#i'm going to have to get going on this so i don't waste the hoopla borrow

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Monday, January 1st, 2024!

10:29am We are alive mf's!!! We made it to the new year!

Currently having my semi-annual financial hoopla but things will work themselves out 😇

January goals: not spending money basically.

- don't get so drunk, it is not fun anymore!

- stop buying food/ drinks out! Too much $

- look for free activities

- free hobbies

- be mindful of what you're doing! And not doing!

- wake up earlier and go to bed earlier! (Gradual)

1:01pm I have already caved and have gotten PDQ 🤣 it's all good I'm straight chilling ❤️ Stay positive y'all. Watching A Historia Delas on Hulu, looks pretty good!

3:45pm Ok so PDQ has made me completely lethargic, the salt has made me totally bloated AF like I feel it in my belly and my feet and hands. I want to work on increasing my energy levels this year and omg this was not the right thing to do. I'm so bloated I'm too uncomfortable to nap even. This show is very good though thank god bc I'm clearly not doing much else today.

Also, one of my wall adjacent neighbors has been playing freaking dubstep or something for like 2 hrs straight and I just realized it's making my brain feel weird/ fuzzy but I couldn't identify why tf I felt that way before. There's so much damn noise in the world it's no wonder everyone is losing their mind/ irritable and slightly annoyed all the time.

8:04pm I did my nails! Also binge watching this show was a very good decision, the best I've made all day 🤣 Tried eating some cheese and it's too much!! My body is just rejecting all of this rich af holiday food and I should really clean out the fridge tomorrow and start fresh. I know it's a waste but idc I don't want to keep feeling like crap and I hate expired food. It's not my fault I went on vacation for like 10 days and all this was too much. I'm still not used to buying/ cooking food for one person. I need to stop buying gallons of milk ffs! It's way too much I had to have like 4 cups last night bc it was expiring today. This is just all part of being mindful, everything is a learning process! You are ok and you are doing great! ❤️

Also, learning more and more about how abusive my relationship is and I'm so glad the internet exists because it would have been so easy to just *not* be aware of this experience that i unfortunately share with many people!! Narcissistic abuse is real and I am ready to keep healing!! Can't fool me twice.

I loved talking to his grandmother though, she is so wise and sweet and I love that she really doesn't play his BS and can see through it, amen!!! I can't believe she said what I thought she would say.... She wants them to move out together so that they'll break up already!!!! That shit is crazy she really said that!!! I may be young but I am not stupid and I saw that shit coming from MILES away literally.

9:41pm He keeps randomly texting me and tbh at this point it's so crystal clear what he's doing and it's pathetic. Simply I have no admiration for him, no respect above human decency really, it's just pathetic is the only word for it. He clearly needs psychological help, and I'm not a psychologist! Also, don't you have a gf to text who literally hates me? Get it together, bro, you're not fooling anyone (except her?? Poor girl tbh she's really getting her payback/ karma in spades I'm sure) thanks universe :) love ya.

PS why does he keep bringing up the music thing?? Does he have no other lines I don't really get it. What tf am I supposed to do about that anyway. I listen to all of his music and my music just fine (oh wait it's because I took time to heal and didn't jump into another toxic relationship 7 days later!!) Get a grip, dude, you're not getting anyone's sympathy here.

Made a to do list for tomorrow so we'll see how that goes! Also I'm sleeping naked so we're trying lots of new things!

[rozinaaa]

Looking for Parts

Whilst I'm busy measuring everything up, and slowly making a start on creating mockups for the sound sculpture rooms, I'm looking for the things that I need in order to create my two readymade sculptures: two identical CRT monitors and a load of cables, as well as a vintage mac (including stickers, but those are easier to acquire), which are very hard to find. I want to keep the cost of this low, so I don't want to have to fork out a lot of money in order to get the vintage tech that I need.

I'm simply looking for monitors that don't work (i.e. parts only), because I don't need them to work since that's my intention. I have found some decent monitors, but they work, and it would feel a bit mean to purposefully destroy something that works perfectly fine (I say this because I'm conscious about e-waste as well as the environment, one of my side projects/ideas is to start up an initiative where I make repairing more inclusive and appealing to the general public, and also because I'm also interested in DIY/repairing things), so to put myself, my values, and my wallet out of misery, I'd want something that doesn't work anyway, just so that I can feel less guilty about destroying a perfectly fine thing, not to mention that the parts only ones are a lot cheaper because, well, they don't work.

