#i'm not dead and i still care about poetry i promise

[moonchildstyles]

hiii i was wondering if you would write a blurb about vamp h taking care of a drunk y/n lol i think it’d be awfully cute omg or a girls night out (+ one vampire) and he’s like trailing after her trying to keep her out of trouble

wordcount: 3.9k+

—————

"Darling, are you certain you are not going to be cold?" 

Twisting and turning in the mirror, her dress ruched over her body in tight folds, it took all of (Y/N)'s effort to keep her smile at bay. "I'm sure I'll be fine, H. It's not that cold out, and we won't be spending much time outside anyway." 

It was clear he still wasn't pleased at her answer with the way he folded his arms across his chest and set his mouth in a grim line. (Y/N) had to bite back her smile lest he see her amusement from where he was leaning against the doorframe to her closet. He hadn't moved much from where he'd started the night watching her try on practically every outfit she had stuffed into both their wardrobe and closet. 

She could feel his eyes on her as she smoothed her dress over her thighs, pulling down the hem another inch before ruching it back up. Counting down in her head, she had to keep herself from laughing when he followed the same pattern he'd curated for the past ten minutes.

"What if you fall ill? Or the weather changes while we're out? Y'could freeze before I have a chance to warm you."

This time, she couldn't stop the laugh from falling from her lips. She stopped her assessment in the mirror, turning to Harry with her amusement clear on her features and a cant of her head.

"H, c'mon."

His own expression tightened, his stubborn streak peeking out. "Come on, what?"

Stepping towards him on bare feet, (Y/N) peered up at him. "I know you think humans can't handle anything, but, honestly, do you really think it's that easy for me to get sick or freeze to death?"

They both knew well that Harry had done his share of research when it came to anything human. Especially after bonding and ensuring (Y/N) wanted to be at his side for their forever, he'd deep dived into anything and everything human to refresh his knowledge and become the most perfect beloved he could be—including knowing just how to take care of her. He knew better than to assume she would drop dead after a gust of wind. 

Despite the stubborn line of his jaw, he relented, "No." 

"Then, why are you so nervous about tonight?" she crooned, wrapping her arms around his middle with her chin set on his chest. 

His palms ghosted down her back, leaving a chilled trail just barely felt through the fabric of her dress, until he stopped at the bottom of her spine. His touch was delicate. She could see the whole of him softening the longer she looked up at him. 

"You know I worry about you," he murmured, "Anything is possible when it comes to humans. I dread testing the limits when it comes to you." 

As much as she teased him and found his concern over something as simple as a breeze something to laugh over, the root of it all was something that had her softening. It was hard not to hear his words and grow tender. 

"I promise I'm going to be okay, Harry," she told him, "I'm going to bring a jacket, and you're meeting us after dinner, anyway. If I feel like I need more than my jacket I can text you and let you know." 

Though she knew he would never be one hundred percent pleased with her answer unless it was her layering up with all dangers padlocked away from her, this seemed to be enough for him as he sucked in an unnecessary breath. 

"I suppose that will work," he sighed, overdramatic as always, "You are rather strong." 

Stretching to the tips of her toes, (Y/N) pecked a quick kiss to the soft of Harry's lip. "I promise I'll be okay. Thank you for worrying about me, though." 

He chased after her when she pulled away, craning his neck to steal one more kiss before she landed on the flat of her feet once more. "'S a privilege, m'love." 

It was poetry like that that almost had her agreeing to wrap up in layers and layers complete with a shell of bubble wrap before she left the house. 

————— 

Harry couldn't keep the frown from his face as he parked across the street from the nightclub he was meeting (Y/N) and her friends at. He'd never been to an establishment like this before (minus blood clubs but that was an entirely different concept that appealed to his more baser needs, so it didn't count), and, judging by the specimens he could see pouring in and out, he would have liked to keep it that way.

But, this was where (Y/N) had asked him to meet her and there was no way he was going to let her down. 

He was just going to have to hold his breath, he decided. Before setting foot inside, he was sure he would not be a fan of the scents perfuming the building. 

It would only be a few hours, he reminded himself as he stepped out of his car. Hours like this were a minute compared to the eternity of his existence. He could handle tonight without a doubt.

The slight breeze in the air (he didn't even want to think about (Y/N)'s bare legs enduring this wind) pushed open the unbuttoned lapels of his shirt. He hadn't been sure what he should wear for the night, but he took some cues from (Y/N)'s dress and heels when he decided to pull a shimmering satin piece from the wardrobe and fitted black trousers. Looking at the young men walking in and stumbling out of the nightclub, he wondered if they were underdressed or if he was overdressed. 

That concern didn't last long, though, pushed aside once he heard a familiar peal of laughter pouring out of the swinging door of the nightclub. What he was wearing was pushed to the back of his mind then, his priority shifting. He needed to get inside and ensure (Y/N) was alright just like she had promised. 

Making it to the entrance of the nightclub, Harry was stopped by a man tucked away in a cubby by the door. He was dressed in all black, a bored expression on his face when Harry approached. 

"Hey, how are you?" the man asked, barely looking at Harry as he spoke. 

A furrow pinched Harry's brow. "I am well, thank you." 

At his abrupt tone, the man finally chanced a look at Harry. He lingered for only a moment on his stern expression before seemingly shaking it off. "That's great, man. Can I see your ID?" 

The man set his hand out, palm up in expectation. The knit in Harry's brows tightened that much more at the ask. This never happened at the blood clubs from what he could remember; why did it matter who he was before stepping inside? 

Nonetheless, he pulled out the (forged) ID out of his wallet, passing it off to the man with a quick flash of his hand. The man barely glanced at the piece of plastic before he flicked his eyes back up to Harry with a slight smile curling his lips. 

"So, you're Harry," the man pointed out, passing back Harry's ID. 

Pocketing it, Harry wasn't sure what this man was trying to get at, but answered him nonetheless, "Yes. That's me. Why?" 

The man shook his head, a small laugh falling from his lips before he stepped away from the door. "Nothing. Your girlfriend just made sure to let everyone know you were coming tonight. She'll be excited to see you."

Mumbling a thank you to the man, Harry stepped around him and entered the nightclub. While it was a sweet thought that (Y/N) had boasted about him to the nightclub staff, he wasn't sure why she would go through all of the trouble. It wasn't like her to bubble off to strangers. 

The lights were off, leaving the bar lining the back of the space with only a dim glow for the tenders to work by. The main floor, full of people dancing (at least that's what he thought that was what they were doing. Harry couldn't be sure, and he truthfully didn't want to look close enough to find out) was the darkest space with only pumping strobes and multicolored spotlights to be the only guides. Here and there were tall tables stationed by the bar and rounded booths tucked into the walls, no seat left unclaimed despite the busy dance floor. Scanning his eyes over the packed bodies, Harry searched for a familiar dress or the peak of a familiar scent, hoping to find (Y/N) somewhere. 

His hunt didn't take long, finding (Y/N) with a few other girls he was familiar with only through photos on the far edge of the dancing crowd. He was only able to catch a view of her profile, where she had a lazy smile on her lips and her lashes sitting half lidded over her eyes. There was a cup in her hand, the neon liquid almost empty between shards of ice, though she still managed to slosh it almost to the edge with every uncoordinated sway of her body. 

Harry didn't waste any time before he was meandering his way through the throng of bodies, keeping his breath stilted so as to not bother his senses with the scent of so many others that were not his beloved. It was bad enough he felt the heat of their bodies and the unnecessary brushes against him, he didn't want anything more from him to invade his senses. 

Just as he hit the edges of their little group, (Y/N) stumbled on her heels, her features falling. In a rush, Harry was at her side, saving her balance and settling her back on her feet. A bewildered expression crossed her face, one he was sure matched her friends who all had eyes on him as well. Though the second she recognized his chilled touch and the familiar hands wrapped around her arms, she loosened back into her oblivious state. 

"Harry!" she cheered, completely forgetting about her almost finished drink when she twirled on her feet and threw her arms around his shoulders, "You're here!" 

His bunched muscles finally relaxed, allowing him to reciprocate her hug. Dipping his head down, his cheek pressed to hers with his lips by her ear, he murmured, "'M here, love. Are y'alright?" 

"Yeah, why?" she bubbled, seemingly having wiped the stumble right out of her mind already.

It didn't take Harry's extra senses to notice the vodka on her breath, though he was sure he was the only one that could notice the sharp edge added to her scent from the alcohol. With how saturated it was, she hadn't just started her night at the club. That would at least explain why she had made sure to alert the man out front that her boyfriend (a silly title, but cute nonetheless) was on his way.

"No reason," he smiled, dropping his hands to sit on her waist, "Are y'having fun?" 

"I am! I'm so happy you're here now! I've been telling everyone that you were coming, and now you're here!" 

The glaze over her eyes was enough to draw Harry in, his lips curling into an amused smile. He'd never seen her anything past a bit tipsy. Drunk (Y/N) was a person he'd never met before.

Before he had a chance to offer any kind of response, using a surprising amount of her strength given her state, she pulled him along before presenting him to her friends. 

"Guys!" she bubbled, catching the attention of the rest of the women, "Look who's here!" 

One of the women looked decidedly more sober than the rest, though Harry could smell a tint of alcohol on her as well. She was the first to step forward, giving a small smile. 

"Harry, right?" she said, the ends of her short blonde hair dusting her collarbones, "(Y/N)'s been so excited to see you tonight." 

"As I've learned," he laughed, offering a hand out for her to shake, "And you are?" 

"Oh, I'm Charlotte! It's nice to meet you!" 

At that, the surrounding group made their own introductions with (Y/N) clinging to his side. He dedicated each name to memory, hoping that would help him pass the test that he was surely going through that night. Meeting her friends had been foiled before with the changes in weather keeping him stuck inside, or his insistence that (Y/N) live her life outside of him lest she feel trapped in the manor at his side. Tonight had been the first time everything had fallen into place: a girls' night with an open invitation after dinner. 

Shifting his arm around her shoulders, Harry pulled (Y/N) to his side as he guided her out of the way of those still dancing behind them. His features set pleasantly neutral, he looked towards Charlotte first. 

"(Y/N) told me your significant others might also be joining us tonight," he drawled, his version of asking of their whereabouts as he seemed to be the only boyfriend having shown up so far. 

"I'm not sure, actually," Charlotte mused, the evidence of her own drinking beginning to show. "I know my boyfriend will be here to pick me up later, but I haven't really heard anything about the other girls’. It might just be you, if that's okay." 

Feeling eyes on him, Harry glanced down at his side to see (Y/N) still gazing up at him with a dreamy smile on her lips. He hoped he didn't come off as rude when the sight distracted him as Charlotte spoke, taking a beat to reciprocate her look and keep her snug to his side. 

"I am okay with that. I hope 'm not intruding on your night then," Harry charmed, shooting his gaze around the room in search of a vacant booth or barstool, "Perhaps, I can find a free spot and let you all have fun without me interrupting." 

"No," (Y/N) piped up, "You have to stay with us now! I don't want you to go."

Her words are slightly slurred but her passion was clear enough. He didn't bother to look at what the rest of the women had to say, only worrying about  keeping the smile on his beloved face. "Okay, then I will stay, love. I will still try to find a table, though, so y'can sit with me for a little."

She was more than quelled by his answer, her body pliant against his own as if she were already ready for him to drag her wherever he wanted. 

"I don't know if anything is going to be open," Charlotte interjected, having heard his proposal over the music, "I've been hoping someone would move, but they've all been taken since we got here." 

"I'm sure I can make something work," Harry smiled, already spotting a booth he would prefer over the others, "We'll be right back." 

As soon as Harry stepped out of the small circle formed by their group with (Y/N) on his arm, it was closed up once more, though he could feel eyes pasted to his back watching where they went. Aware of her stumbling steps at his side, Harry took it slow as he escorted her towards a booth situated in the back corner, just out of view of the others. 

"I think people have—hic—they're already sitting there, H," (Y/N) murmured. 

"'S alright," he answered, tightening his hold on her hand, "I think they're about to leave." 

He didn't waste any time in reaching the group, a charming smile on his lips when he picked out the leader. An underdressed (in Harry's opinion) blonde man with a drink in hand seemed to be the center of attention, the first one to acknowledge Harry approaching. 

Before he could utter any kind of greeting, Harry took over the situation. "Hello," he smiled, "M'girlfriend and her friends would like to sit here, please." 

The man looked bewildered for a moment, unable to meet Harry's eyes. "Um—I'm sorry, but—" 

"No need to be sorry," Harry cut him off, voice taking on a quality he didn't utilize very often, but this was a special occasion, "You can find another space. Right?" 

As soon as the man met his eyes, Harry could tell the effects he wanted were taking place. It was all within the span of a heartbeat that this man took Harry's words as his own idea and nodded his head. 

"Yeah, we can find another spot," he relented, a faux cheer to his voice as he beckoned his friends to follow him out, "C'mon, guys, let's try the bar." 

