#i'm joking lol. mostly. kinda. okay listen-

[a-tale-of-legends]

Is Eva really into men or does she just like masculine women/butches that is the question

[dilf-docs]

It Always Leads To You

joel miller x younger fem!reader

summary: it's been a year; now you're back. how can joel be so sure of those old summer feelings in your eyes when there's a new hand holding yours?

warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap, toxic relationship, cheating and infidelity themes, mutual pinning, kinda dark!joel, smut, p. in v., pussy pronouns, oral (f. receiving), fingering, manhandling, lowkey forced creampie, ANGST, the taylor swift evermore (2020) references go wild, happy ending cause y'all weak asses voted for it and i love to keep my citizens happy!

word count: 5,199 words

side note: my joel miller era is alive and breathing after this tlou re-watch i'm doing my brother swears it's for him but it's mostly me and my fic/womanly reasons, yes we love gaslight girlkeep girlbossing in here gotta say, finding inspiration for this amidst my wattpad duties and christmas movie marathon was harder than i thought lol. was it worth the wait? please like, comment and reblog to let me know! it's based on this request (they're still open btw!)

part: I / II

Holidays linger like bad perfume.

Your eyes wander through the streets: the roads you've got to call home, the ones where you grew up. They're familiar, but so foreign, it's hard to believe they're the same ones where you scrapped your knees at ten and kissed Joel just last winter. It's as if both timelines, your life, feels more like two separate lives, miles apart.

"Hey, you okay?" tender, from the driver's seat; you're still getting used to the soft.

There's a reassuring smile your way, his hand finding yours to give it a squeeze. You notice his palm is the same size as yours. It fits perfectly, but there's a ghost of what it feels like to have it all wrapped up, looming over your itchy palm like all the yearning's a joke.

You nod. "Just tired. That's all"

He sighs. "If I wanted you to lie to me, I would've just asked"

"I'm not lying" you defend yourself as his pickup truck parks on the sidewalk.

He makes a funny face, and you laugh.

"I'm serious, Nick" your lips purse, a thing you do when you lie, yet he still hadn't noticed, like Joel. "Don't worry"

He doesn't look that convinced, so you take off your seat belt and grab his hand.

"C'mon. Mom and dad must be waiting for us"

"Hey" Nick calls you out.

"Yeah?"

"Who lives there?" and he's pointing behind you.

It's his. Joel's house.

"A friend of my dad's" you answer, dryly.

It was last december when you stood there in his porch, begging. It feels like time has stopped ever since, and you're still right where he left you.

"So will he be here?" Nick asks. "You know, since he knows your dad"

"Don't think so" you shrug, "he's got better things to do anyway. Bitter old man" comes out, with more venom than intended.

"Oh! Alright, sorry for asking"

You come back to your senses, realizing you've shared more than you should.

"No, I'm sorry. It's not that important; let's just go inside"

Your mom and dad greet you as soon as you cross the door. Last year, you'd basically fled away before New Year's, with a poor excuse and a broken heart. They both greet you as if nothing happened, although you're sure they remember your tear streamed face coming back from Joel's house, where it all ended.

As your mom corners Nick with kisses and embarrassing questions, your dad whispers to you:

"Joel asked what happened" you quirk and eyebrow, "wanted to know why you left"

"Eh, it's not important" you try to dismiss. "Definitely not as important for a guy like Joel to know"

"What is that supposed to mean?" your dad inquires. You often wonder if they knew.

"Nothing" you laugh nervously. "Listen, why don't you go and meet Nick, yeah? Did you know he likes fishing too?"

The distraction works with your dad; the same can't be said about you.

There's conversation flowing, but through the snow covered window, your eyes keep glancing back to his own. The view is dark, and you ponder if he's fled as well, the town plagued with memories too painful to reminisce.

You can still feel his hands roaming your body, the lust filled gaze that hid warmth. Every time he touches you, you have to remind you he isn't there: that the lips that kiss you, don't taste like his, that the hands that hold you, aren't big as his, and that the face that looks at you like they'll never choose another, is one you haven't learned to love yet.

Joel's memory cuts like thorns: they sink their teeth into your heart, that bleeds with that blood-colored sadness you're all too familiar with. He's poisoned you. But-- isn't it his love also the antidote for this disease he's gave you?

You abruptly stand up, plate half eaten.

"I-I need some air"

It's cold outside, but you don't care. All you want to do is sit on the porch, and drop some tears, something you can do inside too, but the fear of your muffled cries being able to be heard stops you.

You walk towards the stairs, to sit there like you do on summer days, yet there's now a difference: the snow. So you end up slipping, falling with your butt on the floor.

You yelp, embarrased although no one can see you.

"Need help?"

That you're wrong, apparently.

You don't even need to raise your view to know who that voice belongs to: you know it like a record, spinning in circles on your head.

He offers his strong hand your way, and although the cold wind hits your face, you're back to spring on the cabin: wet feet, bright sun and beating heart.

"I can get up myself" you reject his help, pushing the hand out. You keep avoiding his gaze, so you don't see how he's reacted, yet you hope he feels bad about it.

You walk up to the front door, and it takes you a while to realize he hasn't left yet. On top of that, it seems like he's following you. Just what you needed.

"What are you doing here?" you question, but your tone sounds like you're offended.

"Your folks invited me over" Joel answers, "Says they got a special guest"

"Yeah" this time, you do look back, finding him to be much closer than you thought he'd be. Yet you stand tall, defiant even. "It's my boyfriend"

You savour the way his expression falters, before the stoic façade takes over again.

"Boyfriend?" Joel scoffs, as if you just told the funniest joke ever.

"Is that supposed to be funny?" you bite back. "What? Think a pretty girl can't get a new man?"

"Never said I'd doubt'it" he clicks his tongue. "Y'a could get any man you'd want, sugar"

Ironically, the only man you want stands before you.

"Right" you chuckle dryly, "I think it's kind of funny of you to say that"

Joel's eyes bore into yours, a clash of emotions circling in his chocolate orbs.

"Y/n-"

"Don't" you stop him. Then sigh, defeated. "Let's just go inside"

As soon as you both arrive on the dinning room, your parents both greet Joel. Then, they introduce him to their guest, just as promised.

"Joel, this is Nick, y/n's boyfriend" your father speaks. "Nick, this is Joel, a dear old friend of mine"

Nick, as the gentleman he is, offers his hand. Joel accepts, but you can see the barely desguised displease behind his eyes.

"Wow, strong grip" Nick comments before joking, "you can let go now, I'm not going anywhere"

The hidden meaning of his words, whether intentional or not, hit Joel in the face. It's obvious by the way he backtracks, letting go of Nick's hand.

As you sit again, Nick leans to your side and whispers.

"Is this the guy who lives in the house across the street?" you nod. "Thought you'd said he had better plans. But, see? I told you: no plan's more important than coming to your house"

He's always making jokes, trying to make you smile, but it's done the opposite now. The food has gone cold long ago, yet you cut through the meat with a violence so palpable, even your mom tells you to slow down.

The nerve of Joel, showing up to your house like it's nothing, talking to you like he's unaware of his spell on you, acting like Nick is some sort of competition when he pulled out of the race himself a winter ago.

"So, Nick. How did you two meet?" your mom adresses him, eager to know details.

"It was at a party, actually, through mutual friends. Not a very spectacular story, that I know. What's funny is, she asked me what hour it was. And what did I say?"

"He didn't answer my question. Instead, he said: For you, I'm available any hour" you answer.

Your parents laugh, but Joel remains quiet. You wonder what he's thinking.

"You know" looking at Nick while cutting the steamed vegetables a little too agressive, "y/n actually hates parties"

"Joel" you warn through gritted teeth.

"Really? I didn't know that!" Nick seems so genuine, Joel can't help but hate him. He looks at you, concerned "You didn't tell me"

You can't believe he would rat you out like that. The appropiate word isn't hate, and you don't know how to describe it, but parties aren't really your environment; if you can, you'd choose to be anywhere else.

He'll pay for that.

"Joel" you seethe, an ugly smile painted in your features, "did you know Nick knows how to fish?"

It's a direct jab at him. He feels stupid for letting you get to him. The inferiority complex towards some random guy he just met, years younger, is actually laughable.

"I like-" Nick wants to add on that.

"Well" Joel interrupts, looking at you. "You never taught me like ya' were s'pposed to"

"You never cared to learn" you reply, acidic.

He sips his drink, trying to hide the smirk that's formed on his lips. You can't shut up, and he loves you've stayed the same.

"That means I've got some classes to take" Joel leans back on his chair, relaxed like he's won this round. "Just tell me when"

The tension cuts like the storm that's just formed outside.

"You should stay over, Joel" your dad offers when he takes a peak at the climate, "it's too dangerous outside"

Joel seems indestructible, like not even a snow blizzard could pierce through the rough old man. But he agrees, much to your dismay.

It's probably midnight already, and all you've done is toss around the bed. Nick peacefully snores next to you, and you envy how easily he falls asleep. You've always find it hard to sleep, the nighttime plagued with too many loud thoughts that fill the silence.

You get up carefully, heading downstairs for some water. You sip with tranquility when a noise jolts you from your sit.

The wooden floor creaks, making you aware you're not alone anymore.

"Can't sleep?"

You don't answer, seeing his sturdy figure emerge from the shadows until the dim moonlight shines over his aging features. Silence settles in. Outside, the wind howls, bumping against the windows with violence, like your heart does now against your chest.

"Not much of a talker, are you?"

