#i'm not gonna tag the examples I'm already risking to much by mentioning them in the post

[starberry-cupcake]

It’s the end of Aro Week and I decided to throw caution to the wind and talk about something that can potentially be a polarizing topic. I’m putting it on read-more not only because of length but also because in 2020 this blog turns 10 years of age and I’ve learned to leave a window open for retreat when it comes to Opinions, so I don’t know how long I’ll dare to have this up. 

This is going to be about the aroace experience, fandom, ships, representation, fanservice, amatonormativity, allosexual normativity and transformative fanwork. 

So, basically, a minefield, so tread with care. 

Since the dawn of fandom time, there has been an aspect of it that is known (nowadays) as transformative. There are studies, dissertations and essays about this, and most if not all agree on the fact that the portion of fandom that is transformative tends to belong to the less represented portion of it in the media they consume. 

It’s mostly people whose identities are rarely represented those who tend to transform, making a space in their favorite pieces of media for themselves and others. That has, in tow, created a scene in which authors and content creators are born within fandom and get exposed to these types of content and reproduce them as well.

The cornerstone of transformative fandom, to the point of being one of the main organizational elements in fandom-driven platforms, are ships. And when someone mentions the word “ship”, it most often comes with the added non-said descriptive of “romantic” and “sexual” attached to it. 

Now, like I said, a lot of those who are involved in transformative fandom tend to go for less represented types of identities, and heteronormativity tends to be questioned often. Sometimes, it is legitimately for representation purposes, sometimes it’s for objectifying reasons. 

On the other hand, in the media-creating sphere, there is a thing known as “baiting”. This word is used when pieces of media hint towards non het relationships that end up not coming to fruition. 

This issue has reached paragons of shamelessness with creators using fandom for their own purposes, like making a series win an award, getting renewed or gathering numbers in cons, to then turn against the same portion of fandom by banning transformative fandom from cons, meet and greets and having actors and crew members publicly shame fanfiction or fanart. It became serious shit. 

This, in tow, brought another problem. Baiting (and what used to be considered “queer-coding”) started becoming an immediate red flag for people, a warning to whether getting engaged or not with a piece of media. 

In the mostly legitimate pitchfork and torches march against baiting, canonically aroace characters were caught in the fire, and queerplatonic relationships suffered the price of not fitting in the amatonormative and allosexual normative space fandom created. 

It’s a standard for fandom that one of the most necessary reasons for transformative work, for fanfiction mostly, is to make characters confess the love they never did confess on screen/page and, most often than not, fuck each other senseless as a sort of “necessary guarantee of their bond”. Consummation, if you will. 

Statistically speaking, explicit fics tend to be much more popular than non explicit ones and romantic relationships are what move the main search engines of fanfic platforms. 

Headcanon-wise, anyone can do what they want. If a character is interpreted one way or another, that’s not for anyone to police. 

With aroace characters, though, it’s a bit tricky, because it’s incredibly rare the amount of times a character is explicitly in the spectrum, and any evidence you can gather, which isn’t outright hearing it, is a lack of something. 

A lack that fandom interprets in another way. 

You can have a character be sexually attracted and romantically attracted to another and have that be enough for an audience to understand their orientation, to an extent, but an aroace character seems to have to explicitly state it because the lack of romance or sex in their narratives will be interpreted by fandom as “incomplete”. 

It’s more frequent for fandom to interpret a character who is not in a romantic or sexual relationship as “lacking” it and “fix” it in fic than for it to be headcanoned as aroace. 

An adjacent issue happens with this and the old notion of “queer-coding”. Audiences tend to sometimes interpret that lack as the incapacity for a media creator to explicitly state that the character is homosexual. 

The unintended consequence of years of coding, baiting and censorship of non het relationships in media was the invisibilization of relationships canonically in the aroace spectrum. 

For example, the first reaction to Elsa from Frozen not having a romantic relationship in the movie was that she was an amatonormative and allosexual lesbian rather than somewhere in the aroace spectrum. Not that there aren’t a myriad of overlaying possibilities between the two things, but you get my point. 

The lacking, the incompleteness that fandom most often sees in characters is filled in, most often than not, with gay romantic and sexual relationships, as a result of the years of queer-coding in media. You know, the good ol’ “if she doesn’t have a boyfriend, she must be a lesbian” stance. Fandom is, sometimes, like a family dinner with a 60+ year old uncle. 

This is a problem because it creates, within fandom, instances of tug of war between two under-represented factions who both deserve the due representation and which sometimes, very often, overlay in the same people, who fall in both spectrums. It creates arguments and fights for one or other character between the two, as if they were mutually exclusive at all times.  

I recently came across different levels of discourse and comments on two pieces of media for this reason, in two different sides. 

One concerned Mackenzi Lee’s A Lady’s Guide To Petticoats & Piracy, in which the lead is aroace and there is a girl who is romantically attracted to her and there is a hint of a potential qp relationship. After reading it I found in some review spaces opinions that considered the author hadn’t “gone all the way” with it, as if it was “cop out” for a potential lesbian romance, taking into account that the first volume of the series was centered on an mlm relationship, which gave people certain expectations.

The opposite happened in the webcomic Go Get A Roomie, in which a female lead character who seemed to be aroace for years ended up in a romantic and sexual relationship with the protagonist and there isn’t so far much of a descriptive of where her identity lied to begin with, but with some meaningful conversations that seemed to imply the spectrum after having suffered trauma. And this can be perceived as a sort of “deception” and to the problematic notion of aroace-ness as a “treatable phase”. 

Both stories are valid. Both roads towards self-discovery are valid. There isn’t an immediate denial of the spectrum for one or other possibility and both narratives are experiences that happen to people, even maybe the same people at different times in their lives. 

But the two happen to include female relationships and boy are those underrepresented. Like I said, it isn’t that both things can’t overlay in a myriad of places, Lillian could be a demisexual demiromantic, for all I know, Sim could be homoromantic and asexual, we don’t know the specifics. 

It’s likely and valid to have a gut reaction when you think you’re being represented and then you’re not entirely. And that’s understandable. But it’s a pity that we have tugs of war for scraps of representation. 

