#i'm goodness? goodness i'm What? i am i am i am you are you are oh my And: goodness I'm
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dcxdpdabbles · 20 hours ago
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Tucker: We're married.
Danny: What?
Tucker: If anyone asks you and I are married. We've been married for two years. Not platonic roommates. Understand?
Danny: I'm always down for marriage fraud, but can I ask why?
Tucker: *Sigh* We had a big company meeting today with every level employee at the event center the Wayne rent out. Tammy from accounts was assigned to my table-
Danny: Your mortal enemy.
Tucker: Exactly. So she started giving me grief in the middle of our team exercise project. The other four random employees are looking at me all wide eye and I'm getting tired so I say "Is it because I'm gay Tammy?" To shut her up. But at that time, Timothy Drake Wayne was walking behind me and heard me say it. He jumped in to ask what was going on, and I hate Tammy for being so annoying, but I am not about to accuse her of discrimination for no reason. So I said "Oh it was just a joke. Like on the internet." And then when Mr.Drake-Wayne face didn't relax, I blurted out."My husband thinks my jokes are dumb too"
Danny: Tucker....that's not good
Tucker: I know! I started panicking!
Danny: You ramble when you panic.
Tucker: I do, and I did. Before I realized it, I told Mr. Drake-Wayne, this whole made up childhood friends to lover romance between you and I. It was so good he told me to invite you to the office. So we're married. Please go along with it. If I can get Mr. Drake-Wayne's support I can rise in the company so fast.
Danny: Promotions are 50% networking. Alright, sure, what's the worst that can happen?
Five months later
Steph: What's the big emergency?
Tim sobbing:. I'm in love with the husband of one of my employees.
Steph: Tim....that's not good
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vifilms · 2 days ago
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❝ FWB!ABBY HEADCANONS ❞
word count: 2k+
content warning. eighteen+, minors dni, strap!sex, scissorcity, just a lot of p*rn written out, but omgee i'm writing foir abby again? am i returning home? me saying that when all my long fics are about a certain pink-haired butch.
masterlist.
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fwb!abby who is a star-athlete, potentially a hockey player because c’mon, look at her. it starts right before the end of last season. there used to be a trio, three girls who grew up together, forever inseparable. but with a nasty fall out of abby’s break up with your best friend — you picked a side. not that anyone would believe you, but it was innocent. purely innocent.
fwb!abby who keeps you close throughout the breakup, she leans on you when she emotionally breaks, when she doesn’t want to be alone; you’re right there for her. ready to help her in whatever way you can. maybe it was naive of you to expect it to be nothing more and it’s exactly how you end up here — abby’s hand shoves down your skirt as she presses you against the locker room right after the most important game of the season. it could be how good your ass looked in the soft fabric, she couldn’t help herself. 
“mhm, how long have you been thinking about this?” gently, abby asks. “pretty girl, wanna have your fill so bad, huh?” 
all she does is tease. it’s all abby wants to do, pull those god-given moans from your lips and your whines are nothing but a symphony to her ears. but all of this is very wrong. in your bones, with every pint of blood pumping to your veins, it feels like something forbidden. even if you aren’t friends anymore, even if she hates you for siding with abby, you can’t help but love the way she strokes your puffy lips with a flick of her wrist. 
you groan as she slips a single finger inside you, whining at the welcomed intrusion. abby knows this is a slippery slope as much as you, maybe even more. it’s not lost on her what would happen if anyone were to find out, but especially your ex-best friend were to find out you loved getting fucked by her ex. 
“shut up and fuck me, yeah? you don't need to know any of that—” you shriek as she slips another inside you, effectively stretching you out as she pumps your slick, back into you as it drips over her fingers like fresh honey. 
“what was that, princess?” abby tilts her head to the side as she presses on your clit with the pad of her thumb. 
“nothing, i—” 
“hm, right. i guess the rumors are true.” 
“what rumors?” 
abby doesn’t provide any response as she fucks you into the stars, each thrust of her fingers effectively shutting you up from saying anything else. as you cry out for a release, she places deliberate kisses along your neck, her hot breath swarms goosebumps along your skin as your hips buck into her body. 
“heard a few…one from your roommate in particular.” 
oh fuck. 
the little shit knows. 
“what did you, f-fuck, hear?” abby chuckles when you can’t keep your thoughts straight. you’re close and she knows it as well when she presses her lip to your ear, it’s intentional, the cocky little shit knows just what you like. 
the first time she’s touched you and you’re already melting in her warm and needy hands. 
the sultry tone in her voice will haunt you whenever you sleep, you’ll see her in your dreams, those taunting pair of blues, the scarred cheek you love but she hates. when she says the words you fear, for some reason it sends you over the edge. 
“i heard you like moaning my name when you get yourself off, so why don’t you put on a show for me, princess?” 
fwb!abby who thinks about you, slumped against the lockers trying to catch your breath. the mantras of her name don’t leave her mind, how pathetic did it make her she couldn’t stop thinking of you. how you couldn’t escape her mind, even during practice, those stupid whimpers wouldn’t leave her. her mind can’t escape that night, the endorphins pounding her skull as she fucked you into oblivion. the secret you held close to your heart raw and exposed as you released over her pumping fingers — it all felt a little too real. a little too perfect. 
fwb!abby who tries to play it cool whenever you’re around. abby knows it’s her best shot of forgetting what happened, slipping back into normalcy. but what she doesn’t expect? how jealous she feels when she sees you chatting up one of her teammates. she suspects you might be doing the same, trying to find a distraction, anything and anyone to stop your mind from thinking of it. it’s the secret she holds close to her as she deciphers on why her blood couldn’t seem to stop boiling. she hadn’t been this possessed, the need for her sweet salvations to be found on each roll of her tongue. it’s agony as she watches you leave with them, but she just sips on her beer, calling it night at the same time as you. but her sheets will be ice while yours will be kept especially warm. 
the first thought entering your mind, this isn’t as good. she doesn’t touch you the way abby did, fuck, this girl’s mouth is eager to devour you, every drop not being wasted but you just pretend it’s abby. even if you feel slimy, a bit dirty, but it gets you where you need to be. 
when you ride the plastic cock, invisioning abby holding your hips, guiding them as you slide down and fuck yourself, chasing the high she gave you just a few weeks ago but you see golden-waves flowing on your navy-blue cotton sheets. your mind drifts to how the blue in the sheets would bring out abby’s eyes, how she might look up at you while you fuck her like it’s your right to. 
as if she belongs to you. 
the more you think of her, the easier it becomes to find your release, it comes to you quickly as you moan; you chase the high. but it still doesn’t feel as good as last time — not when you don’t have her whispering in your ear. telling you just how much you need it, whispering your dirty secrets like an oath. a string for her to pull, only one tug needed until you come apart for her like it’s the only purpose you have in life; you’re just here to please abby anderson. 
fwb!abby who doesn’t see you for a week straight. you’re avoiding her with all of you might. even going as far as missing one of her games which you never do. it pisses her off to no end and the final straw is her teammate talking about how much the two of you can’t stop fucking. yeah, god, she’s so perfect. sweetest i've ever tasted. it’s said in passing, quietly to one of her friends, not meant for abby. slamming the locker form, she sets her sights on you. she’s ending whatever the fuck this is. 
the knock on your door is harsh, spinning you out of your thoughts as you open the door to find her completely outraged. abby might as well be a bull with her nostrils flared, puffing out smoke as she only sees through a tunnel vision of red. you know why she’s upset, and you’re sure she’s heard about just who you have been spending your time with, making this all the more messy. 
“ashton? fucking ashton?” abby burls straight past the entrance, shoulder checking you in the process. 
“why does it matter if it’s her? or anyone? why do you care all of a sudden?” you go back to cleaning, as if you don’t have a very enraged woman standing in front of you. you try not to think of her sweet vanilla scent mixed with mahogany. the way she filled you up perfectly. 
“i don’t care.” abby nods as she showcases a bitter smirk. 
fwb!abby who has you pinned against the wall with her strong frame, pelvis pressed against hers, still sweaty from practice as she has you pinned against the wall. you’re not sure who kissed first, who grabbed the other closer, but she has you turned around, fingers plunging knuckle deep as she reminds you of that night. writhing against her as she whispers in her ear, “next time you crawl in her bed, remember this, when she’s failing to make you come apart. remember how easy it is for me.” 
fwb!abby who brings you back to her apartment. her lips pull the air from your lungs, suffocating you but lighting you ablaze. like a lioness when she paws at you, nearly ripping your closes to shreds with the claws she has buried in you so deep. abby is cocky about it as you pull off her clothes just the same, desperate, needy — with a angelic glint in your eyes she’ll have nightmares about. 
“princess, it will stay between us. alright?” abby groans as her baby blue dildo slips inside you. watching her defined abdomen clenched as she pushes, fully tilted inside you. “promise.”  
another secret to holster, keeping close enough to keep but not close enough where it would seep into your skin, surely to infect whatever she so craved to do. you expect everything to be a little rough, a means to an end — just a way for the both of you to fuck this out of your system — but abby’s delicate. doing her best not to completely lose it. 
you feel full as she hesitates to move, watching your face contort in divine pleasure, the way you try to move your hips, but her hands keep you in place for a moment longer. 
“baby, please, shit i need your—” a groan leaves your mouth as abby moves, thrusting her cock inside you. 
“yeah, you need it, princess?” 
it feels condescending, the stupid pet name is being thrown at you as a way to incite raw need, to instill such a primal emotion, and you feel it stirring the pits of your stomach. with each heartbeat, your chest flutters. 
your mind shuts off, all the worries that infect your mind like a disease, every reason that tells you this is a god-awful, terrifyingly horrible idea. there’s too many webs, you’re bound to be trapped up in her, with no way to come out of it. it’s the only truth settled within your soul but then she’s fucking you. it’s hard but slow. 
she’s taking her time, building you up so she has you right towards the edge. all you do is wrap your legs around her, bringing her close to you, her temple kissing yours as she loses herself inside you. it’s all more than you expected, quiet whimpers echo in her bedroom, her sanctuary she’s coaxed you into. 
“you look so hot taking my cock, pretty girl. fuck, it’s like it was made just for you but i have an appetite for something else.” 
you whimper as abby removes herself and the harness secured on her hips, until you feel her blonde bush and aching lips slide over yours. the woman above you can’t help but chuckle as your eyes roll back into your skull, a leg thrown over her toned shoulder as she slides perfectly against you. 
