#i'm mostly stuck in my bed so the interaction is really nice!

[bisexualamy]

I'm also really an open book about answering phallo questions (general or specific) it just may take me a day or two to answer them. ik there's a lot of misinfo around this surgery and even tho i'm just one person ik sometimes it can help to ask someone directly.

[thekoalapastriesbakery]

TURN OUT FINE PART 1

logan sargeant x australian!male!driver!reader

PART ONE / PART TWO

summary: being an f1 driver was enough for most people—including your boyfriend—but after he gets dropped mid-season, you decide it's time for something more.

warnings: mild angst, reader isn't particularly interactive, not a lot of writing, mostly told through instagram posts, based on the song turn out fine by henrik

youruser

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, and 892200 others

youruser i was overthinking

                comments

user1 i love how even when he's struggling he's like priority #1 is humiliate the grid liked by youruser, alex_albon, and others

user2 no don't overthink you're so sexy aha

user3 IS THAT A SOFT LAUNCH???

user4 FR WHY IS NOBODY TALKING ABT THIS???

user5 call me crazy but that is a man as well liked by pierregasly, zhouguanyu24, and others

user6 user5 nurse she's out again

user5 YOU'LL SEE

user7 how is his feed still aesthetic when he's depressed AND making fun of people

youruser

liked by jackdoohan, olliebearman, and 929106 others

youruser my mama was right

                comments

user8 where did you get that shirt i need it

youruser sorry love, went op shopping and it doesn't have a tag :(

user8 adhggffieyhsldk

user9 i think she's broken

user10 man i would be too if THEEE y/n l/n called me love

user11 user10 🤨

user10 user 11 no babe look away this doesn't concern you

user12 is nobody gonna ask what op shopping is? liked by charles_leclerc, nicorosberg, and others

user13 LMAO NOT THE DRIVERS LIKING THIS AS IF THEY COULDN'T JUST ASK HIM liked by youruser

user14 op shopping is what aussies call thrift shopping!

fernandoalo_oficial am i what the kids call a meme

youruser yes 👍

user15 is that a man in the last slide?

user16 yes? it's y/n?

user15 no i mean with him

user17 i don't think so, i mean y/n doesn't exactly strike me as fruity

user18 user17 you're kidding right? that man could not be gayer if he TRIED

youruser

liked by paularon_, prema_team, and 782919 others

youruser chase what you believe in

                comments

user19 go dad!

kimimatiasraikkonen 😐

youruser 🧊🧍‍♂️!!!

kimimatiasraikkonen 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦🍝?

youruser �� liked by kimimatiasraikkonen

user20 did they really just make dinner plans in an instagram comments section?

user21 slides 3+4 making me want a y/n.jpg acc :(

user22 WHY IS HE STILL SOFT LAUNCHING

user23 don't be shy dad we'll be nice

user24 no we won't

user25 no we won't

youruser no you won't

yukitsunoda0511 why did you use that photo ?

youruser sorry its my brand to make fun of people

yukitsunoda0511 i made you sushi ???

youruser and i'm very grateful! 🙃

user26 oh he really does not gaf 😭

yukitsunoda0511 user26 🥲

youruser

liked by f1, scuderiaferrari, and 2345890 others

youruser it won't happen overnight 🫶

                comments

user27 aww who's the kitty?

youruser smoky!

user28 forget the kitty who are you KISSING? liked by jensonbutton, lewishamilton, and others

user29 user28 lol even the grid dads wanna know

mickschumacher 🫶?

youruser 🫶

mickschumacher 🫶!

user30 what if it's mick??

user31 okay grandma let's get you back to bed

user5 it's defo a driver but i'm thinking logan!

user6 please stop

user5 user6 you're no fun

georgerussell63 IT WAS AN EMOTIONAL MOMENT OKAY

youruser i think your face made that pretty clear but thanks 👍

georgerussell63 i regret agreeing to let you be designated driver

youruser tough luck, you're stuck with me

©thekoalapastriesbakery :: please do not copy or rewrite my work on any platform !!

author's note: second ever smau, i was in a logan mood when i wrote this. part two coming soon!

comments + reblogs appreciated!

credits: pinterest for the photos!

taglist: @raizelchrysanderoctavius @crispysoup318 @op-81-lvr-reblogs @spoonfulofmilo

[x22817]

I'm using this blog mostly as a way to vent about both the good and the not so good.

If you'd like to listen to the not so good, here you go

Be warned

Is long

I am calling it. My family managed to undo years of training in one weekend. I am kind of stuck on what to do now.

I'm probably overreacting but in my defense she's never pulled me, like, actually pulled me before.

Long story short: my uncle passed, my father was not taking it well, and we flew home to go to the funeral and spend the weekend with family.

My mother is great. She knows the SD rules I have in place for Hek: she's labeled, she's working. Pretty simple. My mother will even body block people who don't listen to (one of the loudest people I have ever met) her tell them "don't distract her, she's working to keep my daughter safe" in her big scary momma bear voice.

My father is fucking horrible. I think sometimes his heart is in the right place because he will talk about how beautiful our relationship is and how he couldn't begin to comprehend the love and support we give each other (those could be quotes btw he actually sounds like that). But he doesn't understand service dog vs. any dog. Any time he desires he turns into a toddler. Full on grabby hands, high pitched "hiiiiiii pretty pretty pretty pretty" and just dives for Hek. Doesn't matter what I say or do. Needless to say, we don't see hin often for more than just this reason.

Now, on to the trip:

I texted into the family group chat (which is actually an email thread with like 300 people in it) that Hek was coming with me. I haven't seen anyone in 7 years for various reasons, so none of them have met Hek before. They were all incredibly supportive, knowledgeable, and respectful. I am so incredibly grateful for my family.

The trip itself was mixed. Hek was really, really stinking good. Going through the airport and TSA was a breeze. The first agent who patted us down actually squealed when he was given the task. His boss shouted from the other side of the room' "stay professional!"

We landed on Friday at noon. My parents wanted to go to the mall and then we would have dinner with some close family members. The mall was totally normal. No problems, nothing. Dinner was our first hiccup. Hek was on her bed next to me at the end of the table. My father felt compelled to say hi to Hek between courses. That's how everyone around us found out there was a service dog in the restaurant.

There were people who I had never met before because they were friends of my uncle who passed. None of them tried to fuck with Hek until we were getting ready to leave. All three of them made a super big scene all at once. They fuckin cornered Hek and I and all three of them came after her at once. None of them would listen to me, so I resorted to just trying to get out of the corner and create space. They fucking followed us. I had to drag Hek out from under one of the women who was fully hugging her around her stomach and ran into the bathroom. I was pissed. It stressed Hek out as much as it stressed me out!

Saturday morning we went into a church together for the first time. And we stood at the door for 45 minutes, greeting everyone who came to the funeral. It was fantastic. Hek did a down stay behind me the whole time. Most people didn't even notice her, and the few who did all confirmed she's working don't interact. She walked down the aisle with me to bring the offerings for the service, and everyone ooooed and awwwwwed. Still, no one fucked with her. This was mostly to prove to my father. I could do it because he didn't believe I could hold the water and wine while the leash at the same time. I used the cross body hands free that I dislike just because my regular one didn't look nice on my outfit. Yes, I'm apparently turning into a girly girl.

Moving on to the reception at my aunt's house. Everything was fine until about 2 hours in. My father's best friend, a complete asshole, showed up. I did my best to steer clear, but he cornered us before he left. He never said a word to me. He just went straight for Hek. I body slammed this man who is likely three times my size. I already wasn't feeling well, and I already don't like this guy. Hek did react to this by getting up to alert to me, sitting in front of me. He took it as his opportunity to bear hug her? I swear if he was anyone else, I would have grabbed his head and kneed him in the nose. Instead, I grabbed him by the shoulder and basically shoved him off my poor dear Bean.

What the fuck?!?

The final instance for the weekend was at dinner that evening. Another friend of my uncles showed up late. Hek and I were sitting at the end of the table. There was a little nook that I stuck her bed in, so she wasn't under the table, but she also wasn't in anyone's way. This man started making a scene as soon as he saw Hek from the other end of the hallway. By the time he got to Hek and I, my mother was standing, blocking his way. She did all the things I would have done (praise this woman). He says he understands and goes to sit down. Later on, he goes to the bathroom. I am eyeballing him on his way back down the hall because he is looking at Hek, still making noises, and holding his hand out to get her to sniff it (yes from like 15 feet away all the way down the hallway walling up to the table). When he gets close enough, I don't have to yell through the restaurant, I tell him to please stop, and she is still working. He complains but doesn't get much closer. I am very aware of this guy when we all get up to leave. I keep him on the other side of the whole group. We make it to the front of the restaurant while our party is in the process of walking out the doors he turns around, gets down on his knees, and starts walking on all fours toward Hek. I, and everyone else, is in shock for his first few steps, and he is practically throwing himself at her. I just pull her away from him but he does get to grab her harness.

WHAT THE FUCK

Sunday was fine. No family interactions. We flew home after sitting at the airport for about 4 hours. She did get goofy being pat down through TSA but that was really it.

Now, here is where our problems are showing:

A few days ago, I went to book club. It's at a bar. Hek was laying at my feet when some guy from across the table realized she was there and got down on all fours and crawled under the table to pat her. She broke her down stay on her bed. She came right back and laid down again when I told her to. But still.

Today, we were out for a walk. We walked past the apartment complex office, and one of the girls who I am friends with in there poked her head out to say hi. She said hi to Hek as she always does. But. Hek fucking pulled me to her. And then she proceeded to jump on her. Didn't respond to verbal commands, didn't respond to tugs. This is what prompted me to write this up.

I don't know what to do.

I am genuinely thinking about getting a martingale collar. This is mostly because I can not hold her with my hands when she pulls like that. We go for regular sniffy walks on a 6' regular leash. When working, she is on the hands free. Either way, I am genuinely considering doing this. I already have a 1' flat collar that she responds to very well in case of an emergency (yes that's what I'm calling this).

We did go out yesterday evening to our Kroger to get treats. She was perfectly fine. Ignored people, all that regular shit.

Today, on our longer afternoon walk, she actually pulled toward (albeit a very very reactive) dog on the other side of the street. Once again, didn't respond to verbal anything, didn't respond to tugs until the very end.

While we were out in Mass we went on hikes every day (see previous posts) and I had her off leash. No problems. We saw wildlife, perfect recall. We saw other people, perfect recall. We saw LOTS of dogs, perfect recall. I didn't even carry treats?!? It was super duper early in the mornings and I straight up forgot. Not a problem.

Idk wtf to do. Idk wtf to think. Idk if I'm overreacting or what. I feel like we lived in a really nice and polite bubble for so long. Hek grew up on a college campus, but it was like a dream. Everyone, and I mean everyone, was so kind and respectful. We never, ever, had anyone try to fuck with us.

I have heard of stories like these online. But they've never happened to us before. I know a big part of it is that we honestly don't go out in public a ton. Especially since I graduated, we hardly go anywhere except the grocery store.

[synintheraven]

GET TO KNOW YOUR MUTUALS

Was tagged by @ladyaldhelm & @holy3cake but uhm forgot to do this until today lmao

What's the origin of your blog title?

Figured I could just share a picture of ✨her✨ aka Eivor's raven in Assassin's Creed Valhalla ♥ I liked the name so uhm yeah I kept it :p

OTP(s) + Shipname:

Can I pair myself with Travis?

Okay hear me out: Skade+Sihtric!! Uhm their shipname could be Skatric or Sihde lol

Favorite colour:

I really like indigo blue aaand green is probably one of my favs in many tones as well (;

Favorite game:

In case the first answer doesn't quite give it away; Assassin's Creed Valhalla ♥ It's probably closely followed by The Sims (3 mostly, a bit of 4 too) and Uncharted: The Lost Legacy

Song stuck in your head: 

Last one I was singing was I Killed A Man by Post Malone hehehe (I didn't kill anyone tho), but also that song Harald & Halfdan sing in Vikings is forever stuck in my head it's just so good!!

Weirdest habit/trait?

Is fantasizing over a man 20 years older than me a weird habit? Lol but yeah obsessing over dudes (and sometimes losing interest when they interact with me in any way lol) is probably my weirdest trait/habit :p

Hobbies:

Drawing, taking way too many caps of Travis on whatever shit show he's in, uhm playing games?

If you work, what's your profession?

I don't :p Send job offers your girl here needs $$

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be? Realistically?