So, on the one hand, with headcanons, we tend to get fandom fights, most often than not between underrepresented identities, because we’re fighting for the little there is, when in reality we should be uplifting each other...but anyway, moving on. 

That’s all in the realm of interpretation, up until the moment the author makes the characters explicitly make choices and take action. That’s someone having a headcanon because of things the piece of media was doing and then having it proven right or wrong, or never having it proved at all. 

The other thing, where it gets nasty, is when fandom “fixes” canonically aroace characters. This is also incredibly frequent, most often than not with mlm ships, or what fandom considers mlm ships. 

One of the nastiest last year was the Good Omens debacle. 

Neil stated that Aziraphale and Crowley weren’t “homosexual men” because they weren’t “men” and they weren’t sexual beings (the whole “making an effort” thing that explicit fic writers like to latch onto). Neil also said they love each other, however that wants to be interpreted, opening it up enough for it to be platonic or romantic or anything you want. 

Fic writers have written more GO fics in the last year than ever probably, because of the show, and they’ve experimented with a lot of places of the spectrum. I’m not here to judge anyone because a GO fic was my favorite ace explicit fic I’ve read, so interpretations can be fascinating, I’m all here for them.  

The problem arose when people (mostly cis het women) on social media (mostly twitter) started calling Neil a homophobe for not making them pretty much fuck on screen or explicitly state that they were fucking offscreen in canon. 

That’s where we need to draw a line and reevaluate our life choices. 

I can’t count the amount of posts, tweets and reactions I saw rejecting the possibility of Aziraphale and Crowley not being a) cis men and b) allosexual. The two things created a gutted reaction, to the point that you have to consider the nature and intended result of those comments and, in that case, who’s being an intolerant asshole. 

There was a point in time in which fake woke rep discourse became the excuse for people to demand fanservice from creators, especially in the cis het women + mlm media overlay, and this is a problem. We need to separate the discourses, we need to figure out why we’re here and what we’re demanding. 

Another similar example I saw recently, yet less overwhelming, was with Banana Fish and the queerplatonic relationship between Ash and Eiji in canon. 

I came into BF later than most, but when I read the epilogue manga I found one of the earliest descriptions of a qp relationship I’ve seen, and there were a lot of interesting comments made by the author and other people interviewing her about why sex was never a part of their dynamic and how the bond they had was more of soulmates than romantic lovers and why it was meaningful all the same. 

Still, even if the author doesn’t, Banana Fish is considered among the key “BL” animated series of the last few years, alongside stuff like Doukyuusei, Yuri On Ice, Given, etc. And fandom likes to “fix” that “lack of” situation often, apparently. 

This case isn’t as feral as GO but it is, however, deceptive. Coming into BF I never would have guessed their relationship was to be qp because fandom let me believe it wasn’t. 

And, in this case, the author explicitly stated that this was her intention, this was the story she wanted to tell, it wasn’t her adjusting to censorship or having to code her characters, it was, at heart, what we now can consider a qp relationship. 

And, in all of these cases, in which there are aroace characters or relationships involved, or at least somewhere in the aro spectrum or the ace spectrum or both, there’s one main issue behind it: the lack of belief that relationships that aren’t romantic and sexual can be crucial. 

That they can be storytelling worthy.  

In media-creating and in fanwork-creating, it seems to be the norm to have an endgame romance, or at least for romance to be a key part of your content. It’s the expected box to tick for a fulfilling story, it seems, and the lack of it is the “problem” fandom likes to “fix” the most. 

This is also mirrored in the platforms we use. There is a lack of possibility to tag qp relationships as something separated in ao3: the / is for romantic/sexual relationships and the & is for all-encompassing platonic relationships (described by the guidelines as family, teammates, friends, etc.). In order to write a qp relationship you have to tag it & as per guidelines but you have to add another descriptor because you’re not writing family or teammates, and in the case of fandom-polarizing ships, it can be a problem. 

And all of this influences us as creators, to the point that it’s easier to write something we’ve never experienced, like romantic attraction, than it is to write without it, because we’ve heard the romantic stories all the time, we’ve grown up reading them, and we’ve learned that no kudos will come to your fic if you don’t have them in there, because it’s that / what’s gonna move the search engines towards your stuff. 

Maybe, hopefully, with time and more media around us, we’ll learn different ways of exploring transformative fanwork. Maybe while knowing ourselves and others, we’ll start believing that a lack of romantic relationships doesn’t necessarily mean someone was “too much of a coward to not make these two explicitly x or y”. 

Maybe we’ll learn to coexist because, after all, some of these things coexist within our own spectrums sometimes, and it’d be nice to see the capacity for us to not fight for the scraps of rep that media throws at us but be able to understand each other and ourselves enough to create the media that we need. 

[poisonouswritings]

Can I make a somewhat obscure request? About some headcanon of what the main 4 are like with an mc who suffered sexual abuse in his work area (for example, a nurse) and because of this them does not want to be sexually intimate with his love interest?

I hope its not so shady and have a nice day/afternoon/night

I spent a little while debating if this was something I could bring myself to answer. I said in my rules that I would write about SA as part of a character's background, and I guess I should have been more specific in saying I didn't want to write it as the focus of a post. That's why I specifically said I would be fine with a 'mention' of it. But I've had some thoughts about it so hopefully I can do this one ask and then not touch the subject again for at least a while.

GN!Reader, I won't be going into any sort of detail but I'll still tag this with an SA trigger warning, this will be brief and vague for my own sake, I'm going to add the NSFW banner here just in case.

Felix Escellun

Felix is very understanding, though I think he's a little surprised. You never think it's gonna happen to someone you know, y'know?

When you tell him, he's quiet. He wants to give you the space to get everything off your chest, and he doesn't wanna risk rushing you. He asks a few questions here and there - did you ever report it? Did you go to therapy? Do you want to? - but mostly he lets you talk.

I think he's afraid to touch you for a while. Even if you tell him it's okay, he's just a little anxious about accidentally hurting you or scaring you or anything.

