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mdzsartreblogs · 2 years

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Recognizing AI Generated Images, Danmei Edition

Heyo, @unforth here! I run some danmei art blogs (@mdzsartreblogs, @tgcfartreblogs, @svsssartreblogs, @zhenhunartreblogs, @erhaartreblogs, @dmbjartreblogs, @tykartreblogs, and @cnovelartreblogs) which means I see a LOT of danmei art, and I go through the main fandom tags more-or-less every day.

Today, for the first time, I spotted someone posting AI-generated images (I refuse to call them AI "art" - and to be clear, that's correct of me, because at least in the US it literally LEGALLY isn't art) without any label indicating they were AI generated. I am not necessarily against the existence of AI-generated images (though really...considering all the legal issues and the risks of misuse, I'm basically against them); I think they potentially have uses in certain contexts (such as for making references) and I also think that regardless of our opinions, we're stuck with them, but they're also clearly not art and I don't reblog them to the art side blogs.

The images I spotted today had multiple "tells," but they were still accumulating notes, and I thought it might be a good moment to step back and point out some of the more obvious tells because my sense is that a LOT of people are against AI-generated images being treated as art, and that these people wouldn't want to support an AI-generator user who tried to foist off their work as actual artwork, but that people don't actually necessarily know how to IDENTIFY those works and therefore can inadvertently reblog works that they'd never support if they were correctly identified. (Similar to how the person who reposts and says "credit to the artist" is an asshole but they're not the same as someone who reposts without any credit at all and goes out of their way to make it look like they ARE the artist when they're not).

Toward that end, I've downloaded all the images I spotted on this person's account and I'm going to use them to highlight the things that led me to think they were AI art - they posted a total of 5 images to a few major danmei tags the last couple days, and several other images not to specific fandoms (I examined 8 images total). The first couple I was suspicious, but it wasn't til this morning that I spotted one so obvious that it couldn't be anything BUT AI art. I am NOT going to name the person who did this. The purpose of this post is purely educational. I have no interest whatsoever in bullying one rando. Please don't try to identify them; who they are is genuinely irrelevant, what matters is learning how to recognize AI art in general and not spreading it around, just like the goal of education about reposting is to help make sure that people who repost don't get notes on their theft, to help people recognize the signs so that the incentive to be dishonest about this stuff is removed.

But first: Why is treating AI-generated images as art bad?

I'm no expert and this won't be exhaustive, but I do think it's important to first discuss why this matters.

On the surface, it's PERHAPS harmless for someone to post AI-generated images provided that the image is clearly labeled as AI-generated. I say "perhaps" because in the end, as far as I'm aware, there isn't a single AI-generation engine that's built on legally-sourced artwork. Every AI (again, to the best of my knowledge) has been trained using copyrighted images usually without the permission of the artists. Indeed, this is the source of multiple current lawsuits. (and another)

But putting that aside (as if it can be put aside that AI image generators are literally unethically built), it's still problematic to support the images being treated as art. Artists spend thousands of hours learning their craft, honing it, sharing their creations, building their audiences. This is what they sell when they offer commissions, prints, etc. This can never be replicated by a computer, and to treat an AI-generated image as in any way equivalent is honestly rude, inappropriate, disgusting imo. This isn't "harmless"; supporting AI image creation engines is damaging to real people and their actual livelihoods. Like, the images might be beautiful, but they're not art. I'm honestly dreading someone managing to convince fandom that their AI-generated works are actual art, and then cashing in on commissions, prints, etc., because people can't be fussed to learn the difference. We really can't let this happen, guys. Fanartists are one of the most vibrant, important, prominent groups in all our fandoms, and we have to support them and do our part to protect them.

As if those two points aren't enough, there's already growing evidence that AI-generated works are being used to further propagandists. There are false images circulating of violence at protests, deep-fakes of various kinds that are helping the worst elements of society to push their horrid agendas. As long as that's a facet of AI-generated works, they'll always be dangerous.

I could go on, but really this isn't the main point of my post and I don't want to get bogged down. Other people have said more eloquently than I why AI-generated images are bad. Read those. (I tried to find a good one to link but sadly failed; if anyone knows a good post, feel free to send it and I'll add the link to the post).

Basically: I think a legally trained AI-image generator that had built-in clear watermarks could be a fun toy for people who want reference images or just to play with making pseudo-art. But...that's not what we have, and what we do have is built on theft and supports dystopia so, uh. Yeah fuck AI-generated images.

How to recognize AI-Generated Images Made in an Eastern Danmei Art Style

NOTE: I LEARNED ALL THE BASIC ON SPOTTING AI-GENERATED IMAGES FROM THIS POST. I'll own I still kinda had the wool over my eyes until I read that post - I knew AI stuff was out there but I hadn't really looked closely enough to have my eyes open for specific signs. Reading that entire post taught me a lot, and what I learned is the foundation of this post.

This post shouldn't be treated as a universal guide. I'm specifically looking at the tells on the kind of art that people in danmei fandoms often see coming from Weibo and other Chinese, Japanese, and Korean platforms, works made by real artists. For example, the work of Foxking (狐狸大王a), kokirapsd, and Changyang (who is an official artist for MDZS, TGCF, and other danmei works). This work shares a smooth use of color, an aim toward a certain flavor of realism, an ethereal quality to the lighting, and many other features. (Disclaimer: I am not an artist. Putting things in arty terms is really not my forte. Sorry.)

So, that's what these AI-generated images are emulating. And on the surface, they look good! Like...

...that's uncontestably a pretty picture (the white box is covering the "artist's" watermark.) And on a glance, it doesn't necessarily scream "AI generated"! But the devil is in the details, and the details are what this post is about. And that picture? Is definitely AI generated.

This post is based on 8 works I grabbed from a single person's account, all posted as their own work and watermarked as such. Some of the things that are giveaways only really show when looking at multiple pieces. I'm gonna start with those, and then I'll highlight some of the specifics I spotted that caused me to go from "suspicious" to "oh yeah no these are definitely not art."

Sign 1: all the images are the exact same size. I mean, to the pixel: 512 x 682 pixels (or 682 x 512, depending on landscape or portrait orientation). This makes zero sense. Why would an artist trim all their pieces to that size? It's not the ideal Tumblr display size (that's 500 x 750 pixels). If you check any actual artist's page and look at the full-size of several of their images, they'll all be different sizes as they trimmed, refined, and otherwise targeted around their original canvas size to get the results they wanted.

Sign 2: pixelated. At the shrunken size displayed on, say, a mobile Tumblr feed, the image looks fine, but even just opening the full size upload, the whole thing is pixelated. Now, this is probably the least useful sign; a lot of artists reduce the resolution/dpi/etc. on their uploaded works so that people don't steal them. But, taken in conjunction with everything else, it's definitely a sign.

Those are the two most obvious overall things - the things I didn't notice until I looked at all the uploads. The specifics are really what tells, though. Which leads to...

Sign 3: the overall work appears to have a very high degree of polish, as if it were made by an artist who really really knows what they're doing, but on inspection - sometimes even on really, REALLY cursory inspect - the details make zero sense and reflect the kinds of mistakes that a real artist would never make.

So, here's the image that I saw that "gave it away" to me, and caused me to re-examine the images that had first struck me as off but that I hadn't been able to immediately put my finger on the problem. I've circled some of the spots that are flagrant.

Do you see yet? Yes? Awesome, you're getting it. No? Okay, let's go point by point, with close ups.

Sign 4: HANDS. Hands are currently AI's biggest weakness, though they've been getting better quickly and honestly that's terrifying. But whatever AI generated this picture clearly doesn't get hands yet, because that hand is truly an eldritch horror. Look at this thing:

It has two palms. It has seven fingers. It's basically two hands overlaid over each other, except one of those hands only has four fingers and the other has three. Seeing this hand was how I went from "umm...maybe they're fake? Maybe they're not???" to "oh god why is ANYONE reblogging this when it's this obvious?" WATCH THE HANDS. (Go back up to that first one posted and look at the hand, you'll see. Or just look right below at this crop.) Here's some other hands:

Sign 5: Hair and shadows. Once I started inspecting these images, the shadows of the hair on the face was one of the things that was most consistently fucked up across all the uploaded pictures. Take a look:

There's shadows of tendrils on the forehead, but there's no corresponding hair that could possibly have made those shadows. Likewise there's a whole bunch of shadows on the cheeks. Where are those coming from? There's no possible source in the rest of the image. Here's some other hair with unrelated wonky shadows:

Sign 6: Decorative motifs that are really just meaningless squiggles. Like, artists, especially those who make fanart, put actual thought into what the small motifs are on their works. Like, in TGCF, an artist will often use a butterfly motif or a flower petal motif to reflect things about the characters. An AI, though, can only approximate a pattern and it can't imbue those with meanings. So you end up with this:

What is that? It's nothing, that's what. It's a bunch of squiggles. Here's some other meaningless squiggle motifs (and a more zoomed-in version of the one just above):

Sign 7: closely related to meaningless squiggle motifs is motifs that DO look like something, but aren't followed through in any way that makes sense. For example, an outer garment where the motifs on the left and the right shoulder/chest are completely different, or a piece of cloth that's supposed to be all one piece but that that has different patterns on different sections of it. Both of these happen in the example piece, see?

The first images on the top left is the left and right shoulder side by side. The right side has a scalloped edge; the left doesn't. Likewise, in the right top picture, you can see the two under-robe lapels; one has a gold decoration and the other doesn't. And then the third/bottom image shows three sections of the veil. One (on the left) has that kind of blue arcy decoration, which doesn't follow the folds of the cloth very well and looks weird and appears at one point to be OVER the hair instead of behind it. The second, on top of the bottom images, shows a similar motif, except now it's gold, and it looks more like a hair decoration than like part of the veil. The third is also part of the same veil but it has no decorations at all. Nothing about this makes any sense whatsoever. Why would any artist intentionally do it that way? Or, more specifically, why would any artist who has this apparent level of technical skill ever make a mistake like this?

They wouldn't.

Some more nonsensical patterns, bad mirrors, etc. (I often put left/right shoulders side by side so that it'd be clearer, sorry if it's weird):

Sign 8: bizarre architecture, weird furniture, etc. Most of the images I'm examining for this post have only partial backgrounds, so it's hard to really focus on this, but it's something that the post I linked (this one) talks about a lot. So, like, an artist will put actual thought into how their construction works, but an AI won't because an AI can't. There's no background in my main example image, but take a look at this from another of my images:

On a glance it's beautiful. On a few seconds actually staring it's just fucking bizarre. The part of the ceiling on the right appears to be domed maybe? But then there's a hard angle, then another. The windows on the right have lots of panes, but then the one on the middle-left is just a single panel, and the ones on the far left have a complete different pane model. Meanwhile, also on the left side at the middle, there's that dark gray...something...with an arch that mimics the background arches except it goes no where, connects to nothing, and has no apparent relationship to anything else going on architecturally. And, while the ceiling curves, the back wall is straight AND shows more arches in the background even though the ceiling looks to end. And yes, some of this is possible architecture, but taken as a whole, it's just gibberish. Why would anyone who paints THAT WELL paint a building to look like THAT? They wouldn't. It's nonsense. It's the art equivalent of word salad. When we look at a sentence and it's like "dog makes a rhythmical salad to betray on the frame time plot" it almost resembles something that might mean something but it's clearly nonsense. This background is that sentence, as art.

Sign 9: all kinds of little things that make zero sense. In the example image, I circled where a section of the hair goes BELOW the inner robe. That's not impossible but it just makes zero sense. As with many of these, it's the kind of thing that taken alone, I'd probably just think "well, that was A Choice," but combined with all the other weird things it stands out as another sign that something here is really, really off. Here's a collection of similar "wtf?" moments I spotted across the images I looked at (I'm worried I'm gonna hit the Tumblr image cap, hence throwing these all in one, lol.)

You have to remember that an actual artist will do things for a reason. And we, as viewers, are so used to viewing art with that in mind that we often fill in reasons even when there aren't. Like, in the image just about this, I said, "what the heck are these flowers growing on?" And honestly, I COULD come up with explanations. But that doesn't mean it actually makes sense, and there's no REASON for it whatsoever. The theoretical same flowers are, in a different shot, growing unsupported! So...what gives??? The answer is nothing gives. Because these pieces are nothing. The AI has no reason, it's just tossing in random aesthetic pieces together in a mishmash, and the person who generated them is just re-generating and refining until they get something that looks "close enough" to what they wanted. It never was supposed to make sense, so of course it doesn't.

In conclusion...

After years of effort, artists have gotten across to most of fandom that reposts are bad, and helped us learn strategies for helping us recognize reposts, and given us an idea of what to do when we find one.

Fandom is just at the beginning of this process as it applies to AI-generated images. There's a LOT of education that has to be done - about why AI-generated images are bad (the unethical training using copyrighted images without permission is, imo, critical to understanding this), and about how to spot them, and then finally about what to do when you DO find them.

With reposts, we know "tell original artist, DCMA takedowns, etc." That's not the same with these AI-images. There's no original owner. There's no owner at all - in the US, at least, they literally cannot be copyrighted. Which is why I'm not even worrying about "credit" on this post - there's nothing stolen, cause there's nothing made. So what should you do?

Nothing. The answer is, just as the creator has essentially done nothing, you should also do nothing. Don't engage. Don't reblog. Don't commission the creator or buy their art prints. If they do it persistently and it bothers you, block them. If you see one you really like, and decide to reblog it, fine, go for it, but mark it clearly - put in the ACTUAL COMMENTS (not just in the tags!) that it's AI art, and that you thought it was pretty anyway. But honestly, it'd be better to not engage, especially since as this grows it's inevitable that some actual artists are going to start getting accused of posting AI-generated images by over-zealous people. Everyone who gets a shadow wrong isn't posting AI-generated images. A lot of these details are insanely difficult to get correct, and lots of even very skilled, accomplished artists, if you go over their work with a magnifying glass you're going to find at least some of these things, some weirdnesses that make no sense, some shadows that are off, some fingers that are just ugh (really, getting hands wrong is so relatable. hands are the fucking worst). It's not about "this is bad art/not art because the hand is wrong," it's specifically about the ways that it's wrong, the way a computer randomly throws pieces together versus how actual people make actual mistakes. It's all of the little signs taken as a whole to say "no one who could produce a piece that, on the surface, looks this nice, could possibly make THIS MANY small 'mistakes.'"

The absolute best thing you can do if you see AI-generated images being treated as real art is just nothing. Support actual artists you love, and don't spread the fakes.

Thanks for your time, everyone. Good luck avoiding AI-generated pieces in the future, please signal boost this, and feel free to get in touch if you think I can help you with anything related to this.

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javiscigarette · 1 year

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Ease

Javier Peña x f!reader

Requested:

requesting… daddy!javi comforting u after a stressful work day 👀 pls n thank

warnings: no use of y/n, established relationship, fingering, squirting, spitting, spanking, a bit ass play (I cant resist), dirty talk, daddy!javi obviously, d/s dynamics obviously, extreme overuse of pet names and I'm not sorry, fluffy Javi deserves its own warning

w/c: 5.3k

a/n: the long overdue Javi fic is finally here lmao I wrote this very quickly and I haven't written for him in a long time so it may not be my best but I'm honestly just proud that I finally got something out :)) pls let me know if you like it!! ALSO! I reached 1.5k followers awhile ago which is just mind blowing so I just wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone who has joined me and continues to support me. This blog and all the friends I've made here have helped me through some pretty rough times and I'm forever grateful AHHH I just you all soo much!!

my masterlist

You’re not there to greet him when he opens the door. Usually you’d have a glass of whiskey in your hand for him, already a little tipsy from the glass you had for yourself earlier.

There’s a unpleasant shiver that runs down his spine as the thought of you being in some sort of danger immediately crosses his mind. But the sound of you puttering around in the kitchen gives you away. That and the haze of smoke and smell of burnt food wafting through the entire apartment.

He kicks his shoes off and loosens his tie as he rounds the corner to the kitchen to find you standing in front of the stove, tending to what he assumes is some chicken in a pan. The exhaust fan on the range hood and the ceiling fan are working overtime, pushing the smoke out of the kitchen and through the open window.

“Hi, bebita” Javi says as he enters the smokey kitchen. You don’t say anything in response, just give him a quick sideways glance before turning back to the stove.

He crosses the room and moves to stand behind you. Maybe if he had seen the frown on your face, or the way your eyebrows are deeply creased in frustration, he would’ve said something very different.

But he didn’t see.

“Dinner smells delicious” he teases, squeezing your hips. He’s expecting a little chuckle from you, or at least an annoyed eye roll with a hidden smile.

So he’s caught very off guard when you slam the spatula down on the counter with a loud, frustrated sigh.

“Well I’m sorry that I tried to make a nice meal. Guess I’m fuckin’ useless at that too.”

You try to push yourself out of his grasp, but his grip only tightens.

“Hey okay okay, easy.” Javi soothes, turning you around so you’re facing him. “What’s wrong, bebita?” he asks, his tone immediately switching from teasing to soft and tener.You puff out a heavy sigh, refusing to look up at him and staring at his white shirt stretched across his chest instead.

All the thoughts about your horrid day at work that you’ve been trying to block out break the damn and come flooding back into your head; your boss telling you that you fucked up two different major tasks and refusing to tell you how to do them correctly, catching your coworkers gossiping about you in the breakroom, your computer dying right before you could save any of the work you had done for the day, and how you tried to come home and cook as a distraction but you clearly forgot about the chicken sitting on the stove and almost caught the house on fire.

You hadn’t even noticed the tears welling up in your eyes until Javi is wiping away the ones that have brimmed over and slid down your cheeks.

“Cariño…” Javi whispers, his tone drenched with concern. That’s all it takes. You instantly break down, falling forward into Javi’s chest as your whole body shakes as you sob, your tears wetting the crisp fabric of his shirt.

You tell him everything in between wet gasps and uneven breaths, unloading everything at once. He just holds you through it, nodding along and giving you an occasional understanding hum while running his palms up and down your back until you finish talking.

“Your boss is an asshole” is the first thing Javi says. “Your coworkers too”

You respond with a pathetic sniffle. “I really fucked up though. And now everyone thinks I can’t do my job”

"Bebita,” Javi starts, continuing to rub soothing circles on your back. “Everyone has tough days at work. It doesn't define your abilities or your worth. You're so much more than a single bad day."

You sniffle again, still leaning heavily against him for support.

"It's just... I'm tired of feeling like I'm constantly failing."

Javi clicks his tongue and moves one hand to use two fingers to gently tilt your chin up, making you meet his easy gaze.

"You're not failing, mi amor. Sometimes things don’t go as planned and that’s okay. You're learning and growing."

You wish he wasn’t so right all the time. Sometimes talking back to the false narrative that runs rampant in your head 24/7 is too much work.

"I know” you sigh, wiping away tears with the back of your hand. “It’s just hard not to let it get to me."

Javi's thumb brushes against your cheek, his touch gentle and comforting.

"I understand. Just remember you're not alone in this. I’ll always be here for you, my sweet girl”

You manage a weak smile, feeling a bit of warmth starting to seep back into your heavy heart.

“Thank you” you whisper.

Javi smiles warmly, his eyes full of admiration and unwavering support.

“Of course, baby. I’m here for you always. No matter what.”

You let your head fall back to his chest and you take a deep breath. He keeps rubbing your back, physically feeling the tension leaving your body as you melt against him. Without your brain in overdrive, you finally register the smell of his faded cologne and his cigarettes sticking to his shirt, the scent immediately washing away more of the tension in your muscles. The warm feeling in your chest starts to spread all the way down to your toes, your whole body feeling 10 times lighter than it did 5 minutes ago as his embrace brings you a sense of solace you hadn’t experienced all day.

After another silent minute or two, he places a kiss to your hairline before leaning in close, his voice dropping to a husky whisper.

“You know, there’s another way to forget about it for a little while.”

His low voice alone already has the base of your spine tingling. You pick your head up to meet his gaze, a mischievous glint dancing in his eyes.

“Yeah?” you ask, a weak smile slowly spreading across your face.

“Mhmm” he hums, his hands sliding down to your waist and slipping under the hem of your shirt, his warm fingers splaying over your skin.

"You've had a tough day," Javi continues, his voice a sensual murmur. "And I think you deserve something to take your mind off all that stress."

His words, laden with suggestion, push all the worries out of your body, replacing it with a thrill that courses through your veins. He leans in until his face is inches from yours, his breath warm against your skin. "Let me take care of you, bebita."