On top of that, I'd want to spend no more than £100 on each monitor, and I don't want to spend a lot on shipping either, simply because I don't have the money to go out and buy really expensive things for my project.

I know that Facebook Marketplace exists, and there's apparently some good deals on there, but for personal reasons, I don't have Facebook anymore, nor am I willing to give up all of my data to an untrustworthy man (which feels like a stubborn and moot point, especially considering that I use WhatsApp, and occasionally use Instagram, which are still owned by the same company), plus I don't want to get back onto Facebook just to be able to get my hands on some non-working vintage monitors and cables, because I'll then be roped into using the rest of the platform.

I guess I could create a burner account under a generic name, and delete that account once I've got the things I need. However, I guess I can also scout out other places that do them, such as eBay and craigslist, as well as other places, but ideally, I'd want these things as soon as possible, so that I can start working on them.

I also want to anonymise as much of the process as possible, mainly through using a fake throwaway Facebook account if need be, and getting the things delivered to the post office instead of to my flat (although geographically speaking, my flat is closer to the university), to avoid the whole hoopla that comes with buying something online, but living in a gated apartment complex, which means that the delivery driver can't come in and deliver the thing you ordered, not to mention avoiding the suspicion of buying really huge things which cannot physically fit inside my place, as well as saving myself the hassle of lugging these things up the stairs and down again.

It's a fairly stressful process, but the sooner I get these things (especially before my money runs out), the better, so that I can simply get to work on them. I'm looking forward to working on these because I think it'll be an interesting process, and also because I'll finally be able to realise the ideas that I've been holding onto for quite some time now.

[fictionadventurer]

I remained so happily provincial I was unable to discuss the boredom of being alive with any intelligence until I had gone to London and lived there a year.

-Beryl Markham, West With the Night

[thereal-dj215]

I gave social media a break cuz it was really starting to look like a place where mostly everyone came to complain, cry, speculate, assume, showoff, and pretend to be something that we weren't, and I was guilty of it to. So if my 14 year old daughter doesn't even have a Facebook account by choice then I think I can give it a break for a lil. And it's not because she's not allowed to have social media that she doesn't participate. It's because she realized right away what it was, and even worse where it's going. And that's what made me take a real hard, honest look at myself, and what I been doing as far as the negative energy I been putting out into the world. And let me first be clear, I'm not accusing everyone of using social media that way, but let's be honest. I'm just guessing, probably 80% of what we post and see on social media sites is bullshit, lies, propaganda, fiction, and I can go on, but you get what I'm trying to say. That's what we're wasting our time on, instead of using that time to better ourselves, and the world around us. That's what we're filling our heads with, and even worse its what our children are filling their heads with, and we're allowing it, basically telling them that it's okay to believe everything you see on social media. It's okay to treat people the way a lot of people are treated these days on social media sites. I've heard parents try to explain to me their logic behind them thinking "social media isnt that bad for the children", And I'm overreacting, "it's really not that deep" they say to me. I'm just gonna give one example but I've heard worse then this but I heard a parent say "it's doesn't mean anything, or it's ok for lil Johnny to treat someone with evil intent, bully, or make fun of other people on social media because it's only a computer".............. If your jaw isn't already stuck wide open in shock I'll wait a little longer for that comment to sink in..........

Ok, isn't that just the dumbest, most naive thing you ever heard? What's even crazier then that is that a lot of people actually think like this. Their is another human being on another computer, phone, laptop, what ever smart device that is reading that. Someone else's daughter, or son. Please try and think about that. And definitely think about that with even more concer before whatever it is your about to post, share, or comment on because you really can't say how many people possibly are going to see it and we have to be more mindful of that. I'm gonna stop here cuz I can go on for ever on this topic, and all different directions with this. I definitely will continue to post more of my thoughts like this in the days to come. But I'm asking you to do just a couple easy things during these crazy times we ARE ALL going through.. Turn off the news, stop watching/listening to all the Coronavirus hoopla for at least a half hour. I would recommend more time but really this can help even if you do this for a half hour each day.

1st. Go on social media, and scroll down your wall and really try and pay attention to all the different posts, examine everything, the messages, the messengers, the reactions/comments, the language used, the ages of the people of some of the comments that catch your eye. Really pay attention, and do this all with an open mind and being true to yourself.