If you struggle with panic-attacks or anxiety episodes or PTSD nightmares or anything like that, he offers to make some soothing potions or maybe a charm or something. Maybe even an enchanted dream catcher or something? He'll talk to you about different options and preferences and that sort of thing. If you're embarrassed about it then he takes your hands (after asking if you're okay with it) and assures you there's absolutely no shame in needing help. He spent five years living alone with his grief over Rime's death, so he knows how much that sucks and how important it is to be vulnerable. I think you taught him that.

I don't think he ever really had sex when Rime was dead? I can't remember if it was mentioned in canon but I dunno, I just think he was too consumed by his own grief to be interested in that. So when you say you aren't comfortable having sex, he's genuinely fine with that. He just needs you to outline your boundaries when it comes to other types of touching (hugging, hand holding, etc etc).

Stella cuddles with you more often, but presumably that's just a coincidence?

Anisa Anka

Anisa, as a Sunstone lieutenant, has probably had one or two incidents where her subordinates reported something along those lines. So when you tell her about what happened, she kinda defaults to that official procedure - comforts you softly, gently asks questions but doesn't press for info, assures you it wasn't your fault, so on and so on.

I think it's very much in her nature to want to confront the problem and punish the abuser. That's why those subordinates felt comfortable with telling her - because they were damn sure she wouldn't just sweep it under the rug. Shifts would immediately be changed to ensure no contact, evidence would be gathered, and she would do her absolute best to get the abuser imprisoned. If that wasn't possible then at the very least they would be kicked from the Order and threatened advised to stay far, far away from the victim.

But how can she possibly confront the person who hurt you when they're in another dimension? I think that's really hard for her to deal with.

She was already careful about potentially making you uncomfortable and/or accidentally abusing her position as your guide of this world, so now she's extra cautious about it. Very encouraging about whatever boundaries you need to set. She's fine with not having sex - toys exist after all - and I think she values emotional closeness over sexual intimacy anyways.

Very protective over you. Never lets you out of her sight when you guys are in public.

Sage Lesath

Alright let me get this out of the way; you can call it projecting or you can call it a natural morbidity, but I HC that Sage has dealt with this in the past.

Remember in the intro where Sage said he 'doesnt roll out of bed for anything less than ten silver' and one of the bar guys said he'd heard Sage would 'warm any bed for half of that'? I think there's truth to that. Especially when he had to take care of Tulsi and desperately needed the money.

I also think that you combine him getting sloppy - if not blackout - drunk with a reputation for being a slut with his favored drinking spots being full of criminals...

All I'm saying is that when you tell Sage about whatever happened to you, he's painfully understanding.

I think he's struggled with feelings of being weak. He's a strong man, a mercenary at that, and being victimized just,, fucks with him. So if you have feelings like that too, he does his best to reassure you.

You're uncomfortable with sex, that's genuinely fine. Just tell him what your limits are. Is flirting okay? Kissing? Cuddling? Do you want a safeword? He'll do everything he can to accommodate you. You just need to communicate your needs.

Probably doesn't bring you around the tavern anymore, or at least he lets you decide when you're okay going. He'll do everything he can to shield you from people being assholes, but it's a bar. Creeps are kinda inevitable.

I don't know what it would mean for your relationship. Sage is a very sexual guy, y'know? He would never ever pressure you into anything, but he might broach the topic of an open relationship. His first priority is you, though, so if it comes down to him relying on his hands and some toys all the time, then he's fine with that.

Rime Varela

This is another one of those times where I really wish we had a Rime route so I could make a better guess about how he'd react to a situation like this.

Something I've noticed in my replaying of Felix's route - aka the closest we got to a Redeemed route - Rime seems to struggle with empathy. And while we can certainly say that it's because there wasn't really a situation that warranted him showing it or because he was still so hurt over everything that happened that he emotionally shut himself off or whatever, I think it would be interesting if he just,, lost the ability to express empathy when he was stuck in the Void. Maybe it's something that gradually comes back over time?

That isn't to say that he doesn't care about what you're saying. Far from it. He just... doesn't really know how to comfort you. Not with something like this.

He's the least reactive about what happened, and maybe that's a good thing. Obviously he assures you it wasn't your fault and doesn't think any lesser of you for what you went through, but he doesn't have the same sort of heaviness that the other three get.

He really doesn't mind not having sex. Five years in real life was like,, I dunno, a thousand years in the Void or whatever. He wouldn't mind having sex, but he also really doesn't if it doesn't happen.

Though it's not obvious, Rime is keeping a close eye on you from then on. If he notices you're getting anxious or having nightmares or anything like that, then he offers to let you talk about it. And if you don't want to then he'll change the topics, usually ranting about something he's been researching or complaining about something stupid the other Starsworn did or whatever.

[buddielove]

Hi! I'm a gay fan of 911 and I have a question about the whole Buddie fandom. As much as I like Buck and Eddie, it's frustrating that a HUGE part of the fandom is pushing for these two characters to get together instead of putting energy into supporting Hen & Carla and Michael & Dave. Not to mention Carlos and TK in Lone Star. Can you explain to me the appeal of wanting these two men together? Wouldn't it be more interesting to see two heterosexual males just be able to bond in a non-toxic fashion? That's something we don't get to see often on television.

Hey! This is MAD long lmao I am so sorry! You caught me on a day I felt like talking! Also this took like a year to answer you lolololol. This does have a few ʻhot takesʻ so please be warned! So like in this essay....

