#i'm not even asking don't make me work 60 hours a week like the amount of mail is intense i get it

[gideonisms]

I'm so annoyed that despite my best efforts and years of trying hard to mature as a person I still will get into these situations where I am like hanging on by a thread and I am not so much concerned for MYSELF because I know how to recover from that but I am more worried that I won't be able to contain my frustration and will say something to someone else that I regret. Because STILL sometimes I will think I'm coping until I'm suddenly hugely angry with like half a second of warning

[kiefbowl]

i made a string of really dumb financial decisions and now im in debt that might take me years to pay off, do you have any words of wisdom for me queen. like that feels bad. how do i even save up. imagine flushing a pile of money down the toilet thats what this debt it

I know how that feels, believe me. A lot of people do. I'm feeling the pain of my 9 month school loans, and credit cards I had already paid off back "on" again (one in particular is pretty high...whooooops).

Don't lose your cool, I have a couple of flexible suggestions that you take, use, and modify to your specifics:

Tithe yourself - if your job does direct deposit (which most do!), you can direct deposit your money into multiple accounts. Get it set up so your paycheck goes 90% into your checking account, 10% into your savings account so that you're not even thinking about it. You might feel the squeeze for a little bit but you'll acclimate to that "missing" 10% sooner than you think.

Ask for a raise - if you're working, ask for a raise. If you're new, or maybe not that "great", or they're penny-pinchers, or you're just nervous to ask, don't even worry about it. Ask for 3% - this is low, and most jobs will give it to you just for the convenience of getting you to stop bothering them about it (if they can't afford 3%, run run run). For context, if you make $10 an hour, a 3% raise only gives you $12.00 more each week. It's really not much, but not nothing! If you're NOT worried about asking a raise, go all in! Ask for 10%, maybe even 15%. Flex some negotiation skills. Maybe you'll walkaway with 7%, but every penny counts.

Get yourself on auto payments [at the smallest amounts you can] - if you've got credit cards, log in right now and get yourself on auto payments for the smallest amount. If you've got student loans, do the same thing. If you've got utility bills, get them on auto pay. These things take 3 minutes to set up, and there are phone numbers to call if you can't figure it out. These companies WANT you to do this, they will help you get it done.

Work off the smallest amount you owe first [aggressively] - Let's say you have a $60 parking ticket, a credit card you owe $400 on, and three student loans that are currently at $6,000 & $7,000 & $10,000. Forget the student loans right now, you've got them on autopay for the smallest amount you can get away with. First, pay off that $60 parking ticket with your next pay check before it becomes a $200 ticket and a court appearance. Now you can focus on the paying off the $400 aggressively. Your minimum payments will still go off, but every time you get a paycheck, long on and pay an additional amount to the credit card (something you can manage and will also feel good to your brain - $50 feels good when you're thinking of your debit in hundreds for example). Once you've got that paid off, now you can aggressively pay off your $6,000. Don't worry about the other two. Just focus on the smallest amount you owe. Each paycheck, payoff a chunk of your smallest debt. It'll get exciting after awhile, like yes I get paid I can make that credit card even smaller. Gamify it, whatever.

Stop worrying about how long it will all take - Only worry about the smallest amount of debt you owe and how (reasonably) fast you can get that paid off. That $400 credit card, if you can spare $100 each pay check - that's only 4 paychecks. That's not too long, right? That's the way to think of time and debt: how much can you spare each paycheck to pay off your lowest debt.

Ask for help - do not punish yourself by lying to your parents and friends. Tell your friends you can't do fancy dinners because you are paying off debt and can't afford it. Real friends will bring over a pizza to hang with you. Your parents might be willing to send you a check without you asking for it. Don't feel guilty about monetary gifts, just take it. Go to a bank and talk about their consolidation options. Bring a third party so you aren't dazzled by sales pitches. Consolidation loans aren't objectively good or bad, they can be a life saver if they have the right terms that work for you. Don't think it's over your head! Ask as many questions until you understand all your options.

Buy smart, stop suffering - this really should be like 4 different bullet points, but I'm going to be as concise as possible: you'll never get out of debt if you spend your money without purpose, and you'll never get out under the yoke of anxiety that you fucked up if you just squirrel your money away in fear. A lot of people will give you advice that you need to put yourself on a tight, punishing budget. Maybe, but I think those are doomed to fail for most people. And now you feel twice as bad. Don't do that to yourself. Learning the value of $10 is important. So it learning the value of $100, or $1,000. And the best way to learn is to practice buying and using your money - there's a cheap $1,000 and an expensive $10, and you have to learn how much value you are getting out of these amounts for these purchases. If you punish yourself all week, and then allow yourself a "little treat" on Sunday - that doesn't feel worthwhile to me. Those little treats will grow every day. Soon you're stopping at Starbucks every day for "just $10" and your Sunday treat has become a weekly blow out brunch with friends and then week to week you're scrounging to eat Top Ramen and lamenting your dreams are dying. Instead, save money by spending money on things worthwhile that make you budget for them. Go sign up for those yoga classes you want, go sign up for those guitar lessons you want, go sign up for those art lessons you want, whatever it is. Whatever brings value to your life. Your $70 a week yoga membership can now be valued against your $70 week at Starbucks, and as your pockets pinch one hopes you'll choose the yoga over the Starbucks because one hopes that the yoga is serving you better. Or maybe yoga is ass and you want to spend it on Starbucks, at least now you know. Though I recommend your local coffee shop, as Starbucks is a union busting piece of shit corporation :)

[obsidianbaby]

Don't Love Me Like A Brother - Prologue

Brothers Best Friend Series - PROLOGUE

CHAPTER 1 -

series synopsis - ronnie's younger brother, tyler, is a famous youtuber & influencer and is best friends with the sturniolos. This series will be following ronnie's life as she befriends the triplets and catches herself developing feelings for a certain someone...

**series will contain smut as it develops but warnings will be added to those specific chapters

**found myself writing a few flashback chapters before present day just to build up the established friendships bc I'm impatient and don't want the slow burn to drain anyone 😭

warnings/notes - no smut in this as it's just the prologue to introduce y'all to the story.

a/n - starting this series and im very exciteddddddd i hope y'all fuck with a slow burn, friends to lovers best friends brother type beat. Buckle up mfs it's gonna be an angsty ride

a/n pt 2 - im not gonna share who ronnie develops feelings for just yet I want y'all to be on edge okok enjoy MWAH xx

__________________________________

PROLOGUE

ronnies pov

having a brother who's famous on social media is humbling to say the least.

The amount of fan girls who have followed my accounts just because they're obsessed with him makes me question many people's sanity (including my own).

But tyler is one of my best friends. And thank god for my dad, who from the jump, did not tolerate any misogynistic bullshit from my brother.

Raising two kids as a single dad after my mom passed away (before ty and I were older than the age of 5) was tough for him and he embraced the times when he needed support (like when i first got my period, bless his heart he bought almost every type of menstrual product off the shelf).

His values were the perfect structure for us to grow up following; respect, open communication, giving our best efforts to everything (even if the only effort we could offer up was a 60% instead of a 100%)

My childhood friends would always whine about how "chill" my dad was. And it's not cause he didn't care, (he probably cares too much) but he didn't want to shield us either, knowing we need to learn how to exist in the world without him constantly up our asses.

"As long as we can talk about shit at the end of the day then we're good" one of his favorite mantras he would spew to me and ty when we would get caught doing something you might call a "right of passage" as a teenager.

And since it was just the three of us, we've always leaned on each other a lot. Sunday family dinners at nans' every week, taking turns helping my dad at his shop after school (he's a car mechanic), movie nights every thursday night where my dad would close up shop early, setting up the projector in the shop garage and ordering us pizza. My brother has been a best friend to me since I held him in my arms at the age of 3 when he was born.

And of course, we have the usual chaotic fights to the death like most siblings do, him pranking me in the most annoying ways, me making fun of his dumbass, him eating all of my food, me stealing his cool clothes, him begging me to uber him around everywhere, etc.

But we also just really enjoy each other's company too; going on late night walks around town, sitting in bed staying up talking all night, playing mario cart for hours (id always kick his ass), going adventuring together to forests or beaches, hanging out at the skate park together (me laughing at him eating shit and him chasing me around trying to whack me with his board), us both ditching our friends to stay at home and yap to each other instead, us having campfires in the backyard with both of our friend groups together, working on restoring mom's 1967 ford mustang together that she left us when she passed.

So when he came to me a few years back, during the pandemic, asking my thoughts on him posting on youtube, I was in full support (after teasing him that no one would find him, an 18 year old lanky white boy about to graduate high school funny or interesting. I have to keep him humble ya know?)

But his first few videos on youtube went viral and his following kept growing daily, especially when he started posting on tiktok too.

He's had me (and even my dad) featured in his videos which i don't mind at all (since im the one that's editing them)

I can see why the internet loves him (i did help raise him of course).

But since he's hit over 3 million on youtube last year, he's been doing a shit ton of collabs with other influencers and youtubers; the sturniolo triplets, larray, emma chamberlain, jake webster, tarayummy, vinnie hacker, carrington, etc.

And these days I try to stay behind the scenes as much as possible, trying to enjoy my solitude away from the opinions of crazy fans. (why do they care so much about what im doing anyways?)

Yet he understands (thank god) and he's always inviting me to come hangout with the friends he's made through social media, and i can't lie and say i don't enjoy being in the company of such dope (and attractive) people.

END OF PROLOGUE

______________________________________________

a/n - hellooooo i have a few more parts already written for this but im gonna wait to see how this post goes first (because i have a dire need for validation and praise) anywaysssss thank you for reading mwah xx

[finniestoncrane]

Hey finnie!! Congrats on 1k!!! You deserve it!!!!

I wanted to see if you'd do no 9 for me cause I'm so curious as to who you'd pick. You know me p well by this point but I'll still tell you about myself as if ya didn't >:]

So hey, I'm a mexican-american living in socal, I work full time as a post production assistant transferring every old from of audio and video you can think of to digital and im very passionate about media conservation. I have immigrant parents so the connection to my culture isent that far off- but I grew up in Southern California and it shows. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia when I was a teen but later was rediagnosed with DID, I also have depression and believe I am on the spectrum. I love to draw and watch film when i have the time but mostly i just listen to audiobooks because i can do that at work. I've always had to work a lot, whether it's night shifts at the warehouse, 50+ hour weeks or nightclub gigs after work I'm always doing *something*. The fact that I have to work so much bums me out a Lot and I want to explode the concept of capitalism but that doesnt stop me from taking an absurd amount of pride in being a hard worker, I get it from my dad. I don't sleep very much, people always find it strange but no matter what time I fall asleep I will wake up 4-5 hours later without alarms and still feel well-rested. Like I mentioned I read a LOT cause I do it on the job, my favorite books are true crime and horror (Grady Hendrix is my all time fave author) but I also get through a ton of history books- mainly medical and historys of conflict. I watch movies whenever I get the chance, I love horror!! It's comforting to me. Most of my favorite films are from the 70s. Oh I love getting tattoos and if I had the money for it id get one everyday, I love the feeling a lot. I listen to a lot of different kinds of music, 80s pop and goth, old punk, 60s and 70s rock, oldies, 90s grunge and reggae, 2000s emo, rap and indie, modern industrial goth, old country as well as mariachi, corridos, reggaeton and Mexican rock. Really genuinely love most kinds of music, but my fave is anything I can sing or dance to. Like I said I have DID which is a pretty big part of me but simultaneously so small, after therapy I was able to get to a place where my alters don't really front unless there's an agreement to do so and it's mostly for comfort and healing reasons now but I live most of my life with one or more riding passenger seat if that makes sense? There's always someone I can talk to or ask for advice. My ideal night out is a night dancing at some alternative club or maybe karaoke at a dinky little bar. I also love to go on drives and like going to the beach at night to lay on the sand hearing the water until I get too cold.