Maybe a detective? I love detective-sque shows but like I know justice doesn't work as well out of screen as it does in the shows which sucks - like, imagine you manage to catch a criminal and then some judge/politic says "yeah but they'll get away with it because I got paid to release this fucker (;"

Something you're good at:

Drawing? (Hopefully) I think I'm quite a good liar but I doubt that's something to be proud of lol

Something you're bad at:

Socializing, keeping up with friends, do things out of my comfort zone :p

Something you love: 

Well duh the man in my icon and my furry baby boy Mani <3

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: 

Something you hate:

Loud people, people who ask too many questions instead of paying attention, fascists!

Something you collect: 

Uhm nothing? Unless me collecting male crushes counts lol because I'm good at that hehe

Something you forget: 

By all means EVERYTHING

What's your love language?

I don't know how to properly write this down but like I like knowing someone is there for me even if they're not actively trying to talk to me or interact with me, if that makes sense - like, I forget to keep up with friends/my bf so it's cool when they don't get offended by my lack of interaction lol

Favorite movie/show: 

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban / The Last Kingdom ♥

Favorite food:

Pasta!

Favorite animal:

Cats/Horses/Rabbits

What were you like as a child? 

Had the same socializing skills I have now so I was very shy but also quite nice so people took advantage of that a lot :s

Favourite subject at school?

Art? I also liked English but at some point realized I kinda sucked at it lol

Least favourite subject: 

Math :p

What's your best character trait? 

Uhm I DON'T KNOW

What's your worst character trait?

Honesty/Not thinking before I speak :p

If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be?

Aside from maybe turning around to see Ragnar spawn on my bed, I'd love to bring back my kitty because I miss him terribly </3

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet? 

Oooh this is a good one! Probably Vikings in general? Like, I'd love to learn about their culture FROM THEM instead of having to read what Christians thought about them :p I'd also force them to write down absolutely everything for future generations and fucks sake

idk who did this already or not so feel free to do this if you see it on your dash and say you've been tagged by me (;

[purplerocker-thesims]

Round 4 - Bolam

The lingering dread of autumn still quieted our isles with fog along the sore line, thick wintery clouds brewing with the sorrow last round, grieving Families boarded up their homes, threw the fire placed on huddled together, as the night lengthen and the air thickened with a deafening chill. Winter has Arrived.

How will the settlers of the GoldenMoon handle their first Winter? Will they forsake bonding family time for work? Or will tensions grown amongst more chaotic households?

Early morning at the bolam household, cuddled together their beds and the fire place burning. The first two arises from their slumbers, are the bright eyed hopeful twins, running out to go play.

Playing catch near the road while they still can, enjoying the seeable ground, and taking their time to be each other best friend. While their dad, Guy, tends to Artie’s needs, helping him with the potty before spending so much time with him.

Guy tends to be his care taker for the most part, while Earna took care of twins and woodcutter side of life. She dedicated herself to what must be done, and it’s a job she’s seen all her life.

Once daylight spread a crossed the kingdom, Earna got work, cutting woods to fuel her hope of finding a pretty penny out of the chilly hands of others around the quiet settlement.

After enough was cut to supply some of the household that are on good terms with Bolams. Oh yes, they aren’t willing help everyone. Unless it’ll bring along a good exchange.

She spent time her Eldest son, Aidric. Before his demanding sister, Eldride dragged him away from their mother to play and talk.

Eldrida: “come play with me!”

Aidric: “I always do, why not make more friends?”

Eldeida: “Rovena is my friend, though I heard she saw the death of some old person, I don’t know who. So Ravenna’s grandma?”

Aidric: “oh, I heard that too!”

Eldeida: “Will you now play tag with me!”

Aidric: “fine.”

Eldeida: “YEAH!”

As the children play tag, and toddler got stuck somewhere stupid. Earna and Guy found sometime for each other.

Woohoo! No try for a baby! They have no room.

The children found themselves finding fun with Archie, though in two different ways.

Aidric doesn’t mind his little brother, Eldeida wasn’t a fan of the idea of another boy around.

But got bored of him fast and went to play with each other, patting their hands and chanting to each other, with giggled and laughter.

Aidric: “it would be nice if you were a bit nice”

Eldeida: “huh? Did I wrong you?”

Aidric: “not me… there is more than me in around here you know. Artie is our brother too.”

Eldeida: “I'm only teasing, I doubt he will remember it, We have each other, you know, there is no need for another one.”

Aidric: “Regardless, he's here now, we can't get rid of him. I’ve been playing with Methodis. The nice lady from the gentry’s home has been telling use words from parchment.”

Eldeida: “I see… I’m done playing with you for today, I wish to be alone.”

Aidric: “Eldeida!”

The next day, Annice and her son came over, followed by her husband, to spend time with the little ones, and get some woods and goods they have. Just a nice family gathering.

Eldeida spent most of her time, having all of her dad's attention after a while of him tending to the toddler, it really got on her nerves, her brothers. The constant movement and lack of fun, with little attention of her.

Her day was truly stopping everyone from interacting with Guy. until night fall, where mostly everyone had went to bed and left, but the two outside.

Becket: “Were still going to be struggling, regardless if you have returned, we still untrusted.”

Annice: “Reputation doesn't matter, Let those fools flap lips, while playing to be who they aren’t for anything more than couple of coins.”

Becket: “it would be useful to have favours.”

Annice: “and be like the rest of these gawking, whispering fools that know not of their place. Take our time, our future is a head, and it’s bright.”

Becket: “I kissed the Gentry’s daughter, and I fear he wants my head.”

Annice: “and?”

Becket: “I think I like her”

Annice: “You are your father’s fool”

Then something typical happened, I couldn’t believe it as soon as Becket left.

Someone stole wood from the Bolam’s think they were fools, but young Eldeida took it upon herself to go steal it back. Becket left when it was stolen… He’s stealing more than kisses.

This thievery against family, caused Earna to kick into to being a teacher for her daughter.

Encouraging Eldeida to be active, to be able to handle a busy household, hard tasks, long working hours, who else is going to protect her family if she’s not keeping up on her to list of survival. She teaching her that, she has to be ruthless, fearless against the odds and in a world where everything was trying to kill them, she needed to trust with pinch of dust, even family, because once they have the slightest trust, they can steal everything from her. She was so dedicated to teach her daughter how to be Bloodworthe.

After the long day, Guy and Earna earned a break with each other.

Kissing, flirting, sharing a woohoo moment, before their youngest screamed at the end of bed.

Days going by with Earna training her daughter. Moulding her into a bloodworthe woman, like her and her mother before her, that out shined Anything Annice could ever produce.

Sisterly love Perhaps. Eldeida was better than Becket any day. Day after day, Eldeida didn’t mind her mother’s pushing, as she was already active and grouchy, she was already better than T Kroff.

She took her training and went to her little brother:

Teasing him by the warm fire knowing, this was exactly what her mother meant by ruthlessness. No mercy even to family.

While the fire burned, it didn’t mask the feeling of bitter coldness nipping at their skin, as the first signs of winter didn’t even happen. There was no snow! There wasn’t no winter. It was just cold.

Look at Guy, he’s too cold too, but he got done woohooing with his lovey wife and it didn’t even warm him up.

That’s not all dreadfully painful to deal with:

Artie has his aged up freezing, ending up with Insane, Grumpy and Evil. He has a vendetta against his older sister, with a want to see her ghost, He's dedicated to that goal, it keeps being re rolled. this kid has a future and I don't know if it's a good future, but he defiantly something. What a sim that matches the insanity of this hood.

Sloppy | | | - - - - - - Neat Shy | | | | | | | | | - Outgoing Lazy | | | | | - - - - - Active Serious | | | | - - - - - - Playful Grouchy | | | - - - - - - - Nice

He pushed his sister, before attacking her. He hates her with a burning passion. Stealing toys = life time long grudge. And no’s in a good mood, so this isn’t because he’s has bad aspirations, he’s just a prick.

Taxes Earned: £3,071 owed: £1,228 Rent to Eadwine: £250

[mostlyinthemorning]

Fic Origin Story

thanks for the tag @rmd-writes!

What was your first fandom (reading and/or writing)?

Schitt's Creek has been the only fandom where I've been all in, writing and reading fic and making other content and flailing on multiple levels. I've dabbled with some others along the way - Highlaner, Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries, but I was really only a casual reader and never a writer.

What was the first story you ever wrote (even if it was never posted) and what made you decide to write it?

It's this one, right here. I'd always told stories to myself in my head, but I'd never written any of them down before this. Honestly, if the Schitt's Creek fandom had been bigger at the time I was getting into the show, I might not have written this at all. But there were only ~150 fics at the time and I'd read them all several times and it was mostly an act of desperation. "If no one else is going to write this fic, I guess I'll have to do it myself."

What’s a piece of advice you would give to your younger fic-writing self?

Don't worry, you'll never know how commas work.

What’s an early fandom interaction that stuck with you (be it a nice comment, a friend you made, a fic that got a lot of feedback etc.)?

I think I was astounded that anyone would read anything I'd written, let alone leave nice comments about it. So thank you to those lovely people who left those first comments, it definitely gave me the courage to keep going!

Post a sentence or two from one of your older fics, and a sentence or two from a newer one (if you want).

Oh...okay.

This is from Snowbound, which wasn't my first Schitt's Creek fic, but it was the first one I wrote that wasn't an episode coda. I made Patrick shovel so much snow in that fic.

“I like seeing you in my clothes,” he murmured in a low voice.

“If you’re going to say things like that, we really should lock that door,” Patrick replied.

“Hmmm.” David put his hand behind Patrick’s head and leaned in to kiss him. He nipped gently at Patrick’s lower lip and Patrick’s lips parted for David’s tongue. Patrick returned David’s kiss urgently before pulling back to kiss along David’s jawline. The feel of the rough stubble beneath his lips was intoxicating.

“David…” Patrick began, his voice uneven. Just then, a loud knocking came from the outside door to their room.

David closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Patrick’s for a brief moment before going to open the door. Stevie stood outside holding a bottle of wine in each hand.

“I heard you guys were trapped here and it looks like I’m not going to make it home tonight, so I brought some wine. I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

“OK, why does everyone assume that we’re just in here having sex?” David demanded.

“Because they know you. And also because your boyfriend is blushing and can’t look me in the eye.”

And from There is definitely, absolutely, positively only one bed (because I like to think I'm funny):

“I hope the babies will be okay.” Having babies compete in extreme elimination challenges seems cruel, but it’s not like he knows anything about children. He hasn’t voluntarily touched a baby since the time he confused Jessica Simpson’s newborn for a Pomeranian.

Thankfully, Ray quickly moves to more interesting topics. “Now don’t worry, there’s plenty of extra butter chicken and I think Patrick bought wine. Must be a special occasion.” Ray dodges around him, holding the door and waving David inside. “Door open or closed?”

“Oh, closed.” There is never a good reason for leaving a door open. There are moths out here.

Tagging @noahreids @stereopticons @missgeevious @blackandwhiteandrose @carolrain @weathereyehorizon @likerealpeopledo-on-ao3

[maple-seed]

Citrine, Morganite and Emerald for the gemstone asks please, you gorgeous talented thing! x

CITRINE  Citrine represents generosity. What is the best compliment or comment you’ve ever received on a piece you’ve created?

This is difficult to answer, because I have received a tremendous number of absolutely wonderful comments. I've really been blessed in this department. I'm not exaggerating when I say I could not pick one. You yourself are a source of several comments that have legitimately had me looking like this:

🥹

A specific example that immediately comes to mind was a particular line that @gigglingtigger referred to as "stone cold gorgeous writing" and that has stuck with me. That one would definitely be in my comment trophy case if I had such a thing.

Early on, one of my first encounters with @loopsisloops was her writing an essay in the comments on AO3, it was one of the first really detailed responses I had gotten to the story and she hit on so many little things I was trying to communicate, it really made me feel like maybe this was working out. There was another time, I had posted a new chapter and she came into my DMs with her capslock on, repeating the last line of the chapter with deteriorating coherency. I said to myself "Okay, yeah, that one landed." 😂

I have to stop here because I really could go on forever with all the nice things people have said to me and I appreciate every single one. I created a tag specifically for me to be able to look back at posts that particularly touched me: #my heart

MORGANITE  Morganite is associated with innocence, joy, peace, and confidence. How would you compare yourself now with yourself when you began to create?