So first I am also apart of the LGBTQIA+ community, so I do understand how it could come across as a fetish or being non supportive of the current canonically LGBTQIA+ characters, however I think a lot of the interest around Buddie and the want for them to be confirmed as a couple is how they are being written. Me personally I knew since s2 e1 Buck and Eddie were written not as rivals but as two people who would eventually become friends, but it wasn’t until the Christmas episode with the elf assuming Buck was Chris’s dad and Eddie’s partner that I was like ‘hold on!’ because I was really hoping Abbey would return and I didn’t see Eddie as a possible Buck live interest because of that. The elf’s comment wasn’t played off like most other shows would (think Dean and Sam arriving anywhere in Supernatural) it made me go back and look at the other episodes to see exactly how Buck and Eddie were being framed/written. And as we have moved into further seasons I think there has been a shift in how Buddie is being written, in s3 it was very much like two people progressing into a deeper friendship then the blood clot/lawsuit gets in the way and they both have to deal with emotions surrounding that, then Buck’s response to Eddie being trapped (we see how is he when Boddy is trapped in a fire WITH A GUNMAN, it’s emotional but not to the point is is with Eddie), even the love interests feel very pushed on us and there’s so little banter between Buddie about their gfs and how they feel about these new beginnings. It feels off, not like a friendship in the slightest, more like two people trying to force something and not wanting to deal with any other feelings. Then when Eddie gets shot and reveals Buck is Chris’s legal Guardian in the event Eddie dies, that’s huge, and he did this after only a year of knowing Buck (I have friends with kids. I’ve known one of them for FIVE years, I’m at their house every week, the kid calls me family. I’m person #10 on the list of ‘who gets my kid if I die’, not #1 lol) It just feels like it’s all building up to something, and people are getting tired of waiting for that something! We’re all emotionally tired from the past two years, and probably from many shows queerbaiting us and this is something that could happen, seems to be something the actors are ok with and the fans want. So why do they keep drawing it out. This isn’t about us demanding they ignore the chance to write a healthy platonic male friendship, or forcing two characters to be gay, it’s about holding the writers to what they’ve implied and seeing what could come of it.

Also think of it like this; If Buddie is confirmed it will still be a good example of a healthy friendship which then developed into something else, like Booth/Bones! Showing the natural progression of friendship to relationship that happens a lot in real life. It’s two men who previously (on screen at least) have only been with woman, but now they have an emotionally connection with someone which they then develop and explore. This could be 911’s first nontoxic depiction of two gay characters coming together, because sorry not sorry the canon couples aren’t perfect (which does humanize them) but they also reenforce harmful troupes that plaque the LGBTQIA+ community, which I’m sure you understand: TK was a drug addict, who only got with Carlos at first cause he was hot and sex was TK’s new addition (all gay men are sex addicts who do drugs and sleep with anything that moves). Carlos was ashamed and wanted to keep TK on the downlow (poc gay men want to pretend to be straight but have free access to gay sex). Hen cheated on Karen seemingly the first chance she got (lesbians can’t handle monogamy when pushed, and cheat on their long term partners). All known and documented troupes that happen far too often.

I’m not saying Buddie is some gay jesus ship that’s gonna save the entertainment industry but if done right it could prove to be one of the few healthy depictions of two men getting into a gay relationship we have. If they plan it out correctly, show us the relationship development, like they did with Maddie/Chim for example, Buddie could be used as a positive example of a gay fictional relationship (I really could go into depth about this. I probably should tbh).

As for not supporting Hen and KAREN, or Michael and DAVID, I think fans do support them! The writers don’t. If you read fanfics Henren and Michael/David are featured heavily in many fics, and ik some people might say ‘well they’re only there so Buddie can talk about their gay side!!’ but both these couples have their own fans and fanfic tags! They aren’t just plot devices in Buddie stories. There is a huge side of the fandom that supports Henren and wants to see more of them and their family. Same with Michael and David, during the episode where Michael and Bobby team up to find that plastic surgeon who was working illegally many people where ecstatic that we were getting more Michael/David content and that David was getting more than a couple lines. But sadly it seems like the writers only want to delve into these story lines when they need filler, they even miss opportunities to include these other LGBTQIA+ characters when it makes sense;

(Someone came for me about this but I am going to bring it up again)

When Chris is sad and wants more human connection, instead of bring Harry + Michael/David and Denny+Nia+Henren back into the picture (and yes I understood at the time the pandemic was bad (lmao still is!!), but all the actors at some point would have/had crossed over into each other’s ‘bubbles’, so ALL the actors would have been exposed to each other so getting the children together with adults they had ALREADY been with during shooting wouldn’t have been a super spreader event) but instead they brought in Ana after only two on screen dates and pretended like it was a logical thing for someone who’s up to that point been extremely careful with their child.

They really could have pushed the ‘118 is a family!’ message here and included the canonically gay supporting characters, and the lesbian main character(s) but they did not and instead chose to push the Ana/Eddie coupling even though they hadn’t properly developed it yet. The writers themselves don’t seem to care about developing their canonically gay characters and including them more than they have to but fans are continuously developing Henren and Michael/David with hc and fics.

I’d like to use your logic against you for a second, in s1 we have a very healthy, platonic friendship between Chim/Bobby but that got written out to the point they are more like boss/employee unless the scene calls for them to seem closer, we now have Bobby and Michael friendship but again we hardly see Michael. On Lone Star we have Owen and Judd as a really, really good example of a healthy male friendship but we see Judd more often with Tommy now then we do with Owen, and in s2 it’s overshadowed by Owen trusting Charlie from Twilight and constantly getting fucked over! Why can’t the writter just be happy with these happy, healthy, emotionally well male-male friendship they’ve already included and expand upon them. There’s enough drama because the show literally involves burning buildings and people’s lives being at risk from some natural/man made disaster ever 12 seconds. Does it need to have so much interpersonal conflict and male peacocking??

[danwhobrowses]

20 AEW Dark and Elevation Regulars that AEW should sign

Now I know, AEW has a very stacked roster, in fact I've considered writing an essay on the risk of AEW's growing roster being top-heavy

I mean we've barely scraped the potential of Brian Cage, Scorpio Sky, Wardlow, Sammy Guevara, TH2, Sonny Kiss, Matt Sydal, Proud and Powerful, Nick Comoroto, Will Hobbs, Serena Deeb (who I know is injured atm), and many more. But with Rampage oncoming maybe there is room for them.