"There's nothing to talk" cuts your response through the thick tension, the air suddenly suffocating.

You take another sip, but the tremble of your hand doesn't go unnoticed by Miller.

"Right" Joel sits next to you, on the kitchen island. "Won't even look at me, sugar? You've got eyes" his voice drops, "use 'em"

"What are you doing, Joel?" you ask looking at him, tears threatening to spill, making your bright eyes shimmer with pain.

He gets up abruptly, like he's woken up from a trance. He's seen his own pain on your eyes, and he hates it.

"Joel?" you ask again, demanding but softly.

He can't answer. Instead, he leaves.

"Goodnight, y/n" voice raw, many emotions boiling, hidden on the inside. It hurts.

If you hadn't changed, Joel too stayed the same.

A goddamn coward.

Two days have passed since, and now it's Christmas Eve.

You kneel, putting the presents under the tree. Normally, your parents would have much more people around for the holidays, but thanks to the storm, it's just them, Nick, Joel and you.

"I'm gonna miss Mrs. Stone's cookies" you pout, "I wish she could be here"

"It's a big loss for tonight" your dad sighs. "Next time, yeah? Christmas will come again faster than you think"

You nod, still absent as he walks away.

"Hey" Joel pops up behind, seemingly from nowhere.

"Hey" you reply, voice laced with tiredness just at the sight of him. How will you manage to survive until New Year's? You have no idea, the task harder if he's staying in the same house as you are.

"Put this in there, will ya'?"

He hands you a box, neatly wrapped up. What stands out the most is the silver bow on top. Your stomach drops: it's your favorite color.

"Y-yeah" you stammer. When the present falls in your hands, you notice it looks like Joel did it himself.

"Didn't know you were capable of nice things" you whisper. There's no anger in your voice, only loss.

"I'm trying" is what he says, before leaving you alone. Until then, you realize he had been touching you, the skin where his hand was on your shoulder burning.

Dinner goes by swiftly, conversation flowing easily courtesy of Nick and your father, who both have in common the love for talking. It may be your brain messing with you, but his eyes never leave you, fixated on your every move, savoring when your lips open and take a bite; when you lick them afterwards, salt in your mouth he'd love to take off in a movement of his tongue. The ghost of your lips haunts him, cruelly playing with his yearning now that he's got you across the table. It's a few centimeters, really, but it feels like you're miles away: and it's his fault. You're no longer his, and he's reminded of it every time your boyfriend kisses what he once had.

Now it's time to open the presents, and you excitedly raise your hand to go first.

"Alright, sweetheart. You know I can't deny you anything" your father beams, "go ahead. Choose any present you'd like to open first"

Joel's eyes are on you, and you know he's desperately waiting for you to open his first. Maybe partly in courage, maybe partly in fear, but you choose Nick's first: something safe to start with.

"That's mine!" he chirps, and Joel mockingly imitates his kid-like joy under his breath.

You unwrap the present, finding a small box inside.

"Please, don't be another box" you joke, and he laughs.

"You think that low of me? Please"

You keep unwrapping and find a bag. The bag has a small tag that reads: Gotcha.

"Nick! God, you're so corny" you tease as you open the bag. Inside, there's a velvet box, and by the looks of it, you can tell it's jewelry. You gasp, pulling out a silver charm tied to a silver thin chain: it's a marlin fish. "Nick..."

"I know. Marlin isn't your favorite fish, but that's all I could find" you get up, wrapping him on a tight hug. Aware you've got an audience, he leans and whispers "I knew fishing was special to you, because of your dad and childhood. Maybe now" he takes it from your hands, carefully putting it around your neck, "it can also be our special thing"

Joel sees the scene unfold in front of him, his grip tight on the cloth of his jeans until it's white. His jaw clenches at the affection display; all he sees is red.

"What about that one?" your mom points out Joel's present. A pit of nerves forms in your stomach. "I don't remember seeing it there"

Before you can grab it, your dad moves faster, examining the box on his hands.

"It's Joel's" he makes a pause, "for y/n"

You pretend to be shocked, and you can tell Nick tenses at your side.

"You didn't tell me you were close"

"Used to" you correct quickly, despite the knot on your throat. "Not anymore"

"He still got you a present, though"

You don't get to answer because your dad leaves the box on your lap.

"Open it" it's soft but feels threathing for some reason, "I'm curious"

Joel's resting hands tremble as much as yours while you open the present. You reveal the simple white box under the wrap, opening it up.

Your voice comes out shaky as you call his name. And he can see it: the muffled laughters on the shed, the warmth of the cabin's fire, the fogged up windows of his car, the bruises on your tits and that voice, so vulnerable, he can see you on his porch, saying those three words that terrified him so much, his solution was breaking your heart.

"What is it?" your dad asks.

"It's a scarf" the fabric tickles your fingers that wander through the loose strands.

You remember it all too well.

"Oh, it's vintage!" your mom comments when she sees the worn-out aspect.

But just as your affair with Joel, you keep the secret of it's real owner.

"It's perfect" you mutter, remembering better times: ones where he'd wrap the scarf colored as the leaves on the ground around your neck, covering bruises he'd just made while you joked you'd steal it, and Joel would say he'd just let you, that it looked better on you anyway.

You've forgotten the good, so used to thinking of Joel at your worst, like a punishment to endure and sink your shipwreck even deeper. You felt lost, replaying memories that seemed stuck on a loop. Since last december, all you've known is pain; creeping up through the cracks in your fleeting happiness, one you've tried to find to no avail. One day, past the curses and cries, maybe there'll be happiness. But as for now, that day seems terribly far.

As he sees your teary gaze, Joel often wonders were it went wrong. When did hurt was all you had for him in that gaze of yours he can't bare to look that long, not before he's reliving all those seasons by your side, replaying his footsteps on the snow, grass, water and fallen leaves, trying to find the one where it all went wrong. The torture he now wears like a second skin, his agony painted words addressed to the fire of a house that feels so empty and alone.

"We should continue" your dad speaks over the silence, "there are still many presents left"

The night moves slowly, and the scarf you've chosen to wear is now suffocating around your neck. But you can't take it off. This is the closest you've been to Joel on a year; it still smells like him. As the presents run out, you excuse yourself early to bed, only to wake up again in the middle of the night. You want to pee, so you exit your room and walk to the bathroom, your bare feet against the cold wood sending shivers down your spine that only seem to augment when you walk past his door, next to the bathroom. After being done, you splash some water on your face, as if that would make some sense get to you.

"What are you doing?" you ask yourself in the mirror. Your tired reflection stares back at you, in silence.

You open the door, ready to go back to bed when a hand covers your mouth and shoves you inside.

"Don't scream" your cries go muffled against his hand, the calloused digits pressing against your soft skin, "wanna wake 'em up?"

You shake your head, so he lets your mouth free.

"Joel" you call out, but he's facing the door, his back all you see. No sound can be heard, aside from his uneven breaths.

"I'm sorry" he says, and then you hear the small click of the door's lock.

"What the hell?"

This time, he faces you, but his movements are so quick you don't register his lips on yours until it's too late. He kisses you like a starved man who hasn't had a meal in years, eating you out while your body acts up on it's own, the urgency embarrasing even.

"No" you pull back. Your mind screams in guilt at how much you want this, and that's all you can hear aside from his ragged breaths.

"No?"

"It isn't fair"

"To lover boy out there?" he teases, "I know he ain't treating you right, or ya' wouldn't look me the way ya' do"

"Don't, Joel" your tone is icy, "Nick treats me better than you ever could"

He laughs, darkly. "You know I ain't meant that" he corners you against the sink, the material cold against your bare legs; you don't sleep with nothing but an oversized t-shirt, despite the weather.

"Riddle me this, sugar: if he treats you so well, why are you so fucking wet?"

Your heart beats so fast you fear you'll die. He gets closer, his hot breathe prickling against your ear.

"It takes a man to please a woman" he tucks a loose strand behind your ear, "and I ain't leaving my baby displeased"

His fingers pull down the panties until your clit is exposed.

"Look at 'er" he traces a teasing finger over the puffy skin, coated on your slick "missed me, didn't she? Gonna treat 'er so good, she won't ever feel lonely again"

He softly kisses your neck, the trepidation and regret tying your stomach in knots.

Joel teases your needy core with his finger.

"Tell you somethin', sugar" Joel finds it hard to hide his adoration, "I missed 'er too"

He stares into your eyes while pushing two rough fingers inside your cunt. You bite your lip, holding back your moans.

"Need summ help?" he kisses you roughly, smirking when he feels your shaky breath against his lips. He pushes them in and out faster, making your walls squeeze tightly around his fingers.

"Did he ever have you comin' this fast? I'ont think so" he whispers against your neck. You whisper his name through labored breaths, making a smug smile adorn his features. "Good girl"

He proceeds to kneel down, despite the creak of his bones. You see him leave a trail of kisses down your thighs, your legs opening wider in response. His tongue gives rapid flickers against your sensitive bud, aware of the lack of time. He slurps the pulsing cunt, his head moving back and forth while he sucks, coating his moustache on your juices. Joel goes back to the quick movements, tongue knowing your spots and twisting fingers as aid, causing your back to arch.

"Fuck" you curse as you come, gripping the sink a bit too tight.

Joel then pulls away and places his fingers coated in your arousal in his mouth and licks them. He sees the obscene display in the fogged mirror, satisfied.

"Goodnight, sugar" Joel bids goodbye like it's nothing, kissing your lips that taste like you. "Still as sweet as ever"

It's New Year's Eve.