“you—” you gasp as she pushes her hips faster, you have no choice but to buck against her. “a-abs, oh shit, oh my fucking god.” 
quickly, you’re losing it as abby is being loud. “right in front of me all this time, fuck!” 
almost comes across as animalistic as she grunts, fucking your faster than anyone ever has, you’re so close when she grips your chin, demanding you to open. sliding her fingers inside of your mouth as you suck off your cum. effectively shutting you up in the process. 
“yeah, it’s too much, huh? are you sure you can take it, princess?” you nod your head as one thrust sends you over the end, your body twitching as you come. she soothes you through it, whispering your name over and over in your ear and it goes straight to your cunt. it’s too much but she eventually stops but you still feel her against you. everything becomes sticky and warm. 
the blunt of her nails begin to scrape lightly over the skin of your abdomen, enjoying how much your body twitches. you’re sensitive and abby chuckles.
“whenever you wanna fuck princess, just give me a call.” and after, she whispers so quietly you almost miss it, “i’ll gladly make this pussy mine any day of the week.”
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harrysfolklore · 3 days ago
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yes do the lewis fic pleaseee
short and sweet bc i promised anon i would do ittt i hope you like it
You're fidgeting with your rings - his rings, actually, that you stole months ago - when Lewis notices your knee bouncing for the hundredth time. The arena feels too warm despite your backless Valentino.
"You're going to drill a hole through the floor, love," he murmurs, leaning close enough that his lips brush your ear. His hand finds yours, warm and steady.
"Easy for you to be calm," you whisper back. "You've won eight world championships."
"Seven," he corrects automatically, making you roll your eyes.
"The eighth was robbed and we all know it." It's an old argument, one that makes him smile every time. "Besides, this is different. This is-"
"This is you about to win Song of the Year," he finishes, so confident it makes your heart ache.
You turn to face him properly, taking in how unfairly good he looks in his suit. "How are you so sure?"
"Because," he says, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, "I was there when you wrote it at 3 AM on my kitchen floor. When you called me crying because the bridge wasn't right."
"You're biased," you argue, but you're smiling now. "You have to say that. It's in the boyfriend contract."
"Ah yes, the famous 'support your controversially young girlfriend' clause," he teases, and you can't help but laugh. It's become a running joke between you, how the media can't seem to get over your age gap.
"Speaking of which, did you see that headline yesterday? 'Grammy Nominee Spotted Looking Cozy with Elder Statesman of F1'?"
Lewis groans. "Elder statesman? I'm forty, not dead."
"Ancient," you declare solemnly. "Practically fossilized."
He's about to retort when Taylor Swift takes the stage, and suddenly you can't breathe again. Lewis must feel you tense because his hand tightens around yours.
"Hey," he says softly. "Whatever happens, you've already won. Seven nominations in your first year? That's unheard of."
"I just want-" you start, but then Taylor's speaking.
"Music tells our stories," she's saying. "And sometimes, a song comes along that captures something so real, so raw, that it changes how we see love itself..."
You feel Lewis shift beside you, and when you glance over, he's already watching you with that look - the one he gave you the first time you played him this song, the one that makes you feel invincible.
"And the Grammy goes to..." Taylor's smiling now, like she knows something. "'Birds of a feather!"
The world stops. Starts. Explodes.
Lewis is up first, pulling you into his arms before you can even process what's happening. "That's my girl," he whispers fiercely against your hair. "I told you, didn't I? I told you."
You're crying already, you can feel it, but you don't care. His hands cup your face and he's beaming at you with more pride than you've ever seen - more than after any pole position or race win.
"Go get your Grammy, superstar," he says, and then he's gently pushing you toward the aisle.
The walk to the stage feels infinite. You're aware of everything - the weight of your dress, the cameras following you, the deafening applause. But mostly, you're aware of Lewis in the front row, standing and clapping like he's watching the love of his life win Song of the Year at the Grammys (which, you suppose, he is).
"Oh god," you start, gripping the golden gramophone like a lifeline. "I wrote this song about falling in love. About meeting someone who changes everything when you least expect it."
You find his eyes in the crowd, and suddenly it's just the two of you.
"I should probably thank Formula 1 for canceling that race in Singapore, or I never would've been in that hotel bar, jetlagged and grumpy, when this absolutely ridiculous man in the most expensive hoodie I'd ever seen asked if he could buy me a drink."
The audience laughs, and Lewis is shaking his head, grinning that grin that still makes your knees weak.
"To Lewis - thank you for being the most unexpected plot twist of my life. For showing me that timing is everything, even when Twitter thinks our timing is inappropriate." More laughter. "For listening to every demo at 3 AM, for believing in me when I was just another girl with a piano and a dream..."
You're fully crying now, but so is he, so it's okay.
"For never once making me feel too young or too inexperienced, for teaching me that love doesn't follow anyone's timeline but its own. And yes, I know this speech is probably going viral for all the wrong reasons, but you taught me that sometimes the best stories are the ones nobody sees coming. I love you."
The camera cuts to Lewis, who's not even trying to hide his tears. But neither of you seem to care at the moment.
Later, after winning four out of your seven nominations, you're in the back of the car heading home. Your head's on his shoulder, Grammy in your lap, when he speaks.
"You know what this means, right?"
"Hmm?"
"Now I have to win the championship this year. Can't have you showing me up with all these trophies."
You laugh, snuggling closer. "Better get practicing then, old man."
"Menace," he mutters fondly, pressing a kiss to your hair.
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diagonal-queen · 16 hours ago
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im basically back so i'm doing this even though nobody will read it lol (i dont even blame you because look at all that TEXT)
Do you have a good relationship with your parents? not really i guess? it's complicated so imma just say nah
Who did you last say “I love you” to? i think to my dog lol
Do you regret anything? i regret writing rpf as a kid 💀 i also regret smacking my little brother's butt to discipline him as a kid. it goes against my stance of 'don't hit children' that i have today and i do feel real bad about it, i just emulated the parenting techniques i knew at that age.
Are you insecure? HELLA lmao
What is your relationship status? single as FUCK boiiiiiiiiiii
How do you want to die? peacefully and in my sleep with my puppies laying next to me
What did you last eat? right now i'm eating crackers
Played any sports? used to be a bit of a discus prodigy as a kid, and was also not a half-bad sprinter. i danced from 2-12 as well and also enjoyed chess. nowadays i don't play any sports
Do you bite your nails? i do on occasion but i try not to
When was your last physical fight? i've never been in one. maybe with my sister when we were kids? idk
Do you like someone? kind of? if that makes sense
Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? no. but i've tried for sure lol
Do you hate anyone at the moment? yeah, but by now it's a dormant hate that just lingers
Do you miss someone? is it possible to miss someone you haven't met irl before?
Have any pets? two doggos!
How exactly are you feeling at the moment? neutral, but like a 6/10
Ever made out in the bathroom? i mean a lot of people pee in the woods right so technically yeah
Are you scared of spiders? i'm desensitised mostly, like if i see one i won't kill it (unless i KNOW it's dangerous). if the spider is on me it's a different story
Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? i literally always think about this lol. there's so much i wish i could change but at the same time, even though i don't like myself, i don't think i deserve to be put through all that again
Where was the last place you snogged someone? the gay bar
What are your plans for this weekend? moving lol
Do you want to have kids? How many? i would usually say 'i'm 20 i'm too young to consider it yet' but one of my classmates from highschool has a baby already so i don't know man T-T
Do you have piercings? How many? just on my ears
What is/are/were your best subject(s)? english and legal studies in highschool, and psychology now.
Do you miss anyone from your past? i reminisce but don't miss
What are you craving right now? a warm brownie would be great
Have you ever broken someone’s heart? HE said i did, i don't believe him, but even if i did he deserved it (trust me on this one. he deserved it.)
Have you ever been cheated on? not that i'm aware of, but i wouldn't be surprised if i was
Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? not that i'm aware of. i hope not??
What’s irritating you right now? the heat. i'm not having a hot girl summer at all T-T
Does somebody love you? i hope so
What is your favourite color? i like baby and dusty pink. and lilac
Do you have trust issues? i'm pretty sure
Who/what was your last dream about? last night i dreamt that i was in a relationship with pt4 jotaro. he was quiet, gentle and loving. this is weird because i am female
Who was the last person you cried in front of? i think my mother? if not then probably my bestie
Do you give out second chances too easily? yes, sadly
Is it easier to forgive or forget? it's hard for me to forgive someone if they don't at least apologise. so i guess forget
Is this year the best year of your life? it's february, but like hopefully yeah!
How old were you when you had your first kiss? sweet 16
Have you ever walked outside completely naked? no T-T
Favourite food? fried chicken, one specific chocolate cake, yellow nectarines and sushi
Do you believe everything happens for a reason? not in the way others do
What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? watched scott cramer
Is cheating ever okay? usually i'd say no. but there are rare instances where i reckon it's not necessarily a bad thing (as bad as that might sound)
Are you mean? i don't think so
How many people have you fist fought? none?? T-T
Do you believe in true love? yes
Favourite weather? dark and overcast (not raining), cool but not cold
Do you like the snow? i've only been in snow once and it was a good time. but i got ice in my eye during a snowball fight and it scarred me a little bit
Do you wanna get married? for sure i do! i know most people think of marriage culture as outdated and heteronormative (which i fully understand) but i do want to be a bride one day. i'd love that
Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? hm...when a girl does it i don't mind but when a boy does it it feels a little icky IM SORRY </3
What makes you happy? clowns, stuffed toys, colourful soap, poofy sleeves, tbh i'm really a six year old at heart and a lot of things make me happy
Would you change your name? okay so i wouldn't legally change my first name (i don't often like when people besides my family use it, but it's rare and pretty so i wanna keep it), but i would like to make Dia my legal alias that would be so sick. i would for sure change my last name though that shit boring asf
Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? no. i'd kiss her again she was nice
Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? i'd marry and adopt kittens with you @jesterph0bic
Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? refer to question 55
Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? my brother (hbd btw)
Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? my sister
Do you believe in soulmates? yes but not in the traditional way
Is there anyone you would die for? yes
70 horrible questions ... Fuck it
01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?
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dcxdpdabbles · 1 day ago
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DC x DP Fanfic: Family bonding.
The Waynes, for all of their proclamation of being some of the best detectives in the world, missed the signs that one of their own was dating. Usually, that wouldn't have been so shocking, except that the person who dating made a point to tell the group he was dating.