But, we'll stick a pin in that for now, because tonight is AEW's 100th Episode of Dark. A big deal still considering it's one of AEW's 2 weekly youtube wrestling shows, and one of AEW's many Youtube weekly shows if you include vlogs such as BTE, SammysVlogs, Ethan Page's vlog and the AEW-promotional Countdown to and Outside the Ring with Lexy Nair segments and the Unrestricted Podcast. In the pandemic era, Dark became a home to several indie talents in need for work, some got signed but not all, so I'm gonna list 10 men's and 10 women's wrestlers who were regulars on Dark and Elevation who AEW can and should still sign

Note: I will not be including wrestlers who look set for regularity, so Wheeler Yuta, Jora Johl, Fuego and the Wingmen won't be on the list, as will any AEW Women's tournament entrants (Maki Itoh, Madi Wrenkowski, Nicole Savoy etc.). Danny Limelight and Konosuke Takeshita are also signed to MLW and DDT Pro just fyi

10 Men AEW should sign

The men's division is already stacked, and it has a lot of up and comers too, but there are still a few areas where AEW's Dark stalwarts have proven they can fill a void for.

Honorable mentions for: JDX, El Australiano, M'Badu, Jake St. Patrick, Brick Aldridge, Megabyte Ronnie, Suge 'Pineapple Pete' D and Vary Morales. Also Kidd Bandit, but he hasn't wrestled on Dark or Elevation so I couldn't add him in.

10. Marty Casaus Better known as Marty 'the Moth' Martinez from Lucha Underground, Marty trained with AEW after some time out with injury and made some appearances on Dark. As the Moth, Marty demonstrated his character work as a gross heel, but his size was also an asset to his disturbed and near-psychotic persona.

9. Dean Alexander An alumnus of the Nightmare Factory, Alexander has frequented on Dark and Elevation usually in tag action where he hasn't been able to get his dickhead persona across. He is your traditional cocky heel which in the Nightmare Factory showcases has led to his hilarious downfalls, even losing to Negative One in his multiple failures to win in the Main Event of these showcases. Frankly, this is what Baron Corbin should be like if you're gonna mock him, he's also very impressive in the ring.

8. Dillon McQueen Another Nightmare Factory alum, Dillon McQueen has also only been used for jobbing, but his character is actually great. The King of Queens, Dillon brims charisma that would be a winner for crowds, but he has a babyface fire to him as well, easily could be a rising talent with the right training.

7. Dan Barry To be honest, I like his Hawaiian Shirts. He has a lot of experience in the indies and can work in a similar way Colt Cabana works balancing serious and comedy wrestling, would just be pretty cool to see him more.

6. & 5. TNT (Terrence and Terrell Hughes) Sons of D-Von Dudley, TNT have had less appearances on AEW as of recent, which is a shame, because they can definitely be developed as some of the next gen tag teams the Acclaimed and Blonds have been. AEW haven't shied from legacy wrestlers in the past, and the duo definitely have potential.

4. Chandler Hopkins Chandler Hopkins has shown up to be squashed by the big men a lot, but somehow he also manages to eke out some strong entertainment and fluid wrestling in it. His match against Brian Cage is an effective example of this. Like Fuego, Chandler is definitely someone you can use on the undercard for some enhancement, maybe even push up once more character comes across.

3. Ryzin Ryzin has stuck with AEW for quite a while now, even having skits on BTE. The Unholy Father however never got a W on AEW, which is a shame because he has character and promo skills in hand. He could easily be a fit for Chaos Project as well or teamed with Abandon in a James Mitchell kinda role.

2. Carlie Bravo One of the first class alums of the Nightmare Factory, Carlie Bravo remains charismatic and athletic in his showings, he even had a great little pairing with Shawn Dean until Dean's signing, I'd love to see them bring that back - two Navy veterans tearing up the tag scene would be pretty awesome.

1. Baron Black Few have stayed the course during the pandemic era like Baron Black. Debuting in April and still yet to get his first win, he was one of the three touted stars by Cody on Sammy's vlog who he encouraged to be booked around the world because of his workrate and skill. If anyone has earned it that isn't named Fuego del Sol (or that other name Cody mentioned), it's Baron Black.

10 Women AEW should sign In contrast to the men's division, AEW's women's roster does look like it could use some buffing, for midcard and even building more stars.

Honorable mentions are plenty in this one, so just missing out are the following: Ashley D'Amboise, Leila Grey, Renee Michelle, Jazmin Allure, Savannah Evans, Willow Nightingale, the Renegade Twins, Holidead, Kenzie Paige, Jennacide and Brooke Havok (who I would guess will be signed once her leg recovers).

10. Ashley Vox With or without her Sea Stars tag partner, Delmi Exo, Ashley Vox has proven herself a frequent flier for AEW. Talented in singles and tag competition. She also has a strong rapport with many of AEW's current roster.

9. Alex Gracia The Pink Dream has been on ROH as of recent but remains a freelancer, her last appearance being a squash from Dr. Britt Baker DMD. AEW must've been high on Gracia at one point because they gave her a title shot on Dynamite. With experience in Shimmer and Stardom, Gracia would definitely be a worthy addition.

8. Tesha Price Another woman who AEW put on Dynamite rare times, Tesha proved herself to play face and heel during her time on Dark and Elevation. As a heel she showed a lot of fire especially against KiLynn King and Ryo Mizunami, the Psycho Sweetheart definitely has something she can give to the division - who are tbf lacking in heels right now.

7. Vertvixen I am not sure what it is about Vertvixen specifically, but whenever I see her I think she has the look, not to mention the athleticism to boot. Her triple threat on MPW against Jennacide and Jazmin Allure was a definite highlight as of recent.

6. Miranda Alize A former Mae Young Classic competitor, like Jennacide and Gracia she's recently been used by ROH, but she is definitely a confident wrestler and does not shy from the intergender matches either, having fought Laredo Kid and Danny Limelight. She's worked with many impressive wrestlers too, including an Impact Knockouts Title match against Jordynne Grace and matches against Deonna, Taya and Tessa.

5. Reka Tehaka The Samoan Savage may've debuted on AEW's first ever house show, but regular Dark and Elevation appearances have been met with positive reactions. Being partly trained by the Nightmare Factory, Tehaka has done well to establish herself despite only wrestling for a year and a half, she could definitely be a prospect.

