#i'm glad people post tiktok so i never have to touch it personally

[eriexplosion]

Yesterday everyone was posting their feelings on TBB. I'm glad I waited, because there's a lot swirling around. Cut for negativity again.

I was introduced to The Bad Batch in August 2022 and fell instantly in love. The characters, the story, the complex family dynamics, they all spoke to me. I wasn't even a Star Wars fan but I went through and devoured The Clone Wars, Rebels, The Mandalorian, all of it. I threw myself into this world and adored every second of it. I must have rewatched season one over five times before season two even came out.

When season two premiered I loved it. Every Tuesday night I stayed up until the episode drop and devoured it immediately. I looked ahead at the schedule and took days off work for the double episodes, for the big Crosshair episodes - he was my favorite early on and season two only made that grow. But season two also really brought Tech into my radar even more. I had always liked him, but here he was shining. The Crossing really solidified it, as an autistic person. I'd never heard someone describe the difference in processing so succinctly before, so clearly, and it spoke to me like very little had. Here was a character that was like me. Here was a character that I needed when I was an undiagnosed child, someone that would have made me feel like I had at least some way of describing my differences.

Then, well. He died. It was an affecting scene, but it felt out of nowhere, it felt unfinished. Tech didn't even get the climax of the episode. He just fell into the clouds, the Batch grieved for a few minutes, and then the plot steamrolled right along.

I didn't believe it, not after the mad scientist presented his goggles and claimed not to salvage anything else. It seemed like such an obvious fake out. The longer I sat with it the less satisfying it felt. It felt so brushed over, so pointless, all for a mission that they accomplished nothing on. Then came the social media circus. Again and again his fall was shoved in our faces on Twitter, demanding we stream it. TikToks were made that were so out of touch they felt like parodies, the wound ripped open again and again, and I thought surely there had to be a purpose to it.

So I waited for season 3 as interviews were done that seemed to almost intentionally avoid calling him dead. As tweets were made promising we'd be so fulfilled if we could only see who was onscreen in the mid-season! (A tweet that immediately garnered dozens of people hoping it referred to Tech, all without a single comment to try and quell the speculation.) It felt already like we were being toyed with, but I thought it had to be for a reason or a purpose. More weirdly vague discussions went up about his Sacrifice, his Fall, his Anything But Death, even as everyone insists that it was so meaningful, the way he died on a mission that accomplished nothing. Jokes were made around Valentines Day.

He Fell For You, get it?

The first official use of killed went up on the databank right after the trailer, on Hunter's page of all places. The first time the interviews used dead was the Friday before the premier. It all felt too late, theories had already grown for months by that point.

Season 3 finally came and I waited up for every episode drop just like I did for season 2, hoping for him to come back or at least for him to be properly grieved, since we had barely a couple of minutes in Plan 99 before it was swept away for the next plot point. Surely Tech's impact deserved an episode of focus, if he were really gone.

The previously on plays his last words twice. But then we skip months into the future. We don't see Crosshair find out the news - even though Tech died on a mission to retrieve him. We don't watch Omega grieve. She barely seems to notice she's missing a brother. We got a brief allusion in episode two. It took three episodes to even mention his name in passing. Five episodes in everyone got their chance to look sad about him, but only for a few seconds and only when his skills were relevant. Compared to the gorgeous callback to Mayday in the same episode, it felt shallow. He had to have been more important than this didn't he?

Episodes 6 & 7 felt like maybe there was a reason. We see a new masked assassin that gets extra focus, who got put through a series of Tech-adjacent situations, whose beef with Crosshair was just a little too personal, who survived longer than all the rest but stayed masked. Rex talks about losing brothers, but Hunter says nothing about the brother they lost. I hoped it all meant something, that this was the reason that he felt so much like he was thrown away, so that he could come back in.

More one off mentions that only really come up when it's about how useful Tech would have been. More poking at the wound that still felt open and raw because we'd never gotten any closure. The closest we get is a single scene in episode eleven, so late in the season and so brief that I thought that couldn't possibly be it.

CX-2 comes back, and he talks like Tech. He's still not unmasked. I really need him to be something because otherwise what was it all for?

The most emotion comes in Juggernaut, from Phee. Its a highlight because it actually feels like it was about him, like he mattered as a person. It's episode twelve and we finally talk about him like a person. We never saw her get the news either.

