#i'm just glad i was able to sketch something that i don't completely hate LOL

[perplexingly]

ok i'm not very good with words & this is kind of embarrassing for me so i hope this is coherent LOL but. i wanted to thank you for uh. well just posting your art i guess.

i could say i've been in a few years long slump but the truth is i've been in an art slump since i aged out of pre-teenness and grew awareness. i've kind of hated art for years, not just my final product but just the entire process of it. it made me miserable. and yet i felt compelled to do it despite that, despite knowing it would just make me miserable, because idk... i'm an artist? or i want to be? but. it still made me miserable. and to be honest i was reaching the point where i wanted to just give up on art completely because constantly comparing myself & constantly feeling like shit everytime i picked up a pencil just wasn't worth it anymore.

and then! i stumbled upon your art. to be honest i'm a little embarrassed i can't remember which specific piece it was. i have a feeling it was probably istvan, or istenry related (😅) but i can't remember. i do remember how much it struck me though. your work, i mean. your entire style. hope this doesn't sound weird lmao but after that first piece landing on my dash, i just felt compelled to look through your entire blog; and i did! and i only fell more & more in love with your art. i don't think i have the words to explain it, i don't even know if i could even if i did. there's just something about it that i adore even in like the smallest barebones sketch, or wip. what i'm saying is that you very quickly became my new favorite artist haha.

i've been inspired before, like brief rushes or whatever only for it to die immediately because i.. hated it lol. i hated what i made. and i assumed the, quite honestly, constant wave of inspiration your art gave me would be the same. and then it wasn't.

i really don't even like, know how to explain why. i'm not even sure if there is a why? but there's just something about your art that made me want to try, like *actually* try and draw something i love. and then i drew. and for the first time in years, even after weeks passed, i still not only loved the finished product but the entire process as well. and then i did it again. and again. and it was still happening, i still loved what i was making & for even more first times, even when i saw work that was very clearly technically better, i didn't care! for the first time other peoples works, including some of my friends, wasn't just a tool for me to feel worse about myself & my own work, it was just something i could enjoy & that was it.

i don't really understand it to be honest? but i do know that even though it was like, completely indirect, you honestly deserve most if not literally All of the credit for this. it never crossed my mind someone's art could be SO good it would cure my inferiority, and then i started following you and exactly that happened!

so. um yeah kind of a very long message Sorry about that. but basically what i'm trying to say is:

thank you i guess? for making art so beautiful it's enough to rewire someone's brain into falling in love with art all over again. i'm so serious i really do not think i would've been able to ever even like imagine doing that without your art inspiring me. to be honest i think if i hadn't just happened to be online the exact time someone i was following just happened to reblog from you, i have a feeling i really would've just given up art completely: so thank you, really.

i get the vibe from some of your more personal posts that things aren't really going the best right now which, admittedly i can't help with but. i really hope things turn around for you soon. you only deserve great things. ❤️

Omggg I'm so happy for you, it's such a wonderful feeling when you're in love with the art process 🥰 I'm glad you didn't quit art! There's that entire view that art is suffering but when you let go and just draw what you enjoy there's no feeling like it 🥰

Also thank you so much for such a heartfelt message, and for the wishes, you're most kind 🙇‍♀️ I hope all goes well for you too!

[lacecap]

song about something you'll never be forgiven for. beepbox link here, and a singalong under the read more :''-)

starting point "…so don't look back" i took your hand and led you astray into the light i fear i might have made a fatal mistake walk in a straight line walk in a straight line i couldn't ask i only hope that sinners are saved but in all honesty, my honor keeps me somewhat afraid walk in a straight line don't dare look behind ♫♫♫ i had a dream we tried to reach the finishing line but in the silence still the time we killed had come back to life walk in a straight line walk in a straight line the signs had merged into a single "end of the world" where every undead thing was damned to sing "esrever ni gnos a" walk in a straight line …tell me that you're fine ♫♫♫ walk in a straight line (walk in a straight line) don't dare look behind (don't dare look behind) tell me that you're fine (something that had died) you're still breathing right? (are you satisfied?) walk between the lines (how to save a life) don't dare look behind (change the ending line) reach the end this time (tell a little lie) bring me back to life… ♫♫♫ if i'd look back and held the hands that led me astray into the light i'd proudly cry "this is my final mistake" walk with me this time walk with me this time i should have asked i know the answer's somewhat cliché but was it worth the price and worth the pain? you're fading away— walk with me this time bring me back to life… if i'd look back… if i'd look back… if i'd look back… if i'd look back… if i'd look back… if you'd look--