I think I included way more than you needed but I'd love to hear who you'd pick and why :> 🖤

🎀 No.9: Ever Fallen In Love With Someone 🎀

tell me a little bit about yourself and i'll give you a rogue pairing a/n: ok this was... this one was difficult because i struggled to decide between two rogues (a variant of Mad Hatter being the other option) but i hope the decision i made was the right one💚 1k milestone info! 🔞minors dni🔞 • kofi • tag: finnie1k

such a noble cause that you work for! and you picked a key word, because harley is deeply attracted in every sense of the word to passion. doesn't matter what it is, if you're truly passionate about it she'll follow suit

heritage and culture is so important to harley too, and her jewish heritage is often overlooked, so she understand the connection and trying to maintain it or even strengthen it. she'd be so keen to share in someone else's culture and maybe even share hers with them

harley is a trained psychologist. she's a doctor. she has a degree. so any mental health issues she's so keen to try and help, without crossing any boundaries of course. she just wants the best for the people she loves and it's in her nature to try and talk through problems and find ways to fix things or make them hurt less

i frequently headcanon harley as someone who loves drawing as a way of relaxing or as an outlet, and i think she would employ a lot of art psychotherapy tactics. most of all, sitting with you and doodling while you draw and chat about your day would make her so happy

she gets hard work. first of all, it's not easy to study to become a psycholgist. second of all, it's not easy to work in one of the more intense asylums. and third of all, wielding a hammer while looking sexy is a herculean task believe it or not. but hey, if you hate capitalism, why not join her in villainy! or better yet, leave the crime to her and you can stay at home doing nothing all day, let her spoil you!

you would get sleep with harley around. she wouldn't be above bonking you on the head to make sure you're well-rested. 4-5 hours isn't enough, she insists on it. by that point she's only just starting to feel like she's spent enough time stroking your arm and watching you snooze, she needs at least another 2 hours on top of that.

true crime and horror are such harley vibes. she seems like she would love a horror movie marathon. the gorier the better for her though, and with some amazing kill scenes! and let's be honest, some 70s horror films have amazing death scenes in them so she can get on board with that

harley has a fair few tattoos, but nothing would make her giddier with sheer excitement and love than getting a matching tattoo (or 17) with you!!

i think harley loves dancing. she's a gymnast, it's pretty close in terms of movement. she probably has immense skills, albeit untrained, in most dance styles. so any kind of music is something she can work with. and karaoke would 100% be up her street, a cheesy love ballad that you can duet on, or the classic "girls just wanna have fun", but screaming it at an insane volume while she laughs with you

it's maybe not the same thing, but harley has harleen riding sidecar with her at all times. it's not always a good thing for her, since they don't share many of the same opinions, but you'd be a good influence on her, and maybe she'd start taking advice from harleen more often

[rowingupstream]

I can do serious amounts of exercise if it is slow. A stroll. A saunter. Resting when my heart rate goes up even the tiniest bit - that usually makes me dizzy and nauseous and I start having trouble breathing (not...literally? It just gets so uncomfortable I start holding my breath or breathing shallowly). What I do is not what most people consider hiking, or even walking for exerciize. But I can climb 40 km up a mountain in a day, doing that. And yet I can't hike even a short hike with a group. I have to stick to my own pace.

Recently I've taken up biking. I'm hesitant - if I fall and break something, it won't heal right. They never do. But it's so much healthier and cheaper - I can't walk fast enough to commute or go shopping without a car, but I think I actually could switch from a car to a bike? Perhaps an ebike? It's so pleasant to bike. Today I did 12km- just lovely, utterly lovely. But I read that on hills you should switch to a low gear with almost no resistance and pedal fast to maintain speed, so the one hill I hit I tried that - I almost threw up. I was too dizzy to walk. It was a half mile to a convenience store where I could buy a sports drink and getting there took over an hour, even though it was downhill and I let the bike carry me most of the way. I downed 60-odd ounces of electrolyte filled liquid and then suddenly felt perfectly fine. Dehydration or a new symptom? I've been wondering if the dizziness vertigo if heart rate rises stuff might be me developing POTS.

The problem is that I get so little warning that I'm approaching a physical limit. I'm fine and then boom I am incapable of even walking or thinking or talking. Everything hurts. But actually I can't tell if there is no warning that it is coming, or if I just trained myself to ignore it. I think some of it is that, as a person with chronic pain, I've taught myself to ignore it. To just barrel by it. Stuff has to be done! Laying in bed doesn't help and often makes it worse! (Sometimes it hurts so much, or my muscles feel so weak, or I feel like I can't think or process so badly that I give up on getting out of bed for a day or two - there is a reason I keep several liters of water and snacks next to the bed - but usually I just tell myself to pain is a lie and do whatever.)

It seems so impossible to explain: yes I was bragging about a 40km hike last month but I don't want to go 3 km with you next weekend. Yes I can bike 12 km today but yesterday I couldn't get out of bed. How do I ask an employer for accommodations for that? It makes no sense! I can't even explain it to my friends and family.

On the better side of things - once upon a time my joints hurt so much I cried on the way to work every day because the vibrations of the car hurt my wrists (and ankles and knees) so much. That is pretty much gone, thanks to meds. I can drive, ride planes and trains, whatever. When I first started biking a few weeks ago, my wrists and fingers would get tingly like they were falling asleep, and I'd stop early to keep from irritating them into an inflammation flare up. That has mainly gone away - my wrists hurt sometimes but more of a "twisted a bit wrong and it pulled a bit" way than nerves misfiring or bones grinding. Having that bit of extra muscle from riding a bike semi regularly seems to be really helping. I never managed that by putting on arm muscle at the gym - doing weights and stuff - but apparently putting on muscle in this specific way works for me.

[aroaceacacia]

HI!!!! sorry if you've already posted about this before, but i'm aware you help maintain a vod archive - we're trying to do this for another server and were wondering if you had any tips for useful tools or ways to go about this? thanks and sorry for bothering !!

yes ok!!! here r my tips

1. Have some sort of location where all the VODs are accessible from, for people who may want to find them. For us, we have a spreadsheet, with dates & labels; this could also take the form of a YouTube playlist or an archive.org collection

2. Having only one way to download VODs probably wont be able to cover every scenario you encounter. Here's a list of a BUNCH of resources and tools, many of which you might never need, and most of which I've never heard of. In terms of programs to download VODs, I personally use a mixture of three: Twitch Downloader, 4k Video Downloader, and Twitch Recover. (I use Downloader to access most Twitch VODs, 4k for YouTube videos/streams - although it also does Twitch - and Twitch Recover for when a VOD has been recently deleted*.)

3. TWITCH DELETES VODS !!!! unless a vod is saved as a highlight, those suckers go KABLOOEY at a certain point! the exact amount of time will vary, depending on whether ur streamer is affiliate, partner, or not, so knowing your streamer's status is very helpful. I think non-affiliates and affiliates have a week, and then partners have 60 days. Note that Twitch Recover does not work on VODs older than 60 days, so this time limit is REALLY IMPORTANT.

4. If you're able to get in touch with your streamers in some way, that is really cool and epic! Not necessary at all, but sometimes it's nice being able to remind streamers theres a demand for an official VODs channel, or asking if they have any spare VODs lying around

5. HAVE FRIENDS TO DO THIS WITH !! you said "we" so I assume theres probably a team of some sort already, but division of labor is HUGELY helpful for VOD archiving, because those GB start adding up fast. (It's about 2.5 GB per 1 hour of video at 1080p quality, and generally you want the highest quality possible, so VODs can get pretty chunky.) Oh yeah I guess storage space is useful too. Remember to do spring cleaning also every now and then and make sure you dont delete anything that isnt already backed up elsewhere 👍 but yes. Teamwork. Communicating with the group about who will do what, being able to mobilize in a potential crisis, and making occasional public calls for additional hands on help are all super important, I've found.

6. YouTube is a copyright bitch! While it's better for watching vods back on, it will occasionally block a vod for copyright. YouTube is great, I upload all my MCC vods there unlisted, but I also recommend getting familiar with archive.org. archive is a little slower to upload but it won't hide a VOD worldwide because it had a copyrighted song or three in it. Having mirrors of uploads is a good tool for peace of mind - one of my friends has been on a kick of double mirroring VODs lately, even ones that will eventually be up on a VODs channel, but that's also a lot of uploading and slows him down

7. Being aware to at least some degree of the contents of what you're archiving is a good thing. Sometimes you need to censor out an accidental doxxing or worry about an IP leak, and I find it makes me feel more confident in my work if I know what I'm preserving. Like, I archive plenty of MCC POVs I havent necessarily watched, but they're all MCC, and I know what happens, and I sometimes hear details from other people - but a random server VOD from a guy I don't watch much of could contain anything. Sometimes I worry I've accidentally stuck deeply personal information into the internets biggest document repository. And maybe I have. But having some familiarity helps the peace of mind

8. Have fun with it and take pride in your work! You're helping to prevent something you love, the hard work of others, from becoming lost media! That's sooooo epic and sexy and cool of you, actually, and more people should do it - either on their own for their own personal purposes, or in the context of a larger project, like me and you

tl;dr its work but it boils down to communication, having the right tools, and having a team that is willing to adapt and cooperate in order to get stuff done! best of luck in your efforts

[a-froger-epic]

Get out your glitter leotards and pour some champagne in your cat mugs! 🥂 🍾 It’s time to celebrate Freddie! 🎉😸

🎊 Freddie Mercury Weekend 2021 🎊

❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜

ABOUT THE EVENT

This weekend is a content creation event in honour of the man himself, the legend we all love, Freddie Mercury! Once more, everyone who is inspired by Freddie is invited to share their creativity with the fandom. You can write, draw, edit, record, even cross-stitch 😉 content for absolutely anything related to Freddie, any ship, any genre, any way you like. This is an indiscriminately inclusive, positive event. Everyone is welcome, there is no wrong way to be a fan of Freddie! (Except convincing yourself you're dating his ghost maybe. That's pretty wrong. And weird. Don't do that.)

WHEN? On the 21st, 22nd and 23rd of May.

HOW? On the above dates (or after!), post your contributions to the AO3 collection or alternatively on Tumblr, tagged ‘#fmw2021’ or/and ‘#freddie mercury weekend 2021’. If you post on Tumblr, please also tag @a-froger-epic to make sure you get a reblog from me!

❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜

THE PROMPTS

You can be as free with the prompts as you like. They are here to inspire, there is no wrong way to write them! Change them around, mix them up, make them fem!Freddie, A/B/O, add your favourite ship. Anything goes! 😊

21st of May - 500-1000 word challenge!

We’re kicking off the event with ficlets and drabbles. First time writer just testing the waters? No need for an epic, just write a scene! No time to write but you want to participate? Surely you’ll find time for 500 words! 😉 Interpret these mini-prompts however you like (every one is a separate prompt, but you can combine them!):

Make-Up 💄   |   Pain/Pleasure 👀

Strip 👕   |   Ring 💍

Forbidden 🤫   |   Delilah 🐈

Piano 🎹   |   Dormitory 🛏 

Outrageous 🎉   |   Contentment 😌

Come Together 🎇   |   Ballet 🩰

Piece of Art 🎨   |   Leather 🧥

Cockring 🐔   |   Kimono 👘

Petals 🌸   |   Leotard 🕺🏻

Mustache 🧔   |   Last Time 😔

22nd of May - Is This The Real Life? 

A list of real event/canon timeline prompts from Freddie’s life. How real you want to keep them, however, is entirely up to you!

Down in flames

Freddie is 16 years old when he leaves boarding school. Does it have something to do with the school gardener, Sanjay? Did he flunk his exams or did he not even sit them? Is one thing connected to the other? Does he really find a boyfriend when he goes to stay with his aunt in Mumbai (then Bombay)? Either way, there’s the small matter of his parents finding out about all of it... (Sources: x x )

When Freddie met Kenny

Freddie is a guest on Kenny Everett's radio show in spring 1974. Freddie is living with Mary, Kenny is married. Two gay men, deep in the closet. To no one's surprise, they hit it off immediately. (Source: x )

But when did he? 

At some point during his relationship with Mary, prior to his relationship with David, Freddie had already begun sleeping with men. But how and when did that first happen? Cottaging in London? On tour somewhere in the world? Your guess is as good as ours… 

Flying High

Sex, Drugs and Rock n' Roll. Like all rock bands of their time, Queen doesn’t escape the copious amounts of cocaine in the entertainment industry for long. Somewhere on tour in America, perhaps, Freddie is first introduced to it. Where? How? 

Hide your tears

Jim said that he tried to be strong for Freddie and only cried in private, so as not to burden Freddie with his feelings. But this time, he is found. 