Episodes thirteen and fourteen pass without any mentions at all. We're running out of time. Episode 15 hits and we get one raw one from Crosshair that Clone Force 99 died with Tech. It's the first time they directly say he's dead in so many words. It's the season finale. CX-2 is a nobody it turns out, and he dies faceless. Everyone gets a happy ending and after over a year of wondering if we'd ever get closure, it turns out Tech's just dead. But look how happy everyone else is!

Everyone gets to grow old. Except the autistic one of course. He's just dead and it hardly feels like it mattered at all. Did you know Wrecker and Hunter don't use his name once in season three? Omega and Echo mention him once each. Crosshair twice, only once with any emotion behind it. Phee tops the charts at three mentions, two by name and one by nickname. We see his goggles four times. I kept count.

There was never a bigger plan, this was just all he was worth. We spent two seasons on Crosshair's absence. We spent a whole episode dealing with it when Echo decided to go with Rex. Tech dies though and all his life amounted to was a handful of mentions when his skills would have been useful, some shots of his broken goggles, and endless cooing out of the text over how meaningful his sacrifice was. Too meaningful to take back, of course, even as Ventress is brought back from her own sacrifice.

I had really, really thought that this time autistic life would be worth more than autistic death. That a character that felt so carefully handled couldn't have just been thrown away for shock value, barely to even be mentioned again, his memory used to string us along to keep us watching. If you added up every mention and shot through season 3 it might actually clock in at less time than was spent on Mayday's send off.

I'm an adult. I'll survive, though the sting of seeing yet another character like me used as a stepping stone for everyone else's happy ending will take a while to fade. But I think about the child I used to be who needed a character like Tech. And I think about how it would have felt to actually get that only to watch him die a handful of episodes later as a side note to his family's story, barely even mentioned again. How badly it would have hurt, how deep it would have scarred.

I'm not that child anymore. But there are a lot of autistic kids out there that are the same as I used to be, and they're learning for the first time that people like us don't get happy endings. Instead they die so that everyone around them can rise up, and they might even get mentioned a few times. But don't worry. Everyone will tell you how meaningful and special it is and how delusional you were to ever hope for anything else.

The Bad Batch still means a lot to me. I think it always will. I love the characters. I love the family, and all the potential they had. But the sting of not belonging in this happy ending is there, and it's deep. It's been a long time since I trusted a show. It'll be a long time before I risk trusting another. And I hope that the autistic kids trying to learn how to close their hearts off behind new walls are doing okay.

[ben-marco]

This is such a weird area for me to be in... I stepped away from RAMCOA spaces for some time due to life circumstances. I was glad for stuff like the discord server I got into originally with legion as it's been a place that I actually feel safe taking about my trauma in but a lot of the shit coming out about Legion has soured me to all of this. I did find out stuff about my own trauma, stuff I know is true and have worked through in therapy.

Seeing people talk about worries people were pushing them into thinking they'd been around others or had experienced traumas they didn't makes me worried we may have in part made people feel that way. Anyone who was in a specific area when we were we wanted to know if they saw us because we were so desperate to find others to tell us we were right. And we did eventually actually find someone we had known off and on, but really it was dumb luck- and beyond that incredibly reckless and dangerous. I don't blame any of the people there currently but for a period of time there was just.... sort of a culture around trying to find others and spending a lot of time and energy on that which I understand but should have also been stopped sooner than it was.

I just feel so weird about everything coming out and how things are going I don't know how to feel and I just... idk it's weird. It makes me second guess myself more even when I know that what I did experience in my own case was true. Legion never had any say on my traumas either, because I never was involved in anything she was. But it still makes me worried. It's basically just... anytime conspiracy theorists end up damaging the perception of RAMCOA survivors it further makes me shut down and question myself even when I'm working on starting a legal case. I also now have a large amount of anxiety and paranoia around the idea that it may be possible that Legion could have taken some of our vents since we had been off of tiktok so long we would have never noticed them claiming our life story as their own. And that somehow makes me feel the worst out of all of this.

Hi anon,

I've gone through something similar-- questioning my memories and history after being around someone particularly unsavory -- and I hate that you're going through it too with Legion.

What helped me the most was getting away from social media spaces focused on RAMCOA/OEA/OSDDID, which it sounds like you've already done. I needed some time to myself to truly untangle what was mine and what was not, to get back in touch with my own system and my own experiences without input from others. It was difficult but worth it. And it's good to hear that you were able to work some of this out in therapy!