"You're leaving?" you sound so sad, Joel can't help but scoff. In the end, he'd stayed long after the storm had passed, your father arguing holidays weren't meant to be spent alone. So he stayed.

And now, Nick is leaving.

"I'm sorry" he apologizes for the millionth time, "but granny is sick. I don't know if she'll make it another year, so say the doctors. I would love to stay, really, but I have to be with her"

You understand, having lost your grandad years ago. But that doesn't mean you're okay with it: Nick leaving means a clear path for Joel, who didn't stop with him sleeping next room, and certainly won't now, despite not having interacted with you since he ate you out on the bathroom.

He pulls you into a long hug and a kiss that doesn't feel the same anymore. "Will you be okay?"

"Yeah" you nod, "I'll miss you though"

"Well, I'll be all yours when you get back"

You smile but it doesn't reach your eyes.

"See you, y/n. I love you"

Your lips purse after you utter those three words back.

Later at night, the house is filled with guests. The lively environment is restored, and you feel less confined to Joel's claws, so many faces to speak and distract yourself with, compared to Christmas and the past couple of days. You clutch the marlin charm tightly, mind busy wandering to places it shouldn't. Joel stares at you from across the room, eyes trained on you as he sips his drink calmly, like he's won; you don't know why he's keeping score if he already knows it. You wander off to the kitchen, and Joel follows you.

"You have to stop" you speak as soon as he enters, aware he would follow you.

"I ain't do shit"

You turn around, facing him. "Bullshit, Joel"

"Tell me, what'd I do?" he comes closer, and despite your erratic heart and fear, you stay still; challenging.

"You did this, Joel" his expression falters for a second, the weight of last december's crimes dawning on him. "Don't try to make me feel guilty"

"I ain't. That wasn't your fault" he sighs, breath dragging long like a cigarrette. "But this" he motions with his hands the reduced distance, "this it is"

Your breath hitches.

"We can't keep doing this, Joel. Nick doesn't deserve it"

He pins you against the counter with force, gripping the skin of your wrists until you're sure you'll get a bruise. Joel's eyes darken at the thought of your frail and soft body under his rough figure and belly, his strength and your weakness making the job of putting you under his will, so much easier.

"Don't say his name" he whispers, his breath laced with alcohol, "he ain't here anymore. Ain't nothing to stop me now, right, sugar?" Joel purrs as he steps towards you, taking your face in his hands before starting a heated kiss, making you stumble.

This was so wrong, but it felt so right, the missing pieces falling like dominoes.

He was your pain divine: you needed his hurt to bleed and feel alive again. Maybe the red of the blood and the blue of your sadness could paint your darkest grey skies with a happiness you've craved since you lost him.

"Tell me to stop" Joel whispers, tempting like a devil as he kisses down your neck, littering it with hickeys.

"Don't"

Next thing you know, you're excusing yourself upstairs and then Joel goes missing too, both inside of your bedroom.

Your dress was the first thing to go.

"Wear it for me?" you're about to answer, lips pursing, but he cuts you off, "and don't lie, sugar. Don't get too used to the bad girl schtick"

"I only wore this dress so you could take it off"

He kisses you desperately, legs wrapped around his waist while he carries you to bed, and the memories of your first flood you as he drops you down to your back, watching the way you bounce. He has you just like he wanted: moaning his name while he leaves tender kisses on the soft bare flesh.

"Joel-" you gasp. Despite the chatter downstairs and music, you try to remain low as he wraps his lips around your nipples. He then moves to your breasts, covering them with his kisses and hickeys. He hadn't touched a woman ever since you left, the feeling of the rosy innocent skin on his rough teeth making him loose all common sense, the real thing even better than what he would try to conjure when he fucked himself in the bathroom at the memory of you.

He groans when he feels your hands roaming over his back, nails digging on the scarred skin.

"Someone's eager" he teases, seeing your damp underwear. "Is this 'cause of me?" you don't answer, too busy removing the cloth, only for his strong fingers to grab you and stop you. "Don't be shy, answer baby. We got a whole new year, yeah?"

"I need you Joel" you whine, not laughing at the joke "cut the crap"

He pushes you gently back down to the bed. "So needy sugar, want me to help ya'?"

You eagerly nod, making him laugh. But there's no mock, only love behind the sound.

"Will you let this old man take care of ya', pretty baby? Just use your words, and I'll be all y'rs"

"Do it, Joel. Just do it"

You gasp as your folds begin to be prodded open by the fat head of Joel's cock. You curse, feeling him push in just the tip, the sweet burn of your walls welcoming his size making you grab his arms that stand at the sides of your body, caging you in.

His tummy pushes against your stomach as he adjusts himself, his weight sinking your body on the creaking matress.

"'S just the tip, ready for the whole thing?"

You needed him, all of him.

"Yes, Joel. I want you" You say and he pushes in slowly, feeling his cock fill up every empty space that craved for him.

You squeeze your eyes shut as his hips roll back pulling out about halfway before rocking back in. His sloppy thrusts pick up a familiar pace that makes you moan and beg for more, head falling against the sheets as his pace speds up until he's fucking you senseless.

Joel's brain goes blank at the sight of you creaming on his dick and the obscene sounds leaving your pretty mouth. Did he really give this up? He'd definitely go back in time and slap the fuck out of his past self, because there is simply nothing better than having you under him, screaming his name like that's all you can ever say.

"Does he fuck you like this, huh?" Joel angles his hips, resuming his brutal pace. Your body jolts with each snap. "Is he enough for you?"

"Yes" his stomach drops, dark eyes now hesitant, "but he isn't you"

He pushes himself back in, your eyes fluttering shut almost immediately.

"Tell me you'll leave him, y/n. Look me in the eyes and tell me who ya' really belong to"

Your eyes snap open at the possesiveness clashed with jealousy that drips from his sweat-soaked lips.

The confession falls easily, as meant to be. "Yours, Joel. Always was and will be"

He could cum just at the sight of your loving doe eyes.

Downstairs, the countdown begins, but in your room, all you can hear are his soft groans and your pathetic whimpers, and if the people would stop shouting, you could probably hear the squelch of your dripping cunt sucking in his girth with each thrust.

After a few more erratic thrusts, you feel his warm cum fill you up. Joel was always obsessed with how his cum seeped out of you and around his cock. Without thinking, his rough fingers push deep in you, making you yelp as he makes sure he isn't wasting a drop behind.

The countdown ends, and fireworks erupt outside as your head rests on the crook of his sweat covered neck.

"I love ya', sugar" those words you thought you imagined that one time, now real, so goddamn real his voice quivers and eyes get tearful with grief, "'S okay if ya' don't say it. I just wanted you to hear 'em. 'M just tired of wastin' my time"

He wraps your lips with his with tenderness you had only dreamed of. There is still a lot to talk and heal, but this time, his arms hold you like a promise. And you let yourself believe it.

Y/n's New Years' purposes: 1. Break up with Nick 2. Try to explain this seasonal mess to mom and dad 3. At last, try to be happy

[corvennite]

—⛥ ROCKSTAR ABBY'🎸

headcanons w/fem! reader

I'm writing a fic about it so stay tuned, these are just some ideas that popped up in my head.

cw: nsfw (smut), kinda enemies to ??, voyeur, fingering, female masturbation, phone sex, nude pics, possessive behavior (kinda toxic Abby lol), lesbian sex, p in v (strap on), degrading, edging, overstimulation, lots of teasing, rope bunny, gagging, senses depravation, ghosting. Let me know if I forgot something.

All right so for context, you and Abby do not get along very well since you both know each other, she always had been very stubborn and proud always thinking she's better than anyone (bc she is 🤭) and it got in her head mostly after she started her band. Your friends had always been supportive towards her since you were the only one with problems, they didn't mind much, always dealing and putting up with your attitude when she was mentioned or asked to go out with the group (which was a bit frequtently). Even if you both despised each other, more you than her, there was this oddly weird sexual tension between you two every time a word was exchanged. That's how I think she would be if somehow you managed to get closer to her.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

(sfw)

⛧ I think she would be an extreme tease, always making jokes and playing around with you;

⛧ she'd put into effort to know your tastes, what you enjoy, favorite music (so she could learn and play), shows, moves, books, etc;

⛧ even if she jokes a lot with you and sometimes she can be a lil mean, she's the only one who can do it;

⛧ she would be a bit of an asshole with the people you go out/hook up with, since she's a bit jealous but would die first than admit it;

⛧ Abby would be overprotective towards you, any guy with a wrong mind and action be sure she would beat them to death without your knowledge;

⛧ she's a good listener, even if it doesn't look like she hears all your bullshit and puts up with it;

⛧ I think she would try to teach you a thing or two around the guitar, however, she would mock you a lot during it;

⛧ would always have you backstage or nearby during the shows;

⛧ asks your opinion (indirectly) on the songs and medleys;

⛧ probably made some demo music thinking about you;

⛧ would never say it but, she gets less nervous when you're around while she's on stage, when she can see you;

⛧ would treat you like a fan despite hour 'hate' towards her, is just her way to provoke you;

⛧ gives you one of the official band merchan before even start to sell it;

⛧ doesn't let any other band member be too close to you, they're her friends but she wants you all to herself;

⛧ she would be very troubled if you got lost around the shows so she always leave her guards keeping an eye on you;

⛧ she probably let you sign one of her guitars on a playful conversation you both had, she never took it off though;

⛧ gave you a necklace with one of her favorite guitar pick.