There were a few questioning glances thrown to both the man as well as Harry, but no one questioned. Instead they only murmured amongst themselves as they followed their leader towards the bartop. As he led her into the now free vinyl seating, (Y/N) was one of the few that had a question in her eyes and pinch in her brows. 

"How did you do that?" she asked, her voice low under the music but still audible to Harry's ears, "Is that a vampire thing?" 

A breath of laughter fell from his lips at her words. "A little bit, yes. I don't like to do it often, but I want to make sure y'have somewhere to sit and relax while I get y'some water." 

"You're getting me water?" she questioned, thoroughly distracted at his new offer as if she didn't have a cup of half melted ice in her hand. 

"Mhm," he hummed, releasing her hand once she had tucked herself into the corner of the booth, "After I grab your friends, 'm getting y'some water before y'have any more fun." 

With the way she was looking at him, he would have figured he had proposed and offered diamonds and jewels to her, and not just a glass of water from the bar. This night was already going better than he'd thought. 

—————

"Did you guys know that Harry's a painter?! Like, he does huge murals and things all over the house! He's amazing." 

Only Charlotte seemed to catch (Y/N) words—the same declaration she had cheered about only ten minutes prior. She and Harry exchanged a small glance while the rest of the table treated this as new information. 

It'd been a long time since Harry had drank, and even longer since he'd been intoxicated to (Y/N)'s degree. Was short term memory something that was now lost when mixed with spirits, or was that just her? 

"Do you really?!" one of (Y/N)'s friends (Cecilia, maybe?) bubbled, her cup of ice water cradled in her hands as she leant over the table with wide eyes, "What kind of stuff do you paint?" 

"A little bit of everything," Harry answered, just as he had the last time a similar question was posed, "M'style has changed a lot over the last year or so. I can show you all some time if you'd like—'m sure (Y/N) would love to have you over to the manor." 

Even Charlotte perked up at this offer, looking to (Y/N) for confirmation. "That would be so much fun, (Y/N)! We could do that the next time we get together!" 

At that, Harry sat back while the chattering arose amongst the group. Under the table, his hand rested on (Y/N)'s thigh, the warmth of her skin anchoring him through the pumping music, strobing lights, and unfamiliar smells surrounding him. As much as he was aiming to leave a good first impression on her friends, he was still very much out of his element in the nightclub. He hoped (Y/N) would call for him to take her home sooner rather than later. 

As if she knew he had her on his mind, (Y/N) leant into his side, looking up at him with a toothy grin and affectionate eyes. The chattering was going strong on the other side of the table, the conversation sounding as if the women were making plans for their next outing together—one that would take place at the manor with bottles of wine and movies. 

"You'd really be alright with everyone coming over?" (Y/N) asked, moony eyes trained on his face. 

"Of course," he answered, a smile landing on his face on instinct, "It is your home too, petal. Y'can have your friends over as well—'s not jus' Mitch and Niall that are allowed over."

She curled into his side, her thigh under the table practically draped over his own. "Do you think Sarah would want to hang out with us?" 

The thought of Sarah playing around with a bunch of human girls was more amusing than he thought it would be. He wondered if that was how she and Mitch felt when they realized he was courting a human girl. 

"She might," he told her, keeping his amusement to himself, "I can ask for you." 

In an impossible feat, (Y/N) looked that much more in love with him at his offer. As much as he missed her regular scent without the sticky edge of alcohol, he did like just how tender she became—adoring his every and any move. 

"That would be so nice, H. Thank you," she told him earnestly, her hand coming to rest on his middle with his shirt in her grip, "You're the best ever, you know that?" 

"I have been told as much a few times." All by her, but that was a detail that he would leave out for the moment.

"Well," she pouted, "It's true. I'm so happy you came tonight. I think the girls really like you, too." 

"Yeah?" he smiled, hoping it was more than just her drunken tongue making the claim. 

"Mhm," she hummed, stretching to rest her head on his shoulder with a squeeze of her hand over his shoulder, "You're better than all of their boyfriends." 

At that, Harry couldn't help but to release the laugh building in his chest. While he understood the sentiment, that wasn't quite the impact he was going for. 

"You think so?" Harry questioned, unable to wipe his amusement from his voice. 

(Y/N) didn't seem to notice—or, most likely, care—responding with a definitive nod. "I know so." 

Another breathy laugh left his lips as he ducked his head, burying his nose in her hair. From the corner of his eye, he spotted Charlotte glancing their way; an adoring smile tugged at the corner of her mouth when she saw the way her friend clung to him. 

Taking in a lungful of (Y/N)'s scent, Harry decided that nightclubs weren't so bad. 

At least when (Y/N) was there.  

“Wait, (Y/N),” Cecilia babbled, a look of urgency on her face, “You said he cooks, right? You cook right?” 

Her attention was splashed over Harry then, forcing him to draw away from (Y/N)’s hair. Clearing his throat under the music, he nodded his head. “I do, yes.” 

A squeal fell from her lips with her companions being just as excited. “Would you make us food when we come over? (Y/N) says you’re so good!” 

Just as (Y/N) perked up at his side, turning her wide eyes on him, Harry stifled his own laugh. God, how he wished he had been a fly on the wall while she apparently spouted off all these facts about him—the ones reserved for her. 

“If you’d like.”

Just as he expected, more noise erupted from the table.

—————

thank u sm for reading, sorry for any mistakes, and please send in any fun ideas or requests you have!!

[inkskinned]

something that stuck with me once, way back in middle school when i was still learning how to write - my teacher said "writing shock and tragedy is easy, it's humor that's the hardest."

i have been up and down the halls of academia. i have the fancy degree and the experience in publishing. i think i paved most of my own road with the little bricks of sorrow i had stored inside of me. i know i did it mostly with works that are blisteringly lonely. i know why we write like that. it's lifesaving.

but yeah, i mean. i also know how much people think that "sad" media is the same thing as "good" media. our human desire to connect is so hard-pressed that we immediately latch onto any broken themes. the bullied kids and the tales of inspiration. people keep saying things like "glass onion" and "everything everywhere" weren't actually good. because, you know, they're. happy. or happy-ish. happy enough. and we only value art if it's grimdark-adjacent.

do you know - people still consistently whine at me that my writing would be so good if i just capitalized things. i used to flinch. i get kind of a weird, vindictive little rush these days - i get to say thank you for the comment! i have chronic pain and this is how i conserve my hands so i can write more during the day :) grammar isn't real anyway! and now they're trapped in the room with me, you know? i get to pull out my map and show them how grammar is not the same thing as good writing.

writers have this thing. we scratch at our insides, constantly, prying our lives apart into splinters. prying the splinters apart into atoms. when we combust something into poetry, we control it. it cannot hurt us if it exists outside of us rather than burning a hole through the bottom of our lungs. it's not a wonder to me that so much of what i make comes out like a death gasp. i spent a long time at the bottom. i keep going back, too. when you're down there for so long, the only thing you can exhale is fumes.

but humor is hard. humor needs timing; which i can't promise in a paragraph. i can kind-of force it through careful spacing, but i have no idea how fast you're reading these things. humor needs a somewhat awareness of your audience, when really - anybody could be looking. humor needs us to understand what the joke is, why it's a joke, and to think - ha! that is funny. in tragedy, everyone understands the metaphor of a kicked puppy. in humor, you need to introduce them to the concept of a dog.

and forget about positivity. forget about anything not made for adults explicitly. every time i see a well-made children's media piece, i feel fucking horrible for the creators. most of the time, people see children's media as being sort of "not worth" applause, even though i'm pretty sure they have to work twice as hard. i have no idea how hard it must be to not be able to have your character just say. "well, fuck." something about a message of peace or friendship or caring - for some reason, that makes the media not for adults. like, okay. i'm pretty sure my father actually, out of all of us, could use a good book on how to control his temper and talk about his feelings.

but whatever. i write a short story about my ocd, and how it's fucking killing me. it gets an award. it gets published. i write a short story about my ocd, and how i'm overcoming it, and how my days are getting lighter and starting to flourish. i keep getting ghosted. no response. it just is lacking... something.

is this it, forever? you can be an artist, okay. but the trade off is that the things you make - if they're happy? if they're joyful? people will say it's stupid and pandering. you bite your nails off. you file your teeth. you hear something inside of you breaking.

the other day in a writing group, someone i'd thought of as a friend said: "you write so much better these days! i love what you make when you'd rather be dead."

[talesfromlissom]

MegOp Week 2024

Day 1: Memory/Gift

Continuity: Transformers Prime

Rating: General Audiences

Relationships: Megatron/Optimus Prime

Characters: Megatron, Optimus Prime

Warnings: Canon divergence, kind of toxic relationships(??)

Summary: Orion gives Megatronus a gift and a memory. He doesn't like either of them.

“Orion, I’m going to trip on something. Could you remove your servos from my optics?” Megatronus blurted out. Despite this, a giggle escaped from Orion’s lips when he suddenly veered Megatronus to the right, and just as expected, Megatronus tripped over something. He couldn’t see what it was at the time, but he assumed it was a cable. “Promise you won’t laugh?” Orion whispered when the two finally came to a stop. Megatronus never got the chance to answer when Orion uncovered his eyes, and he wasn’t entirely sure what to say. 

He was inside of the Archives, he knew that much, but the tiny corner in the library was set up with what could’ve been described as a pillow fort. Expensive fabrics made up the ceiling and sides of the tent, fairy lights hung from the inside of the tent. There were piles upon piles of data pads on both the inside and outside of the tent, a plate of energon goodies and other things that Megatronus had only ever dreamed of eating. 

He didn’t say anything, gentle strides towards the tent were interrupted by the shuffling of Orion’s feet on the tile. “Um…you do like it…right?” Orion murmured, hands clasped behind his back but Megatronus just knew that his fingers were twitching. A nervous habit that Megatron was certain the Prime still held onto. “I picked out all of your favorites. Um…” Orion stepped past him, practically skipping over to the tent before he crawled inside. He sat cross-legged, hunched over as he grabbed one data pad, “There’s uh…the history of the 13 original Primes. There’s some poetry, um…there’s energon goodies–” “Orion, why did you do this?” Megatronus blurted out once more, and Orion went dead silent. He stared up at him like a deer in headlights, blinking a few times with those wide, blue optics of his. Those wide, blue stupid optics of his. Megatronus hated that look, that genuine confusion. “Do you know how expensive all of these things are?” “Yeah?” “You shouldn’t have bought them for me.” “Why not?” 

Megatron couldn’t recall what he had said then; he just remembered the look on Orion’s face. The way he winced when he bowed his head and he solemnly placed the data pad back on the ground. 

“I know you’re busy,” Orion whispered, hands rung together while he looked off to the side. “But I haven’t seen you in…a very long time so I thought that it would be um…nice?” 

Megatronus felt his shoulders slump, giving Orion a look that could be described as downright pitiful. Slowly, he approached the tent, sitting down beside him before he popped an energon goodie into his mouth. He quickly put at least half of them into a bag before kissing his forehead. “I’ll stay for a bit,” Megatronus whispered. “But only for a bit, I have to make the last train to Kaon.” The last train to Kaon was only in an hour at the time, but Orion didn’t need to know. All Megatronus knew was that the grin that spread across the archivist’s face was enough. He never liked any of Orion’s gifts, they always made him uneasy, like he was indebted to him. But that was foolish to think about, even more foolish to say aloud, so he’d compromise by making it seem like he didn’t like it that much. 

He never knew if Orion noticed or not. 

Megatronu never cared to ask, and Optimus never said anything about it. 

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A/N—This was supposed to be longer, but I got lazy. I'm sorry. Do not let Megatron get into a relationship with anyone, guys. It's doomed to fail every time.

[thesaddestjoysandthesmallestlies]

poetry dump

Choose It Or Lose It

Choose a path, And use it. Take it all, Or lose it.

Take my hand, Or leave it. Leave my heart, Or keep it.

“Sorry”

You say that you're sorry, And I have to move on. You say that you're sorry, But you're still in the wrong.

I try to act like I’ve been fine. But, trying to believe it Is one big lie. And i'm starting to see it, All my deepest fears Were right all along.

You never cared, And I was just wrong.

Someone Who Never Died

Losing someone who isn’t dead Is trying to find common sense In why you left.

Maybe I was the dumb one For thinking you actually cared about me. And maybe I’m the dumb one, For thinking we were friends and not just family.

I still regret that question in the car, I still miss you, and hate you’re so far, Yet so close. The hurt is so dumb. I’m too young To understand Why you left, why you took a stand.

And, I hear your voice Underlaying every noise. When I’m up late and can’t sleep, I wonder how you could lose me And never reply. How could you lose me And still be so fine?

And that’s the pain of losing someone who’s still alive.

Everything

The sobs fade to laughter. “What is wrong with me?” I’m sure I’ll be fine after. “What is wrong with me?”

My eyes are rivers. “What is wrong with me?” The cold air sending shivers “What is wrong with me?” Down my spine. “What is wrong with me?”

I can’t even lie. “What is wrong with me?” I’m not fine. “Everything.”