I think another thing to remember is that echo chambers...are echo chambers. It's really, really easy to get into the rhythm of these spaces and it just becomes this cycle of people convincing each other of things. I think it says enough that you're aware of / wondering about whether you may have pushed someone into thinking a certain way. At least with the way you've written this ask, you don't sound like someone who would have done that intentionally. You sound like someone who got caught up in an echo chamber during a vulnerable time in your life.

As for being worried about Legion having potentially co-opted your vents or your story...I'm afraid there's nothing anyone would be able to do about this and I know, for me, it wouldn't be helpful to worry about whether or not I had missed a TikTok post where they had claimed part of my story or co-opted one of my vents. Sure, you can take it upon yourself to look through all their posts, but they've also deleted so many of them over time, and had other accounts...not sure how helpful or healthy it would be to spend a lot of time thinking about that, although it's understandable that it would be concerning.

I told another anon that their trauma is theirs no matter whether or not Legion is a bad person. Your trauma is yours regardless of whether or not Legion has tried to co-opt it somewhere.

[pholiabanna]

Sloppy seconds byler aren’t endgame angels with a nightmare is a fool a 25+ year old women with fantasies about teen boys being gay how’s that any different to men’s fantasies about lesbians?

Y’all are so caught up in you’re echo chambers you can’t see it and it’s gonna crash and burn so badly it’s not the byler show either it’s stranger things

Omg I feel so honored to get my first real hate ask!

There's so many things to unpack here, so I think Im gonna go one by one.

First of all, I assume you either ship Mleven or at least you despise byler, but my last post was only tagged as byler so there was no reason for you to see it unless you were stalking the byler tag, which in that case I'm glad you're such a dedicated fan!

Second of all, I'm assuming you're the same anon who has been sending around other anon asks the past couple of weeks always mentioned the words "sloppy seconds". Now, I know nothing about you or about your life enough to tell you what you should or shouldn't do, but I think I'd should let you know how disgusting of a term that is, and what it implies. I'm assuming if you like Mileleven you like Mike too, since he's one half of the ship. That's why it's shocking to me how you seem so adamant of thinking of him as nothing but El's leftovers, as if he wasn't his own person with his self worth! Also, someone's worth doesn't lessen just because they've already been kissed or touched by someone else. That's a sad outlook on life, and I'm not telling you to be mean, but because I think you'll live happier if you leave such toxic mentalities behind. They really do no good to someone's self esteem.

About the women fantasies about gay men, please notice how most people in this tag are underage people of all genders. This is not a sexual fantasy, as these characters aren't even portrayed sexually in the show to begin with. This is people who want to see good stories about themselves being written, and I think that's a really valid thing to wish for. Even if you've seen a couple weirdos out there on the internet, that's not the case for almost the whole of the fanbase. There's creepy people everywhere in every fandom. Also may I add that if you prefer Mike and El (which is completely valid if you do, you're allowed to have your preferences!) they are the same age as Mike and Will. Wouldn't you be predatory as well if you ship them? No you wouldn't, because they're kids and their relationship has never been sexual. Just like with Will and Mike. Assuming that every gay romance is automatically sexual is a very homophobic mindset ingrained in our society. If you really see gay people this way, probably you've been conditioned by society to do so, in that case it's not your fault but it's never too late to educate yourself. You'll be happier, seriously.

Finally, I wouldn't say an echo chamber is a ship community that has more Billions of wievs on TikTok that the other ship and surpasses it on every other platform, and that has general audience filmmakers and professional writers say themselves that they also understand how it's set up to happen in the final season. But again, it is not my job to convince you and you're not forced to change your mind. We will all have to wait until the final season to see who was actually right, only the Duffer brothers know what will happen.

Finally, Stranger Things is obviously not the byler show. However, one of the most important rules of storytelling is writing personal arcs and relationships for the characters to serve as subplots to the main story, so that the characters become full fleshed and realistic. The fact that you can relate to fictional characters, even though you've probably never time travelled done magic, lived in a post apocalyptic time or wathever you wanna imagine, is because you relate to their personal stories. A story isn't good without personal arcs, every professional writer you ask will tell you this. So yes, relationships are an episode aspect of stranger things that people can discuss if they want to. And the byler tag, or any other ship tags exists precisely to focus on those relationships. It doesn't mean that people don't like any other aspects of the show.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed my little rant anon. I wish you have a great day!