He also somehow always stayed friends with his exes. Which was a superpower of its own, if they are honest, because not a single one of them was bitter about the relationship ending with Dick.
Another thing unusual about Dick having a lover was that he never brought them around or was seen in public with them. If anything, it felt like Dick was trying to keep the relationship a secret.
Which went against everything he cared about when dating someone.
That's why Bruce fully believed that the secret was being enforced by his partner. So it was up to the Waynes to find out who this mysterious lover was and evaluate if they were good enough for Dick.
So on a Friday night, when Dick was allegedly tutoring underprivileged kids but was actually meeting up with his lover, the Waynes piled into a shabby-looking minivan and followed.
It was cramped. It was dented, and it had tinted windows. Most importantly, the minivan belonged to John Constantine, who hadn't used it in over twenty years after learning to portal from one place to another.
Dick would never realize it was them.
"I think this is a terrible idea," Jason grunts from the back seat. He crosses his arms, refusing to pick up the binoculars Tim had passed around earlier. "Dick is a fully grown man. He knows how to properly talk to his partner about what he wants in a relationship."
"Shut up, virgin," Damian hisses from the passenger seat. He won the right to sit there after breaking Steph's skin with his teeth. Bruce had allowed them to brawl for a few minutes until Damian emerged victorious. He also let her use his phone to schedule a rabies shot, keeping eye contact with Damian in the rearview mirror. "Just because you never had a girlfriend-"
"-or a boyfriend. You fail to seducing both." Cass cut in from around her binoculars. She fist-bumped Tim as Jason threw her an offended look.
"Thank you, Cassandra. Ultimately, you have no experience and thus can not comment on what to do in relationships." Damian concluded.
"Neither do you!"
"Yes, but I am a child." Damian waves his hand in Jason's general direction. "It's expected of me to not have any romantic experience. You, on the other hand, are a loser."
"Unless you are Asexual or Aromantic," Bruce pipes in, leaning a little against the steering wheel, attempting to get a better view of the apartment building that Dick had walked into. He wasn't going up to any of the actual units; he remained in the lobby. "Then you are the are not a loser. But rather the closest thing to godhood."
"B, we know gods."
"That's why I said closest."
Thankfully, the lobby had huge windows. Dick was speaking to the receptionist, leaning on the counter with a little smile, and the man was grinning back.
However, Dick hasn't touched his hair even once. This was not the secret lover. This was a fool falling for Dick's charms, probably someone involved with a crime.
Ugh, so dull.
Jason crossed his arms stubbornly "I can get a date. I'm just busy."
"Doing what? Reading romance novels?" Steph laughs. Jason opens his mouth to yell at her, but the receptionist hands Dick a golden key that the eldest Wayne pockets. He strides out of the apartment complex, hands in his pocket and whistling joyfully.
The Wayns put away their binoculars, and Bruce carefully peels out of their parking spot. They keep a nice distance away from Dick as he scrolls around the stores, stopping every once in a while to admire a display before he sits on a bench, hand still inside the pocket with the key.
A person wearing a trench coat and thick sunglasses approaches the bench, sitting on the far end of it and not looking in Dick's direction. The van collectively gasps.
Despite the disguise, they can tell just who it is.
"Tatior," Jason hisses between clenched teeth as Duke slides a sealed brown package across the bench towards Dick. In return, the eldest places the key on the bench, back top, and strives away from the bench. Duke waits a few minutes before he stands, walking in the opposite direction of Dick, hand sliding out to grab the key nearly undetectable.
"Why does Duke need an apartment key? And one that was snuck to him," Tim asks, watching the two siblings walk away from each other as though they were strangers. "What's he up to?"
" We only have time for one family mystery today," Bruce answers, turning the wheel to the left and continuing to follow Dick. "I have dinner plans with Selina later."
Duke pulls out a red wig and slides off his coat. Underneath is a punk rock outfit, complete with spikes, the coat he throws into the trash and clicks his boots. Four-inch heels pop out from his shoes, and Duke struts out of sight.
Tim leans against the windows, face and palms against the glass, eyes wide. "Wait. Wait. I have so many questions. B, turn around!"
"Dinner plans, Tim!"
"But B!"
Damian points. "Look! Richard is twirling his hair! The harlot draws near."
Steph laughs, patting Tim's back, who is straining hard to open the door. Thankfully, Bruce was quick enough to press the child lock. "I love the way you talk, Dames. It's like a period piece villain escaped the TV."
"Thank you, Brown. I enjoy your existence as well." Damian smiles, pressing the binoculars against his face. "Oh."
Bruce's grip on the wheel tightens. He had chosen to stay really far behind Dick once the man had walked into a narrow street, making it harder to blend into the traffic. "What is Damian?"
"You will not like it, Father," Damian says lowly. Behind him, Steph and Tim also reach for their spying gear. Jason and Cass were grimacing from the back seat, one taking pictures and the other working on getting the listening device's antenna out the crack of the window to aim at Dick.
Bruce's knuckles turn white as he steeled his resolve. "Go on. I can take it. What do you see?"
"It's Danny Fenton." Tim, Steph, and Damian all say at the same time. "The person he is dating in secret is Danny Fenton."
Bruce felt his heart stop. "The man who makes bread in the shape of hero logos?"
"Yeah. Otherwise known as "The Happy Baker," Steph says gravely. "The only Gothamite who is unreasonably happy without drugs or Joker venom."
"I once saw him making up songs while setting out a display of animal-shaped bread. He rhymed Gotham with awesome." Tim practically spits. "I should have known. All those animals were circus-themed. The elephants were incredibly tasty."
"You bought some!?"
"Excuse me for being hungry B!"
Damian slaps Bruce's arm aggressively. "Father! Father! Richard is getting on one knee."
"WHAT?!"
Jason pressed one hand over his headphones and attempted to listen closer before his eyes widened. "Wait! It's not a real marriage. Dick's investigating a possible trafficking ring, who been using Gotham baking supplies as a cover. He wants Danny to help him infiltrate the front by pretending to be baking husbands!"
"He just asked him to get married," Jason reported, much to the horror of the general van. Cass' camera starts clicking aggressively, either to capture the moment or have something to hang over Dick's head and force him to call off his marriage.
It's hard to tell with her perfectly impassive expression.
"Oh, thank the gods." Bruce breathes, only to have Steph ruin the moment.
"They're frenching right now."
"Oh, come on!"
"This is fun," Cass says over Bruce, swearing under his breath. "We should spy on each other as a group more often."
"Can we find out what Duke is up to next? The heels will haunt me until I know everything." Tim pipes up.
Damian, Tim, and Steph do not lower their binoculars even though they are close enough that they become a nuisance rather than helpful. He hasn't seen them so engaged in a family outing in a long time. "Yeah, we can spy on Duke next."
There is a moment of silence as Bruce considers the request before he merges lanes. In doing so, they drive by the kissing couple, too caught up in each other to notice the people staring at them through spying gear.
"You're the best adoptive dad ever!" Tim cheers as the rest of the kids let out whoops. Fenton's ears twitch, breaking the kiss with Dick to look right at them over their eldest shoulder.
Bruce slams a foot on the pedal the second Cass starts yelling, "Go go go! He saw us!". They peel away, screaming while Dick throws them a finger, and Fenton laughs silently.
The happy little freak.
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celestialgalaxyglow · 3 days ago
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Batfam and Danny, Part 13
Bruce (walking into Jason and Danny's apartment): Hey Jason, sorry to come by unannounced but I forgot to give you-
Bruce froze as he saw Jason and Danny (currently in a less than human form) arguing in the living room.
Jason: My word is final!
Danny: I̵̼͂ ̷̦͓͊͂͐͘a̸̧̛̖̱͆̏͝m̴̘̈́ͅ ̴̺̘̈͐ͅȯ̷͇͓̯͓̕ń̶̫̺̔͘ë̷́̆̅̚ͅ ̵̀͑͘ͅw̶̭͒͊i̷͍͙̭̒̃̈͗t̴̙́͌̅̀h̵̖̔͆̃ ̴̳̲̙͆t̵̨̨̩͓̉h̴͚̾̓͠e̷͇͍͑͊̊͠ ̸̭̉͆n̵̟̍̄̅̕ḭ̸̭͇͒̈́g̵͋͒̐ͅh̵̳̔̎́̐t̸͓̝̤̅ ̸̭̰̺̹̆̀̓a̵͕͓̫̐͐n̵̒̏ͅd̸͇͆ ̴̡̞͕̙͘ţ̶̜̫͓̏͑h̷̦̦̮͛̽̕ę̸̹͠ ̷͕͓̒͆e̶̘͔̥̓̀̌͌n̷̤̝͋͛̓̋d̷͇̽l̶̐̎̂̂ͅe̷̩̖͂̌͗͝ͅs̵̛̥̣̾̄s̶̢̮̜̘̉̒ ̸̛̛̭̺͉́̉v̵̖͖̺͓̾ö̵̺͕̱́͗̐͝i̸̖͍̊d̷͈͔͂,̸̲͍͊͛̈́̓ ̷͈̝̲̭͐̀̉͌Ḯ̷̙̣̚̚ ̵̮͎̇̈́́͜d̵͉͉̰͝ơ̵̹̤̈́͂ ̴̨̏n̵͈̜̪̺̐o̶̩̒̕t̶̻͍͇̄ ̷̪̌́̍̕r̶͖̫͂ͅͅe̷̹͈͉̅q̵̬̿u̴̼̲͔̟̾͛͂i̶͍͕͚̝̇͐̄r̵̦͝ê̴̢̨̼̟̏͋͝ ̴̞̃͐ṱ̵͔̪̰̑h̸̲̪͎͊͂̓e̸̻̗̺̾͝ ̷̢̞͒̇a̵̡̦̞̿̈̓r̴͓̄̈́̿͝c̸͖̿̆̀ḣ̸̰a̶̹̾í̶̲̗͋c̸͚̐̑ ̶̤̯̹̈̈ͅp̵̧̅̂̑͒ͅr̷̡̞͔̂̽͠a̷̢̮͆̉ċ̶̨̠̚͝t̷̜̺̖̒̓͊i̴̹̾c̶̯̫̥̩͝͠e̴͚͔͓͌͊́͑ ̸̠̜̳̙̆͋͘ó̷̼̹f̸̛͖͒͂͌ͅͅ ̷͍͗̎̀s̵͖͕̀l̶̪͔͉̏̈́́̓ę̵̛̦̳͔͂͊̚e̶͉̼̒p̸̟͠.̵̦̓̇
Jason: I don't care, you have school tomorrow and you WILL sleep.