You and I

Your name is just another word, The pain is just another hurt. I'll ignore the river streaming down my face, And I'll ignore you in every place.

I'll give up on waiting for a reply, I'll give up everything between you and I; I'll pack up and just leave Just like you did to me.

Maybe

I thought I had moved on, Then everything went wrong When I heard that song. It brought me back to the car ride.

The highs, And the lows; The pains, And the growths.

Then it made me realize: Maybe we're both better off this way.

Mr. Never Got Your Heart Broken

I’m so wrecked, Close to death. Yet, you're still so perfect, Mr. Never Got Your Heart Broken. Was I just a pawn In the long game?

I heard something about someone, Mr. Was Never Going To Stay, You like her instead. And, now i've let it get to my head.

I’m Not Sure

I’m not sure why you lied, Or why I tried To act like it was fine when i knew i was dying inside.

Or why you dodged the question; And why we refused to mention Everything that was going on, Which led to everything that we did wrong.

Why?

Tell me Why you did this. Why you left me feeling like shit. You knew it would hurt, And it did. So please, Answer me this.

The Little Girl

It’s the little girl you miss, Not me; Not this.

You can pretend you care, But I can tell when you’re lying. The trips, The falls, And you swore you’d be there For it all.

But you promised the little girl, Not me.

Two Weeks Too Late

You sit next to me, Two weeks too late. You say I look pretty, Two weeks too late.

I nod and smile, Two weeks too late. I feel like a dumb child, Two weeks too late.

And you’re showing signs, Two weeks too late. Gods, I wish I could read minds, When you’re two weeks too late.

All That We Mean

You pick up my feelings Like a nice Autumn breeze, And I can’t explain How much that means to me.

But, these signs get confusing, And it’s hard to believe That the friendly banter Is all that we mean.

I’m Trying

Trying to get good grades, But you change The curriculum every day.

I try to study, But you burned the books.

And the looks I get Make me regret Going outside.

But all you care about is how it looks, Not how it is. So you rewrite the books Of my life, And carve me with your knife.

The Job Of The Perfect Wife

I’ll never paint the fence, I’ll never wear the dress. I would never be a pretty bride, I could never be the perfect wife.

They’ve tried to morph me, Tried to convince me it’s fine To be someone’s babysitter For life.

So I’ll be forced to do it right, And you’ll send me down the aisle. You’ll cry of joy, whilst I fake a smile. I’ll run that extra mile For the rest of my goddamn life. Guess that’s just the job of the perfect wife.

Bitter

I used to sit and watch you When I was young. Now your name Leaves a bitter taste on my tongue.

I swear I used to think you were okay, But now I feel like I’ve gone insane.

Your Knife

I’d trust you with my life, Until you broke that sentence down with your knife.

How do I know my worth After all the hurt You caused?

I bet you were expecting applause, But I was too broken To respond.

Floating

I float And fly Through The sky.

I look down, But I’d rather be up here. Away from it all.

Down, On the ground, I’m sad. But here, I’m free.

Alone

Alone, A flower in a field. You came along, And picked it up; When no one else did. You carried it home.

No longer alone, You place it in a vase. You take care of it, When no one else did. You love it.

But, flowers wilt And people change. It’s shine is dead, So you left; Like everyone else did.

Regret

The warm July air, The breeze through my hair. The night after confirmation From a confrontation.

I knew it was true, I just felt the need to ask you. And nothing has been the same since then I've never felt this much regret.

[[I’ve definitely uploaded some of these to Scratch before, but whatever.]]

[nephriteknight]

OKAY HERE IT IS my Book of Hours TMA au, still kind of unfinished

jon (knock lantern) is the 12th librarian, of course. i'm still haven't nailed down his backstory, but BoH literally has a book of children's stories filled with terrible secrets written in a language with "addictive qualities", so there's something good there i just need to figure out specifics

the most obvious choice is to make gertrude (knock heart?) 11th librarian, but i don't think van lauren's whole deal lines up with her at all. granted, she doesn't need to be doing van lauren's thing to work as 11th, but still, considerations. another option is to make gertrude governor of the cucurbit instead? i mean it's pretty terrible even for her, but it fits into her ends-justify-the-means protecting the world from the supernatural thing, so there's something interesting there.

if gertrude is governor, either sasha (knock lantern) or gerry (...lantern forge?) was 11th librarian. not sure who's better for that. if gertrude is 11th librarian, maybe jonah (lantern, and rose?? not sure) was governor of the cucurbit? (but i don't want him to be out of the story lol) if he's alive he's jon's superior at the bureau, if he's dead it's maybe sasha? altho the beureau doesn't seem like her thing. maybe sasha was another previous librarian?

actually wait i've just had another thought. jonah is from way earlier in hush house's history instead, a baron probably, and just like in tma jon mostly finds a bunch of homoerotic letters written to him. he'd probably have tried to become immortal, maybe a lantern long? he could theoretically still be around. probably visits during numa

jon's friend in brancrug is georgie (winter heart) -- not sure what her job would be. also living in brancrug is martin (heart moon)!

jon and martin initially get off on the wrong foot, but eventually jon admits that martin is useful for clearing out rooms and they start spending more time together (jon definitely starts hiring martin even if other assistants would be more efficient sometimes). one day he invites martin up to help out but they get distracted talking about things and never actually get around to work. jon tries to pay martin his promised shilling on his way out, and martin refuses; jon says that even though he didn't end up helping jon still wasted his day, but martin says he spent the day with his friend and it wasn't wasted at all. he spends more time there after that, even without a reason. (one time, they uncover the wine cellar and get drunk together; by the time they realize martin needs to go home it's the middle of the night and a storm is raging, so jon insists martin spend the night at hush house. unfortunately there is way more than one bed, but they will eventually get together).

jon reads and rereads martin's poetry for memories.

among hush house's many visitors are a pair of edge-long, daisy (edge grail?) and basira (edge rose), who sometimes come looking for each other. occasionally their visits overlap, much to the librarians' chagrin (so much collateral damage). jon once put a chess board in front of them and managed to delay the physical fighting long enough to move the breakable things elsewhere.

hmm now that i'm thinking about it, gerry works very well in christopher illopoly's place. had a falling out with his mother, who could easily have been a librarian, then later lived at hush house under a different librarian (gertrude), that's fun.

many more characters show up in this au, some as visitors and some as historical figures jon reads about as he restores the library (many characters will be long gone by the time jon becomes librarian, but they might not be the ones youd expect. reading about historical events and people is such an important and compelling part of BoH, and i think it would be cool to learn about major characters we care about solely from books). i haven't figured out who they all are in this setting, but i've figured out principle aspects for a lot of them!

tim (forge moon)

melanie (edge grail) - maybe moves to brancrug permanently to be with georgie?

jane prentiss (scale grail) (the cross died not but passed within)

oliver banks (winter sky)

the distortion (moth knock). would probably appear in this as a human (or non-human) named helen, since michael shelley makes more sense as someone connected to gertrude and/or hush house

peter lukas (moon winter) - comes by and shit talks jonah. occassionally jonah comes to check on jon's progress, and shit talks peter

simon fairchild (sky moth?)

adelard dekker (heart winter?)

agnes montague (forge and... winter maybe?)

jude perry (forge grail?)

annabelle cane (...oh thats tricky. knock sky?)

robert smirke (sky rose)

manuela dominguez (moon forge)

mikaele solesa (...hm im really not sure?) sells jon books like oriflamme's

well this post was as much stream of consciousness as it was writing down what i'd already planned. in conclusion: jonah as a baron (or maybe the second son of a baron who didn't inherit the estate, which everyone said was probably for the best since he never married or had heirs); mary, gertrude, sasha, and jon as librarians; gerry in a similar role to christopher illopoly; georgie and martin as villagers in brancrug; daisy and basira as an edge-long dyad.

gah this is fun. i wasn't planning to actually write anything for this but now i want to.

[fatalled]

@godenvy // ryuu & hiroji. after the gala. — just say the word & i'll make us loved.

hiroji turns the lights off one by one in the small apartment. the dishes are done, the clothing mess all put back into the dresser, even the coffee table is cleared off and the tiny succulent sits hardy as ever in the middle. the apartment is quiet, the sounds of the city are the only thing that feel like a heartbeat here. ryuu might ascribe it to be as quiet as a tomb — but hiroji wouldn't. he couldn't. the clutter on the shelves from the leather-bound books of poetry to the polaroids where ryuu smiles so brightbrightbright to the wet specimens curled tightly in their jar weren't things that hiroji would bury and weep over. they were — home.

the poetry book with his name scribbled in, decorated little black paper flags to tell him which of the poems were ryuu's favorites. ( although, hiroji would always think his signature right next to hiroji's name is his favorite poem. he wouldn't tell him that. ) the bouquet of dried flowers, red roses wilting eternal. the halloween skull they found. the little feathered raven that sat ever-never-evermore looking at them. they were little pieces of ryuu, little parts of hiroji. they were home carved out of a dark place and made even more precious because of whose hands touched them, whose heart thought they were special.

he wouldn't tell him that either.

he turns off the light as he heads to the bedroom. that event had been — a mess. & hiroji ruined it with a question he shouldn't have asked. ( can i kiss you? — i'm too overwhelmed right now. i just want to go home. ) he should have seen that. he should have seen — and he didn't. too caught up in his own mistake of not being there when he said he would that he didn't check in with ryuu if he wanted to be there at all. hiroji leans against the doorway and looks at the soft shape of ryuu curled up in bed. it's quiet in here, cold. & so very still. who knows how long he'll be out — that's why hiroji cleaned up. ryuu wouldn't have to worry about those things. he can just — rest.

hiroji makes his way to ryuu's side of the bed and sits right on the floor next to him and rests his cheek right there on the edge. ryuu hardly seems to breathe. that slow, unheard pulse creeps through his veins and it's almost unnerving. he looks dead. with careful fingers, hiroji brushes his dark hair away from his face and sighs.

"i'm sorry," he mutters. his voice is too scratchy, too alive. "i ... just." a weak shrug of his shoulders is followed by a heavy sigh. god. this all felt a mess. he feels a burn in the back of his throat that he hasn't felt in fucking years — he might cry. he wouldn't tell him that, though.

"i thought it was going to be a different. it was different in my head. i didn't mean — for-for any of that to happen. i didn't think it would. i thought ... we'd just have a night together and i could tell you —" he cuts himself off and swallows hard against tears in his eyes. pull yourself fucking together, hiroji. the fuck are you doing? a sharp inhale and he picks up his head, leaning against his fist. ryuu simply breathes slowly & continues to sleep. hiroji could be talking at full volume but he wouldn't hear him. a train could come storming through but ryuu wouldn't move — he'd just keep sleeping. "i think i'm in love with you."

without ryuu to hear him, however, did he ever actually say it? coward. a fucking coward.

"i ... say i think but i'm pretty sure. you're literally the one fucking person that makes this fucking mess —" & he points to his temple, "go quiet. it makes sense with you, i fucking make sense with you. and ... i know that after tonight, you're be gunna pretty hard pressed to believe that but ... it's true. you make me so fucking happy, ryuu. and ... i promise, i won't fucking leave you behind."

he reaches forward and places his hand on ryuu's. it's cold — and hiroji feels like he burns too hot.

"everyone else left you but i won't, alright? it's okay if you don't love me back or — if you just wanna be friends, i'll fucking live with it. hell, i'd rather live with that fucking pain than live without you. i'd rather have you never look at me like that than not have you in my life at all. because-because i won't leave you behind. i fucking swear to every poe and whoever else the fuck you got living on your shelves, alright? i know you've been left — but i swear it won't be me who leaves you." he wishes for all in the world to kiss his hands, to have to courage to whisper it against his knuckles how much he cares for him, how precious he finds him, how dear he is to him.

but he doesn't tell him that, though.

instead, he quickly wipes at his eyes. the laugh is barely a sound, barely a shade of anything good. hiroji knows that — he knows that there is very little good to come of him. he isn't like ryuu — scarred by the people in this world who kept taking and taking and taking from him. he's a dog with teeth, ripping and snarling and begging for more. ryuu, however, makes him want to attempt to be gentle.

"so ... sleep tight, pretty boy. i'll keep an eye on you."

[recordsfm]

╰   ☆  ◞  renee rapp / cis woman / she/her  ———  no way is that SAVANNAH-LYNN COOKE? you know they’re TWENTY-ONE YEARS OLD and they’ve been in los angeles for TWO YEARS. they’re chillin’ as a STRIPPER at LUX. oh and they’re notoriously known for being JADED but there are some people who have seen them be CHARISMATIC. i heard they’re a part of a SOLO ACT called SAVANNAH ROSE, yeah they’re a SINGER/SONGWRITER to be honest they sound a lot like RENEE RAPP, LAUREN SPENCER SMITH, KELSEA BALLERINI & KELLIE PICKLER. they’re actually UNDERGROUND.