(nsfw)

⛧ okay so, she would be always dominant at least at the beginning, never submitting for you, sometimes she would get a bit weak if you topped;

⛧ this woman is a guitarrist so she's very skilled with her fingers;

⛧ she would edge you for hours after a show, or even before, inside the dressing room or in the van while heading back;

⛧ her hands would be always over you, gripping around your waist, hips, thighs, ass and even teasing around nearby your clothed core;

⛧ her favorite thing to do is to go down on you while you're reading some lyrics you helped her out with, or, some she made to you (the dirtiest shit she wrote) without your knowledge;

⛧ Abby would definitely finger fuck you while she's recording a song, making some of your moans be the background of it;

⛧ she has a shameless polaroid of you only in her jacket and laced panties, her fingers around the sides pulling a bit down revealing your hip bone, she keeps on her wallet;

⛧ she makes you ride her thigh as she write new lyrics or talks to her manager thru the phone;

⛧ boot humping while she plays the guitar;

⛧ she has those collars around your neck with spikes and a metal circle to hold onto, she enjoys pulling it randomly;

⛧ Abby is a bit too shameless sometimes, if there's another person around the studio she doesn't mind, she touches your pussy until you're begging for her to stop and even so, she'll mock you and ask why you're whining out of no where;

⛧ whenever she's away on tour, she makes you take pics of your body and send to her, most of them with her jacket on or t-shirt;

⛧ she enjoys phone sex a lot, putting you on line making you touch yourself while she's needy for you or even turn into a video call where she can watch you play with your pussy;

⛧ when she gets jealous she gets real jealous, fuckin' you so hard with her 8 inch strap you can see stars, she doesn't care much if you're crying or if it's hurting, she'll take you bent over her desk;

⛧ Abby enjoys gagging you with your own panties, sometimes underwear she buys for you and rips it off afterwards;

⛧ makes you gag and almost pass out on her strap she proudly calls it her own cock;

⛧ despite enjoying the strap, she much more prefer to use her mouth and fingers, the tongue piercing making you see stars when it rubs against your clit;

⛧ she goes totally off fuckin you for the first time, the tension was too much and you were just so pretty with those tight clothes she couldn't resist, even if she hated you so much;

⛧ Abby wouldn't speak with you after your first time, leading into a fight you picked up being stubborn and then, you being all spread out with your eyes covered and her fingers edging you for hours;

⛧ she likes to tie you up, how pretty you look with red ropes around your wrists, thighs, ankles, chest, everywhere she can put them, she just loves it. maybe it will even be a cover of one of her new albums;

⛧ you're not the only girl in her life, a rockstar like herself has a couple share of groupies and even if she's over possessive with you, the same behavior coming from someone she could only toy with makes her kind mad;

⛧ she loves watching you touching yourself, she always makes you do it but then slaps your hand off when she sees you're ready to cum, the way you back arch and toes curl, how you look so beautiful trying to reach spots only she can get, she gets so damn turned on;

⛧ while fuckin, she will call you the most degrading names, it's not a lie, after all you are her little slut and shameless harlot, the doll she enjoys to break and the bitch who swore she hates her sooo damn much.

[lululawrence]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers! Spread the self-love 💞

HIIIII omg I love whoever started this going around so much and THANK YOU for sending this to me!!! I also got this from @haztobegood and @allwaswell16 so thank you to ALL OF YOU really! I love love love this kinda thing and hope I haven't missed all of your lists... i'll have to be sure to look for those here soon hehe

Anyway, in no particular order, here are my fav fics I've written... (I think... lol favorites are HARD):

I'm Praying (that you don't burn out or fade away) - This was my big bang for this year and man it was a JOURNEY to write. I first came up with the idea as almost a crack fic idea back when I first was listening to Satellite... you know... when it was first released. lol I just didn't have the time or energy or anything to write it but I held onto the idea for ages and had it mostly brainstormed and everything! And then the time came to write it and... I couldn't find my notes. Anywhere. No idea what happened to the fic idea or my ramblings about it so I just did what I could with recreating it from memory and I still didn't know where or how or when it would end exactly, I just knew their journey would be over when it was over, and they spoke to me. When their story was done, I knew. And I am still so fucking proud of how it turned out and @moon-sun-thyme made the most incredible and gorgeous art for it, truly. Just. Probably gonna forever be one of my favorite fics I've ever written.

What I Have With You (I don't want with anyone else) - ohhhhhhh THIS FIC OKAY. It's my aspec alpha babies fic. I wrote it as a collaboration with @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed for @1dreversebang a few years ago now and it is still so special to me. I got to really delve into the aspec identities by embodying both Louis and Harry with one of those identities (aro Harry, ace Louis) and then added some non-traditional omegaverse dynamics (alpha/alpha) AND one of my all time favorite tropes, FAKE DATING! It was also a journey to write this fic and I worked so hard to make sure I really felt like I was doing justice to our identities and trying to give good and valid and understandable representation to them, and I really think I was able to achieve that. Some of the comments have been the most thoughtful and humbling and just beautiful I've ever gotten as well, which is just the cherry on top, right? So yeah, this baby defo gets to be on this list for sure hehe

You Don't Care About Me (One More Night) - This fic is one of those instances where you write what you want to read, you know what I mean? I had been craving a fic like this one, and I'd read some similar ones but I wanted MORE. The more I thought about it, the more the idea shaped up, and before I knew it I had (I wish I was joking) something like SIX PAGES of brainstorming with the timing laid out and what would happen when to make sure it was slow burn enough but also character development at the right pace and also just... everything I wanted, you know? I've never outlined a fic to that level before and I probably never will again, but after outlining it like that, I then went and wrote this fic, which was the longest fic I'd ever written to that point, in less than a month. It just flowed from me every time I sat down at my computer. It turned out exactly as I had hoped, and it is one of the few fics of mine that I have gone back to read repeatedly. I've not actually read it all the way through repeatedly, there's usually just bits and pieces I'm craving at the moment, but that's still far more than I generally do with my own fics. So I'll take it hehe

a moon, a rainbow, and a carnation - Okay okay okay, there's a lot about this one that makes this one something I'm super proud of, even though it feels ridiculous because it was a fic I wrote for this year's @wordplayfics, but there's a lot of reasons why I really am proud of it lol For one, I'm still new to writing Oscar and Pedro, and I love them SO much but I've only written them in one fic previously (and it isn't even out yet lololol) but!!! Its only the second fic I've ever written with a decent amount of Spanish in it. The lovely @nouies has been so kind as to cheerlead me about the pairings as well as help me with the Spanish, and we have had SO much fun omg. She helped me SO MUCH with this fic, and I so appreciate it and am so happy with how it was able to turn out because of her help! I also tried a new footnotes thing with the translations that turned out to work even better than I anticipated, and that just makes it even better, right? So yeah. I'm proud of it because I did all of that AND ALL WITHIN A WEEK. YASSSS

'Cause What I Want Came True - Okay so once again this one is one that Lou indulged me on because who doesn't love Diego Luna, hmm? lol but I was struggling with Wordplay again and suddenly I came upon a few quotes and an entire soft and hazy idea presented itself that I just HAD to write. It is almost semi-stream of consciousness while also not being quite that way, and I just really REALLY love how it turned out. I've actually already gone back and reread this one and the previous one on this list since publishing, and they've only been out for a week or two at this point. That's impressive and very rare for me. So yeah, quite proud.

I am missing some others that I would probably say are favorites, but you did limit me to five. lololol and These were the five I thought of off the top of my head haha so they will do for now hehe THANK YOU SO MUCH for asking and letting me ramble about my fics for a little bit!! sorry this got so looooong....

[blushblushbear]

sorry..... me again...… you can choose to ignore this if you feel like it's too much

(not trying to guilt-trip you, please don't feel pressured

uh maybe... Nimh? Nimh is cute I like Nimh

if you don't feel like doing him, maybe Poe or Anon?

*blows the dust off this ask* oops this one's pretty old

I already did Nimh so Anon and Poe it is

Anon

Okay not to call the scott a drunk

but I'm about to call the scott a drunk

he's not too bad, but he is a little picky about what he will and will not drink

low key judges people for their choice of beers

side eyes people who order basically liquid candy as a drink (for a cocktail at least, he will rot his teeth on mountain dew don't get it twisted)

he mostly does pints but his fav mixed drink is a moscow mule

or a spiked energy beverage

speaking of drinks he always has a crazy amount of them

g-fuel, red bull, monster-- every energy drink type thing you've seen he's probably got

also drinks prime

also mountain dew

a lot of it

I joke about his teeth rotting but in all honesty he takes good care of them

that's the one gamer stereotype he does not fall in town

he's low key germophobic so his apartment and battle station are SPOTLESS

he defo has those touchland hand sanitizers cause he's a boujee bitch

speaking of boujee he's actually p well off

started trading stocks young and did crypto till it tanked

he doesn't like to talk about his crypto days (he was a hard crypto bro at it's peak)

usually his drunk rambles are about crypto

also conspiracy theories

also video games

his parents are decently well off too but he doesn't talk to them much

they don't have a bad relationship but it's definitely one of those 'you see the family only around the holidays' kind of deals

he has a lot of internet buds but I think deep down he's bad at making real connections and actually gets pretty lonely

likes watching animal videos, WOULD NOT get a pet

rarely has people over to his place, took him a while to fully mentally accept having you over

he was determined to get over it though cause he really wanted you around

would never shower with someone cause that just feels unsanitary-- the shower is for CLEANING

would maybe get a snake-- they're pretty clean

once went 3 days without sleeping

actually lost a lot of sleep to stardew valley when it first came out

his farm is AMAZING

loves to troll at video games but not in a run face first into the enemy team and ruin it for everyone kinda way

more a does a 360 no scope on you right when you think you're safe

you mad bro??? lol

sends lots of memes about liking his s/o cause he's really bad at saying how he feels

favorite director is Edgar Wright cause he's a man of taste and culture

regularly cleans and buffs his nails

has at least one to two drinks chilling in every room of the house

really wants to get an ear piercing

really vain about his looks even though he dresses like garbage

just tell him he's handsome, he's legit too proud to beg but he needs that validation

listens to a lot of underground bands and artists

also a lot of djs

owns 15 pairs of headphones

5 have animal ears

showers at least once a day unless he's in a gaming trance

once tried to write you poetry, felt like an idiot, removed all evidence of it's existence and would deny it fully if you ever found out