Danny: Ḯ̵̤̩ ̷̼͌͌̚a̸̯̿m̷͔͙̲̏̉̂ ̴̛͈͑́ẙ̵̻̓̉͜ṏ̶̱̘͎́u̵̧͎̼̓̋̄r̸̖͍̈́ͅ ̷̻̹̈́͜k̴̜̹̦̉i̸̩͝ṋ̸̨͔̈́͆̈́g̸̖̈́͛̓,̶͈͍̤̋ ̴̢̍͆ỵ̸̓͋o̴̺̾̋͘u̴̘͂͊͝ ̵̡̲͕͂c̵̺͖͑̊a̴̛͍̺̥n̷͎͋̾́n̵̗̂̆̈́o��̞̫̑t̷̞̺̺́ ̷͍̞̓ǧ̵̜̜̜̐͠i̶͓͖̫͒̕v̶͎̰̈̋e̶̜̿̐ ̶̪͕͚͊̕m̵͖̖̓͆͐ě̸͆̀͜ ̷̙̖͖̓́̕o̴̮̥̽r̷̡̫̤̉̌̂d̷͇̰͒͆ë̸͈̫̙́̕r̶̟̖̉́͜s̴̞͐͛!̸̭͐͊̋
Jason: And I am your father, and I'm telling you to go to sleep.
Bruce cleared his throat. Jason and Danny turned to look at him.
Danny (moving towards Bruce slowly turning back into a human form): G̵̤̜̥̐̄͆r̸͎̪̀̑a̶̰̮̾n̴̟̯̘̅̿̉d̷̡̲̼̐p̸͖̭̰̂ạ̵͂͒,̸̰̱̀̓ ̵̡̰̻͑̆ḍ̸̩́ä̷͔͖́̌d̴̳̪͒͆ į̷̐s̶͉͠ ̶̭̒b̷̪̎ë̶͙́ì̴͍n̶͘ͅg̴̨̔ m̶e̶a̵n̵ ̴t̴o̷ me.
Bruce looked at Danny, then at Jason, then back at Danny.
Bruce: Sorry kid, your dad's right you need sleep.
Danny looked up at his grandfather, took a deep breath and produced an inhuman screech before marching to his bedroom and slamming the door.
Bruce (looking at Jason): Is that normal?
Jason: He refuses to sleep once in a while. He doesn't actually need to sleep but it's still good for his mental health, so I make him.
Bruce: I see.
Jason: You need something?
Bruce: No, I meant to give you and Danny these. He hands Jason two boxes.
Jason: Are these the new generation of phones Wayne Enterprises made?
Bruce: Yup, two moths before they're set to be realized to the public.
Jason (smiled): Thank you Bruce.
Bruce: Sure thing Jason.
Danny: Um, dad.
Jason and Bruce to look at Danny who was sheepishly sticking his head out of his door.
Danny: Can you tuck me in?
Jason: Sure thing kid.
Jason followed Danny to his bed, tucked him in, and gave him a kiss on the head.
Danny: Goodnight dad, I love you.
Jason (leaving Danny's room): Love you too son.
Jason walked back towards Bruce who was smiling.
Jason: Shut up, you used to tuck us in as well.
Bruce: I know. Just happy to see you two get along so well.
Jason: I try my best, but sometimes I don't know if it's enough.
Bruce: That's what all parents feel like Jason. Personally I think you're doing a great job.
Jason: Thanks dad.
Bruce (smiling): Anything for you. They looked at each other for a few seconds. I should get going, I have some paperwork to go through.
Jason (walked up to Bruce and hugged him): I love you dad.
Bruce (hugging him back): Love you too son.
(Master Post)
Danny's distorted lines:
1 - I am one with the night and the endless void, I do not require the archaic practice of sleep.
2 - I am your king, you cannot give me orders!
3 - Grandpa, dad is being mean to me.
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amorre1989 · 1 day ago
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metal box
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word count: 3,6k
about?: your sweet boyfriend forgot his lunch, and you're a sweetheart so you bring it to him.
who?: Spencer Reid; reader; Penelope Garcia; Derek Morgan; David Rossi; Aaron Hotchner; Jennifer Jareau.
maybe next time I'll write about dinner night with the team ;)
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The bed felt empty. The space that was some hours ago filled with your boyfriend's warmth was now filled with wrinkled sheets. You sighted, you missed him, even after sharing the night together. The clock hit 9 am and you got up, you went directly to the kitchen just to see: the little box that holds Spence's usual snacks and a little sandwich accompanied with a note from you, resting on the counter of the kitchen, Spence would never forget something like that...is it a trick? an excuse for you to bring it? for him to go back home and to see you? (still sleeping, as usual).
"I think you might have forgotten something, baby" you texted, then deleted it. What if I surprise him? would it be wrong? out of place? maybe would it make him feel embarrassed to have his little girlfriend bringing him his lunch? as if he's a dumb lost kid. No...he wouldn't... right?
There you were, all dressed up (just in case) in front of the door of a big building unknown to you. You asked a secretary where you have to go, then followed by a little chat and her indicating the elevator where you had to get in, you got in. There you are...in an elevator... of your boyfriend's work, serious work, a work only men do, men with big brains and... beautiful eyes...and, next thing you know you're smiling like a goof remembering his face, so cute.
You looked at yourself in the mirror, you looked good, the sunshine from the morning made an effect on you. Spence told you, once he saw you enjoying the sun on a warm day, that vitamin D helps the body to absorb calcium, which helps the bones, so now, it feels like your bones tickle every time you're under it.
A sound, a movement, the elevator doors opened, why are you nervous? this is dumb.
You walked, a little lost, looking for something to indicate your boyfriend's location.
"hello!" you turned around. A blonde, with bangs and a very colorful outfit was saying hello to you.
"hi!" you smiled "I'm looking for Dr Reid, do you know him?".
"I do! why are you looking for him?" she looked down at your hands, holding that metal box she seemed familiar with. "oh.my.god. that's Spencer's lunch box!"
You giggled, "yeah, he forgot it at home, I wanted to give it to him"
"you're- you're his girlfriend!?" you felt like she was about to throw herself at you, you smiled and nodded. "oh my god! this is so exciting!" she tooked your arm and made you walk towards a door, people were watching you, people tipping on a keyboard and answering calls.
She knocked on the door, is Spence there?
"I'm Penelope by the way" she said while waiting for someone to shout her to come in.
It clicked, of course she was.
"oh I'm sorry!, I'm Y/N, Spence has told me a lot about you, about everyone actually he tells me you're a genius with technology and-" you got interrupted by the door opening, she did.
"I'm sorry to interrupt but I have a little present for Reid right behind me..." she said, you could hear her smiling. She took your hand and exposed you to what felt like the world. Then you saw him, confused, all dressed up (so cute!) a tie and a shirt, and...pants and stuff. With his hair styled as you told him he looked good!.
He smiled, blushing "hey!" he got up and stand in front of you.
"hi" you smiled "you forgot...your lunch, I'm sorry, is this wrong?" you asked. His face, so close, but perfectly positioned to allow you to notice Garcia whispering "she's his girlfriend!" expecting not to be heard.
"no! it's perfect, thank you! thank you..." he kissed your cheek. Maybe that was what was necessary to make the theories be confirmed, he kissed your cheek! you saw some eyes about to leave their respective faces, and smiles and open mouths, and a little gasp and jumps coming from, who else? Garcia.
"uhm...this is the team, guys, this is my girlfriend y/n" he introduced you, you waved along with a smiling hi, followed by a ton of hello's from the team.
"anyway" you said to Spence "that was it baby, I don't wanna bother you"
"you don't bother me..." he said, face like he was hurt by you thinking you'd EVER bother him.
"you're good! come here, sit!" you heard from who you assume is Derek. "let's have a little chat" he said taping the desk.
"oh no, please, you're working, I didn't mean to bother" you said smiling, interrupting wasn't your intention.
"oh please! when will we have the chance to meet you anyway!?" said Garcia.
"it would be more appropriate to do it over dinner" said probably Hotch, damn what a deep voice.
Spence looked at you, those eyes, god, you could eat them.
"we could...have dinner at my house if you'd like someday" you smiled "thank you though, please, I don't mean to bother" again, bother, what an ugly word.
"that'd be lovely, do you cook?" said an old man, Rossi.
"I try..." you answered. He smiled, Spence rushed to say "she does! she cooks very well, she's the one that took care of me when I had the chicken pox and only drank soup for two weeks"
"I love soup, maybe you can share your recipe for my kids" you heard from a pretty blonde woman.
"of course" you smiled. "anyway...I'll let you guys work, I'll be waiting for our dinner, nice to meet you all".
A ton of hands waved in your direction next to " "bye's" and some "nice to meet you". Spence walked you to the elevator, holding hands walking playfully.
"thank you for bringing me my lunch, babe" he said, holding the low of your back.
"it's nothing...did you actually forget it though?" you asked.
He smiled, you laughed and hit him with your elbow.
"I'm not the only profiler in the house I see" he said leaning his face close to yours, you smiled and kissed him. Again, that sound from the elevator.
"I'll see you at night" it almost felt like your body didn't want to leave his, you felt his fingers gripping the back of your sweater, you kissed him again and tried to walk to the elevator but you felt his grip on your arm, he kissed you again, then a little kiss, then you gave him another.
"I love you, thank you" he said. You waved while pressing the elevator button.
"I love you more" you said
"I love you more" he said and leaned again to kiss you one last time, you giggled and the elevator doors closed after he got his head out of them both. Your last view was him waving and smiling, that dumb smile that made you melt and feel safe the first day you saw him, so sweet, so him. As you.
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godmadeaterribleerror · 2 days ago
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Where Do You End Pt. 1
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Main Masterlist
Read on A03! - Pt. 2
Tags: Dean Winchester/Female Reader, light angst, body swap, mentions of smut, humor, horniness, very weird
Summary/Warnings: You and Dean have found yourself in a body swap situation, but your bodies don't seem to be aware of that. They keep trying to do what they always do.
And what they always do isn't really something either of you what the other to know about.
Author's Note: Request from an anon! On god I made it as weird as it could get. I'm proud of me. Also, we're once again looking at multiple parts. Enjoy!
Word Count: 4.5k
This was fucking weird. 