PART ONE: STATISTICS. 

feel free to omit some questions as you see fit.

basic information:

FULL NAME: Savannah-Lynn Rose Cooke

NICKNAME(S): Sav, Savy, Venus

AGE: 21

DATE OF BIRTH: October 10th 2002

PLACE OF BIRTH: Macon, Georgia

GENDER: Ciswoman

PRONOUNS: she/her

ORIENTATION: Bisexual

LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: English.

NEIGHBOURHOOD: Southcrest

LIVING ARRANGEMENTS: Southcrest Terrace

family ties:

MOTHER: Tammy-Jo Cooke

FATHER: Harrison Cooke (dead)

SIBLINGS: None

SPOUSE / PARTNER: None

CHILDREN: None

PETS: None

occupational information:

OCCUPATION: Sex Worker

POSITION (IF APPLICABLE): Stripper

NAME OF THEIR ACT: Savannah Rose

SO THEY PLAY INSTRUMENTS? IF SO WHAT?: Piano, guitar, flute.

ARTIST INFLUENCES: Shania Twain, Taylor Swift, Honey K.

CURRENT MONTHLY SPOTIFY/APPLE MUSIC LISTENS ON AVERAGE: 200

personality:

 WESTERN ZODIAC: Libra

CHINESE ZODIAC: Horse

POSITIVE TRAITS: Charismatic, Caring, Flirty

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Jaded, Stubborn, Clingy

HOBBIES: Singing, Dancing, playing guitar, writing poetry

AESTHETICS: Glaring spotlights, leftover glitter, crumpled dollar bills

PART TWO: QUESTIONNAIRE. 

start at the beginning, who are you and why are you important?

"My name is Savannah Rose, I'm a 22 year old from Georgia and I'm a singer."

how long have you been making music?

"It kinda feels like forever. I did pageants as a little girl so my mama had me doing all sorts of singing bits and stuff like that. But when it came to actually playing instruments, I think I was about ten? so 12 years?"

how would you describe the kind of music you make?

"For me it's pretty real and raw. Vulnerable. It's very much just a girl and her guitar vibes right now but I'm trying to work on that."

who are some of your biggest musical influences?

"Honestly, Tay swift is my girl. I love how she just writes her truth and doesn't accept peoples bad behavior. But I really did look up to both Shania and Honey K and Jenna for a long time."

what is the first record you ever bought?

"The first one I ever bought? My dad took me to the midnight release of Red by Taylor Swift at target... My mom was so mad because I was tired and cranky for my pageant the next day, but in the end it was worth it."

what has working in the music industry meant to you thus far in your career?

Savy pulled in a deep breath. The last thing she wanted was to dox herself in an interview. But at the same time it was so hard to care. At least now she was taking off her clothes for more money then she ever made in pageants. "I haven't found much success doing just music yet. I'm hoping to change that soon."

what are some stand out moments from your career so far?

"Well, this interview is probably the biggest one so far."

how would you describe your style of performance? what makes your shows worth seeing?

"I try to make sure everyone is having a good time. I mean you always have those people who who will never be happy, but I'll do everything reasonable to make sure you're having a good time."

what are you still hoping to achieve in your career?

"All I wanna be able to do is make a living doing what I love to do."

what’s next for you?

"Well, honestly I'm hoping to get discovered. Signed onto someone's label so I can put out my very first album and see how it goes from there."

PART THREE: BACKGROUND:

Savannah was an unwanted child. Though you've never know at looking at it from the outside.

Tammy Jo was promising Miss Georgia contestant who had her title stripped from her once she got pregnant unexpectedly from a one night stand.

With a baby on the way, there really wasn't much more that Tammy or Harrison could do other then get married. Even if the two were complete opposites.

Due to her dreams being dashed, Tammy Jo entered her three month old daughter into a beauty pageant, much to the dismay

[night-faye]

THERE HE IS!! MACZILLA FIREFOX! He protecc, he attacc, he Macacc. Anyways. In his little edgy cave I like to joke is like living in Wukong's ceiling attic XD good view of the mountain from up there? Adore the lanterns Macky hung up here, he really likes them!! There's some of those during the Brotherhood's dinner scene too. Probably his decor suggestion for their little kingdom :D When we next see him again when the gang drops off, he's in a whole new cave because the last one was over a cliff, this new one seems to be in Wukong's secret room? Would this be the monkey equivalent of couch surfing 🤔 also dwaa, he's just napping with the monkey but lol sir? Why are you opening your blind eye to check, I mean. is it the instinct of possibly being right side dominant? but he's smiling happily at the hugs and MK's choice 🥺 *punches his shoulder* knew you had a heart in there bud! So goofy, he swings on the vines of the shadows. The physics of this power is fascinating. It's a total different plane of existence oooh, I forgot to mention we actually call that void Macky's "Shadow Realm" in the fics :D Lol, I mean. I suppose Wukong has difficulties facing things and that could seem like ignoring them, but not because he doesn't care. I'd say MK is pretty accurate in his assessment here. But the question is: Which assessment does Wukong agree with VS what's true. We're always our own worst critics especially when we internalize *gets dragged off stage-* Somebody's shocked, hard to tease a guy flickering and defeated. "Nice tail by the way. That's new." NICE ATTEMPT AT SMALL TALK LOL. "C'mon misery kid. I've got something to show you." 1) MISERY KID. 2) ITS THE FACT HE HAD THIS GAME PREPARED. Did you know. 3) "As for Macaque, well. That coward has tucked himself away. Somewhere even I can't sniff him out." Why did you have to say it like that. WHY ARE YOU SO OBSESSED WITH HIM. Lmaoo. Anyways, maybe Macky's ears heard Peng was looking for him and was like "peace out" ✌️ 🚶 Being a bird and calling a monkey a rodent and also knowing how to hunt him by scent mmm 🤨 Alright splitting the text and waiting for you to get there so I can just back track on what I said instead of sending another ask going "and here's why I had to reference that last one a lot!" I see you've gotten to where Macky himself confesses that he can ALSO sniff out Wukong. Where's that poetry that's like "I would know his scent even in death." C'MON my guy, you're tattling on yourself here and it's also why I was raising my eyebrow at Peng earlier that is SUSPECT. *looks at me getting dragged off stage above.* hehe, soon. Because yessiree! It's that "Not the Great Sage! He's gotta drag everyone else into his mess." Just like S3 Wukong who flew off saying he needed to stop dragging everyone into his mess :D almost like all those faces they were making during MK's rant meant something, almost like this whole thing about not abandoning your best friend- HAHAHAHAHA >:) BY THE WAY FAYE I HAVE EVEN MORE FUN NEWS. Remember when I was so hooked on Macky's intro? Finally four whopping seasons later. "It's great seeing ya bud!" Yeah he was just throwing Wukong's line here right back at him. Same emphasis on "bud" and all. A whole divorce and couple centuries dead and he's STILL hooked on that. The fact that it was followed up with "just run off like you always do." is extra ouch because it's what Peng always saw him as and Wukong never stepped in and here he's AGREEING. Have you always thought that. I'm glad you're having a breakdown over all the cuteness, as promised ^_^ and the voices yesss, they managed to capture so much nuance here I ADORE IT. Best animated verbal fight EVER.

[astralmona]

cliche romantic things with genshin characters !

AKA snippets from AU ideas that i am not ready to write out yet

w/ ei (slight angst), beidou and lisa (suggestive)

ei + slow dancing

"i don't know how to dance," you say. ei answers back with a smile, hand still outstretched. sighing, you reach out slowly, willing your feet to not trip you over.

she pulls you into her easily. "you don't have to know how to dance. just follow me." you feel her place a kiss against your cheek before she's whisking you around her chambers — a hand placed on your waist, and the other intertwined with your fingers.

it's quiet. it is in the dead of night in the shogun's chambers after all. a place where ei has shown you over and over again that she chooses you, above all else. the sound of hushed footfalls on wooden floors keeps a steady rhythm. she drops her other hand to your waist, silencing the movements. it takes you a moment to realise she's pulled you into a tight hug — face turned into your neck.

"ei?" you ask. "is something wrong?"

ei shakes her head. it's you that doesn't remember. you're not exactly who you were all those years ago, but when ei looks into your eyes and sees the mirth in your eyes whenever she speaks, she remembers. she can picture a time, a place, maybe even before the archon war where she's danced with you like this before. what a pleasant twist of fate to meet you again right after she's left her plane of euthymia.

although, ei grimaces as she remembers miko's smirk, hidden behind a well-placed hand. it's most likely not as much of a coincidence as she thinks. regardless, she's grateful.

"i'm glad you're here," is all ei says. one hand strokes your hair and the other running down your spine. she's always held you in this way, touching every part of you as though she's making sure you're real.

"i am too," you reply.

you'll stay this time, won't you? ei wants to ask, but she already knows the answer you'll give her. a tilt to your head, a frown as you try to piece together if you've ever made her doubt otherwise, before a small giggle as you stroke her cheek, promising her.

that's what these dances are — a reminder of promises made to each other on unforgettable nights just like these.

beidou + soft moments under moonlight

you see beidou's silhouette before she even sees you. she's perched on top of the cliff at guyun stone forest, gazing out to the sea. even from here, you can tell there's a wistfulness in her expression, similar to how she would look on the crux during long journeys.

"the moon is beautiful, isn't it?"

against all better odds, you flush. "don't say cheesy stuff like that when i'm sneaking up behind you."

beidou barks out a laugh, turning to face you and beckoning you over to her side. "how is he?" she asks, voice low. there's concern swimming over her face, and you know who she's talking about even without his name.

"kaedehara kazuha is doing... fine." you shrug. you can still picture the small boy with his anemo vision hanging from his hip, a hastily wrapped bandage around his wrist, looking all over the ship but really seeing anything. it's only when the crux's crew first sees the signs of liyue's shores that he opens up, hiding behind a mask of poetry and elegant lines. "he always seems to be looking for something thought." you finish.

"isn't that almost everyone who ends up joining the crux?" beidou peers at you knowingly, a smirk on her face.

you raise an eyebrow at her as she breaks out into laughter once again. there's something admirable about it. the way she takes, and gives, and cares, and her unfraid, unabashed laughter. it's been a long time since you've laughed like that. without knowing it, your fingers reach down to intertwine with hers, hearing beidou's chuckle cut short with a small "oh?"

"i haven't found what i'm looking for." you start, eyes focusing on your interlocked fingers and tracing your way up her arm to her face. your words catch in your throat as you take in her form — eye slightly hooded in fondness and her focus entirely on you. "but i think i'm pretty satisfied all the same."

beidou smiles in return. it's gentle and it's soft. "well, look at you go." there's a teasing glint as she glances between your lips and your eyes. "i think you've been hanging out too much with the new kid."

you roll your eyes with a giggle, knowing she means well. and when she catches your lips under the moonlight, putting everything she has in it, just like she does with anything important, you realise you don't really need to hear her say what she truly feels when it's always been so glaringly obvious in her actions.

lisa + taking care of you when you're sick

"i mean, really." lisa walks over to you with the scent of tea wafting through the air. "if you wanted me to take care of you, all you had to do was ask." there's a teasing lilt to her voice that you should have grown accustomed to by now, and yet, here you were, curling further into the sheets to hide the warmth spreading on your cheeks.

"don't you have to be at the library?" you murmur through the pain in your throat. your hand lifts up to massage it as though it'll ease the strain.

lisa responds with a tsk. "the library can certainly handle it's own for a few hours. besides," she continues. "if anything were to happen to the books while i was busy with more important things..."

you feel your skin tingle with her words. she doesn't need to finish her sentence for you to know the types of punishments she's referring to. there's a soft clink as the cup is settled down on your bedside table. the bed dips as lisa settles herself down with a quiet hmph. her cool hand tugs down your bedsheets just enough to reach your forehead.

"oh, you're really burning up." there's a quiet undertone of concern underneath her silky voice. it reminds you of other more intimate times when she's been worried about you.

not to be outdone, you swallow thickly through the pain in your throat. "it's because you're here."

silence falls between the two of you. you peek your head out from under the covers to see lisa’s reaction, and have just enough time to catch what seems to be purple lightning dancing across her eyes before she turns away, feigning a yawn.

“get well soon, darling.” her voice drops low dangerously. “you’re going to need all the rest you can get once i start toying with you again.”

“i miss having all your attention.” you send a half smirk her way, that you’re sure ends up looking more pained than flirtatious.

surprisingly, lisa doesn’t respond to you with any dangerously enticing lines, merely a sigh. “don’t you have all my attention now?” her hand strokes your cheek, tracing up to your hair and running down your arm in calming, repetitive strokes. lisa’s gaze settles upon you, and there’s a strange feeling in your chest at the fondness lurking in her eyes. “you disappeared for four days,” lisa says, closing her eyes in thought. “no one knew where you were, and all that time, you were just trying to recover from this horrible sickness by yourself. you can ask, you know?” she opens her eyes, staring at you unflinchingly. “no one in mondstadt is ever going to be too busy for you.”

there’s an unspoken suggestion underlying her words. ‘i’m never going to be too busy for you.’ you lean into her touch. “sorry.” you mutter softly into her hand. “i thought i could handle it.”

there’s no response from lisa, and slowly, but surely, you drift off to quiet humming and warm touches against your skin. lisa stays, placing a kiss on the top of your forehead once she’s sure you’re asleep, constantly reassuring herself that you’re here with her.

likes and reblogs are appreciated !