All you can do is nod dumbly. Javi grins as he pulls you in closer. His lips capture yours in a slow, tantalizing kiss, his lips soft and warm against yours, the taste of him flooding your senses. His hands slide up from your waist to your rib cage, rucking up your shirt in the process. Every touch sends a jolt of electricity through you, drawing you impossibly closer to him. He pulls away just long enough to pull it over your head before his lips capture yours again.

He wraps one arm around you, keeping you close as his other hand cups your jaw, his fingers curling around the back of your neck as his thumb mindlessly brushes your cheek. Your hands find their way to his back, fingers tracing the lines of his muscles beneath the fabric of his shirt.

He swipes his tongue across your bottom lip and you part your lips with a soft sigh, his tongue immediately sliding against yours. It’s a dance of desire and vulnerability, an unspoken promise that he’s here to take away all of your worries. The rest of the world quickly fades into a distant blur, leaving just the two of you in this electric connection.

His lips eventually leave your mouth, his breathless chuckle fanning across your jaw at the sound of your quiet whimper. He trails wet kisses along your jaw, down to the side of your neck, each one accompanied by a soft exhale that causes goosebumps to erupt over every inch of your skin. The sensation is exquisite and maddeningly arousing, and you find yourself tilting your head back, giving him better access.

His teeth gently graze over your pulse point, sending shiver coursing through your entire body. Your heart races as he finds a spot just below your collarbone, nipping and sucking before soothing the dark spot with his tongue. His hands roam your torso, big, warm palms exploring every inch of exposed skin. You can feel the bulge in his jeans rapidly grow against your hip and your core throbs with a dull ache in response. Everything that happened earlier is miles away as you feel yourself relaxing deeper into his embrace, losing yourself in him.

He pulls away when you whine quietly and looks down at you, his pupils already blown with lust and desire. He tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear then ducks down to place a chaste kiss to your lips before whispering “Bedroom. Now.”

You nod and turn to head out of the kitchen, letting out a small giggle when he lands a quick slap to your ass. His eyes are glued to your backside as he follows you to the bedroom, his fingers deftly unbuttoning his shirt along the way

You flop down on the edge of the bed with Javi just a few steps behind you. He tosses his shirt to the corner of the room and starts working on his belt as he stalks towards you. You smirk and reach behind you, undoing the clasp of your bra and letting it slide off your arms. Javi licks his lips at the sight of you sitting there in only your soft cotton shorts, looking like he’s about to pounce on his prey.

He crosses the room until he’s standing inches in front of you, then slips his belt out of the loops and tosses it aside. You reach out, intent on undoing the button and zipper of his jeans but he stops you by wrapping a large hand around your wrist before you can touch him.

“Nuh uh, baby. I’m takin’ care of you tonight”

His words send a strong pulse of excitement down your spine and your heart pounds in your chest. He lets go of your wrist and you let it fall limply back to your side as you stare at him through your lashes.

“Take off your shorts.”

You immediately follow his command, quickly standing and moving to slide your shorts and panties down your legs so fast that you stumble a bit when they get caught around your feet. Javi reaches out and grabs your arm to steady you as you step out of your shorts and kick them to the side.

“Good girl” he chuckles, dropping his hand from your arm. You watch with wide eyes, saliva gathering in your mouth as he shuffles out his jeans, his hardened cock gently slapping against his lower abdomen. He catches your gaze and gives you a knowing wink before making his way onto the bed. You stand in place, patiently waiting for your next set of instructions as he props himself up against the headboard.

“C’mere” he says softly, patting his thigh. You positively beam as you climb on the bed towards him. You face him and you’re about to straddle his lap, but he stops you with a hand on your hip.

“Turn around, cariño.”

You listen and immediately turn around and sit down between his spread legs, pressing your back into his chest. His cock presses firmly into the small of your back, a warm and welcome presence. With a contented sigh, you lean back and rest your head on his shoulder.

“You listen so well, baby” Javi rasps, his voice rough with arousal. You only hum in response, your lips curving into a grin as you glow under his praise. He presses a kiss to your temple and his hands find your torso once again, slowly sliding up and down your sides. But he can only resist temptation for so long.

He uses both hands to cup your breasts and you both let out soft sighs in unison.

“Tan bonita, princesa” he whispers, his fingers finding both of your nipples. A small noise escapes from your parted lips as he feathers the pads of his fingers over the sensitive buds, teasing you until they’re stiffened peaks. He then pinches both, gently rolling them between his thumb and fingers.

“That feel good?” he asks softly, his lips moving against your temple.

You nod, letting out an uneven breath as you involuntarily push your chest forward into his touch. He pinches a little harder, pulling a delicate gasp from you. His cock twitches against you in response.

“Want you to use your words, bebita.”

You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself before responding.

“F-feels good, Javi.”

He clicks his tongue and squeezes a little harder again.

“And what do you call me when I’m makin’ you feel good, princesa?” he asks, his voice dangerously low in your ear.

Your mouth goes dry and your heart skips a beat in your chest.

Fuck.

The stress of your day was already far in the back of your mind, but Javi was intent on erasing it completely. And he knows exactly how to do so.

“Daddy” you correct yourself, the simple word placing you on precipice of submission “Feels really good, daddy”

“That’s right, bebita” Javi groans softly, his cock twitching in approval. “Such a good girl for me.”

He then hooks his chin over your shoulder while you exhale a long, shaky breath as one of his hands leaves your breast and slides down your stomach. You clit pulses in anticipation, but he avoids where you want him most and instead smooths his hand over the top of your thigh. Your chest heaves with every breath as he teases you with gentle touches, getting you all worked up just the way you both like it.

“You want me to touch you, princessa?” Javi asks, his fingertips dancing delicately on the inside of your thigh. It tickles and you reflexively try to close your legs, but he brings his foot to the inside of your calf and pushes it to the side before placing his foot flat on the bed, keeping your leg firmly in place. “Answer me.”

“Yes, daddy, please” you whine, your voice coming out a lot more desperate than you intended.

“Where, baby? Tell me where you want daddy’s fingers.”

He’s teasing you, but it serves as an excellent distraction – the events from earlier today are the least of your concerns right now.

“You want them here?” he asks, his fingers now just barely tracing your dripping seam. “Want me to touch your pretty little pussy? Rub that pretty little clit?”

You nod fervently and buck your hips up without thinking, your body betraying your patience and chasing after his touch. Javi chuckles darkly and harshly pinches your nipple with his other hand, making you jump in surprise.

“Tell me, baby. Be a good girl and tell me.”

You whimper, a hot flush spreading across your chest and creeping up your neck. You’ve been here a thousand times with him, been in far more desperate situations too. But the butterflies still tickle your tummy and the tips of your ears burn with embarrassment.

“Want…want you to touch my pretty little pussy, daddy.” you murmur, the last of your sentence barely audible.

He immediately rewards you by dipping two fingers into your slippery folds, groaning softly in your ear when he feels how wet you are for him. “Mmm that’s my good girl. Always fuckin’ soaked for me, huh?” he asks, dipping the tips of his fingers into your hole, gathering your slick and dragging it up to your clit. You nod lazily, your eyes fixed on his hand between your legs.

He starts with slow, languid circles, his cock pulsing against your back with every small noise that bubbles up out of your throat. His other hand is still occupied with pinching and rolling your nipple. Hot arousal flows through your veins, every nerve ending on fire just from his easy touches. You want it faster, you need more. But you know he won’t give it to you unless you ask.

“Pl-please, daddy. Faster please” you huff, squirming in his lap as you try to suppress the urge to buck your hips up again.

“Look at you, princesa. Being such a good girl asking’ nicely like that” Javi whispers, instantly picking up the pace of his fingers and adding more pressure. You let out a long, low moan, the sound of it filling the bedroom. “Sound so pretty too” he adds, pressing his lips to your temple.

His other hand leaves your nipple and he shushes you softly when you whine at the loss. He doesn’t tease you this time, his hand immediately joining the other between your legs. He keeps his two fingers on your clit, rubbing firm circles just like you asked while his other hand finds your leaking entrance.

He doesn’t make you ask again before he slides his middle finger inside of you, probably more out of his own desperation to feel you clenching around him. You’re absolutely soaked, you juices freely flowing out of you, down his finger and into his palm like warm honey. He wants to draw it out, slowly work you up until you’re about to snap, but he’s not feeling very patient anymore.

He slides his finger in and out of you a few more times before adding a second, curling his fingertips. He finds the spot inside of you instantly and you reward him with a loud gasp, your whole body trembling as you relax against his chest.

“That’s it, baby. Just relax for me” Javi coos, his voice tight and strained as he tries to contain his own excitement. He pumps his fingers inside you, his fingertips nudging against the spot that has your whole body jolting with every pass. Every inch of your skin feels on fire as he works you, lewd sounds filling the room as he plays with your slick pussy. You feel wetness on your back and quickly realize that it’s his precum leaking from his warm tip, smearing against your skin as you squirm around.

“Mierda, princesa” Javi groans as you clench tightly around his two fingers. “You close, baby?” he asks, already knowing the answer. You answer with a high-pitched whine, throwing your head back on his shoulder.

“Cum for me, baby” Javi grunts, moving his fingers faster, bringing you to the edge. “Cum all over my fingers and then I’ll fuck you, nice and deep just how you like it”

His fingers are relentless, rubbing dizzying circles on your clit and punching up into your g-spot. You can’t hold back anymore, rocking your hips and grinding down on his fingers. Your chest burns with every breath you manage to suck in, the hot coil in your tummy wound tightly, threatening to burst at any moment. You open your mouth and try to tell him that you’re about to cum, but every time you try to speak, the only sounds that come out are loud gasps in-between broken moans.

And then you finally snap. Javi groans as you clamp down around his fingers, so tight that he can hardly keep moving them. He then quickly pulls them out, his eyes wide with amazement as your juices gush out of you, drops of it landing on his leg, most of it soaking the blankets underneath you.

“There’s my good girl” he hisses between clenched teeth. He watches intently as you thrash around, the sight of you squirting and the sweet sounds of your moans going straight to his cock as he works you through your orgasm. He doesn’t let up until you come down, whimpering and jolting at his touch.

You collapse backwards against his chest, your head on his shoulder as you pant and try to catch your breath. He goes back to tracing your seam, his touch featherlight once again. You let out a sigh, your limbs heavy and head fuzzy with pure ecstasy.

He eventually moves his hands away, placing them on your thighs and letting out a low whistle.

“Did so well, princesa. Look how much you came for me” Javi rasps, nosing at the column of your neck.

You pick your head up, looking down at the aftermath of your orgasm. You laugh breathlessly at the dark spot underneath you and the liquid on Javi’s calf shining in the dim glow of the lamp on the bedside table. Javi’s chest rumbles with his own chuckle as he presses sweet kisses to the sensitive skin of your neck.

He doesn’t give you much time to recover before he taps your thighs and gives you your next command. “Hands and knees, princesa.”

You’ve barely had time to catch your breath, but your pussy still aches in anticipation of his earlier promise. You take a deep breath and find enough strength to sit up straight. Your limbs are weak and noodly as you crawl over to a dry spot on the bed and get into position, your ass in the air with your face pressed against the soft blankets.

You crane your neck to watch Javi who flashes you a devilish grin as he assumes his position on his knees behind you. You give him a sweet smile back and wiggle your ass. And he takes the bait, groping your cheeks with both hands before he spreads you open, putting everything on display just for him.

“Fuckin’ gorgeous, baby.” he growls before leaning over to spit. You gasp and moan softly at the feeling of the warm liquid landing on your asshole and sliding down to pool at your swollen clit. He then brings his thumb up, using the pad to gently rub his saliva against your puckered hole. “So fuckin’ gorgeous”

“Daddyyyy” you whine pitifully, pushing your hips back into his touch. He chuckles breathlessly and wraps a hand around the base of his cock and lining himself up.

“You’re so good, baby.” Javi starts as he slides his cock in the mess between your cheeks. “My strong, beautiful, intelligent, good girl.”

Your face heats up at the praise, the words stirring up the butterflies in your stomach yet again.

“Thank you, daddy” you murmur, the sound muffled by the blankets. Javi just hums and continues to glide his cock through the wetness, addicted to the way whimper every time his cockhead brushes against your swollen clit and your aching entrance. You whimper and wiggle your hips again, trying to get what you want.

“Repeat it.” Javi commands simply. “Wanna hear you say it”

You squeeze your eyes shut and whimper again. He’s completely taken over your headspace now, forcing you into a place of submission where there’s no room to think about anything other than him and what he asks of you. This is how he takes care of you, how he can turn every bad day on its head and take away every single one of your worries until you’re a blissed out mess underneath him. And he’s really fucking good at it.

“I’m your strong, beautiful, intelligent, girl” you choke out, a fresh wave of slick gushing out of you and onto his rock hard cock at the forced admission.

“Forgot one” he breathes, his thumb still rubbing at your tight little hole. You wrack your brain, thoughts moving slower than syrup in your head as you try to remember what he said not even 10 seconds ago.

“Good.” you say, as soon as you remember. I’m you’re good girl, daddy.”

“Yes you are, baby” Javi says, notching his tip at your entrance. “So fucking good for your daddy.”

He pushes all the way in, burying himself to balls deep in your aching cunt in one smooth movement. The sounds you make are obscene as you twist your fists in the blanket underneath him. He’s so deep, you swear you can feel him somewhere near your lungs. Just like he promised. He moans roughly behind you, the feeling on your warm walls squeezing rhythmically around his neglected cock overwhelming all of his senses.

But you don’t let him catch a break. You barely give yourself time to adjust before you take matters into your own hands and start rocking your hips, fucking yourself on his cock. Javi inhales sharply, both hands finding your hips and trying to hold you in place, but you’re not having it.

“Daddy please–oh shit– please fuck me, need it so bad” you whine as you continue to rock your hips despite Javi’s best efforts to stop you.

Javi just growls in response, his fingertips digging into your hips as he slides out until just his tip rests inside before slamming back into you. The loud moan that he pulls from you travels as a shiver down his spine and fuels his fire. He quickly finds a steady pace, brutally slamming into you like he’s fucking the stress out right out of your body. You let all the moans and whines and whimpers float freely out of your mouth as you take what he gives you, as he fills you up and stuffs you full over and over and over again.

“You're so good for me” Javi grunts, gripping your hips and moving them backwards to meet his every thrust. “Feel so fucking good squeezing me like that, this tight little pussy was fucking made for me”

Your eyes roll back into your head, his words once again turning your brain into mush as he fucks you into another plane of existence. You’re already teetering on the edge of another release, your lower abdomen burning with it, your swollen, neglected clit pulsing and desperate for attention.

And Javi feels it too.

“Already gonna cum again?” Javi asks breathlessly before landing a smack to your ass. You yelp in shock and there’s another wave of your juices leaking out onto his cock.

“Ohh you like that, don’t you baby?” Javi coos before spanking you again, this time a bit harsher. Your face scrunches in pleasure and words have completely eluded you so you just cry out against the mattress, hoping that and your clenching pussy gets the point across.

Thankfully Javi doesn’t ask you to answer him. Instead he keeps fucking into you, delivering firmm hits to your ass, completely mesmerized with the way it jiggles as he spanks and fucks into you. He’s just as close as you are, never lasts very long if he’s inside without cumming at least once beforehand.

He moves one hand from your hip to between your legs, his fingers tracing where you’re stretched out so nicely around his thick cock before they land on your clit once again. You sob as he starts immediately rubbing fast, harsh circles that send you speeding towards the finish line.

“Oh fuck, daddy! Gonna cum m’gonna cum pleasssee let me cum”

Javi sucks in a harsh breath, his eyebrows furrowing together as his cock lurches inside of you.

“Yeah, fuck yeah, baby. Cum on this cock like a good girl” Javi grits out, the muscles in his jaw twitching as he clenches his teeth together, trying to hold himself together. Your hands scramble against the blankets as he slams into you with newfound vigor, pushing you up the bed with each thrust and making you scream in ecstasy.

“Cum and then I’ll fill you up” he grunts. “I’ll fill you up and fuck it so deep that it’ll be leaking out of you for days, just reminding you of how good you are for me. Always so fucking good baby jesus christ”

His filthy promises send you flying over the edge. You bury your face in the blankets and scream, your legs giving out from the force of it, your hips dropping to the bed and leaving you in a prone position. And Javi doesn’t miss a beat. He presses his chest against your back, using his freehand to support the bulk of his weight as he keeps working his fingers on your clit the best he can, not letting his pace falter even once.

The new position shoves his cock even deeper inside of you, punching against your cervix with each thrust as he rearranges your guts. Your only option is to lie there let him drag out your release for as long as possible.

“That’s it” Javi rasps, his voice sounding absolutely wrecked now. “Sweet little pussy is fuckin’ milking my cock, cariño. You want my cum? Want me to stuff you fuckin’ full?”

You’re too far gone to respond, reduced to nothing but putty in his hands, your trembling body limp and pliant just for him to use. He can only hold it together for a few more thrusts before he buries himself all the way inside of you, spilling his hot seed deep inside of you.

Staying true to his promise, he fucks you through it, shallowly moving his hips and pushing his cum as deep as possible. You can feel his cock throbbing inside of you, the sensation of it all pushing you over the edge once again, though you’re not sure if you ever came back from the last one. Javi watches in amazement as you cum again, your voice breaking on desperate sobs while you squeeze around him, truly milking him for all he’s worth.

He moves his hand from your clit once your moans start to die down and then collapses on top of you, carefully though as not to completely crush you. You welcome the weight, a comforting pressure that makes you feel so warm and safe and secure.

He stays buried inside of you as you both come down. You can feel his heart pounding from where his chest is pressed against you, his warm breath fanning across your neck as you both try to catch your breath. The two of you stay there for a while, basking in the post coitus glow. His cock softens inside of you and he only moves when his cum starts to dribble out of you.

You whine softly as he moves to sit up, his now soft cock slipping out of you and leaving you feeling empty. But the feeling doesn’t last too long.

He scoots back so he’s kneeling between your legs, both hands on your cheeks and spreading you open again. You feel his eyes burning holes into your skin as he watches his cum slowly leaking out of you. He doesn’t let it fall too far though, using a finger to scoop up all that’s dribbled out and pushing it back inside. You moan softly at the sensation and it takes everything in him not to fuck you with his fingers once again.

“Think we need to get you in a nice hot shower” he says, his tone sweet and soft once again as he removes his fingers.

You turn your head to look at him through hooded eyes, a dopey smile plastered to your face, looking completely fucked out.

“And we’re ordering take out too” he announces, leaning over to place a sweet kiss on your cheek. Images of the burnt chicken sitting on the stove float through your head, along with fuzzy memories of the events from earlier today. But you don’t give a single fuck anymore. Javi thoroughly wiped every ounce of stress from your brain. And now anything that isn’t directly related to you and Javi at this moment, on your shared bed in the dim light of the evening sun filtering through the curtain is far, far away.

“We’re not getting fucking chicken” is all you say and the sound of yours and Javi’s laughter rings pleasantly through the room and in your ears as content seeps deep into your bones.

I LOVE THIS MAN okay thank u for reading <333

#javier pena smut #javier pena x reader #javier pena fic #javier pena x you #javier pena #narcos #narcos fic #pedro pascal characters #javiscigarette

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weebsinstash · 8 months

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I know the show isn't out yet but Stayed Gone is stuck in my head and I'm chugging my yandere Vox juice so hard right now. I think he has the capacity to be absolutely insufferable

---for starters THE SPYING POTENTIAL WITH THIS MAN. You're telling me he can directly plug himself in to the city power grid and see through all televisions, potentially even phones and computers too? Could he put himself on your phone and start going through your texts? Could he even just put himself on your phone real quick while you're sleeping to check in on you? You couldn't even have privacy in your own home because of whatever screens are around he could potentially shoot himself to or watch you through. Imagine just being in your apartment completely alone and he's suddenly on your tv. Like what if you had just been sitting there topless or with your dick out or something or 👀 I mean. He could see so much, really...

---God honestly like. You know I keep mentioning the Instagram without ever attaching pics or anything because I'm on mobile and I'd have to use the hazbin Instagram archive blogs here on tumblr to go find them back like, you know Val would openly post the meanest shit, would literally post Vox's face being busted up because he woke Val up from a nap or i think it was he literally just brought him the wrong soda (which to be fair was taken from Velvet and was half empty), and then you go over to Vox's account and his pic was taping his pieces back on while being really frustrated and kinda lowkey looking like he would cry

Like Val's out here "women are stupid also men are stupid too" and talking about how he adopted a dog and killed it within like 48 hours and here's Vox celebrating his pet's birthday with cake and a party like. Why are these men together. Why. Why. Don't get me wrong I love to be the involuntary third in a toxic codependency but--

look all I'm saying is... do any of you get really really upset when you see someone being mistreated, especially more so a friend of yours?