Dean knew wasn’t exactly worth saying—it might be the most obvious statement in history—but this was so fucking weird. Weird in a way that made his brain feel a little fuzzy, that made his skin itch because there was no way this was real.
But there was certainly a way this was real.
And it wasn’t Dean’s skin that was itchy. 
She had nice skin. It was soft and comfortable to be inside of, the callouses on Her hands felt better placed than the ones on Dean’s, and there were scars that he’d sometimes touch on accident that felt more like art than stains. Her hair felt right whenever he’d brush his fingers through it. Her waist was perfect to hold whenever he’d brace his hands on his hips. And when Dean would reach up to rub his jaw, he’d be slammed with another reminder that this wasn’t his jaw. It was too smooth, at a different angle, and far too good.
This was the jaw he’d dreamt of holding and angling back. Of kissing a soft line across, sucking a small, dark mark on, or nipping at until everyone could see that Dean had been here. That his hand had wrapped around Her neck because she trusted him there, and he’d been holding Her chin up so She could look him in the eyes as they grinned at each other.
She had the prettiest smile. Her lips would curve up at the perfect angle, her eyes would shine like small stars, and every little line on Her face would serve as evidence that She was happy.
Dean hadn’t seen Her smile in a while. Not at him. Not like She used to. 
And he certainly wouldn’t see it now. He couldn’t.
All he could see was himself, across the room, rolling on the balls of his feet and sucking on his teeth as he thought.
As She thought.
This was so weird.
“I don’t like this.” She muttered, and Dean frowned. His voice sounded rougher, deeper, and heavier from outside. He wasn’t sure how he felt about it, or how to interpret the small shivers up his spine and over his skin. 
“C’mon,” Dean said Her name, in her sweet and musical voice, and he liked how it sounded. He’d always loved how She said her own name, like it was an answer to something or the only lesson Dean would ever need to learn. “Is it really that bad to be stuck in my body-“
“Yes.” She snapped, raising Her chin and glaring down at him, and now his heart was beating faster. “This feels weird, and I don’t like seeing you be me. You’re doing it wrong.”
Dean frowned, and Her hair fell over his eyes. “How the hell am I doing it-“
“You’re sitting wrong. Your legs are too wide, I don’t lean like that, and when I frown it’d not supposed to look like I’m trying to murder someone.”
Dean disagreed with that last one. Shit, for months the only expression he’d gotten from Her was a frown that told him She wanted him dead. 
He didn’t blame Her. He wasn’t all too happy with himself either, but it had been the only option. She wanted him. She said She wanted him, and she hadn’t been lying, and that had been the worst thing in the world.
If She hadn’t really wanted him, Dean could’ve offered himself in all his broken, foul glory and She would’ve walked away all by herself. Dean never would’ve needed to worry about losing Her, because he wouldn’t have had Her to begin with. But She’d said Dean Winchester, I want you, and he’d fucking believed Her. He never believed people when they said that. 
And him believing Her meant Dean could lose Her. Could truly let Her down and get her hurt. 
So he’d said no. He’d lied with practiced ease—through his teeth and with a flat expression—and told Her he didn’t see her like that. That She was his best friend, and he’d just never felt that for Her.
She nodded, and backed off. Smiling less and frowning more and still joking with him but never bumping their feet together under a table or leaning Her head on his shoulder. 
It was what he’d wanted. She was safer, and still within Dean’s reach to just see Her, to know she was okay. But he’d never expected to touch Her again. He’d made his peace with the fact that She’d always be just a stretch away, but never his to hold.
And now he could only hold Her. Only rub Her thighs when he was thinking, only touch her face when he tried to brush Her hair away, only feel Her everywhere, every second, until he drove himself mad.
He didn’t know if he wanted to thank the witch that had done this, or kill them again.
Right now he was leaning towards the later, if only because he really didn’t like seeing Her in his body. It wasn’t just weird. It was wrong.
“You’re not exactly acting like me either, sweetheart.” Dean raised his brows, and watched his own face drop into a further glower. “You’re standing too much like a girl.”
She scoffed. “What the fuck does that even mean-“
“You’re too relaxed-“
“Relaxed?”
“Yeah.” He tried to raise his chin, but Her hair fell in his face again. He didn’t know how the hell he was suppose to do anything when he had to keep it out of his face. “And you gotta walk slower. We’re not in a rush-“
“I’m in a rush! I told you, Dean, I don’t like this-“
“I’m not a big fan either!” He snapped. “But what the hell are we suppose to do about it? Every time we’ve tried to tell Sammy he hasn’t heard us-“
She rolled Her eyes. And they were Dean’s eyes, but that was Her eye roll. “That’s the curse, dumbass. We have to break it-“
“I got that, sweetheart, but I’m not seeing how you plan to do that without help-“
“I have you, Dean.” Her voice—his voice—was louder. Firmer. Commanding. It made his gut warm, and his body—Her body—sit a little taller of his own accord. “You’re on research duty, buddy. Let’s go.”
Dean scowled. He hated it when She called him buddy. He wasn’t Her buddy, he was supposed to be Her-
Nothing. Dean was Her nothing, because he’d been so very careful to make and keep it that way.
And that knowledge never stopped him from wanting Her. Wanting Her so bad that, when he’d glance down at her hands, now in his control, he couldn’t stop wondering if he’d ever get to feel them like this again. Rubbing against skin and tracing over the curve of his lips and trailing nails on his legs.
It didn’t really count. That wasn’t Dean’s body that he was feeling. But the touch felt real, and he didn’t really want to let it go yet, not if this was the closest to holding Her he’d ever get. Just a small, torturous reparation for his sacrifice of never really having her, where he got to memorize Her body and keep it in his head forever.
“C’mon,” Dean said Her name, because he wanted a little more time. A longer chance to exist in this purgatory, because he’d never get the chance to fully enter heaven. “You don’t need my help-“
“Yes, I do.” She snapped, grabbing Her jacket from the bed and marching to the door. “Get up. We’re going.”
Dean didn’t want to get up, but Her body didn’t seem to agree with him. He pushed off the bed and gained an unsteady balance, because Her knees were oddly weak. She wasn’t weak—She hunted like an animal and had used this very body to knock Dean flat on his ass—but something was making him lightheaded and dizzy. 
He was probably just hungry. They hadn’t eaten since the curse hit. 
“If we’re doing this,” he grumbled, shuffling to put on Her shoes. “We’re doing it with food.”
“Deal.” She tried to shrug on Her jacket, froze when it didn’t fit around Dean’s body, and chucked it right at his face. “Wear that. I don’t want you getting me a cold.”
Dean rolled his eyes, but put on the jacket. She was already pissed, and this wasn’t worth fighting about.
“This is so weird,” She mumbled, shaking Dean’s head. “C’mon, Winchester, we’re fixing this-“
“Wait,” Dean frowned, patting his pockets—Her pockets—and scanning around the motel room. “Where are my keys-“
“You mean these keys?”
He turned to see Her holding up the Impala’s keys, a shit-eating grin on Her face. 
Dean narrowed his eyes, holding out his hand. “Gimme my keys.”
“No.” She shrugged, Her grin growing. “I think I’m good.”
“I’m not asking, sweetheart-“
“Okay. You take them, they’re yours.”
She walked out of the motel room, and Dean’s eyes widened. There was no fucking way She was driving his car.
“They are mine!” He shouted, sprinting after Her. “Just cause you’re in my damn body-“
Her body was faster than Dean was used to. He almost slammed right into Her back—His back—and an undignified sound left his when Her arms wrapped around his waist, catching him from a fall and holding him right to Her chest.
He’d never realized he was that broad. Or that strong. She was holding Dean like he was paper, and looking at him with shining eyes—he could see the real Her almost glowing in his body—and grinning with Her whole face. Dean’s whole face, with crinkles near his eyes he hadn’t known he had, and stubble on his jaw he’d meant to shave today.
Her hands were rubbing his waist. It was the small, careful circles he always dreamt of leaving on Her hips and arms. 
He wasn’t sure She knew she was doing it.
“Uh,” Dean cleared his throat, because She needed to let go now. Her touch was burning on his body, and they hadn’t really touched since the curse hit, so maybe they weren’t allowed to. “Keys.”
She shook Her head. “This is my one chance to drive, Dean-“
“It’s my freakin’ car-“
“And I’m you.” She raised Her brows, still holding him, and the fiery feeling got worse. “I’m driving.”
He should’ve fought more. But Her hand squeezed him lightly, and his whole body grew molten. 
She needed to let go of him now. 
He tried to grunt Her name, but it just came out breathy and soft. “You crash it-“
“I pay for the repairs.”
Dean scowled, but gave in. Right now She was stronger and taller than he was, and Dean didn’t really want to lose any dignity trying to physically take the keys. 
And She didn’t crash it. Dean watched Her drive with careful attention—grumbling about what She was doing wrong until She shot him the deadliest glare he’d ever seen—and She never even came close to crashing. Her hands were big and firm and broad on Baby’s wheel, and Her arms would flex when she shifted the wheel, and there was a set look of determination on Her face that made her jaw look shaper-
That was not Her jaw. That was his jaw. And his arms, and his hands, and he wasn’t sure why the hell his eyes had been wandering over himself like that. He didn’t know why the hell he could feel his heartbeat in his throat and stomach. 
He wasn’t in full control. When they parked, his body didn’t want to move until She helped him out of his seat, and Dean didn’t miss the look of confusion on Her face, like she wasn’t entirely certain why She’d done that. It was the same expression she had when She guided him inside, or when She opened the door for him.
Those were things Dean always did for Her. He wasn’t used to a hand on his back, or how nice it felt there. Secure, like a tether that told him he’d be alright. He didn’t understand why his body leaned closer to Her’s as they walked, or why his stomach kept doing little flips when Her eyes would fall from scanning over the diner and land on his.
He felt so unbelievably safe and calm. Hell, he’d never felt like this. Like the sky could fall and it would be fine, because the body across from his in the booth would catch it. 
This was a really weird curse.
“You’re going to take notes,” She said, pushing a stack of books across the table that She must have pulled out of her ass. “I’ll look for something online.”
Dean frowned, shaking his head. The fucking hair was in his face again. “Why do I have to do the notes-“
“Because I have better handwriting, and you have my hands.” She handed him a notebook and pencil, and their fingers brushed, sending small sparks of electricity through Dean’s blood. “Tell me if you find something.”