[the-broken-truth]

I know I've asked about a request but I got a new one can you do one where the reader is male and is some type of hunter I'm talking allan quatermain type and is paired the females of resident evil village

Broken: I don't know anything about Allan Quartermain but I looked him up and he appears to be some kind of Cowboy-ish Figure. I'll try as best as I can to weave these words.

[Alcina Dimitrescu + The Daughters]

The Head of Castle Dimitrescu and First Lord to Mother Miranda became aware of The Lone Hunter when he came knocking upon Castle Dimitrescu's Door, looking for shelter for the night from the upcoming storm. Alcina - while hating men - felt something for this particular man and allowed him within the walls of her castle. She allowed him to sit at her table and dine with her and her daughters - the entire time, he was kind and well-mannered; he didn't even care when the daughters devoured human flesh before him and drank the blood of men, he just sat there and ate his steaks.

When it was time for bed, Alcina was walking the halls of her castle when she heard the sound of the Man-Thing reciting some Romanian Poetry and walked into this room; the two of them talked about poetry, wine, food, and all kinds of things. For the first time in her life, she fell for a man and made him promise that once he found what he needed to find, he would return back to Castle Dimitrescu and marry her.

When he did come back, The daughters were happy to see him and the gifts he had for them - new daggers and garments that would let them be able to go outside and enjoy the weather without getting too cold; he was like the father they never had and he took to that role very well.

[Donna Beneviento]

Donna and Angie were tending to their garden when they heard someone in pain - they followed the sound and came upon a man that appeared to have been attacked by the Lycans; the dead lycans around him made that clear. His coat was torn and his chest was scarred by the laws of the beasts; the man appeared to be some kind of hunter and passed out from the pain but he was still alive. With the aid of her power and the dolls, she was able to get him inside the manor and began tending to his wounds; trying as hands as she tried not to blush when her hands touched his muscular body and Angie teasing her on liking him before even getting to know him.

When the man woke, he explained who he was and what he was doing around her turf - he was looking for some ingredient that would make an elixir to cure someone that meant a lot to him of an illness; Donna became dishearted thinking the man had a family of his own already but the question from Angie revealed that it was a dog that he's had since he was a little boy; the dog developed serious heartworm and there was no common medicine that could help him.

Donna gave him the ingredients and helped him make the elixir but the two of them got closer as time went on. Once it was done, the man swore that he was going to heal his dog and the two of them were going to return to the lovely woman who saved both their lives - Their Guardian Angel is what the man called Donna before giving her a kiss on her cheek.

[Mother Miranda]

He was Miranda's First Love and the Father of Eva but he died in a battle to keep them safe but it was all for not and he ended up dying before Miranda could save him, Eva soon following him. Miranda became obsessed with getting her family back and used the Cadou and Umbrella Corporation to have her dreams of her real family coming true. What she didn't know was that her husband was already reincarnated and he was coming back to her.

She found him again when Karl captured him and brought him before the Lords and Miranda and Miranda were going to give him Alcina for food when he called her 'My Golden Raven' - a nickname that he gave her when they began dating. Tears flooded Miranda's eyes as she realized who was before her and ran into his chest, giving him a kiss before introducing him to the Lords as their father.

[End]

[vanderwoodlings]

i still do. i always will. a dan/serena playlist (x)

For the good times and the bad—text version of the tracklist (and commentary) under the cut

1. “Middle of Love,” Jake Wesley Rogers. Thesis statement song!!! In the middle of loving you/It's so far from done/You tried to run/I tried to tie your shoes

1. “Middle of Love,” Jake Wesley Rogers. Thesis statement song!!! In the middle of loving you/It's so far from done/You tried to run/I tried to tie your shoes

2. “Lovebug,” Jonas Brothers. This song is all dorky infatuation and I love it for them

3. “Falling in Love,” Cody Fry—for when that infatuation gets deep really, really quickly. Promise you 'til the day that I die/You and I will be falling in love

4. “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic,” The Police. Even though my life before was tragic/Now my love for her goes on

5. “Wishing Wells,” The Colourist. I'm sick of hearing what if, what if/Just follow what you're feeling for

6. “The Only Exception,” Paramore. Children of divorce hours, specifically in the ‘i need to know why you love me’ type of way

7. “If I Could Take You Home,” Relient K. Oh, look, our first typo on the covers. If I could take you home/I'll be all that you need/The trail of broken hearts you left behind/Should send me running, girl, but I don't mind

8. “Please Don’t Say You Love Me,” Gabrielle Aplin. Fools rush in/And I've been the fool before/This time, I'm gonna slow it down/‘Cause I think this could be more. Tentatively getting back to together song

9. “You Can Call Me Al,” Paul Simon. ‘Congratulations, Don’—this song is just here to be goofy and fun

10. “11:11,” Waterparks. My favorite set of stairs is the one up to your room/And my heavy set of cares evaporates all around you

11. “Gotta Have You,” The Weepies. No amount of coffee, no amount of crying/No amount of whiskey, no amount of wine/No, no, no, no, no, nothing else will do/I've gotta have you, I've gotta have you

12. “Poetry by Dead Men,” Sara Bareiles. I think I got this one off another derena playlist, but whoever it was was right? Fire from embers, how can I make you remember?/With a turn of a phrase, would you turn to me if I say/I still want to be your girl?/I still wanna be your girl in a white T-shirt/Over coffee, stirrin' in the cinnamon/While you read me poetry by dead men

13. “1965,” Zella Day. I never had nobody touch me like I'm glass

14. “No Children,” The Mountain Goats. I am drowning/There is no sign of land/You are coming down with me/Hand in unlovable hand. I’ve metaed before about s6!derena and this sense of like. ‘You’re all I have so here we go’ as opposed to their s1!selves, and I feel like this is… right

15. “Fuckmylife666,” Against Me! I don’t have the heart to match/The one pricked into your finger. Feelings are messy. Also trans Dan subtext because I must

16. “I Don’t Wanna Know,” Fleetwood Mac. Yes we did go from s6 to s5 don’t worry about it—still, it feels very fake dating plot in some ways

17. “Glowing in the Dark,” The Girl and The Dreamcatcher. I've been bitten by the lonely/But when I'm not the only/When I'm, when I'm not the only/One who feels it, maybe it's sick to say/But it helps that you feel the same

18. “First Day of My Life,” Bright Eyes. I’d rather be working for a paycheck/than waiting to win the lottery. This is the start of the ‘what if it got good again’ section haha. Welcome to my derena agenda

19. “One Headlight,” The Wallflowers. We’ll put it all together/We can drive it home/With one headlight

20. “Lucky People,” Waterparks. Let’s be lucky people, you and I

21. “Just What I Needed,” The Cars. It's not the perfume that you wear/It's not the ribbons in your hair/And I don't mind you comin' here/And wastin' all my time

22. “Don’t Take The Money,” Bleachers. This song is like. For the work of relationships? It is, however, also so much fun

23. “All the Small Things,” blink-182. She left me/Roses by the stairs/Surprises let me know she cares. I have thoughts about Gender and being good to each other

24. “Drunk Voicemail,” Pom Pom Squad. I wanna tell you everything that makes me cry/Wanna tell you everything that keeps me up at night/Wanna tell you that I hate you, but I don't know how/When the truth is that I love you more than anyone else

25. “Gold in the Summertime,” Matt Nathanson. Nobody loves you/The way that I do/The way you shine through/Gold in the summertime

26. “Hey Jealousy,” Gin Blossoms. And you know, it might not be that bad/You were the best I'd ever had/If I hadn't blown the whole thing years ago/I may not be alone

27. “See The Sun,” Pete Murray. And where's the love/That we shared go/Can you be the one/Can you see the sun/With me

28. “The Graveyard Near The House,” The Airborne Toxic Event. I love the refrain of Bye, bye, bye to all this dogged innocence for a later derena relationship, but also: We're like two actors playing our parts/Did you memorize your lines? Cause I did/Here's the part where I get so mad/I tell you that I can't forget the past

29. “Notbroken,” The Goo Goo Dolls. And we’re not broken/So please come home

30. “What’s Left,” The Walters. Thesis statement… two!!! This is the depressing version. Tell me what is left 'round here/Other than you my love

[khaleesiofalicante]

Yeah, here I am once again. Appearing after the chaos I created 😂 but OMG WE HAVE ONLY ONE CHAPTER LEFT?? AND THEN THERE COMES THE ANGST?? I'M READY😎

I'm glad to inform you I finished the homework and I have only two assignments and two exams left that I will today :)) It was like:

Me: Maybe I should do this tomorrow??

Brain: But what about Dani?? And the chapter??

Me: Fuck, you are right, I need to do this :(

But anyways, here I am:

"He had been woken up by music, by love, by violence and by nightmares. And out of all those times, out of all those centuries, this was easily his favourite way to wake up." just the beginning and I'm having lots of feels🥺🥺

“Happy anniversary,” Magnus grinned against the other man’s mouth. “Happy anniversary,” Alec whispered. Fifteen years.Fifteen years since Alec Lightwood loved one man so much that he had changed the world for him." 15 YEARS? HRJWKDJDJ LOVE THEM💙

"Magnus understood why his son was acting all over the place. The boy was supposed to take up the position of Consul after Alec" *singing "Oh baby, no baby, you got it all wrong baby" *

"Next thing he knew, Alec was on top of him. His mouth was on Magnus. Where, exactly, Magnus didn’t notice – or care. He liked Alec everywhere." OH WELL, THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY! 😏

"Not the kind of banging he had hoped to start the day with to be honest." OH god😂😂 I love this man. He is the bane of my existence!” (I just-  The puns are killing me 😂)

“It might be karma, darling,”  (He got a point. Karma is a bitch)

“Since when do you have a problem with excessive glitter?” (Yeah Alec, Your excuses are getting worst 😂)

"You better do it, or I will tell everyone about your secret" YOU LITTLE SHIT!

"That child is the reincarnation of Christopher Lightwood!” 😂😂 i literally scared my dog cause I laughed so hard!!

"There were whispers and rumours all over the shadow world that Angel Raziel had given up on Alec’s Clave." OH THE FUCK NO!! I SWEAR I WILL THROW SOME HANDS AT HEAVEN!! "Because if Magnus found out Raziel was the one causing all this pain for Alec, he would march up to heaven and set the bastard on fire himself." FUCK YEAH. I'M COMING WITH YOU!! 🔪 🔪

“Livia Blackthorn had been listening through the Idris wards to gather pieces of information that might be crucial for Alec’s Council.” I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT WAS LIVVY!!

Selena is Ragnor’s favorite!!! I LOVE IT

“The shadowhunter was a good influence on him. Magnus hoped Alec would see it sooner rather than later.”😂😂 You love him Alec and you know it!!

“She walked over to Magnus and hugged him tightly. And he sensed it immediately. The second heartbeat.” What?? WHAT??? I ALMOST SCREAMED. OMG. OMG

“Magnus stared at the necklace. The necklace he had bought in the 19th century for Camille. The necklace that had ended up in the hands of Will Herondale and then his sister. The necklace that had belonged to the Lightwood family for generations.” OMG SHE IS GIVING HIM THE LIGHTWOOD NECKLACE!!! THAT THING LITERALLY COMPLETE THE CIRCLE. BELONGED TO MAGNUS, CAMILLE, WILL, CECILY, ALL THE LIGHTWOODS AND THE MAGNU’S SON!!

I'm freaking out now because Izzy doesn't know??? Or maybe she does???And it's waiting to tell them?? I feel like a worried parent!!!

“But he knew it was all part of growing up. He would never pressure them to talk about their feelings or force them to make themselves vulnerable. All he could do was be there for them when they were ready to let it all out. “Do you want to tell me about it?” Magnus asked. He tried. Just in case.” What do I see here? Parenting doing right💙💙

“If you want love, you must be willing to accept the vulnerability that comes with it.” I just. This man gives the best advice ever!!

“I’ll try,” Rafael promised. “I don’t like lying.” “I know,” Magnus smiled. “So much like your dad.” But Alec did lie though. Magnus pushed the thought away. (Why is this such a rollercoaster??)

“His children were so much like his husband that sometimes it made Magnus wonder if they needed him at all. It was a ridiculous thought of course. But it stilled swam around his head. Sometimes a part of him thought it would be better if Alec had been the one to stay back and Magnus was the one to leave. The kids would be better off with Alec, his mind said. He always knew what to do with them.” IT'S NOT OK TO MAKE ME CRY WHEN I HAVE AN EXAM IN 3 MINUTES!!

Back from my exam 😂😂 And don’t worry. Just got one mistake :))

“Max of course was wearing a white t-shirt and jeans. His regular look. But just below the pearl necklace wrapped around his neck was the Lightwood necklace.” YES. MAX WEARING THE LIGHTWOOD NECKLACE!!