READER JUST LOSING THEIR SHIT GETTING FERAL ANGRY SHOUTING AND SCREAMING AT VAL BECAUSE HE PULLS SOME SHIT and like that's IT for you because 1. Valentino might like actually backhand you one as well, do you think he wears rings so it hurts, 2. Vox sees you defending him and like, it's based on your own preferences really but if he wasn't already gaga this CEMENTS it and 3. especially if he watches you have to take a blow for trying to stick up for him. Like what if you cry. I have a low pain threshold, I'd be sniveling and crying at the least. Valentino storms off and Vox is helping peel you off the floor cause you curled up into a ball or some shit and he's sitting there thinking "wow they suck at this but they still did it for me 🥺"

---during his song with Alastor, it's a little confusing because they show an actual camera crew when he's turning the TVs on, but i think it's pretty clear that he can control whatever the screens show visually, thus his little zany sketches and being able to talk to himself and at one point, showed the visual of himself blocking the radio Alastor was projecting on right next door. I can just see him using this to kind of.... fuck with you, really! Or do whatever he wants? He's trying to suck up to you and he's surrounded by roses, or you're his co-host/guest host and he thinks your joke was funny and gives a little audience laughter as a treat

Or you know... you're running from him down the street, passing all these different screens and displays as they power on and show things like, him "jumping in front of you" while demanding you stop or, trying to show some kind of blackmail publicly, or just, begging you to just ACCEPT HIM and showing you all the fun things he could do with you, "cmon, I said I was sorry, stop freaking the fuck out! We can- we can do that thing you've always wanted to do, what about that?!" as he tries to project you two doing something fun, but most importantly, doing it TOGETHER. You're running from him terrified and he's showing you images of like you two smiling and happy or, it becomes scarier as he's more desperate

"Don't-don't make me do something fucked up!! I'm serious, STOP RUNNING" and he's like freaking out, showing shit of trying to hold you down, tying you up, and/or shoving you into a locked room

Sudden thoughts of "what if the more emotional and unstable he becomes, the less he can control his intrusive thoughts and shows his more impulsive darker desires". He's tweeking and the screen glitches and you briefly think you see yourself completely restrained, blindfolded, gagged--

---he's just like OBVIOUSLY so prideful but also immature and whiny ("who gives a shit about alastor?" Well you, mr hes just quietly minding his own business and I'LL start beef because i feel threatened and STILL LOSE, like awww my poor little pogchamp got publicly humiliated in an argument HE started out of nowhere, he's my little sad wet baby lmaoooo) and we already know his relationship with Val can become physically abusive, so, you pair him staying in that kind of relationship, being codependent, with this personality of his, and I can just see.... ACTUALLY FUCKING TRIGGERED LIKE LITERALLY CRYING UPSET VOX BECAUSE YOU REJECTED HIM like he's pissed he's hurt he's lonely he's heartbroken and HELL NO IS HE GONNA ACCEPT THIS

Vox would be over here proudly claiming on his TV show that NO HE REJECTED Y O U, not the other way around! He's not upset! He's totally fine! Meanwhile everyone watching can tell this man is manic and visibly hotboxing copium, "I didn't even really like you anyways!!.... no, I mean, shit, fuck, COMMERCIAL BREAK--" *cut to technical difficulties screen because the man is CRYINGGG*

-- Valentino and Reader bonding over teasing Vox and making him flustered and of course, obviously, the inverse. I still kinda like the idea of "they both think you're cute but like nothing exciting until one night they bump into you unplanned and you're all dressed up". Like Val is from the 70s or 80s so they go to a roller rink disco whatever kinda place because I'm sure the coke game there is INSANE and you're just like, swaying your hips spinning around to Let It Whip or September or something dressed in some shorts that make your ass look just right 🤌

You're sneaking back into the studio after a night out and they're both lounging somewhere and Val's like "uhhhh who is THIS coming in without saying hi to Daddy?" and you pull your sunglasses down like "SIR??? 😳" And now HE'S flustered because he didn't know that was you and Vox is feeling some new kinda way because he's used to seeing you in like, your work uniform or casual wear

Val who then makes your work uniform really slutty and you have to serve him and Vox wearing it 😩❤️

---I have this thought of like lmao imagine walking down the sidewalk with Angel and seeing Vox on TV and Angel is like "ya know he can see everything outta dese things when he's plugged in" and you're like "bullshit, he couldn't possibly process that many screens at once, it'd overload his brain, he wouldnt be able to concentrate" and you're like "here I'll prove it, hey Vox, check it out you fucking dweeb" and flash him your bare titties or you MOON HIM

scenario A would be that he INSTANTLY barks out laughing, "hey Val, that dumb slut who brings you drinks just flashed me!" And he just totally shows it on the air, maybe partially censored, maybe not at all, your phone is ringing IMMEDIATELY, of COURSE it's Val, and Vox is broadcasting your mortified embarrassed expression, "our big story tonight: drunk bimbo fucks around and finds out! More updates after this word from our sponsor!" and the man will noooootttttttt stop bullying the fuck out of you afterwards, because he's got a crush on you and you're like someone weaker than him his insecure ass can punch down on

Scenario B is that he instantly turns pink and about 5 seconds later he blue screens and the entire city experiences a blackout and when he comes back on the air he's like stammering and, glancing at, it FEELS like he keeps glancing at you, but, is he really?

------

I dunno... like I'm sure Valentino is gonna wind up being unstable in his own way but I guess there's a certain, ALLURE to Vox being a little bratty and whiny while also having these very VERY handy, actually quite scary abilities and resources 👀 like boy show me what that screen do 😫💦

#yandere hazbin hotel #yandere x reader #vox x reader #yandere vox x reader #sinprompts #yandere stuff

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siffrins-therapist · 3 months

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👾censoredmandibiles Follow

OK time to settle something

EDIT: this post WAY ended up breaking containment. GO CLUTCH YOUR PEARLS ELSEWHERE

🦑tentacleovi Follow

YO FREE BLOCKLIST IN THE NOTES HOLY SHIT

#RIP OP's notifs #i don't go here but i suggest making popcorn before diving into those notes #some of it is puritan bs you'd expect #some of it is discourse i never even knew existed

41.6K Notes

🕷️friendofcharlotte

I think a painting my friend got at a thrift store was painted by Mr. Italy Veneziano? Is there a way to authenticate it? Google isn't helping.

⭐wishonadeadstar Follow

Try here. Turns out my nan's portrait of her farmhouse was originally painted by Mr. Romano when he was living in NY during the 1920's.

🕷️friendofcharlotte

THANK YOU

8 Notes

📽️bisexuallightinggoggles Follow

hey yo so the US rep put like 100 hours into playing that game Spiritfarer just this week... anyone want to go check on the guy??

💿newagepirate Follow

There are literally government workers who's literal job it is to check on him

⛰️lesbianmothernature Follow

how tf do you know he put 100 hours into playing a game anyway????

📽️bisexuallightinggoggles Follow

We're friends on Steam. He adds like everyone who asks.

And for everyone in the notes asking what Spiritfarer is it's one of those cozy simulator games here's the trailer.

#isn't the 'deathiversary' of his friend Davie this week? #i'm definitely not the first person to think of that #okay looking at the notes was a mistake #like i'm not one of those ppl who puts #'DNI if your username makes fun of davies death' but #immortal or not #even if it happend centuries ago #you can still be sad your FUCKING FRIEND DIED

12.3k Notes

🥾hikingawayfrommyfeelings Follow

So if I become a citizen of Ladonia can he just... visit me through my computer?

🦝trashypanda Follow

He gets mad when you summon him :(

🦘callmejoeythewayi Follow

"summon him" Like a fucking demon?

🫒shrekbignaturals Follow

We are NOT rehashing that old discourse.

🎱magic8saveme Follow

Oh god I just revived my blog after escaping x/twitter and last time I saw that disk hoarse, my dash was just post after post of this for DAYS

🪄magictrio-dropout

#was there actual discourse about whether the nation-people were demons? #cuz the discourse i saw on my dash was #whether tales of things like demons vampires and #other immortal or 'came back to life' creatures #were born from when the nation-people resurrecting #or like #doing creepy stuff

IDK about tumblr or the first bit (I've personally never heard that at least not from anyone being serious) but the other stuff has been debated in academia for decades! One of my literature professors is ADAMANT that the vampire myth can be traced to old folklore about the reps and them reviving and possibly the blood-drinking comes from an evolution of the myth when before, old stories talked about blood soaking the earth where vampires rose. If anyone's interested, here's where you can find my professor's paper about it.

🎃warongayxmas

So like. *grabs a bat and slowly approaches a hornet's nest* Then does the Jesus story have the same roots then?

🫒shrekbignaturals Follow

WE 👏 ARE 👏 NOT 👏 RE 👏 HASHING 👏 THAT 👏 DISCOURSE👏

🥾hikingawayfrommyfeelings Follow

Wtf happened to my post???

#so did OP become a Ladonian citizen or what?

187.4k Notes

🐦‍pinchforawish Follow

MY DAD GOT TO SEE MR ENGLAND LIVE BACK WHEN HE WAS IN A PUNK BAND

🐦‍pinchforawish Follow

TUMBLR WTF HOW TF DOES THIS VIOLATE GUIDELINES

🏴dinotonugget-deactivated

Finally. Proof that the site runs so shittily bc Mr. Eyebrows works for staff

🫎moosecrossing Follow

Spoke the truth and got fucking killed for it

67.9 Notes

#hetalia #fake tumblr dash #dashboard simulator #i thought of the poll and just had to make another one of these lmao

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gin-juice-tonic · 7 months

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I feel like maybe I should state this outright, forgive me for sort of repeating myself in a way.

It is not my plan to leave my new art off tumblr forever.

I just want the folks who run the site to address the many going concerns users have with the fact that they're apparently selling our blogs' contents for scraping now. I want them to provide a concrete assurance that their "partners" will not access and use the content of those who don't want them to. I want them to make the option to provide our data opt-in as opposed to the opt out model theyre currently pushing (which some people STILL after like 10 days havent been able to do), so that inactive blogs who can't flip the toggle, or people who just don't know about the deal don't get their stuff sold.

I don't feel comfortable having my art here when this website seems intent on undermining the wishes of its users and going against their values while generating money off them at the same time.

This website has been my internet home since like 2012, I'm fond of it's userbase, and I don't WANT to be forced out of it.

I want to post my stuff here, because I like you guys. But at the moment I just can't trust this place nor can I approve of the way its trying to treat its artists.

(also if you're like me and you don't like the decisions this site has been making, ANY decisions, please leave feedback. And BE NICE. The people who read them arent the people who make the decisions. You just want your feelings to be known, not to bully the person on the other side of the computer)

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ms-demeanor · 8 months

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HELLO i have been directed here from @/unpretty bc im on a HUNT for a post from i dont even know how long ago that i now do feel like you may have made - it detailed the actual causes of computers slowing down and how to boost computers so they work again/better and also mentioned ram vs cpu vs memory and i feel like i remember it mentioning what specifically to buy and then crack open your computer to add to make it faster and it wasnt what i expected - ive HUNTED through your blog but tumblr search is WHIMSICAL AT BEST so nothing showing BUT pls inform if you remember this and if you may possibly still have it available - i didnt see it in the posts linked in your pinned and i know you apparently delete stuff every so often so idk if it even still exists but my laptop from like 2015 (yes its old yes im attached) is running at 100% cpu and is about as quick as dialup and i Cannot afford a new machine rn but still want to enjoy The Internet Outside Of My Phone so if said post IS gone ill take any and all advice you have available please and thank you and you rock and keep being awesome and ur mafia coffee shop experience was a delight at 1am <3

Oh hi hello yes this just made me realize it would be a good idea to add that post to the links in my pinned post.

Here's the version of that post with all the advice about linux and info about firefox added to the end.

And just in case you or anyone else needs it here is the information about specs and expectations for buying a computer (this was put together in 2023 but the information in it is still valid; just make sure you're checking processor generations)

Thanks for reading and I'm glad that coffee shop is still entertaining people all these years later.

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hibiscuslovecandles · 3 months

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ᯓᡣ𐭩 LOVER BOYᯓᡣ𐭩|Twst First Years

Genre:Fluff,crack,AU, GN!Reader Warnings: Smoking weed,Alcohol consumption,Might be ooc this was the first thing i wrote, not proofread, Let me know if there's any warning I missed! Note: I wrote this some time ago lol I'm just trying to get this out my notes

❤️Summer of 2003. The three months where you were sent to the Rose Kingdom to stay with your grandma and aunt because you didn't give them enough calls.

❤️So there you were following around your aunt, grandma, and your grandma's boyfriend around a barbecue because you literally didn't know anybody there due to not having visited since you were like what 11?You're pretty sure the entire neighborhood is present considering the amount of people here.

❤️The same 4 people were going in and out of the gate to the backyard they looked about your age, you could socialize with them but that'd be more work than it's worth, they've probably known eachother for years and have dynamics already so it's probably best not to intrude

❤️Absorbing in the atmosphere of this place filled you with a sense of nostalgia the smell of hotdogs, the fairylights hanging from the porch,the worn down paint of the fence, the chatter of neighborhood drama that you don't understand, the kids around with pixie sticks, the styrofoam cup of cold knock off Coca Cola in your hand, the famous foldable chairs, the fact that you know when you wake up the next day you'll be covered in mosquito bites, all these things brought a warm feeling to your chest. Maybe this summer won't be so bad you thought as you lay in the hammock.

❤️You were so in peace that you didn't hear the sound of the house next doors dog barking.

❤️Almost in a snap of a finger you fell off the hammock hitting the ground when a group of boys jumped over the fence and into the barbecue.One of the boys having knocked you off the hammock during his escape. You only saw the back of the head of the guy who threw you on the grass without even apologizing as you got up. Orange hair.

❤️Two red heads, A young man and a middle aged woman, yelled “ACE” at the orange haired boy but he didn't hear either or them because of adrenaline or he didn't care because he just hopped into the next backyard with his friends following.

❤️The two red heads along with your aunt,granny,and granny's boyfriend hurried over to you and asked if you were alright which you were, No concussion or anything still they were apologetic, The ginger man in the sense that he was trying to be polite and the ginger woman in the sense she was cussing out this Ace kid

❤️The next day while you were in your aunt's office updating your MySpace blog on her computer your grandma called you downstairs where the the three gingers were waiting in the living room with the middle aged woman grumbling, the ginger man looking tired, and the boy that knocked you over looking annoyed that he was being forced by his mom to apologize to you.

❤️And thats how you met your boyfriend.

❤️Not how you got with him though…

❤️You two actually became pretty good acquaintances after that, no real hostility towards eachother, the reason why he was hopping fences was because he was running away from his friends house after his friends dad walked in on them drinking beer….it wasn't even cold beer.

❤️Whenever your grandma would send you to the convenient store to get her some ointment you'd always pass the basketball court on your skateboard and wave to Ace and depending on what he was doing he'd notice and wave back

❤️On your way back to granny after getting her ointment with the money she gave you Ace stopped you and asked you about your skateboard and if you could teach him how to skateboard, considering the fact you had really nothing else to do other than play a singular game on your phone, Update your blog, Listen to your Grandma's weird ass lore, Watch your trash reality television, Deal with your aunt's bitchy complaining, and sit in awkward silence with your grandma's boyfriend,you agreed resulting in you two swapping emails, numbers and MySpace's.

❤️You both made arrangements to meet on Saturdays at the skatepark since he only stays with his mom and brother on the weekends, trying to help him balance on your skateboard but his stubborn ass being persistent that he could do it and didn't need you to hold his hand like a baby... he ate fucking dirt without using you as a rail he was dickhead but in a boyish dirtbag way where it was entertaining enough you didn't completely wanna murder him and still went back to your place and tossed a band aid at him whenever he'd scrap his knee.

❤️Because you're such a excellent teacher he actually got pretty decent at skateboarding and the two of you managed to convince his mom after alot of begging to buy him a skateboard. You helped him decorate the skateboard at his place almost immediately after it was bought and helped him paint and put a punch of stickers on it.

❤️A skateboard with a swirling black and white checkered stair case pattern, a heart at the center with “TRAPPOLA” across it in ransim letters and a bunch of stickers from childhood shows like Scooby-Doo,Rugrats,Pink Panther,etc. It was a fun thing! So fun infact you two still hung out even after he got the handle of skateboarding

❤️You’d let your Granny and aunt know that you were going to the basketball court they knew you were just going there to hang out with Ace since you've never shown any interest in basketball in the past,Your aunt was far more hesitant on letting you hang out with Ace than your Granny considering your first encounter with Ace, while your Grandma just didn't want you to grow up to be a old lonely hag and to be like her so she actively supported the idea of you hanging out with him and for you to stop being single like she used to. You'd just sit on the bench at the basketball court cheering him on and dodge the occasional basketball flung at you.

❤️“This ones for you!" Ace shouted as he pointed at you, going to shoot,….he missed completely causing you laugh your ass off and him flipping you off, just usual banter between the two you, you made it up to him by buying him some Cheetos with your own money at the local convince store. You had a crush on this guy…You don't know if you had a crush on a loser or if you were the loser for having a crush on him all you know is that you liked spending time with him to the point you spent the entire day with him doing dumb shit around the neighborhood. You two had to book it back home once the street lights were on since that meant you two were gonna get fucking yelled at for being out that late

❤️You ended up getting dropped off first and as you hurriedly pulled out the key to your Grandma's baby blue house you felt a pair of lips press against your cheek before running noises you whipped your head to see Ace rushing away. You call out to him “Date on Saturday?” “If I'm not grounded!”

❤️And that's how you got your boyfriend.

❤️When you found out he'd be attending Night Raven College in the fall you were nervous since you two already lived pretty far away from eachother with him being from the Rose Kingdom and you being from Port Jubilee and knowing how things ended with his ex but Ace reassured you that he likes you enough that he'll message you everyday after classes end and that he'll try to get permission to go to your town to go on proper dates.

❤️And he does message you! He updates you on how his school life is going, sends pictures of his friends and a weird cat monster thing, and complains about his housewarden to you.

❤️You managed to get into contact to his friends Deuce and Yuu on MySpace!They were suprised that Ace of all people had someone i mean look at you!You're a beauty then theres just some guy :/ but hey you guys would exchange school drama letting eachother know what was happening at eachothers schools and they'd update you on dumb shit Ace did that he left out of his story on how his housewarden was being “unreasonable”

❤️Missing Ace has got you scrolling through your blog and Ace's looking at photos taken at dates from over the summer and just hitting you with nostalgia like your first date at the arcade and desperately trying to best eachother at DDR, that one date where he tried teaching you basketball, the date at where you swam in the river where your aunt,granny, granny's boyfriend and his mom and brother were present, Oh! Then there was the date where you two just laying on his mom's couch sipping on cold beers his mom forgot to lock up watching COPS on her TV, then that's the photo of the date where the two of you were being a inconvenience to the 7/11 employee by making slushies and filling them up with candy and overall just dicking around that the two of you eventually calmed down from by just laying on your backs on the abandoned train tracks in the woods.God you need this again.

❤️You actually like this guy enough that you have polaroids of him and you not even on dates just doing regular shit like cooking,walking, him playing basketball, skateboarding, flipping eachother off, holding hands, kissing,etc. All of these polaroids you decided to post on your blog in a messy pile resulting in Ace jokingly calling you obsessed with him despite him having taken some of those polaroids, Yuu complimenting the photos and thinking they look cute, Deuce still being confused Ace managed to bag ya know YOU, and some of other Ace's friends like Epel, Jack, and Cater finding you through Ace's friend list on MySpace and seeing your blog post and asking you ALOT of questions

❤️When he visited your place during winter break for a date it was the first time your parents met Ace, the only way they knew about him was through you showing them pictures of him and your aunt and grandma telling them about him. He tried to make a good impression while also trying to add a bit of his own personality mixed in there causing you to cringe and your parents to be even more wary about him. You told Ace to go upstairs while you tried to explain to your parents that Ace is a good guy you swear!

