#i'm just realizing we've been mutuals for how long and you don't have an emoji?

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

i am so sorry, i didn't realize how vague that sounded until i saw it posted. whoops! anyway, do you have any tips on how to build confidence in initiating play? not just sex - making out, foreplay, etc. we've talked about it a few times because i don't like feeling like i'm always initiating play, and there's been some progress with them being the one to start. we're both really into each other, and have said so multiple times bc i don't want them to think that i'm upset when i initiate 1/2

2/2 but they’re still hesitant about just, like, going for it? like, I respond positively both in words and in literal horny-ness and I just don’t know how else to go about helping them be more confident? neither of us are super experienced overall, but we were both open about that from the start and I want to grow with them, not make them feel like something's lacking

hi anon,

GREAT to hear from you again, and I'm so glad to be able to approach the situation with so much more information! you've given me a great amount of info here, and it sounds like the two of you are in a really good place of mutual understanding and concern for each other's comfort and just need a liiiiiiittle nudge to get more on the same page.

first and foremost you should talk to your partner and help them try to identify what's causing this hesitation in spite of your positive feedback. if it's a case of being nervous about their intentions being reciprocal, or something of that nature, I'm going to recommend the sexiest thing on earth: clearly stated boundaries and, possibly, periods of time marked specifically as sexytimes.

sit down and make a very clear list of ways both of you would like sexual play to be initated. figure out where there's overlap, talk about things that are new to either of you, identify what may be one person's "yeah!" and another person's "no, thank you." most importantly, identify if there are any obvious conflicts in how each of you communicate and want to be communicated with. if your preference is to get slammed down big style on a mattress and going directly to poundtown and your partner prefers to start things off with a three hour cuddle session, that's going to take some working around!

I doubt your preferences are actually that drastic, but the fact may be that your partner just isn't as naturally inclined to take charge as you. that's fine, but it also means you'll have to get creative finding ways to make sure you don't always have to initiate, since it sounds like that's bit of a chore for you. this is where things like scheduled sex nights (or whatever times work well for you) come in. set aside a night you can be together without interruptions or time constraints, taking off the pressure to perform quickly or on any particular timetable. prior to getting together, agree to the expectation that you're both interested and looking forward to having sex - with the rule that your partner has to initiate, whether that's physically, verbally, or something else. doesn't matter, as long as they're the one to take the plunge and get things moving. having a very clear window in which a particular behavior is both expected and desired can take a lot of pressure off an anxious mind!

you could also make a fun little game that allows you to flag when you're interested while still having your partner sometimes be the one to properly initiate. that could be anything from a play on real gay flagging tactics (putting on a certain accessory, including an actual hankie tucked on your person) to sending them a suggestive emoji or something flirty like "surprise me." the point is to have you give your partner tacit permission that puts the ball in their court, so to speak, to escalate things in a more sexual direction.

as always, the process of navigating and negotiating what sex will look like for you can be dead sexy, and I truly believe the two of you can have a lot of fun figuring this out together :)

[reidslibrarybook]

hii nat <33 how are youu? <33

hey heyyyyy, i'm doing just dandy lmaoo. how are you? i feel like we haven't interacted in a while <3

[thatiranianphantom]

Why I think B*rchie MAY be over quickly.

Look, gonna put it out there right now: I may be wrong. I may be entirely too hopeful and they may in fact want to drag this ship out until they have zero fans left, because goddamn it, if the network won't cancel them they'll cancel themselves!

Regardless, here is what I think is likely.

1. They have never framed BA well. Never. Literally every time B*rchie gets brought up, it's in a negative format. And almost always, it's at a low point for Betty. Case in point:

S1: Archie rejecting Betty.

S2: Betty and Archie kissing during the lowest point for Betty and neither of them wanting to pursue that any further.

S4: Betty and Archie kissing and having it be (rightfully) acknowledged as cheating, Betty shutting it down.

S5: Betty and Archie hook up when Betty is at an exceptionally low point and Archie wants to hook up with Veronica.

S6: Betty and Archie are living together, but he is entirely dismissive of her wanting to adopt and oh yeah, she kills him twice.

Look, for all their talk about wanting to "explore" BA, they really don't. They want to use it for drama. It would be so easy to frame it well. Look, I get the distrust for the writers. I do. But even they know how to make the audience root for a couple. They do. There were so many times they could have framed B*rchie well. Talked up their mutual interests, showed them connecting emotionally to each other, made them rely on each other for something they'd only get from the other. They didn't. Deliberately. They went the opposite direction, actually. Through the entire series, we're to see B*rchie as an obstacle. A drama to be overcome. Even when they were happy in the 'vale, they weren't. Six seasons later, why am I to believe that this time they mean it. Six seasons in, one season max away from the end of their run, this time they mean it?

2. I don't think them putting BA in the trailer bodes well for them, nor do I think it's a positive thing for them that they haven't yet dealt with the curse.