[shealwaysreads]

I posted 2,193 times in 2022

43 posts created (2%)

2,150 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sitp-recs

@fraddit

@the-starryknight

@hale-of-stiles-heart

@bluebutter-art

I tagged 2,184 of my posts in 2022

#hp - 707 posts

#drarry - 540 posts

#things to read - 282 posts

#art - 242 posts

#drarry fanart - 239 posts

#drarry fic rec - 164 posts

#gorgeous - 122 posts

#captive prince - 83 posts

#poetry and prose - 83 posts

#the writing life - 78 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#the softness this has? the moment of connection and the way they’re resting against each other (trusting and touching!!!!) my heart cant ta

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Righteous

Harry was the one who decided the law wasn’t for him. Not enforcing it and not following it either. 

Draco didn’t mind. Liked it in fact: the wildness, the risk. He liked the waiting and the planning, and he liked the aftermath. Adrenaline-fuelled and animal close. Fierce and blood-stained. Together.

Inspired by @drarrymicrofic’s prompt ‘criminal’

Read all of my microfics here

for @the-starryknight for being so wonderful ✨

112 notes - Posted August 3, 2022

#4

This is a thought that popped up while I was waxing lyrical in tags, but I didn’t want to lose it so here it is again.

Sometimes it strikes me how incredible fic recs are, and what a wonderful insight they give us into the person recommending the story (or list of stories) whether it’s someone reblogging a creator’s post with tags or commentary, or if it’s a special post they’ve made to rec a fic.

There are people I’ve never met whose recs give me this wonderful way of knowing them; of finding out what makes their heart clench, their eyes tear up, their smile to grow.

Recs are an amazing way of finding new things to read, but they are also a remarkable way of getting to know people in such an intimate way through the stories they hold close ❤️

182 notes - Posted January 18, 2022

#3

Helping hands

Sometimes Harry can’t get out of bed. Can’t brush his teeth. Can’t quite bear the weight still pressing down—interminable—on his shoulders.

The world is heavy.

Those days Draco casts gentle cleansing charms. Rests warm hands on Harry’s neck. He ties Harry’s shoelaces for him.

It’s a tender service—unexpected—not-light, but buoyant.

Inspired by @drarrymicrofic’s prompt ‘shoelaces’

Read all of my microfics here

251 notes - Posted August 12, 2022

#2

This is gonna be really random but I am so delighted that you have 30s in your bio. I'm 23 and at that point in my life where I'm entering adulthood and I've thought of my involvement in fandom and how that would change as I journeyed further into adulthood. And most of the time, especially on new platforms like tiktok, it's mostly younger people who are making fan content so it's amazing to see people actively enjoy fandom content as they become full adults. It's very freeing 💜

This was such a lovely ask to receive, I’m so touched and so glad that you reached out! You’ve tapped into a subject I have a Lot of Feelings about, so forgive the incoming ramble ❤️

I have had friends of all ages in fandom over the years, and those friendships have been more important than perhaps I gave them credit for at the time. I’ve been fandom-ing since I was about 14 and its been a hobby that’s brought me huge joy and allowed me to get to know so many lovely humans. They’ve modelled ways of living that I didn’t know about, have generously shared their time and knowledge and expertise and experience, and have been examples of preserving one’s joy amidst the reality of growing up and of living in an adult landscape that can become barren if you don’t intentionally enshrine what’s important to you. (The actual you, the one that lives in your heart.)

The narrative of ‘you’ll grow out of this’ or of setting aside your pleasures as you become an Adult™️ is incredibly pervasive and incredibly damaging. There is even more pressure on young women in particular, and I’ve seen so many instances of ‘oh my god you’re 30 why are you reading fanfic, shouldn’t you be married/mothering/doing your taxes?’ 

It’s easy to get tricked into believing these social strictures are rules that really mean something, but reducing yourself to something prescribed by….who, exactly? (The people and structures that are interested in keeping us small, and bored, and tired, and empty-hearted, and too worn out to argue when they want to take more of our money and eat into more of our precious time here on this precious planet with all of these precious people) It’s a losing game! How much do you think you would need to give up to please the anonymous Life Police who are apparently out to make sure we’re all living the most stripped-back life we can?

If something makes you happy, if it gives you pleasure or comfort or inspiration, then it has a meaningful place in your life. This isn’t hedonism, it is a fundamental basis for a life worth living. 

Fandom is fundamentally about fun—it’s a small word for a big phenomenon, full of community, and friendship, and connection. It’s a folk-space where there is room for everyone, where you can explore the subversive and the comforting all in one blog. It’s where all of us can contribute—making art of all kinds, celebrating each other, inspiring each other, debating each other, stepping out of our daily lives to indulge in the essential, essential, work of imagination and creativity and enjoyment.