❤️Maybe your parents had a right to be worried…You two smoked weed in the locked bathroom while Ace helped you dye your hair a pretty color with the new Eminem album that Ace brought in his baggy pants playing from your CD player on the toilet lid. You two kept updating eachother on eachothers lives despite you two already knowing what was going on due to the daily messages it was just nice to talk to eachother face to face again that you two were just saying things the other already knew.

❤️It was nice to just hold and kiss eachother on the now wet bathroom floor with Ace simply playing with your hair lovingly staring at you admiring the new color. The open bathroom window not helping with the weed smell, you know damn well your parents are gonna flip at the two of you so you just lean your head against his chest and ask him to stay with you in the bathroom and he agrees, the two of you just dozing off in the tiny cramped bathroom.

❤️You got grounded for the weed and your parents took away your stash and your parents didn't want you to be with Ace anymore…That didn't stop you from sneaking out with Granny as your alibi to continue seeing Ace.

❤️Thats your bitchass boyfriend Ace Trappola.

♠️Middle school in 2001. Your dad is stingy and sends you to a public schools even though he 100% could afford to send you to a private schools but you couldn't care too much since if you went to a private school you wouldn't have your elementary school crush Deuce!You've had a crush on him since first grade but you were too shy to tell him or have your friend send him flowers you picked on the playground during recess!You've never spoken to him but It's the first day of middle school you can't wait to finally talk to him and see him aga-

♠️Hes blond now? Is all you think as you saw him near a group of delinquents at the start of the year assembly staring at him strangely trying to get used to seeing him with blond hair now, this must be a new development since you lived across the street from him and didn't see him with blond hair until now, you didn't know he hung out with that crowd?Maybe it happened over the summer he just didn't seem like the type to hang out either these kind of kids hell he even had a customized jacket so he was in deep.

♠️This was all you and your friend could talk about the first few weeks into middle school, Deuce always seemed like a good kid with his little rabbit lunch box and Spiderman sketchers but now he's in a tween gang, It just was a suprise is all didn't stop you over swooning over him.

♠️Your friend not showing up to school was also new development, you did ask them if something was going on at home or if they were being bullied which they evidently denied and told you not to press them on the topic if you still wanted to be friends so you didn't push for details just letting them know you're there for them….and you may or may not have voiced your concerns to the school counselor. The next day your friend showed up covered in bruises some of which look infected yelling their head off at you in the school hallway you weren't raised to take this so naturally you yell right back at them causing a screaming match between the two of you making the teachers split you two up.

♠️During 3rd period you glanced out the window in the door and see your friend walk into the bathroom with a group of delinquents following behind them, this immediately caught your attention and asked the teacher to head to the bathroom, you walked into the bathroom and saw your friend being pushed head first into one of the bathrom sinks. You immediately stood between your friend and the person who pushed your friend…it was Deuce. You spat hurtful words at him and his eyes softened in guilt for a second before his hands became fists and he punched you in the face with his delinquent buddies behind him cheering but sadly for him your dad didn't raise no bitch and always told you to aim for the throat.

♠️This landed you both in the principal’s office covered in bruises with a snarl painted on your face and a pout on Deuce's with your dad and his mom. His mom trying to apologize to your dad and the principal for the trouble but your dad was still hyping you up and giving you advice for your next fight with someone. Deuce still got 2 weeks suspension and you didn't face any real consequences other than detention so you basically won the fight.

♠️You and Deuce were not allowed to be in the same clasees and the school factually made sure that the two of you didn't run into eachother but since the two of you lived across from eachother glares were exchanged between the two of you but not fights happened after school. Luckily Deuce and his gang stopped picking on your friend after the situation and if they did start doing to again they know damn well you are not afraid to swing.

♠️To say the least you hold grudges. You didn't have a crush on him after the situation.

♠️Not the best first impression from your boyfriend not how you got with him though:/

♠️2004 White Rabbit Festival, You and your friends decided to attend I mean you guys have nothing better to do so might as well go and have fun right?

♠️You greeted Deela,Deuce's mom, at the White Rabbit Delivery booth when you got there despite her asshole son she's a very kind woman you can't believe such a delinquent came from her must've been from his dad's side

♠️You and your friends ran off to dick around other places in the park before deciding to head on over to the folk museum and inside you run into none other than Deuce Spade in full Rabbit get up something you hadn't seen since elementary school,with some people that were presumably friends of him also wearing rabbit themed outfits. It wasn't Deuce's usual delinquent friends you've gotten used to seeing it was a whole new group of friends probably friends he made while at Night Raven College. You noticed that he wasn't blond anymore and went back to his natural hair color of dark navy blue. Your friends all know you hold grudges so when their eyes landed on Deuce they immediately looked at you worried that hands were gonna be flown, their worry elevated when you moved past them and towards Deuce who still hasn't noticed you yet.

♠️What suprised them is that instead of you tackling him to the ground you placed a firm hand on Deuce's shoulder with a bright smile “Hey Deuce buddy it's been awhile!” catching Deuce's attention and his friends. Deuce seemed suprised by your friendliness towards him but replied politely. You were still pissed at him absolutely but you thought it'd be way funnier to mess with him by being overly nice than just side eye him. Which is why your two friend groups ended up spending the entire festival together.

♠️Deela seemed ecstatic that you and Deuce seemed to be getting along which made you feel bad since now that you two spent almost the entire festival together. he seemed pretty decent compared to his middle school years, he's grown and changed and he's trying to be a honors student that's weirdly sweet, you paid close attention to Deuce and paid little attention to Deela,Deuce's friends, or even your friends! You'd only pay attention to Deuce's friends and Deela whenever they'd mention Deuce's name and would genuinely defend him whenever Grim would make a joke at Deuce's expense which would make Deuce flustered and he'd reassure you that everything was fine…Everyone was exchanging knowing glances even Ortho, a robot who can't experience crushes, knew. You even helped Silver with his alarm clock why? Maybe Deuce was rubbing off on you. Your friends were annoyed that you guys were basically hanging out with strangers now but you insisted that it was just to mess with Deuce's head little bit and totally not because you enjoyed spending time with him and like getting to know him as a person

♠️Even though most people don't eat with someone they've had beef with since middle school or share stories from elementary school to his friends and mom that Deuce doesn't even remember and refuse to explain how you knew those things despite only interacting with him in middle school. Epel decided to help Deuce out and nudge him closer to you and try to get Deuce to let some compliments about you slip but Deuce either got confused or flushed which annoyed your friends and Deuce's who know there's some sort of romantic tension going on its just that you two were in denial and your friendgroups were frustrated.

♠️Then a group of delinquents kicked Deela's booth and a bet was placed.

♠️You remember standing next to Deela with your friendgroup being antsy since if Deuce and his friends won the race. the delinquents would have to apologize to Deela if they won or theyd gave to give the delinquents money. You were genuinely worried not for Deuce but for those delinquents! Cauldron Deuce is what they called him in middle school he took on 100 armed guys completely unarmed. Those delinquents don't realize who their messing with. Just as you thought Deuce and his friends managed to run out the maze and won and the delinquents were fearfully forced to apologize.

♠️The sun setting and you said bye to Deela,Your friends,Deuce's friends,and Deuce. You were about to leave until Deuce hugged you…Deuce realizing what he just did leapt off of you and apologized for hugging you….and punching you in 6th grade. He says that he had a crush on you since 3rd grade and that because he became a delinquent he had to fit the mold and that he's sorry and if you two could start over. You hand him your phone and tell him to add his number and ask him if he wants to go on a date some time.

♠️Thats how you got with your boyfriend Deuce

♠️You two would call frequently, mostly from your end since he'd forget due to school work or hanging out with friends. You let Deuce plan your first date over a phone call, You'd come onto his campus and you guys would watch movies together,it was something really simple for a first date!So you didn't dress up too much just a simple outfit.

♠️Deuce was waiting for you by the mirror in a just as casual outfit and the two of you got told what you can and can't do on campus before being allowed to leave the mirror chamber. You kept asking Deuce where he was taking you as the two of you got further and further away from the main building, there's no way they put the dorms this far away from the actual school building right?Your confusion only enhanced when you and Deuce ended up infront of this beat up looking mansion…When the two of you went inside you realize the inside was pretty well furnished didn't mean you weren't worried about falling through the wooden floor. Deuce seemed nervous as he showed you the DVD's you could pick to watch, most of which were Adam Sandler films, you made sure to let Deuce know this was a completely first date and that whatever movie would be nice.

♠️The two of you sat on the beat up black and white striped couch watching a Adam Sandler movie on the dusty old TV, you try to make small talk by commenting on the movie and making jokes but Deuce only laughed and kept his eyes glued forwards, Deuce has been really tense this entire date. Slinging your arm over his shoulders you tell Deuce to loosen up and that the date is going perfectly. Deuce is just blushing at you before nodding firmly and letting his muscles relax. Deuce is engaging with you more now and is opening up more!Who knew Adam Sandler movies were the key to a great date!The two of you are cuddled up together making fun of the characters and their choices as if he wasn't just nervous seconds ago! Nothing can mess this up!

♠️“Deuce what are you doing?” is what comes immediately after the front door creaked open showing Yuu and Grim two people you haven't seen in a hot second. Upon hearing the voice all the color in Deuce's face drained as his turned to look at Yuu and he immediately began to apologize profusely to Yuu leaving you,Grim, and Yuu in confusion in two different ways. You in the sense of “Why are they here?” And them in the “Why are you guys in our home?”. Deuce sensing the confusion from both of you explained that he thought Ramshackle would be the perfect place to hold for the date since compared to the other dorms there wasn't exactly alot of people in Ramshackle to interrupt or disturb your date….still got interrupted. Deuce apologized to all of you and said he understood if you didn't want to continue going out with him after this. You hugged him and just said “This was perfect. Let me pick the next date.”

♠️The second date was also a casual one, you picked a simple mall date, You waited for Deuce at the entrance of the mall for about ten minutes before he came rushing in panting his sweat leading through hisshirt, his hands on his pants trying to catch his breath, Turns out the mirror was further away from the mall than both of you thought and he ran all the way here so you didn't think he flaked on you. That's actually really sweet. For his effort you treated him to some Wendy's in the food court and he insisted on getting you ice cream for you.

♠️You had to initiate hand holding as you guys were walking since Deuce was too scared to hold yours first. When you grabbed his hand everything disappeared for him all his eyes could focus on was your two hands conjoined. He holds your hand a bit tighter as a light blush covers his face a sense of joy washes over him as he stares at the two hands holding eachother.

♠️This date helped the two of you get to know eachother better! When going into FYE the two of you made fun of eachother for the CD’s you guys bought and mocking eachother for the others taste in music sure Britney Spears might be basic but Nelly isn't any less basic Deuce. Deuce was suprised that you wanted to take to your dad's country club for the second date but settled for the mall I mean wouldn't that had been alot for a second date?He's grateful you picked mall.

♠️Deuce and you laughing your asses off in the Yankee Candle at the stupid ass candle names. Who tf wants a bacon candle?You and Deuce apparently because now you this have matching bacon candles.

♠️By the end of the date you walked him back to the mirror and have him a little kiss on the cheek if this was a cartoon his eyes would be hearts and he'd have a comically wobbly smile and you both agreed you'd take turns planning dates and the third date would be his job.

♠️You’re boyfriend is a loser<3

🐺Winter break in 03 visiting your stepmother's family…Kinda sucked when your merfolk visiting a cold place during the coldest time of the year.

🐺Your stepmom practically begged your dad to visit her family during winter break, you and your dad were pretty okay with the idea having visited the place before during the summer, neither of you were ready for how cold it was during winter

🐺It was almost comical how bundled up you and your dad were compared to your stepmother. Sure she was dressed warmly but you and your dad looked like cartoons with the amount of layers you two had on. Sure it was still cold even in the summer but it was more a sweater and windbreaker cold not wearing two winter coats and five sweaters cold!

🐺The moment you guys stepped inside the ski lodge your step family owned you and your dad rushed to the fire place getting a good laugh from the family of deer beastmen.

🐺While you were unpacking in the room that your step family gave you one of them walked into the room and told you since you were family if you wanted to during winter break you could work at the family ski lodge.

🐺The only reason you agreed was because you were broke.

🐺That's how you ended up at the front desk with a gold yellow name tag pinned onto your red work vest.

🐺A older member of the family helped you with the ropes and stayed with you at the front desk the whole day to make sure you got the hang of things. It was pretty simple all you did was check people in, hand them their room key, sell tickets,and answering people questions. It did help that the older member of the family did take care of the more bitchy guests though.

🐺Not the most fun way to spend your winter break but it's better than being broke….and being chased by dolphins…..

🐺Whenever you could you pull out your phone and just mess around by letting your friends know what's up but the older family memeber eventually took your phone away. You would've put up a fight if there wasn't a chance that a guest could walk in at any moment.

🐺While your parents were doing God knows what you were putting on a fake cheery attitude towards every person that would walk towards the desk. Soon you finally got your break.

🐺Instead of doing what people usually do when they get a break, you grabbed a snack, set a timer, and practically booked it to your room to get any amount of sleep at all.

🐺A dream about a fish willingly being eaten by a wolf…Not the weirdest dream you've had.

🐺But that dream was cut short by the alarm piercing your ears letting you know that those 30 minutes of nap time was over!

🐺You rushed out of your room to make it to the desk in time and you made it on time!You just ended up running directly into a guest….

🐺Your older step family member just watched wide eyed as you and the guest you ran into collide eachother, with you being the only one to fall on the ground due to the person you ran into being way more built.

🐺You profusely apologized for ramming into the person before even looking at their face…A wolf beastmen around your age with beautiful brown skin and yellow eyes…

🐺Stop being down bad you're on the job.

🐺He was silent, almost stunned, just silently nodding his head as a way to say he acepted your apology

🐺You insisted on checking in the boy and his family and they agreed just laughing off your little run in with their oldest son though during the check in process you could feel your older step family member practically burning holes into the side of your head. You were gonna get a earful later this for sure.

🐺When the family of five walked off with their room key to the elevator you swear you could've sworn that guests tail wagging.

🐺And that's how you met your boyfriend

🐺Not how you ended up with him though…

🐺You've noticed that this guest after that incident would always stay a little longer than necessary in the lobby before heading out with his little sister and little brother.

🐺Hell you've even noticed his parents glance at you before giggling between themselves. Like damn you bumped into a guy once and his parents already are taking about you.

🐺Though you learned why when one day during a mini conversation you were having with a step family member/co-worker when a little girls voice shouted “Jack that's the worker you have a crush on right?” causing both you and family member to turn your heads and seeing the little beastmen girl, covered in snow from just having came inside, pointing her finger at you with her older brother laughing and the guy you bumped into ‘Jack’ looking frozen.

🐺Jack grabbed both his siblings hands and dragged both of his siblings to the elevator with his head down low and disappeared with shame before you could even crack a smile from this.

🐺He's cute. Why not lean into the whole crush thing?

🐺You tried to ask your friends in the sea on LiveJournal to ask what you should do but they were less than useful with suggesting things that most definitely wouldn't pass on land. Looks like you were on your own.

🐺He practically avoided you after this, you only know this because family members would tell you that he'd go through the lobby only when he knew he could avoid you, like when you weren't on your shift or that you were on your on break. He was just so embarrassed.

🐺Now being staff you couldn't exactly just walk up to him and start talking, you hypothetically could but like it'd just come off as being strange ya know? and it'd look pretty creepy if a staff member on ff their shift just walked up to you despite not knowing who they are plus whenever you were off your shift your stepmom and dad would want to spend time with you

🐺You had to wait for him to approach you but you knew that wasn't going to happen.

🐺The ski lodge stayed open during new years eve for a new year's party luckily for you they decided to give you the day off so that you could enjoy the party

🐺You spent your time in the lobby, filled with people entering and leaving, standing around talking to eachother, etc. Sitting by yourself on the couch near the fireplace was probably the best place to be right now.

🐺No wonder why in the confusion of the hustle and bustle that Jack accidentally found himself sitting right next to you.

🐺You were surprised that he sat near you so you tapped his shoulder to catch his attention when he turned his head to look at you his ears immediately went up into the air in alert. He didn't even notice that he sat next to you. That makes more sense.

🐺You kept the conversation light failing to mention how his little sister outed him and you actually get him to ease up to where the two of you were having a actual conversation with one another learning about eachother, he was suprised to find out you were merfolk you were suprised to find out he had magic, just two people getting to know eachother.

🐺It progressively got closer to the new year the longer you two kept talking.

🐺 "I promised I'd catch up to my family for when the clock hits twelve. I'm sorry.” Jack explained before standing up about to leave until you grab his hand and kiss the back of it.

🐺“How about a date next year?”

🐺And that's how you got your boyfriend yes jack made it back to his family in time

🐺Jack has a strict schedule so you know the exact time he texts you and are ready for the “I love you” text

🐺Jack does worry everytime you mention a run in with a whale or the such but you assure him that if you made it this far that he has no need to worry for you

🐺He always found it surreal whenever he'd vieit you under the sea using a potion and seeing how different life as merfolk is compared to life on land your stepmother assured him he'd get used to it, you took him out to a local restaurant to let him try merfolk cuisine! He mainly ate the fruit and you were both fascinated by eachother when you saw how the other ate. Jack had to explain that fruit on land is meant to be eaten without the peel…you've been eating land fruit the wrong way-

🐺Whenever Jack gets the chance he'll let you know just how much he loves your merfolk form not just verbally but by playing with your hair and caressing your skin

🐺Formally meeting his little siblings when he took you to his place, you gave his little sister a thank you for introducing the two of you making Jack flustered and he practically pushed you up to his room out of embarrassment, the embarrassment didn't end when his dad told him to leave the door to his room open. You two just rented movies from Blockbuster to watch in his room nothing happened😭

🐺When you visited him at his dorm his dormmates were surprised by this being the way they find out Jack is dating someone

🐺Word got out fast and suddenly you had a bunch of his friends and track teammates reaching out to you.

🐺Jack is not living this down.

🐺The picnic on the beach where you and Jack brought foods from your respective cultures. He set the blanket on the shoreline where he sat on the blanket with his food and your lower body still being in the water as you place your food on the blanket is the best date you've ever had with him.

🐺You two were there until sunset where you both had to leave and kissed goodbye.

🐺You love this dork.

🍎Imagine being a city kid. Too bad you don't have to imagine it because you are a city kid. Every weekend your mom sent you to stay with your grandpa's in Harvenston while she relaxed, this isn't a arrangement you're exactly mad about I mean not only because it's more quiet compared to the city but also you've been doing this childhood, you understood that since your mom had you during college and that she was single mom that she didn't have her shit together and still doesn't so at a young age you knew your family situation

🍎You're mom never really liked leaving you with grandpa but she doesn't trust strangers watching over you, something about him being misogynistic, something you didn't really get growing up but now completely understand looking back on it, He'd never let you outside the house and always grumble about sluts on the streets….Grandpa there's only elderly people in this town. What sluts?Ms.Smith?😀.

🍎To say the least you understood your mom's choice to not interact with grandpa much and you followed suit too when you were finally old enough to take care of yourself and didn't need your grandpa watching over you, you cut him off not wanting to hear…his thoughts on things, hell you take care of your baby brother on the weekends so mom can rest even just for Saturday. The call about your grandpa's death was conflicting to say the least, for both you and your mom, your mom was sobbing hysterically on the kitchen floor when she got the initial call you didn't find out why she was sobbing until the day after, you felt sad when you found out sure your grandpa hated your mom for her life choices for her moving to the city, for her getting pregnant before marriage, for her dropping out to raise you,etc. but he played a significant part of your childhood that you felt sad, you didn't cry but you felt sad. You took your baby brother with you to pick up his ashes mom probably isn't ready to go back to her childhood home but you are.

🍎You marched up the path that led up to Harvenston with your baby brother in the back carrier and a bag of baby supplies just in case in your right hand. You had a few of the elderly people in town stop and stare at you and a few of them stopped you to ask “Are you [———] ‘s child?” where they would tell you stories about your mom when she was younger growing up in Harvenston and ask about her…it'd also end with a “Sorry for your loss.” no matter who you were talking to

🍎You walked past your grandpa's old house and just stood there for awhile. It was strange not seeing him smoking a cigar on the porch swing. A singular tear ran down your cheek. You sighed and kept walking to the next house that made the call to your mother.