4. Veda Scott Okay, so I cheated a little by saying no competitors, but I could not leave out Veda on this list. She has in-ring talent and intergender experience - tagging with her Speedball husband - but on AEW Dark and the Deadly Draw she proved herself excellent on commentary. A female voice in the booth even for just the women's matches would go a long way for the division and Veda's the perfect voice for it.

3. Dani Jordyn The Mean Girl is definitely someone you can call a regular on Dark and Elevation. She works hard and works with a lot of main roster talent, and I don't think I've seen her put on a bad match. So it would be nice to reward her with a contract.

2. Diamante It still baffles me actually that Diamante has yet to become All Elite. Deadly Draw winner and involved in a lot of the Elevation/Dark women's feuds, Diamante has a wealth of knowledge and experience under her belt. She's still popular with fans and can easily step back into her LAX days by pairing with the Inner Circle. Few unsigned talent have won as much as her too, I would say it's when rather than if, but when is taking a long ass time.

1. KiLynn King The three names Cody praised highly were Fuego, Baron Black and KiLynn King, so I think above all else they should be given contracts. In fact, I was surprised King wasn't on the Dark 100 card, by virtue that although King has shown up on Dynamite a few times, she has been on Dark and Elevation 41 times since debuting in May 2020, it was a shock that someone so regular wasn't on the card. King showed she could work as the bully heel but also as a charismatic babyface, even having a little faction brewing with Swole and Red Velvet as RSK, but when crowds came back we seemed to drop the potential of AEW's first all-women faction. King is over with fans...so long as you don't put her against someone as over as Thunder Rosa, and she has put on some lowkey bangers during her time on AEW, especially the one against Riho. Tall and powerful, but fun in the ring and outside the ring with clips of her in the crowd chanting and even vibing to Angelico's music. King would definitely be on the top of my list of AEW Dark regulars that deserve a contract.

I'm sure I might've missed some and opinions may differ, but I think these lot would definitely be able to fit into AEW effortlessly thanks to their time on Dark and Elevation. Many of whom could be used to build or become future champions themselves, and I hope still to see more of them beyond Dark 100.

[evilwickedme]

I know we're not supposed to care about being good or bad jews, but can I ask? I'm scared to even mention I live in israel because last time I mentioned something I was harassed and accused of not caring about others. Just for stating what country I live in. I wanted to reblog a meme about Israel being filled with cats, and I relate to that because cats are everywhere, but I was scared to be harassed again. I blocked all the tags but I still see this everywhere. Do you have like, any advice?

Right so I guess this answer is gonna be complicated and simple at the same time? cause I’m obviously very open about living in Israel but like, relatively to how long I’ve been on the website - cause I joined tumblr in 2010, which is a full decade ago - I spent most of my time on here not being open about it and not talking about. Like if you paid attention you might notice that I was mutuals with a lot of Israelis who are people I know in real life (@thelordofthecats is one of my best friends, for example, and he has being Israeli in his bio) but my blog was tiny and nobody was really paying attention. I think I had managed to gain 400 followers or so by 2017, which is when I really exploded by joining jumblr and I had several relatively viral posts getting hundreds if not thousands of notes per day for a while there. And the thing is I wasn’t outspoken about being Israeli because I had a friend in high school who had several thousand followers and was actively harassed for months at a time for being Israeli and I just didn’t want to bring that attention to me. I often just plain delete controversial statements and honestly I’m not that shy about it because if I don’t agree with something I said why should I keep it up and have people come at me with “receipts” over something I don’t agree with or even just generally leads to people having so called ammo against me? So for a long time I was avoiding conflict altogether. But once I stopped avoiding conflict and became very, very outspoken about antisemitism - basically in response to CDM and the Jewish pride flag issue, and that feels like ages ago, but that was what brought me into the jumblr sphere for good - there was no real reason to hide the fact that I’m Israeli because I was already inviting trouble as is and I might as well be clear about my position as someone who lives where I live and how that obviously influences my opinions.

And okay this is clearly a bit of a wall of text but my point is that I didn’t so much choose to divulge that I was Israeli as much as there was no longer any point to hide it. If I was going to get messages telling me to burn in an oven anyway there was no real difference if it came because my parents decided to have me here and not in the States or because I dare to be Jewish, period. And a lot of that has calmed down recently - I’m not nearly as active as I was in 2017-2018, not just in jumblr but in general, as a combination of me really getting into fandoms such as TMA that go on my sideblog @queerastronauts rather than this one and of university really kicking my ass and working basically whenever not studying, so I’m not really getting any attention except for once in a while having someone reblog an old post of mine and it getting a dozen notes or so before dying off, whether in a positive or negative light (mostly positive light, thank God). But I can’t, like, go back in the closet about being Israeli - people know now, there are 2,145 of you who follow me and most of you followed me during my intense jumblr phase - so I’m sort of stuck with it now.

So, uh, I guess it’s just weighing your risks. Say what you will about tumblr, I do think that the culture has shifted over the last couple of years towards unfollowing or blocking people we don’t like instead of getting into pointless arguments with them. Or at least, that’s what I see in my personal sphere. If I see someone posting antizionist or exclusionist or whatever content I don’t agree with I just unfollow them and then I’m done with it. And if you’re a big blog, you have to weigh the risks. Big blogs tend to get hate no matter what - someone once reblogged a post of mine and called me out for being a Taylor Swift fan, of all things, and like, if that’s the worst you got against me, I’m not really bothered. So you have to decide whether or not you’re willing to also get hate for this. And it’s a pro-con situation but the truth is you don’t want the virulent antisemitic antizionists following you anyway (I’m not saying all antizionists are antisemitic, chill, I’m talking about a specific yet undeniably common type of antizionists).

Also, if you reblog that meme about the cats in Israel I posted which is honestly objectively hilarious, that’s not the same as coming out as Israeli anyway, because it’s enough for you to know someone in Israel or have visited Israel to know that’s true.