One-liners:

In 1969, Freddie doesn’t know how to cook an egg and neither does Roger (Source: x )

In 1977, Freddie meets Joe while on tour in Boston and starts dating him behind David's back

In 1990, Brian and Freddie work on 'The Show Must Go On' (Source: x )

In a year of your choice, Jim reminisces about his fondest moment(s) with Freddie

In 1976, Freddie and Mary end their relationship 

In 1984, Winnie gives Freddie a wedding ring (middle of the post: x )

In the late 60s, Freddie agrees to model for an Ealing Art School fashion show, but panics and flees the runway (Source: x )

In 1974, Freddie is strip-searched upon arrival in Australia (Source: x )

In 1982, Freddie and Roger go shopping in Amsterdam (Source: x )

In 1978, Freddie swings from a chandelier - naked (Source: x )

23rd of May - Is It Just Fantasy?

A list of AU prompts to spark your imagination. Take them and run with them or change them up, just have fun!

Make your dreams come true

Freddie hasn't been very fortunate in his life, until he finds a very special oil lamp, and rubs it just the right way. 

Beautiful stranger

Freddie meets an alluring stranger at a masquerade ball, who has more secrets than he can hide behind a mask. But Freddie has some of his own. 

Thicker than water 

Freddie agrees to a dreadful fate in order to save his little sister from the very same. Fortunately, he has friends who are more than willing to help him, but can they? Or are they, too, in danger?

Diamonds are a boy's best friend

Freddie is the prized jewel of the court, a skilled belly-dancer and entertainer, but he may also be plotting murder and getting away with it. 

Almost Real

In a distant future, humans have all but done away with face to face interaction. Humanity largely lives online. Children grow up isolated and live with only their families well into young adulthood. Cybersex is the new normal, although some families take a puritanical approach for fear of addiction. One day, impossibly, a real life young man falls through the containment field in Freddie’s back garden. 

One-liners:

This plane is going to crash (Freddie knew there was a reason he hated flying) 

Shipwrecked on an island (Freddie could never bear to be alone, but luckily/unfortunately for him…) 

Hunger Games AU (Freddie is so dead) 

A terrible road accident (Everyone is so dead, or are they?) 

Blind Date AU (Freddie's best friend is so dead for setting him up with this person… or are they…) 

Bank robbery (but who are the robbers and who are the hostages?) 

Magic AU ("Yer a wizard, Freddie!")

Film Noir AU (Secrets and cigarette holders) 

Interior Design AU (Does the carpet match the drapes?)

The Bodyguard AU (“And I will always love yooouuuu…”)

❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜

RULES & FAQ

⛔ Strictly No Hate ⛔

This is the NUMBER ONE RULE of the event, to ensure that everybody feels safe. No rudeness, provocations or hate aimed at creators or other commenters will be permitted, not on AO3 nor Tumblr.

Follow these steps if you receive a comment or ask that distresses you:

Do not engage. (You can take a screenshot as proof.)

Delete it. No ifs, no buts. Just delete it. (Don’t hesitate to block anon hate on Tumblr.)

Alert me ( @a-froger-epic ) or @aboutnothingness, who is lending me a hand to make sure all needs are attended, all questions are answered and everything runs smoothly. We are here to actively support you. We’ve got your back, and we will gladly talk to you and help you feel better.

If you choose to ignore this rule, your work may be removed from the event. We would hate to resort to that.

But what if one of the works has upset me?

Can the thing that upset you be tagged, but it wasn’t? Then please inform @a-froger-epic or @aboutnothingness, and we will bring it to the creator’s attention. (Remember to use the appropriate tags, everybody!)

Was the thing that upset you already tagged? Or is it perhaps simply the characterisation you find disagreeable? Then we suggest you click on the ‘back’ button, take a deep breath and remind yourself it's just fanfic.

Who can participate?

Anyone who is inspired by Freddie Mercury in any way shape or form. This event is open to all.

Can I combine prompts from different days?

By all means! We look forward to your futuristic Freddie-gets-kicked-out-of-boarding-school Maycury Film Noir AU. With leotards. Go crazy.

I'm not sure where my creation fits in, what day do I post it? 

The days, like the prompts, are only suggestions. We don't mind when you post it, as long as you post it! Even if it's two weeks late! 

Help, I've never posted fic before! 

Don't worry, we've got you! (And more importantly, we've got AO3 invites!) @aboutnothingness is more than happy to walk you through the process of setting up an account and is also offering her services as a beta.

I��m still too nervous to participate!

You can post anonymously to the collection. You can disable anon comments on your work. You can disable comments entirely and just collect the kudos. You can close anon asks on Tumblr temporarily. But most importantly, we are here for you and we want you here!

❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜

“I love the fact that I make people happy, in any form. Even if it’s just half an hour of their lives, in any way that I can make them feel lucky or make them feel good, or bring a smile to a sour face, that to me is worthwhile.”

- Freddie Mercury

[log6]

Hi I saw you said you were open to giving relationship advice? Please, I need some help on dealing with my crazy coworker. My job is a supporting role doing technical drawings, and the sales reps give us specifications on what should be in the drawings. This one sales rep keeps asking for revisions, then going back on those revisions, then changing her mind again and reimplementing the revisions. She also keeps asking for extra stuff thats not in my job description that I can technically do, and have foolishly done in the past, but it takes up so much of my time. And of course she keeps asking for this stuff ASAP, ignoring that she's one of 5 reps I service. Idk if she doesn't understand the amount of work she's asking me to do, or doesn't care, but it has to stop. I can't work a third 60 hour week in a row.

I guess my question is: how do I tell her to stop, but in a professional way? I'm not confident that I can just tell her no bc she's been with the company for 3 years and I was just hired. I also really don't want to get fired bc I'm paycheck to paycheck. She's also not my boss but idk how to complain to my boss about her.

Thanks for your time, sorry for the weird ask but I need some advice other than "just push through it!!!" And you seem smart enough to not take coworkers shit.

The first and easiest thing to do is when she asks you to do these things tell her that unfortunately due to time constraints you don't think those things will be possible, but you'll see what you can do. Then so some or none of them. Really what you want to do is find one that's your best ratio on time and effort to client appreciation and do that. Or just don't. Personally I'd also ask your boss if this is typical of the client and if these are things you're expected to do. The other option is to just bring it up with your boss, if they're a good supervisor they'll help you deal with this because one client affecting someone's ability to work with 4 other clients is just not a good problem to have. But that can also definitely depend on how high value a specific client is. The way to talk to your boss about it is definitely make it about affecting your ability to work with other clients. Essentially the goal here is to get your supervisor to sign on off on saying no to these things. You can also tell her time constraints don't allow for the volume of work (mention number of revisions specifically) she frequently requests and offer solutions like asking your supervisor if she can be handled by someone with more time available to dedicate directly to her (even if that isn't actually a real possibility). If you are actually able to do the work (the revisions specifically) and time is just the problem because she keeps asking for things immediately you'd be reasonable to tell her that unfortunately you can't expedite a high number of revisions for a single client all the time and frequent vacillation on revisions will result in delays on deliverables.

[supraveng]

Cocktail Hour

Summary: you work for Stark in his lab and get to know the Avengers, you also moonlight as a bartender

Characters: Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes, Tony Stark, Natasha Romanof, Reader

Warnings: SMUT and story and a bit of fluff, alcohol consumption, 

Word Count: 4312

“What do you want, Wilson?” you asked without looking up from the project you were working on.   “Is that anyway to treat your favorite Avenger?” he responds with a smirk.  “Oh, I didn’t realize you brought Bucky with you” you smirk as you look up a bit shocked to see Bucky standing behind Sam and with a shit eating grin. 

“Wow, really Y/N?  I thought we were friends'' he responds in a huff.  “Wilson, you only come visit when you want something from me, it’s never friendly chatting.  I’m busy, what do you want?” you deadpan knowing the more you agitate him the longer this is going to take, but you don’t care.  Getting Sam all riled up is one of your favorite past times, and one that you and Bucky have been bonding over.  

“Fine, I’ll make it short and sweet.  I need you to put in a good word for me with your girl, Savannah'' he states as he wiggles his eyebrows.  You freeze and slowly look at Sam, with a slight squint.  

“WHAT?” you respond exasperated that he’s interrupting your project that seems to be never ending.  "Please?  She's cute and we really hit it off, but I'll be coming back to the bar this week to get her number and you can make sure she knows I'm more than worth her time" he tells you with a smug look on his face.  

"First of all, since when does the, and I quote, great Sam Wilson need help getting numbers? Second, her name is Sienna not Savannah. And last but not least, you aren't her type" you respond with a smirk, knowing just how much your points are getting under my skin.  

"Alright now, I don't need your help getting numbers, women love me. I just wanted you to be a supportive friend" he grumbles at you.  You just raise an eyebrow waiting for him to continue. 

"Second, she said Savanna like the city in Georgia." "Its Siena, like the city IN ITALY!" you interrupted.  

"And third, how could this not be her type?" he said as he gestured from his head to his toes, flashing that ridiculous smile and beginning to flex his biceps.  You let out a heavy sigh and you can tell he thinks he's got you stumped.  

"While all that" you waive your hand towards him "might interest some women, you just don't have what she wants" you state while slightly shaking your head sadly. He's about to start up with another dispute and any other time you would love to spend hours tormenting him like this, but you were still working and had a few hours left to finish the reconfiguration of your latest project, so you step closer. 

Putting your hands on his shoulders and looking up at him with an apologetic smile "Sam, you don't have a vagina. I'm sorry, but she's not interested unless you do."  

Bucky couldn't hold it in any longer and was doubled over in laughter. "Now, if you boys didn't bring me coffee, get out of my lab" you say as sweetly as possible.  "But she was so flirty, are you sure?  Maybe she's bi?" he asks trying to understand what he missed. 

 "She's a waitress Sam, flirting gets you bigger tips.  I mean did you give your usual amount or did she earn a bit extra?" you ask only trying to get him to see the reality of their interactions.  

"Damn it!" he huffs as he turns around to leave.  Bucky straightens up trying to calm himself down when he looks up at you "I'll be right back with your coffee" 

A few minutes later, Tony walks in with a quizzical look on his face "what did you do to birdman and gramps?"  He moves past you toward the back of the lab.  

"Why would you think I did anything to those two?" you ask as innocently as possible.  He arches an eyebrow and you concede "ugh, why does that always work? Ok, it's no big deal, Sam was asking about my coworker Siena, and I told him he had no chance since she's into women. But apparently when a waitress flirts its interest and not just trying to get a bigger tip, he learned a lot today" you sigh as you continue working.  

"What do you mean "coworker Siena''? He asks using air quotes.  "I've never seen her in my lab, who is she?"  " She's a waitress at the bar" you mumble realizing Tony didn't know about your other job. You have been an intern for him, working on your doctorate in Biomedical engineering, for the last year and he didn't know you had another job. This isn't going to end well you thought to yourself.  

"How is it possible you have another job? You are here all the time, how do you have time to work at a bar, write your dissertation, find time to sleep and have a social life?" he asks, seeming like he's been swindled or something.  

"And why do you have another job?  This internship pays above average for engineers, I'm not even sure what's going on around here anymore."  

"Ok, Tony, first of all, I thought you knew, I cleared it with legal before I accepted the internship.  I've been working at The Rum House since my freshman year and they are flexible with my hours. Two, the work I'm doing here is my dissertation,�� three who are you to question my sleep habits?  And four, I like staying busy, I don't have a social life per say and I'm ok with that" you state with a shrug just as Bucky comes walking in with a huge cup of coffee.

"One venti flat white with hazelnut, sorry am I interrupting?" he questions as he hands you the coffee.  You immediately bring it to your face and take a deep breath closing your eyes to enjoy your favorite beverage and miss the small smirk on Bucky's face, feeling a bit of joy that he could make you happy with something as simple as a cup of coffee.  

Taking a sip you moan and open your eyes to see Tony and Bucky starring at you. With a smile you look at Bucky "thank you, this is exactly what I needed and no you didn't interrupt a thing, we're done,"  

"We are so far from done, did you know she had another job? Hmm? Am i the last to find out everything around here?” Tony mumbles to himself as he goes back to his work station.  Bucky smiles and waves as he leaves and you watch him longer than you should but damn the way he wears jeans just does something  to you.  