Comparing myself to when I started writing, it wasn't terribly long ago so I think the biggest change is simply how much more involved I am with the community. It's been the best part of all this, I think, meeting these wonderful, talented people and sharing our stuff with one another. When I first came to tumblr I did not know what I was doing and I was very anxious about interacting and it took me a long time to get over the anxiety of commenting/reblogging on other people's posts (because who would want to hear my stupid opinion?) and I give a lot of credit to the SAS for helping me get over that because if we're posting a dozen gifs specifically about one man's thighs then I should probably worry less about all this. 😂

Comparing myself now to when I began to create in general would take a much longer time to detail because that was decades ago. Those two people are only just barely related, lol.

EMERALD  It was believed that emerald could assist in seeing the future. What future pieces or ideas do you look forward to writing the most?

There are several future chapters of Thrown that I'm very excited about, some of which I will be writing soon. There's also the end of that story on the horizon which I'm mostly excited about.

Aside from Thrown, I've had a few ideas for oneshots just to see if I'm even capable of writing a story in less than 100k words. 😅 One in particular is a smut piece with, you'll never believe this, only one bed. No promises that it ever gets published because I've never written smut before so it could end up a hot mess that just sits in my drafts forever.

[starpros-sunshine]

Thinking about. How both wataru and eichi didnt really have much experience with interacting with peers? Eichi had keito and then spent the rest of the time consuming media alone in hospital beds (which led to him seeing wataru on tv...). Wataru, well, you know, it's hard for people to reach and understand him. But he too loves spending quiet nights at home watching and getting lost in films (phantom thieves epilogue my beloved) Theyre both Like This because they learned human interaction from fiction mostly. Theyre perfect for each other i love wataei^_^

RIGHT THEY'RE SO. WAUGH <33333

I think the thing that gets me the most about what we "know" (taken with a grain of salt" of Watarus childhood is that it wasn't even just the kids that ostracised him I'm fairly sure it was said that the adults would blame him for every little thing that went wrong in their neighborhood like he's a black cat or whatever else bad omina there are and we know he was already somewhat famous as a child because else you wouldn't land tv gigs (I know I know my logic is once again astounding) but???? To which degree???? Famous enough to land tv gigs but also famous enough to get recognized on the street? Who knows. I certainly don't. Nobody does. Where is my Wataru lore happyele. And Eichi. My dear dear Eichi. Do you ever think about how he probably never would've thought he'd have the things he has now when he was a sick child stuck in a hospital room planning his own funeral with his best (only) friend. Those visits from Keito must've meant so much to him and. I am so normal about wataei btw have you noticed yet. anyway back to the point the point being that it's really nice to see where they are now compared to where they were once just heartwarming really <333

[p0ssyart]

i have brainrot from my own ocs read below for backstory on kurumi because they're sweet and broken.

has a handful of crafting hobbies, currently into cross stitching and some of their stuff is hanging up around the house. favorite content genre is video game horror, like games that go meta and use that as part of their plot, also mild gore is good.

autism and adhd, has a chewy necklace on almost always and carries a stim toy around to be safe. struggles with ptsd, depression/anxiety, dissociation, and insomnia.

doesn't speak the best english, knows much more chinese (sinnoh language) than they know english, is learning kanto sign on top of english and the family is learning chinese best they can. calls jessie and james by their names but they dont mind it, its just easier for kurumi to use instead of parental names.

their best friend is a pokemon named mazie (galar corsola); named because the texture of its coral looks like a maze. spends most of their time with pokemon, they bring their switch or a sketchbook or a book outside and just sit on the tree while pokemon roam around and interact with them, mazie is always with them.

warning for child abuse/neglect, mentions of alcoholism, and cptsd

kurumi has scars from their birth parents and when james saw those scars, he actually threw up because they were scars from a belt and its all over their back.

they're missing the tip of their left ring finger because their father cut it off at some point not sure why or how

hates showers because they were punished with extremely hot/cold water showers, they had a panic attack when jessie showed them how the shower worked because they thought she was going to make them get in.

their dad drank a lot, both parents smoked heavily so some of kurumi's clothes still smell vaguely of cigarettes but james washed those clothes so intensely they barely smell anymore. their parents would also put cigs out on their clothes or skin as warnings so they've got a bunch of little circle scars on their forearms and stuff.

their mom was worse than their dad, she was a lot louder and quicker to act out, but their dad had the tendency to explode with anger and those always resulted in physical damage of some kind.

learned to care for themselves at a very young age, had to figure out how to feed and bathe themselves because nobody else taught them (jessie and james have to do some extra teaching for certain hygeine and self care things because they just never were taught how to).

either growlie or meowth ""stand guard"" for kurumi when they're having paranoia at night, which doesn't happen as often as it used to but its not rare. on really bad nights, they go into jessie and james' bed with mazie and sometimes they wake one of them up because they're stuck in a thought loop.

had tried to run away a couple times but never could get the courage to leave the town, so they'd spend nights outside and only with mazie because they would rather sleep on a cold bench than be at home. they'd be found by morning and taken back home, usually by their mother as she actually paid attention to kurumi's actions, their dad was forgetful and shitty as hell when he remembered they were around. one night an officer jenny found them sleeping on a playground at a park and when the cope woke them up to take them home, they had a full meltdown because they were too scared to go back home and the jenny was like yeah i'm not taking you home, but i'm definitely going to talk to your parents and then kurumi ended up at an adoption center that week.

few months later and they were adopted by jessie and james, they dealt with a bit of bullying from other kids for being mostly nonverbal and ""weird"", some workers weren't that nice either but it wasn't something that stuck with then as hard as the way their parents treated them.

[chisatowo]

One last post before I go to bed, I'm gonna let myself indulge in the comfort media™ and let myself share some things I love abt every main bandori character :]

Kasumi: goddddd starting off with one of the big ones..... She's just so. Yeah. Y'know I remember seeing someone say that she was very easy to read as a character with depression, and tbh I didn't believe them at the time, but after reading through more bandori stories and poppin'party song lyrics, I soooo get it now. Tbh, she might be one of the bandori characters I can relate to the most, and I find a LOT of comfort in her. I also love how much of a flirt she can be, it's very funny.

Arisa: I loooove how much she clearly loves her friends and just..... How they've clearly improved her life so so much and she definitely knows it at least to some degree. I also love her dynamic with nearly every character she interacts with, and she's also just very funny all around

Saya: welp time to go back to my "I have depression and am tired of only getting like 2 flavors of depressed characters in media" chair. Saya is another character that I can deeply relate to, and I think shes genuinely one of the best written bandori characters I love her sm. Also, as I have said with all characters before and all characters since, she is soooo funny strong contender for funniest bandori character imo honestly Saya's sooo underated from a comedy perspective vmfndjfmd

Tae: yes. I like you. What a wonderful silly guy. Tae was actually my original favorite poppin'party member, and tbh for the first lil while she was the only one of their band I was even slightly interested in dndbdjcnshf. I looooove her design a LOT and she also has some of my favorite outfits of the cast, and also again, hee hoo funny

Rimi: I mean, she's ok I guess. Her design is nice, and she's nice I guess, but idk she doesn't rly stand out amongst the crowd. Where's she on my favorites list again? Wait. What do you mean she's my 3rd favorite????? How did this happen?!?!?!?! Ok but in all seriousness though I literally cannot think of a way to properly get across how much I love Rimi. She's like my #1 kin of all time and also just. Idk I literally cannot think of a single thing to say abt her but you have to trust me she's perfect and amazing and I love her.

Ran: ah yes, Ran, my poor little meow meow, the most pathetic wet cat in bandori. I love Ran oh so dearly, I will bully them relentlessly but also I do genuinely find so much comfort in them, they're one of The comfort characters to me. Specifically in relation to my autistic Ran hcs, it's like 65% projection and the only reason it isn't 100% is because I refrained from also giving them my adhd fndjdnsjrnd

Tsugumi: mannnnnn Tsugumi. Tsugumi. Sure is one of the characters ever /pos. I have SO many Tsugumi thoughts, again mostly projection, but also I just. Rly like Tsugumi in general. I think what rly appeals to me abt them is that I can relate to a lot of their feelings of inadequacy, and I can't help but slip and project onto them a lot.

Tomoe: ah yes, one of the first bandori characters outside of Kaoru to get me deeply invested in them. I don't talk abt Tomoe as much as I should tbh, I rly do love her a LOT and she's probably a good 20% of the reason bandori stuck with my like it did. I LOVE her design, and also I just rly like her personality in general. I love how much she tries to look out for the people around her while not always being good at it, and I think I desperately want those glimpses of anxiety from afterglow bs2 to be explored more, which reminds me I should REALLY get to reading afterglow bs3 soon I'll do that at some point

Moca: yeah I guess I like Moca a lil bit. Just a tiny bit. It's only my number one favorite character of all time, no big deal. Anyways, Moca makes my brain feel like a can of bees, it just. Fuck man Moca is so good. Probably one of the best written characters in bandori in my opinion, and just. Man does a lot of Moca's issues hit rly close to home for me. I love pretty much everything abt Moca, but I will never get over Moca's arc, especially the aspects of it abt Moca actually deciding to try and work through its self loathing issues, I think that is probably what hit me the hardest.

Himari: yknow, Himari actually used to be one of the bandori characters I cared abt the least, but she's REALLY grown on me over the past few months. Like she'd probably be the character that grew on me the most since my first impression of them if it weren't for Rimi dnrjfmdgfh. She's another one I have a hard time wording exactly why I like them sm, but I think a big part of it is that she's soooo fun to analyse once you start to dig more into her character. I honestly doubt she was meant to be analysed this heavily, but that will not stop me from wanting to study her under a microscope. Also, my sibling loves her and I associate her with him a lot so that also gives her points

Aya: ah yes, the og poor little meow meow. Aya was the first pastel*palletes member I got rly attached to, and then I though of he/him lesbian Aya hc, and then I started thinking way too hard abt him in general fndirndg. I love how pathetic and sad he is, and I also just. LOVE how he interacts with every one of his bandmates, both from a character dynamic perspective and from a narrative one. Also, he's stupid and I love him

Eve: Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eeeeeeeve. I have many thoughts abt her. She's another one that took me a LONG time to rly get attached to, but man. She's got her hooks in my brain now and I will never stop being pissy by how underutilized she is by both the writers and the fandom fmdbdjfndu. Like don't get me wrong, she's not never utilized, but I think it's fair to say that on the whole she's one of the characters the writers take the least seriously. But back to being positive, I REALLY love how she's just. Such a good foil to Chisato specifically, and I also just love how despite having been burned by the flames of the spotlight before, she still pushes for things to be better, because even if it seems unrealistic, if things could be better then it's worth it to at least try. I've been thinking abt her a lot lately if you couldn't tell fmfkfndjd

Maya: she is simply sooooo autistic and transfem like y'all have no idea. It's honestly amazing how easy it is to read her stories with a trans lense, and I just generally rly like her writing, with like some minor complaints but that's not what this post is abt djdnsjrneg. Also!!! I love her casual wear designs SO much!!!!! She looks so cool and pretty and I just love her design sooooo much. Also I think she and Eve should hold hands

Hina: you. You. YOU. This little fucker makes me feel SO many emotions she is just sooooo autistic and her writing is just. SOOOO good. I can and will talk for soooo long abt her story, just. Man. As a person with both autism and adhd who was often hated or infantised amongst it's friend groups over the years, I can relate to Hina's issues soooo much and her story means so so much to me because of that. Her dynamic with her bandmates is just everything to me, and she also just parallels the others so well, and god pastel*palletes is just so good as a whole

Chisato: why hello there second favorite bandori character. I sure have written a few character analysis things abt you. And by a few I mean a lot. Just..... Man Chisato is genuinely soooo interesting and they might honestly be the most complex character in bandori writing wise. Like even beyond their more obvious complexities, there's a surprising amount of other subtler details of their writing that manages to stay consistent and make a lot of sense with their character. If you've followed me for a decent amount of time you've probably seen at least one of my Chisato character analysis posts, so I don't think I need to go on too long fnfndjrnf

Yukina: shakes her violently /pos. Yukina is another character that I only rly started high key adoring more recently, but I've always liked her quite a lot. She is the second of the poor little meow meow trio among my top ten, and she's just. Such a funny pathetic little guy who I adore. I wish I had more to say abt her, but idk what else to say she's just my poor little meow meow

Rinko: Im sooooo sorry Rinko honey I like never talk abt you but mannnn your design and voice are both soooo pretty and also you have some of the best cards.... Also I personally think she has some of the best dynamics with characters outside of her band of the bunch, and I can't help but be surprised by just how versatile of a character she ended up being. I honestly initially thought she'd be super boring, but she is honestly rly fun to read abt, although I will admit I prefer her in stories not completely centered on her.