🍎You hesitate before knocking on the door to which a elderly woman opens the door and seems suprised to see you before her suprise disappears and is replaced with by a smile that warms you despite all the snow. She hands you a grey urn with a rose gold apple blossom on the lid. She invites you inside to which you delay your response before stepping in, You sit down on her couch and place the urn on the coffee table so you could take the opportunity to give your baby brother a bottle of milk while the old woman you learned was Ms.Felmier went to make to make tea, as you fed your baby brother almost one after another a new person walked into the living room. Two women and two men around your moms age sit in the living room and repeat questions you've already been asked. Yes, I'm [——-]’s child. No, I didn't grow up like my mom I'm not a teen parent. Yes, My mom is waiting at home. Turns out these four went to school with your mom and just wanted to know how their friend has been since she left for the city, huh sorry for assuming you're all just nosey pricks, Ms.Felmier finally walks in with the tea for you and takes your baby brother so that you can drink your tea. Turns out it was one of men that found out about your grandpa's death, when he went to check on the old man since he hadn't opened his flower shop for the day like usual he was worried about the wretched stench that came from your grandpa's home and he looked through his bedroom window and…

🍎That's why he's ashes now. Your tea was finished and you put your brother in the baby carrier before picking up the urn ready to leave. But one of the woman insisted that she have her son walk you back to the mirror you said no but she persisted until you relented to letting her son walk you to which she called him down from upstairs. You waited at the door before a boy with purple hair emerged in your line of sight to which he blinked at you before smirking

🍎“Why hello” oh this'll just be soooo fun of a walk back.

🍎And that's how you met your boyfriend.

🍎Not how you got with him though he was a misogynistic shit when you first met him.

🍎When your mom finally built the courage, you and your mom finally went to Grandpa’s house to collect his things and empty the house the Felmier family helped you guys especially when it got too much for your mom and she had to sit outside. Epel and Epel's mom, dad, aunt, uncle,and cousin helped you take alot of the things out of the house while his grandma and great grandma sat on the porch swing and would comfort your mom whenever she had to walk out crying. Epel during this always stayed firm on being near you, you asked him about this and he said he was the only kid in Harvenston so he's never interacted with someone his own age to which you tell him that you practically grew up in Harvenston just that your grandpa kept you locked up. He was suprised by this since apparently your grandpa never came off like that and that you two could've been friends.

🍎Over the days of clearing out the house you and Epel actually spoke alot and you congratulated him for getting into Night Raven College and dropped the news that you were also going to a magic academy too! Yeah…you didn't tell him you even had magic. Oops.

🍎The two of you exchanged a few spells when you weren't carrying your grandpa's bed, that he died in, out the house. Epel hesitantly asked how you felt and you just shrugged as if your eyes weren't watering from having to carry the bed that you slept in with your grandpa whenever you were scared of lightening. Epel told you not to cry or else your grandpa would haunt your ass which gave you a good chuckle. Because he's right, your grandpa would be fucking mocking you right now for crying.

🍎After the house was left bare and empty Epel gave you his phone number with a cheeky smile, you let him know that you don't have your own phone but you will call him over your home phone, he was a nice guy when he wasn't being fucking annoying, Not a guy you'd date or anything.

🍎When you had to go to your new school your mom made sure to give you your first phone! It wasn't the most fancy but it worked and it was fun whenever it flipped open so you weren't mad. You kept in touch with Epel giving him occasional calls and messages throughout the school year just to check in and him checking in on you due to your whole grandpa dying thing but then Song Dance Championship.

🍎A dance group from your school participated in the event so you got to attend! Never did you think you'd see Epel doing half moves he did on stage with his whole toxic masculinity shit. You're glad to see that he improved on that front, you might actually consider being friends with him after this, still though when you caught up to him after his performance you let it be known that you weren't gonna let him live down his toxic alpha male mindset to dancing prettily on stage transformation.

🍎Being the sly bastard that he is he said “You make fun of me or give me reward for the change in behavior you oh so complained about.” he said to be cheeky but he didn't actually expect you to kiss him on the lips and wave at him while walking away from doing a hand gesture to say ‘call me’ as a way to wipe that smug look off his face

🍎He was left red in the face watching you walk off, the sound of his friends hollering behind him fading away in the background

🍎Thats how you got your boyfriend?Lame corny🙄

🍎On his blastcycle late at night for the first date, half awake, just driving around with no destination in mind. Everything looked better under the moonlight, Epel looked better, the blastcycle looked better, the streetlights were brighter, the streets looked better, you looked better. The two of you shared a kiss after the date, this is a sweet high school romance you like.

🍎Getting a shitty movie from the bottom of the Walmart clearance bin, heading back to your dorm sitting under a pillow fort while eating some pizza your dorm mates made for you two,You kicked all them out of the living room letting them know that yeah they helped but please he doesn't need to know,As if your doormates weren't secretly watching the date happen and clowned on you afterwards.

🍎While messaging you found out that Epel never planned to have you visit his dorm since his vice housewarden would watch you guys and his housewarden is very nitpicky. Weird.

🍎You didn't get to go to his dorm but he did let you go over to his school to watch him during his spelldrive practice. Alot of his clubmates surrounded you with questions but Epel pushed them out of way and held your hand with a firm grip as he dragged you out annoyed. You made your way into school kitchen and sat down on the floor backs to the fridge while waiting for the brownies you guys made to finished baking in the oven while holding hands.

🍎Note to self. Don't take Epel bowling he will get competitive but hey it's fun to watch Epel grind his teeth together whenever he got pissed especially when he'd look at you and try to look a good this.

🍎The two of you chilling in your room showing eachother the spells you guys learned while at your two separate schools!The two of you were so hyped when you him showed your unique magic that the two of you celebrated; You two fell asleep in eachothers arms that night all cuddled up though when you woke up he was gone, he left a sticky note on your nightstand letting you know why “Vil will beat my ass if he finds out I snuck out to visit you,I'll call you in the morning!” And your flip phone started ringing

🍎Playing poker with him in his empty school cafeteria, trying to ignore his friends peaking into the cafeteria giving him thumbs-up, you found it more funny than anything but he seemed embarrassed, his embarrassment heightened when you turn towards his friends and wave at them letting them know you know their watching.

🍎Walking on the beach during a festival towards the end of the school year in May while holding chili fries he bought the two of you. The two you just talked and talked…You guys went to the beach at 4pm and are there at 11pm. Vil had spam called Epel but his flip phone was discarded on your beach towel and the ringing drowned out at the two of you splashing eachother.

🍎A nice little wholesome high school romance.

⚡️Summer of 04. The best and worst summer you've ever had.

⚡️Getting kicked out of your grandparents for coming home late house during spring fucking sucked. Towards the end of the freshmen year too?Yikes.

⚡️You thought it was just a temporary thing and they were just threatening this like usual and won't actually do anything but turns out your grandparents were genuinely actually kicking you out and selling all your stuff for a hot tub!

⚡️You managed to gather some of your things before staying at your friends house,then another friends, then another…..

⚡️Your friends would let you use their shower and give you food but that arrangement would usually only last for two days at minimum and a week at max before their parents would want you out the house

⚡️You couldn't get a real job due to the whole no stable home thing so whenever you needed money you'd just babysit,dogwalk,or mow lawns for a quick buck to buy yourself some things for basic survival

⚡️A solid few months of you couch surfing has passed and when you went to a friend's place to crash the night without alerting them before hand which is how you accidentally came across a party.

⚡️Your friend agreed to let you stay the night and let you put your bag of things in their attic where you'd be sleeping since the basement was filled with people,the living room is too crowded, and god forbid whatever is going on in the locked bedrooms.

⚡️So there you are leaning against the kitchen counter with a juice in your red cup, just soaking in the summer party energy going on but not participating in any of the dancing, the gossip, the smoking,the sex, or the drinking. You came to freeload off your friend not all this shit but when in Rome do what the Roman's do.

⚡️Get Busy blasting from the speakers, the disco ball bouncing light off of it, glitter that you know you'll still be finding on you months from now, confetti on the wet ground that's soaked in spilled drinks, water dragged inside from the pool, teenage tears, blood from a fight that took place before you got here, and only God knows what else is on the ground.

⚡️Weed,Cigarette smoke,Pizza,Candy,Beer,Sweat,Perfume,Cheap colone,chlorine, and popcorn. Those are the smells that attack your nostrils. A weird mixture of smells.

⚡️You were so tuned out of the party and your surroundings that you didn't notice a green haired boy your age stiffly march to your side and stand there with a firm grip on his red cup of…water.

⚡️You didn't notice the guy till he loudly said “Human!” to get your attention, which worked, and asked if you knew anything about Briar Valley with a smug look. He then proceeded to explain the entire history of Briar Valley to you. This is the weirdest way a guy has hit on you.

⚡️After he finished his mini history lesson he just stared at you before “Is this what flirting is?” Getting a good laugh from you actually being interested to see where the conversation between you and this guy will go with such a opener

⚡️You and this Sebek guy spoke exchanging your own personal history, nothing too personal that it'd make the other uncomfortable but open enough that you too could get closer, you did fail to mention to him though your living situation. He seemed really proud of his half fae-half human orgins!

⚡️His friends stood stunned that holy shit his history lesson actually pulled you

⚡️He flat out told you that he was dragged here against his will by his friends Ace and Epel and that he hated every second of the party but he knew he had to court you at first sight. Now this is the flirting you were used to!Not the whole courting thing most guys are more vulgar with it but close enough.

⚡️This is how you met him. Not how you got with him though.

⚡️You two have started writing letters nightly since Briar Valley doesn't really have phones or computers. He did question you about why your address would change on each letter but you just told you move around alot which isn't technically wrong.

⚡️You did receive a letter from… his mom!? She was happy for her son and told you she will hide your body if you break her son's heart. That letter was followed by one from Sebek telling you that his mom won't actually murder you

⚡️You flew on your broom to head over to Briar Valley to see Sebek and he was shocked to find out you had magic but he was upset you came to see him. He's supposed to he courting you know not the other way around! You just let him know that every relationship needs effort on both ends.

⚡️He taught you how to sword fight in his backyard and he did not hold back giving you a proper lesson in sword fighting that resulted with you on the grass with the tip of his sword at your chest and him on one knee and using his right hand on the back of your neck holding you up from falling on the ground. He dropped the sword on the ground blade first when you cupped his face and kissed him.

⚡️You ended up staying with him and his family for dinner and participate with his mom,dad,Sebek, and his older siblings with making preparing dinner. During dinner his parents and his siblings had all their focus on you and your relationship with Sebek confidentially answering for you, you didn't like that he was speaking for you instead of just letting you speak but the firm hold he had on your hand under the table tells you that he was just as nervous as you were.

⚡️His parents allowed you to stay over for the night. You and Sebek spoke back and forth about who got to sleep on his bed. He didn't want to hear you insisting on sleeping on the floor so he just picked you up, threw on his bed, and tucked you in with a goodnight kiss…You have to ignore the photo of Malleus Draconia on the foot of his bed to enjoy this moment

⚡️Waking up before the sun is up tired and barely alive, groggly dragging yourself downstairs and getting yourself a cup of water, once finishing your nice cool drink you waddled back up to Sebek’s. In your tired state you just stared at the sleeping Sebek on the floor with pillows and blankets snoring away and in your sleepy head you ended up laying down next to your not-really-boyfriend on the floor instead of sleeping on the bed that he demanded you slept in.

⚡️When he woke up to see your face next to his he lept back startled at the sight, immediately waking him up, but seeing your face next to him sound asleep with the sunlight peeking through the curtains hitting your facial features warmed his heart to see.

⚡️ “What are we?”

⚡️Your relationship with Sebek is….

⚡️With the fact that Sebek was a second year at night raven college meant that you couldn't spend too much time together but he still made sure to setup as many dates as possible with you, not like you had anything better to do, you got no job,no home,and definitely no education.

⚡️Being allowed onto his school campus and him teaching you how to ride a horse, he even introduced you to his horse Goldie, it was a fun yet messy date. Did you and Sebek get covered in mud?Yes. Did the two of you wash the mud out of eachothers hair?Also yes.

⚡️And even when he couldn't set up a date be it for school or knight duties he'd always sends you roses, well send them to your friends place since he still wasn't aware of your living situation.

⚡️He only found out when he wanted to suprise visit you and stood outside your friends house only to be told by your friend that you didn't live there. When he approached you about it and you told him the truth about being homeless and your grandparents he was determined to help you even if he didn't tell you.

⚡️While the two of you were slow dancing in a field with eachother you had no idea that he was sending letters to your older cousin to make arrangements for you stay with her

⚡️So imagine the shock you had when you took off the blindfold Sebek put on you for you to see a room with a bed and your cousin holding a sign saying “Welcome”

⚡️That night instead of going back to school Sebek spent the night with you and instead of sleeping on the floor you both slept in your new bed in eachothers arms

⚡️The warmth, the comfort, you could rest like this forever. Sebek loved having his face in your neck, inhaling your scent, being able to give you intimate kisses, being able to wake up in the arms of your lover.

⚡️You weren't sure if you were wanted to keep your relationship a open ended question anymore. After all this, after all he did for you, you knew what you two were. You two were dating

⚡️Your relationship with Sebek is dating.

I'll probably post my BSD x DDLC au here too since I need that out of my notes too

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absolutebl · 4 months

Text

This Week in BL - Well... at lease we have Wandee & Stand-in?

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

May 2024 Wk 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

Wandee Godday (Sat YT) ep 4 of 12 - The geept is strong with this one AKA Yak CAN flirt. Wandee now knows he isn’t the only one with a crush on someone else. AND YET they are SO DAMN CUTE together. I do wonder sometime if Yak is running a counter con with Dee pretending to have a crush on Taem. Meanwhile, mad props on the HPV vax public service! Good for them!!! Now that's my kind of product placement. I do have a feeling the sad bit with these two is gonna be VERY sad and last longer than we like.

My Stand-In (Thai Fri iQIYI) ep 5 of 12 eps - It’s a riveting show. Pleasant? No. Riveting? Yes. Tiny crumbs for Ming’s assistant. Joe is best boy. That is all. I LOVE this show.

We Are (Weds iQIYI) ep 8 of 16 - TOO MANY SOUND EFFECTS. Omg get your fingers off those buttons you computer wanking sound dude (you know it’s a dude) what tf do you think this is? Lovely Writer? Also, they left ALL their drinks! Can you not walk and drink at the same time in a BL? Meanwhile not much happened that hadn’t already happened AKA bit of a filler ep. That said, the friendship group stuff is glorious!!! Also this brand of super gentle flirting suits PondPhuwin better than any of their prior rolls. It reminds me of how much I think they suit a historical. There is a gentle dignity to these two.

Only Boo! (Sun YouTube) ep 7 of 12 - I love how kindly the turn down was. But most of the dancing stuff was dull. I don’t know I just find the actor playing Kang pretty vacant of appeal I guess.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

At 25:00 in Akasaka AKA 25 Ji Akasaka de (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 6 of 10 - As is not uncommon with JBL I’m being to get frustrated with Yuki the Uke. Sigh. I’m probably gonna stay that way for several episodes given the pacing of this show.

Living With Him AKA Kare no Iru Seikatsu (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 7 of 10 - Also frustrating. Willful misunderstanding. We got us some running of the gays but boy is this drawn out.

Blossom Campus (Korea Thurs Gaga & iQIYI) ep 3-4 of 6 - The puppy is a bit too much sunshine innocent for me. And the professor is a bit creepy. I don't know, I'm not loving this one like I want to.

It's airing but...

You Made My Day (Thai YT) ep 1 of 5 - mini series staring the I Will Knock You couple Tar & Bom, started but I couldn't find it. I also didn't try very hard.

The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer released to Korean theaters 5/25. HoTae & DongHee, side couple from Unintentional Love Story are back! Same actors, same character names. I love them. I NEED TO SEE THIS. How?

OMG Vampire (Thai Sun ????) ep 2 of 10 - yeah I can't find it.

In case you missed it

Crossing my fandoms moment, major Kpop blog ran the following: OMEGA X Hangyeom Talks Jazz For Two, Brotherhood, And More With KpopStarz

Tis the season of remakes? Both Addicted Heroin (August, my love!) and My Love Mix-Up (G4!) are coming from Thailand. I am very excited to see both. I love a Thai remake, often more than the original.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

May Releases

VBL (Taiwan) is releasing 4 'Special Episode' epilogues to their 4 2023 shows every Friday this month on Gagaoolala, Viki & Viu. Not sure on search terms or how to find these. (Or, frankly, if we need them.)

5/10 – You Are Mine

5/17 – VIP Only

5/24 – Stay By My Side

5/31 – Anti Reset

5/28 My Biker 2 (Thai movie YT?) - trailer

5/30 Knock Knock Boys (Thai Thurs WeTV & Gaga) - I do love Best and I'm interested in seeing him in a new pairing. That said, I'm not wild about Seng. Still, this looks like a chaotic pulpy mess, I'm looking forward to wallowing in it one way or another.

5/31 The Time of Huannan (Taiwan movie) - May not be BL

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

All Wandee Gooday.

Icky no longer allows screen shots or there would have been a bunch from Stand-in.

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity

@rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in it's infinate wisdom doesn't like too many tags.

There's these tricks, remember:

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whlfchn · 2 years

Text

first time ~ bang chan

pairing: bang chan x fem!reader

word count: 3.8k

rating: 18+! warnings below cut!

genre: some fluff, smut, soft!dom chan

synopsis: in which a late night visit turns into one of the first of many thrilling nights

notes: finally reposting on my new blog whlfchn!

warnings: smut, some praising, soft dom, riding, sex, breast play

!my content is not suitable for minors! 18+ only! by reading more you consent to being 18+ and to nsfw content and take all responsibility!

you washed the dishes, tidied your apartment, scrolled through your phone, but just couldn't focus. all that could be heard was your thoughts.

as always, chan was running late. you weren't upset he was late but you were worried for him. ever since you knew him he would work to the point of no return. the members would always tell him to go home and not overwork himself, but he was a hard worker. he would stay up all night in the studio. It always worried you, but now that you were dating it worried you even more. he was yours and you were his. you wanted him to take care of himself.

you only started dating a little over two months ago. you knew each other for years, but it was never the right time and you were both extremely shy to tell the other how you felt. it naturally happened after hanging out to get food, late night talks, and you visiting him in the studio often. you both felt safe with each other, always giggling, thinking about each other, eager to learn more, and eager for more than just friendship. you finally told each other how you felt and got together.

you've been together a lot since you started dating, but these past weeks he's been extremely busy and staying at the studio later than he said he would. you were feeling a little lonely. tonight you were supposed to watch some movies, cuddle and order some takeout. however he was running late again which was becoming common. you felt lonely, but more concerned that he was overworking himself.

which is why you decided to call lee know since chan wasn't picking up.

"hey lino, how are you?", you smiled.

"hey y/n? I'm good... what do you want?" he groaned jokingly and giggled while you could hear the faint sound of meows in the background.

"always so nice to me lino," you giggled.

"do you know where chan is? he was in the studio when I last spoke to him and he was supposed to meet me like 30 minutes ago, but he isn't picking up." you frowned and sighed.

"last I saw he was still in his studio working on our new song. we told him to go home with the rest of us, but he insisted on finishing this tonight. I told him if he didn't stop by midnight I would hurt him so I guess it's looking like I'll have to do that tomorrow," he said while thinking of all the ways he could go about this punishment.

"no need no need! I think i'm going to check up on him and bring him some food, since I know for a fact he probably hasn't eaten," you tell him in the hopes chan wont get his butt whooped by lee know tomorrow.

"yahh, don't interrupt my plans, and nope we only had lunch and since he hasn't left yet he definitely hasn't eaten yet. well... get him back to your place or home soon or else I will beat him up tomorrow for working late again," he told you.

with that you quickly said your goodbye and got ready to leave. on the way there you picked up some takeout.

now here you were, outside his studio door, with food in hand. you knocked on the door.

"channie? it's me y/n," you said to no avail when nothing was said in return.

you opened the door slowly peeking your head in and saw him sitting on his chair facing the computer with headphones on. no wonder he couldn't hear you. as you opened the door he sighed heavily and took off his headphone leaning further back in his chair facing away from the door. he still hadn't noticed your presence.

"channie?," you whispered when he finally noticed you and jumped a little.

"you scared me," he said giggling and running his hand over his face to cover the embarrassment.

you put your bags down on the couch and walked over to him. he turned the chair around and opened his legs a little further and grabbed onto your waist while you went to grab his face and lean down to give him a peck on the lips. he smiled tiredly then quickly looked at the time on his watch and brought one hand up to his face sighing.