Play doesn’t stop being important when you stop being a child, or a teen. We’re human: telling tales and making marks, and sitting together around the fire enjoying it all is in our DNA. Fandom is just another circle of humans joining together to listen to stories and be together.

So. Enjoy being 23, but don’t fear 33, or 53, or 73!

You’ll be yourself; wiser and older, and more well-lived, but you’ll still be yourself. You’ll still laugh, with love, at your childhood and teenage embarrassing moments.

You’ll still remember when that actor did that movie, in that outfit.

You’ll have playlists full of music that brings back summers and parties and heartbreaks, and you’ll still know every lyric of all of those songs.

You’ll have new hobbies, and you’ll have your old hobbies, and maybe you’ll leave them for years at a time but you’ll come back to them unexpectedly and joyfully.

You don’t have to give anything up, not if it still makes you happy!

❤️

260 notes - Posted July 9, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Flushed

Draco used to be pale.

Before summer’s heat cracked them all open next to the lake.

Before angry words then quiet ones.

Before firewhiskey-loose tongues.

Before laughter, unbelievable laughter.

Before banked embers and heat low in the belly.

Before flushed cheeks, sun-wrought freckles, lips kissed pink, mouth-shaped bruises.

Before Harry.

Inspired by @drarrymicrofic’s prompt ‘pale’

Read all of my microfics here

To @sweet-s0rr0w @the-starryknight @tackytigerfic @maesterchill you all have my entire heart for reminding me I’m still a writer ❤️

303 notes - Posted July 26, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[invisiblerambler]

APPARENTLY WE CANT DO JOKES ANYMORE

I am joking but also unfortunately serious because now I am having to defend posting political memes.

Thank fuck people on tiktok have echoed what I have been feeling because I felt fucking crazy for weeks.

I don't get to feel proud of where I came from because frankly all it did was traumatize me but having a politician elevated to the national stage from the Midwest with good politics? Real left leaning politics having made actual state wide change? let me feel proud for even a minute. I am complex enough to elevate someone's accomplishments and leave room for criticism.

I am glad that you are able to we the world in a black and white way that I don't. You have never lived in the gray or associated with people who have required that nuance of you. It must be easier. I wish I understood.

Like if you're mad I'm not posting about something just say it but I don't feel like contributing to the echo chamber. I do not want to position myself as an authority on anything.

I mostly come on IG to post my silly haha and go. I am not an influencer I am not trying to be an influencer my empathy is not measured by my virtue signaling.

I love the person that is frankly harassing me about this but it's frustrating and unwarranted. To assume an ig story encompasses my entire feelings and opinions is frankly a sign to log off and touch grass.

I am glad the world she lives in is so easily solved. I don't live in that world. I never got the chance.

[olderthannetfic]

Jesus Fucking Christ. I *wish* folks stopped ""criticizing"" AO3 if they *do not* understand it is an archive and not a fucking social media like Wattpad. I just encountered a post (not on Tumblr) where someone stated their frustration about how recent fandoms are just a bunch of conformists and take Wattpad for granted, thinking that Wattpad (as the corporation that is) *care* about fanfic authors. I did agree with OP, because OP didn't just mentioned AO3 as a safe and better place for fanfic authors, but other indie/specific archives. The thing is, when you have *better* places for your thing why the fuck do you stay on a awful designed site as Wattpad?

Well, a lot of folks took that *really* personal and started "criticizing" AO3 with stupid shit as:

"I don't know if people follow me!" Isn't that fucking better, actually? You *care* too much about followers and you think that "followers = quality". Depending on followers to value your work is *unhealthy* as fuck.

"I can't comment per paragraph/I don't like how people on AO3 don't comment at all". See point 1 but also like, if you want that constant feedback, that's okay. Stay on Wattpad (don't cry if your account or you fanfics get massive flagged and Wattpad doesn't say you shit about why they deleted your works tho [that still happens, *a lot]), but on AO3 is *not* necessary. Also I bet you don't even comment on fanfics. The most annoying people that cry "readers that don't comment are bad!!!" tend to be huge hypocrites.

"I don't know if people still read my fanfic because they can't 'vote' every chapter!" See point 1 again. Seriously folks, stop undervaluing your works. Quantity doesn't mean quality. And if y'all care that much about statics to the point of getting anxious and depressed and demotivated, you can hide the statics on AO3. I *hate* how social media has raised the young.