Ako: Ako my bestie Ako my beloved. Well first and foremost, she's the owner of my favorite singing voice in bandori, so that's good for her, but also I just rly like how fun she is. Her design, her voice, her personality, she's just a rly fun character and I almost always like seeing her around in any given story. Shes also my siblings favorite character, so bonus points for that.

Sayo: ah yes, the issues haver. Tbh I haven't done as much deep character analysis with her as with other characters, but I still personally rly like Sayo and will defend her to the death from people who overly demonize her. I will refrain from going on that rant though for now, and simply talk abt what I like abt her. She's just. Such a deadbeat loser /pos. Like she's what I mean when I say I want more deadbeat loser fail women in media, she's just such an idiot loser dork and I love her so much for it

Lisa: aaand here's number 5 in my top five. I would go into detail on why I love her but that would get real personal real fast so I'll just summarise it by saying this; whatever is wrong with me and whatever is wrong with her is the same and I want her to see a therapist sooo bad

Kokoro: ohhhhhh Kokoro. My sweet darling Kokoro. I've always rly liked her, and Im glad to because she rly helped put me in the right headspace to analyse bandori characters, because she genuinely is SUCH an interesting character that DOES have layers, but it's just hard to notice if you try to read her stuff like you'd read more long and angst heavy media. Just because she isn't secretly miserable all the time doesn't mean there isn't depth to her, because there genuinely is a lot and I rly like that abt her. She's a very fun character to analyse

Misaki: mannn I love Misaki a lot actually. Like, I feel like shed be the sort of character 14 year old me would rly like, and for once I don't mean that in a bad way fndjdmdjr. She's of course very funny, being both just some guy in a very wacky cast while also being low key also a dumbass but in denial abt it, but I also love how she rly does genuinely love hello happy world. Like, I feel like it's a bit to common to think of Misaki like she hates the band and it's members, but she isn't just a ball of endless negativity and I like to appreciate that now and then since a lot of the fandom doesn't lol

Kanon: ah yes the character I have the worst takes on by far /hj. Well ok its mostly contained in aus but still vdndndjdbd. Not focusing on that though, the more time goes on the more I just. Rly rly like her arc. Like, idk there's something abt how hard she works to not just be more confident, but to be a good person who helps people and lifts them up like Kokoro did with her that I just love a lot. Tbh, it's probably because of those bad takes I mentioned before, since that particular arc stands out a lot more in my mind next to two au versions of her I have in particular that uh. Could rly use those messages fmdjdnsjv. But yeah, I simply think she's neat (<- is holding back just oh so much rn so people don't get mad at it)

Kaoru: ah yes, the beloved of all time. Kaoru is like. The entire reason I first got into bandori so that alone is a pretty big plus rnsjrndy. But also, to get real sappy for a moment, Kaoru's whole thing abt like. Self love and allowing yourself to acknowledge every version of yourself, and understand that they are all deserving of love, it just. Genuinely means so much to me, and I wish I had a story like hers to see when I was younger and going through some very intense self loathing issues. Also gay gay homosexual gay.

Hagumi: the character ever Im tired of everyone pretending she's uninteresting actually!!! Similar with Kokoro, she DOES have a lot of depth, she's just not easy to analyse if you're expecting the stories to spoon feed all her issues to you. Anyways, I love how she manages to be written as a person with a lot of anxiety, which is often worsened by her being very high empathy, but it's not presented in a way that makes it seem like her happiness is pretend. She finds a lot of comfort and confidence in her friends and in hello happy world, and it's hard to tell if you don't know what to look for but she genuinely is doing a lot better now mentally than she was before. I love her very dearly.

Mashiro: I love this dramatic gay loser who only gives off the illusion of not being dramatic because she's an anxious person. First things first, god her design is so fucking pretty man and I loooove her voice sm too.... And also, I rly like how she manages to be a generally kind person while still being kind of an ass sometimes, and I like how that's a thing actively acknowledged by the narrative and how it's something she's trying to improve on, and on that line I like that it's not something that just disappeared after morfonica bs1, it honestly makes her feel like a really well rounded character that actually like. Has to put effort into being better and stuff. Idk I just think she's neat

Rui: love this bastard sm she's just soooo full of issues. Like, I rly rly like how morfonica bs2 brought up that Rui's act of maturity is ultimately just an act, and how because of how much she's just been playing that guessing game of playing adult, she genuinely doesn't know how to deal with any of her emotions, even positive ones. And yet, shes still somewhat aware of how bad it is for her, but doesn't know how to change that or even if she can, and trying to reach for that is scary to her. She didn't just join morfonica to stand around and be mean or whatever, she does genuinely want them to change her mind on there being other options for her other than her cage of "logic", and while she still does have a ways to go, she is making progress.

Tsukushi: firstly, I love her voice and design a lot. Secondly, I just like her man I don't think I could rly tell you why but she's just rly likable to me idk. It might just be me relating to her as a fellow eldest sibling short king™, but I just think she's really relatable and is just funny. Also shes shorter than me so Im legally allowed to make fun of her for being short, ha short

Touko: and the last of the top five, here's my dear ol number 4. Look at me. Look. Look at me. They have so much fucking adhd man like I cannot overstate this enough they have so much adhd I relate to them SO hard and also they're just. So undiagnosed with so many mental issues that I also have so I just legally have to adore them ok

Nanami: bingus my beloved. Her design is just soooooooo pretty man and also kitty faced characters are my favorites design wise so thats many bonus points for her. She also just has sooo much autism, and I also rly rly like her dynamic with Rui. I want to cradle her in my arms like a cat

Layer: and it's time for the last of the poor little meow meow trio, and lemme tell you, Layer is very hard to talk abt for me dnsnsjdnsh. Like I love them so so dearly their my favorite ras member by a long shot but like. Idk what to say other that she's just a deeply pathetic loser and I wanna shove her down a flight of stairs and shake them like a soda can /pos

Pareo: absolutely superb you funky little lesbian. Anyways Pareo is one of the best written characters in this damn game and just. Fuck man after having been in a fandom where 99% of the gay coding was just blatant bigotry, coming into bandori was such a nice fresh breath of air, with Pareo being one of the biggest reasons why. She's a great example of a lesbian coded character that very clearly was intended for sapphic people and was written by sapphic people and is actually written like. Well. Like I was gonna say even if her being a lesbian can't be canonically said, but like she literally has used explicitly romantic language to confess to Chu2 so idk what to tell y'all

Masking: love this lil loser. I find him soooo funny but to be fair that's partially from me just stamping my siblings humor onto him rndjvtndhd. Also, yummy yummy tasty design, probably one of my top favorites tbh. I swear I have more to say abt him but it's 4 am and my brain is melting Im so sorry Masking I love you

Lock: loser idiot loser I like this dork sm. Lock has just sooo many good dynamics with people, with their relationships with Asuka and Ako being my personal favorites, and I also just like their personality in general. Again Id have more to say but it's 4 am Im so sorry sweety

Chu2: I'm gonna try to overpower the exhaustion just a lil bit for this stinky kitty because god damn do I ADORE Chu2. Like, she's another very very strongly adhd coded character in bandori, and also canonically sapphic so that's also cool, but I also rly like her for similar reasons that I like Mashiro, that being that she has issues that she's working on, but shes clearly having to put actual work into it. This is amplified by the fact that she's like 14, and has mostly had to raise herself and doesn't know how to deal with a lot of this stuff on her own, and like. It's ok that she needs support, but I also like that she's not treated like she can just get away with being a shithead all the time, her actions do have consequences and she does realise that. I still need to go check again if ras bs2 has any good fan translations yet soon, I am thrilled by all the concepts in it I've heard of so far. Chu2 demonizers dni /srs

[savoies]

Cliches - Carter Hart.

Carter Hart x Reader.

Summary: Carter is the popular guy while Y/N is just the girl who keeps to herself. She starts tutoring him and they rekindle a friendship that they used to have which leads to even more after learning to trust each other again.

Word Count: 2.5k

Warning: maybe a bad word or two and hints of a bad home life.

A/N: Before anyone comes at me, yes this is like a walk to remember but with my ideas and a different take on that. But it does have the aspect of two opposites attracting. I really hope you guys like it.

Carter Hart was the residential popular boy at Lakeview High. Everyone knew him and he tried to know everyone. Carter was big on meeting new people and starting conversations wherever he was. He wasn't popular for being rude, being the football captain, or dating the head cheerleader. Carter was actually popular for being nice. Yes he did have a spot on the football team but he didn't think he was better than anyone else and treated everyone the same.

Y/N was the residential shy girl. She kept to herself and her life motto was the less social interactions the better. Y/N didn't perceive to be rude she just didn't like to put her walls down for people that would just walk away. She felt as though keeping to herself was the best option. She did put her walls down for her best friend but he just walked away after they both went into highschool.

Carter and Y/N had their fair share of interactions throughout highschool. But during their entire childhood they were glued to the hip. Carter was the only person that had seen Y/N be herself yet when they went into highschool that all changed. Carter joined the football team saying that he would still have enough time for his best friend. But after the first week Y/N was by herself and Carter was mostly with his new friends that included football players and cheerleaders.

Carter tried talking to Y/N, ok maybe not having a full blown conversation but sending a simple hello her way. But every time he tried she would walk the other way. She didn't want to deal with him. If he had ignored her all of freshman year, she could ignore a simple hello. As she walked to her english class she took a seat towards the middle where she could blend in. There was about ten minutes before class started so she buried her head in a book to avoid conversation. What brought back her attention though was Carter walking in with his friends laughing loudly. Y/N looked up and they made eye contact for a second. She smiled at him shyly and put her book away as the teacher walked in. 

Carter was failing english badly. If he didn't show up to class everyday he probably would've had a better grade than now. He needed to raise it up to play football or his spot would be given to someone else who had better grades. If he let it go down one bit more, then his whole football journey was over. Now he didn't want that and his teacher had talked to him about getting a tutor. Now Carter knew that getting a tutor probably meant that he would get stuck with some dude that only cared about homework. That is why he groaned at the idea but if it was supposed to help him so he was supposed to say yes right.

As class ended Carter headed up to the teachers desk as you packed up your stuff. You noticed that they were talking so you decided to pack up a bit quicker to leave and give them privacy. But as soon as you were gonna walk out the door your teacher called you.

“Y/N could you come here for a second please.” you put a smile on your face and headed back inside. “Mr. Hart here is in desperate need of an english tutor and I would like you to help him.” Those were the last words both of you guys wanted your teacher to say. Both of you interrupted them with banter.

“Why me, there're so many people in the class.” you said.

“Yeah i don't think that is gonna work out.” Carter said. It was like he was reading your mind.

“Well that's the only solution and there will be no further discussion exchange numbers and start as soon as possible.” your teacher said and pushed you out of their classroom. Little did Carter know that you never had the guts to erase his number.

“Here plug in your phone and i'll text you when i'm free.” Carter said, handing you his phone. Glad to know that he didnt save your phone number. You were kind of hurt but it didn't really matter right. It's not like you were going to call him. 

“Look Y/N, i'm sorr--.” before he could end his sentence and go on giving an apology you stopped him because right now you didnt want Carter’s pity. “I'm just helping you pass, I'm not trying to reconcile.” you said as you headed to the last place you wanted to go, home.

Today was the day that you were going to have your first tutoring session with Carter. You weren't too thrilled to say the least. But anything to get you out of your house for a bit. It was after school and you headed to the library to wait for Carter. You sat down at the table and waited for Carter. You thought maybe he would arrive in twenty minutes but after forty minutes of waiting you were getting irritated. He didn't even have the audacity of sending you a text that he was gonna be late. After one hour of waiting you decided that he had wasted enough of your time and you decided to pack up. That's when Carter came rushing in.

“Oh gosh Y/N, i know i'm sorry for making you wait but Coach decided to have an emergency meeting, i'm so sorry. Im here now.” Carter said exasperated.

“You could've at least sent a text.” you suggested.

“Coach doesnt let us use our phones.” Carter said hopeful that maybe you would stay cause he really didn't want to mess this up on the first day. You decided that he seemed like he was being honest so you shrugged your backpack off and took out the textbooks. After the next two hours of him studying his butt off, you decided it was time to wrap it up.

“Same time tomorrow and don't be late.” you said walking out into the now dark sky.