3. These two are a bit looser, the ones I don't put a ton of stock in: we've heard next to nothing from Evan or any of the BA twitter accounts. Could it be because the trailer isn't out yet and they don't have the content to work with? Maybe. But I just feel like if they knew something, it'd have leaked by this point, or Evan would be Evan-ing all over the place, instead of commenting nothing but a praying hands emoji.

4. I haven't seen a lot of Lili filming with KJ (nor them being on set a lot - filming schedules post Christmas are weird. Ditto Cole and Erinn, but neither post a lot so it's difficult to tell.

5. How very Riverdale would it be to just build this all up for as long as they have and then just shrug well that's over to BA an episode or two in? So so Riverdale.

6. Roberto himself has said the ships "run their course". Since they've never been able to sustain BA, I can see it petering out in an episode or two when they realize they have nothing in common. JT will last a bit longer but past episode 8 I think it's the beginning of the end for these two.

7. At the very least, Betty and Archie will be pulled to different plots, and soon. They've never shared a plot for more than an episode or two, and when their plots diverge, they functionally never interact.

Anyway. Again, maybe I'm wrong, but I don't see this lasting long at all. Would love to hear thoughts though!

Also, to the people who will screenshot this and, ahem, comment, what's your favorite color? I like orange but I am unique in this. Validate me before you decry me!

[vs-redemption]

I love Soft Saturday/Sunday! :3 I remember you posted a selfship of yourself and I wanted to try one for me lol so, here goes! It was a bit hard/weird because I don't think any of these wonderful guys would be with me ^^U It was still fun to do though!

1.) Belle x Todoroki, Shouto (Bellouto? Shoutelle? Belloroki?)

- I'd probably be very distant with Todoroki at first because of his cold demeanor. It would have to be Midoriya who would get us together.

- We would end up sitting together at the same lunch table, chatting with our group of friends. Eventually our love for noodles would bring us closer. I would buy him some different types of cold soba or even show him unique recipes to try out. If I ever see anything soba related, I'd text him and say "Look! I thought of you! It's your fave ^^"

- Once he opens up about his past, I'd probably get teary eyed and give him a big hug. I'd thank him for trusting me enough with his childhood memories and I'd also eventually open up to him about my own hardships.

- I would give him all my love without smothering him. I'd just want to show him the love and care he deserves especially since he didn't have much of it growing up.

- I think it's the little things that might make Todoroki fall for me. Things like bringing him tea when he's studying late, if he fell asleep before setting up his alarm, I'd put one on his phone and on my own just to make sure he'd wake up on time, praising/acknowledging all of his big and small accomplishments, getting his favorite food when he's sad/had a rough day, sending him cute text messages like "Good morning, handsome!" or even doing something like this:

Me and Todoroki: *studying intensely*

Me: *gasps loudly* OMG

Todoroki: What? O_O

Me: I love you. (´,,•ω•,,)♡

🙈

2.) Belle x Miya, Atsumu (Bellumu? Biya? Atsubelle?)

- I'd have to have known him for a long time before we'd date. Kind of like childhood friends to lovers? If I met him at an older age, I might think he was a jerk and wouldn't want to go out with him.

- I wouldn't be afraid to call him out. Like when Atsumu is having his "if you can't hit my toss then you shouldn't be on the team" moment, I'd probably punch his arm and scold him.

- I'd have to turn it around and tell him "what if someone told you that?" or "treat others the way you want to be treated". I think he'd like that I don't treat him any different or baby him.

- Since we're childhood friends, we're already comfortable with each other. We've also seen, heard, and been through a lot together. We'd know silly small things about each other like "Atsumu always listens to this song right before a game" or "His right eye always twitches 3 times before he sneezes"

- He's seen me go through some relationships and has seen how I've acted/treated the person I'm dating. Atsumu would see that I put in a lot of effort and the stuff I'd do for my previous boyfriends. I think that would eventually make him want to ask me out. It'd be something that he might want to experience, too. Like how it would feel to hold my hand or share a loving embrace.

- When we'd get angry at each other, it could get a bit loud, but we would resolve things quickly.

- Our relationship would also be fun and full of silliness and lovely surprises. He'd do something like honk the horn right when I'm passing in front of his car to get to the passenger side. Atsumu would also surprise me with a gift that I've been eyeing or even a spontaneous trip to somewhere!

3.) Belle x Kageyama, Tobio (Bellayama? Tobelle? Kagelle?)

- We met at a mutual friend's party in college. We'd probably talk about how we were basically dragged there.

-I love to party/hang out, but when I have something to do/ a goal, I strive hard to accomplish it. (ugh, getting some PTSD from nursing school lol)

-We would end up talking about our ambitions and what we hope to end up doing in our lives. After becoming friends for a while, we'd get on the topic of relationships. We'd both want someone who is patient and understands that when we're busy, we're not ignoring them. We're studying/practicing.

-I think that is what convinces both of us to start a relationship.

-We're both busy and can get stressed out easily, but we'd know what to do to ease the stress a little. Like giving Kageyama different flavored milk cartons.