"AO3 isn't intuitive! I don't understand shit!" Why y'all *love* showing your learned incompetence? Search tutorials! They're *everywhere*. On TikTok, on Tumblr, on Twitter, on Facebook, on YouTube. Y'all just fucking lazy and proud of it. Sad, actually. Also, it shows that y'all never saw a digital library. Also sad.

"AO3 will turn toxic if people start massive joining". Darling, sweetheart, dear: 1. That 'massive joining' happened already, on 2020 and is still happening; 2. This is not Wattpad. Wattpad feels toxic because is like a social media, is like Twitter; it has all the features that annoying people love to use to harass other people. AO3 doesn't and thank God for that.

Then, besides of all that crap someone commented this and I still can't stop laughing: "AO3 is starting to be the site of the 'Not Like Other Girls', I'm so tired". Bitch, what the fuck do you mean by that, LOL? Then that commenter proceeded to moan about how people don't read their fic (oh okay you're just salty, LMAO.)

Anyway, listen. If you needs are covered by Wattpad's awful design, that's okay. Every fandom have different needs. That's why independent archives exists! But for the love of God stop "criticizing" AO3 "because it lacks important aspects" when that aspects *aren't* necessary for an *archive*. AO3 wasn't born nor is it nor will be a social media site, and I'm fucking glad. Also, go to a library. Seriously, touch real books. Smell them if y'all can too.

--

[mintedwitcher]

Okay so this is gonna be a long post, talking about menstruation and menstrual products. If those are uncomfortable topics for you, I suggest scrolling past.

Why are some cis women so fucking feral about period products?

No seriously, answer this. I saw a video on tiktok of this cis guy learning about toxic shock syndrome for the first time, very funny reaction, but that's not the feral part. The feral part is the number of cis women in the comments screeching about how TSS is why they'll never use tampons and only ever use cups, and so on.

And like yeah, cool, use what's comfortable for you! Great work! But these women were also blatantly harassing tampon users in the comments, pushing that the cups were better, etc, basically just going on and on about it.

So on one comment about how all women should use cups and there's never any reason to use tampons, I replied with: "1, cups are expensive. 2, not everyone can use them. 3, personally the mess? no thanks."

Simple enough right? So tell me why I have HOARDS of cis women replying with shit like "its not even expensive/messy!" or "but tampons can kill you!" or "you just have to TRY it and get used to it!" or even "lol everyone CAN use them! just try it!"

Like... no. One single brand-name cup in Australia is $30 on sale. My preferred box of tampons? $5 full price. I get 16 tampons in a box, that's roughly how many I go through on an average period. That's $5 a month, compared to at sale price $60 (because if you think I'm only buying one and then just free bleeding while I empty/wash the one I just used, you're dead wrong) for what, a year? Two? It's just not worth it to me. The upkeep of a cup is just not worth the cost in my opinion.

The cost alone aside, I cannot handle mess. I take my tampons out with a wet wipe for fucks sake, I cannot touch it. Insertion is already gross enough because Australia doesn't use or sell applicators. You think I'm going to go full claw machine up there to haul out a cup full of blood and tissue? A cup that has a strong chance of either spilling or splattering? No fucking thank you! I don't even use pads anymore because of the mess factor.

And all of this is ignoring my heightened dysphoria during periods that makes dealing with any of that a fucking nightmare, as well as the physical constraints of my anatomy that already restricts what kind of tampons I can use comfortably.

Also veering away from my own personal reasoning, there are people with vaginal conditions like vaginismus who already can't use tampons, yet these women in that comment section expect that they can use cups? Which are admittedly larger and wider than any tampons? Because "everyone can use them!"? Are you joking?

Why do you even care? How is this affecting you at all? Why are you acting like you're somehow the Superior Woman because you can use a cup? Like if it works for you, and you're comfortable, and you like it? That's great, I'm glad you have it! But your experiences and your opinions are not and should not be the universal rule. I do not like cups, I will not use cups. I prefer tampons. There are people who prefer to use pads, period undies, reusable cloth pads, etc.

(Side note, I find it extremely funny that this level of hostility is never shown to pad users, or to people who use alternative external methods like reusable cloth pads or period undies. It's only ever tampon users who get this level of criticism.)

Anyway back to the point. Why does it matter so much to some of you? I don't care what you use, why do you care what I use? All I wanted to do was give a few reasons as to why some people genuinely can't use cups, and I'm being dogpiled for it.

[wondereads]

Personal Review (08/29/21)

Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon

Why am I reviewing this book?

I've heard so many good things about this book that I had to set aside time to read it despite it being the size of a grown cat. I'd say it lived up to my expectations.

