setting? still trying to figure it out, it's not well known and there's few stuff about it online. Plus other personal stuff)

Thanks! Hope life is treating you well!

One significant difference is those who were raised in a cult have no other outside experiences, perhaps influences, relationships, or other doctrines to compare the teachings to.

People tend to not intentionally join a cult. This is the reason if someone is told they are in a cult there is strong negative reaction.

Common Issues in Post-Cult Recovery

Sense of purposelessness, of being disconnected. They left a group that had a powerful purpose and intense drive; they miss the peak experiences produced from the intensity and the group dynamics.

Depression.

Grieving for other group members, for a sense of loss in their life.

Guilt. Former members will feel guilt for having gotten involved in the first place, for the people they recruited into the group, and for the things they did while in the group.

Anger. This will be felt toward the group and/or the leaders. At times this anger is misdirected toward themselves.

Alienation. They will feel alienation from the group, often from old friends (that is, those who were friends prior to their cult involvement), and sometimes from family.

Isolation. To ex-cult members, no one "out there" seems to understand what they're going through, especially their families.

Distrust. This extends to group situations, and often to organised religion (if they were in a religious cult) or organisations in general (depending on the type of cult they were in). There is also a general distrust of their own ability to discern when or if they are being manipulated again. This dissipates after they learn more about mind control and begin to listen to their own inner voice again.

Fear of going crazy. This is especially common after "floating" experiences.

Fear that what the cult said would happen to them if they left actually might happen.

Tendency to think in terms of black and white, as conditioned by the cult. They need to practice looking for the grey areas.

Spiritualizing everything. This residual sometimes lasts for quite a while. Former members need to be encouraged to look for logical reasons why things happen and to deal with reality, to let go of their magical thinking.

Inability to make decisions. This characteristic reflects the dependency that was fostered by the cult.

Low self-esteem. This generally comes from those experiences common to most cults, where time and again members are told that they are worthless.

Embarrassment. This is an expression of the inability to talk about their experience, to explain how or why they got involved or what they had done during that time. It is often manifested by an intense feeling of being ill at ease in both social and work situations. Also, often there is a feeling of being out of sync with everyone else, of going through culture shock, from having lived in a closed environment and having been deprived of participating in everyday culture.

Employment and/or career problems. Former members face the dilemma of what to put on a resume to cover the blank years of cult membership.

Dissociation. This also has been fostered by the cult. Either active or passive, it is a period of not being in touch with reality or those around them, an inability to communicate.

Floating. These are flashbacks into the cult mindset. It can also take on the effect of an intense emotional reaction that is inappropriate to the particular stimuli.

Nightmares. Some people also experience hallucinations or hearing voices. A small percentage of former members need hospitalisation due to this type of residual.

Family issues.

Dependency issues.

Sexuality issues.

Spiritual (or philosophical) issues. Former members often face difficult questions: Where can I go to have my spiritual (or belief) needs met? What do I believe in now? What is there to believe in, trust in?

Inability to concentrate, short-term memory loss.

Re-emergence of pre-cult emotional or psychological issues.

Impatience with the recovery process.

Post-Cult After Effects How to Be a Patient After You’ve Been in a Cult Raised in Cultic Groups: The Impact on the Development of Certain Aspects of Character What Do We Need to Know About Being Born or Raised in a Cultic Environment?

I'm doing alright. Thank you.

Take care,

Oz