“Nah, sweetheart. I think I’ll have some pie and do the online research-”
Dean had started to push everything back across the table, but he froze at the glare on Her face. It was downright domineering, and did weird things to his brain. He felt fuzzy. 
“You’re doing notes.” She grunted, and Dean definitely felt at least a little dizzy. “That’s it.”
His voice was high and almost bratty in his own ears. He didn’t like it. “But-“
“Don’t test me, Winchester. I swear to god I’ll eat a salad.” Her eyes narrowed. “I’ll take you for a run.”
Dean tensed. “You wouldn’t fuckin’ dare-“
“You wanna bet?”
She’d won the argument again. Those were the arguments Dean was supposed to win. He was supposed to be able to talk his way out of anything with Her. To smirk and wink and tease Her until she broke rank from Sam’s side, and Dean didn’t have to do the stupid parts of the cases anymore. He hadn’t taken notes in years. He hated taking notes, and he wanted to keep pushing until order was restored and She was doing the notes—she usually loved doing the notes—but Her body had other ideas.
His mouth couldn’t figure out how to open and snap at Her. His body was molded and frozen into the seat whenever She’d look at him, and something kept humming in his chest whenever She’d talk. He was taking notes because he couldn’t remember how not to—how to grab the laptop or point at Her with a stern finger—and Dean’s was writing fast and neat, and his hand wasn’t cramping.
His foot kept aching to inch forward and press on Her calf. His fingers kept wanting to reach out and trace Her jaw. Dean wanted to sit on Her lap—he could never say that one aloud—because his body seemed to think it would be comfortable. 
This curse was insane. He didn’t need to try and act like Her anymore, because his body—Her body—still seemed to remember how She was supposed to move. He found his hands spinning the pen between Her fingers like he’d seen her do a million times. His legs were crossed on the booth instead of spread under the table. He ordered a burger, but he couldn’t eat it. It was too greasy and heavy, and he already felt a little sick from just one bite. 
She’d ordered chicken nuggets, and put Her usual disgusting amount of ketchup on the plate, but barely touched them.
They smelled really good. Dean was starving, his mouth watering as he couldn’t stop staring at them—or Her, in his body, but he didn’t really want to dwell on that—and when She glanced up at him, Her eyes flicked to the burger in front of him.
They traded plates without a word. And Dean had never seen himself eat before, but he finally understood why Sam was always so annoyed with him. She inhaled that thing, chewing loudly and wiping Her mouth with the back of her hand, licking her fingers clean and making disgusting smacking sounds-
The sounds should’ve been disgusting. Instead they settled in Dean’s gut, lighting a small fire he didn’t know how to stop feeding. He couldn’t figure out how to not stare at Her, arms braced on the table and brow furrowed as she read something on the laptop screen. 
He had to excuse himself to go get more drinks. 
“One beer.” He muttered, then immediately cringed. Beer sounded foul to his mouth. “Actually, make it a milkshake.”
“Hey, darlin’.” 
Some poor chick at the bar war probably getting hit on. The lady behind the counter seemed motherly. She’d handle it if it got out of hand, and Dean had bigger problems to deal with anyway. Problems like how if he didn’t have a milkshake right now, he might actually die.
“What flavor, sweetheart?” The server asked, and Dean frowned. Being called sweetheart was weird.
He responded with Her usual order—hopefully that would satisfy his unwelcome craving—and someone off the side cleared the throat.
“You gonna answer me?”
A hand landed on Dean’s arm, and he flinched. It felt clammy and wrong on his body. Like a weight that settled into his bones and sent a creeping, itchy feeling over his skin.
He turned to see a fairly tall, well-built man grinning at him with an almost predatory smile. It made his body go rigid, almost shrinking in on itself.
“Are you, uh,” he frowned. “You talking to me?”
The man laughed. It was too loud, with not warmth, and echoed like a gunshot in his skull. “Course I am, sweetheart. I don’t see any other pretty girls ‘round.”
Oh.
Dean was the poor chick being hit on. 
And he hated it. His body hated it. Not only was this man’s touch wrong, his voice was wrong. It slithered over Dean’s gut and chest, making everything in him recoiled and balk, because that was not how he was supposed to be called sweetheart. 
“I, um,” he glanced back to the booth, frowning when he realized She was gone. “Listen, dude, I’m not-“
“Dude?” The man laughed. “We can do better than that, baby-“
Dean might have visibly recoiled. He hated baby, only one voice felt like it was supposed to call him baby, even if it never had-
He didn’t know what was happening, or why he was having such a visceral reaction to something that should’ve been passive and boring. Dean knew She got hit on all the time, because she was a fucking knockout, and his usual reaction to it was a possessive anger he had no right to feel. Not disgust, or a weird desire to retreat and hide-
“What’s going on?”
That was Dean’s own voice. And there was a large presence behind him that felt reliable. That his body wanted to lean back into.
When Dean turned, She was right there with narrowed eyes. 
He didn’t love how he immediately felt better, and softer, and a little light-headed.
“Hey, man, you gotta wait your turn-“
“My turn?” She snorted. “Walk away from hi- her, buddy, or I’ll kick your ass. I can do that now.”
She puffed Her chest, and—as soon as his brain remembered how to not be static warmth—Dean would have to talk to Her about not abusing his body for unapproved bar fights.
The man scoffed. “Bro, there ain’t no way this is your girl-“
“She is.” Her voice was dry, her face flat. “In more ways than you can imagine. Go.”
Dean was starting to like this curse less. To start, he didn’t appreciate the speed at which the idea of Her being his girl had been dismissed. He also wasn’t a huge fan of how She’d called him his girl, and he’d liked it. She’d been talking about how Dean was in Her body, and she probably didn’t want a random creep trying to get in her pants. 
Dean’s body—Her body—loved the sound of Her agreement in his voice. It made him feel tingly. 
It didn’t help how She was touching him—holding his arms as She glared at the man over his head—and it kicked the feeling from a soft, warm hum to fireworks. Dean wanted Her hand to meld there and never let go. When the man walked away and She started talking, he never wanted Her to shut up.
“You-“ She swallowed, shaking Her head slightly. “Never mind. I found it.”
Dean blinked at Her. “It?”
“How to tell Sam.
“Oh.” He paused, mostly staring at her as the words sank in, and letting out a long breath of relief escape him when they did. “Awesome.”
She raised Her brows. “You’re pro switching back now?”
“I’ve always been pro switching back-“
“You said it wasn’t that urgent.”
Dean rolled his eyes. “I changed my mind, sweetheart. What’d you find.”
She gave him an odd look—Dean couldn’t tell if it was hurt, annoyance, or absolute indifference—but continued. “We have to work around the curse.”
“What the hell does-“
“We can’t tell Sam that I’m you and you’re me. Every time we have the call gets dropped, or something loud has drowned us out, Sam’s literally fucking hangs up-“
“I know,” Dean drawled Her name, giving Her a flat look. “I was there for all of that-“
“Shut up. My point is every time we’ve tried to explicitly tell him, he hasn’t heard us. So what if we just don’t?”
Dean frowned at Her. “Your solution is to just freakin’… give up? Like we’re a kiddie soccer team that lost one to many matches, and we’re gonna quit and cry about it?”
“No, Dean. My goal is to not say it, but let Sam figure it out himself.”
“How-“
“Think of something only you and Sam know about. Something you’d never disclose to anyone else.” A wide, broad grin was stretching over Her face. Dean’s face.
He couldn’t keep living like this.
“We’ve got a few of those kinds of secrets, but I’m not-“
“You don’t have to tell me. You have to tell Sam, in my voice. Just like I’m going to say one of our secrets in your voice.”
It was a smart plan, and it would probably work. Sam knew She and Dean were being so annoying and weird about each other, so they wouldn’t be spilling deep, dark secrets anytime soon. Sam would hear them, and he was smart, so he’d figure them out. 
But Dean was mostly stuck on the last part of that sentence.
“You and Sammy have secrets?”
She rolled Her eyes. “We’re friends. Of course we have secrets.”
“About what?”
“It’s not a secret if I tell you.”
She crossed Her arms—Dean’s arms—and he wanted them to wrap around him and keep him warm and safe, maybe choke him a little or carry him around everywhere like he was the only thing She was meant to hold-
Jesus. 
“Whatever.” Dean muttered. He needed to get away from Her now. “I’m going to the bathroom.”
She frowned. “Can you hold it?”
“Yeah, but why the hell would I-“
“I don’t want you peeing in my body.”
Dean snorted. “Are you freakin’ serious-“
“Yes! You’ll have to wipe-“
“I know how to wipe, sweetheart. And you’re gonna need to take me to piss eventually-“
Dean could swear She blushed. He blushed. Goddamnit. 
“I’d hold it.” She snapped, standing a little taller. “You can go back at the motel, where I can go with you.”
“Why would you need to go with me-“
“I don’t want you touching me there, Dean!” Her voice was a low, hushed shout. “It’s- You don’t get to- I’d need to wipe, and make sure you didn’t look!”
“It’s just a pussy,” he said Her name slowly, and She looked like she was going to kill him.
His horrible body—Her body—wanted to either give in or push harder, until She snapped him in half. 
It seemed to like the idea of Her giving him anything at all.
Dean could work with that.
“Dean, I’m fucking serious-“
“So am I! It’s just a body, ” He sneered, and really wished She was taller. It was hard to be firm and authoritative when She was bigger. 
When this was over, he’d probably respect Her a little more. She shouted and him and Sammy all the time without ever flinching.
“Look, I get that this is weird as hell, but it’s nothing I haven’t seen before-”
 “You haven’t seen it before. It’s my vagina, Dean, and you don’t get to see it now. Hold your piss.”
Suddenly, it clicked. She cared that Dean would be touching Her. If it was Sam, She wouldn’t give a shit.
But Dean had lost the right to touch Her there when he’d decided he could never hold Her.
It had felt like a good idea at the time. Past Dean had understood that She deserved better, and She shouldn’t have to live Her whole life with a target on Her back. Past Dean had known that She’d find better, and he’d be forgotten in a few years, and it was better for his to have another good thing slip through his fingers rather than hold it and break it. Past Dean just wanted Her to be happy and safe, and She’d never be both as long as She was attached to him.
Past Dean had been an idiot. That son of a bitch hadn’t needed to pee this bad, and he hadn’t spent months with Her just in reach. 
