#i'm not a therapist tho (yet) just a psychology nerd so consult a professional before you try to confront your fears!

[dragonqueenbizawagi]

Dick didn't know where it went wrong. Well... not exactly. Looking back Dick could see the nervousness he'd mistaken for anticipation. Danny had acted so happy to see the circus for him that he hadn't seen his excitement for what it really was - fear. Running through the tents he definitely wasn't allowed in he mentally kicked himself for not seeing the signs for what they were. Danny was a good actor it seemed but that's no excuse. Dick knows the rules for dealing with traumatized kids. No expressing strong feelings when suggesting something to them - they'll feel pressured to agree. Dick had gotten blinded by his own love for the circus when Danny first mentioned being a part of one once, and now his so- Danny was paying the price.

Pausing to look around Dick heard something. A soft voice making comforting sounds. As he followed the noise he heard the sound of sniffling with it. Danny's voice chimed in as Dick got close enough to make out words.

"No, it's not okay! I ruined the day for him! All I had to do was keep my stupid fear under wraps for a few hours and I couldn't even do that! The stupid lights and sounds got to me and then the ringmaster's face morphed into his and-" Danny's words broke off into choked sobs and Dick's heart broke as he listened, but before he could rush in to hug him the calm voice from before spoke up.

"Hey, no! It is NOT your fault! Alright? Listen to me. It is NOT your fault for having a panic attack, okay? If your 'stupid' fear is that strong then there's no way you /could've/ controlled it. Especially not with the lights and sounds and everything like that all at once. And it is not your responsibility to suck it up and have a good time. It's your adult's job to bring you to stuff YOU want to go to. If you tell them you don't like something and they take you anyway then that's their fault, not yours."

Danny whispered something that didn't reach Dick's ears from where he was... well, now lurking behind the wall of the tent. Just outside of the entrance and using his stealth to not alert his surprisingly alert kid to his presence.

"What?" asked the voice.

"I didn't tell him!" said Danny, louder. "I couldn't! He was so excited when I brought up that I'd been in a circus too that I couldn't bring myself to tell him that..." He paused as he took in a shaky breath. "That it wasn't a good thing to me. And! I really did want to enjoy this! I thought, maybe if I went to a normal circus I could see it how it's supposed to be - how he sees it. He shares stories with me that make the circus sound so cool! I wanted to feel like that when I think of tents and clowns, not like... this..." Danny's voice trailed off as he finished his thought.

Dick suddenly felt better and worse. Better in that it hadn't been entirely because of him, and that some of that excitement had in fact been real - and worse in that Danny's words had confirmed that he went because Dick wanted to go. Because he had gotten too caught up in his own excitement to pay enough attention to Danny's true feelings.

"That's a good goal kid, but overcoming trauma doesn't work like that. Lot of people try to force themselves or others to face their fears, but that only works if you're in control the whole time. Think about it, you don't cure someone's fear of water by shoving them into the deep end, right? So next time you want to overcome your fears, make sure you can back out at any time and you've got friend or trusted therapist or someone there to hold your hand and reassure you the whole time. Your adult could have done that if he'd known. If you say, 'Hey, I'm really excited to go to the circus with you but also really nervous because the last time I went didn't go too great and I'm still a bit scared. Can we avoid x when we go there?' or, 'Can we leave if it gets too much at any point?' then I'm sure he would be happy to help! And if he isn't, just let me know and I'll knock some sense into him!" Danny giggled at their joking threat. Dick smiled and relaxed at the sound.

"Thanks. I don't think I'll need to take you up on that offer, but thanks." With that Dick decided enough lurking was enough, he didn't want to become Bruce after all. He backed up a little before running to peer into the tent. "Danny?" he called, putting on his best worried dad™ face (he learned from Bruce AND from dealing with his siblings).

As Danny saw him Dick expected him to shrink back up in guilt or panic at what Dick would think, acting like the traumatized boy Dick should have seen him as. Instead, Danny surprised him by running up and hugging him, mumbling apologies into his shirt as he held on tight. Dick wasted no time wrapping his arms around his kid in a patented Grayson Octopus Hug™ that Danny seemed to be giving in turn. He noted the lady with butterfly face paint watching them with a soft smile, but ignored her for now in favor of reassuring Danny as the kid slowly unstuck his face from Dick's chest. Straightening up up so he could hook his chin over Dick's shoulder to talk better, he spoke.

"I'm sorry I ran off like that"

"No no, hey! It's okay! I'm not mad or anything, you don't need to apologize. How are you - are you alright?" Dick pulled back to look Danny over, noting the obvious red eyes and tear tracts down his face, but also the possibly bruised knuckles that Danny started to hide.

"I'm fine, mostly... I've calmed down a bit now. I-" he paused to shift nervously, "I don't really remember what happened after I got called on." Danny's small voice echoed his body language as he shrank in on himself again.