The next day Carter asked you to meet him in a cafe. You weren't sure why but you decided that a nice warm drink didn't sound too bad. So you headed over there after school and set up everything. After everything was laid out you thought it was the perfect time to order a drink before Carter got there. You ordered your usual hot beverage and were about to pay when Carter came up from behind you and told the barista “Oh and one cappuccino, thanks” he said, handing her his card. “Thanks you didn't have to do that.” Y/N smiled shyly at Carter. Maybe tutoring him wasn't going to be too bad.

“No problem, now where did we leave off on yesterday?”Carter said, actually sounding like he was excited to learn. After both of you guys got your drinks, there was less studying involved and more talking. Carter started talking to you about football and you liked how his eyes lit up when he talked about the subject. About one hour of just talking you decided that it was time to get back to studying  before it got too late. Before leaving the cafe, Y/N pulled out her favorite book out of her backpack. “Here I thought you might enjoy this, it's one of my favorites.”

“Thanks, I'll let you know when I finish it. Carter said, grabbing the book from the girl and their hands slightly brushing. 

A few days later you were in bed ready to go to sleep when your phone started ringing. You thought it was probably a unknown number so you let it ring, but after four rings and no signs of hanging up you decided to pick up.

“Hello” you said, sleepiness evident in your voice.

“Did I wake you up, sorry, I just wanted to let you know that I finished the book.” Carter's giddy voice was heard on the other side of the phone. His voice though had no sleep evident in it whatsoever.

“Look Carter, I don't want to sound rude but why couldn't you just wait till tomorrow to tell me, it's 12am?’ you asked him questionaly. The truth one he couldn't sleep all night, thinking about how finally things with you guys could be fixed. And he just wanted to hear your voice. 

“It was a really good book and i had to tell you, i'll see you tomorrow then.” he said hanging up the phone knowing that it was a bad time to call you but glad that you picked up. He took it as a sign that maybe your friendship could be restored.

The next day you headed to school and stopped at your locker to drop some stuff off. When you were pulling stuff out of your backpack. Carter approached from behind you. “Heres your book back” Carter spoke up.

“Shit Carter, you scared me.” you said as your notebook fell to the ground. 

“Sorry, just wondering if we were gonna meet up later.” Carter cluelessly asked.

“Well yeah, that's basically the agreement.” Y/N stated, kind of annoyed because he knew that they were supposed to meet mostly everyday due to the teachers orders. 

She got to the cafe where she sat at the same table as last time. As she waited for Carter she took everything out . The bell above the door rang signaling the arrival of someone, and it was Carter. They exchanged their hellos and got to tutoring. After what seemed like forever of studying, Carter decided to bring up a question that seemed to be bothering him all day. “So do you have a problem tutoring me or what, cause let me just say i'm not the biggest fan of this either.”

“What do you think Carter, that I think this is a fun way to spend my time, tutoring you.” giving the word you a deeper meaning. Carter was confused on what she meant.

“You really don't remember, you pretended I didn't exist.” the girl said, feeling more vulnerable than ever. 

“ You are the one who's always mad at me, you stopped talking to me, freshman year.” Carter told her, saying it in a way saying it was her fault.

"Really, on the first day of school you didn't see me down the hallway and then turn the other way.”  Y/N said pleadingly. At this point it seemed that they were competing seeing who could say it in the most hurtful way possible. 

“I didn't know what to say.” Carter said looking down.

“ How about hey Y/N, how's it going?” she said spitting it out a bit more harshly than she meant to. She couldn't take this right now, so she packed up her bag and headed out the door. Carter didn't really process what was going on until the ding  above the door signaled that she really had left. 

When you got home you heard the sound of yelling, crying, and the shattering of glass. You decided that the best option right now was just to lock yourself in your room and with your thoughts. You went to sleep listening to music and the next day you got ready for school.

As you were at your locker Carter appeared again. He saw the way that you looked tired and drained and even though you weren't on the best terms decided to ask you how you felt. “Hey, you ok?” he asked concerned. 

“No offense but I really don't want to talk about my personal life with my ex best friend.” you looked at him and shrugged your shoulders. Carter understood so he wasn't mad about it. 

“No tutoring today right? I'll see you in a couple days then.” he said waving goodbye. Even though you didn't really appreciate tutoring Carter you didn't really want to go home so you were kind of bummed out that there wasn't tutoring today.

 Two days later there you were at the same table with the same stuff laid out in front of you. Again waiting for Carter. He walked in and took a seat. “Before we start I just wanted to make sure that you're ok.” he said, looking concerned.

A slight blush appeared on your cheeks because even though he asked you the same question two days ago he was still concerned. “Like I said before, I don't really want to talk to my ex best friend about this.”

“Well then don't think about me as your ex best friend, think about me as your therapist.” you laughed but when he didn't laugh back you knew that he was serious. “Oh you're being serious.

“Yeah I am, now tell me what's wrong.” he said, getting all serious but it didn't last long because both of you burst out laughing. You liked this, just being able to laugh with him again. Like everything was back to normal. But everything wasn’t back to normal and it probably wouldn't but in the end you were having a good time.

After that day you tutoring Carter had become less of a task and more of something that you enjoyed. It had become less stressful and you actually felt like you guys had a good chance of repairing your friendship. Maybe even having the possibility of bringing it back to how it was before. Now that's the way you felt, but you weren't sure how Carter felt. Maybe for him this was just tutoring.

Now Carter saw that maybe he was slowly breaking down your walls again. He was slowly seeing the person you were in middle school again. He liked that. But he thought that maybe you just thought that this was something you felt obligated to do and nothing else.

The next day at school Carter was talking to his friends against their lockers. You were walking towards your locker when you heard the topic of conversation. Now you weren't trying to be all up in their business and invade their privacy but it seemed like they were talking about you.

“Oh look it's your little girlfriend, you're not gonna say hi.” one of the cheerleaders said in a snarky voice. All his “friends”  around him laughed at the girl's comment. 

 Carter thought that maybe if he went along with it, they would stop. “She isn't my type anyways, you know that all she is to me is my tutor so I can pass English and still be on the football team.” 

After Carter said that you knew that you should've said no to tutoring him and just told the teacher that you were too busy. “Im so stupid, i should’ve let him fail so he could see what its like to lose something just how I lost my best friend” you told youself as you wiped a tear with your sweater sleeve.

Well now you could tell that it seemed Carter didn't feel the same about your friendship finally getting a bit better or becoming reconciled. But deep down Carter knew that everytime he saw you his face would light up and that he was slowly falling hard for you. Yet he couldn't let his friends know because he knew that if they did find out they would just tease you and he didn't want that because you didn't deserve it.

taglist: @hartsyhart (thanks for all the help kan), @patty-cake-nolan (thanks for helping me with the title), @mitch-slap (thanks for all the support always), @summerko8, @barrettshayton, @leafsxhockeywrxtes​, @segsation​, & @idkwhyimhere19​.

[goldenhour-goldenboy]

Hi, I'm obsessed with this movie. I've seen it like 10 times now and none of my friends/family will watch it with me. But I was wondering if you could do a younger benny and his high school sweetheart. Maybe they find eachother again later in life. How they were in high school and how they were before he and Will enrolled Vs how they are now given all the things they have seen and how they are older. I just thought this would be so cool.

My LOVE I am so sorry this took so long but I’ve made it! I actually got a bit carried away by the whole younger Benny thing but I hope that’s alright! The ending is fairly short since I didn’t want to overwrite the whole thing (maybe I’ll do another one where I go into detail a bit more how the service changed him but I have to work through the other requests first and there are some that are asking for the same thing so we’ll see)I had SO much FUN writing this and also broke my own heart bc now I’m sad that there’s no Ben Miller in my life lol OKAY 

also i’m also obsessed with that fcking movie it’s not funny i tell you

High School Sweethearts and Long Life Lovers (young!Benny Miller Headcanons)

When you and Benny first meet it’s like two worlds colliding. It’s not necessarily because you are the opposite side of a coin but more that you’ve never interacted with him and don’t exactly share the same group of friends. While you try to get through High School as fast and as unproblematic as possible, Benny seems to almost celebrate every second of it. He’s not a trouble maker per say but he likes to be seen (and heard) while you try to fly under the radar as much as you can. 

For Benny High School is just a passing point, somewhere he’s stuck until he gets his degree and an environment where the rules are not meant to be broken but defiantly meant to be bent to the maximum. For you he’s just another loud guy that tries his damn hardest to prove to the world of tough and different he is and you’re not at all interested in getting drawn into whatever mess he decided to create this week. He’s not a trouble maker but you think he does mean trouble.

You shoot him down the first time he strolls up to you to ask you to hang out. It’s not because rumor has it that Benny Miller leaves nothing but broken hearts and bruised knuckles behind but because his cocky attitude and constant teasing annoy you, not as much as the stares from jealous girls down the halls do, but still enough to decline. What does spark your first interest is the way he accepts your answer (which really consists of a simple “No”, you not intending to argue with him). Though his gaze is still lingering on you for a second, he backs of fairly fast - faster than most boys you’ve encountered by then and it’s his understanding and the space that he gives you afterwards that you appreciate about him. You don’t like him a whole lot better after that but at least he doesn’t turn out to be a real asshole.

Falling for Benny Miller turned out to be a marathon, not a sprint. Somehow, and you’re still not sure how, he wedged his way into your heart. It’s the little things that seem to come to your attention more often afterwards, how he’s almost always late to the classes you share with him not because he doesn’t care but because he walks everyone else of his group of friends to their classes first. How his face lights up when he’s getting picked up by his brother and you watch them through the windshield, Benny turning up the music and belting out the lyrics to a song where he doesn’t hit every note and his brother just snorts at him. 

His bruised knuckles turn out to don’t come from fighting in the streets and picking fights constantly but from taking boxing classes late after school at a local gym. You find out by accident, your cousin who picks you up from school recognizing his brother William and stopping for a quick chat, mentioning training and Benny being involved. William seems far softer than Benny, though you haven’t talked to Benny any more than his brother. For a second there’s a hint of surprise in Will’s eyes as you introduce yourself and you wonder if it may be recognition as well. As you pull your hand from the short handshake you can’t help the thought that crosses your mind if Ben has talked to his older brother about you, the image sending a soft blush to your cheeks.

A lot of firsts happen in the time you’re with Benny. 

The first time seeing bloody knuckles followed by a first time where you have to patch up said bloody knuckles. This time it’s not from training and it’s takes a bit of questioning until he rasps out that there were those bullies that tried to pick on a kid in his neighborhood. You scoff, telling him that he’ll get in trouble if he goes to School like that the next day and that it’ll only make the rumors worse about him being violent but Benny just shrugs, murmuring that it was worth it and he’d do it over and over again.

The first time you taste the bitterness of beer was on his lips, which happened to be the first time you kissed. You remember how his lips were a bit chapped that night, the music blaring inside the house you’ve been invited to, the smell of cigarettes lingering on the front porch and the railing behind you. You remember Benny’s hands on your waist, at first more hesitant but then your lips parted, a soft sound escaping yours and he gripped your waist harder, pressing his body against you.

You remember the first time you smelled him, face pressed into his shirt as it seems that you just couldn’t stop crying. You felt silly in that moment, balling over the loss of your favorite pet but that bundle of fur grew up with you and though you knew that it’s end would come long before your own it still hits you, hard. Benny was there then, rubbing small circles on your back and holding you steady.

Benny’s seeing a kind of sanctuary in you, something steady in a life that seems to move too fast for him. There are countless nights that he crawls through the window and into your room late at night. Sometimes you’re still sitting at your desk studying, sometimes you’re already lying in bed and the face that suddenly appears in your window scares you to death. 

When his dad gets called for another tour, it’s you Benny turns to. Will calls you first after Benny storms out when he hears the news and it doesn’t take long for the younger Miller brother to show up at your window, cheeks red and breathing furiously. He’s frustrated at first, walking circles into your carpet and cursing his dad and his brother and the army and the whole goddamn world before stopping with his back to you. You can’t see his face but the way his shoulders tense up, hands balled at the side before starting to shake you take a gentle hand to turn him around. The sight of his scrunched up face, tears falling big and heavy to your shirt as his head hangs low nearly breaks your heart and this time it’s you that wraps him in a tight hug and rubs his back.

Normally he leaves after a couple of hours but this time Ben falls asleep in your arms, face pressed into the crook of your neck, exhausted from the fear and the crying while you stroke his head, again and again until his ragged breaths calm down and he stops shaking. There’s really nothing you can say to him that will make it better. After all you’re both just two teenagers, too old to believe in miracles, too grown up to ignore the realistic chance of his father getting injured while being deployed. So you hold him and hope that in the daylight, the fear won’t be as strong.