Also, if someone is being a dick towards you, point them towards me, and I will F I T E T H E M

[kae-karo]

Since you mentioned being in the mood for asks: I think I like my best friend. She knows I'm not straight. But has never actually said she's not straight but has discussed possibility of her sexuality being fluid? She doesn't open up to anyone. And so it's really hard to understand her feelings and I am always afraid of crossing the line by asking her too many questions? So I just avoid asking a question twice. I know our friendship will be ruined if I let her know about my feelings ( 1/2 )

But idk what to do with all these pent up feelings :( she gets close to me but then seems to be very distant after a while. Back and forth. Idk what to do. Especially with all this time in my hand during quarantine all I do is overthink about everything in my life including her. Oh no I'm ranting. Sorry have a great day !!! Love you Katie !!! 🖤🖤🖤 :) ( 2/2 )

hello dear!! 💜💜💜 okay first and foremost never never feel like you have to apologize for sending long/multi-part asks/rambling/etc i adore getting asks and it is never something you should feel bad about!!

now, onto advice here...there are a lot of different options ofc for what you could do, and i won’t say that there’s one right answer or one thing that’s better than another. i am and always will be an advocate for communication and honesty in relationships/friendships/etc, but i think the first thing that needs to happen is you need to decide what route you want to go

the kind of key directions would ofc be to 1. explain your feelings and see if she feels the same 2. decide that you do Not want your current friendship with her to change and that you would rather move on from being interested in her without mentioning that you have feelings or 3. keep on the same path you’re currently on and sort of just...wait it out

uhhh i will say that option 3 is usually...one to avoid, if you can. specifically bc this will probably leave you feeling Bad and that’d be something that’s uhhh not good lmao

so say you want to try telling her how you feel, naturally this comes with the risk (as you mentioned) that she might not feel the same/that you might ruin the friendship by saying something about it, but unfortunately...there’s not really much of a way around that risk. that said, and keeping in mind that idk her or how she tends to act/react to certain situations, there are probably ways to go about this that mitigate some of the risks

if i were in your shoes and decided i wanted to go this route, i might genuinely try to keep it as lowkey and casual as possible, and try to avoid making it some Big Thing™. i’d probs just say smth like ‘hey y’know i think i might have feelings for u beyond just friendship, i wanted to just let you know in case you felt the same, but if not, no worries! it doesn’t change that i still want to be friends with you, and i obviously am not gonna act any differently toward you if you don’t feel the same.’ like. i would try to make it clear that 1. i wouldn’t want anything to change if she didn’t feel the same and 2. that i have no expectations of her

especially since it sounds like she’s still figuring out who she might be into, i might also add something like ‘i totally understand you’re still figuring stuff out, i don’t want you to feel any added pressure, just wanted to be open and honest with you’ (sometimes being open can help others open up too!)

now, that said, it sounds like you might be erring more on the side of wanting to move on and get over your feelings for her - which is totally valid! or, ofc, if you tell her and she’s like ‘yeah man sorry i’m just not into you!’ then u would naturally want to move on without making things uncomfy. in that event, i have one very major recommendation: distractions

i get it! it’s hard with quarantine to keep your mind occupied with other things/people/etc, but unfortunately, moving on isn’t something that can just be done, it requires practice and patience and time

one thing you can try is choosing something you already enjoy and finding an aspect of that to dive deeper into. for example, fan of a show/book? go search for fanart or fanfic if you’re into that! come up with an oc just for fun in whatever universe that piece of media is in, even if u never show it to anyone. pick a few blogs you’ve seen who post a lot and check them out, maybe follow if they seem cool! write fic or draw art, whether it be of an oc or existing characters or even just scenes or something! especially try this out even if you’ve never done either of those things before - and don’t get discouraged if those things aren’t perfect, just give them a shot and you might find something you really enjoy! grab a character or ship you usually don’t give much attention to/haven’t seen before and go check out their tag!

along this route, i speak a lot about fandom/fictional media bc that is what i personally use as an escape, but the same goes for activism/politics/languages/animals/other subjects/literally anything that is of interest to you! there is almost always an unexplored aspect of something that you can dive into. but! in the event that you can’t or don’t find anything interesting...

another thing is to find something new! a show you’ve heard about but never watched (or a show you’ve literally never heard of before but like just keeps popping up on ur netflix page), a book you’ve been putting off reading, a youtuber that seems p cool, a skill or language or craft or really, literally anything you haven’t done, and trying it. invest a bit of time and energy and just see where it takes you, let yourself think about this new thing and follow your line of curiosity. some of the best (and worst/dumbest/most cursed) ideas i’ve ever had came from just. randomly following the line of curiosity in my head and seeing where it takes me. hell, that’s what led to me writing fic in the first place!

and be forgiving of yourself too, don’t associate thoughts about this person with any kind of ‘oh shit i’m not supposed to be thinking about her’ kind of reactions, just gently redirect your thoughts to that one episode you just watched, or the question you have about the universe it exists in, or what crocheting pattern you want to try out first, etc etc etc. again, this kind of thing takes time and patience and won’t happen overnight, but you absolutely can get there!

the last ‘distraction’ i tend to go for is revisiting old interests! that fic or book you read a long time ago but still have/still have bookmarked as a fave? pick it back up and give it a reread - the cool thing about stories is that, over time, our perspectives change, and the way we experience the story and the emotions we feel over it change as well. same goes for old shows, esp if it’s been a minute! you can even do this in tandem with the first distraction type and dig back into fandoms you haven’t seen in a while!

it can be hard to remember sometimes - esp while we’re in quarantine! - that worlds exist outside our current interests and spheres of influence. whatever you decide to do, dear, just remember that things will be okay in the end (even if they’re not okay at first) so long as you try to do what’s right for you and be thoughtful and caring along the way. i hope this helped at least a little!

[swiggity-swexual-i-am-asexual]

I'm beginning to think I might have celiac. Do you have any tips?