“Alec walked out of their bedroom a moment later, and Magnus quite literally felt his heart stutter. Fifteen years. Fifteen years of loving and Alec still made his heart stutter.” They are the reason I believe in love💙💙

“If Magnus wasn’t wrong, he could see the thin layer of kohl under Alec’s blue eyes. Alec rarely enjoyed wearing makeup. But he rarely enjoyed saying no to children too. Magnus threw Rafael a grateful smile and the boy winked back.” Magnus and Rafael getting Alec to wear makeup is my will to live 😂😂

“The words died on Alec’s lips when his eyes fell on Magnus. The man sighed as he stared at Magnus. Fifteen years. Fifteen years and Magnus still took Alec’s breath away.” Jagcydwjendieu I’m emo

What?” Magnus asked coyly. “Is it too much?” “You know damn well it’s not,” Alec hissed and pulled Magnus towards him. “You look perfect. How do you look so perfect?” “Because I am standing next to you,” Magnus smiled.( They bad/perfect flirting it's just *chef kiss*)

“Bapak is a good looking one in the family,” Rafael pointed out. “You are the chaotic one and I am the smart one.” “What am I then?” Alec asked dryly. “A sack of potatoes?” “You’re the sexy one,” Magnus grinned. “A sexy sack of potatoes.” (THAT FAMILY IS KILLING ME IN THE GOOD WAY💙💙)

Magnus nudged Rafael on the back. The boy sighed and walked to his brother. “Come,” he took Max’s hand and led him to his bedroom. “Let’s find you something nice to wear, okay?” Max mumbled again but followed Rafael anyway. (I just can’t with all the love this family has!!!)

“Nope,” Alec said. “They are stuck with me.” “And you’re stuck with me,” Magnus replied. “I wouldn’t be anywhere else, Magnus,” Alec randomly speaks poetry… And he says he is not good with words??

“Selena was wearing a blue crop top with the words “MIND YOUR OWN UTEREUS” written in gold. David was in a simple sky-blue t-shirt, the colour of Max’s magic.” OK BUT THEM?? THEY’RE BEAUTIFUL

“Max hadn't changed his clothes. But he was wearing a blue leather jacket that belonged to Rafael. He looked happy about it.” I said it once and I will say it again. They are the definition of siblings

NO!! IT'S TIME FOR THE TOAST. I’M GOING TO CRY!!

"To Alec and Magnus - for being themselves and inspiring everyone else to do the same." CHEERS TO THAT BRO!!

“Isabelle,” Magnus called gently. “Let’s go easy on the champagne tonight, yes?” YES IZZY. I’M WORRIED ABOUT YOU AND YOU NEED TO REST AND BE PROTECTED OK? OK

“The argument of “who gave the best gift” had started when Jace and Izzy had gotten drunk on vodka. It didn’t help that Alec had gotten drunk as well. All three Lightwood siblings had then proceeded to have an argument about who had the best spouse. The whole night had been drunken chaos. “

“So, Magnus had let his husband be that 18-year-old boy again. The boy who got drunk and fought with his siblings and sang songs about Magnus’ pretty eyes” 💙💙💙💙 This is just to pure

Ok, I feel like this is the chapter of the snippet from a long time ago. The one of Alec and Magnus in the closet while Mavid were talking, but I’m not sure

Why couldn’t this boy just cause chaos during his travel year like the rest of them? Why did he actually study and do his research as recommended?😂😂LMAOO

“Magnus didn’t know why. But the room suddenly felt rather hot. Poor David noticed his discomfort and came to his rescue. But unfortunately, the rescue attempt only made it worse” David, I love you with all my entire heart, but seriously??

DANI, NO! We have already been through this!! I have trauma out of this!!

OK, ok. It could have been worst

“But the time for talking was done. They were living it now.” I SWEAR I’M NOT CRYING!!

“Afraid of what?” Magnus asked. “I’m afraid you won’t find me attractive,” Alec said so quietly that Magnus barely heard it (MY HEART!!)

“But death is so much better than this. It’s so much better than waiting for the day you look at me and I no longer see that spark in your eyes.” THIS. THIS WAS THE DEAD OF ME

Fuck, i have an exam in 5 minutes and now I’m crying

Finally out of the exam 😂 This teacher literally asks us a question from the guidebook and if it's not 100% what it said there, then we fail

But going back to this HOLY SHIT I LOVE MAGNUS!!

“Did something say something to you?” Jace demanded, standing up angrily. “Because I swear by the angel-” “Nobody said anything, Jace!” Alec rolled his eyes. “I own a mirror!” “And is this mirror broken or something?” Isabelle asked incredulously. “Alec, honestly!” (I BELIEVE IN LIGHTWOOD SIBLINGS SUPREMACY!!)

“Yeah, man!” Simon nodded. “You are objectively good looking.” “Objectively good looking?” Jace snorted. “Excuse you, but my parabatai is smoking hot! He is a freaking prize, okay? If we had a magazine for hot shadowhunters, you would be on the cover page. Every single issue.” “Okay, that’s enough!” Alec interrupted. “Magnus, are you happy? Now all my friends have told me I am pretty.” “I said smoking hot,” Jace corrected. (*Sighs* I fucking love parabatai)

“Dad, I don’t know why you are so worried,” Max said in a bored tone. “You’re a total DILF.” David choked on his champagne and Jace patted him on the back. I’m dying jajdhuwejdjkew😂😂

“It means Dashing and Irresistible Looking Father” Singing again *Oh baby, no baby, you got it all wrong baby* Idk when this turned from Alec feeling self conscious to Thirsting Over Alec Lightwood-Bane but I’m here for it. Seriously. My mom is in front of me. She thinks and doing homework. And I’m just trying to keep a straight face (so hard) This is not working. I’m about to scream😂😂

2I can’t understand how you could look at yourself and not see what I see.”

“They stared at the picture on Max’s wall. The picture of Max and Rafael grinning ear to ear when they had visited Peru to piss Magnus off.” THOSE LIL SHITS!

tiEvery me they call each other baby my skin clears and i have three more years of life

“No,” Magnus managed a smile. “Sometimes things are just sad. So, you need to let yourself be sad.” 💙💙

“It’s Max!” Alec said. “We have to hide!" “Hide? This is our home!” (OH BOY😂😂)

I KNEW THIS WAS GOING TO HAVE THE SCENE!! “When I die, I will love you from my grave,” David said now. “I will love you from heaven.” WHY DO THEY ALL SPEAK POETRY?

Don’t let him go, Magnus whispered to Max inside his heart. Don’t ever let him get away.” MAVID IS JUST SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL!

“He wondered how strong a person must be to not give up on guardian angels and the idea of heaven after being dragged through hell by his demon of a father.” My boy is strong af

“I don’t believe in angels or heaven,” Alec said then. “But I feel blessed to be loved by you too.” Magnus smiled against Alec’s neck. “Stop stealing David’s dialogues.”💙💙 I have said this to much but I love them

“For the rest of the night, they danced and laughed and drank and smiled. Of course, there was the sadness of time hanging over their heads. But they ignored it. They focused on the love in front of them.” These lines are just amazing

“And sorry,” David said quickly. “I apologize if I said something out of turn before. I didn’t mean to cause any trouble-” BOY COULD YOU STOP BEING PERFECT??

“For what it’s worth, I don’t think it matters who you brought the necklace for,” David said, his blue eyes on Magnus. “Everything you do is out of love, Mr. Lightwood-Bane. And I think that’s beautiful.” EVEN MAGNUS STAY SPEECHLESS!!

“That’s not what I meant,” Jace shook his head. “David and Max. A shadowhunter and a warlock. They are together. They are happy. That’s cause of you, Alec. You and Magnus did that.” Magnus smiled at this husband. “Listen to your parabatai. He gets wise so very rarely.” YES THEY DID. I’M SO FUCKING PROUD!

“But he did it now. For Alec. Because Alexander Lightwood always has been and always will be his only exception.” The Malec feelings I’m getting from this are to much

“Magnus smiled. “How do I look?” “Immaculate,” Alec whispered. In the mirror, Magnus could see himself. His dark hair was woven with strands of gray. He had wrinkles on his face, just around the eyes. When Magnus smiled, his eyes crinkled.” OMG OMG!! I’M CRYING

“Magnus took Alec’s hand in his and put it over his heart. “Promise me you will stop smoking.” THANK YOU MAGNUS. LITERALLY THANK YOU!!

“I don’t care how they look at me. I care how you look at me," Alec smiled softly. "Because I only ever look back at you, Magnus.” Alec says these things like they aren’t worth a museum

I would never tell you what to do with your body, Alexander. But-” “Well, you tell me sometimes,” Alec snickered against his mouth. “Stop making jokes to avoid serious conversations,” Magnus slapped his husband on the arm. “That’s my thing.”😂😂

“Magnus stayed awake that night. He stayed awake and told his brain to cherish every single memory from tonight. That’s how Magnus spent every night. He would stay awake and ask his mind to remember.” THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND ACCURATE I ACTUALLY FORGET ITS NOT CANON

“And then he dreamt.In his dream, he saw them again. But they weren’t smiling this time.” :) Seriously?? SERIOUSLY? I’M SO DONE, YET I’M STILL HERE??

Ugh this was so beautiful i just can- I closed Tumblr so I didn’t get spoiled 😂 Amazing as always and I’m just going to have Malec feels for the rest of the day.

P.s. I was listening to One Last Time by LP and got even more emo 💙💙

This whole thing me so emo wtf 😭😭😭

I love your reactions so much 🥺🥺🥺

Also you reading fanfiction minutes before the exam is such a big dick move istg never change bro 😎

[ybcpatrick]

i was by @nerdangels thank u amanda i am holding ur hand rn <3333

1- why did you choose your url?

he's my boy. my fucking lad. my DUDE. my little guy. he is me and i am him. i was blessed by the whoevers to have snagged this url

2- any side blogs?

TOO MANY, BRO. i have a wrestling blog, a supernatural blog, a muppets blog, a poetry blog, a nostalgia blog, and an archive for the post!ybc au (which isn't dead, i promise, im so sorry to all the anons in my inbox i love you im just so tired all the ike akskajdskjf)

3- how long have you been on tumblr?

that april fools joke blog from a couple years ago says i joined on february 22nd, 2014. but, i did have another account before this one, so i'll just loosely say mid-2013 for that one

4- do you have a queue tag?

i've tried keeping a queue soooo many times but honestly i am just like. not the sort of person to use one lol. if i'm online you'll know it, if i'm not i'm not

5- why did you start your blog in the first place?

because i needed somewhere to get all the danny phantom stuff out of my system

6- why did you choose your icon/pfp?

bc he's ybcpatrick. i am Also ybcpatrick.

7- why did you choose your header?

oh it's still my halloween theme lmao, haven't had time to make a new one. my headers are just chosen to match my themes, i loooove makin pretty themes

8- what's your post with the most notes?

that GODDAMNED green day post. im too lazy to grab it rn but it's got over 100k notes. if u follow me u have seen it

9- how many mutuals do you have?

y'all are keeping track? ajdjejfjwuri i have lots of friends on here but idk how many

10- how many followers do you have?

1239 at the moment

11- how many people do you follow?

354!

12- have you ever made a shitpost?

babygirl that's all i do that's all i'm here for

13- how often do you use tumblr each day?

i will close tumblr and then by muscle memory i will open it again immediately. hotel california

14- did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

never with an actual person, but anons try to start shit with me REGULARLY. back in the day, some anon tried to accuse me of pretending to be canadian because i made one (1) post about liking the tragically hip. like HELLO?

15- how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

don't guilt people into reblogging shit; furthermore, even if it is important, tacking a "yOu NeEd To" onto your reblog is a surefire way to get everyone else to ignore it out of spite lmfao

16- do you like tag games?

YEAHHH i love them so muuuuch please tag me in anything and everything i don't care if we're mutuals i don't care if it doesn't seem applicable to me please. tag. me. anyways.

17- do you like ask games?

ALSO YEAHHH but i'm terrible at remembering that i reblogged one, so then i'll get distracted and forget to answer them in a timely fashion ajskajdwkndme

18- which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

bro i don't KNOW. possibly some of the fic authors? or some of my bandom mutuals? one of my mutuals (who doesn't have many interests in common with me so idk why she's still here but i think she's super fuckin cool) is probably "tumblr famous" bc like. all her posts get notes?

i think tumblr is great just bc you have NO IDEA who's "famous" and who's not. like, unless ur mutuals with fuckin setheverman or pukicho, it's just a mystery

19- do you have a crush on a mutual?

........i liked her long before we were mutuals and i'll say nothing fucking else thanks

tagging: @sleeping-dead-dying-sleep @greatesthitz @residentjoth @lunathemacron @softnsquishable @ibidflash and litchrally anyone else who wants to!!