Want something short and sweet? Check out my tiktok

Plot 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Told from four perspectives, humanity lives in constant fear of the Nameless One, a huge, vicious dragon, and his servants, the wyrms. Everyone dreads the day he might return, but it might be closer than they think. In Inys, Ead uses her forbidden magic to protect Queen Sabran whose bloodline is believed to hold the Nameless One at bay. Sabran's friend Loth is sent to investigate the now wyrm-controlled Ysaclin. In Seiiki, Tane is close to achieving her dream of becoming a rider of one of the benevolent eastern dragons, but she and disgraced alchemist Niclays Roos are caught up with an illegal outsider.

There's so much going on in this story that it's no wonder it takes over 800 pages to tell. You'd think a book that long would drag on, but there's always something going on. Even at the beginning when high fantasy books are usually a bit slow due to worldbuilding, this book jumps right in with assassination attempts, illegal, possibly plague-ridden outsiders, and infiltration of a country controlled by pure evil.

I can only imagine how long it took to plan this book because everything fits together so well. I feel like if I reread it I'd be catching hints everywhere, which is how it should be! There's so much more I'd love to talk about, but I'll stop here for the sake of spoilers.

Characters 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

When I said everything fits together so well, that applied to the characters too. I felt like there were almost no unimportant characters. While the main characters and important supporting characters were all very well developed, even characters like Tane's classmates and Inys servants are brought back at some point. It's a touch of realism; just because there are bigger things going on doesn't mean those relationships have ceased to exist.

My personal favorite narrator was Ead, and Tane was a close second. To be completely honest, I was simping for Ead that entire book. A magical, protective, attractive, understanding bodyguard? Sign me up. On the other hand, I related to Tane more since she had a clear goal and was closer to me in age.

I just think the characters were very well written, and practically everyone got some sort of development or personality or something.

Writing Style 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

For such a long book, the pacing is impeccable. There's always something happening, there's always a new revelation, there's always problems arising or solutions being found. I think the uncertainty about the Nameless One's return really helped there.

I really liked how Shannon wrote emotions. For example, when it comes to Niclays' grief, it was almost palpable how much pain he was in.

Unfortunately, this category contains my only gripe. I know Shannon had her reasons for making this all one book rather than a duology or trilogy, I know. Still, there were some times when I had to force myself to continue because the book was taking so long to finish. I'm glad I read it over vacation so I couldn't just put it aside and promise to finish it later (when we all know I wouldn't). Other than that, though, I am absolutely complaint-free.

Meaning 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

There's a lot of commentary on religion and how organized religion can grow out of control and gradually be corrupted, which is best shown through Crest. Most of the divides between West and East and West and South are because of conflicting religious ideals. Something I liked was that none of those religions was portrayed as the "wrong" one when it came to their followers beliefs. Even if certain religions weren't based on credible information, the followers are never villainized for that. This book makes it very clear that religion is only "bad" when it is used to hurt and divide, and I think that's a rather unique take on the issue when so much fiction these days equates religion and evil.

Overall 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I'm so glad I took the time to read this book, even though it took me like a week. I was really engaged the whole time even if it gave me so much anxiety. It's very diverse with multiple POC and LGBT characters. Also, I'm just a sucker for dragons; I'd die to ride Nayimathun. I would recommend this book for people who enjoy epic high fantasy, deep relationships, and satisfying standalones.

The Author

Samantha Shannon: 29, British, also wrote The Bone Season

The Reviewer

My name is Wonderose; I try to post a review every two weeks, and I take recommendations. Check out my about me post for more!

[sideofmango]

AAAA IM SO GLAD I FOUND ANOTHER POC CREATER!! I read one of your imagines and I'm in love skcnsn- Now. For my ask- Can i have Iida or Baku x a chubby mixed girl 👉🏽👈🏽 Which ever you like writing for the most hun! I don't care if its sfe or nsfw- I just want my men 🙄🤚🏽 thank youuuu! 😚🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

“A Mini Tenya!”

Soooo I decided to write this because Iida would literally be the best dad and omg the thought of Iida taking care of a child literally makes my heart gush.

Pairing: aged up! Iida x black!fem! Reader Pronouns: she/her Warnings: cursing (bc of boom boom boy), fluff

ALSO...

Thank you so much for requesting and for the sweet message! It means a lot 😊 also I decided to write for iida bc I haven’t written for him much, hope that’s okay!