"And what was that?  You have a crush on the centurion now too?" he asks.  "What? You are ridiculous!  I'm just appreciating the coffee and wondering why you never bring me coffee.  I mean, I thought you took your title of "World's greatest boss" seriously but I guess that's not the case" you respond as seriously as possible as you sit back down and get back to your project.   

You've been working non stop most of the day and don't realize how late it is until your phone chimes and you notice it’s after midnight. .

You are probably already in bed but I wanted to say goodnight 

I'm actually still working. I guess I lost track of time.  I should head home and get some sleep

It's late, you could stay with me  ;) 

That's so tempting but your roommates are very nosey, not sure how to sneak out in the morning without getting caught 

You're right, as always.  Can I walk you home?

I would love that, meet me at the corner  in 15?

I'll be there in 10 

"Even tired you still look beautiful, how is that possible? " he states as you wrap your arms around his torso for a long overdue hug.  "And you are always the charmer, how did I get so lucky?" you mumble into his chest as you inhale deeply.  

His scent always felt calming and safe. "I'm the lucky one" he says as he kisses the top of your head.  Beginning to walk arm in arm down the street,  "now let's get you to bed, you work too much"  

"In my defense it will all be over once I complete my dissertation, then when I find a real job, I'll be a normal person working 60-80 hours a week" you smile at him and peck his cheek.  

"That's more than normal people, and the part time job at the bar? Are you going to give that up?" he questioned with a smirk.  

"I like the bar and I thought you liked the tiny uniform" you wink as you turn the corner towards your apartment.  

"You can wear that for me any time and I would love it, not just at work, or better yet, nothing at all" he responds in a low growl. You chuckle and swat his chest, "then we would never leave the apartment" "and I don't see that as a problem at all!" he spins you towards him and kisses you passionately, then releases your arm. 

"Aren't  you coming up?" you ask a bit disappointed. "I definitely want to, but you need sleep and if I go up to your place, I will not let you get any." he states slowly backing away.  

"I have tomorrow off, do you think you can break away from your roommates and we can have lunch?" you ask. "If you have the whole day off, you call me when you wake up and I'll take you to breakfast, lunch and dinner, and I will make sure we work up an appetite in between'' he responds with the wiggle of his eyebrows.  

"That sounds perfect! I'll call you in the morning" you smile as you make your way into the building.  Flopping on your bed exhausted, you have a smile on your face for the plans you have for tomorrow. 

Waking up you look at your clock and gasping, 10:33, you hadn't slept that late in ages. 

Hey handsome, you probably don't believe me, but i just woke up!  I'm gonna hope in the shower or should I wait for you to join me ;)

Oooo, I am on my way, do not start without me! 

😘

The knock at your door was barely 10 minutes later, and you opened it laughing at the look on his face. "Did you run the whole way here? Your place is a 20 minute walk away."  

"I needed to work up a sweat for the shower, been thinking about you naked since last night, which makes it very HARD to sleep" he responds while following you into the apartment.  

"Well, you are overdressed so maybe I can help you out of those clothes" you respond in almost a whisper. You bat your lashes as you start to unbuckle his belt, looking up at him biting your lip "it's been such a long week, I feel like I hardly get to see you."  

"I know, but today will make up for it, I promise" he mumbles into your neck.  You are walking backwards into the bathroom when he is finally in just his boxers, you turn on the shower before dropping your robe to the floor.  

He drinks you in from head to toe with a low moan "Damn beautiful, I've missed you" he practically purrs as he grabs your hips to pull you closer.   The long shower was a much needed tension relief for both of you and lasted until the water ran cold.  

“So what would you like for breakfast, beautiful?” he asks as he’s kissing your neck and wrapping his arms around you.  “Actually, I was thinking maybe we order in, that way we don’t need to bother getting dressed at all.” you respond biting your lip and enjoying his lips traveling down your neck to your collarbone.  He practically growls in response before picking you up and carrying you out of the bathroom, “you are brilliant, you know that?” before throwing you on the couch and poncing on top of you.  

Several slices of pizza and orgasms later, the two of you are cuddling on the couch when his phone dings, “they can’t leave you alone for a day can they?” you quip knowing it’s his roommates checking to make sure he’s still alive.  

He kisses your forehead before grabbing his phone “they are a bunch of smothering assholes, that’s what they are!” he responds before reading the message with a large sigh.  Looking at him you know exactly what that means “what time do you have to leave?” you ask as casually as possible.  

“I’m sorry, it’s a last minute “important” meeting, I can shower here and leave at 8ish to be on time” he responds apologetically.  

“Which means you are supposed to be there before 8, but I will take every minute I can get!” you state as you straddle his lap and kiss his jaw. 

 “Trust me, I would much rather be here with you, kissing every inch of your body.  Maybe I can fake that I’m sick” he mumbles against your neck.  

You are about to respond when your phone starts ringing, you snarl as you look up ‘who the hell is calling me on a Saturday afternoon?” you whine as you reach for your phone.  You toss it on the coffee table almost as quickly as you picked it up.  

“You can answer that, I don’t mind, I can be a very good boy when I want to” he says as he winks at you.  “That is the bar, and it’s my day off…...and you are never a good boy, one of the many traits I love about you” you hum as he begins to assault your chest with his sinful mouth and tongue.  

Before he can continue, your phone starts ringing again and you whine as he stops “noooo, don’t stop!”   He hands you your phone as he gets up and heads into the kitchen.  

“This better be important” you practically yell as you answer the call.  “Uh, hey Y/N! It’s Gary, and I know it’s your day off but we got a last minute backroom booking and I need the best bartender in NYC.  Can you be here by 9?”  You don’t respond, only sighing into the phone  “I’ll pay you double!  And you can have tomorrow night off”  he throws in trying to change your mind.  

“It’s not about the money Gary, I haven’t had an entire day off in 4 months.   My body and brain need to do nothing but eat take out and catch up on bad reality tv” you argue, knowing it will do nothing to deter him from getting you into the bar tonight.   

You look up to see a beer being handed to you and smirk on his face “I can go down there and scare him if you want” he whispers, only making you giggle in response.  

“Ok, I’ll pay you for not working tomorrow night, please I really need you!”  “Fine, quit begging, but I’m only agreeing because I lost my evenings entertainment. See you at 9!” you say before hanging up without letting him respond.   

“Looks like my evening just got filled and I’ll be slinging booze rather than recuperating from today’s activities” you pout as you sip your beer.  “Well it’s almost 6, so let's order some Chinese food and go for round 5 before we have to return to the real world” he responds sitting next to you with his arm around your shoulders.  

“Yes, but food first, I just hope I’ll be able to walk tonight.  You have one hell of a libido!” you yell as he attacks your neck again.  “Only for you, beautiful”

The time passes by faster than you like and you both shower before dressing.  You are dressed and starting on your makeup when he walks into your room for a final kiss goodbye.  “Damn, it is hard to leave when you look that good with clothes on” he eyes you up and down causing you to blush.   

“Hey, why don’t you come by the bar after your meeting and we can continue what you started, handsome!” leaning back into his strong chest.  “That sounds perfect, I’ll text you on my way!” and before you can respond he is running out the door, you just shake your head and laugh knowing he’s gonna be late and doesn’t even care.  

Heading out of your apartment  you decide to stop for coffee before hopping on the subway.  It’s been a long and tiring day, in the best way possible, but you are expecting it to be a long night too since it’s a private event and there are always stragglers that have no intention of leaving when someone else is footing the bill.  

Walking into the bar, you begin to wonder who books a last minute party on the weekend but decide it doesn’t really matter.   You had an amazing day with your amazing man and were getting paid double, so it was definitely a win/win, even if your thighs were more sore than you realized before you left your apartment. 

Note to self, uber the next time you have an all day sexcapade.  You start to giggle at the thought when you make your way to the back room and start rearranging the bar to your preference.  .

”Finally!  I was beginning to worry you were going to stand me up!” Gary yells as he makes his way over to you.   “Are you kidding? You offered me a lot of money to be here, and I have student loans out the wazoo!  This is the second best thing that's happened to me today.” you state, not bothering to look up as you are wiping down the bottles.   

“And by the look of that stupid grin on your face, I’m going to assume a certain someone is the first?” he questions, but you just shake your head and smirk.  

“When is the party supposed to arrive?  Any special requests I need to know about?” you ask in an attempt to change the topic as quickly as possible. 

“They will be here any minute now and you are the only one back here tonight, but it’s only 10-12 guests so you should be fine.  But let me know if you need a cocktail server or bar back, I can’t spare both but I’ll pop in and help when I can” he smiles and turns back to the bar area of the bar.   

You are digging for the better rocks glasses when you hear people enter the room and turn to smile at the arriving guests, only for your  face to immediately fall.  

“Are you kidding me Stark?!” you grit out.  “I can’t get away from you for a damn day?” you ask.  

“Oh, is this the bar you work at, behind my back? I had no idea” he states dripping in sarcasm.  “HA!” you fake a laugh “so this is my payback for not telling you?”  “No, actually, Birdman told me about the uniform and I had to see  for myself” he says, eyeing you up and down. 

“I have to say, you look different than I anticipated and a little hurt that we don’t get to see this side of you in the lab.”  You shake your head and laugh at yourself, this wasn’t how you expected your night to go, but at least you knew your clients weren’t just a bunch of assholes.   

These people were your friends, practically family since you started working for Stark.  “So Tones, what can I get you?  I don’t think we’ve ever drank together, so I honestly don’t know if you are a Scotch neat or martini kind of man”  

“Well, a little birdie told me that this bar has cocktails named after me and my friends, so that’s why I’m here, I wanted to check them out!” he smiles and you realize he’s either testing your bar-tending skills to prove to you that you don’t need this other job or his curiosity is going to be boosting his ego, either way, tonight will be fun.   

“We do have a few, here is the Avenger cocktail list.” you say handing him the list with a smirk, knowing you will be making all of these drinks by the end of the night.  

“Well, since you’ve worked here so long, what do you recommend?” he replies while looking over the various drinks “and why am I not listed at the top?  If it’s not in alphabetical order, it should at least be listed by best Avenger at the top”  

“Well, it’s listed by most popular drink, so if you want something sweet, I would go for The Cap America, if you need something more of a punch try the Black Widow, if you want to get revved up but not remember much of your night you should go for the Hulk.  The Iron Man is an acquired taste, but it’s definitely worth a try, but most people don’t order a second one” just describing the drinks to him, you wonder if he thinks you are commenting on the drinks or the people behind them.  

“Thor is pretty good if you want something simple, Hawkeye is both strong and sweet, Scarlet Witch is one of my personal favorites, along with the Bucky.” you stare at him with your hands resting on the bar top.  

“Wait a damn minute!  I am in this bar all the time and there’s no Falcon cocktail?  What the hell Y/N?” Sam yells from behind Tony.  

“I’m sorry, I don’t get to  decide what goes on the menu, but I am working on creating your drink” you respond as sweetly as possible.  “I’m just stuck on how to make a drink that people will enjoy, but is also a pain in the ass" you smirk as Sam realizes what you just said. 

"I didn't know it was pick on Sam day, but I've had enough! Can I have a beer and tequila shots? I came here to have a good time and I feel attacked right now."  

"Of course, whatever you want Sam" you say as you grab a mug and start to pour his favorite beer.  Handing it to him with a smile, he leans in and pecks you on the cheek, “you’re lucky I love you enough to put up with your shit” he grumbles as he walks towards the tables.  

After fixing all of the specialty drinks for everyone to try the signature cocktail you are certain that the night has just begun.  You are wiping down the bar top when you look up to see Bucky grinning at you, turning you realize Natasha is at the bar for another round.  

“Same drink or would you like something else, Nat?”  “Do you have any decent vodka or am I just wasting your time?” she asks with a laugh.  “We actually carry Jewel of Russia, but that’s about as good as it gets, I’m sorry Tony dragged you out tonight just to torment me.” you mention while grabbing the bottle from the fridge and a handful of shot glasses.  

“I was wondering what this last minute outing was all about, I figured it was Barnes trying to let you see him in a more relaxed state” she quips while trying to gauge your reaction.  