2nd. Now, ask yourself. And again really try to be honest, because your only fooling yourself in the end.. Is this something that is good for humanity? Should children be allowed to navigate on these social media sites freely and without any kind of proper training (that's a whole topic I'll get into another time), ask yourself is this really something that is helping humanity in a positive way, or is it hurting us?? Seriously, their is no right or wrong answers. This is all a matter of opinion, and who knows, (my ultimate goal) We can learn something from all this if we are true to ourselves, and respectful, and open to others opinions. Another question I almost always find myself asking when I login to my social media, Am I going to finally not see a negative, disrespectful comment or post today, because theirs never been a time when I logged on to social media sites at least for 10 mins and could say, Finally, a day where everyone was nice and respectful today. No one's feelings got hurt, and Everyone told the truth.(another goal I want to achieve).

Now this has always been on my mind. I have a lot of mixed emotions about social media, and let me say this, not everything on social media is negative. It has its moments, but let's be real. Their few and far between. Since this Virus,(I refuse to say the whole word ever again) has lead us to social distance ourselves physically from each other, and the government pretty much stopped and we were forced to stay inside. Here's another one of my wild guesses, I'm It's prolly just easier to say we have increased our social media use a lot more . So I've had a lot more time to really get to know myself, and others as well, and I'm including human beings as a whole in that. I'm guilty of this to. But we really need to take a look at how were acting, what were saying to each other, what were teaching our kids and that means what were letting them think it's okay for them to just log onto a site that you really don't know who's on the other end of one of them mean, disrespectful, or even positive comments aimed to lure them in for all the wrong reasons.

Ok ok I'm rambling.. . I think I heard this on Jerry Springer show ages ago..Lol

My Final Thought: "Be mindful of what we say on the internet, and how we say it. Pay more attention to what our kids are looking at on the net as a whole not just social sites. Let them know not everything, and everyone is truthful on there. But this most of all and why I originally started this post, WE NEED TO BE HONEST AT ALL TIMES TO OTHERS, OUR CHILDREN, but most of all, OURSELVES....

This was started mostly as a form of meditation for myself because writing is one of the few things that relaxes me. Another reason was Im always in protection mode for my daughter. And to take my mind off all the Coronavirus BS, and all while doing that I always hope I'm helping others in some way. Thank You,

D.J.

Feel free, I encourage you to comment, leave your thoughts, and share this with others please. If you wanna help others like I do then please share this, cuz that will help me to continue to write, and better myself and hopefully reach others that don't know certain things and get something from this...

[the-firebird69]

It's like blood from a stone my son says

And I agree with him this stupid truck is not even worth the waste of time to talk about it it's got no door handles on the inside you have to use door handles to open the door so I looked at and said how do you open the door if you don't have door handles figured out something and a bunch of jerks so go down there and straighten them out in this bag day and help set it up cuz it's supposed to be angry I'm going to kill them and take all their stuff and take over the Ford plant instead of genius idea because it's ours what they're doing I get real simple and inexpensive I think $20,000 is not an inexpensive but if they shave off five grand and it's cheap to them even our son looked at and said boy that's cheaper than normal it's not really he added because it's the teeny one so it's just hyperinflated truck was twice as expensive as it should be should be around 15 grand because it's a compact truck or small truck and granted they should be saying we don't want people delivering things but that's not what they're saying cuz they're a bunch of hooky assholes around saying things that people shoot them for instead

So your address to the list of things to do now already make this model but kind of helps because it's a price is lowered from theirs and it's bare Bones and that's the way we're selling them and they can add a they can add things but they have to be customs and presents like they're selling them all pair of Bones which we are it says hybrid but you don't see anything about it in the ad and hybrids cost more so the kind of full crap I can't figure out why they called and hybrid it's poor reporting

Thor Freya

It's probably more hoopla they called it hybrid or evil stuff

Zues Hera

It is so going right down the throat to grab thank them for writing it cuz it's all over the world

I'm going to straightened out dance group with a huge contingent 100 battalions

Duke Nukem Blockbuster

I match and now and he's a little inflammatory a****** that dan guy he gets everybody fights and gets everybody angry we'll see who trained him

Hera

We're matching with 100

Zues