Benny’s an absolute sweetheart to you in school. It’s not like he was rude before but now he’s taking chivalry to a whole new level. There’s usually an arm around your waist or a hand in your back pocket, stolen kisses between class. Glancing his way he’ll catch your eyes, a sheepish smile on his lips and before you turn your attention back to the board.

You’ve tried studying together for a while but it really doesn’t work that great. It’s either Benny distracting you or your distracting Benny, causing piles of homework to get kicked onto the floor, pencils clattering to the ground as you feel his body pressing you into the soft mattress of your bed, hips grinding against yours as he’s starting to suck with his sweet lips right under your jaw.

Benny accumulates a couple of habits since you’re around. There’s little notes that you randomly find in your backpack or your locker, not everyday but mostly after you had a tough week or a fight. Picking you up and dropping you off becomes a thing as soon as he passes his drivers license and there’s usually a cup of coffee waiting in your cupholder at the passenger side. On your birthday he creates a cd with your favorite kind of songs and it becomes your morning pickup playlist, William having to sit through the same songs over and over again whenever he happens to sit in the car.

Benny learns how to play guitar in those years with you though he swears Will made him do it and he didn’t learn it just for you. He’s can’t play an awful lot of songs, most of the time he can’t concentrate and sit still for the amount of time that it takes to learn a full song and playing the same thing over and over bores him to death very easily. But whenever he feels the need to clear his head, he likes to sit down, guitar in his lap and mindlessly pick at the strings. 

Though he hasn’t played in years the old guitar, that was actually your dad’s old guitar that he didn’t need and gave Benny as a gift, still sits in his childhood room at his parents house. He thought about taking it home but he really sees no point in it since he doesn’t play anymore but at the same time he can’t get himself to give it away either.

You try to go to prom with Benny, you even picked out a nice dress and he got dressed up but the night of the actual prom went a bit different than expected. You even made it to the parking lot but neither of you seemed to wanna get out of the car, instead you kept sitting there and looked at the people lingering around or waiting to get inside. It takes one look at each other and Benny’s pulling out of the lot in seconds.

You end up at a diner that night, with burgers and fries, first alone which you enjoy immensely and later joined by your friends that didn’t seem to enjoy the prom too much, even less without you two being there and Benny raising havoc. Instead of dancing in a very sweaty overcrowded gym Benny gets some change for the old jukebox and you end up dancing in the middle of the diner. And though Benny’s dance moves are a bit questionable at times, he twirls and twists you around that night that you get dizzy, grabbing onto his arms for stability where he takes the chance to steal a kiss from you, leaving your friends hollering and whistling at you two from the background.

Breaking up wasn’t so much a decision as it kinda just happened. Near the end of your High School both of you are met with the question on where to go next in life -  and unfortunately it seems as if fate is working against you. While Benny is set on joining the army with his brother (and this really does not come to your surprise since it has always been his dream) you start to look into Colleges. Both of you are stressed because finals are coming up, the inevitable question on how you should continue your relationship combines with the worries about the future and one fight too many leaves both of you with the feeling that maybe this isn’t meant to last forever.

Maybe if the timing was different, the two of you would’ve had the chance to talk it out one more time but you move away a couple of weeks after Benny gets employed and sent to camp for basis training. It’s your first real heartbreak, for both you and Benny and it certainly weighs heavy on your soul. A breakup is always hard but being this young it defiantly feels like the end of the world and it doesn’t help that you can’t seem to shake the thought of “What if..?”

The next time you see each other happens by accident. You’re back in town for a week to catch up with your family and though Ben has certainly changed you recognize him immediately. His body that just started to gain muscles when you last saw each other now has developed quite well and he’d outgrown his scrawny body but it’s still Benny. His hair is cut short and you catch yourself thinking that it’s even a bit too short for your liking. The sheepishness is still there, though his eyes flicker around the area, and you think to spot a hasty glow behind them, though it’s hard to tell from across the parking lot.

You don’t talk that day, him entering the grocery store and you’re about to pull out the lot, time doesn’t seem to give you a chance. But seeing him stirs something inside of you, the thought of him crossing your mind the following week again and again until you even ask your mother if she heard anything from the Millers, though she doesn’t know too much. Your brain is like a overachieving little helper, serving you memories at the most inconvenient times and it takes a bit for you to store the thought of Benny Miller to the back of your mind again.

It’s been ages now, at least it feels like it, when you stumble into each other, for real this time. You’re in front of a bar, waiting for your friends who want to celebrate your move back to town, though the thought brings nothing but hot shame to your cheeks that you wish to drown in a generous amount of alcohol. It really doesn’t feel like your next step in life but more like you’re taking ten steps back and thinking about moving back in with your parents makes your hairs stand in the back of your neck. 

This time you don’t recognize him immediately. He’s almost inside the bar when your eyes meet on accident, you glancing up from your phone again, trying not to look too long at the bulky dude in the grey sweater passing you by. He stops and you clutch your bag a little tighter, frantically trying to remember what your father told you about throwing a punch, just in case, and you almost take a step back as you hear his voice. “Y/N?” It’s hard to look at him now, his face a collage of colorful bruises, a split lip and red nose and you though you try hard find the boy that you gave your heart to in his eyes it takes you a minute.

You quickly realized that his appearance isn’t the only thing that has changed. He’s still witty and quick with a come back to tease but there’s a lack of his easy going charm and he seems to have lost some of his carelessness along the way. Maybe it’s because you’re not as close anymore, a small voice in the back of your head whispers and you silently agree. After all you’ve grown too, so expecting him to be still a boy at heart might be a bit too much.

You’re chatting for a while and it feels awkward at first, a stiff conversation about nonsense. Your eyes sneak back to his injuries and you can’t help but think that Benny looks .. rough. You don’t ask him how he’s been, the question seems silly to you because what even are you trying to hint at? His time in service? Where’s at now? What the hell he’s done to get that beaten up? 

You part as your friends arrive, Benny scattering away as they get out of the car and you end up not knowing how to say goodbye. It ends in a long nod from him and a small smile from you, fiddling with the hem of your jacket as you debate wether or not to ask if he wants to stay in touch and you get caught up in the excitement of your friends, the group giggling and pushing you through the front door of the bar. As you look over your shoulder you only see Benny’s back as he’s crossing the street, almost at the other side and you break into a sprint to catch him before he vanishes into the night. 

It takes a bit of convincing until he lets you type in your number into his phone. “Let’s keep in touch, yeah?” He nods and you’re almost sure he won’t call. It’s a week later that your phone rings, Benny on the other line, stuttering about catching up (he promises that most of his face looks better now and that he won’t scare the living daylights out of you this time) and suddenly you’re fifteen again, heart racing as you agree.

Find the moodboard for highschool!Benny Miller here! xx

[deadimagineblog]

Trouble Comes In Threes (Triplet!AU) (2/?)

Modern!AU, College!AU. This is my first triplet AU post but I'm gonna give it my best! Fem!S/O just so you know! There will be smut NSFW, but not in this part. So lets start!

Tag List: @secretlyshycomputer

Part Two!

° You see good old Ben standing against your car, looking at his phone and typing away on it. His face seemed frustrated, but when you walked up to him, he smiled warmly. "You ready?" He asked. You looked at him with a skeptical eyebrow raised. "Kylo still not answering you?" You asked and his smile fell a small amount. You could tell Ben was really trying.

° "No he answered, but said he was busy. I told him it was just one dinner with family, but he says we are here permanently, and he'll catch us next time," Ben stated, frustrated again. He seemed to be thinking when he suddenly lit up. "Here, take a picture with me," he asked, and you leaned into him and both of you stuck your tongues out and made funny faces and he snapped a photo and turned it around so both of you could see. "That one is cute, Ben, send it to me," you stated smiling at him but he was busy sending it to his brother.

°Ben: Got a cute friend with me who wants to meet you. [Picture Attachment]

Kylo: She's just your friend, Ben?

Ben: Yeah! She really wanted to meet my brothers, Crylo. You're ruining the fun.

Kylo: ...Fine. But I can't stay out long, I've got to finish these class packets before Monday.

Ben: Oh so when its just me and Matt its no, but a cute girl there and you're all about it. >:O

Kylo: Shut up, Ben.

° "He sounds like me," you say with a laugh as he pockets his phone with a triumphant smile on his face. You both hopped into the car, you making Ben drive now because your legs were still tight from that morning. You both smiled and laughed at one another as he let the GPS led him to the spot that Matt had suggested to him on the phone the day before. When you yawned loudly, he pushed your knee with his big hand, "No none of that, I'm planning on keeping you out all night," Ben teased, squeezing your knee as you whined loudly about how he should have waited till tomorrow before dragging you out and about. As if to drown you out, he turned up the radio to be blasting as he drove, grinning at you. You shook you head and instead of whining, you merely sang with the radio obnoxiously with him. The drive wasn't too long, about 15 minutes to the other side of the small town the university was located in. When you seemed to be approaching the location, he turned the radio back to a normal level. "I think you'll like this place, Matt took me here when I came out to visit for New Years."

° "Is it pizza?" You asked hopefully and he laughed, "It has pizza. And loud music," and you smiled widely. "Ah, yes my two favorite things." He pulled the car into a parking spot, and when he turned off the car, you could tell he wasn't kidding about the loud music, hearing the bass thump through the very foundation itself. You got out of the car, running a hand through your hair, ruffling it. You wore just a simple outfit, an oversized black t-shirt with a band logo on the front of it and jean shorts because it was still pretty hot outside. You walked with him to the front door, seeing a large man standing by the door. At first you thought it was some sort of bouncer and you were momentarily worried about what kind of place this was. It wouldn't surprise you if this was a damn strip club in some joke Ben that would be funny. As you got closer though, you realized it may have been the last brother just by the way looked. He was like Matt with no facial hair covering his strong chin, and his hair was that jet black that Ben had. He was dressed in a black shirt and black jeans that fit his frame almost perfectly. His hair was longer than Ben's, full wavy locks touching his chin. You smiled at the man but full lips stayed planted in a straight expression.

° "Crylo!" Ben stated with excitement and his brother looked away from you. Kylo reached out a hand to shake his brother's hand in greeting but Ben instead pulled his brother into a tight hug as he had done with Matt and you put your hand over your mouth to keep from laughing at Kylo's exasperated expression as he was squeezed tightly by his brother. When Ben released his brother from his tight hold, Kylo stepped back, rolling his eyes at brother's affection but this time he at least had the beginnings of a smile on his face. "Kylo this is my best friend Y/N, Y/N this is the little brother Kylo," he introduced as you put your hand out to shake Kylo's hand, his large hand covering yours almost completely. "Nice to meet you, Kylo. I've heard a lot about you from Ben."

° "All bad things I'm sure," Kylo stated, deep voice rumbling as he turned his gaze back down to you. You smiled widely and answered, "Mostly, yeah." This made Kylo chuckle gently as they heard a voice come up behind them.

°"Y-you actually did it, Ben. I never thought you'd pull him out of his cave," Matt's soft teasing making Kylo scowl at his brother as Matt walked up and stood beside you. Ben seemed to light up suddenly. You couldn't help but smile at his reaction to having his brothers all around him like he wanted. He opened the door and let everyone walk ahead of him before he rushed to the counter to beat Kylo there. You stayed beside Matt, who made pleasant conversation with you. He was wearing a warm colored orange polo, and dark jeans. When he tried to move forward to pay for his part of everything, you hooked your arm with his and held him back with you. He turned to look at you with confusion, cheeks dusting with pink as you smiled at him.

° "For science reasons, stay with me just for a second so I can see them interact to see how bad it is," you asked him, and he laughed but nodded. "Its almost like they try to outdo one another all the time," Matt answered and almost on cue you heard Ben laugh a hearty laugh. It almost sounded fake.

° "I dragged you out Kylo, I'll take care of it!" Ben teased about to slide his credit card to the clerk but Kylo took his card instead and handed it to the clerk. "Its gonna be four of us," Kylo stated to the clerk.

° "How many tokens, sir?" The clerk asked boredly, looking at the triplets with some interest, probably because of how attractive each was. Ben smiled at the clerk, "Lets do 40 first," before looking at Kylo with the same smile. "How about I get the tokens and skates and you can get the pizza?" Ben tried to offer as a compromise. Kylo looked at Ben before he sighed almost in irritation, putting his hand out to the clerk who handed his card back to him and Ben handed his card over with a smile, but he seemed almost exhausted now. You let go of Matt's arm with a pat and moved over to Ben and wrapped his arm into yours and grinned up at him. He seemed to perk up immediately and he moved his arm up and wrapped it around your shoulders.