“Bucky?  Him and Sam are in here all the time, and I’m not sure why you think he would want me to see him relaxed…..” you reply while setting up a tray for the shots.  Natasha grabs two before you can even fill more.  “Well, I’ve never seen him gawk at a bartender, like he is tonight”

“I think you are reading into something that isn’t there, but why don’t I take this tray over and test your theory?” you say while grabbing the tray of shots and placing the bottle of vodka in an ice bucket.  

Noticing that Bucky was watching most of your conversation you make sure to sway your hips a bit extra and set the tray down in front of the team. 

“Alright gang, let me get some of these empties out of here and grab a couple more rounds for you.  Any special requests?” you smile around the group seated in the overstuffed chairs and couches.  

“Hey Buck, anything you want to ask Y/N for?” Natasha says with a sweet tone.  “Like a date maybe?” she adds just as Bucky was about to ask for a drink.  You chuckle slightly look over at Bucky who seems to be a bit in shock.  

“Uh, nah, I don’t think I’m Y/N’s type” Bucky says attempting to brush off Nat’s comment and not draw more attention to the conversation.  With the glasses gathered in your hands, you start to head back to the bar before responding ‘yea, tall, dark and handsome isn’t my type” you smirk as you walk away.  

Immediately the entire crew is carrying on like a bunch of teenagers and egging Bucky on to follow you to the bar.  You are starting to pour a few pints when Bucky clears his throat to gain your attention.  

“So you think I’m tall, dark and handsome, huh?” he almost whispers.  “Well, that’s the PG version of what I think about you, didn’t want to get you into any trouble with your roommates.  Are you coming back over when this little party is over?” you ask with a smirk.  

“Oh, you know I am, I owe you a couple more orgasms today.   As long as I get to help you out of that sexy uniform.”

[paradise-creator]

Hellooo!! I love love LOVE the diamond box matchup you did!! You're amazing!! Your blog is incredible!! Now I'm here for a romantic haven box Haikyuu matchup pls🥺

Appearance: My name is Kay! She/her, black, straight, 5'1, I have a slightly athletic & curvy-ish figure (lol idk), short-ish hair(like mid-neck), dark brown eyes, shoe size 9, I like to dress comfy so I'm always in oversized hoodies, sweatpants, sneakers, sweatshirts and shorts. I like colorful clothes too, high waisted jeans and shorts and boots. I'm not very fashionable but I try lol.

Personality:

Basics: infp-t, Hufflepuff, Taurus sun, scorpio moon, sanguine, chaotic good, ambivert.

Some positive traits: I'm optimistic, friendly, energetic, organized, enthusiastic, observant, happy, open-minded, loving, encouraging and inquisitive!!

Some negative traits: I'm annoying, perfectionist, insecure, forgetful, easily distracted, kinda lazy, argumentative, too nice at times and clingy.

I love learning new things!! Currently I'm learning Korean, how to draw, how to paint and songs on the saxophone.

When I'm up for it, I love fun physical activity!! Going for a hike, going to the gym, bungee jumping, mountain climbing, going camping and etc :D

Although I love going out, nothing beats lazy days at home. I can spend hours by myself and still be happy. When alone I usually sleep or watch a movie/anime or practice my drawing or saxophone or try and learn something new!

I have a horrible memory and can never remember important dates 😭 I've forgotten my own birthday a few times (rip) so people can get mad at me for missing appointments, forgetting birthdays and other important days. I try my best to organize everything necessary on my phone calendar so I can be reminded.

I love seeing people happy! Nothing can fulfill my day more than knowing I put a smile on someone's face! I usually try my best to help out anyone who needs it and to the best of my ability! This has led to me getting taken advantage of in the past but I can't help but try and make others happy. I've developed a thicker skin and some trust issues as I've grown up because of it.

I love hyping my friends/family up!! Do you need a boost in confidence? Here I am, ready to help you remember the absolute king/queen/royalty that you are!! I'm usually very energetic and enthusiastic about many things and I love spreading positivity around!!

My love language is physical touch! So touch is very important to me in my relationships. Though I am insecure so I tend to think that I smother the people I care about with too much affection idk lol. I live for hugs and cuddles and hand holding 👉🏿👈🏿 but because of that I feel like I'm very clingy and annoying skskfksjd

I'm introverted in nature so although I mean usually full of energy and love making new friends, I can't do it for too long lol. My social battery runs out really fast and I have to hide away and recharge before I can be fully social again, otherwise I won't be my best self. I treasure personal time and understand when people need time for themselves too.

I love spontaneity!! I love living in the moment and doing stuff just for the hell of it!! Wanna go on a road trip? Dance in the rain? Build houses for charity? Go to McDonald's at 2am? Go on a long walk? SIGN ME UP!!

I can also be lazy and unmotivated to do stuff. If something doesn't interest me, I'd find myself incapable of doing it or I'd do it with great difficulty. I'm one of those 'do something when inspiration/motivation hits you otherwise it'll be absolute shit' types.

But when I do have motivation/inspiration that's when my perfectionism comes in and I have to do it in the best possible way and anything less is an insult to me, my family, my ancestors and descendants lmaoo. Unfortunately I subconsciously set a very high bar for myself which can be overwhelming and stressful but when I manage to produce work of that quality, it's very satisfying and rewarding jshkshdhsj

I have more to add but I feel like this is getting way too long 💀 lemme just move to the next section heheheh

Hobbies: I LOVE listening to music, learning new things, watching movies/anime, sleeping, reading, writing, playing saxophone (I'm still learning tho lol), swimming, drawing, journaling, making friends, and cooking!

My music taste: any type of rock (punk rock, grunge, j-rock, metal), pop, KPOP, RnB, jazz, dubstep, lofi hip hop, rap, trap, krnb, anime OP's and bangers from: Elvis, the beach boys, Queen, Khalid, Ateez, Harry styles, Kendrick Lamar, p!atd, mcr, fallout boy, Nirvana, BTS, mxmtoon, Marianas trench, twenty one pilots, stray kids, Jay Park, crush, Dreamcatcher, Skrillex, MJ, troye sivan etc

Fun facts:

I'm more of a cat person but I live dogs and think they're adorable!!

I have four piercings and I plan on getting more soon!!

I'm a night owl, and get super grumpy in the mornings especially when woken up unexpectedly >:/

Although I love making friends, I only have like 1/2 super close friends and like 20+ acquaintances lol

I want to get a tattoo soon but idk what to get :(

I'm super addicted to coffee (rip) and if I don't take some for some time (like a week) I'll get the worst migraines and I won't feel better until I drink some coffee 😭

That's it!! I hope i wrote enough stuff!! Did I leave anything out? If you need more pls tell me and I'll send another ask :D Take your time!! I'm in no rush. I'll patiently wait even though you get writers block or have a large amount of asks 😌 pls stay safe and healthy!! Drink lots of water, sleep well and have an amazing day/night!! 💙✨

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ɴᴏᴡ ʟᴏᴀᴅɪɴɢ

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Hello and Welcome my Starlight!

The Haven box includes:

- Match up

- Sun drop

- Journal of Feelings

- 3 am shenanigans

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

I'd match you up with

Sugawara Koushi, Vice-captain of Karasuno

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Sun drops

- OKAY so like, as I read your description I thought of Akaashi or Yaku or Sugawara

- Me being the indecisive author I am had trouble picking

- But then I remembered that you loved to do spontaneous things.

- And that's when I realized that Sugawara is THE ONE

- You two would be deemed the "3 am couple"

- Or in the team it would be "Epitome of Chaos"

- He takes care of you

- He will alway remind you that you don't need to be perfect

- Insecurities? BE GONE

- Nagativity? BE GONE

- That's basically his motto

- He is both your mom and partner in Crime

- did I mention he will take care of you?

- CUDDLES AND KISSES FOR DAYS

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Journal of feelings

- Once this man realizes that you LOVE physical affection. He will give it to you. EVERYTIME HE SEES YOU

Kay entered the gym to watch her boyfriend play. She tried sneaking in and so far it has been great. She thought she was off the hook but then felt a familiar arms wrapped around her waist. "I found you~" Sugawara said with a smile.

- You both would often plan pranks and majority of the times, it would succeed

"Okay okay, so what are we doing today?" Kay asked the silver haired male. "Oh~ maybe we can scare Asahi or anyone for that matter with a beetle?" Sugawara suggested. "That's--no," Kay responded.

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

3 am shenanigans

It’s 3 am in the morning. Almost everyone is fast asleep or in their homes, well almost. The night sky is littered with diamond in the sky. The streets were silent but it was comforting. A few people walked here and there. And a few cars passes by there and here. “What are we doing up so late?” A silver haired man said as he yawned. “We’ll be going to Mc Donald’s! What else?” The female responded as she smiled at him. “Is it even open at this time?” He asked. “Koushi, darling, it is open,” Kay, the lover of our beloved silvered male man said as she smiled. Sugawara chuckled and held her hand, the smile on his face was evident. “You know, we should be sleeping by now right?” He said as he pulled her closer. “And so what? I wasn’t planning on sleeping early! I slept the whole day yesterday and missed the chance to hang out with you,” The girl responded.

A small blush appeared on the male’s face and he giggled. “That’s very sweet bu-“ He was about to say but was silenced by the girl. “That was very sweet but we could’ve done this later on or tomorrow. Well, sorry to break it to you, Love. But, we are here,” She said as she pulled the male inside the fast food chain. And soon enough, the two got their orders and enjoyed their meal. “I don’t know why but this hits different,” Kay said as she eat a French fry. “It really does. Especially since you are here,” Sugawara stated as he patted her head. Now, she was the one blushing. As the two chatted, the other customers and staff glanced at them every now and then. None of them were annoyed at their interactions. On the contrary, they enjoyed watching them,

Some felt envious of their relationship. Some dreamt to have something like that. And others remembered the times of old. The two were so sweet, it’s almost too much. Laughter and chattering echoed through the building from both the couple and the people around them. Then they were dub the “3 am couple” as the two would often venture in that restaurant at 3 am in the morning.

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Author's note

I'm so so sorry for the long wait! This week has been hectic. Anywho, I hope you enjoy this matchup~ and thanks for requesting!

[vivrepourleslivres]

Hey, I know you already graduated so sorry if this is a bit off topic! I'm starting at Oxford next month to do law, and I'm a bit panicked about the reading. I feel like I read pretty slowly, especially if I'm taking notes (which I kind of have to if I want to focus at all), and it just seems like they're so much raw material I don't know if I'll keep up. Is that something you ever struggled with? How many pages did you tend to have to read in a day? I worry I'll have to stop sleeping ngl

Well, congratulations on getting into Oxford! That in and of itself is not an easy task so it’s always a good thing to remember when workload is stressing you out that your tutors must have picked you for a reason, and that they think you can handle it even if sometimes you feel like you can’t. Also, I may not be able to give as many examples as I would like because I’m currently in the process of moving so all my old reading lists and breakdowns are in a box somewhere…

First, everyone struggles with reading. EVERYONE. Even if they don’t admit it. Law is one of, if not the most, intensive subjects when it comes to the sheer amount of reading you have to do. The Law Faculty describes the workload by saying it should be around 30-40 hours a week – a fulltime job essentially. However, this is quite a bit exaggerated. Of course, it all depends on what college you’re in and who your tutors are, but you can get by just fine without forcing yourself to be glued to a textbook/casebook/WestLaw all day:

·         You do not have to read the entire reading list of cases. Your tutors will hopefully make this clear to you, and if they don’t then the finalist lawyers in your college definitely should. Every reading list I was ever given by a tutor had certain cases in bold or marked by an asterisk. These are the must-reads, which you will have to know and come exam time will likely be referencing often. You should read the entirety of these cases, including all the judgements, even if there is no dissent in the case. It’s by knowing the little details in each judge’s reasoning in these cases that you get in the 67-74 mark realm, which is where you want to be. There’s usually a couple of these per reading list, but no more than ten on any one list I would say. For cases that are not bold or marked, your tutor will probably tell you to read these anyway. I did this in my first year and it just stressed me out without helping much. It’s kind of a thing you have to get a feel for. I would read the headnote of the case (so the facts and the summary of the judgement), and decide whether it was important from that. If the case is mentioned a lot in the important cases because it was at one point important precedent, it’s probably still a good idea to read it. If not, and if it is on a very small subsection in the reading list (like trustees de son tort in trusts), I wouldn’t bother. The only other thing I’d add with regards to cases is that recent cases (so for you anything that came out [2017] or later) is probably worth reading because tutors like to bring them up. If your tutor insists that every case is important, look up the faculty reading list for that subject on WebLearn, as the most important cases are highlighted there as well. You can also use the faculty list if you want some more cases/articles for your essay but the tutor hasn’t provided many.