[chokemewanda]

Celebrate

Main Masterlist Only Child Series Masterlist part five / part six / part seven chapter warnings: violence, sarcasm, swearing, fatalist humour, blood, gore, cheating at monopoly

Pietro was allowed back to his own space two whole days before Y/N was and she spent all that time whining to whatever Avenger happened to be on her rotation. Bucky left her that evening when she could barely keep her eyes open. When she woke up again she was joined by Steve who read to her from The Hobbit, something he was fond of because it was part of his before.

He didn't make her do homework even though she knew for a fact he was covering her WWII unit for History and it had been due to start two whole days ago. He had more mercy than Selvig who had sent some junior agent to relieve Steve and set up a video call so he could move on to Exponential Decay functions.

The next morning she woke to find Cint at her bedside setting up a laptop and she groaned at the thought of more classes but instead he spent two whole days with her watching the whole Harry Potter series to completion because she kept falling asleep.

He fell asleep at the end of her bed each night and was only kicked out by Natasha when he began to smell. When she was at last allowed to move back to her own quarters the visits didn't stop. Pepper came to her to catch her up on her Economics paper, reminding her that she needed to put her head down and keep herself out of trouble.

She said this with the kind of twinkle in her eye that Y/N had come to associate with Pepper joking. It was rare but it happened and it seemed to be something the two of them shared as to most the others she was Ms. Pott's only.

By the time she was cleared to leave her room the case of the squishy rodents had been solved and she was put off that she never got to go to any of the missions. Pietro healed a lot quicker than she did but they were still hesitant to clear him for fieldwork so the two of them spent a lot of time helping each other cheat on the stupid homework assignments they were given.

Y/N elected not to study Sylvia Plath as Agent Thirteen instructed her to and instead chose a poem by Robert Frost and wrote an essay on the themes of the poem. She asked Bruce to proofread it and he reminded her that he had a Ph.D. in biochemistry and gamma radiation, not English Lit. She ignored his grumbling and smiled when he handed it back with minor notes about spelling mistakes and grammatical errors.

"I could've sworn Sharon mentioned Sylvia Plath." He remarked, already turned back to his computer screen when Y/N looked over her shoulder at him.

"Reading Sylvia Plath's poetry makes me realize just why she put her head in an oven." Bruce snorted in laughter before schooling his features into a disapproving frown.

"At least Sharon can get you to turn in work. I'm still waiting for your calculations on those titrations." He reminded her and she waved her hand dismissively.

"You won't kill me for not handing it in on time. Agent Thirteen always seems one bad decision away from committing treason." Bruce laughed again, shaking his head. He liked Sharon, liked all the agents that stepped up to help take care of her homeschooling. It had taken some convincing on his part but he was dead set on making sure she got an education.

It was rare they got a weekend when no one was called out on some sort of mission so there was an unspoken rule that they all spent it together. Thor had even arrived back on Earth in time to partake, telling them all about his adventures among the cosmos. Y/N once again tried to convince him to bring her to space but he denied her again.

"Elon Musk would bring me." She pouted and Tony rolled his eyes.

"Elon Musk would leave you there," Tony promised, throwing a hotel at her. She took offence to this and threw three houses back. Pietro whined that it was always his real-estate that got thrown around and Y/N laughed.

She hadn't realized that Peter Parker, also known as Spiderman, was now a part of this tradition. When the elevator doors opened she looked up expecting the hodgepodge of different take-out they all ordered and instead found him with that same awkward smile and a duffel bag over his shoulder.

Tony abandoned their argument, calling Peter over to him. "Come here kid, help me beat the cheaters."

"We don't cheat," Y/N grumbled, stealing the final orange property she needed from the box and then a 500 note for herself and Pietro who grinned and added a hotel to the board.

"Ah, this must be the man of Spiders." Thor shook hands with Peter so heartily that Peter jerked back and forth with every shake of the God's hand. "He is not as much man as I expected."

Pietro and Y/N snickered together, returning two of Tony's hotels while he wasn't looking and exchanging the properties they needed.

"Don't know what's making you laugh. Tony says he's a month older than you." Steve whispered and slapped her hand when she tried to take a get-out-of-jail-free card that Tony had been saving.

The comment didn't have the desired effect Steve had wanted. She was over the moon to know she was still the baby of the group. If Peter tried to take that from her she'd break his fingers. She frowned to herself at the morbid thought before shrugging. She winced when she jarred her shoulder and Peter offered a nervous smile as he sat down across from them and surveyed the board.

"You're losing pretty badly, Mr. Stark," Peter informed the man who looked at the board and rolled his eyes so hard Y/N was sure he could see his brain.

"Start again, put Parker in. If I catch you cheating Y/N I'm getting Hill to ground you again." Tony warned.

"Can't ground me again until she ungrounds me this time." She mumbled, resetting the pieces and returning most of the money, hiding a crumpled 500 under her thigh. Steve nudged her and shook his head but she only smiled and he let her away with it.

"You're grounded again?" Peter asked, dealing out the money. Tony had given up his place as the banker, claiming it caused premature aging. Pietro reminded him there was nothing premature about his aging.

"I'm always grounded. That's what happens when every agent you piss off decides to become an authority figure in your life. Pretty soon I expect to be out on the raft exchanging sexual favors with butch lesbians for some tobacco." She explained and Peter snorted.

"Make sure to find the buchest lesbian and stay on her good side. A prison wife is nothing to pass up." Peter warned and Y/N afforded him a smile.

Maybe he wasn't so bad.

[taglist: @llamadramaonthefarma ]

[kerra-and-company]

❛ i am in love with a moment we never had. ❜ for anyone who takes your fancy, if you're accepting them?

I am indeed accepting these! (Well, I was, but if anyone else ever wants to send in prompts they're more than welcome, so I technically still am :D ) Thanks a bunch for the prompt! Warnings: mentioned injuries/broken bones, some spoilers for LWS2 and HoT I can’t sleep. I may have twisted my ankle and I’m certain I’ve broken my wrist. There is only so much good being a healer can do when you’re alone and exhausted, I suppose. At least I’m hidden well enough from Mordrem for the time being. The only visitors to my tree-hollow hiding place have been a few particularly bright-colored parrots. Of all things to survive the fleet’s destruction, my pen is still with me. I don't have much paper, but as long as I’m awake, I will write. It’ll be something to find someday, perhaps, if my life is cut short sooner than I’d like.

Mother, was Mordremoth this loud for you? He was asleep when you died and yet the pressure was still too much for you to bear. He wants me to give in, give up. I won’t. Never. I am not saying you gave up, just… [Pen marks trail off, alongside some jagged scribbles.] I should not use this to talk to the dead. It is not helping. Nish, I’m glad you were not with us, but I’m not fool enough to think you won’t follow. Be safe. Don’t listen to him. You are stronger than you have ever believed. I love you, and you’d better make it out of this jungle alive or I will crawl through the Mists and kill you myself. Ker, you’re with Nish, I’d guess. Do not feel bad for not suffering with us. I am certain you’re suffering enough for having missed it, and for learning the truth about our people so late. I would have told you, Nish would have told you, had we known that you didn’t know. Perhaps Nish did tell you, for all I know. Regardless, I am sorry, and what I said to Nish applies to you as well. Live, Ker. You deserve that, and don’t forget it. ‘Hearne, I have the most unsaid where you’re concerned. Stay alive. Please. **** I have managed to heal my ankle, but some of the sylvari-turned-Mordrem—they call themselves the Mordrem Guard—are crackshot snipers, and there is a new hole in my shoulder. Holding this pen hurts. I burnt my fingers channeling fire, which is entirely my own fault and a very basic mistake. Don’t laugh. **** Relatively quiet, except for my thoughts. It’s unnerving. I’ve yet to find anyone else, save a few corpses, which is not particularly encouraging. I'm running out of space. I can’t decide if I’m hoping no one reads this or that you all do. ‘Hearne, I am in love with a moment we’ve never had, and so many that we have. Your dedication, how hard you try, the lilt of your voice. I should have told you sooner, and I may never forgive myself for not doing so. I love you. I’ll write you a song if when we get out of this. Ker, I’m writing poetry to your brother alone in Maguuma. I wish you could read it. I wish I could hear you laugh. I’ll toss a coin your way next time we meet, Lightbringer. Nish, you are the best sibling anyone could have asked for. Take care of yourself, now and always. I promise that I’m doing my best not to die. I’ll see you soon. - Rel

[spicycreativity]

Soft-Shoe Shuffle - Ch 1

Chapter: 1/12 Rating: T (for language) Content Warnings: Canon-typical Remus content. This chapter only: alcohol use Characters: All Pairings: Moceit, background Prinxiety, background Intrulogical (yes I played a little game of "pair the spares") Additional Tags: Hey it's the fic I published on Anon because I was embarrassed of how utterly pretentious it is!, post-PoF, sickfic, dirty poetry, humor interspersed with philosophy and Janus-typical pontification, this is VERY speculative and will get Jossed in the future lmao Summary: After claiming his place in the Light and coming face-to-face with the consequences of his actions, Janus finds himself unwillingly re-calibrating his moral compass. For selfish reasons, of course. But one apology snowballs into several, and soon he's running around the Mindscape with a low-grade fever and a guilty conscience as he desperately tries to regain some sense of self. Oh, and he's definitely not falling in love with Patton, so don't even bring it up. One Last Note: I wrote this in an ADHD fugue state. It is HEAVILY influenced by Dostoyevsky's Crime and Punishment, but there are also references to poetry and various other works of literature. I also deliberately used symbols, themes, and motifs. Most of them are pretty in your face except for the recurring ouroboros, which is used as a symbol of rebirth. ...Told you it was pretentious.

When you wake up to the promise of your dream world comin' true With one less friend to call on, was it someone that I knew? Away you will go sailing in a race among the ruins If you plan to face tomorrow, do it soon

Janus appeared in the Dark side of the Mindscape, elation swelling in his chest. Even the ringing headache and bitter taste in his mouth couldn't hollow the unfamiliar triumph that warmed him to the core. Caught up in his own thoughts, it took a moment for him to register the sight before him: Remus, upside-down on the couch, his brow furrowed and face an alarming shade of purple.

For a moment, Janus stood stock-still as he tried to get his bearings. He must have been more flustered than he'd realized-- He'd been aiming for his bedroom.

But here he was, staring down at Remus, who was definitely going to burst a blood vessel (or several) if he didn't flip over soon.

"That's not horrifying at all," Janus said, thinking it would be rude to dismiss Remus, especially since he had probably been eavesdropping. He had likely heard everything. Everything. Even the ugly parts.

"Do you remember when Thomas read that post about Nutty Putty Cave?" Remus asked in a strained, strangled voice. "That spelunker who died because he got stuck upside-down?"

"No," Janus said, before realizing his mistake. "Yes." He definitely wanted Remus to remind him of the gory details.

"That's what I thought," Remus said with a wicked grin.

Janus sighed through his nose. Remus, though he thrived on attention, seemed content enough to continue his experiment by himself. On the other hand, if Janus didn't bring up a certain insult he'd levied at Roman, Remus most certainly would, and at a time where it would cause the most upset and turmoil. Better for Janus to deal with it now, even if he would have to fight the tension pulling his muscles taut. He wanted to dance. He wanted to scream.

Hesitation proved to be Janus' downfall, and by the time he'd opened his mouth to broach the subject at hand, Remus had beaten him to the blow. "You're not usually this quiet, Oralboros. Snake got your tongue?"

Janus, again, sighed. Rather than answer, he doffed his hat, set it on the coffee table, and clumsily arranged himself upside-down next to Remus. The change in position immediately made his head throb. He ignored it. "I definitely meant it when I called you 'evil'."

Remus' eyes widened in faux-shock. "You called me evil ?" he shrieked, voice ringing out high and clear. "Me? How dare you. I'm an angel!"

At least Remus was taking it well. "Sarcasm is my thing," Janus said, realizing that he might make it out of this without having to properly apologize.

For some reason, Patton's face flashed into his mind, and a subsequent twinge of guilt made his tongue go sour. Fine. If there was ever a time to start telling uncomfortable truths… "But I am sorry I said that."

"Wow!" Remus laughed. "You must be upset." A red stain began to spill across his left eye. "You don't apologize."

"It’s not like I care about your feelings or anything." Janus would have liked to have drawn himself up to his full height, but it was impossible to do while upside-down. "As much as I'm enjoying watching your blood vessels slowly burst, would you please turn over before you hurt yourself? I've suffered enough psychological trauma for today."

"Oh, fine." Remus kicked his legs and landed neatly on his toes like a gymnast.

Janus, by contrast, got his arms tangled in his capelet and nearly folded himself in half before he found his balance again. "I meant to do that," he said, turning to grab his hat so Remus wouldn't see the blush on his face.

The sudden sensation of blood draining from his head made the room whirl. He steadied himself against Remus' shoulder until it slowed somewhat, but nothing could dampen the horrible ringing in his ears.

"Well," he said, adjusting his shirt. The sudden appearance of his conscience had taken the wind out of his sails more than he cared to admit, and all thoughts of dancing bled out of him along with a good deal of energy. "I'm not going to go scream into my pillows until I tire myself out."