° As you both walked in, you saw why Ben thought you would like this place. It was, firstly, gigantic. There was a full roller rink in the back of the place and an arcade and concession stand at the front by the door and chairs and tables where college students were gathered and eating huge pizzas. Ben, Matt, and you moved over to pick up your rented skates and Kylo moved over to order the pizza. "That wasn't so bad, Ben," Matt stated hopefully to which Ben stopped smiling for a moment before shaking his head and looking back at his brother. "No, it wasn't so bad. I told him I would cover everything though..." He trailed off but soon the person behind the counter handed his skates to him and he smiled at the employee and led him and Matt over to the table they were planning on sitting and beginning to put on their skates. You waited for your skates patiently as you felt someone stand next to you. You looked up to see Kylo standing next to you and you smiled up at him.

°"So I heard you got a job as a teaching assistant. What subject?" You asked curiously and he answered.

° "Psychology," he answered with a simple straight word. You nodded at the answer before adding, "Yeah you seem like the kind of guy that wants to get into people's heads," teasing him gently, and he didn't answer. You grabbed your skates from the employee, thanked them, and moved over to Ben and Matt, Matt standing shakily on his skates. Jesus they were even taller in skates. You began to unlace your shoes and stated gently so it was just them who could hear you. "Not much of a talker is he," to which Ben nodded with a roll of his eyes.

° "M-more of a brooding kind of guy," Matt agreed, "He's a good guy, just obsessed with work and school and isn't much for idle conversation." Ben quickly cut in, "Come on Matty, lets get out there and show these people how its done. Maybe find a girl you can skate your way into," Ben nudged Matt's shoulder and you looked at Matt's face.

° "You're disgusting and w-we should wait for Y/N," Matt said bluntly. However you waved them away, "Go ahead guys, these are boots so its gonna take a while," you assured Matt who was suddenly under the arm of Ben who was leading them to the rink. You smiled after them and kept unlacing your boots as Kylo sat down next to you and began putting on his own skates as well. There was silence for a moment, you assuming he wasn't interested in talking. You pulled off both your boots and began to lace up your skates on your feet. He spoke coolly.

° "So, you and Ben?" He asked calmly, looking at you as he tied a small bow on his skate. You laughed and shook your head, "He wishes but no. I don't want to be another notch in his bed post. We are good friends though, I adore him to pieces," you spoke honestly, "If he ever wanted to calm down, I'd probably consider it. But I'd never ask him to stop doing what he wants. I'd go so far as to say that is just part of who he is. And I love him for it. What about you, anybody in your life?"

° You watch him shake his head, his hair moving with the motion, "I had a pretty bad break up at the end of the last year, I haven't really been looking to go through that again." You nodded as you stood up from your spot, skates securely on your feet. "I feel that, man. My ex broke up with me over a text because I didn't get into the school he wanted me to get into," as he finished tying up his skates, you held out your hand to help him up which he surprisingly took and you had to brace yourself to pull the tall man up, "But hey, new year, new job, new opportunities. Maybe we can find someone worth our time." You finished, smiling at Kylo before releasing his hand and Kylo nodded, "Maybe."

° You left his side then, skating over to Matt, looking at the scene before them. Ben had found someone to talk to, of course. What else would he be doing. You smirk and roll your eyes as you skate next to Matt nonchalantly as you both look at Ben as you skate by. The girl was pretty cute, you supposed you couldn't really blame him. "W-wasn't this supposed to be like a bonding thing?" Matt's soft voice reached your ears and you turned and shrugged. "I'm only here as a referee, otherwise I'm clueless," you stated with a laugh. You figured you'll enjoy the company you had, "So what's your major, Matt?" His eyebrows furrowed together for a moment, looking genuinely surprised that you asked him something to get to know him but he recovered quickly and answered.

° "T-theoritical Physics, I also plan in minoring in Technology. What about you?" He asked curiously, giving you a smile. You answered his question and you happily continued a conversation with him. He was a nice personality, still a little timid but he seemed to warm up to people quickly. You had been chatting him up basically, being just a little bit flirty but making sure only to keep his blushing to a minimum. "So Matt, is it true that blondes really have more fun?" You asked teasingly and were happy to see you making him laugh a little bit. He was about to respond when his smile suddenly disappeared as someone rushed past him, the speed made a wind kick past both of you and right behind it was another blast of wind. Both of you watched as two out of three Solos were racing around the rink. Ben had a look of pure determination, probably because he was losing, meanwhile Kylo was rolling up his sleeves as he speed skated backwards around the ring. You could feel Matt get nervous next to you, but he also almost hissed.

° "S-showboats just like our Grandfather always was," Matt stated bitterly as you both watched the two dark haired men speed around the rink. But suddenly Ben had grin as he suddenly slid towards Kylo, since he was skating backwards he couldn't keep up the speed he had at first so Ben zoomed past him pretending to pass the finish line, arms up in the air as he past you and Matt once again, the most smug look on his strong features. Matt rolled his eyes but suddenly his side was empty as you skated up to Ben to be next to him. "Benny boy, play nice," you stated with a smirk and he smirked as well as he turned around to skate backwards and look at you. "He started it, I swear," Ben stated, lifting his hand up to show he meant it.

° "Sure he did," you stated, faking that you didn't believe him. "Whatever, kid." You both stuck your tongues out at each other before he leaned forward pretending to try and put his tongue on yours before he suddenly had to catch you. You almost fell because you were trying to avoid his tongue but he caught you in his arms before you both started laughing. You skated together. Ben occasionally looking over to his brothers who were talking to each other and staring at the two of you.

° You finally sit down when your pizza is brought out. And the thing really is freaking huge, with these 3 giants and yourself, you guys barely finish the half of the damn thing. After eating, you, Ben, and Matt take off your skates, but don't bother putting on your shoes because you all knew you'd be going back on the rink. Kylo however put his shoes on. He did say he didn't plan on staying long, maybe he planned on leaving soon. Ben pulled you and Matt over to the arcade as you both held and enormous amount of tokens in your pockets. Matt immediately went for the old school games, Pac-Man, Space Invaders, Cinepede, the classics. Meanwhile Ben had moved over to the more physical ones, basketball, whack-a-mole, things like this. Lastly, you had sat down at a Jurassic Park game, the one where you sat down in something that looked like the Jeep from the movie and there were spots for two people, and two plastic guns, one red one blue. You set your tokens on the plastic "dashboard" and started filling in coin after coin. You pressed the start button and began.

° These games were something you just couldn't resist. Plus it had freaking dinosaurs. Who could honestly resist dinosaurs? You began, and it started out easy enough. But soon you were overwhelmed. "Ben!" You called to the side, filling in more coins and pressing the start button so you didn't lose your place. "Busy!" Ben called over to you as he shot basketballs into a moving hoop. "Matt Matt Matt!" you called over to the other side but you got no answer. You dared to look over to see Matt with his eyes two inches away from the screen and was obviously deep in concentration. You weren't sure if Kylo came over to the arcade at all but you were gonna try anyway. "Kyl--" Knock knock, you looked over to see a man move to sit next to you. You chanced to look over and saw Kylo himself, "--Oh. Quick quick, start button!" but he was already two steps ahead of you. He grabbed the red gun and slammed his fist on the start button. You immediately felt the stress of the game lift off your shoulders as Kylo began to help out. You both cleared the level no problem but soon the next one began and you two stayed at the ready. It was... Intense. Both of you were so focused, neither really noticed that Ben and Matt had moved to be next to the game, peeking over your shoulders to see the game. You didn't really notice until when you both finished the next level and Ben cheered for you loudly and you almost jumped out of your skin. You laugh at your reaction as does he but when you suddenly become serious again and gun points at the screen, he laughs even louder.

° You were getting close to the end, you and Kylo had blasted through most of the last level, but now here you both were, face to face with the mighty, the powerful, god of dinosaur world, the T-Rex. Ben had his hand on your shoulder while Matt cheered on Kylo with quiet cheers. "Left Left Left!" You stated loudly and Kylo pointed his gun and shot. That was it. The machine rattled and roared as the T-Rex fell and the credits began to roll. Ben and Matt cheered loudly as you and Kylo kept watching the screen. As the high scores came up, your score traveled up the screen and a small tune played through the speakers as you and Kylo took the lead! "Oh wait quick quick!" You pulled out your phone as Kylo put your first initial, and "&" symbol, and then a K to finish it off. You pulled the man close to you by his shoulder and smiled brightly. Kylo didn't really give a full smile, but a little half one as you snapped the photo. You pulled it back and showed it to him.

° "Very nice, you look cute," Kylo spoke simply before taking your phone from your fingers delicately and you watched over his shoulder as you sent the photo to what you could assume was his phone number before he handed your phone back. You usually would have said atleast something to the fact that he just grabbed your phone without asking, but you were honestly a little confused. He just called you cute, right? Or at least, that you looked cute? Weird. You showed the picture to Ben and he said that you did look pretty cute but that was pretty much par for Ben. "Send it to me so I can send it to mom!" Ben said and you looked a little offended.

° "Excuse me, Ben, I can send it to Miss Organa my damn self. She gave me her number before we left!" You teased, but you still sent it to him anyway. Ben had a thing for pictures. Capturing a moment to have forever. You climbed out of the jeep, Kylo doing the same before he turned to his brothers and pulled them over. You assumed it was to say goodbye for the night. You waved goodbye to Kylo as he turned to leave and he gave a small goodbye as well. Matt smiled and explained he better get heading out too, before asking if he could have half of the half of pizza you had left. You grabbed him a box and packed it for him while he put on his shoes. "Oh, Matt let me get your number, we can go get coffee or something soon," you stated with a smile as you saw that pink blush spread across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose once again.

°"O-okay," he stated, smiling back and he said his number to you before waving goodbye to you and Ben and heading out with his pizza in tow. As soon as he walked out the door, Ben leaned over and rested his head on top of yours, sighing softly.

° "That went pretty well," you stated gently, raising your hand and scratching his head before running fingers through his hair gently before feeling him nod. "They like you. Kylo just told me not to scare you away," he laughed, standing up straight and moving over to your table. "Want to go back on the rink one more time before we go?" He asked and smiled as you nodded happily. Both of you pulled on your skates and headed back to the rink. You two had your pinky fingers linked as you skated around the rink, talking warmly before Ben came in for a hug. These weren't exactly a rare occurrence, Ben was a touchy-feely kind of guy and loved physical contact. But sometimes when he went in for those long hugs, those that meant something to him. And after getting a few of them by this time in your friendship, you took them seriously and always hugged him tightly back. He rested his face into your hair, just purely relaxed. "Thank you for coming tonight, Y/N. I really appreciate it." He stated sincerely. You smiled against him and nodded happily warm in his embrace.

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

This had to be explained to me this morning...

Okay why I don't fucking know and they won't bother because it's fucking dumb and lazy I'm quite sure.

But.

Apparently I won't be home for Christmas, Annabelle and I will be stuck out at the Uncle, Clone, Socrates Christmas Horror with probably my cousin Chris.. Maybe my brother...

And so I said "what are people supposed to think? They're supposed to be happy and experiencing new things, this is old shit and for me?! That's gonna make them feel even worse knowing I can't be with my Kidd over some stupid invalid shit that I don't even understand except it's just plain laziness, idiotic and definitely developed by a male!! A male that's lazy about his family!!"

William: let me defend myself

Me: shut up

So I was told by someone, someone i stole a gun from shortly before my faux 16th birthday in an attempt to help save the planet (Not William but an undercover CIA agent), that in his heart he was told that this Christmas when people look around think 'Sabrina is missing out on this kind of happiness with her family' that they should remember and realize that the sadness they feel for me was felt for millions of human trafficked victims world wide, every Christmas and every holiday.

Some of us didn't know about it. Or had forgotten. So let this be the last Christmas any one is sad. It will always be a serious issue in our hearts and minds and souls. But not forever should we carry the burden of sadness and fear.

This year is the eradication of the solitude of the sadness of each Holiday being sad. Now we all know why gramma would sit in the chair alone hugging herself quietly at,the end of the day or sit the camcorder in the corner and refuse to participate like a granddaughter thought she should and try to get her to interact more because she didn't seem happy enough.

This Christmas: the sadness shall be replaced with cheer. The fear with triumph and joy.

And yes you will remember I'll not be happy and my kids without their parents.

But they have my real mom and dad. My real twin brother. Their not real Uncle that loves them as much as a dad. And many more people, nearly 100 in their neat home giving them best wishes and having Christmas dinner.