Poe

Probably not a surprise to anyone but he got bullied a lot in high school

Has been writing poetry since he was 10 and has notebooks full of poems and short stories from over his life

really wants to write some kind of vampire mystery series centered around a brooding poet vampire but also he's bad at writing mysteries

I've sad this before but he's in a book club with Nimh and Cashew

he keeps trying to get them to read romantic novels

Cashew was game until he realized Poe meant like Lord Byron romantic

Mary Shelley Romantic

thinks Mary Shelley losing her virginity on her mother's grave is the coolest thing ever and is high key jealous

Mary Shelley is honestly his hero

secretly got addicted to soap operas

he wants to stop so bad but he can't

he doesn't have a pet but if he did he'd be that dude you can totally tell has a pet cause he's always covered in fur

not that Poe would even care

Poe actually never much cared for birds and is still salty about becoming a magpie

owns so many Victorian/Edwardian style coats

and vests

he's just one color palette/slight aesthetic change away from just being steampunk

owns so many bits of jewelry, it mostly just floats around his living spaces and he chooses what he's wearing that day at random

all the people who headcanon Poe as trans, you're correct

constantly painting his nails and it's always chipping

his nail polish is actually pretty jank but he doesn't care so long as his nails are black

his living spaces are a mess

lots of papers, lots of random odds and ends, lots of clothes and book and forgotten mugs everywhere

does actually partake in the music aspect of the goth culture

most of his fav bands are ones you haven't heard of

he doesn't actually like horror much

at least not this modern jumpscare nonsense

he likes his horror dark, dramatic, and poetically gorey

Saw??? more like pa-shaw he can't stand those movies

the closest thing he gets to liking more mainstream horror franchises is Chucky

Tiffany Valentine is his favorite (*jennifer tilly voice* ~Jennifer Tilly~)

he can always get down with halloween, but only the first one

he can fuck with Tim Burton and Guillermo Del Toro though

crimson peak is his shit

also Jane Austen bitch?!

he loves him some Jane Austen

Emily Dickinson

Mary Shelley obvs

he low key hates to be basic but fucking

read Emily Dickinson's poetry and tell him you're not simping

he legit does simp for Shelley and Dickinson

legit loves the Kira Knightly Pride and Prejudice will all his heart

Sylvia Plath

He's trying so hard not to be basic but he loves Wednesday Addams

that line about her being allergic to colors--- he felt that

regularly listens to sounds of rain and fireplaces

ye I think I'll end it here lol XD

[lowkeyrobin]

Hi! Could I request Maxggs dating headcannons? Thank you!

yeah of course!! so glad to finally have a max request lol ; thanks for requesting, hope you enjoy!

MAXGGS ; dating shenanigans

summary ; dating stuff w max

warnings ; language

word count ; 298

masterlist

he's literally the sweetest omg

he's always memorizing your interests and feeding into any collections you have (as long as it's like not overconsumption, like figurines and books yk, stuff you'll actually use and appreciate)

he loves sharing his music taste with you and getting more songs to listen to from you

loves doing character improv challenges with you

you both have an asmr channel together and it's mostly comedy stuff, like maya winky and caroline easome

you met through Harry and Freddie (🙏🙏)

you were like "oh cool a friend of my friends" at first

but they brought you two together at an amusement park

and you did basically everything together

Harry and Freddie were vlogging so they kept poking jokes at you two when you were out of earshot LMAO

he confessed first

he was having an existential crisis one rainy afternoon and ran over to your home with flowers

you opened the door to see him soaking on your steps holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers

"you okay, max?"

"y/n I'm in love with you"

like okay buddy

he's like a 4/10 on the pda scale

like he'll hold ur hand and kiss you and stuff but that's it

he doesn't need to display your relationship cause it's kinda awkward

he's not jealous either, maybe a 3/10

a lot of people just ick him out and he doesn't wanna get you stuck in a bad situation

and some songs that fit your relationships vibe 🫶

don't delete the kisses ; wolf alice

ways to go ; alec benjamin & khalid

different kind of beautiful ; alec benjamin

overdrive ; conan gray

she calls me back ; noah kahan & kacey musgraves

detour ; maren morris

somewhere in my heart ; aztec camera

fade into you ; mazzy star

[no0t2]

@checkadii

I literally just woke up so this is the worst time to post this but ngl I have this problem where I wanna talk about it but I blank so fucking hard and fall flat on my face that I end up not talking about it anyway out of sheer embarrassment.

I'm not good at structuring my thoughts properly either because of ADHD, but here goes I guess.

I usually gotta segway into the topic if it's relevant to the conversation usually via,, friend convo, I don't know how people do deepdives of characters and whatnot I can't do that. I'm not sure why that is, this always has been a thing for me where I've got some level of understanding and my own HCs and such but they're not written or anything, so I can't express them.

To me Postal is just a silly series (minus P1 and Redux), not to be taken too seriously. So I don't really think about the "lore" that it has so much. I can ramble about Postal: Brain Damaged tho, that's probably my favourite cos of gameplay... And the designs as well as the soundtrack. It's just such a good game, I never thought shooters would ever be a genre I'd like to play, as I was so against playing them (thanks Half-Life for opening up my eyes). I can say definitely with confidence that retro styled FPS are especially something I find fun? Not on intense difficulty or anything either, I usually can't go above normal.

I've listened to "Straight Outta Suburbia" for like over an hour straight, I'm pretty sure even during while I was drawing one of my BD sketches lol

Back to Postal in general, I frankly haven't done enough "research" on it where I can properly speak about it aside from the games I've played (P1, P2, Paradise Lost and P:BD) And they're all games that are super different from each other (aside from P2 and PL, but even then). I'd also say I'm still pretty new to the series, speaking as I haven't played all of the games yet. Frankly, I was planning to just stick to P2 and that's it, glad I didn't.

Postal 1 I remember making me feel all sorts of weird things when I both played it and after I finished it. The load up intro scared the shit out of me the first time I opened the game, to where I had to pause for a minute. And it kept spooking me each time I did open it. I think that was kinda the point of the game as it's pretty dark compared to it's counterparts. I won't get into the lore of the 1st Dude cos I've seen people pluck at each other's feathers over the interpretation of him. But essentially, guy looses his shit during an episode, starts killing everyone. (Or just, "hostiles", depends how you play the game.)

P2 is so wildly different (aside from the fact that you can shoot people) that when I first opened it I was so confused how I was met with THAT Dude. I was surprised to hear him talk more beyond than just "BLEED" or "Only my weapon understands me". At the time I was also wrangling personal fears and feelings(which I don't know if I wanna get into, let alone if people would even wanna hear it lol) over playing the Postal series, so my initial expectation towards the game was:

"Okay, I know this is going to have some offensive shit in it, there's parts that won't be fun probably." And hoped for the worst, surprisingly a lot of the stuff in it I didn't find that bad, most of it is definitely fucked up, but nothing I couldn't handle, surprisingly. I played neutral-y, so I only attacked whoever attacked me, but I'd bail if I had the chance.

Paradise Lost plays similarly to Postal 2 (as it's literally the same branch of game just in the form of DLC). But I've found myself enjoying it way more than Postal 2, mostly cuz I found some of the jokes in it actually funny.

P3 I haven't played because I got rick rolled by RWS on the website so I'm not gonna play it out of spite </33 (But I've seen gameplay)

Postal: Brain Damaged is like, even more different than the previous entries as it's a retro styled shooter. But it has the charm of a Postal game and MAN is it good, I think the fact that it was released more recently is what made me enjoy its humor more. And it just!! Is so fun in general like wow, I'm still processing playing the game and I've already been thinking of replaying it because of how much I've enjoyed it. Definitely recommend trying it out.

AND WOWWW this has gotten long oops. Sorry.

I wanna note tho that, although there are aspects of Postal I enjoy, there's a lot of them that I don't, namely the offensive bits, some of them are genuinely fucked up where I can't go past them even in a comedic sense. Which I think is OK. I still enjoy other parts of it :^]

[fexarii]

what kinda music do you like??

First ask I'm answering :3c plan on doing one each 1-3 days yaya

This one's a hard one, I def wouldn't say I'm someone who listens to everything as I'm quite picky sometimes, but I do have genres I prefer! (Sorry in advance for if I get any terminology wrong)

Big big fan of a lot of new wave bands, oingo boingo in particular! With that I also really like those under the ska genre, so think of madness or again, oingo boingo's nasty habits :3c

Since I like ska, I'm also a fan of cabaret, older and newer stuff! I mostly shove all of it in my circus playlist lol but unfortunately I'm plagued with the I Own a Will Wood CD curse

There's muzak, which is mostly 'grocery store music' from the 60s-70s. One of my favorite bands is That Handsome Devil, they sample a lot of muzak stuff and combine it with other genres I like :P

Okay now a complete flip from this kind of bouncy music, on the other side of the coin I'm a BIG fan of hex-d, gabber, hardcore, anything that'll make the neighbors hate me. Team mekano is another one of my fave bands, their music is peak and I'm kinda sad that people don't know them for anything but Spiral2005 and Me Pregunto. (Looking at you . animators .)