"Being an agent of chaos is hard work," Remus said with a sage nod, "but that doesn't sound very relaxing, Mr Self Care."

"It's a form of meditation, if you think about it," Janus said.

Remus made a face. "You know I don't do that."

"...Meditate?"

"No, think."

"Ah. Well." Janus made only a token attempt to hide his fond smile. "Good night, Remus. Please stay up late and injure yourself."

"Can do, Snakeypoo.”

Janus turned. It was close enough, he might as well walk to his bedroom, especially considering how well his last attempt at appearing in it had gone.

The reason why that had been so difficult became apparent in mere moments. Janus froze in the hall and dropped to his knees at the giddy wave of horror and delight that made him too light-headed to stand.

He knelt in front of the empty stretch of wall where his door had been previously.  Heat flooded his face.

"Jay?" The rounded toes of Remus' boots appeared in his line of sight. Janus zeroed in on them, the mud splatters and stains on the soft leather. "You have an aneurysm or what?"

Janus, unable to speak, motioned for Remus to turn around. He couldn't deal with this right now.

"Ohhh," said Remus. "Well. Good luck with that ." He hauled Janus to his feet. "So you're a boner fide good guy now, huh?"

Janus stared over Remus' shoulder at the empty stretch of wall where his door used to be. "That depends entirely on who you ask."

Remus shrugged and rose up on his toes. "You can scream into my pillows instead, if you want."

"As tempting as that is…" Janus trailed off, his eyes still fixed on the wall. It was tempting, despite the constant chaos in Remus' room. But he'd have to face the Light side sooner or later. It wasn't like he could move his room back, not without psychologically damaging Thomas and undoing all the work he'd done. "I'm really looking forward to getting insulted some more."

"Alright," Remus said with a shrug. "Try not to throw me under the bus this time, alright? Unless it's a real bus…" His gaze became dreamy, unfocused. "And it's doing 50 in a school zone and there's a whole pack of screaming kids in the crosswalk--"

"Goodbye, Remus." Janus turned and left.

--

The barrier between the "dark" and the "light" sides of Thomas' brain had been a joint venture. It would have been there in some form no matter what, but it was Janus and Roman (with Patton's tacit blessing) who had worked to put up something more physical between them.

Janus ducked under the red curtain, trepidation percolating in his stomach, but what he found on the other side was anticlimactic to say the least: It was dead silent on this side of the barrier.

Janus wasn't sure what he'd been expecting. He knew by now that the so-called "Lights" had issues working out their interpersonal issues, and this most recent conflict wasn't the kind of thing you just got over. It did follow that they would all go off to lick their wounds for a time.

Hesitantly, toe-to-heel, Janus crept down the hall. It felt for all the world like he was sneaking around a vast hotel, right down to needlessly ornate design on the plush carpeting. That was probably Roman's doing.

Janus focused, trying to call the Mindscape to work for him. He wanted to go to his room.

The Mindscape listened. Janus turned a corner and found a row of doors stretching down yet another brightly-lit corridor. His eye was immediately drawn, not to the brilliant yellow of his own door, but to the figure huddled in front of it: Patton sat with his arms wrapped around his legs, forehead resting on his knees.

"Looking for someone?" Janus asked, slightly louder than necessary.

Patton jerked his head up. "Oh! Janus!" He plastered an unconvincing smile on his face. "You sure pop star-tled me."

Scaring Patton hadn't brought Janus nearly the level of schadenfreude he'd thought it would. He crossed his arms over his chest, extending a third to help Patton up. "Take your time getting to the point.”

"Oh." Patton accepted Janus' proffered hand and got to his feet. Warmth spilled from him, permeating the fabric of Janus' glove and gently heating his palm. "Well, it's just…" He took a deep breath. "I noticed your door and I thought-- Well, I wanted to make you feel welcome!"

A high-pitched tone resonated in Janus' skull. He bit down on the inside of his cheek to keep from wincing at the mounting pressure-pain-exhaustion in his temples. "Aren't you just a saint ." Patton's face fell. Janus fought the urge to swear aloud. He usually had a better handle on himself, and he knew better than to alienate potential allies. "I mean, thank you, Patton. Truly. I appreciate it." Patton had proven himself useful. Janus should at least cultivate that relationship, even if it meant a little discomfort.

"Have you eaten?" Patton asked. "It's a little late, but I could make something if you wanted." He paused. "Maybe we could play cards or something." Another pause. "O-only if you want to, I mean."

Janus let his face remain impassive even as he internally cringed at the idea of staying awake for even another second. It would be so easy to brush Patton off with a few honeyed words and disappear beyond the barrier of his door. But Patton had stood up for him today, or at least he'd tried to. Janus sighed. Quid pro quo. "That sounds like an utter waste of time."

"Are you… I'm sorry, sometimes I can't tell when you're…"

"Yes, Patton. That sounds lovely."

Patton actually hopped in place, an adorable little jig that absolutely didn't send a confusing little shockwave of fondness through Janus' ribcage. "Really?"

"Really," Janus lied.

He followed Patton down the hall into the living room, which opened into the dining room and the kitchen. Janus studied his surroundings, trying to take in as much as his exhausted faculties would allow. Even in the absence of other Sides, the living room felt warm and welcoming. All the lights were on, and they bathed everything in gentle golden light .

"You're awfully quiet," Patton said.

Janus shook himself. "I was just getting my bearings."

"I guess you've never really been over here, huh?" Pattton opened the refrigerator. Was he actually going to cook , instead of just manifesting something? How quaint. "Do you like grilled cheese?"

It had been a long, confusing day. Doublespeak came to Janus as naturally as breathing, but he was obviously running circles around Patton even when he wasn't trying to. "Yes," he said, hoping to telegraph his sincerity by not emoting at all.

It seemed to work. Patton studied him for a moment before turning back to the fridge. "Then that's what I'll make."

Janus took advantage of this temporary distraction to clamber onto one of the barstools. The slick velvet of his capelet tended to disagree with surfaces like wood and vinyl, and he needed a moment to arrange things so he didn't look as unbalanced as he felt.

He watched Patton work in the kitchen, a detached coolness washing out the scene. Quid pro quo, he reminded himself when he felt his facade begin to slip. He owed Patton this.

He certainly didn't feel the slightest twinge of guilt, that he had been the one to orchestrate this breakdown. Yes, the Light Sides had loaded the gun, but in the end it was Janus who had pulled the trigger.

He shook his head and thought about playing cards, good Bicycle playing cards with holes punched through them like they'd come from a casino. "What should we play?" he asked, pulling the deck from his breast pocket.

Patton looked up from the stovetop, his eyes flicking to the cards in Janus' hand. "Do you know Kings in the Corners?"

"Not personally, no."

Patton laughed, but there was something cold about it. "It's really simple," he said. "I'll show you how to play and you can tell me if you like it."

--

It was nearly impossible to cheat at Kings in the Corners. Janus doubted this had been a calculated measure on Patton's part, doubted he had the capacity for that kind of foresight, but he respected it just the same.

They played in funereal silence, staring each other down across the light wood of the dining room table. Janus, ill-inclined to take off his gloves, utilized a napkin to keep from staining them with melted butter from the grilled cheese Patton had made. Neither one of them smiled. Neither one of them spoke.

Janus pulled a card from the deck to indicate the end of his turn and glanced up at Patton. His face was somber, almost sorrowful, and it clashed against the gentle domesticity of the dining room, with its floral table runner and mismatched placemats.

Janus started to laugh.

"What is it?" Patton asked, cheeks darkening. "What? Do I have something on my face?"

Janus swallowed down another peal of laughter and cleared his throat, unable to wholly restrain the smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "You look like I’m holding you here at gunpoint." It was somewhat ironic, considering Janus was the one who felt like he couldn't leave.

"What?" Patton smiled, but it was more akin to an offering than an expression of joy.

"It’s not really funny. " Janus wasn’t quite sure how to make Patton understand.

Patton sat back with a sigh, placing his cards facedown on the table. "But I guess it is pretty funny, huh? In a really sad way."

Janus almost asked what was sad about it before realizing that Patton probably missed his friends. Instead he said, "Yes" and stifled a yawn behind his free hand.

"I'll make coffee!" Patton leapt to his feet and was off to the kitchen before Janus could so much as blink.

The newfound solitude made it that much harder for Janus to ignore his headache, which had only worsened in the hour or so he'd been playing cards with Patton. Despite the nonchalant facade he'd tried so hard to project, he'd been holding himself tense.

Maybe the night (or morning, at this point) would be easier to tolerate if he had, say, a bit of gold rum.

The corner of a flask dug into Janus' hip. He smiled.

"Just how late are you planning on staying up?" he asked Patton when the latter returned holding two mismatched mugs.

"Oh, I don't know," Patton said. Lied. He set a mug down in front of Janus and then resumed his seat, the cards forgotten by his elbow. "I'm… A little scared of what tomorrow will be like."

Janus eased the flask out of his pocket. "Rum?"

"Oh, um," Patton said, staring at the flask. "I don't know…"

Janus raised an eyebrow, working something out. He landed on it a millisecond later: Patton wanted to be convinced. Easy enough. Janus opened the flask and poured what he hoped was a shot into his own mug. It was black, he noticed, except for the yellow snake that wrapped around it, its tail firmly in its own mouth. Ouroboros. "Surely you don't intend to make me drink alone?"

As Janus had expected, Patton buckled the second he was pushed. "I guess not."

It was funny, Janus mused as he carefully tipped rum into Patton's coffee, how lying was only off-limits when Janus suggested it. Hilarious.

But now wasn't the time for bitterness, now was the time to repay the debt he owed Patton. "Cheers," he said, pocketing the flask once more.

"Cheers."

Janus sipped his coffee. "You put milk in this," he observed.

Patton's smile was surprisingly sly. "I know you want me to think you take it black. Virgil did too, at first. I know you ‘Dark Sides’ have an image you like to uphold."

"And how does Virgil take his coffee now?" Janus asked, lifting an eyebrow.

"With Snickers-flavored creamer."

"Well, I do take my coffee black," Janus lied.

Patton's smile never faltered. "We'll see, kid-- Uh, Janus."

"Patton," Janus said, before he could start thinking about the implications of Patton wanting to call him 'kiddo,' "you are planning on sleeping tonight, aren't you?"

"Maybe eventually," Patton said, suddenly unable to look Janus in the eye. "At some point."

"Tomorrow will come whether or not you sleep. It's definitely better to pull an all-nighter and feel like garbage instead of facing everything with a clear head."

"I know." Patton leaned forward so he could rest his head on his hand.

For a moment, Janus was tempted to mirror him. Sitting up straight was becoming quite the chore. "I know how the others love a calm, rational discussion."

"Oh, I wish." Patton's expression turned wistful.

Janus stifled a yawn behind his hand. He had half-expected the coffee to counteract the depressant effect of the alcohol, but all he had to show for the combination was a racing heart.

"I'll be fine out here if you want to go to bed," Patton said. Without seeming to realize he was doing it, he brought his hand to his mouth and bit down on his thumbnail.

It was a tempting offer. A day ago, Janus would have taken it. After all, it wasn't like he cared about Patton outside of professional courtesy. They weren't friends. But guilt nagged at him and wouldn't let him entertain the idea of abandoning Patton for longer than a second.

"That's a remarkable impression of a window," Janus said, waiting for Patton to look confused before elaborating, "I can see right through you."

"You got me." Patton smiled sadly. "That's something I've always admired about you, Janus."

Now it was Janus' turn to be confused. "What?"

"You're so… clever."

Janus narrowed his eyes. "Please do keep trying to change the subject."

"It's just… I don't want to have to lie there and, and think about today and everything I did wrong. I hurt Thomas. I hurt my friends." Patton's eyes were shiny behind his glasses; the unshed tears sparkled in the light when he locked eyes with Janus. "Aren't you going to think about the same thing?"

Anger flared, perhaps prematurely, in Janus' chest. "About what you did wrong today?"

"About what you did wrong," Patton said timidly.

"I," Janus said icily, "didn't do anything wrong." He stared Patton down across the table, jaw set, daring him to push back. Let him lecture and nag, let him prove that he hadn't changed no matter what he said.

But Patton only nodded, his face lined with misery. "Okay," he softly. "I think you're right, Janus. We should go to bed."

Janus thought about how much faster he could get to bed if the table was cleared, and all the dishes and cards vanished in a blink.

"Um, Janus?" Patton said.

"Yes?"

"I don't regret everything that happened today."

"Oh?"

Patton only nodded and sank out.

Janus made a beeline for his own room; better to find his way there on foot rather than risk appearing in the wrong spot.

Once inside, he looked around to ensure nothing was amiss, eyes roving over the dark wood of his bookshelves and desk, his mirrored closet doors, the leather armchairs across from his bed.

Everything was exactly as Janus had left it. He nodded, satisfied, set his hat on the nightstand, and sprawled out of top of the covers without bothering to further undress.

One hazy thought crawled to the surface of his mind before he fell asleep: At least he wouldn't be one of the regrets haunting Patton tonight.