No way in Hell nor God's green Earth would i allow them to miss Christmas.

So today they will open presents from Uncle Garth and tomorrow Trisha's stockings, the next day from the Dildo King who has been making new things with his family (faux Uncle Garth and real Uncle Matt) that i asked Uncle to purchase 3 years ago in preparation of taking care of my children. And on down. And hopefully I'll be able to get there while Christmas is still happening.

I'm there in spirit as i always have been and that is my Christmas Lesson to know I cared about Children i didn't know i had. And for Declan and Annabelle, too. To know they also assumed one day they would feel Christmas joy as they once had when they were little and alone, listening to little voices explain how things were different where they lived yet no matter how close they felt they knew things were too far to really feel the Christmas joy as they should. This year they will know why.

As Declan explains. Its beautiful because they never expressed unhappiness or even jealousy or loneliness, just an eagerness to understand what they were missing out on because their belief was one day they would experience it out of slavery and here with us.

And it's true. Since my divorce... The ability to do Christmas All big and strong has dwindled... Because i have too much pain, mostly physical and can't gather the strength to make it perfect in every way. And as getting older goes Declan couldn't also hide his worries from his soulmate. Although we worked together to make it best for Annabelle. For us it was more about "Thank God it's Done and everything went perfect"

So this year... Apparently William's laziness wants us to feel that before Christmas. -.- or at Christmas. -.- like i really care. We still have so much work to do! We have mental health and we have bunkers to redo so they're not bunkers and factories to move and figure out what to do with. And employ people at a rate that doesn't cause insane inflation. Like work is never over. So Idk whst the fuck hes thinking. Im All about letting those miserable souls we can't get the missle at think they can enjoy Christmas. Pay a lot of someone's an insane amount of money to miss Christmas and sit outside their house and shadow shot them when they attempt to leave. Drop down the fucking chimney at night... Now that it's raining because the world cries for us...maybe that's not the best idea but still you get the picture. See, my husband is lazy and has no defenses. But i still love him anyways although his life woild be easier if he just listened and didn't pretend he didn't ever hear whole discussions we had where he was all "oh that's so smart!!" And make new plans when he sure as Hell knew i wasn't listening and my face looked like this:

And he tells me i should take a picture of myself because hes too afraid to tell me i look mad and wants to soften things up.

Uh Yeah when you abandon me in Hell when i fully expressed that i wanted him to come back full body in our old truck and drive me to Macy's in Oklahoma So we can get the kids Christmas presents in the form of bedding and some holiday clothing like nice dresses and suits. That they can wear while playing in mud puddles because that's what life is about as stains are like scars but stains remember less pain usually, and more laughter than tears and fears. Then he could leave me at Uncle Garths while he goes back to work. So we could spend the whole drive together and shopping time and then Declan could caravan with us.

But no. Hes all about abandonment because its easy. -.-

And now he's like way way beyond scared. Well that's what a mad face is about. Its the door to truth. And truth isn't always happy or pretty.

Its scary. And it's real. And it doesn't go away. Its Not just a point of view, it is total truth. Its at least 2 points of view and a validation.

When i told him what i wanted he promised he could do it and wss very happy.

So then later he's rambling about me stsying here while im busy making gingerbread houses and I'm quite sure he inhaled too much Stevia powder we used for snow.

William: hey now I don't wanna be in control anymore i want my wife to tell me what to do!

Uncle Donald: are you trying to hide behind Uncle Donald?

William: I'm heading that way!

Uncle Donald: well you get back to body life for yourself and we will make sure you get there safe. If not we will Chinook her express. How does that sound?

William: well uhhh how does that sound to you? Im asking Uncle Donald.

Uncle Donald: well you have a period of 2 hours to decide then we are taking her and the kids and Uncle Dan, as she calls him, with respect because hes always been kind to her.

Me: sounds good to me

William: what about those other guys that have been fighting for her?

Me: Christmas comes the same time every fucking year. Like you they ain't spent it with me so they obviously don't care.

William: well uh they care, now.

Me: because they have an opportunity to and they're all taking too long. What? We put the calender on pause because they didn't make their own opportunities? No they hurry the fuck up. Maybe they will make it but not fair to my children to wait on them to finish and any husband od kine will understand that.

William: not if they always lived in a bunker

Me: well that is why we already placed human trafficking victims with their families as best and as fast as we can So that they can learn to understand. Because it's not something that can be taught, its something that's felt only when together in happiness and love in a group. Its like having a whole meal and not just a bag of chips.

William: that's all you gotta say.

Uncle Donald: Sabrina...

Me: we already have a standing plan from August. It will be easy.

Uncle Donald: that's all

Me: thank you. And Merry Christmas.

[adhd-ahamilton]

C F I M S T Y :) (I'm sorry....) ❤️

Never apologise for responding to these memes :P And oh, one of them’s already done, so that’s ONE less... :P

C: What character do you identify with most?

Lmao that’s a really good question!! It’s funny... I think many of us went through a similar process here, of liking Hamilton and relating to him, but then also encountering Laurens and really relating to him? But I think that’s because Hamilton is a specific kind of person, that a lot of the time it’s less relating to him outright and more... looking to him as an example? Both good and bad. Being enthralled by him and wanting to learn from him and figure out how to take on those qualities of passion and ambition and hard work without also gaining the many negative qualities. And I think that’s part of what interested John about Alex as well - John had so much tendency to self-doubt, and of course there was the whole issue of what he would study and how his dad basically forced him into law, but then there’s Alex who is so sure of what he’s going to do and how he’s going to do it...

But ramble aside: I identify a lot with Laurens like emotionally? And tend to project my insecurities and worries onto him. And also since I am also a white person from a wealthy family I try to kinda... be aware of that through him, as a way to work through what it’s easy to forget in my position and how I need to do better. So I guess I relate to him morally, as well. But... I first did get into this fandom because I saw something in Hamilton that I almost never saw in any other characters. Like, I almost never really relate to characters? There isn’t any character at all I can point to and say ‘yep, they’re just like me’? And Hamilton spoke to me in a bunch of ways I didn’t think I’d ever find. But like I said, it’s also partially a lesson thing - he taught me that I could be the way I was and still work and achieve things and be useful and do good, but it was also kind of a ‘yeah you can do better in THESE ways though, wow’ kind of thing. So though I don’t write from his POV much for various reasons, I definitely relate to him in some really important ways as well.

And uh, beyond this fandom... I love Leslie Knope but I’m more like Ben Wyatt, and there’s a whole bunch of moe anime girls that I relate way too much to (like Suou from Flowers and Hanamaru from Love Live! and oh god, Tsukimi from Princess Jellyfish for sure...)

F: Care to share a favorite hurt/comfort fic?

Hmmmmm! :O There are a lot of good ones by Madtom and Publius in their whole verse! Also, going through my fic tag... wow this one by ciceroprofacto is SO GOOD (it’s not like overtly hurt/comfort but the overtone is definitely there in the end).

And beyond this fandom... I was into Supernatural right before this and lmao, canon-verse Dean/Castiel is like, inherently hurt/comfort :P And yet my favourite is probably this human AU one where Dean is a paraplegic and Cas is a guy who comes in to hang out and talk with people at the care facility and it’s written so so sensitively and avoids a lot of the gross ableist tropes that are so common in this type of fic because it’s written by someone who actually knows their stuff a lot and it’s REALLY GOOD and great!!

(Also just in general I tend to bookmark fic on AO3 when I like them, and I read for a pretty broad array of fandoms, so if you’re looking for recs you might find some you like there!)

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

MAN like I really have a thing for like... stuff to do with intimacy? Specifically, kinda mismatched or forced intimacy or whatever. Like the classic ‘there’s only one bed’ thing, where two characters who are just friends (or, like ‘’just friends’’) suddenly have to share a bed together, or the even MORE classic pretend lovers thing, where two friends have to pretend to be a couple and it’s all awkward and uncomfortable and they start feeling it FOR REAL but then it’s like nooo they’re only pretending, we have to act like we’re so close but we’re not but I wish we were...! MAN it’s so great!! Like IDK there’s just something about characters ending up in this position and it’s awkward but they end up learning so much about each other and then falling for each other and that just makes it even worse... Love it :’)

Or like, I looove like sexual tension and friendships that tip just a bit over too much and that steady slow burn as they get closer and closer and they’re SO CLOSE to getting together but NOT QUITE and they’re so much PINING and TOUCHING and ahhhh!!!!

Also just, projecting as much of myself and various identities and stuff onto characters as possible :P

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you'd care to share?

S-so many... orz hmmMMM here’s a couple!

A modern day AU Hamburrger thing where they dated in college and now they’re both politicians and it comes out and Ham just kinda admits to it because what does he care and now Burr is just *screaming internally* at all times because he actually wanted to keep every tiny bit of his private life out of the public sphere, thanks?

Another Hamburrger thing where Ham is just trying to have a fun sexy time but Burr keeps unintentionally prodding at Ham’s really painful memories and stuff and it all just falls apart

One that I’ll almost certainly never write but: Lams AU assuming Ham dies in 1804 (which I don’t think he would but whatever) and Alex Jr is mourning but it’s difficult at home because he and Eliza never got along that well so he ends up staying over with Laurens instead and somehow they get to talking and finding ways to mourn together and Eliza as well and it’s all awkward and sad but they’re figuring it out eventually somehow

Various other Lams AU things, including: a kind of day in the life thing featuring domesticity and more Ham and Frances interaction, Laurens first moving into the city next to Ham and a LOT of domesticity and also porn?, Ned Stephens showing up and effectively doing the ‘if you hurt him I’ll kill you’ to Laurens, Alex and Eliza talking about the whole ‘Im cheating on you with a man’ thing where they are both irrevocably on different pages and will never agree but at least start to understand each other a little better

John and Francis meeting up during the war. Which sounds like a perfectly simple premise which I totally don’t need to research at all before I start writing it in my head!!!

Also I couldn’t write it myself because I don’t know nearly enough but I’d be really curious to see a Lams fic set in modern times, but like, where they’re both still in the military? Obviously such a fic would have to engage with the whole issue of the American military and all but like, we already have to engage with slavery as a thing, soooo it’s hardly foreign territory (no pun intended).

S: Any fandom tropes you can't resist?

Already covered part of that :P I love those dumb plots that basically revolve around ‘two characters are stuck together! How do they react?’ because there are just so many ways they can go depending on the characters and that’s really interesting!!

I also really love domestic fic including kid fic, historical AUs, interesting formats (like epistolary etc.), Outsider POV, and of course slow burn!

I quite like fandom tropes in general, to the extent that people really do, like... cross-reference the pairing and characters to the trope and write it specifically for them, and not just some Generic Pretend Couple Fic and change the names? I just really like seeing all the subtle differences between different interpretations of the same characters, when it’s done well!

T: Any fandom tropes you can't stand?

Hoo boy :) Well first up, I’m not into D/s, so any kind of A/b/o and slavefic and stuff I just walk right past. And as I implied above, when I get into a pairing, I really like to get into like... what makes that pairing special and unique and different? So I really dislike any stuff which cleaves towards making them more generic, like ‘jock!{character}/nerd!{character}’ type fic, which usually just ends up exactly the same as any other jock/nerd fic. (Also maybe it’s just cause I’m Aussie but we...didn’t ever actually have strict groupings like that in high school? So those fic in particular are just. Bizarre to me.)

Related, I tend not to like high school/college/coffee shop AUs because they’re usually like really overtly ‘hey this is what it is like for people here!! haha doesn’t it reflect your time in college really well? this is just what things are like for me!!’ and they are...usually not relatable to me. At all. Because my experiences are quite weird;;; So I just. don’t enjoy reading them because it makes me feel bad lol.

And uhhhh I really dislike fic where people go hard on the sarcasm and stuff? Like it mostly just ends up making them sound like assholes. I admit I’m particularly sensitive to this but I really, really hate people who mock and insult other people for just being themselves and doing what they want and 90% of snarky seems to be about that, especially when done by inexperienced writers. But even experienced writers do this sometimes when they get this idea that banter is good writing 100% of the time or that it’s too ‘’’simple’’’ just to write a character being like... nice? Or genuine? (Like holy shit I got soooo damn sick of snarky!Castiel like yeah great he is sarcastic OCCASIONALLY in canon, he’s not a grumpy asshole 24/7, where do people get this??? But it’s also something that comes up a lot in Hamilton musical fic and. yeah.)

Aaaand that’s probably enough lmao thanks for asking again!!! :D