·         Textbook reading can be hit or miss. A good chunk of your weekly reading can come from the assigned textbook chapter. From what I remember it’s usually around 70 pages per subject per week, and for your first two years you’ll be on a subject and a half a term so around 70-140 pages a week from the textbook? Tutors have their own textbook preferences, and will probably point you towards a certain one, but some subjects do not really (in my opinion) fully warrant investment into a textbook – I barely ever used my EU law or my administrative law textbooks, I think I only opened the second for my final! I also think there is something to be said for trying to understand the cases in your own way before reading the textbook, as some of the authors are very biased in their explanations. Other subjects however (especially Intro to Roman Law) are more focussed on textbooks because of their nature. You’ll figure it out pretty quickly though were textbooks are important and where they’re not. I would however highly suggest the Text, Cases, and Materials series though! These combine a textbook and a casebook, and are pretty up-to-date on new developments. My contract one was honestly a god send, and I cut a lot of cases and textbook reading out of my week because of those books.

·         Articles. I’ll be honest, I would usually only read an article if it directly correlated to the essay, or was under 20 pages. Articles are your tools for getting a 70s, but you can get very high 2:1s without having to read many of them. Articles in my opinion are more time consuming than textbook reading – there was a week of admin reading that ended in five 60 articles on the same topic and that was actual hell.  It’s also rather difficult in an exam setting to remember many articles and academic viewpoints unless you completely drill them into your head so… Yeah – you don’t need to read many, and you certainly don’t have to read all of them (but if you’re really interested in the subject and have the time – go for it!)

·         Legislation. This applies mainly to land law and it’s heavy reliance on statute – literally glance at the sections on the list and post them all into a word document which you keep open during tutorials. You’ll get to know the really important sections through the cases, so don’t waste time on trying to remember it all (especially since you’re allowed statute books in exams). For EU law (which also relies on legislation quite a bit), maybe have a closer look at the actual wording and the implication of it, but again you get a statute book so…(also EU is a finalist subject so I’m getting a bit ahead of myself)

·         Your finalists are your friends. I mean upper years in general, but the finalists are the ones with all the tips and tricks because you get so stressed you learn all the ways to cut corners :D Do not be afraid to ask your seniors for notes! This does depend somewhat on college (again), but in my college a dropbox is made each year by the graduating cohort of all their finals notes (so I’ve just done this), and second years add in their moderations notes as well. These are great because they let you skip cases (providing the notes include case summaries) and can even point out those little differences in judge’s reasoning that I was talking about earlier (like the three-way split in Re Baden’s 2). So don’t be afraid to ask for notes, or even for advice on what you can safely skip knowing your tutor.

·         They ease you into it. You’ll do criminal law, constitutional law, and an introduction to roman private law over your first two terms, doing a subject and a half per term. Of those three, criminal law is the only case-heavy subject. Constitutional law and roman are mainly textbook/article based. So you shouldn’t have a very intense workload until Trinity term at the earliest (outside of revision for mods in Hillary) at which point you should have found your ideal work pace. So try not to worry too much about it all happening too much at once.

Honestly, I think it’s kind of an Oxford thing that we somewhat exaggerate how much work we do. Personally, I would divide my reading list into chunks (usually about a third of a side of A4) and say – this is how much I’m going to get done each day. Most reading lists are 2/3 sides of A4 I would say? I could still have days where I wouldn’t get that chunk done and would still be okay and reach the deadline. So I wouldn’t worry too much about it. Also you could make arrangements with other fresher lawyers to take certain parts of the reading list, but I maybe wouldn’t do that until you know them and how they approach cases/reading/notes, etc.

I hope this wasn’t too ramble-y and did somewhat help. I’m totally happy to answer any questions you have about Oxford/law despite graduating because it helps me relieve my youth and avoid the real world :L Good luck for your first year!

[orphankin]

Long story about my grandpa

What he says is marked by *

Can you please not use Amazon today and tomorrow?

*Why cause it's prime day?

Yes they're on strike

*Well I'm not seeing anything I want anyway

I'm so glad worker's livelihoods depend on when you want something

* Me too

The workers ask for two fucking days that you don't go on, you've spent 500$ on Amazon in the last two weeks I don't think you need anything for two days

I explain that they're striking when he's still not convinced he should not use the website

*I've been on strikes I know what a fucking strike is

Okay then I don't know why you have a problem with not using Amazon for two days

*My whole life was upside down for six years because we striked over a nickel

I'm sorry your strike was bad? But that doesn't mean you get to decide to cross the picket line because your strike 30 years ago failed

*Well people crossed my pocket lines all the time, they would drive over people just to get past the barricade

So you know how frustrating it is when people cross your picket line so I don't know why you're trying to cross the picket line

*Well aren't you supposed to boycott walmart as well

Amazon is the one we're currently boycotting because specifically it's prime days, 70% of their workers are on food stamps not to mention the experimental warehouses where people don't even get to interact with each other because that's supposedly a waste of time.

*How can I boycott everything all the time

They're asking for two days because they know you can't boycott every single company without just fucking dying

*How am I supposed to boycott everything

I just fucking said they're not asking you to boycott everything all the time, literally just two fucking days of Amazon

*When am I supposed to boycott tv, the news never mentions boycotts

The news you watch is a) on TV so it won't tell you when to boycott "TV" and b) is owned and paid for by companies that want to support Amazon getting away with their practices so that they can get away with it too. 60 companies paid 0% in taxes in 2018

*You talk about these workers suffering, I only made $3 an hour! Pulls out a check stub for roughly 241$ for a 58 hour work week in 1977

Okay so that's the total for the week with over time which is 1.5 the pay over 40 hours right, so I think Kirstyn makes 10.25x40= 410, and (10.25x1.5)x18= 276.75 + 410= 686.75 and Kirstyn doesn't make tips whereas your 241$ (or whatever the number was) counted for inflation equals 1146$, you made 1.7 times as much as Kirstyn does now, you don't still think people are suffering?

*Well I'm not seeing the numbers so

You can do it yourself

*Yeah I'll get around to it

I'm literally telling you the fucking numbers but you want to think I'm lying because you want to win? Is that it? You can't even remember I told you I was going to town today but sure you'll remember to fact check my numbers in a day or two or whenever the fuck you feel like it. The fact of the matter is, your money was worth more and ours less. Three doesn't mean three with inflation

*So where does the money go then?

CEO wages have risen by over 800% in the last however many years and minimum wage has only raised 17% in the same amount of years so it's going to the fucking CEOs. Face it you made more money back then than people are now

*Well I also didn't go out to eat or splurge or anything

You're assuming you know what people are doing with their money also shaming the poor into not partaking of the things that makes life worth living is actually fucking the worst thing you can do

*Well that's why I use Amazon is the buy things that makes life worth living

And I'm not telling you to give up Amazon all together!! Literally just two fucking days!!!!

*It's my choice whether this is right or wrong

It may be your choice whether or not to cross the picket line but that doesn't mean you get to decide whether it's right or wrong!! So one of your strikes 30 years ago sucked ass and you suffered, guess what, it was a different company, a different wage, and you aren't even working any more

*As if you know anything about strikes, you haven't worked a day in your life

Untrue also who better to learn about strikes from than the workers who are actively striking right the fuck now!!!!

[justcallmemav]

7/20/18

--------------------------

Pt.20

--------------------------

“You didn't get along with her, so this shouldn't be affecting you this bad.”

(She saw how you treated me and wanted to adopt me.)

“You trust people too easy, girl.”

( I had known him for 13 years. I built that trust. )

“You put yourself in this situation.”

( I didn't ask for it.)

“I never liked him anyways, trash grew legs and took itself out.”

(I loved him for five years.)

▪▪   ·I love you, mom. I'm sorry I couldn't be what you wanted me to be.

---

▪▪   ·I'm at work I'll message you when I'm off. Ly2.

---

▪▪   ·I could use a call right now.

---

▪▪  ·Can't talk right now, will call tomorrow. You'll be fine for a day.

--------------------------------------------------

▪  You're my best friend. I love you. I can't take it anymore.

---------

▪   I think this is it.

--------------------------------------------------

▪▪▪  Thank you for always loving me unconditionally. You're the greatest sister anyone could ask for. I love you. You're better off without me.

--------------------------------------------------

      You came to visit me two days after i was taken into the hospital on july 20th at 9 o'clock at night.

      I was drinking an excessive amount within the matter of two hours.

     Within the last few minutes of the second hour, I saw the walls of the world around me collapsing.

This is it.

I have nothing left.

     My mind wouldn't rest. I took a xanax but it didn't help ease my mind.

     It sure couldn't mend my broken heart.

                  This was the last time.

It didn't work before.

           It has to work now.

                          So I begged, and I cried.

I prayed to a God I wasn't even sure existed.

Please take me now.

        I want to come home.

                      I think I'm ready now.

JUST TAKE ME NOW. I AM READY. PLEASE FUCKING TAKE ME. I'M READY.

      I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I made the choice to give into my thoughts and my depression. I made the choice to finalize this shit I consider living. This existence. This truly was it. This is the end.

      I let my hands trace their way to my fate. To my drawer. Opening the pill bottle. Where the palm of my hand met my lips to fill my mouth with what I knew would make everything better soon. Next thing I know, my body was lured to the bottle of vodka as it stands at the end of the bed. I wrap my fingers tight around the neck of the bottle, lips to the glass. Down the hatch and into the rabbit hole I go. I feel my body spiral. Down...down...down...down…

                      Boom

                         So bitter.

                        Yet so good.

Was this the only way i could be happy again?

I will reach the numbness I yearn to undergo.

I've heard the rumors.

Does it seem as free as they say?

            Then along came the thump.

                       ALAS~

Nothingness.

Darkness. No voices, no pain, no criticism. Just the echoes of my heart beat.

Thump.. Thump….. Thump….

After what felt like days… the darkness fades steadily. The numbness dissolves like ice through my fingertips.

               Off in the distance I hear something. A cry? A car? A siren? A siren.

I struggle to come to consciousness.

                 I find it nearly impossible.

Then out of the blue, I hear a voice.

                A voice so faint and familiar.

After some time, I can open my eyes half way as I slip back into consciousness.

My vision is hazy. I managed to come to when I hear her voice.

“Cayley, there's some people here who need you to get up and come outside. They need to check on you.”

I see the pigments from the lights spinning on their vehicles, bouncing off of the brick walls on the outside of my home, but it's all blurry.

       I struggled to stand as I stepped through my threshold to go outside.

Who needs to talk to me? About what? Why?

I look up and see two policemen and a paramedic. I begin to hyperventilate.

“Is my dad okay?”

Ma'am, we received a call stating that you may be a harm to yourself, so I ask that you don't resist help. Are you able to follow us to the back of the ambulance, ma'am?

·I haven't done anything and I'm not a harm to myself.

·For your own safety we need to make sure that's true. We can't take risks, miss.

·I'm sorry, please ma'am let go of my arm, I don't need help. GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME I AM FINE.

I hear my father talking to the police officer but couldn't make out what they were saying over dad's coworker crying and all of the sounds around me. I panicked. I heard my dad speaking once more, only this time it was directed at me.

He asked me three things.

“CAYLEY BABY WHAT’D YOU DO?”

“WHAT DID YOU TAKE?”

My hearing began to fade slowly, as I focused on the ringing gradually developing in my head. I could ever so slightly hear the walkie talkies and daddys office keys jingling in his pocket. I heard Sues charm bracelet that she loves so much.

I felt my heartbeat through my chest, as if it was trying to escape. I feel my heart rate descend,  I look up to see what was around me. Everyone was there.

I saw my father crying and shaking.

 I saw his girlfriend crying.

    I saw my father's coworker crying.

          I was embarrassed.

Yet, too weak to care.

I muttered to the medic under my breath;

“I'm ready to go. Ma'am please take me.”

I collapse, but the woman was quick to catch me. She definitely had motherly instincts. Not even 2 seconds after i collapsed, I lose consciousness.