"baby, i'm so sorry. I didn't realize I was this late," he pouted to you. he looked so cute you couldn't resist, but gave him another peck on the lips.

"it's okay, I was more worried that you were overworking yourself and didn't eat yet. soooooo.... I brought you some food," you told him, freeing yourself from him and grabbing the bag of takeout to put on his desk. the moment he saw it he gave you the cheekiest smile and he showed those dimples you loved so much.

"baby you didn't have to, I was late and lost track of time and you still do this for me, I really don't deserve it," he said pouting those cute lips again.

you giggled and put the food on his table while feeling his eyes roam your body and outfit. you were wearing sweatpants and a tight cropped tank top.

"channie you deserve the best, it's really no problem," you said, turning to the side and smiling at him. he melted at how cute this was and how beautiful you were.

"thankyou baby, but I still have so much I have to finish tonight," he said, sighing. he then proceeded to start grabbing some food and smiling like a little kid who got sweets.

"it's okay, I understand, that's why i'll join you until you finish," you say smiling while grabbing some food then going to sit on the couch.

"baby, i'm probably going to be here for a while, I don't want to make you be here that long all bored and waiting on me," he said while digging into his food.

"it's okay channie, I don't mind and this way I'll know you wont get home too late and overwork yourself," you say smiling at him.

"okay baby, i'll be right here if you need something, you're the best," he says smiling at you then proceeds to turn around in his chair to start working on his computer again while eating.

you continue eating while listening to the music and beats he's doing on the computer. he connected to the speaker so that you were included somehow while he worked. once you were done eating you proceeded to lay down on the couch and relax. after a while you got a little bored and started watching chan work. you couldn't help, but notice how beautiful your boyfriend was no matter what he wore or did. he had on his snug black t-shirt, gray sweatpants, his chain around his neck. you noticed how his shirt accentuated his muscles which led to his bracelet on those veiny hands with the nails painted black. you pictured those veiny hands wrapped around your throat. you quickly shook your head fast to stop thinking about those things. you were slowly getting hornier.

you weren't together that long and chan was busy most nights so you guys haven't gotten that far yet. the most you've done is make out, grind against each other on his lap, and feel each other up. you would have gone farther if changbin didn't get home earlier than he was supposed to that day and walk in on you guys on the couch. It was awkward and embarrassing to say the least. your boyfriend just looked so damn yummy tonight you couldn't help, but think of him that way. you were slowly getting sexually frustrated. you knew he would stare at your ass, get all flirty with you at times, and you might have noticed his pants were left really snug after some hot make out sessions. so you knew he was interested in more too, but you just never found a perfect moment and had the time.

he looked so good tonight and you wanted more than just pecks on the lips. so you decided to sit up from the couch and walk up behind him wrapping your arms around his neck while giving him a couple kisses on the cheek. he hummed and smiled while continuing to work. he didn't tell you anything so you continued. you gave him slower kissing on his cheek and slowly started kissing down to his neck. once you got to his neck his hands halted for a quick second but continued his work. he stayed quiet this time. so you decided to start kissing his neck and lightly sucking on it. doing it just enough, but not too long or hard to leave a mark. that's when he froze.

"baby, what are you doing?," he giggled a bit while biting his bottom lip.

"just showing you how much I missed you," you said before continuing to tease his neck a little more by licking and biting the spots you sucked on. he sucked in a sharp breath and you could swear you heard a small moan.

"baby, I missed you too, but I have work I need to finish," he told you firmly. he might have liked that, but chan has a lot of self control.

"work can wait baby, you need a break, pleaseee" you said, stopping what you were doing and pouting at him cutely. he smiled warmly at your reaction and gave you a peck on the lips. you both smiled fondly at each other. which then turned into another and another peck until you started kissing. It started off slowly. lips matching perfectly to each other. it was as if you melted into the kiss and it quickly got faster and intoxicating. you caught his bottom lip with your teeth giving it a little tug. he started breathing heavily and separated from your lips moving his chair around to face you. he then met your lips again and grabbed your waist. you put your hands on his shoulders and got on the chair to straddle his lap.

you started to swirl your tongue against his and got lost in the sensation. you slowly ran your hands through his hair and pulled on it. he moaned into the kiss and bit your bottom lip. he slowly started running his hands down your waist to your hips. fingers hesitant on grabbing your ass. so you took one hand out of his hair and put it on top of his and brought it to your ass. that gave him the go ahead to squeeze it and give it a little slap which caused you to moan into his mouth. you started to grind your hips against his causing you both to moan. he put both hands on your ass helping you grind harder against him. your head started getting dizzy from the lust. he stopped kissing you and kept his hands on your ass, but took the pressure off a bit.

"baby, mhmm.... maybe we should stop, I really need to work" he grunted out while biting his lips watching you still grind against him.

"do you want to stop?," you said, slowing down your hips a bit watching him for his reaction and response. he bit his lip even harder and closed his eyes looking up and sighed. you could tell he was trying to regain self control.

"things are getting a little... intense to say the least and we are in the studio baby, you don't deserve to be in this little chair," he said licking his lips and looking at you with his eyes slightly hooded.

"as long as i'm with you I could care less where we are, with you anywhere is perfect," you told him, starting to pick the pace back up.

"are you sure you want to continue baby?," he said, slightly gripping your ass more.

"yes baby, work can wait. I want you and I could tell you want me too," you said looking down at his crotch smirking. you could feel his hard length under you between the fabric. making you want him even more. you brought your lips inches apart, lips brushing against each other.

"fuck it," he muttered meeting your lips hungrily and gripping your ass to grind hard against him. you started running your hands from his shoulders to his torso. you teasingly lifted his shirt a bit touching his abs. he shivered from the touch of your cold delicate hands. he took one hand off your ass slowly going from your waist to your boobs and gave you a squeeze before leading up to your throat to hold it on one side while detaching his lips from yours to land on your neck.

he started to suck on your neck while one hand slapped your ass hard making you let out a breathy moan. you were feeling dizzy and wanted some more. you brought your hands down to his hard length and cupped him causing him to nip at your neck. you started to rub your hand up and down teasing him. he was leaving hickeys all over your neck which you were more than okay with, but slightly irritated because you wanted to do the same, but couldn't because his makeup artists would kill him and you. he knew this and was doing it on purpose.

once you started rubbing him faster he stopped sucking your neck.

"hold on to me baby," he whispered to you while holding your thighs. you wrapped your hands around his neck and then he lifted you up from the chair and found your lips again, starting to move towards the couch. he sat down with you on top of him straddling and instantly moved his hands to your ass again. you started to tug at his shirt asking for him to take it off. he let your lips go and took off his shirt throwing it behind the couch.

your lips found each other again and you instantly went to touch his abs and bring your hands up and down feeling him up. he put his hands on your waist slightly tugging at the tank top. you crossed your hands under your shirt and took it off throwing it behind the couch. he looked at your body with such lust, hunger, and hooded eyes. he started to bring his hands to your chest and slowly rubbed your breasts through your red lace bra causing your breath to hitch.

"Is this okay baby?, if you ever want me to stop you tell me and i'll stop right away," he said pausing his movement and looking you in the eyes with such sincerity and care.

"of course baby, I want this, I want you," you said, biting your lip waiting for his response.

"I want you too baby," he rasped while bringing his lips to yours and then slowly trailing kisses down your neck and finally to your chest. he looked up at you while slowly licking your breasts through your bra. it was lace and see through so you were able to feel his warm wet tongue on your now hardened peaks. he brought one hand to rub your other breast before dipping into the bra and flicking your nipple causing you to moan from all these sensations. he switched breasts to give the other one the same attention. he soon brought his hand to your back near the clasp looking up at you for confirmation. you gave him a nod and that gave him the okay to undo your bra and your breasts bounced out of the bra causing him to grunt at the view.

"you're so fucking perfect," he said before latching his mouth onto your nipple. swirling his tongue, sucking, then biting it lightly. you felt your panties start to pool a bit. you couldn't take it anymore.

"baby, I need more. I want to feel you inside me," you murmured. you were normally a fan of more foreplay and oral, but you needed to feel his throbbing length inside of you. this tension has been building up for a long time. he let go of your nipple.

"say please?," he said while holding your chin up with two fingers to look at him. he had this playful look in his eyes. he loved to tease and flirt with you, but seeing you like this drove him mad. he was teasing you, but anything you wanted and asked for he would do in an instant.

"please baby, I can't sit still," you moaned, waiting for his response. he kissed your neck.

"good girl, anything you want," he rasped while bringing his lips to kiss you again before tugging at your waist band and slowly putting his hand further down your pants reaching your aching wet core. you flinched a little at the touch of the exact spot you needed him inside of. he slowly started to tease your folds going up and down, semi entering his fingers then rubbing, teasing, and going slow on your nub. once you moaned louder he stopped his movements.

"you're so wet. that's so fucking hot," he rasped out.

"take your clothes off. right now.," he growled into your ear.

he took his hands out of your panties that were now drenched. you got up from his lap and slowly started pulling your pants down along with your panties. chan did not take his eyes off of you. he was eating you up. this was the first time he saw you completely naked and from this day forward he would worship you and your beautiful body.

"so fucking perfect, i'm the luckiest man," he whispered.

he then took two fingers and motioned for you to start coming closer to him again.

"I want you to take off my clothes, think you can do that for me beautiful?," he said while tracing your bare thighs and teasingly going near your core. he bit your lip and shook your head yes.

"I need you to use your words baby," he demanded sweetly while "accidently" brushing your core. this made you shiver.

"yes-ss," you eagerly said while bringing your hands down his chest to his waist band tugging on it. he lifted his hips to help you take them off. you took his boxers down with his sweatpants. his hard length popped out and slapped against his stomach. it was glistening with pre-cum and was thick and veiny. your mouth got watery thinking about how good he would feel inside of you.

"I want you to show me how much you missed me," he said while grabbing his wallet from his pants on the floor, throwing it next to him and bringing you to sit on his lap. he was referring to the comment you made when you started this.

"but first. are you sure you want to do this? just tell me to stop and I'll stop," he said while caressing your cheek and tracing your lips.

"i'm sure baby," you told him eagerly. he then grabbed his wallet and popped a condom out. he threw the wallet on the floor and put one side in his mouth and opened it with one hand while the other was squeezing your ass. while he was getting the condom out you grabbed his hard length and spread the pre cum up and down his length causing him to grunt and moan. you started jerking him off slowly until he finally started to put the condom on his length. once it was on you found each other's lips and it was the sweetest, and tastiest kiss. tongues slowly swirling.

"are you ready baby?," he said while positioning you both. ready when you are.

"yes baby," you said before finding his lips. he then lowered you down his length, entering you slowly. you both moaned into the kiss. you continued kissing while you adjusted to his length. you dug your nails into his shoulders starting to slowly bounce up and down.

" that's it baby, you're doing such a good job," he grunted while slapping your ass causing you to moan and start going faster. lust started taking over and you were going as fast as you could. all that could be heard in the dark room was moaning and skin on skin. he started to whisper sweet nothings in your ear while filling you up with his length. he felt so filling and so good in you. it was intoxicating. your thighs were starting to get sore from all the bouncing and starting shaking a little, but you couldn't stop, it felt so good. chan sensed this.

"hold on tight baby," he says as he stands up gripping your thighs wrapped around his waist while he's still inside you. bringing his lips to yours while gently slamming your body against a wall and pounding into you.

he was pounding into you so fast and rough you couldn't even think. It felt so good. your nerves were on fire. you started to squeeze on his length causing him to grunt and moan louder and louder as time went on. you could tell he was close with how sloppy it got, but so were you.

he then walked over to the couch with you on top. as you were about to start riding to continue chasing your coming orgasm he lifted his thighs up forcefully causing you to fall on his chest as he brought his hips up and started slamming into you while his hands rested on your back holding you in place. the sensation of your nipples rubbing against his hard chest and his hard and long length slamming into you had your muscles tightening, back arching, and legs trembling. it felt so good and rough. you bit down on his shoulder near his neck to suppress your loud moans causing him to grunt and moan the loudest you've heard him so far. finally your walls fluttered around his length and you came. the sensation of your walls closing around him made chan cum right after you with the sexiest moan escaping his lips.

you put all your weight on him huffing and breathing hard starting to come down from your orgasm. he was also breathing hard and started rubbing small circles on your back. you both met each other's eyes after catching your breath a bit and gave each other a sweet kiss that spoke words about how amazing it was. once you broke the loving kiss you remembered something and checked the time on the clock in the room.

"not to ruin the moment, but it's 12:30 am baby... lee know said you had to leave by 12:00am or else he was going to make you suffer," you told him.

his eyes bulged out of his head and all you could do was giggle at this moment and how far you guys came after all these years.

what you didn't know was this was only the first of many amazing nights together.

disclaimer: my writing is intended for entertainment and does not represent any real person! the names are used for purely fictional purposes!

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monster-disaster · 1 year

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[orc] Zorag Iron - 1/3

orc!Zorag Iron x human!Reader - 1/3 Good to know: enemies to lovers

Summary: You go into the office to help out your father. You meet Zorag.

A/N: My first story in this blog begins in Ironridge with the boss's daughter and Zorag the orc.

The pitter-patter of heavy raindrops echoes in the small building. The drumming on the metal roof is a constant hum in the background. A low rumble mixes with the noises every now and again. It comes from the mountains, vibrating through the air. Another lighting flashes in the distance. And another thunder shakes the office. You can barely hear the clicking of the keyboard as you work on another email. You have to think through your words several times because your attention wanders away from the bright screen every few minutes. You glance at the window again. Droplets run down the glass. Rain cascades down from the dark sky. The light of your laptop highlights the slope of your nose and the curve of your lips. Your eyes seem brighter under the whiteness of the webpage.

Well, the forecast was wrong. You don't even remember the last time you saw the sun for more than a few minutes.

Suddenly, your attention focuses on the tall figure getting closer through the heavy curtain of the rain. He looks like a shadow in his dark clothes and boots. You can't see his face because of the hood of his coat. His movements are fast despite his burly stature.

Before you know it, the door of the office opens and shuts with a loud bang, and the floor gets covered in mud and water within a few moments.

The soaked fabric falls back from his head, showing you his black dreadlocks and frowning expression. You match his reaction.

"Do you really have to bring in all the dirt from outside?" You break the silence first. "Doormats exist for a reason." The small wrinkle between his thick brows deepens. "I didn't know you were here," he grunts. "So if I'm not here, it's okay to be dirty."

Zorag's head already hurts as he stares at you. The persistent throbbing at the back of his skull gets worse with each word you say.

"Why are you even here?" Zorag asks. "There is nothing to do in this weather," he points at the window. The long rows of timbers glisten with dark sheen in the midst of the downpour. Wide puddles gather and shimmer on the sawdust-covered ground. Rolling your eyes, you straighten your posture. "I know that." Your father got sick a few days ago after working in the pouring rain. He is now home under your mother's care while you are in the office, helping out. Even though the other workers can't do much in this weather, you can still get some jobs done on the computer. "And I'm working," you reply to his original question. "But what are you doing here? You know, besides ruining the floor." Your snarky comment meets with Zorag's growl. His lips pull up in a grimace, showing off his teeth and drawing your attention to his teeth. The hoops around the base of his tusks match the ring hanging from his nose. "I came here to make sure the storages are closed and protected from the rain." "Well," you huff. "They are closed. I checked them in the morning."

The orc says nothing for long seconds. His nostrils flare, and his eyes darken. You know he tries to keep his patience in check. Nothing good comes from fighting with the boss's daughter even though you already did it several times and you never used your position against him.

"So you can clean up after yourself and go."

The deep rumble of his chest mixes with the thunder vibrating in the dark clouds. You can feel it both in your bones and between your legs. Your thighs clench for some friction.

"Listen, woman!" "What?" You snap. "It's your mess!"

And damn it, you are right. Zorag just hates it when he has to obey you, especially when your lips curl into that annoying smile that shouts arrogance and victory. His thick fingers tighten into fists. The black raincoat stretches around his trunk-like arms.

"You can find everything you need in the storage room," you add when the tall orc continues glaring at you without saying anything.

You turn back to your laptop while Zorag reluctantly moves to the storage room to mop up the floor after himself. You are eyeing the screen again, trying to remember where you left it, but your mind isn't as obedient as the orc in front of you. Zorag's tall and sturdy form fills the small space. He almost looks comical as he mops up the metal floor. He could break the stick with ease, even in an accident. Small drops still fall from his thick hair, soaking his coat and leaving a few faint marks on the ground.

You should really focus on work. You didn't leave your house early in the morning to get anything done. Just a few emails and a quick check of the orders and deliveries. You should be done with them already.

"Why did you come in anyway?" He asks but doesn't look at you. "You can do them at home too." "I left the laptop here," you reply. "And I wanted to leave the house a bit. It gets boring." He grunts in answer, but you have no idea if it's an agreement or not.

"It's done," Zorag grunts, disappearing into the other room for a second. "I'm going home." "Bye." You don't even look at him. You stared at him long enough already.

The door closes behind him, and you abandon your mailbox to try something else. The messages can wait. Your gaze swipes over the documents with long lists of dates and names. Most of them are familiar. Clients for years.

You pause on a company name in the nearby city with today's date.

Fuckfuckfuck

Jumping up from the chair, you grab your things, lock the door and run out of the pouring rain with a sudden urgency. Your raincoat hangs from your arm with your bag on your shoulder. Your hair and clothes get soaked within a few seconds. The cold drops run down your temple and stick your shirt to your body.

The door of one of the storages opens with loud creaks as you pull on the heavy metals. Your shoes slip in the mud, and you really need all your strength to open the building.

Your day couldn't get any better.

Zorag watches the whole scene from inside his car. He should leave. Why does he care what you are doing in your free time?

"What are you doing?" His voice booms through the sound of the rain behind you. "Oh my god!" You groan. "Why are you still here?" "What are you doing, woman?" He questions you stubbornly. "We have a delivery for today," you tell him, handing him the paper as you step into the building. You are grateful the rain doesn't reach you anymore, but it doesn't matter, anyway. You are soaked. "Leave it to me," he says after reading the paper. "Go home and… change your clothes." You will get sick if you stay like this. You are almost offended as he looks over you with his usual grimace. You scoff. "I can do it." "I didn't say you can't." "Then go home." If you are lucky enough, you will be home before the night falls. It shouldn't take long since the city is close, and you know the way without a navigator. For the orders, a smaller van would be enough with the company's logo on it. It calms you down a bit. You wouldn't feel comfortable driving a bigger vehicle.

Meanwhile, Zorag watches with a deep frown and a light snarl on his lips. His eyes are even darker than the sky outside. You definitely know what you are doing, and for a second, he almost turns out of the building to leave you if you are so stubborn, but damn it. He knows he will feel guilty later. His ma didn't raise an orc who would leave a woman without helping her first.

"Get in the car," he says after a while. "I will pack the things we need. And I will drive."

- Masterlist Ironridge Masterlist Patreon

#orc x human #orc x reader #monster x human #monster x reader #ironridge #monster boyfriend #monster romance #orc romance #orc boyfriend

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kbs-and-fds · 4 months

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Yo, Welcome to my photography blog!

This is a photography project with a focus on older digital cameras sold before the mid 2000s. I've been working with these sorts of cameras since 2022, which grew from my interest in retro computers that I have had since 2020 or so. Here, I'll introduce you to my cameras, my computer rig, and try to convince you that this is a cool hobby.

General Q & A:

Whats in the name? - Kb refers to Kilobyte, all of the photos I take with these cameras only take up a little over 100 Kilobytes of digital storage per photo. FD refers to the physical media the photos are stored in, currently one camera uses floppy disks (FD), the other two use compact flash (CF) and smart media (SM) cards. unfortunately, their shortened forms do not rhyme and so they do not matter.

What can I expect from this blog? - amateur photography using old cameras, I guess. I'll say some nonsense below each photo but you're free to ignore it. I don't plan on reblogging anything here, so don't expect that. I am the star of this blog. me me me. I tend towards finding weird buildings/architecture, "liminal spaces", sunsets, and generally trying to see how well I can make a photo look like a blender render in a Kane pixels video. don't expect any consistency, though. the medium will remain the same but the vibes will absolutely fluctuate with my mood. I'll try and tag things correctly if it's off putting.