Well, first of all, go to your doctor with your concerns. Yes, even if it’s the USA, because celiac is a... kinda complex illness at times?? And will need a doctor’s verification, which you can only get while still on a gluten diet. You’ll get a blood test (and there’s also a panel thing you can do, because false negatives are a thing, but the names of all of them get me confused, so I suggest googling them for the names in case the doctor doesn’t know), and if it’s a positive test, they’ll want you to get an endoscopy (a super simple procedure where they put a tube with a camera down your throat to check your upper intenstine—it literally took me maybe a couple hours from check in to check out).

But like, most importantly??

Don’t freak out. If it’s celiacs, it’s gonna be fine. If it’s not, it’s still gonna be fine.

It may seem that you’re by yourself until you find more people with celiac, but there’s so many of us!! So even if you don’t interact much with the community, maybe follow the tags (if only to see everyone groaning and moaning about labeling... I am one of those people, haha).

But as for quick tips and tricks for the (potential) celiac

-first of all, until diagnosed, you have to stay on a gluten diet. So, I mean. Not to sound like a doomsday preper but if any time is the time to just eat every damn thing you’ve ever loved that has gluten in it, now is the time to eat it. (I personally gained like 5 pounds in two months I waited for the diagnosis tests to be done, I regret nothing. And if weight is a concern... well, first of all that’s about to get weird because celiac is weird, but I also _lost_ that weight quickly after.)

-Always know what gluten is. And don’t be afraid of that word. Just because everyone else doesn’t have to be concerned about a certain protein in wheat, barley, and rye (also watch out for oats, they are not your friend), doesn’t mean they get to be mean about it. This is literally your health—if there’s anytime you can snipe at someone, it’s regarding that.

-start looking at the things you already eat to see if they have gluten free (gf) labels. Gushers, for example-gluten free!!

-start saving for new cookwear. Yes, you’ll probably need new ones. Do NOT cross contaminate them, aka, use your new gf cooking supplies to make something with gluten. ESPECIALLY IF ITS WOODEN.

-people will forget, constantly. Be firm but polite until it’s ridiculous and it’s obvious they aren’t making an effort to learn. Then you may destroy them.

-also get a gf cook book.

-and check all the stores near you for different gf sections. I used to just do my groceries at a Walmart, now I also (and in fact usually/have mostly switched to) Kroger’s and Food Lion. If you have those stores, I suggest either. They’re usually (usually) good with labels.

-food is now even more expensive, but apparently if you track _your_ food costs versus _non gf foods_, you can get a tax break by claiming the extra cost is essentially your medicine. Don’t... quote me on that I know fuck all about taxes.

-most gf frozen pizzas suck. You’re gonna try them anyways but let me just go ahead and tell you. Freschetta is the best, I will fight someone on this, and Kroger brand is actually pretty good (add on garlic, oregano, parsley, and basil along with extra cheese for Even Better Pizza, to every pizza ever). Sadly, say goodbye to rising crust.

-you will have cravings for the most random things. Including foods you DONT LIKE. Because you can’t have them. But gradually your palette will expand for your new... selective diet.

-you will both hate gf fad people and love them. Mostly hate though.

-people ARE looking for a cure, but be patient, it may be a while. But it’s good to be hopeful—just be realistic about how it might not be up to how you want it.

-no, there is no pill you can take. Surprisingly, this will irritate the people around you more than it will you.

-if you can’t cook—yeah maybe learn. If you don’t make, say, mozzarella sticks using gf panko and rice flour, no one will. No, seriously. No one. (Unless you live in a gf haven, in which case—share your location I just waNNA KNOW-)

-you will be fine. In fact, you’ll feel better!!

-rice is your friend. Just go ahead and get a rice cooker.

-if it’s not labeled gf, you’re at your own risk.

-even if it is tbh because labeling laws are Awful.

-did I mention labeling annoyances because—

-people will call it a gluten allergy. It is not a gluten allergy. You will still need to list it under allergies in every paperwork thing you do for the rest of forever. Including the DOCTOR’S OFFICE.

-you may loose weight. You may gain weight. You might do both. So long as it’s not a severe or dramatic drop/gain, do not be too alarmed

-you will find random things about your body that you didn’t know was off due to celiac that will suddenly present itself. For example, my _feet shrunk half a size_ because of water retention.

-your search history will be weird.

-vitamins. If nothing else, vitamin b12 just TRUST ME ON THIS.

-find restaurants near you with gf things. Ask hard questions. Don’t be afraid to err on the side of caution and not eat there.

-some celiacs report having a higher sense of smell. This is... a thing.

-you will, at some point, go through the bread aisle and feel kinda disgusted, maybe nauseous. Surprise, airborne flour.

-love how your body is getting better and healing, even when it’s... really weird about it.

-pack your own food. Constantly.

-gf soy sauce. It is also your new friend.

-no but seriously, rice rice RICE. I didn’t even like rice until a year before diagnosis but liKE.

-everyone will have questions every time you tell someone. You do not have to be their personal search engine on this illness. We have smartphones. We have public libraries with computer internet access. You are not responsible for the education of someone else regarding your body.

-... people will ask what DO you eat. You can be honest, or you can just say you eat nosey people. People forget that that’s not... a normal question, for the most part, and that it’s actually not their business. (That said, people will ask kindly sometimes!! Or they’re trying to make sure they don’t gluten you by accident—and yes, gluten as a verb, this is more of an experience than something explainable. So don’t be mean just to be mean—but you also don’t HAVE to deal with Quincy Question getting up in your business.)

-people will say they could NEVER do it. They would. I did. You mighty have to. _They Would._ it sounds like a compliment at first. It quickly stops being one.

Essentially.... there’s a million and one inconveniences, I’m not gonna lie. But do NOT go back on yourself, no matter what food you miss, it is not worth it.

Most importantly though—breathe. Celiacs sucks but I’m honestly glad to found out. I mean I’d drop it in a heartbeat if there was like, a cure or a medication, but I was very sick—didn’t even know how much until later—it’s much better that I know. And if it is celiac, you’ll begin to feel better soon.

Also im not kidding, go join some gf and celiac tags and communities. It makes all the little annoyances better.

And celebrate the little things!! Gf cake is a THING THAT EXISTS.