          I woke up in the back of an ambulance. I'm being hovered by two men with papers on clipboards and the medic who stopped me from busting my ass on concrete. They're bombarding me with questions and demands.

“Your oxygen levels are low, ma'am. I need you to inhale and exhale on ten. The oxygen being distributed through the tubes in your nostrils is a bit cold. Just a fair warning. Are you physically capable of removing your tunnels, lip piercing, your engagement ring, and whatever else pierced or on your person that could be a threat to yourself of me?”

“Do I have to take off my ring?”

“Yes ma'am, unfortunately it's code. We'll put it in this bag. It will stay unbothered. Please remove your piercings.”

Shortly after I began hyperventilating because I couldn't stop crying, and boom.

All consciousness was lost.

How could I harm anyone with a ring?

She should have been patient, anyways.

~Don't rush me.~

       You asked me why I did it. It took you two days, it took my father less than 60 seconds to get to me when he saw the ambulance at the door.

       You took 48 hours to muster the pride to visit me, and when you did, you showed no emotion at all. You hugged me that day and I felt no love.

        I was barely aware of what was going on, yet I somehow sensed tension coming from your end. As if you were forcing yourself to care when deep down you knew you didn't.

I felt like I was being smothered by a well maintained, ‘JLo Glo’ scented greeting mat.

          Even when I was much younger and you would stay in and drink, you'd hug me and I felt this giant strange force field of motherly love surrounding me, if that makes any sense. There was a step by step process of your home drunk persona and it went the same way every time.. but I'll get to that in a moment.

    Anyways, I'm still thankful you showed. Even two days late. You had me slightly convinced that you actually cared.

ALMOST. I was informed of the insensitive remarks you made to my father about me.  You really had the audacity to turn around and say I was wanting everyone to be worried about CAYLEY because ‘everything has to be about CAYLEY and CAYLEY was just looking for attention'.

         Like I didn't come home from school and take two steps through the threshold only to see you crying because you got dumped. You threatened to end your life. (Because you loved this man so much. The man you are with now. 9 years later. The man you use for money. Whom you cheat on)  Me and your biological daughter took you and admitted you.

         I felt like i betrayed you, but i needed you to be alive. For...whatever reason. I guess cos y'know.. a 12 year old needs a parent. You came home and the meds they gave you calmed you down, but you liked that too much. You quickly became dependent, actually you still are. You contradict yourself too often.

         Don't you remember what I have been put through..? By you, mostly. You were and still are so hypocritical that it makes me chuckle. Sigh- anyways, I couldn't fully comprehend anything you said during our visit. I couldn't gather the energy to move nor look at you, let alone reply to your bullshit motherhood quotes.

        You left when the time was up, two weeks go by in a blur still ever so slowly, and they transfer me. People were able to reach out to me. A handful of people I love and cherish which includes my sister, my father, his girlfriend... the woman who has been more of a mother to me than you ever were.

       It didn't take much time after me being in that God forsaken inpatient facility for me to be pulled aside by a nurse in a confidential manner. My brain threw around every possible reason as to why she was doing this.

--------------------------------------------------

Am I going home?

Are they moving me again?

What did I do wrong?

--------------------------------------------------

  ~ Nothing, stop with the assumptions~

    She informed me that I had received multiple calls from a woman saying she is my mother but she couldn't pass it through because another woman, who ALSO claimed to be my parent/caregiver, had requested that this number (she was giving me )go on a restricted no contact list. She handed me a sheet of paper with with a number on it. Buttttt, it wasn't yours. So I had no idea what was going on. Who's my caregiver? Did my sister put you on the no call list? Nope. It wasn't your number and you never do wrong, so you denied having anything to do with that whole thing. I decided to call the number while the addiction groups were in the other room. I had no reason to be there so I had time to meditate, draw, socialize, or find out who was on the other end of that phone line.

It's obvious what I chose.

It took a few tries until someone finally answered. When they did I felt like an idiot. How could I not know.

You hated her because of how hard she tried to see me and my siblings. You had so many hateful things to say about her, yet no validation. It made you angrier when you told us about her then made her out to be a bad guy and we still got in touch with her. You hated that, didn't you. You hated it because the truth was going to come out if we found her.

Lady, I met my real mother when i was 11 years old. That was the day my father bought my favorite hat… a black fedora with a blue stripe inside of a purple stripe in the middle (which I still own). I was wearing this black shirt with a red graphic design on the front and back that was WAY too baggy on me and a pair of cuffed blue jeans, I do believe. It's been eight years, I have great memory but I'm not special like that.

If it weren't for daddy, my sister, and my brother... I would've never known who she was. Well, when I finally got ahold of my biological mother on the phone the day after I received the number by the nurse… she was genuinely upset. She said one thing that will stick to my brain for the rest of my life.

“I lost you once I can't lose you again”

You won't have to.

[anettrolikova]

A day in my life really depends on what's happening. That said, usually I have themes. For instance, I have a priority list, and I have decision logs that chronicle all the things I am trying to figure out.

I end up trying to insert themes into my days. Like today, for instance, I have a meeting with my small team to begin the week; I reserved my afternoon for product reviews—what we call “greenpathing exercises”—where, oddly, I'm trying to discern how everyone is thinking about the main things we're working on. I do this because oftentimes I feel as though I am the connective tissue combining operations, finance, and more formal business functions with the product itself. This connection helps me to make good decisions.

A lot of this is almost automatic by just having a good color coding system, which is really fun

I made two decisions: one, I'm going to try to learn as much about business as possible. But, if business is very different from software architecture, I'm going to be no good no matter what I do. And so, I ran an experiment to treat engineering principles, software architecture, complex system design, and company building as the same thing. Effectively, we looked for the business equivalent of just turning off servers to see if the system has resiliency. For instance, we used to ask people to use their mouse on their non-dominant hand for a day. We introduced these little nudges to ensure that people didn’t become complacent.

I believe that the job we all have in life is to acquire knowledge and wisdom and then share it. I just don’t know what else there is. This is the bedrock of my belief system.

When I get close to any field, I think about how far I want to go. I'm probably further along with programming. I don’t know if I want to get from 90 to 91% in programming when, with the same amount of work, I could figure out the first 60 to 70% of UX or even something like drawing. There’s a recent book about this called Range, which I really like. The book pushes in this direction and explores this topic a bit more than I do. But I just found myself nodding throughout reading it, because it turns out that very often—really, every field has fundamental wisdom that you discover when you're learning and talking to the people who have mastered it. I find that going wide and learning the best lessons from the people who have dedicated their entire lives to a certain pursuit gets you really, really close to mastery.

people show up with a mastery of certain instruments. Someone ends up being the jazz director and the rest of the band follows

I've always gravitated towards competing against myself in most things.

I really love failing. I feel so good when I do something, and it just doesn't work; especially if I get the feedback about why it didn't work. That gives me a project to work at to improve. And so maybe that's sort of interesting regarding losses.

the major reason why video games are valuable is because of this concept of transfer learning. For instance, people who are good at chess understand when it's time to perform tactics, and when it's time to focus on positional development. Not just in chess, but also in life.

I have found it really, really useful to be able to reason about a relationship without getting egos involved too much. I can have a conversation with someone saying, “Hey, you made a commitment to ship this thing, and you did. That's awesome. That's a super big charge on the trust battery, but you’re actually late for every meeting. Even though that's relatively minor—like it decreases 0.1% on your battery—you should fix that.”

It plays a role like that. That said, it's not useful to talk about trust as a binary thing. People are quick to say, “You don't trust me!” And it's actually more, “Well, no, I trust you to a certain level, but you would like more trust; you want trust at a completely different level.”

if your cell phone is 80% charged, you're not worried about finding a charger. But when your phone in your pocket goes into low battery mode, you're thinking about your phone a lot. What people want to do in a company is get to the 80% or 100% level in the area that they run. You gain full autonomy this way. It’s a process that cannot be given to people by title or something like that.

The reason why it was the best thing for me is because it's almost the perfect counterfactual to how you should run a company. I honestly think that, you know, a coin flip has a batting average of 50%. If you just do the perfect opposite of literally everything about that place, you would probably clock in at 60 to 70% of getting everything right, which would mean you would outperform probably 90% of all companies in the world.

Among other things, almost every incentive system was just wrong. For instance, there was no way you would get a promotion or recognition if you weren't dressed in a suit or if you didn’t use slides in a particular way that resembled the legal profession.

It's infantilization because you literally have a policy about how to dress. If you have a policy on how to dress, that means you don't trust people to dress. It was a pretty stark experience.

We are building hopefully amazing software for absolutely amazing people, like people who are unbelievably brave and really adaptable. Society tries to talk people out of this, like no one wants other people to be successful building companies. Silicon Valley might have gotten to a level of enlightenment where company building is actually encouraged, but the rest of the world isn’t like this.

The learning curve of being a great executive is a lot less like learning the guitar, and a lot more like skydiving. It’s the kind of thing you should not do without an instructor. A coach is probably one of the highest returns on investment anyone can do with their attention. An hour spent with a coach has a 10x, 50x, 100x potential return on time spent.

Our strategy was to hire as many high potential people as we could and have them get to their potential much faster than they actually imagined was possible. Personal growth has no real speed limit. It's more dependent on how often a student is ready, and that often depends on the environment and the norms of a culture around the student. For instance, how often is the teacher appearing when the student is ready? If you can line this up at a fairly high hit rate, then people can go through nearly ten years of career development within a single calendar year. I know the 10x thing is overplayed now, but I have absolutely seen it.

Hey, the reason why you've got this job is not because of everything you know, but because you seem like the kind of person who can figure it out when you need to know something.” That's very basic but also very liberating.

One thing that really makes it work is that we are just extremely different. Almost the only overlap we have is in how much we care about the mission of this company. Outside of that, his skill set is extremely different; his input is extremely different; his life experience is very different. It's very intuitive for us when to go with one of our ideas because this is what a relationship with a 100% trust battery looks like.

I had the source code for Linux, I signed up for the Linux kernel mailing list, and I listened to how they talked about computer architecture. I then spent all my time trying to figure out what these terms meant.

The meaningful thing about this story is that it points at a fallacy. The other important thing is it implies that people in groups end up really cancelling each other's good parts and exposing one another's downsides.

why are technical founders overperforming the market right now? I don't actually think it's because they're technical. I think it's because of a very specific childhood experience that a lot of the people running technology companies have had. Most of us grew up in a world which we knew would change significantly because it was really badly designed given what we knew about the potential coming soon. And this potential coming soon was the march of computers and digitalization. I think that a lot of us, including myself, have leveraged this insight into significant enterprise value.

Norman gave permission to really hate the door instead of hating yourself when you push it instead of pulling it. That is not your fault. No human has ever been at fault for pushing instead of pulling. That has always been the fault of the people who designed the door.

People who learn how to think about how to do things in their environment better, and to understand that the objects in their everyday life have not been designed or created by people who are smarter than they are—they are the people who will become entrepreneurs.

[robotslenderman]

OK I'm off the bus now --

SO BASICALLY

I've always had problems with energy crashes, even when my iron levels are up. And now I'm working full time it's become really, really obvious just how bad it is.

So today I was poking around the internet talking to Redditors when I had a few minutes here and there and asking them how they handle the afternoon crash without resorting to coffee...

... aaaand the internet went, "Uh, that's not normal. Unless you're eating a lot of sugar or drinking a lot of coffee, that is not normal."

I do not drink coffee because I'm already on a stimulant and am ridiculously sensitive to coffee even without it, and my sleep is shit enough.

I do not eat much sugar. I seriously cut down on it in 2016* and have not really gone back, I don't even eat refined carbs unless there isn't a wholegrain/brown version available. I hate white bread, it's too fluffy. If I'm buying a sandwich for lunch it's always white bread because there's rarely brown bread available, but if I can get wholegrain or brown bread, I will. Same with rice; if I can get brown rice, I always go for brown, but I'll eat white rice if it's all that's available (which it often is when eating out).

* ASK ME ABOUT SUGAR ADDICTION SOMETIME. I found it harder to cut out sugar than to cut out alcohol or caffeine. Not to say that sugar addiction is as damaging as alcohol addiction (it will fuck your life up way less), it's not, but holy shit kicking a sugar addiction is no joke. at all. it really, really isn't.

Like. The one exception is Shapes. I'm a slut for Shapes. I might also have some CCs from time to time but... I'm not a big chips person either. Not fond of potatoes.