Dean opened his mouth to say something—not an apology, because he’d make that choice in every life to keep Her safe—but before he could, She was moving. Grabbing the hook of Dean’s arm and pulling him out of the diner.
“That’s my body, Dean.” She snapped. “You’re peeing at the motel.”
Dean grumbled an agreement, and didn’t fight all that hard. He had bigger worries. She was pulling him through the parking lot, and he was letting Her. Shit, he was trying to jog a little to keep up with Her, maybe fall into her side. Just fall into Her. She opened the Impala door and he scowled, but let Her help him inside. Her hand touched his lower back again, and it set off fireworks around his ribs and through his intestines.
He felt weirdly warm and gooey, his skin was tingling again, and when he shifted slightly in his seat he could feet something wet between his legs-
Son of a bitch.
She’d been manhandling him, and he was turned on by it. Her body was turned on by it. She wanted to Dean to jump in his own body and climb it like a tree, and Jesus, that ache between his legs was unbearable, and he wanted his own cock inside off him-
They needed to fix this right fucking now. 
End Note: Brace for incoming smut and silliness and angst. Brewing a perfect storm over here.
If you like this story, please reblog, share, or leave a comment! <3
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hy6erion · 2 days ago
Text
𝐄𝐮𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐚 - 𝐕𝐢𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐫 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
✰⍣..𝐡𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐲, 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲- 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐟
⇢ 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭, 𝐦𝐝𝐧𝐢, 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐯𝐢𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫, 𝐟𝐞𝐦! 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫, 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐦/𝐬𝐮𝐛 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬, 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬, 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐳𝐚𝐮𝐧
𝐯𝐢𝐤 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐮 𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐭 o( ❛ᴗ❛ )o
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Zaun never sleeps.
Somewhere in the distance, metal scrapes against metal, a high-pitched whine of machinery grinding through the underground streets. The scent of smoke lingers, thick and acrid, seeping into clothes, into skin, into everything that makes this place what it is.
But in here, in Viktor's small, cluttered room-where the air is thick with oil and old books, with sweat and something sharper, something charged-there is only him.
And you.
You never done this before. Not with him. Not with anyone.
He knows. Of course, he knows. He notices everything. The slight tremor in your fingers when you touch him, the way your breath catches before you even realizes it, the way you keeps shifting, as though your own skin doesn't quite fit right.
Viktor watches you like you’re something to be studied, analyzed.
Not in a cruel way-he isn't unfeeling—but in that slow, careful way he approaches everything, taking his time, committing every reaction to memory.
You swallow hard, nails scraping lightly over his shoulders. "You're staring."
His lips twitch. Not quite a smirk, but something close. "Am I?"
You huff, shifting slightly beneath him, and the movement draws a slow inhale from his parted lips. He's warm—warmer than you expected. His body, lean and sharp as it is, presses down against you, keeping you pinned.
Not that you mind.
"I'm nervous," you admit, almost reluctant, eyes flicking away for a moment before dragging back to his.
"Aren't you?"
Viktor hums, tilting his head slightly.
"No." His fingers trace the line of your ribs, slow, deliberate. "Should I be?"
You frowns. „I don't know. Maybe."
He chuckles softly, pressing his lips just beneath your jaw, his breath fanning warm against your skin. "I have waited long enough for this." His voice dips lower, something dark curling around the words. "I will not let nerves ruin it."
Your stomach tightens.
He knows what he's doing. You’d wondered if he would. He isn't like the men who linger in the dark alleys of Zaun, greedy and impatient. No, Viktor is methodical, deliberate in everything he does.
And right now-right now, he is unraveling you piece by piece, taking his time, savoring every flicker of hesitation, every shaky exhale.
His fingers slip lower, dragging over the sensitive skin of your hip. "You want this?"
You nod.
Viktor's grip tightens suddenly, fingers pressing firm into your skin.
"Use your words, love."
The sharp authority in his tone sends heat curling through you.
"I do," you breathe.
His lips brush against your ear. "Good girl."
Your whole body reacts to the praise, something embarrassing and hot twisting in your stomach. Viktor notices-of course he does. His mouth curves against her skin, amused, satisfied.
"You like that," he murmurs. Not a question. A fact.
You don’t answer.
He laughs softly, his breath warm as he drags his lips down your throat. "Ah, you are shy now?" His fingers tease at the edge of your clothes, pushing fabric aside like he's peeling away layers, stripping you down to something vulnerable, something fragile.
It should be uncomfortable.
It isn't.
"Stop thinking so much," he murmurs, shifting against you, pressing you deeper into the mattress. "You do not need to be so tense."
You huff a short laugh, hands gripping his arms. "Easy for you to say."
His teeth scrape lightly against your pulse. "I could make it easy for you," he muses, voice dipping lower. His hands slide up, pulling your thighs apart with slow, deliberate pressure.
"Or-" He breathes in, exhales slow. "I could make it harder."
You exhales sharply, your head tipping back against the pillow.
Viktor's tongue flicks out, tracing a slow line along your throat. "Which do you prefer?"
You don’t know.
He hums, dragging his fingers up the inside of your thigh, spreading you open. "No answer?" His voice is soft, teasing. "Hm. I think I know already."
You swallows. „Viktor-"
He presses a single finger inside you.
Your whole body tenses.
It's too much and not enough at the same time, the stretch of it unexpected. You exhale shakily, fingers gripping his wrist before you even realise what you’re doing.
Viktor stills. He doesn't pull away. He waits, patient as ever, watching you closely.
"You are alright?"
You nod, trying to breathe through it, but he catches your wrist and stills you.
"I did not ask for that." His fingers flex slightly. "Say it."
You exhale slowly. "I'm okay."
His expression doesn't change, but something in his gaze softens, just barely. He leans down, pressing a slow kiss to your temple.
"Tell me if it is too much," he murmurs against your skin. "I will be careful!"
You believe him.
When he moves again, it's slower, more patient, his fingers working you open, his breath warm against your cheek. You feel stretched, unpracticed, but there's something about the way he watches you, the way his mouth parts slightly when you react just right—
You grip his shoulders, head tipping back, and he smiles.
"There you are." His voice is pleased, teasing. "It is not so bad, hm?"
You exhale sharply. "Shut up."
His laugh is quiet, low.
He doesn't shut up.
But when he finally pushes into you—
You forgot how to speak, anyway.
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batmanisagatewaydrug · 3 days ago
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Hello!! I hope you're doing well! Do you have any recs for books about twisted/problematic relationships but with woc? Obviously there's our queen octavia butler but unfortunately for me i've finished reading all her books so i'm desperately craving for books that scratch this itch. Thank you for this blog btw i really love reading all your thoughts & reviews ♥️
goddd okay this list is not going to be nearly as long as I wish it was but it is extreeeeemely varied, so at least we have that going for us lmao. and hopefully you find something interesting in here:
right out of the gate if you're chasing that Octavia high, Rivers Solomon's novel Sorrowland feels very very in that vein. it starts with a teenage girl escaping from a Black separatist fundie cult while heavily pregnant with the cult leader's twins, deciding to give birth to the babies in the woods and raise them there. and boy, does it get crazier from there! there are some eventual transformative body horror sci-fi elements that I shan't spoil, but it's a time. the relationships are pretty secondary and genuinely not the most fucked up thing here, but our main girlie Vern is very much into girls and trying to figure that out on top of all the other horrors.
The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms is the first book in a fantasy trilogy by specfic queen NK Jemisin, and the first book in particular is really like. problematic relationship city. the protagonist is called to be an heir to a dying emperor and IMMEDIATELY gets embroiled in a love triangle with two of the gods that her family enslaves for power??? crazy shit.
I just kicked off this year reading a book called Darknesses by Lachelle Seville, which ALSO features a young Black woman fresh out of a cult (this one loves self harm and anorexia). and then she meets another Black girl who casually drops that she's Dracula, and oh boy do things get weirder from there. this book is like kind of Not Good but it is very entertaining; at a certain point you just have to turn off your brain and go with the vibes. it's sweeter than a lot of examples but listen, obsession and bloodlust are obsession and bloodust no matter how much your gf Dracula respects consent. there's a lot of murder!
this one doesn't have any supernatural bullshit afoot and is instead just regular degular #problematic, but Raven Leilani's Luster was one of my favorite books last year and follows an absolute shitshow of a young Black woman's extremely loaded and weird relationship with her older white boyfriend and his insane wife, as well as their adopted Black daughter.
anther no magic entry: I really love Oyinkan Braithwaite's My Sister, The Serial Killer, which is about exactly what you think it's about! the narrator is a put-upon Nigerian woman whose beautiful, beloved sister has murdered her last several boyfriends and has come crying to her dutiful sister to help her clean it up each time; the plot kicks in when the murdery sister sets her sights on the narrator's boss, a doctor to whom the narrator is also attracted. I know it's a sibling relationship instead of a romantic one but you didn't specify so! I am counting it!
this one is like very very very niceys compared to everything else I'm going to put on this list but it's also pretty hot so I have to mention it: Little Rabbit by Alyssa Songsiridej is about a young, bisexual Asian-American woman struggling to get a writing career off the ground falling in love with a Notably Older and wealthier white man and figuring out how to navigate the subsequent problems both within their own interpersonal dynamic and in how their relationship is received by others.
honorary mentions: books about fucked up white women that are written by women of color who Know!!
Under the Pendulum Sun by Jeannette Ng is a Victorian alternate history in which the English discovered the fairy realm and promptly did what the English did, ie, sending missionaries to teach the fairies about Jesus. the novel follows a woman traveling to the fairy kingdom to look for her missing missionary brother and promptly going insane as fairies gaslight gatekeep girlboss from all sides, complete with a side of everyone's favorite gothic horror trope: repressed sibling incest!
My Nemesis by Charmaine Craig is another very lowkey and grounded example, comparatively, but I thought it was neat and worth a mention! it's told from the POV of truly insufferable white woman writer whose emotional affair with a philosopher gets thrown for a fucking loop by the philosopher's wife, an enigmatic Chinese woman whose motivation the MC cannot guess literally at all. it's not the most exciting read in the world but the reveals hit hard and the reveals at the end made me YELL.
also for short story collections by WOC that can bring the #yikes factor in big ways I heartily endorse Roxane Gay's Difficult Women and Carmen Maria Machado's Her Body and Other Parties.