Lastly, for the big boys there's anything my brain considers 'tropical', like certain genres of jazz, bossa nova, latin lounge, allat.

Stuff I can't place is nelward, toby fox, the scary jokes, bo en/calum bowen, the garden and their side projects; just generally artists I follow religiously but kind of don't fit into the stuff I usually listen to.

So maybe I DO listen to everything . but country is like a no go for me . idk it makes me turn inside out the moment it gets on (besides that one hamster dance song, iykyk)

[riddle-me-ri]

Hii!!! Since you already got asks about what your thoughts on the various Mad Hatters, and Scarecrows are—

Now I gotta ask what’s your thoughts on the various Riddlers? 👀

Complete the dork squad various thoughts EHEHEHEHEHEHE >:DDD

Hope you have an amazing day/night time!! ^^

-🐭💤

Hehe nope I haven't done one for the Riddlers yet, but it only makes sense to round up the Dork Squad with my ramblings let's gooooo

So I'm kinda just gonna go in random order lmao, and I'll mostly just focus on the ones I write for or else we'll be here FOR DAYS lmao but here I go!

Batman the Animated Series Riddler: Husband. 11/10, the reason I even got into Batman and the Rogues, why I'm here asdfghh. He can do no wrong, he still has done no wrong. Mockridge deserved to have sleepless paranoid nights for taking advantage of my amazing husband who would've have gone on and made amazing games had he not be mistreated....I love him a lot lol

Arkhamverse Riddler: Absolutely fucking brilliant, amazing love, love, love his character development. Definitely one of the best developments (not like...the best for him but writing wise) out of the entire series. It's so tragic, his fall from grace...and Wally's voice is perfect for him! He captures his radio/game show host voice but can also do moments of vulnerability right before picking his voice back up again, it's AH amazing.

Gotham Riddler: Ehhh...I've already griped about this show a bunch lmao, the way they've written the rogues is one of the huge issues I have with it. Ed is one of them. I almost stopped watching when I saw the split personality bs...just...AH. But I do adore S1 Edward with my entire being, I wanna be friends with him, I wanna hear him infodump and watch game shows and play video games just ugh

Reevesverse/Dano Riddler: ehh he's, he's okay. I can appreciate they had him fight for injustice (kinda like Arkham Origins, except Origins did it a wee better, just because it proved Ed's point that his knowledge and evidence was enough to make the system collapse more so than violence. Knowledge is more powerful than batman running around beating up henchmen) and I did like the cards, and I can appreciate the orphan take, but he is just kinda meh to me?

Gotham City Sirens Riddler: mmmm p.i. riddler my beloved asdfgghh love, love, love him. I know reformed riddler is a hit or a miss with some people, and I totally get it. But I adored him in this comic, it was nice seeing him doing better even for a minute. And my man's has rizz! And his relationship with the Sirens was super entertaining and endearing.

Zero Year/Capullo Riddler: Ahhh this asshole. I do sincerely enjoy him. I loved that this story showed what the Riddler is capable of (i know new 52 is garbage, but I do appreciate what Capullo/Snyder were doing in their run). I also just really, REALLY adore Capullo's style and his version of the Riddler just scratches an itch in my brain.

The War of Jokes and Riddles Riddler: asddfgh I hate this asshole. So much, it's almost a love to hate, dumb beef leprechaun looking motherfucker I swear to god. So dramatic and extra, but not even in a fun entertaining way lmao.

Young Justice Riddler: Baby boy, baby girl, can do no wrong, deserved better too. Much like BTAS, was absolutely robbed, we should've gotten more episodes. I will say his voice is absolutely jarring, but it grows on you the more you associate it with his design lmao

Telltale Riddler: AH PUZZLE GRANDPA!! lmao again, I dig how much of a threat they built him up to be. I love the different take on him being on older and established rogue. I also love his backstory or atleast the hints of it we get, it's intriguing and different.

Hush (DCAU) Riddler: asdfghj the fucking terrible twist aside...I do adore this design and voice for him. And yes, I do adore that just enough to try and write for him lmao.

Here's a few extra riddlemen I DON'T write for but in case anyone was curious:

Batman Forever Riddler: Listen, I love Jim Carrey, but the man gave me fever dreams. One of my core memories waking up at 3 am was not only to the music collection ads that'd play but also the random movies they'd play on TV. Batman Forever was one of them, and it overwhelmed the shit out of me. I woke up thinking I had some weird dream, but when I realized I wasn't totally losing it...ahhh yeah. Again, I can appreciate his inclusion, his take is absolutely iconic for sure. Just not for me.

Hush (comic) Riddler: Another excellent story about how compelling of a villain Riddler can be, I adore his design here too. If the animated version just kept what they had AHH

The Batman (2004) Riddler: I'm sorry, I adore Robert Englund voicing him, that was a neat surprise. And his backstory is so sad, but I just...not my fave design. I really can't get passed it. So sorry I know he's a favorite, but just not for me.

Batman '66 Riddler: I've only seen clips, gifs, and some episodes, but I adore this man. I don't write for him yet only because I don't know nearly enough. But I absolutely love this man and will praise him until the end of time. He's the reason we have the riddler suit. He's the OG. He's the goat.

Harley Quinn The Animated Series Riddler: As much as I'm not a fan of a bald Riddler, I fucking adore this Riddler. He's really witty and sarcastic, a man after my own heart. Gotham is overrun by rogues and this fucker opens a university? Of course, he would. I also adore him and Clock King, are you kidding me??

I...I hope that answers your question...lmao I didn't mean for it to get this long I swear to god.

[maxdurden]

tagged by @deadchannelradio! thanks!! i'll always take the opportunity to talk ad nauseam about music i'm listening to lol

shuffle your on repeat playlist (on spotify) and list the first 10 songs and then tag 10 people

1. Pigs is Pigs by Mannequin Pussy — what an incredible first pull. uhm. sorry for the screamo ass punk music but also consider that i literally JUST saw them in concert and this song goes so hard. it's not sung by their front woman (who totally deserves her flowers), but i LOVE colins' vocals. not a lyric in the song, but what he said at the concert was 'we don't need police, we need community' and fuck yes. this is such a good band if you have an opportunity to see them in concert do it holy fuck they're so good haha 😬👍

2. American Teenager by Ethel Cain — i know exactly two (2) ethel cain songs but this one goes hard what can i say. peak speeding down the highway singing at the top of your lungs music (don't speed, dive safe kids)

3. Control by Mannequin Pussy — it's gonna be a lot of mannequin pussy on here,,,,,,, lmao. this song is great tho!

4. Too Sweet by Hozier — there's probably gonna be a lot of hozier on here too lol. he released new music which always makes me ill, but also unreal unearth unheard has been sooo good for the oc's i've recently been throwing around like ragdolls in my head lol

5. I Got Heaven by Mannequin Pussy — 'and what if jesus himself ate my fucking snatch?' need i say more? this is maybe one of their best songs lol

6. Smog by Indigo De Souza — everyone go listen to all of indigo de souza's music RIGHT. NOW. thanks :)

7. Clean Slate by The Mountain Goats — this is another band that released a new album recently(ish) and i've just been a bit ill about some of the songs. the trumpets are especially fun in this one lol

8. Ptolemaea by Ethel Cain — okay so stick with me on this one. it's a great song first of all (insane that it's on the same album as american teenager lmao but go off ethel) but i've mostly been listening to it for oc purposes. this oc is kinda a vessel for working through feelings about gods and faith, and the way that both gods and the faithful need each other and shape each other. essentially,,, in a universe where gods are sustained by the faith of their followers, what happens when all but one of their followers is wiped out. in what ways do those two entities change and warp and love and destroy each other. ya know. just coping with senior year of college things tbh. anyway it's a great song :3

9. Apollo by Momma — this song has fun instrumentation, makes brain go brr. also!!! very on theme for the previously mentioned oc and thinking about gods and the weird relationships you can have with them.

10. Same as Cash by The Mountain Goats —IN YOUR CAR WITH YOUR HEAD IN YOUR HANDS AT THE FAR END OF THE WALMART PARKING LOT, TRYING NOT TO BUCKLE UNDER THE STRAIN, STRIKING A BARGAIN WITH THE IMP IN YOUR BRAIN, PREPAIRED TO TAKE ANOTHER KNOCK FOR THE SHORT GANG, BUT YOU CAN ASK ANY VETERAN RUNNING BACK, EVENTUALLY YOUR JOINTS COMPLAIN. this song is so special to me no one will ever understand it like i do (only bitches who have worked long hours at an understaffed walmart during the pandemic while couch surfing bc you just left your shitty home situation will ever understand what john is trying to say here like i do tbh. entirely possible john doesn't even understand it like i do [this is a joke. art is personal and always ripe for meaningful and individual interpretation. pls don't shoot me]). but everyone should listen to it anyway, the violins and piano are so so fun and good

hahaaaa i told you i could talk soo much about the music i like, unfortunately for y'all

@darkravenstag @thrustin-timberlake @mitebitmurderous @johaerys-writes @sabrirene @sarcasticbeanie @seethestarsalittlecloser @sleeperagentclone @notacluedo @alive-ontheinside

(no pressure ofc!!! and if you don't have spotify i say just go hog wild and talk about songs you've been enjoying no one can stop you)

[dangerous-disposition]

Hi again! Same newish fellow autistic music follower - and you had me at “music autistic with metal leanings” bc same hat! Lol of the five bands you listed - do you have like most favorite songs by each (or if you had to list a few by each)? I’ve mostly listened to all of them but I’m always looking for MORE and love peoples recommendations, esp if they talk about what makes the song tick for them - ya know? Anyway - MUSIC! Lol ok love you, bye!