So basically from everything I'm reading, I should not be crashing this hard. Or at all. But I do. 60-120 minutes after I've last eaten, I'm exhausted.

And the thing is? As soon as I eat something, I perk right up. Like, less than five minutes later, it's almost instant, and if I eat enough I go from falling asleep in my chair with my ADHD going batshit to perky, happy and energetic. Today I finally figured out the amount of food I need to eat and what I need to eat to be able to perk back up.

Every day at work I go through reports. Yesterday, I was fighting this hard -- I was having snacks frequently (but not enough, and not the right kind of snacks) so I was pretty much in a terrible state from 2 hours into my shift onwards.

Today I was operating on 2-3 hours of sleep.

I still got more reports done today, and functioned way better today, than I did yesterday. Because today I finally figured out what foods I needed to snack on, how much, and how often.

(Incidentally, last time I was at uni, I went vegan for a week. I did not get nearly enough protein, I relied heavily on carbs. I was so fucked from the experience it took two weeks of eating meat again before I was back to my normal energy levels. As someone with ADHD I need more protein than most people, and I'm so reliant on getting it from meat that I drastically neglected it. If I ever try veganism again I'm definitely doing a lot of research into vegan protein sources and laying them on. I also tried to go dairy-free when I came home, but that also didn't last; cheese is one of the best foods my ADHD responds to. Cheese and beans. And fuck baked beans, seriously.)

But like. I need to eat a lot of protein for my blood sugar levels to cooperate. If I eat carbs I don't perk up nearly as much, and for not as long.

So I've been looking at foods that are good for reactive hypoglycaemics and Sunday I'll be doing some food shopping and meal prep. Lots of nuts, cheese and chicken. I'll be packing a ton of food bc I just. eat a lot. I've always been a grazer, I eat small meals but a lot of them. And since I've gone on the Zyban my appetite hasn't exactly come back, but when I need to eat I can eat, so it makes a huge difference.

What’s the opposite of diabetes

Bc after doing some research today and mulling over my experiences I’m pretty sure I’m whatever that is

[toomanysubjectstudyblr-blog]

Hiya 😁 I really want to be more productive and start doing better in school, taking better notes, studying better, etc. but honestly I'm the most unmotivated person ever and I don't want studying/school to take up my whole life. However, I'm in high school next year which means I really have to try hard. ☹️ What things can I do to be more productive and be better at school? Is there steps I can do to build up to getting into a normal routine rather than changing it all right now? Thanks 🤔

Hello! (Sometimes I get carried away and talk too much — most times? — anyways, there is this thing about motivation and my personal view on it and below it there is a bulleted list with actual tips. I wrote it all for a reason, so I’d recommend for you to read it all? Oops!)

Structure of it all (under the cut): Introduction // Part I - Components of the Routine // Part II - Productivity // Part III - The Routine Itself // Part IV - Whatever Else That Needs To Be Said 

PS: It ended up much longer than what I expected? Hope it’s not a problem…

PSS: If anyone knows the sources to any of those things that I mention I saw somewhere on tumblr, please let me know to put it here, thank you!

I didn’t mean to star this harsh on anything but it might be taken — mistakenly — such as… Hm, I’ve seen this quote around my dashboard sometime in the past few days and I couldn’t deny that it had a lot of reason within it — I don’t have exact source right now, but it goes something like: motivation gets you nowhere, discipline does (also don’t know who to credit for, sorry). 

Yes, motivation makes everything easier in some ways, but it’s definitely not everything. With motivation and no discipline you’ll barely accomplish anything. On the other hand, if what you lack is motivation then you can accomplish great deals with discipline. 

 Like I said, this isn’t supposed to be a harsh message — its purpose was to give some hope. You don’t need to be the most motivated person ever to accomplish your goals, you need to have them set clearly (even if they change every few days) and a lot of discipline. Motivation would help? Yes, of course it would. But, don’t worry about it, when you’ve broken the starting inertia, have your goals defined and start seeing progress and getting closer to them, this is the kind of feeling I like to call motivation. 

 For me, motivation doesn’t come first. Motivation is build up on objectives and goals, it is shaped by the path that takes you to your final destination, it keeps growing bigger and stronger the closer you get, the cleaner you see the next steps you need to take, the more possible and close to your reality it all seems. Being motivated is a process — that is acquired during a much longer process, one that requires discipline — through the path that takes you to your goals.

PART I — The Parts of The Routine

 Ok, I suck at giving titles but this is basically about what will be a part of your routine (let’s leave how to arrange this for later). Just to show that it doesn’t have to have only school related stuff and that a normal routine can be pretty productive.

Good news: studying/school doesn’t have to take up your whole life, neither it should. First off, overdosing yourself with mental work (studying, for example) will kill an expressive amount of your productivity and in a long term (combined with not varying your activities) it might cause you a burnout (what will kill of most of your productivity). So…

Allow yourself some “me-time” — in this context I mean time spent doing absolutely nothing, thinking about life, thinking about nothing, not actually doing anything — in a regular basis, but don’t let it rule. What do I mean by that? Well, physics tells us that breaking inertia is equally hard one way or another — starting movement or quitting it — but, this is only true in vacuum, with no friction. Seems to me that working and trying to be productive is the activity with the most friction ever, seriously. Ok, let’s quit talking about physics — I don’t even know why I started, tbh. What I mean is: starting to work and to be productive is extremely hard, on the other hand, letting it all go to hell is so easy. Allow yourself “me-time” but limit it, otherwise it will easily take over and start the no-productivity world domination — the little voice of “it’s better to let it go and not do anything for a while, just a little bit more, you don’t need to get back right now, you have plenty time to do what you have to do later, let’s just do nothing a little longer, just give up already” can be pretty convincing. Trust me. Respect yourself and your timing but don’t abuse, don’t make excuses — or at least, don’t listen to the excuses you make.

Hobbies. Save some time on the week for your hobbies, go to classes or courses about it, practice on your own, I don’t know… Just spend some time doing something you love. The difference between doing some activity you love from outside school and doing nothing? Even if it has absolutely nothing to do with academics, by practicing a hobby you will be productive, you’ll be developing skills, getting to know yourself better, enjoying your time and not being idle (not lazy, idle).

Free time. Another important thing to keep space for in your week is some free time, doing some activity — so it’s not “me-time” — that doesn’t really develop a skill — depending on your hobbies they might, but usually they don’t. Save some time to read, watch netflix, watch a movie, television, surf on the internet, check social media, do something random you choose to do.

Spend time with people/Go out. Go out with your friends, go to parties, go to the movies, the theater, go shopping (but please be reasonable with your spendings), bring people home… Idk, there are many possibilities. Being social seems to boost extroverts’ energy, if you are introvert do what you feel up to (it can be just a few people — or one—, in quiet places). You can also not spend time with people — sort of — just go have a walk on your own, animals can be great company as well, do some people watching somewhere, once again, there are many possibilities.

Study. Seems to me like this is actually your goal, the objective of this ask. Yes, it plays an important role in our society and, since you’ll be starting high school soon, it gets you into a college (if that’s what you want, we’ll get to that later). Yes, since it’s the whole purpose of this, you have to save some time to study… I don’t think I have to explain why.  

Part II — ProductivityHow to make your work be effective? Simply tips to be more productive, as well as time management — this is important, trust me.  

The Pomodoro Technic: there are many apps to help you with that, just search for “pomodoro” and you’ll be filled up with lots of options, just choose one. The basics of this is working for 25 minutes and then take a 5 minute break, after a few cycles (usually four) you take a longer break — around 15 minutes.

The 60/20 Technic: Basically the same thing as the above, but the cycles are made of one hour of work and twenty minutes breaks between them. I’ve never really seen any apps for this but you can still count on your own, everything is not lost.

There is also this one that says that you should work during 90 minutes sessions with a 20 minute break cycles, it’s said to be based on the ultradian rhythm — it seems like it the body rhythm through the day.

Discipline. Yeah, we got back there… Whatever routine you choose to follow, keep up with it — that doesn’t mean you can’t change your mind later on. Don’t give up. Doing things randomly is dangerous — not that it never works — it gives you not consistency and doesn’t make any habits. Habits are powerful, it takes around 21 days to form them and 66 to become automatic — take it into account while making your routine and struggling to start it, in a few days it’ll be just the natural thing to do. Thank you google. 

Find out what type of learner you are. There are visual learners, kinesthetic learners, auditory learners, among other categories. Each type gets along better with different kinds of study techniques, use the ones recommended for you type(s) instead of insisting in what is conventional but might not be fit to the way your brain processes it all. Here are some links to tests and technics.

Cut distractions. At least while you’re working, try to keep your phone and internet away, they are truly a temptation and totally mess up with your productivity. Set up a study space that helps you concentrate.

Set priorities. There are really nice tables of priorities — the time square or something — around Tumblr, here is a good post that talks about it as week as many other useful things.

The five minute rule (is that how it’s called?). Once again, I saw it somewhere in Tumblr, no credit for me, but I don’t know where it comes from to put a source here. Basically, you should do all the tasks that will take you 5 minutes, at most. Knowing that each of them will not take that long to finish, you’ll be more willing to start and probably accomplish a lot.

At school itself: if you have the possibility of choosing your subjects, choose the ones that you care/are passionate about. What if there is nothing? Pick something close to your interests, or something that is the path to something that you actually like. It’s easier to get motivated if you’re studying about what you’re interested in.

Part III — The Routine Itself

Balance it all, the way it feels better for you. I’ll leave it up for you to do, since you said that you want a “normal routine”, but I’m going to give some suggestions about the studying time.

Do a bit everyday. It seems like most of this part will be explained on this topic. Anyways, revise your materials the same day (rewrite your notes, read the textbook if you haven’t already, do some exercises, watch video classes, sum everything up). Do your homework the day you get it, as much as you can, this way you won’t have a bunch of stuff to do the day before.

Revise. Revise. Revise. It will take you least time every time you do it, first revision might take you half an hour, the second maybe half of the time, the next? possibly five minutes. Let’s say you get home and rewrite your notes the same day, the next day you define the important topics, the next you sum everything up, the other you make a flash card and from there on you just have to read a tiny piece of paper. This way you’ll fix the content in your mind and won’t have to kill yourself studying the days before the exam.

Visit the material before the class, if possible. It’ll save you some work afterwards, trust me. Even if you just run through it, not giving all you can, you at least know in what ground you’ll be during class. Reading the titles and defining the topics covered is already something, it helps.

Practice. Do exercises to test your knowledge, this way you’ll know where to focus instead of trying to study everything at once for the exam. Besides, practice makes perfect, right?

How much time to save each day? That’s up to you, balance all the activities in a way that doesn’t get you overwhelmed, make it comfortable. You can also have different approaches for different classes, so you don’t have to save the same amount of time for every subject. A good shoot for me, personally, would be two hours of diary study and a bit more on the weekends around 3 or 4 hours, but this is just what worked best for me, just an option.

Part IV - Whatever Else Needs to Be Said

Those are just suggestions and they are pretty general, I’d recommend you to adapt it to your own needs, wants and reality. Also, somethings might seem pretty simple at a first glance but turn out hard when you actually get to do it, take your time.

Don’t give up, it takes time. You can make a gradual change in your routine if it looks like too much, or even just take part of it, something is more than nothing. Also, you don’t have to wait until next year to start adapting yourself to the new lifestyle you want to have.

Remember, I know our society puts a lot of importance in academics, it might seem like an academic career is the only path to follow but remember that it isn’t the right choice for everyone — even if the pressure from everyone around you tells you the opposite. This is just me talking, before making any decision consider your environment and your family — sometimes it can be pretty hard, I know.

If you fall out of track, just know that it’s never too late to do what’s right for you, ok?

Find study buddies to help you keep in track and be the motivation you might lack sometimes.

Everyone is its own individual, there are certain ways of doing stuff that are so normalized that seem like it’s the only option available. When the patterns doesn’t fit to our beings, our function, when it’s not the best option for us individually, it feels like we can’t fit and it sorta kills out our motivation. This is just a friendly reminder that there are a bunch of ways to do the same thing and none are the right choice as well as none is the wrong one, do what’s best for you.

I hope it helped, if you need anything else just let me know and I’ll do what I can to help. Anything at all.