I wish I had more to throw you here; please if anyone has something to add to this list I am LISTENING
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drunktuesdays · 2 days ago
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MR FRODO!!! DONT GO WHERE I CANT FOLLOW!!!!!
i'm no happier about this than you are. do u understand how long i've escaped hockey.... i mean, i'm not an animal. i've sampled their wares. i've perused their markets. and on cold nights when there was nothing left in my "marked for later" tab, i've gone hunting on their land. but i've never bothered to learn enough to picture them. do you know i've read almost every good fic in the sid/geno tag and only i found out what geno looks only like two years ago? i've been STRONG. except i guess that time sashayed ALMOST got me into that one retired guy who i thought was so fucking hot but no one ever wrote fic or posted about him so it didn't go anywhere.
anyway what i'm saying to you is that i don't like what's happening for me. unfortunately, grace, it's hard times over here. i'm almost done my biannual reread of the 2 million word fic where harry potter becomes part phoenix. i'm BORED. I AM BORED!!!!! and when i scroll and i see my friend talking about a man absolutely humiliating himself because he's desperately jealous that he wasn't featured in an instagram post? i'm supposed to SCROLL PAST two boys giggling and whispering because they've never experienced this feeling before and don't think anyone else has?? HELLO. i'm interested. i'M INTERESTED. i don't wanna watch hockey and i swear to god if anyone tries to teach me ONE thing about the game i will SCREAM!!!! but i also want very very very badly to read about them frotting until it kind of hurts and then secretively thinking like, "did we invent doing that.....no one else can possibly have figured that out....."
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thespianinthebackcorner · 3 days ago
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I think part of the reason this narrow definition of "canon" is also part of why people are so incensed about other stuff that has degraded fandom culture nowadays too. Along with a lack of media literacy, people have begun to expect things served to them on a platter exactly as it says on the tin- but that's just not how art works. You cannot have a functional clock without the gears, and good art has a great many gears hidden beneath the surface. For a piece of media to operate at its full capacity and do what it is meant to- in this case, serve as queer representation- you cannot show every single gear in the clock, and often- especially in modern society, where it is still for some reason a dangerous struggle to have that queer representation included in mainstream media- sometimes it is better, necessary, to hide the gears and let the audience figure out the true nature of the clock and what makes it tick the way it does. It's a very recent phenomenon that media has begun to be blatant about their representation and allowed the characters to be obvious about who they are, and people are taking this openness for granted and not looking back to see how we got to this point.
This also means people don't learn to see what is and is not good representation, as when you learn the structure of the gears and how to spy the right kind of a clock, it becomes easier to find the gilded models made only for money and not out of love for the craft and the purpose. If you do not learn to find the "hidden" representation, the gears just below the surface, you cannot possibly learn to find everything below, all the mechanics that make the gears turn, the source of the energy- and, in turn, you cannot recognise a good, beautiful, clock deserving of your love and worth the time and effort made to make it, and you cannot learn to tell those from the cheap imitations made to trick people into buying half-broken clocks with no soul behind their creation, only greed. I myself, as of now, can often only find the mechanics of the upper layers, the more obvious things, and often have to be told what is and is not good representation by those who are more experienced. But it is a skill you must learn and hone, as the more you learn to recognise the maker's mark of a good clock, the more you learn to discard the fakers and push them to do better.
As artisans like I am, it is even more vital a skill, to recognise what you may be unconsciously putting into what you are crafting. I can create a few levels deeper than I can recognise, but analysis of your own work- and asking others to analyse it for you- is necessary to grow this skill so that not only do you avoid mixed messages, you can fight biases hidden further than you might be able to see at first. This is still something I need to learn and hone, too- I still have some internalised ableism, and I've had to come face-to-face with that as I write my first HMS fic (hence why chapter 2 is taking so long, sorry guys. I didn't know it was there until I started research for Heart). I have to learn to discard it and put the effort in to ensure I don't accidentally write that into the story as a subtextual message, and that isn't easy, but I'm learning. And so long as I keep learning, eventually I will overcome it and by nature learn to see and create even deeper into the gears of this clock I am just beginning to craft- and all the others I haven't started and haven't finished and haven't yet come across but will in the future.
I hope this analogy makes some sense.
Discussions of what "counts" as "canon" queer representation fall apart the second you start talking about media older than about five years or so. If your only metric for "canon queerness" is a character looking directly into the camera and explaining their identity in specific, modern, US-American-English terminology, you're not going to get a good picture of what queer media looks like. If your barometer for what counts as "canon" requires two characters of the same gender to kiss on-screen, you're not going to get a good picture of what queer media looks like.
Dr. Septimus Pretorius (portrayed by Ernest Thesiger in 1935's Bride of Frankenstein) was never going to look directly into the camera and explain his sexuality in 2024 terms, but he remains an icon in queer media history. You cannot look at that character (blatantly queer-coded in the manner of the time, played by a queer man in a film directed by another queer man) and tell me that he isn't a part of queer media history.
To be honest, even when discussing modern queer media, I would argue that the popular idea of what "counts" as "canon" is very narrow and flawed. I've seen multiple posts in the past few days that say the Nimona movie is "implied" trans representation, and I just...no, y'all, it's not "implied," it's an allegory. The entire damn movie is about transgender struggle, and the original comic is deeply tied into N.D. Stevenson's own queer journey. It isn't subtle. You cannot look at that movie and pretend that it isn't about trans struggle. It's blatant, and to say that Nimona "isn't canonically trans" is a take that misses the story's entire message, and the blatant queerphobia that almost kept the movie from happening. (I wrote a five thousand word essay about the topic.)
Queer themes, queer coding, queer exploration, and queer representation can all exist in a piece of media that doesn't seem to have "canon queer characters" on the surface. Most queer characters are never going to be able to explicitly state their specific identity labels, be it due to censorship or just due to the fact that scenes like that don't fit in some narratives. Some stories aren't conducive to a big "so what's your identity?" scene.
Explicit, undeniable, "this is my identity in no uncertain terms" scenes are very important and radical, and I'm not saying they shouldn't ever exist. I am saying that you can't consider those scenes the only way for queerness in a piece of media to be "canon."
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exilethegame · 3 days ago
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Writing Update 2/3/25 - Alpha Readers + Chapter 2
Hello everyone!
Long time no see. I have some announcements to make. First is that Chapter 2 has been wrapped up at ~ 90k, making the Twine Demo ~190k. This is very exciting! Lots of new variation has been added re. Amilia + Vethna's relationship (it depends on the Commander now), and Amilia's character has been a bit more refined.
My goal is to fix some typos + finish the "WIP" parts of Chapter 1 in the next week, and after being proofread, Chapter 2 + patches for Chapter 1 should be good to go.
Because of that, I'm finally doing what should be my last (hopefully) call for Alpha Testers! The deadline for submissions is Wednesday, February 12th. All the relevant info is on the google form. The hope is that we can push to do a Chapter 2 release by the end of this month, though it might be pushed to early March. You can apply to be an alpha reader here!
Otherwise, life's been interesting. I'm wrapping up college this semester, so I've been dealing with my Senior thesis (whoop) and I had a surgery that I am just now mostly recovered from (whoop whoop). Very strange to think I went into college working on the exile, and now I graduate still working on it. That's a long time!
Thanks for reading, and as always, thank you for being patient! :)
Apply to be an alpha reader!
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katsinspats · 4 months ago
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I think my copy of the game is broken they've been doing this for 30 minutes
Crop of the Biolizard edit I did bc it makes me laugh:
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 8 months ago
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Hey now, Let her cook!
#dungeon meshi#chilchuck tims#senshi#laios touden#marcille donato#izutsumi#oyasumi punpun#<- In case you are wondering what the source for the little bird guy is.#Yeah that's right. I'm back to my extremely obscure crossover BS.#Punpun is one of those series that falls under the category of 'Good! but I cannot responsibly recommend this to anyone."#If Dungeon Meshi is like a friend asking you to go on a quick errand and you accidently go on a life changing roadtrip -#Punpun is your friend asking to go on a quick errand and they pull up to the vet and tell you your dog is being put down.#Then they explode into sludge. Melting your car. You hitchhike back but the person who picked you up is an axe murderer.#I could not finish it. My friends who did say it was good. But agree it was for the best I did not finish it.#Hey speaking of tone twists...We are one episode away from one of my favourite chapters being animated!#WHO'S READY FOR THE SENSHI BACKSTORY! WHO IS READY TO CRY!#ME! I AM! I spooked my flatmate with how energetic I was this morning. I'm vibrating with energy I was not designed to contain.#I should talk about today's episode here: It was very good. I love how they animated the familiars.#And!!! Anime only people now are in the loop on the Chilchuck lore. Part 1 of many. He still contains multitudes.#They all do to be honest! If this episode told us anything it was that we still don't know these characters as well as we think!#See you guys next week. I'll be inconsolable.
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bean-spring · 2 months ago
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Hot take and not to be a killjoy or the shipping police but people treating Viktor or Jinx's aroace headcanons as if they were canon is not the revolutionary take people think it is.
Headcanons are always all right but we have to acknowledge that they are somehow damaging when they apply to stereotypes. It might not be the case for everyone but most of the time people unconsciously assume that disability/mental illness=asexuality. These headcanons erase the freedom of attraction from people who are already seen as unable to have sexual/romantic experiences/desires, when it's completely untrue and harmful.
You can headcanon Viktor and Jinx as aroace, but I have seen people changing their minds once Viktor is no longer disabled (s2 with all of his other forms) and Jinx is no longer as mentally ill (alternate universe Powder). And it speaks wonders of how people see these characters.
"I never thought about Jinx being able to feel romantic/sexual attraction until s2!" To believe she's actually only capable of that when she's not "damaged" is incredibly disturbing. Especially since Jinx has always had a bit of a flirty personality too.
"I've always seen Viktor as asexual, I don't know why!" That's fine. You can headcanon him as ace. But I believe there is a reason behind it, most of the time, if for some inexplicable reason the "vibes" of the disabled character are making you think he's ace.
I say all of this being aroaspec myself, by the way. Headcanon all you want but going to people's posts commenting how "it's weird for you that they have romantic/sexual plots when they're clearly aroace" is not a win at all. It's a headcanon, after all, and it should be treated as such, and that's fine. But it also is damaging to spread stereotypes like these.
Of course the disabled character is asexual. Of course the mentally ill character is aromantic. It's not as revolutionary as you might think, tbh.
Fandom is not activism and it's all right to have any headcanons you want BUT some of them are filled with damaging stuff and perhaps we should look into ourselves more before treating these assumptions as something canon.
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