Okay so because I know if I went to type out my lists of my fave songs by each, I would waffle too much so I Made More Playlistsssssssss

SLEEP TOKEN

I am not joking when I say the Sleep Token is legitimately my favourite band in my whole life. Like something about them just hits so right. I've already linked to My Sleep Token Playlist but here are my Top 5 songs, like gun to my head, make me choose type shit.

And yes, these are all songs from their newest album, but they are legitimately masterpieces. Like Ascensionism? Might just be? Literally one of the best songs ever made? Like Ever?

GHOST

Ghost is my second favourite band in my whole life. I was introduced to Ghost during a really rough time in my life in 2017 and they became my Comfort Band. Like I go to Ghost when I'm feeling my worst.

This might be the first year since I learned about Ghost that Square Hammer isn't gonna make my top 5 on my Spotify Wrapped.

BAD OMENS

I kinda cheated because this playlist is 6 songs, not 5, but that's because What It Cost and Like A Villain are a bonded pair and shouldn't be separated.

The specific versions of the songs are important too! Like Dethrone, specifically the live version, is so excellent.

MOTIONLESS IN WHITE

So full disclosure, Motionless In White I love love love a lot but I've never spent a lot of like... dedicated time listening to them like I have like Ghost, Sleep Token, and Bad Omens.

Werewolf is such a fun track and I love the way Chris Motionless belts a line near the end. Cyberhex scratches something very very very good in my brain.

DIO

I struggled with with this one a bit because like... Dio has a lot of songs and I love so many of them!!! I'm still waffling about putting Scream in my Top 5 over Fever Dreams...

ANYWAY THESE ARE MY TOP 5'S OF MY TOP 5 BANDS IN MY ROTATION RIGHT NOW!!!!

I hope this like..... actually answers your question laksdjfkljasdlkfj

[biggreenstache7]

thoughts and feelings about the halloween specials?

not sure if this is like, thoughts on spooktacular as a concept as a whole (which i guess can be summed up as "used to be my favorite thing on the channel, slowly losing interest") or on all of them as a whole, so i'm just going to uhhhhhhhhh. yeah

Spooktacular i - obviously it's not amazing because it's the first one and in that sense also falters story-wise but like. dude it's so much better than anything else on the channel in 2016. it feels like during that one week break something clicked and the channel stopped being mid (the last few rips before title theme and ending were also p solid but the stuff before that. yeeeeeaaaahhhh) it was cool that that was woody's first main appearance. also the album art had no right being that good. otherwise its mostly ok yea that sure is the first one

Spooktacular ii - uhhh feature presentation is a little silly i like it but it's also. yeahhh. what was the deal with them putting woodman like that. and otherwise it was mostly just spooktacular 1..... 2

2018 skip because nothing happened. uh i guess the rips were good. same old

Spooktacular iii - Lol. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah this is one of my favorite things on the channel in general. I could talk about it for ages. It's so awesome and i think it will quite literally never be beat, atleast in terms of spooktaculars. the writing is a little stupid but it GETS GOOFY WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S SO STUPIDLY CHARMING!!!!!!!! IT'S A WHOLE EPISODE and the amount of time put into it is so clear. i love the original song with lyrics in it so much i ripped it. IT'S EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm sure if it didn't exist i would probably be a different person. AND IT WILL NEVER BE BEAT. whatever. the rips are like the same as usual but that DAMN MURDER NOT TOO NICE! whatever. whatever. 4/10

Spooktacular iv - uhhh it was fine. i really wish they did more with the theming it felt kinda like missed potential but atleast the banner was AWESOME one of my favorite banners on the channel ever. shoutouts to this one for being like the only one that actually ends on halloween. also the moment the yankin takeover happened i pointed out this video and like asked if she was the like fallen angel or whatever mentioned in it BEFORE curse of the fallen angel was even announced. kind of badass of me. otherwise yeah kinda nothing

spooktacular v - it's fun! i liked cotfa, it didnt take itself very seriously but it was enjoyable to listen through. kinda an initial highlight to me of my main problems with siiva writing as a whole but the fact it was an audiostory worked in its favor and the dynamic between the 3 main characters was fun. halloween events need to stop lasting so long though like, the fuck do you mean this went on until november 13th?!?!?

spooktacular vi - it's fun i guess, but not much more than that. i liked the videos, they were goofy, david s pumpkins is a fun thing to have as the reocurring joke, but it was clearly not something that was given much thought and a result kinda blends in my head as "A spooktacular" i appreciate the mspaint videos existing though. but yeah it's. just "tradition" at this point

spooktacular vii - god i wish i actually cared at this point dude. it's not bad at all and i'm sure the music stuff is fun but lore has been gone for like, almost a year and now that it's back it's just. a little nothingburger? i have a lot of small complaints i could make about the story this year but i just can't really bother anymore. it's fine. this is all fine! i'm losing my capacity to care about this channel and it's all okay. takane is a nothing protagonist on her own. the writing is kinda subpar at worst and average at best. all of it feels completely like missed potential. nothing about it feels like, yknow, siivagunner. and i cant even be bothered to care anymore (i just skimmed through the last 2 videos). idk man. it's not "bad" in the slightest but a lot of aspects of it represent things and quirks about the writing on this channel ive never really cared about. i think maybe 5 years of being into something and having it never really do anything for you might be doing something to me to the point where i don't really care anymore. this just seems to be becoming a good excuse to let it go because it doesn't say much to me anymore.

sorry that ended on a bit of a downer note idk what to say now. yay! fun! spooky ooooooooooooooooooooooooo halloween boo

[ambrosialdesire]

What kind of music do ur ocs listen to? Or like what do u think they would like?

-🌷

OMG WAIT TULIP THIS IS A REALLY GOOD ASK I MIGHT MAKE PLAYLISTS LATER BUT I'LL GIVE BRIEF DESCRIPTIONS

note that i have the worst music taste of all time and never make proper themed playlists, so bare with me if there's pretty popular artists/songs in the playlists, i don't really find much underground artists like that LMAO

achelous: classical music, jazz, and country music; he's a big fan of songs that are mostly instrumentals and less lyrical. he also loves his traditional greek music, though he can't really find much original songs from WAYYYY back then, so he finds ones that are similar. he wasn't allowed to listen to music or join in the parties back in the roman empire days, so he used press his ear as closely as he can to the walls to listen to it. country music is in the mix due to him living in the south most of his older life and being surrounded by it regardless, so he has a few favorites.

sung-jae: his own music (nah i'm joking... kinda), but he's a frequent club-goer, so he's constantly listening to club/electronic music. he doesn't really listen to any other music outside of the club and since his other job is a singer, he's busy making his own music rather than personally listen to others. he sorta prefers quiet more than anything tbh but if he has to have something in the background, it would have to be on the softer side of music.

pollux: he feels more of a classic rock and a modern rock listener, even an indie music listener; he's more of a mixed bag tbh that likes most song genres. there's not much songs back in his home (esp since it's underwater lol), but he loves hanging by the bar near the beach and listening into whatever they're playing. back when he was still just living in the water, he'd pull up to boats all the time to listen to their music on the radios they had or even way back then, he'd listen to the shanties and watch as the pirates get drunk off their asses.

steinar: doesn't listen to music at all since he lives deep in the forest. he used to enjoy the parties and celebrations he attended during his viking days, but nowadays, there's not much worth in music anymore since all his friends and loved ones are all long gone. if he had to have some sort favorite genres, it would be actually opera and classical music tbh, much similar to achelous since they're both old men lol

valerius: it's literally all religious songs i'm not joking, so it's ig classical/opera/choir?? idk haha some religious songs in the church that i used to attend were kinda bangers LMAO but yeah, he doesn't really listen to outsider music since that's a "sin" in his eyes. BUT since i don't want to make a whole ass playlist of church music, he'd be a listener of metal/rock that's SPECIFICALLY religious based, cause prior to him being a priest, he used to be a metal listener.

levy (ugh): this fucker is probably the best one that i'll make unfortunately cause i knew what vibes i wanted him to have ever since i made him. he listens to rock, like the midwestern emo type of rock or grunge/emo/shoegaze yk those kind of vibes, and metal like alt/nu metal or thrash. he also listens to j-rock and j-metal bands (since he's a fucking weeb lmao), but you will rarely catch him listening to any sort of pop (except when it comes to his best friend's gf cause she's definitely a pop girly haha). he's also the type to gatekeep "underground" artists/songs and the "name 5 songs that aren't this this and this" so don't ask him for recs or tell him which song artist you like that he likes.

OKAY I'LL MAKE A SPOTIFY OR SUMN SO Y'ALL CAN LISTEN TO THE CERTAIN SONGS THAT FIT THEIR TASTES LATER IN THE MONTH OR SUMN CAUSE I GOTTA STUDY FOR FINALS LOLOLOL

[drewlightful]

What does "Art Suggestiveness Level" even mean anyway??

Glad you asked!

