#i'm just writing a diary entry in the tags now whatever i should go to bed

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

underrated shb urianger character detail is that he's successfully counter-scammed the pixies into regularly preparing afternoon tea for him. also explains why he survived that long in il mheg. he's beating them at their own game

[thepowerisyouth]

EDIT-AS-I-GO-ALONG-JUSTIFY-ALL-MY-ACTIONS-POst

First started February 10th, 2024 in the middle of the night of course. Although I am 22 years old so I should really be saying-- "it all began 22 years ago when I was born"

Sometimes I write rants that are way too long, and I dont feel like editing or deleting it in full, I'm just going to call this what it is:

A very long diary entry I can come back to later. Its got some good stuff I wont lie to myself. But its also probably incomprehensible at times so ignore it as anything but a very rough rant for now

I also plan to invite new-to-the-site people to read my blog (no doubt being exposed to the horrors within my own blog and past). I'm talking bout people who have probably never typed in the letter T, U, M, B, L, R in a row ever once, and boy howdy are they in for the time of their fucking life

For anyone who is reading this right now, and is worried that they might find something truly scarring to their good christian sensibilities on this site, then I heavily recommend using tags, and content filters before delving further down in the dnd dungeon of my blog, or especially the higher level dungeons on the rest of the site for the first time, where the algorithm will absolutely assume you are ready for the same things the rest of the demographic here wants to see.

(Its a lotta porn. Okay? I'm talking about different unique genres of drawn, or whatever medium of porn mainly. Thats scary to a new person)

So grandma-- buckle up. Jesus take the wheel. Have faith in me & humanity. Its going to be a ride to get there but I truly believe you are capable of it

The whole philosophy I'm preaching is about expanding horizons in a respectful way, so please do so.

With that in mind, in order to prepare any newbies to this site in an engaging and fun way, I had to poke fun in what might be taken in a bad way at the site. I dont mean that. I love this site. I liken my words of preparation to what you might say before bringing your transphobic family into your home full of very queer friends

If you really wanna get mad at me, please do, I love hearing dissenting opinions.-- "Life is full of contractions" as they say.-- But please do so in truly, humanizing, empathically good faith. On every. Single. Post you see. Not just mine of course. Theres a lot more to be said on methodology of public discourse that is a huge part of my philosophy so this post really delves into this

Last thing for now before this post gets even more nitty-gritty:

This is really important, but only for any person who at any point doesn't understand something I'm talking about, and is discouraged by that fact to continue reading up on this philosophy. Don't let that discourage you. I made a perfect science ACT score way back when, and it was all thanks to (and literally nothing else) the simple, but persistent learning skill which is: ignore everything you dont know for now. If you start to notice it happens more than once on something you don't deem irrelevant, than ask questions, but often times people get bogged down by big words, but really do get the gist of an argument. And thats more than enough understanding for a first read. Learning takes many attempts. People learn different materials at different rates and thats a fact

Disclaimer 1: I think the other things counted as number ones but I'm starting here with the numbering

Disclaimer 2: I'm wrong. A lot. I talk with varying degrees of confidence because all language capable humans in existence do that, but literally quantum mechanics--the core principles of our universe as we understand them today-- teaches us that everything acts with a bit of a standard error. Theres no coincidence in the universe why statistics is a field of study.

My standard error is +/-50% on being 50% correct. My point is dont @ me for using an incorrect degree of confidence, because as a trained financial analyst I can attest they are all fucking wrong all the time just like me. However, none of them are wrong about most of the things they say, they simply draw the wrong conclusions most of the time

However, if you believe that the ideals which I, and others like me, are preaching are true than you should in good-faith contribute to making this philosophy more refined, not just be a toxic asshole on the internet. I think most sensible people are past that by now, come on.

I think the last thing I can think to say on this specific point about being wrong (there will always be more to say later), is that a lot of us are inclined, in this world, to only trust things when we've really tested & read into every possible source. And that's for every right reason in the world. But there is no denying that there is gate keeping to science. Huge barriers to entry. Exponentially balooning costs to scientific study. Not to mention just like.. paywalls on every site nowadays. Everyone.

I believe that in this year-of-our-lord-mr-krabs 2024 we need to turn back to philosophy to understand all of our problems, more specifically all of our greviences with capitalism. With the important caveat that we do, in fact, have probably thousands or millions or billions more questions answered than our favorite old philosophers. Fuck yes thats exciting! Because that only makes philosophy today work even better. I think it will help us answer trillions more

Disclaimer 3: I also justify myself. A lot. I'm doing it right now. And now. Every word.

This is an edit at the top after reading over disclaimer 3 once: I think I'm defining justification the same way a scientist thinks of evidence. Also context. It really is just all the same thing. I just needed to add that because I wasnt clear about my definition below

I think as time goes on, people will probably justify themselves more, and more, and more, but while also finding ways to better communicate those justifications in a quicker, more efficient way. Like how encryption and decryption science is a super cool and fast growing study. Kinda cool and star trek if you really think about it far enough

The reason I justify justifying myself is that we have, in fact, learned to encrypt and decrypt many things through our own brains and language. If I say a word that someone else knows, than I save time by not having to jump into every possible nook-and-cranny of explaination. This bit of framing about language being an efficiency/encryption/decryption thing will come back a lot in my writings

I read that over, and told myself: "okay bennet I think you lost the point there" so I need to circle back and say that when we speak we are trying--- desperately -- to find a way to decrypt the crazy encryption that is our thoughts. And because trial and error is effective, we often just jump to saying a bunch of things that have worked in the past, in the hope that the listener will respond with the rewarding joy of 2 people in understanding. A puzzle solved, if you will.