-It would look like we don't spend much time together/don't really act like a couple, but when we have free time, we'd be spending it with each other.

-We'd get our nails done together. （〃・ω・〃）

-We'd both have to think about how great it would be when we get settled with our careers and that we'd have more time to spend together. Planning future adventures/vacations is our motivation.

-Even though I'd miss Kageyama dearly, I totally understand how it feels like when you have other obligations. I'd never want to get in the way of his goal so I would do my best to support him and show my love in any way that I can and that would be something he might love about me.

First off, all three of these amazing boys would love you to pieces! You are so thoughtful and kind and they'd be foolish not to fall for you! I accept no arguments about this. 😊 This got way out of hand so... gonna put my rambling below a cut.

Send me some soft headcanons

Let's talk Todoroki! Gonna be honest... I don't know if I trust Midoriya to play cupid 😂 Of course, meeting Todoroki through him makes sense, but you know who zeros in on how cute you two look together immediately? Yes, it's Mina! Thankfully she's not obnoxious about it, but she does have your back. She expertly manipulates every situation to give you and Todoroki a chance to interact. Somehow, thanks to her, he always ends up sitting/standing right next to you in class, at lunch, in training, on the bus, on the sofa in the common room... EVERYWHERE.

Poor boy would be so confused at first by your attention. Like, of course he doesn't mind being your friend, but nobody else texts or talks to him about his interests outside of hero stuff. He didn't even know anyone noticed he liked soba that much. And all the little things you do for him like bringing him tea or setting an alarm, he's not used to it. He doesn't hate it though. Actually, he kind of likes it. And I just want you to prepare yourself for the day when he takes the initiative and your phones lights up with a message from him for the first time with a picture of some random thing that made him think of you. *my heart would explode*

It's all downhill after that because he really likes the way you respond when he reciprocates your kindness. The flustered look on your face when he brings you some of his sister's homemade soba noodles for lunch, the cute emojis you use in your texts when he messages you first in the morning, and the shy smile you give him when he finds the courage to compliment you. He's never wanted to take care of someone the way he wants to take care of you before.

ATSUMU. You're totally right. I'm the same as you in that I would not trust this little shit for a while after meeting him. Childhood friends to lovers is nice because you there's no way you wouldn't know the real Atsumu. The idea of you knowing little personal things about each other is so cute too. Atsumu takes advantage of this and always gives the best gifts for birthdays and holidays. And he's always so excited to watch you open what he got because he KNOWS you'll love it because he knows YOU.

I'd like to say that he'd be into the fact that you treat him normally like anyone else, but something tells me he would actually expect special treatment since you two are close friends. It would surprise him a little every time you reprimand him for being rude to his teammates or fighting with his brother. He respects you more than anyone else in his life though, so he always straightens up his act just as soon as you give him that look. He hates when you're angry or annoyed at him, so of course he'll be on his best behavior for you. Honestly, he'd do anything to get positive attention from you. (He's already such a simp for you and he doesn't even realize)

He thinks he's just being a protective friend when he criticizes all your previous boyfriends. None of them are even that terrible but in his eyes, nobody treats you the way you should be treated and nobody would ever be good enough. He puts you on a pedestal to be honest. And yes, once you're together it would be full of teasing and giggles and he would absolutely take it too far and overdo it sometimes and get himself into trouble, but it's okay because you know he never means to upset you. He's just so excited and in love with you.

Kageyama's turn. Oh my god! This boy would be so awkward at a college party. He'd probably just be all tall and weird standing in the corner like 😳 what's happening? Thank goodness for you, coming over to talk to him ... but wait... you're so cute... WHY are you talking to him? Now he's flustered for a different reason and he tries his best to have a normal casual conversation with you but he stumbles over his words a bit but bless your heart, you pretend not to notice and continue smiling at him. He thinks you are SO PRETTY!! omg😭

A huge weight lifts off his chest when you start talking about your goals. He knows about goals. That's easy. The look on his face is kind of scary at first because it looks like he's scowling, but he is just listening very intently to you and absorbing every single word. He almost seems like a different person when you let him talk to you about volleyball. His whole face lights up and he's talking very enthusiastically with his hands. He apologizes for ranting at you afterwards, but is also amazed that you'd stayed and let him talk so long.

Being around you IS a huge stress relief. At first he's worried about not spending enough time with you or making you think he's not interested because of his awkward mannerisms. But you're always super understanding and patient with him. Plus, you're just as busy working towards your own dreams. He supports you as much as he can just as you do for him and falling into a relationship is just really easy and natural for the two of you.

Kageyama doesn't really know how to do big extravagant dates, so just being able to take walks with you, or do activities like doing your nails together is enough to make him happy. He WANTS to do more for you though. He would never admit to this, but he actually has a small list of things he plans to do once you both have more time. He pays attention to what you might even consider silly throwaway comments like "One day we should...." or "Sometime I'd like to...." He writes it all down because even if they aren't career goals, those are still things you want which makes them very important to him.