I'm not a NSFW artist, and if I was, I probably wouldn't be posting things like that on this account. I'm also not trying to make art for kids either. I make art that I want to see. But that range of art kinda goes all over the place, in hindsight.

Having 🔞 in my bio or username has a kind of energy to it that doesn't really fit my art either. For the most part, I'm just trying to draw characters I like, I'm not trying to make them do any lewd poses or anything (i don't think, maybe I'll be bodied for being wrong later). If things get crazy, maybe there will be a point where I HAVE to do it, just so it's clear that I pretty much draw what I want, mostly. Probably have to redesign my persona as well if it gets to that point too, honestly. As of right now, the art that I do for a general adult audiences (AKA me I guess) is just that - general. Maybe I'm drawing a character with a large chest, like Camilla or Baiken or Kiryu shirtless or something. That's just kinda how it is. I guess the TL:DR is; Listen, I'm just a guy. I like drawing lots of stuff, and sometimes that might include characters with prominent features. At the end of the day, I'm not trying to step on any toes or go after anyone or corrupt people. But I'm also not gonna put up a big filter on my art. If I mess up somewhere, just let me know. I'm learning all of this as I go - Anatomy, Social Media, heck, even the characters I'm drawing! Okay? We good? Good.

...i was gonna end this with a joke about me leaving to go draw someone's massive bodonkadonk, but i can't even think of anyone rn ...For some reason my mind went to Katy from Scarlet and Violet. Which, I mean... She's... I don't know. When I think about the Pokemon art I've done so far that feels like a HUUUUGE jump. Katy is a very nice lady though, I will say. She fits in with characters like Wicke and Melony, which admittedly, do have a certain verrrry specific type of energy about them, BUT I SHOULDN'T BE TALKING ABOUT THAT HEEEEERRRRREEEEE- ...maybe i do need that 🔞after all... ...yeah i got nothing, i've said my piece so i'm leaving before i out my interest in women even more bye LOL

[ghostiiess]

[NSB HEADCANONS] - darren being your boyfriend

*＊✿❀○❀✿＊**＊✿❀○❀✿＊**＊✿❀○❀✿＊**＊✿❀○❀✿＊**＊✿

pov: darren is your bf!

warning: none!!

type: wholesome and fluff

members: darren liang (lildarbear)

so how darren would be if he was your boyfriend?

he would probably make fun of you

like "ayo y/n, you are so short that i have to use a magnifying glass to see you!"

but don't worry, it's just one of his way to show his love and appreciation towards people he appreciates

he would be super sweet and caring towards you

he would hold your hand even if he don't have a reason to

"can't i hold my gf's hands? is it not allow?"

if he see you're sad, angry or not in the mood to laugh, he would tell his corny jokes or flirt with you, like he do it with every nsb members

"though you are sad, you are still hotter than the bottom of my laptop after 5h of gaming"

he would literally try to make you smile by telling corny things just he could see your smile

"like a broken pencil, life without happiness is pointless.. this is my quote of the day. they're better than regie's-"

listen.. darren is a really funny guy who love having fun with the people he appreciate! you see.. you're one of his people so expect A LOT of funny memories with him

going on date with him to korean bbq

being bestie with char <3

darren is so caring towards other people. we know how happy he is when he meet stars so i'm sure, darren would make sure everything is okay and good for you, if you're comfortable, if you're not sick...

backstage in his nsb's concert

HIS VOICE GOD DAMN---

did you guys already heard his singing voice??

he's amazing

i'm sure, like jp, lildarbear would sing you to sleep and make song about you (like his video's outro is one of his song he created! at least, i think so?? i can't find it anywhere so i guess it's a unreleased song he wrote lol)

darren love doing skincare!! in his morning routine video (skincare), he said "baby lotion" was helping a lot with his face and all and.. i tried? lol, it's kinda working, although i did some researches before to avoid acne or things like that, since my face composition is a bit messy, and my researches' answers said it's a good product to apply on our face! so if you guys wanna have a little skincare tips, here is it! anyways, what i'm trying to say is that he would make you discover new products or selfcare tips to help you with your face composition, new facemask… selfcare tips and ideas, baby! (and you guys would take a lot of pictures together)

lildarbear would give you his hoodies

sometimes you'll have kane's on you but because it smell like darren, you would keep it

yeah because darren stole clothes of the members haha

he would dye his hair with you while watching animes with toasty!!

if you want to and are comfortable to do it, he would love to dye his and your hair to do a matching? like i feel it's something he would do with you :)

he's super sweet :(

he would get you a plushie

"this is toasty and *name of your plushie*"

like we know, darren is a little bit sus towards his best friends..

so expect these kind of things (he'll still do it with the members, but less, since he'll mostly do it with you)

going to the gym with him!

"let's go baby!! you can do it!!"

touchy hands on you...? 😏 (if you're okay and comfortable with it, ofc!! otherwise, if you're not, he'll stop and apologize)

as we know, darren love going to omegle so expect to go on this website with him!

he'll talk with you in chinese and will make you learn it if you're interested in that kind of thing

it would be his type to come see you and say something flirty in chinese and make you try to know what it mean

"我爱你，Y/N"

if i'm correct, it mean "i love you, y/n" in chinese

going to a crystal store with him!!

discovering new food places with him

"hey baby.. wanna eat to this place? maybe we could discover new food that we could like?"

"i ain't need deserts when it's in front of me.. if you know what i mean 😏" (this is so darren, i'm sorry)

as we know, dar' is really good to insult people? like he have comebacks? so if someone insult you or make fun of you, he'll do this kind of thing to the person and smile innocently

he doesn't mind if the person is hurt. if someone hurt his friends or family or close friends, he would make them regret it

nobody hurt them.

sleeping and cuddling with toasty and darren

darren wouldn't be too jealous, but... if he see a guy who's flirting with you, he'll make sure the guy do not ever do that again :')

if you did something that made him jealous, he'll stop talking to you for like 20 minutes and he'll be right back after because he just can't stay mad at you 😭

you guys would talk for hours about everything

"remember the last time you spilled all your hot chocolate on me?"

darren and you would definitely jam music together

sleepover with him!

liang would try his best to make you know you're important to his eyes

he would bring you flowers times to times just because he wanted to give you some

"i was walking with the boys today and i saw a little stand selling flowers.. so i though, i would have just pick some for you"

h-mart shopping with him <3

face mask with him!! you guys would watch movies or tv shows while doing each other's face mask!

he'll cook for you!! darren is a real chef who love cooking and making food for his best friends // loved ones! so, he would cook for you, for sure :)

he'll woke up earlier just so he could make you breakfast before you do it

he'll make you know you're perfect just the way you are!

to conclude, darren liang would be a super fun boyfriend who would always be there for you and always cheer you up when something's not working, not okay or just because you aren't smiling

hope you guys liked it!!

if you have any requests (who's not on my masterlist) you would like to see or have any questions towards my imagines or / and my preferences, please don't hesitate to tell me in my request box :) i read everything and it would be a pleasure for me to write an imagines / headcanons for you! <3

[mrschwartz]

pls continue on slippery territory because ✨your mind✨ as you say, we don't Know him but. i'd put my money on he's self aware but can only look at it from his periphery, otherwise it is Too much. and there are bits of it in his writing, goes along with his rep for ~vagueness, which is why i'm surprised by the new record because (1/2)

(2/2) the lyrics are vague but there's something about the sound - that feeling of there being something there, a depth. a might be projecting but lmao will never forget how melancholic mirrorball made me feel. that's why i think he Knows, it's just he can only acknowledge it in this sort of way and the other guys don't have that issue

OH! also can't stop thinking about him saying he wouldn't do this on his own, lmao. goes hand in hand with the whole drawn to solitude but needing other people thing, but obviously everyone else has got Lives, alexander!!!

oh man, i'm right with you on that, the whole album is deeply sad. like, i'm doing what he told me to do! i'm listening to the music and not just the lyrics, and they're telling me that the person who composed it has been going through some shit lol. he also emphasizes that there's a sense of humor to a lot of it, which i understand i guess, but. um. idk. it's either 1) he's not very good at translating jokey tones into melodies and harmonies (which i refuse, he's too good at capturing and conveying emotion and cares too much about music to not understand tone) or 2) he's got a very warped sense of humor/is not as self-aware as i thought (like i said) lol. like one of those friends everyone has that light-heartedly shares something that sounds deeply traumatic and has you like. "but are you like. okay though" or 3) he knows it's mostly sad but is playing it off bc fuck interviews, fuck people actually knowing what he wants to mean, etc etc.

anyway. fuck him, he set out to make me feel things with the sound of his music and the bastard fucking accomplished it lol.

but to your second point. like, it feels shitty to think this of him and that's why i didn't wanna say "resentment" bc it's obviously not it, there's too much unconditional love and understanding between them, but i can't help but feel that if it was up to him, to some extent, none of them would be off raising families, they'd just hang out together all the time and just talk and have fun and play music

he's introverted and craves isolation, yes, but he's also needy and fucking needs the band's support so much, he kinda gets a little lost when he doesn't have it for a long period of time. he could write a solo album and play all of the instruments but it's not just that he values their input and it's more fun when they're around. he needs them to not have all of the spotlight on him. and when most of the spotlight is on him, which let's be honest here we're all adults lol, it's 99% of the time, he has this safe haven with them to feel like he's sharing the experience, to joke about the whole thing, to have someone to vent to, etc. this next bit is extremely shitty, i know i knowwwwwwwww, but: like, alex turner's support group you know. like (let me try to redeem myself here), they're all each other's support group, for sure, but i feel like he needs it the most