For example, if you engage with my post and I perceive that engagement to be positive, than I will probably, uncontrollabley get a rush of dopamine that cocaine only wishes it could give. You know this is true, because you've felt it too

Disclaimer 3a - mistakes are really cool. I finally know why the Japanese have that thing where they highlight mistakes in a piece. Its about making. It. Memorable. I have a great story example on a post here, but I think most people can agree with my position that its easier to remember when you are wrong-- than right.

What that means-- this is super duper uber wuper sluper important. Things that are memorable are part of the decryption key to language. There is a way that we are all figuring out how to communicate where we utilize what some percieve as mistakes to draw in attention, then listener either remembers the key or has to find it, then both move forward, happy having solved the issue of decrypting a bunch of literally just electricity and sound waves coming from a very real human in front of you. How cool is it that we can apply the framework of humans as puzzle solvers to better communicate our crazy thoughts?

To wrap that up-- this doesnt include all forms of language, of course. But I think its a humanist framework for understanding how we can be more effective communicators.

I read over that whole 3a thing and I already had plenty of questions and dissents for myself. Going to just add for now that if we extend our definition of the word mistake, to include ANYTHING that catches the attention more than expected, than yes, this framework makes more sense.

The next time I read that over I thought I could add that people are drawn by knowledge. Something which isnt new to us just isnt interesting. We know this already, but I'm connecting it to this point.

3b - the fact that I bring up humanist arguments for encouraging memory promoting activities brings to mind that it IS HEALTHY FOR US AND HELPS US AVOID NEURODEGENERATIVE DISORDERS

Disclaimer 4: Like most people on this site, most people who arent depressed (I call tired depressed I was told I'm bipolar its what I do), and honestly all leaders, influencers, artists, actors, scientists, innovators, most entrepreneurs---- yatta yatta yatta everyone okay. Bascially, arguments sake, I mean every human being on the planet. I am capable of great, sometimes too great, emotion. If I wasnt Id be dead. If that emotion seems overwhelming, or too much, then please just take a break, or take a step back and try and reframe everything I'm saying as a deperate plea for help from a very young (I was born in 2001), very hungry, person. More on this later

Disclaimer 5: I'm ex mormon. I come from Texas. I use a LOT of religious sounding talk. There is good reason for that and there's good reason I'm giving this it's own disclaimer. Theology & philosophy go hand-in-hand and theres a quadrillion combinations of words I could barf up from the deepest pits of my mind to discuss.

In the interest of keeping the top of this disclaimer an actual one I'm going to stop for now by saying I think I'm correct in using this language so liberally, for now, because it really does work as a way to connect with people who are used to hearing that language. Most #religiouslytraumatized people I know do the same, and Ive yet to find a good reason to stop. But if someone does get triggered from my religious verbiage at all, please let me know. I'm sure theres a way we can work it out that will make both of us feel better. Probably would just be me watching my damn satanist mouth or something

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

Dear Fucking Diary: Entry the 1st - The Lothario On the Other Side of My Wall

Pairings: Dean x Fem!OFC (Daisy)

Explicit 18 +/Warnings: None in this chapter. Some mentions of penis size and sex in general. Also, some cursing - but I mean, did you read the title! 😉😁 Brief mention of emotional/mental abuse.

Word Count: 390

DFD: Series Masterlist

Series Summary: I've been tasked with writing in this fucking diary like a some teenage girl. It sucks, but who else am I going to talk to about the incredible hottie who lives next door?

Chapter Summary: 1st entry. I can't deal with the noises from my neighbor's apartment. It's making me horny angry.

A/N:  This series has popped into my head from out of nowhere. It was supposed to be a whole other thing, but then it just morphed into this. (Cause I needed more series to work on! 🙄😄) Hope you like it, I should be releasing a new entry every few days, and I think there will be about 7 or 8 entries. This entry is short and sweet, but most of the others will range between 1000 and 3000 words. Thanks everyone!! 🥰

The awesome divider at the bottom is created by @talesmaniac89

Dear Diary,

God, I hated writing that. I feel like some kind of teenage girl writing about the dreamy boy in my homeroom class. Dear Diary, I'm just gonna die! Brandon said hi to me in the hallway! His blue eyes are so dreamy!

Actually, his eyes are green. Fuck! I don't know why I wrote that!

Dr. Hailey said I'm not supposed to edit my journal, that I'm supposed to write just whatever comes to mind, but I really didn't mean to write about HIM. My green-eyed, apparently hung like a horse, sex god, neighbor.

I say he's hung like a horse because I've now heard no less than three women shout some variation of the words, "Oh my God! You're huge!" through the paper thin walls of my apartment. The Dude is some kind of lothario I guess, cause he's got a different woman with him every time. I've seen them coming in and out of the apartment block.

Not that I sit on my tiny balcony and obsessively watch his comings and goings or anything. I just like to sit out there in the evenings with a glass of wine and in the mornings with a cup of coffee and that's when he's bringing them home in his big, black, sleek car, and sending them on their way, in the back of a taxi.

I swear, I'd assume he was some kind of escort or something if I hadn't seen him in the hallway wearing mechanic's overalls from some place called Singer Auto. Not that he couldn't moonlight as an escort on the side, I guess...hmm...I wonder what he'd charge?

I'm not doing very well with the whole not editing thing. Dr. Hailey says I'm not supposed to filter myself. That I ended up where I did partly because I filtered out my true feelings and wouldn't advocate for myself.

Which is strange because I thought I ended up where I did because He Who Shall Not Be Named was an abusive prick. But you know, whatever. I'm not a psychologist, so here I am writing in a journal like a thirteen year old.

Although, I guess most thirteen year old girls don't write about the size of a guy's dick and his possible life as a male prostitute. Not many of them anyway.

Ugh! I hate this!

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