Are you a cool person? - I tend to be! I don't want this place to be alienating for anybody but assholes who don't deserve to see the stuff I do. being a tumblr blog, I follow a lot of the standard stuff. jerks are not welcome and I'm not gonna give you the pleasure of an argument if you do turn your head round these parts.

who are you? - trans pan girl. takes pictures. listens to Femtanyl. much unlike Peter Parker.

My Cameras

Mavica FD-7

released in 1997, this was the second of Sony's "Digital Mavica" line of cameras. it records photos of around 50Kbs in size to a standard 3 1/2" floppy disk. it has some standard features like a manual focus wheel, 10x optical zoom, and exposure control. I haven't found a strict source but I believe this camera is less than one megapixel. I actually have a few different Mavica cameras (a fd-71/75/83/85/87 and a cd-1000) but they aren't different from the fd-7 enough to justify being used often. I'll make note on individual posts if I use 'em at all.

Kodak DC220

released in 1999, with a quality of exactly one megapixel the DC 220 is a weird little thing. it has custom software, connects to a computer via com ports with a transfer speed of ~11,000 bit/s. (roughly 30-60 seconds per photo in my experience) you can add custom text to your photos in the cameras built in software, and attach custom audio to each photo. it is a pain in the butt to get working, but it's quirks make it worth the frustration.

Olympus E-10

made in 2000 with a quality of a whopping four megapixels, the Olympus E-10 is the newest addition to my collection, and possibly the nicest camera I'll ever own. it's a fixed lens DSLR camera capable of 4x zoom, you can easily adjust the aperture and exposure on the fly, it's photos tend to be a whole 100kb in size (1/10th of a megabyte!) and to be entirely honest I have no idea how to use it. but I will eventually!

My Computer

I try to use all era-appropriate tech to transfer photos and do any edits, this is the computer I do all that processing on! its a Dell Optiplex gx1- the daddy of pretty much any computer used in public schools (Chromebooks don't count) It's got a Pentium 3 CPU clocking at 500MHz, 512mb ram, running windows ME. it has all the original Kodak DC220 software installed, and I can't really access the Kodak's photos any other way. I've also got a few other weird bits attached to it -an HP sketch pro cad tablet and an external data cartridge SCSI device. both work, but I don't really bother to use them, they just look neat.

that's about it. have a good one! thanks for reading this all, if you did.

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maximumkillshot · 8 months

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Home

Warnings: There are a lot with this one and it hits close to home. Mentions of S/A. The R word is used, sobbing, anxiety and mental episode. mentions of self harm, mentions victim blaming and slut shaming. MDNI. There is fluff spattered around.

Pairing: BangChanxReader

Characters: Bang Chan, Reader, mention of the person who S/A, people Slut Shaming and Victim Blaming.

A/N: Okay so this one is heavy. The things you are about to read have happened to me. I had a mental episode a while back. I wrote most of this during said episode. This is what I think Chan would do for his S/O if they went through and go through what I did. This blog has always been a safe space. I use my fictions to entertain as well as a platform to have safe conversations. If you need me as always I will hang around after drop.

I Can't Lose You Masterlist-CLICK HERE

Stray Kids Masterlist-CLICK HERE

ALL WORK IS UNDER ME AND MY BLOG. DO NOT TRY TO REPUBLISH OR STEAL MY WORK, AS THAT IS COPYRIGHTED UNDER ME AND IS CONSIDERED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE.

ANY WORK THAT YOU SEE ON OTHER SITES THAT ARE MY WORKS PLEASE NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY.

“YN?” Your husband called out to you. You couldn't hear him from the pressure of today. It created a seething pool of frustration and anger as you kneeled at the foot of the bed, wanting to pray, but now that you think about it the pain of being on the floor was a sweet torture in and of itself.

Usually, anger like this wouldn't be a problem for you. You would go down to the basement and punch granite with your poorly taped hands, yes you were only a kid then, not knowing how else to get the anger out only stopping when you'd hear a crunch. Yes, that was the start of negative coping mechanisms, and yes you are trying to either bury that anger or let it consume you fast before Chris gets home. He's dealt with enough, we don't need to add on to it.

Now you're no longer a child… as a matter of fact, you are now an adult, an adult with a hairpin trigger vaguely yet expertly disguised as comedic sarcasm. Depression that you don't remember not having… maybe when you were 8? You weren't sure. Not to mention a cast made of a myriad of physical and mental health issues…. Disabilities… and the cast of characters just keep growing! You have the medicine and the “coping techniques”, they called it, for success! Even those fail.

Trying to talk it out just made you more angry, the injustice looking more and more ludicrous by the second. Okay, let's try breathing. Yeah no. That didn't work either, it just gave your brain more oxygen, so your brain went from quantum computer speed to Sonic the fucking Hedgehog. Oh… ok oh oh! Let's try soundboarding. You know, talk to people, not yourself. That ended in yet another game of useless catch phrases like “calm down” and “you shouldn't be thinking of that.”

TELL ME SOMETHING I DON'T FUCKING KNOW THANK YOU! Oh, and I almost forgot the “Your method of thought isn't changing because you don't want to change '' DO YOU THINK I AM POKED ALL DAY AND SAY TO MYSELF…

‘OH I WANT TO FEEL MORE LIKE SHIT… I KNOW LET ME RUN MY FACE INTO A BRICK WALL OF ANXIETY REPEATEDLY UNTIL I CAN'T CONTROL MYSELF ANYMORE.’

You reverted to hurting the people around you due to your anger and frustration, plus you darkened the mood, you've always been a multitasker. My friends were right. I'm depressing, I was only kept around because of my ex. That was before they kicked me out… because they didn't want to believe he assaulted me. You go back to that night often…

“I didn’t want to do that, I felt icky” You told him after he came back from cleaning himself up in the bathroom, while you were left to clean the traces of himself from your own mouth. No aftercare, no thought about you. The ghost of a boy who used you, who was an on and off friend of almost 10 years…

“I know.” he answered with no emotion.

“Then… why?” You asked, your head cocked to the side.

“Because I really wanted it.” He puts his hand on your shoulder, “But I’m sorry you feel that way. Shit now I feel bad.”

Then it switched to those friends, on another night… “ I just don’t buy it. That DID NOT HAPPEN, I know him better than you.”

“I mean you did it anyway so you must’ve wanted it.”

You tried to explain that you were assaulted, it’s called coercive consent and it’s the most common form of assault. You were raped. You didn’t want to do it and he knew that but you wanted to make him happy. You tried to explain, to educate. They weren’t having it.This conversation at times whirls in your head. Making you itch to pull a trigger, do something to make the torture stop.

“You always overreact and you’re so annoying why don’t you just go the fuck away!”

“You’re so depressing just fucking go away! We only tolerated you because you are his girlfriend, just go the fuck away!” The intent in her voice. The reality. You trusted her most out of the entire group. She helped you emotionally… Now shaming you, blaming you.

Her boyfriend rendered you speachless when you called it what it was, it was rape via coercive consent:

“Oh I get the kind of person you are, you’re the type of person who gets felt up in the middle of the night by their significant other because they’re trying to get laid and you call it rape.”

You know the right method to take now, right… Yeah you do.

Isolate… process… torture yourself…cry… alone. Contain the monster, so it doesn't hurt anyone else… You're just a monster parading as a human. Don't forget it. This happens when you forget Y/N… stop being reckless. Always so fucking reckless…

You started clenching your hands one over the other, wanting to rake the top of your hands until they bled, trying to ground yourself. Until subconsciously, you did. You rocked as you did it, trying to soothe yourself.

Sometimes you swear people don't see you drowning right in front of their fucking eyes. You know how to swim, you know how to get out, to scream, punch, fight. You want to swim, you really do. But you can only do so much in a rip current. The lifeguard sees you. But instead of helping they yell “PADDLE! JUST PADDLE YOU'LL BE FINE!” It's a different level of patronization. It just makes you want to let the tides swallow you. Because why fight when the waters are so warm?

“Y/N?!” Chris yelled as he saw your bag tossed haphazardly on the couch, never where you put it. He stopped and listened carefully. He thought back to the last text you sent him. “Shit hit the fan at work …I don't want to feel right now. I'll see you at home.”

That middle sentence made his heart stop. He knows you… something was up. He tried texting you back, sending words of encouragement, calling, and leaving cute messages when you didn't pick up, and nothing was heard from you. As soon as he could get away from schedules he did. When he looked at the clock you had sent that message three hours beforehand, he never raced home faster.

He knows what your mind does to you. He sees the battles every day. When he’d compliment you and you would look down, not shy, but contradictory. When he’d pick you up you would freeze and he’d remind you that you aren’t too heavy, that he loves you in every single way that you think is impossible to love you. He’d always encourage you to wear what you want, do what you want. He would caress every single curve, never being able to keep his hands off of you. Whispering into your ear in public as he tilts your head up gently after asking for permission. He’d kiss you so delicately in front of a sea of people. On the red carpet, on stage, it didn’t matter. You were and are his person, and he loved showing you off. He couldn’t win the war in your mind for you, but he damn sure would fight those battles with you.

He would fight away those negative thoughts, he’d wrap his arms around you and sing to you to will those images, the anxiety and fear away. Until those thoughts were rendered useless. He’d wrestle with them for control, as soon as he won your mind back he gave it to you. He reminded you that you are here with him for a reason. He adores you, and nothing would change that.

It was something he promised you when he saw you breakdown while doing your medicines. You told him that you were ashamed of it all. All the illnesses, that you weren’t perfect and that you’d understand if he didn’t want you. He looked at you and helped with your medicines, learned about each of them, and their dosages. He was so gentle, smiling at you, wiping your tears. He looked at all the medicines and said, anything that keeps you alive is nothing to be ashamed of. You aren’t something to be ashamed of. He knows that sometimes you can’t hear him until he’s right in your ear. Now looked like that case.

You couldn't hear him calling out to you, your mind too loud, too vicious, bloodthirsty. When pain and self-deprecation are your main moods, all others seem like an abnormal concept. Something that is stolen, was it even real in the first place? You know one thing that was real… Chris. You hated being this… the medications, the constant fires in your mind, the barrage of hate aimed at yourself, of unbridled strength turned inward to rip yourself apart for no reason other than things piling up. He didn't deserve that. He deserves peace, the best… just like what he demands of himself, perfection.

You got through the gauntlet at your job. People undermining your authority, people on a power trip of their own. Sending others to try to intimidate, embarrass you into submission… as if you weren't a bloodthirsty wolf that could snap any second, biting their heads clean off. “An Alpha through and through,” that's what Chris would say, “Even Alphas have to bite their tongue, Love.”

That made you cry more because at this point you don't even know if your tongue is still existent, or if you swallowed the damn thing after you bit it off. Or worse… you still have it… but you lost your voice. You know that can't be it, we're too fucking stubborn for that.

But the hits didn't stop coming, traffic happened, then going to the doctor who said that the physical therapy you needed would eat into your personal time, your time to write, to cook for Channie and the boys, to spend time with Channie and the boys.. then you forgot the doctors note so you had to walk back in for it. Then you had to go home while you tried to talk about everything… and well now here we are.

Even now you try to problem solve, try to nitpick at yourself, the person he loves so much. You collapsed more on the floor of your shared bedroom, cross-legged thinking of the ocean, the violent, dangerous, tumultuous ocean… something simultaneously so beautiful and scary. You want to say you are like an ocean, but you don't see beauty in yourself, only a beast. That's all we'll ever be.

Chris freezes in the hallway hearing a sob break loose from you. He hadn't heard a sob like that before, it chilled his core. How does he approach this? He sees the doctor's note thrown next to your purse… He was happy you were approved for physical therapy, you really were in a lot of pain daily from the muscle and tendon weakness, but he looked at the times…

He looked to the hallway, “Oh…Baby Girl.” He had one piece of the puzzle. He knew you loved to cook for him and the boys but this schedule meant you couldn't do that for the foreseeable future. You enjoyed seeing the boys eating, and staying fueled, knowing without that they'd opt for less healthy options. Then he saw the paper right under it. A typed log… a leger of interactions throughout your day… “No…”

Right there, in black and white, was what you went through today, everything down to the sarcastic smirk your coworker had as you were barraged with pressure to break the rules… and you didn't break. He never would've expected you to. You are the strongest person he knows. Even under these conditions, Chris himself would break. In front of fifty plus people being berated, pushed to do something you knew you couldn’t do.

Right at the end of it was a line, written in plain ink by hand. “Vacation not given as described by supervisor. No week off.” With tear stains smudging the ink.

Chris started walking down the hall to the shared bedroom. As he walked closer he heard you mumbling as you sobbed. Things like “stop crying” and “it's nothing.” But one made him freeze right before he opened the door, “Chris is going to worry. You already take too much from him, get it together so he won't worry. It’ll hurt him. Stop hurting the people you love. You’re a monster.”

That made his eyes sting, you were worried about him above all else. He slowly opened the door and you couldn't find it in you to look up. You knew who it was. The aura you know and love, like salve on the holes you ripped into yourself. The small steps were only weighed down by his sneakers as he slowly spoke.

“Hey…Baby Girl?” The tone was even more soothing. We don't deserve that. “Can you look at me please?” You just shook your head. Too embarrassed at the shambling mess you are. The real you that you hide.

Before you knew it you saw two big hands undoing the laces on his sneakers, shortly after he toed them off. Slowly he sat in front of you groaning “Oooooookay criss-cross applesauce it is…” making you smirk as you wiped your nose with the inside of the collar of your shirt. Finally, as he settled he said “aaaaaughh” with a big puff of air…

You just tucked your head into your chest as you hid as much as you could. He waited for a few minutes, until he said, “We can address what happened in a few minutes. But you need to know. You don't take from me.”

Your tears kept falling as you listened, his tone calming the raging currents in your mind.

He looked at the engagement and wedding band on your left hand. He watched the tears fall, he saw the holes in you. He wanted to lunge at you, take that emotional knife away from you, smother you in affection. Hold you, his heart burned for it. Needle and thread ready to patch you up. To heal you.

He spoke softly, “You are my everything, Y/N. You aren't a burden, a disappointment, you aren't a chore, the only thing you took from me was my heart, but you had that before I even heard your voice. The second I saw you… I gave it to you. I don't want it back either.”

You hiccuped breaths as you listened. He scooted a little closer and he put his hands out, palm up into your vision… asking for your hands. That was when you realized you were scratching at them again.

You unfurled them from one another, hissing where one nail was slightly deeper, the tiny droplet of blood following soon after.

He looked at your hands, humming in the back of his throat, “One second.” He didn’t want to show it, but he was worried. You feel so much and he just wants to be there to hold you, to love you.

Then popped up and left. He came back with a first aid kit, “Oooooookay heeaarr we goar again... criss-cross.” That made you giggle the tiniest bit. Chris always loved to hear your laugh. Your laugh is infectious and it always never fails to brighten his day. He knew he was making progress.

You couldn't see it but Chris was smirking at your tiny cute form. And hearing that little giggle made him want to channel Changbin and squeal at the cuteness overload.

“Okay my Koala Bear… hands.” When you both had started dating, he noticed you always hung on to him. You explained that he was warm and you were always frozen, especially in the colder months. You asked if it was okay for you to hold on to him like that. Internally he was trying his best not to giggle like a school boy at the prospect of you holding on to him like this naturally. He looked at you and said, “It’s no problem, you just remind me of a Koala Bear, so cute and tiny. Can I call you that? My Koala Bear?” And you nodded blushing. Since then, you’ve been his Koala Bear.

You presented your hands to him wincing at the stretch of the new scratches and he said “So tiny… so cute. Okay tiny sting” he cleaned the bigger scratch and put a bandage on it, and checked the rest. Once he deemed it all good to have your hands back. He kissed them then returned them to your lap. “Thank you for letting me clean them.”

You nodded and hummed. The voices slowed down. They always slowed down around him. He always was your safe place. Like home base in a baseball game. If you made it there, you’re safe. You’re home. That thought made you sad, surprisingly. How are you safe with only one person? You should have security in yourself not in someone else. Your brain was waiting to start assaulting you again.

“Is it loud in there?” Chris asked. You've told him about all of this before, this is the first time he's seen it this bad though. The voices, memories attack you. You explained to him that sometimes your brain will do this, you try to hold it back but sometimes it just can’t be helped.

“Mhmm”

“People don't help… right?”

“mhmm”

“Can you tell me what's going on in there?”

You told him. Some.. not all. You also told him about that pesky intrusive thought about your ex and your friends.

His body went rigid as he said, “No… they're the ones that are wrong, not you. Your ex…” He wanted to choose his words carefully. He knew that you blame yourself at times. The memory of you explaining why you were hesitant to go further when you were dating. He assured you there was no pressure. That he loved you for you, the rage boiled in him and it still does because you were never at fault for this. Especially when you trusted that asshole enough to experiment with him. He was going to be your first for everything but after what he did. The trust was gone, rightfully so.

Chris continued, “He took advantage of you, and coerced you into consent, that is not love. That is not okay? That is sexual assault. The way that your friends acted was disgusting, the way he acted was sub-human… You are not depressing, you are one of the most beautiful, talented, funny, caring, loving people I have…” his voice gave out and he cleared his throat, “You are one of the most amazing people I've ever met in my life. I love you so much and I know you feel like you're a burden on me but being with you has been the most amazing thing I've ever experienced.”

He tilted your head up and you let him, he had tears in his eyes as he said, “You have never been nor will you ever be a monster.” Your tears picked up as you looked into his eyes. You could tell, Chris doesn’t lie. He’ll tell you the truth. His tears started falling as you leaned forward, reaching for him, needing contact. When you saw him you needed his warmth, you need him to heal you. You were losing hope, faith, everything as you watched the holes in you. Seeing him holding the needle and thread. By holding you, being with you, just being himself, it heals you. You whimpered, “Need you…” As your tears switched from self-hate to desperation… you needed him and he could tell.

He untangled his legs and scooped you up, cradling you in his arms as he rocked you petting your hair back, “You are my inspiration, my eternal love, you are the best part of my past, my present, and my future. You are the future mother to my children, the woman I'm going to grow old with, my forever and always. You are my Y/N, and I am never going to let you forget who you are and why I love you, okay?” He started crying, shielding you in his chest, protecting you. Stitching you together as you heard his heartbeat. You cried on him, relieved that you were with him.

You pulled back from him nodding. He tried to kiss your lips but you said “I'm all snotty” and he giggled. Leave it to you to be worried about snotty kisses. You looked so adorable, cheeks and nose red, nose running, tears stopping, the twinkle coming back into your eyes as he looked at you.

“Are you denying me my snotty kisses?” He giggled as he said “Okay fine. There's no snot on your forehead” he pecked your forehead, “none on your cheeks”, and laid another peck, this pattern continued for any expanse of skin he could get his lips on as you giggled at him and his barrage of affection. When he stopped he wiped your nose with his sleeve and he kissed you gently on the lips. He savored moments like this, being able to heal you, to pick you up. He looked into your eyes as he said, “now I am thinking I’ll draw up a bath for us and I’ll give you a nice massage. After that we order take away, from your favorite place, then we watch something, Hm?” He looked at you for an answer as he kept wiping tears.

You nodded and gently, he placed you back where you were and went to get the bath ready. You'll always have hard days, but those days turn into amazing nights with Chris. Your home.

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iguessweallcrazyithinktho · 10 months

Text

𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐞𝐫 • 𝐉𝐮𝐝𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐚𝐦

💌𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Someone give me a plot where muse a happens to be someone famous (actor, athlete, etc) who has a bad reputation. Enters muse b who is a pr manager, who got hired to deal with them. The two gets off on the wrong foot, but thing is they’re stuck with each other until muse b’s contract end. They’re forced to be around one another and even have to share the same room in the hotel as they travel. One thing leads to the other and they begin developing feelings for one another. Muse a then finds out some horrible life changing news and cuts all ties with muse b, even getting them fired. However, one night muse b gets drunk and calls muse a telling them how much they miss them.

🏷️𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 4.8k(I'm sick)

🏷️𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff, angst

🏷️𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: Jude hates reader, a blonde in this, some guy named Jeff. Denise is apart of this

🏷️𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐬: Jude Bellingham x PR manager reader

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: this took way to long to write lol enjoy

Jude Bellingham Masterlist

⏝꒷۰꒷⏝꒷۰꒷⏝꒷۰꒷⏝

Jude was a messy man.

He knew it. Everyone knew it and his team especially knew it.

After joining real Madrid Jude fame grew over night. Score after score he became one of the best players of this generation. With that came lots of girls which also came lots of gossip.

None of it was good for the young footballer. He had years ahead of him and needed to keep it all clean.