"Well, you panicked and punched the ringleader after he grabbed you without asking, and I will be having a word with him about that later, don't you worry. Had to punch him twice before he actually let go," Dick almost growled this part. He wanted to believe that the man had just startled and held on in shock, but he was already an asshole for grabbing a clearly reluctant volunteer in the first place. Dick never understood why some Ringleaders went specifically for the shy or nervous ones, as Haley had never done that and in fact had been adamantly against it. Shows go so much better when you're not dealing with a panicky and therefore unpredictable volunteer. Hopefully this example would dissuade the ringleader from doing it again.

"And then you ran off and I followed. I got held up by the crowd a bit and you were damn fast, so I lost you, but I'm here now!" Dick finished, wrapping Danny up in another bear hug. He had so many questions he wanted to fire off in return but Danny could tell him when he was ready, for now Dick had to make sure to reassure him so that he didn't ever feel like he had to pretend for Dick's sake ever again. "I'm so sorry I didn't pick up on your anxiety sooner, kiddo. I thought it was just nerves from excitement, but, it was something more wasn't it?" Danny winced at that and hid his face in Dick's shoulder once more. Dick just rubbed Danny's back as he waited for Danny to compose himself.

"Yeah..." Danny said, "I- I kinda forgot to mention that I'm terrified of circuses... and ringleaders in particular..." Dick's grip tightened as he realized that Danny's anxiety had only really become visible when the ringleader got involved. Before he could say anything though, Danny continued, "It's just- you got so excited when you talk about the circus! I couldn't tell you to stop talking about it. And I really did want to go! I just-" Dick cut him off.

"Danny. You don't owe me anything, you hear me? Yeah, I wanted to go to the circus, but that's because I wanted to spend time with you! I thought it was something you enjoyed and I figured it was something I could relate to you with. I love listening to you talk about space but I can't do that with you, so I jumped at the first sign of something we could do together! I'm sorry I let that blind me for so long."

"Nah, it's not your fault. I've had plenty of practice pretending I'm not terrified when my parents talk about their interests. And like I said, I really did want to go! I really started liking trapeze and tightrope stuff when you showed me, and I thought I could just push down my fear and ignore the ringleader and just enjoy the day. Remind myself it's not the same circus and all. But... I guess it didn't work so well, huh?" Danny split off with a nervous grin as he rubbed the back of his neck, looking away. Dick frowned as he processed all that.

"Okay, we'll be coming back to that part about your parents later, as well as why you hate circuses and ringleaders in the first place, but we can discuss that in private back home. For now, just know that I love you, and if something is ever bothering you like this again, talk to me! We don't ever have to something for fun that you don't want to do! And if it's something necessary? Like doctor's visits, or something you still want to do buuuuut- ...then let me know, and I'll help you find a way to get through it. Okay? Just- promise me you won't pretend for my sake. Deal?"

Danny softens at Dick's unwavering love and support. "Deal!" He says, attention finally flicking over to the lady who had helped him earlier, who had busied herself with setting up her face paints. "Oh, ancients! I'm so sorry, we can go now! You're clearly busy! Sorry for intruding!"

"No no, it's quite alright!" The lady said with a smile, her expression contorting the butterfly on her face, making its sparkly wings move. "In fact you've still got plenty of time before the show ends and my shift starts if you'd like to get your face painted to cheer you up! On the house!"

"Really?" Danny asked, clearly nervous about taking up any more of the woman's time. "I wouldn't want to overstay my welcome..."

"Of course! Consider it an apology on behalf of the circus crew who think singling out the most nervous volunteers isn't the nicest thing to do," the woman said with a wry smile. Clearly Dick wasn't the only one who hated that move. "Otherwise, feel free to head home early, or try to go back and finish the show if you feel up to it. Or you're welcome to just hang out here and collect yourself a bit more until my customers come. I really don't mind!" She looked at Danny never once addressing the other adult in the room, instead making sure the kid knows it's their choice. Smart! Clearly this woman was good at working with kids (or technically teenager in this case).

Nonetheless, Danny still looked at Dick nervously as he weighed his options. Dick pulled him into a loose side hug and said, "Whatever you want kiddo, I'll be here," which seemed to be the right thing to say as Danny let out a breath and relaxed into his hold.

"Yeah, I'd like some face paint actually," Danny said, a tired smile on his face as the stress and adrenaline from his earlier panic attack finally started to wear off. "Thanks for helping me calm down earlier, by the way. Oh! And I never got your name!"

She smiled and waved off his gratitude, saying, "It's no problem! And my name's Adelaide, but you can call me Miss Addy. Now please, sit down! What would you like me to paint?" Danny mulled it over for a second.

"You got anything about space?"

Small prompt idea.

Danny is Dicks son. Dick takes him to a circus in order to bond with his newly found son and share with him something he holds dear. However maybe

1)Danny hates/petrified of the circus cause of freakshow. This causes him to panic and/or bolt. (Accidentally punch the ringmaster that looks kinda like freakshow?)

2)He mentions off-hand that he was part of a circus once did tightrope. Dick is ecstatic and thinks this is awesome. Until he finds out the circumstances, that is.

3) Just loudly declares he hates the circus when someone brings it up at family dinner. *metaphorically breaking his Dad's heart, who is already so stressed trying to be a good dad*