Luckily for Jude his team came up with a solution. They’re going to hire you.

You’re a pr manager. You were young and fresh into your career but nonetheless good at what you do. It was only fitting that they hired you to help keep Jude’s imagine clean before something happened.

Reader pov

I typed away at your computer, answering whatever email that came through. Today was the day I was meeting Jude to discuss my job with him. Nerves took over me, it wasn’t every day I met a famous footballer. Before this I only worked with smaller celebrities, never anyone big like him so I was nervous.

A knock at the door snapped me out of my typing. I cleared my throat before speaking.

“Come in please.”

The door swung open slowly revealing jude. The 6ft man walked into my office without uttering a word. He looked upset about something, but still butterflies filled my stomach for some odd reason.

“um.. sit please.” I pointed to the chair sitting across from me Jude did as I asked and sat down in the chair.

“so what are we doing?” he asked in a plain tone. I frowned. We’re not off to a good start it seems.

“hello to you too Mr. Bellingham.” I meet his brown eyes. “I was going to shake your hand, but it seems like we’ve already got to the point. I’m y/n and I’m your PR manager.”

“why do I need a PR manager? I can manage myself.” He said with a loud exhale. I swear I saw him roll his eyes at me, but I ignored it.

“ Mr. Bellingh-“

“stop calling me that. Call me Jude.” He snapped stopping me.

I put on a fake smile. I was getting frustrated with him and we haven’t even been talking for 5 minutes.

“Ok Jude, the reason I’m your PR manager is because you’re messy. You sleep with plenty of girls and they run to gossip blogs for their 5 minutes of fame and it’s ruining your image.”

I sat back in my chair, throwing the pencil on the table.

“Now if you don’t want me to help you keep your image clean then too bad because you’re stuck with me for 2 years due to a contract.”

Jude looked at me. His jaw clenched meaning I got under his skin. Good. If he wants to be an asshole than so will I. Two can play this game.

“fine. Are we done here?” clearly he was ready for this to be over and so did I to be honest.

“Yes, we are. It was nice to meet you. Have a good day.”

I picked up my pencil back up and began writing. Jude sucked his teeth and got up. He walked out of the room slamming the door a little bit. I rolled my eyes. He was going to be hell.

Jude’s pov

I hate her guts. I don’t know why my team even hired her. She was bitchy, something I didn’t like. I didn’t need anyone to keep my image clean. Quite frankly I was doing fine so what was the purpose of her.

I walked out of the building to the car where my mom sat. She noticed the shift in my mood the second I got in.

“how did it go?”

“I don’t like her.” I mumbled as I put on my seatbelt.

“why don’t you like her?” she asked as she put the car in drive. I sighed. “I don’t know. I’m just not feeling her vibe.”

She hummed and I looked at her. “maybe you’ll warm up to her.”

I doubt it.

Reader pov

Today was my first day working with Jude. I dreaded this. After how our first meeting went I wasn’t ready to deal with his sass.

I was going to the ballon d’or with him. I had to make sure he didn’t answer anything weird or meet up with anyone. Anyone being girls.

Under the request of Jude’s other team members I would be flying with him on a private jet.

I wasn’t too happy about this. If I could I would fly commercial, but I needed to act like I loved this.

I arrived at the airport way before everyone else did. As always my attention was very much on my laptop answering emails.

“You’re here early.” I heard behind me. I turned around to see Jude standing there, but not by himself, but with another woman who looked exactly like him.

“yes I am.” I shut my laptop and stood up. “its nice to meet you. I’m y/n.”

I stuck my hand out to the woman. She smiled and shook it. Finally someone nice.

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Denise.” I smiled back at her. “ok the plane will be here in 20 minutes.” I say. I pick up my laptop sticking it in my laptop bag.

Those 20 minutes went by fast and before I knew it we were on the plane. I sat in the back and struck up a conversation with Denise. O I could feel Jude’s pissed off energy as I spoke with her, but that didn’t stop my conversation.

Jude’s pov

I hate watching her talk to my mom. Ever since we got on the plane they’ve been talking about something and I hated it. Hearing her laugh pissed me off and so did her voice.

I turned to my phone trying to block out their conversation, but her laughter cut through. I’m already sick of her and we haven’t even known each other for that long.

Eventually the plane landed and we were finally getting off. I was the first off and into the car that was going to drive us to the hotel. Later y/n and my mom climbed in.

The car ride was silent up until y/n spoke. “um so since we’re only getting two hotels, Denise and mark are of course sharing one and me and you Jude are sharing.”

I felt my blood boil when I heard what she said. Could this week get any worse.

“what? I’m not sharing a room with you. I’ll buy you your own room, I’m not sharing with you.” she was about to say something until my mom spoke.

“Jude, you’re sharing a room with her and that’s final. I don’t want to hear anymore complaining from you.”

I ran my hand down my face and sighed. “fine.”

Great now she has my mom taking her side. I swear I could see y/n smirking out the corner of my eyes which made it worse. Can’t wait for this to be over.

Y/n pov

Once we reached the hotel room Jude was off. I suspected it was because he was embarrassed after his mom yelled at him.

I grabbed a room key and made my way to the room where I will be staying with Jude.

When I unlocked the door I was faced with Jude.

His hands were on his hips as he stared at the bed. The bed!

There was only one fucking bed.

I dropped my bags as the door clicked behind me.

“this day of course can get worse. Not only am I sharing a room with you, I’m sharing a bed as well.” Jude mumbled.

He muttered a few curse words after and sat down in the chair in the corner of the room.

“I can go see if they can get us a two bed room.”

I turned around ready to leave, but Jude stopped me.

“don’t bother. This hotel is packed. There won’t be any rooms left.”

“ok.” I sighed. “Well I’ll try not to take to much space up. I’m small anyways.”

Jude didn’t say a word to me so I took this as a sign to not say anything else. It was late at night so I got myself ready for sleep. Getting my clothes, taking a quick shower and climbing in bed all while acting as if Jude doesn’t exist.

Jude entered the bathroom once I climbed under the covers. Sleep over took me before I got a chance to watch him come out.

The next day I woke up to my alarm.

I groaned, reaching over to the nightstand to turn it off. I was about to get up until I felt an arm around me. Pushing back the covers I looked at it.

It was Jude’s of course.

I turned around to see Jude passed out, Mouth open slightly. He was sleeping peacefully, but I refuse to let a jackass have a day of peace.

“get up! Balloon d’or day!”

I slapped his cheeks and he woke up with a jerk. I removed his arm from me climbing out of bed. I said nothing about the incident, but I’m sure he knows.

Jude’s pov

I can’t believe my arms were wrapped around y/n as I woke up. I swear I was on the other side of the bed when I went to sleep, but subconsciously I must have wrapped myself around her over the night.

I got up to get myself ready. Today was a special day: it was balloon d’or day.

Me and y/n traded places in the bathroom and that was the last time. I didn’t see her again till it was time to go to the awards.

“Are we ready to go?” she asked me but my attention wasn’t on her words. It was on her figure. She stood there in front of me in a black dress with light makeup. It was obvious she was trying not to stand out, but I couldn’t deny she looked stunning.

“jude.” She called out my name and I looked at her face that had a frown on it. “are you ready?”

I nodded. “yeah” I cleared my throat. “ I’m ready.”

She smiled awkwardly and turned around to walk out the hotel room. I sighed knowing she caught me staring.

Y/n pov

I caught Jude looking at me earlier and those butterflies filled my stomach as he did so. I hated my body for reacting like that.

I pushed it to the back of my mind . When we got the d’or ceremony Jude took some pictures for the ceremony. When he finished we made our way inside and separated for the rest of the evening.

Jude won a kopa trophy. I was happy for him no doubt. I let him know when we returned back to our shared hotel room.

“ congratulations.”

Jude sat his kopa on the desk in the room. “thanks.” He gave me a soft smile before pulling off his suit coat.

I sat down on the bed with a sigh, pulling off my heels. When they finally off I climbed back and laid on the perfectly made bed and shut my eyes.

I can hear Jude moving around the room, but I ignored him.

In the middle of me shutting my eyes I fell into a slumber. I didn’t realize until I felt someone shaking me.

I groaned, opening my eyes. It was Jude.

“what?”

“you can’t sleep on top of the blanket you know that right?” Jude said in an annoyed tone.

I sat up. “you don’t have to be an asshole about it.” I got up and pulled the blanket back as I heard Jude, who’s back is facing me, suck his teeth. I got under the blanket, still in my dress but I didn’t care. I was too tired to care.

Jude walked to his side of the bed. He was only wearing boxers, no shirt unlike last night. “where’s your shirt?”

Jude pulled back the cover and got under.

“Why are you worrying about it?”

It was now my turn to suck my teeth. I laid down turning my back to him and drifted off to sleep, ready for this day to be over.

Jude pov

I woke up this morning feeling great. Last night I won my kopa and I couldn’t be more excited about that.

I stretched ready to get up, but something heavy on my chest stopped me. I looked down to see y/n laying on my chest.

This is the second time we ended up tangled in each other arms. I couldn’t lie I love having someone cuddling up to me in the morning, but knowing it was y/n pissed me off despite my heart fluttering in my chest.

I shook y/n. “wake up.”

y/n opened her eyes. She looked over at absolutely disgusted. It took everything in me not to laugh at her face.

“time to get up. We got a flight back to Madrid.” I got up to go to the bathroom to brush my teeth. When I got out of the bathroom y/n was now up. She was in absolutely nothing seeing how her dress was now pooled on the floor.

Her back was facing me but that didn’t stop me from tearing my eyes away from her.

“Fuck y/n. At least tell me you’re changing.”

“sorry. That’s what happens when you share a room.” She mumbled as I Heard clothes being thrown around.

A brief moment of silence fell between the two of us before y/n spoke.

“you can look now Jude.”

Turning around she was now in some jeans and a shirt. A smirk painted her face making me roll my eyes and go back to what I was doing so we could leave sooner.

A few days have passed since we returned to Madrid. I went back to training and Y/n went back to working in her office where she said she wouldn’t bother me.

I was relieved. Tonight I was going to make the most of it.

I found myself inside the sweaty club with a drink in my hand. Several girls have already came up to me begging for my attention. I made small talk to be polite, but I didn’t give them much. They were gold digging and trying to sleep with me more than anything.

I’m not sure what’s gotten into me. Any other time I’d be excited to talk to a bunch of girls but not today.

Maybe it’s the alcohol in my system, but I couldn’t stop thinking about y/n.

Her tan skin, soft lips, and pretty eyes filled my head. I stared at her so much that every little detail about her was burned into my mind. She was like a fog I couldn’t clear from my head. I didn’t really hate her if I’m being completely honest. I was just an asshole the first day we met and haven’t changed because in my mom words I was stubborn.

As I sat staring off into space a girl came up and sat next to me. She was blonde, thin and had an ok face. She was ok looking, but I knew I wasn’t interested in her right away.

“How are you?” she asked, her flirty tone and toothy smile making me cringe. “ I’m good.” I brought my drink to my lips and drunk the rest of it. I hated that it was empty because I needed more.

For the next 15 minutes the girl tried to make conversation with me. It was clear she was trying to get in my pants. After a bit I was tired of listening to her. Without a word I got up and walked away. The blonde followed me making me roll my eyes. “where are you going?”

“ I’m going home.” I answered plainly. I stopped outside the club pulling out my phone ready to call a friend to pick me up.

I felt the girl hand trail up my arm. I looked at her with a disgusted look on my face. She really didn’t give up.

“I’m not interested darling. You can stop trying.”

She sighed, dropping her hand and rolling her eyes. “Fine, but you don’t know what you’re missing out on.”

She walked away with a dramatic stomp. I couldn’t help but laugh at how stupid it looked.

Y/n pov

My phone going off woke me from my beautiful slumber. I groaned reaching over and picking it up.

“hello?”

“y/n, it’s Jude.”

I sat up rubbing my eyes. “what do you want Bellingham?”

There was a brief silence on the other end before Jude spoke. “yesterday I went out to the club and a girl was trying to get my attention, but I wouldn’t let her. Moral of the story is someone took a picture of me and her and now its all over the internet.”

When Jude finished I groan. “oh my God. Ok I’m on it give me a few hours.”

I hung up the phone getting to work.

After two hours I did everything I could. Getting some of the pictures taken down and an article out stating he didn’t know that girl and left Alone that night.

The next time my phone rung it was of course Jude.

“yes Bellingham?”

“thank you for that. I didn’t think you were going to be able to do much.”

I scuffed. “I feel insulted that you think I wouldn’t be able to do anything. It’s my job, I’ll find a way.”

I heard Jude laugh on the other end making me smile.

“anything else you need Bellingham?” I asked. My voice softer than ever.

“yeah.” “what would that be?”

“call me Jude, darling.”

I felt butterflies fill my stomach at the name he gave me. “ok Jude.”

Jude POV

I feel good today. The day before, y/n fixed an issue I had. I don’t know why I thought I didn’t need a PR manager because I totally do.

We had a match today and I thought I’d repay her by inviting her to the game.

“you’re wearing my jersey?” I asked when I walked up to y/n and my mom. She turned around.

“Yeah.” She looked down at it “I was planning on wearing the other teams jersey, but I decided to be nice since you invited me.”

I rolled my eyes making her laugh. After greeting my mom I said my goodbyes and went to go get ready to play.

An hour later I was on the pitch chasing the ball. 50 minutes or so nothing went on until I somehow found the ball in the back of the net.

The crowd interrupted into a cheer, I ran to the edge of the field throwing my arms wide to celebrate, soaking in the love I was receiving.

When the game ended the team went to applauded the crowd. I found myself finding my mom in the stands. I waved to her earning a wave back. I see y/n standing there smiling at our interaction. I smiled seeing her standing there with my mom. She just fits there.

After the game I was reunited with them. I offered y/n to come with us to dinner but she passed up on it saying she had work to finish, so here me and my mom are on our way my ourselves.

“you like her don’t you?”

My mom asked out of nowhere in the car.

“what?” “I see the way you look at her, you like her.”

“I don’t.” I scrunched up my face. My mom laughed. “sure.”

Maybe she was right. The past few days a lot changed. The feelings I had for her was confusing. I never felt this way for anyone. This must be what liking someone felt like. Boy was I scared.

After dinner I made my way home. I was exhausted and ready to go to sleep.

When I got in bed I grabbed my phone and logged into Twitter. The first thing I see is a post about y/n. Everyone asking who she was. Lots of people speculated that she was my girlfriend and many said she was no one which isn’t exactly a lie.

I didn’t expect this to happen, but I hoped when she woke up the next morning she would fix it.

Y/n POV

I woke up to my notifications going off. Great what could it be this time I thought to myself.

I grabbed my phone to see what seemed like a million request to my Instagram. “what the fuck!”

I opened my phone to see why this was. The first thing I notice is a text from Jude.

I’m sorry  please be able to fix it

I’m confused so I opened Twitter. My face was plastered all over the app. It was because of yesterday’s game. They thought I was Jude’s girlfriend.

I cursed and pulled back the blanket hoping I could fix this before it got worse.

After an hour I couldn’t fix it. It was clear the damage was already done. I sat defeated. This was the worse thing that could happen to me. Not only did people know who I was but I was being harassed because they thought I was Jude’s girlfriend.

My phone rung, but I couldn’t bring myself to pick it up.. not right now.

I didn’t know what I was going to do. With my job being me following Jude around I knew this wouldn’t go well. His fangirls would always think we’re dating and will harass me. I knew I couldn’t work with Jude anymore for my sanity.

Jude POV

I tried to call y/n, but she didn’t pick up. She saw my text which meant she knew what was going on.

I feel bad. All I wanted was to repay her for fixing my problem, but ended up with an even bigger problem. If she’s pissed at me I wouldn’t be mad about it.

A few hours passed and y/n still hasn’t called or picked up any of my calls. I grew worried. I tried calling my other team members to see what they knew what was going on.

“jude?” my team member Jeff said what he picked up. Before I could say anything else he spoke before me.

“y/n quit.”

My heart dropped into my stomach. “what?”

“yeah she said she didn’t want to make your career worse. I tried to make her stay, but it didn’t work.”

I shook my head, pitching the bridge of my nose.

I hung up the phone and tried to calling y/n again. When she didn’t pick up I texted her, but still it was no use.

“fuck!”

I threw my phone on the bed beside me.

“What’s wrong Jude?” my mom voice filled my ears. I didn’t look up at her. I just spoke. “y/n quit.”

“oh honey I’m sorry. Was it because of yesterday?”

I nodded. “yeah. Everyone thought we were dating. I thought she’ll be able to fix it, but she couldn’t. Now she won’t pick up my calls.”

“give her some time.” I looked up at my mom. “she might need some time right now. It’s all a lot.”

She was right so that’s what I did.

A few days have passed since I last talk to y/n. I missed her badly I couldn’t lie. I can’t believe someone I hated so badly at first, I was now missing.

My friends invited me to the club tonight to clear my mind. I had several drinks with the intention of getting wasted and it worked. An hour later and I was drunk.

Of course the person who clouds my mind happens to be y/n. I missed her, kind of yearned for her. I miss annoying her. I needed to get her back.

I pulled out my phone finding y/n name in my contacts. The phone rung 2 times before y/n picked up.

“y/n?” I slurred out.

Y/n POV

The song of booming music on the other end of the call made me wince. “Jude, why are you calling me? Where are you?”

This was the first time I answered Jude’s call in two weeks and I didn’t expect it to be loud on the other end.

“y/n, I miss you.” I heard Jude say on the other end.

“Jude are you drunk?”

The sound of a woman voice and Jude shouting out no over the music flooded through the phone. A minute passed before it was quiet on the other side. He must be outside now I thought.

“sorry it was loud.”

“Jude where are you?” I grew concerned. He sounded extremely intoxicated and I’m sure he wasn’t aware of shit when he was drunk. “ I’m going to pick you up.”

I grabbed my keys and after Jude told me his location I drove there. 10 minutes later I spotted him outside the club.

A bunch of girls surrounded him making me roll my eyes. I Parked my car and got out.

“jude.” At the sound of my voice Jude turned to me. “sorry ladies. My ride is here.”

Those girls watched as Jude quickly walked away to my car, getting into the passenger seat. I got back into the driver’s seat and drove off before anyone could get a picture.

“Why’d you pick me up?” Jude asked as he laid back against the seat. “I just wanted to make sure you got back safely, that’s all.”

Jude turned his head looking at me. My breath hitched, but I didn’t look over at him.

“I said I missed you.”

I bit the inside of my cheek. “I know I heard you.”

“why did you leave y/n?”

I sighed. “Jude, we’re at your house.” I parked the car expecting him to get out.

“y/n, talk to me baby.” Jude turned my face with his thumb forcing me to look his way. My stomach interrupted in butterflies at his action and words.

“I left because I don’t want to ruin your career and mines. I have to follow everywhere and that means those fan girls would think I’m dating you and I’m going to get harassed every time. I’m not ready for. They already found my Instagram and started dming me telling me I’m ugly.” I ran my hand over my face. “so yeah that’s why I left.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” Jude commented.

“Its ok-“

“no it’s not. I should have thought about this before inviting you. I knew my fans were cry but I didn’t expect them to find you so I’m sorry.”

“I know you are Jude and it’s ok. I promise.” I looked at Jude and smiled softly.

“You’re going to come back right?”

I laughed. “is that what you want so badly?”

Jude nodded. “more than anything.”

“Ok fine. I’ll see if I can comeback.”

Jude smiled. “perfect. thank you for the ride by the way. I’m happy to see you again.”

Jude hugged me once he unbuckled his seatbelt. If this was the first few days of meeting Jude I would have pulled away from him, but it wasn’t. I found myself wrapping my arms around him shocking myself.

When Jude pulled away his face was inches away from mine. His eyes fell to my lips. My heart thumped in my chest at the action.

“Can I kiss you?” Jude asked at a whispered. I nodded slightly.

Jude kissed me seconds later and I swear my heart stopped in my chest for a second.

His lips so soft and his tongue even softer when he slipped It into my mouth chasing mine.

He pulled away and kissed my cheek.

“ok I’m going to go now.” Jude pulled away and opened the door as I sat their flustered.

“have a good night love.” Jude Shut the door walking to his house. I exhaled.

“good night Jude.”

Tell me what else to write since I don't have ideas for some reason. Jude, Dominik, Trent, Ruben, and kylian

#jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham #jude bellingham fluff #Jude Bellingham fanfiction #jude bellingham one shot

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