I also want to take a small amount of time to address a few things that I’ve been seeing recently on a few posts and on tiktok. Apparently some people are trying to say that Iida and Bakugou wouldn’t have a poc (more specifically black s/o) and that they would say the n word. Bruh...what the hell? Lmaoo. So to those people who think that, y’all can fight me bc they aren’t insensitive boys and they definitely would have a black girl/boy/enby s/o bc i say so and they just have that EnErGy. DO NOT RUIN COMFORT CHARACTERS FOR PEOPLE PLEASE. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk....

CHILE ANYWAYS....on with it

Tenya sat on the large grey couch in the living room of your new home. The television was turned on to the news station, the volume down to almost silent as he looked from the television screen where a story about Midoriya was playing down to the small white blanket that sat in his arms. Tenya smiled, carefully running a finger over one of the baby’s soft tan chubby cheeks as the little one let out a small gurgle, moving closer to his father’s touch. His usually serious gaze then turned to look at you, as you snuggled into his side the both of you watching your tiny baby sleep. You were in one of Tenya’s large sweatshirts and a pair of sweatpants, the warmth and the faint smell of his cologne were comforting. 

It had been two weeks since you had given birth to your baby, a son you decided to name Tenzen. When you had told your husband that you wanted to use the first syllable of his name for your son’s, he almost started crying out of pride. And now he couldn’t wait to show you both off to his friends, unbelievably proud of you for your strength and for bringing your son into the world. The small baby began growing fussy, opening his eyes to reveal dark blueish grey eyes, just like his father’s. “Don’t cry Tenzen-kun. What’s wrong?” Iida asked softly, his eyes quickly searching over the baby to analyze the problem. “Are you hungry?”

“He can’t be yet, he ate like 15 minutes ago.” You added, “maybe he needs to be changed?” Tenya lifted the small baby, his face quickly morphing into a frown. 

“He needs to be changed.” Iida agreed. “I’ll take care of it.” You let out a sigh, even though it had been two weeks, your body was still tired and you couldn’t help but love how hands on your husband was because it gave you time to rest. 

“I’m going to jump in the shower.” You said, passing the nursery on your way to your master bedroom to freshen up before your friends came over. After your shower, you pulled on a simple long sleeve t-shirt and a pair of leggings stopping to look at yourself in the mirror. 

Your body had changed some since you had been a student at UA and even since before you had had your son. Though you had never been a stick, at least that’s what Tenya called it, you hadn’t really been self conscious about it until now. Though Tenya constantly told you that you were beautiful and he didn’t want a twig for a wife. Sometimes he would absentmindedly trace your stretch marks as if they were tattoos, telling you that he loved each and every single of them because they made you you. You stepped away from the mirror, reminding yourself that you were a BEAUTIFUL STRONG BLACK WOMAN and a queen and anyone who said otherwise was stupid as fuck,  before returning back to the living room. 

“I hope you continue to be a good boy for your mother. She’s an amazing woman, you know. She’s one of the kindest and strongest people I know, you and I both got very lucky and she’s obviously the most beautiful woman, I’ve ever met. I hope your personality is like hers.” You stopped in the hallway, hearing Tenya talk to your son. “Anyways, a lot of people are very excited to meet you, Tenzen, that’s why I put you in your favorite outfit.” He said. You knew that the supposed ‘favorite outfit’ was actually a black baby onesie with a cartoon Ingenium on the front, you had gotten it as a joke...apparently not so much of a joke anymore.  You walked into the room from your spot in the hallway as the doorbell rang, Iida handing you your son who made little gurgling and cooing noises as he latched onto one of your fingers with one of his tiny hands. 

“Tenya! (y/n)! You had the baby!” Mina rushed in excitedly, Bakugou, Denki, Kirishima, Midoriya, Todoroki, Tsuyu, and Uraraka walked in afterwards, Jirou being out of town visiting some relatives. After you had transferred to UA in 2nd year, you had been accepted into the Bakusquad while he had been in the Dekusquad. 

“Hey Mina.” You smiled widely, happy to see your friends as Tenzen started to grow fussy at the loud noise, standing up to hug one of your best friends as the baby gave her a judgemental stare. 

“He’s so cute!” Uraraka, Mina, and Tsuyu cooed as they gathered around, eager to watch the little baby in your arms. 

“Do you want to hold him?” You asked as they all nodded quickly. You laughed, passing Tenzen to Mina as everyone sat around the room, talking and laughing. 

“He doesn’t even look like you, Dumbass.” Bakugou remarked, holding the little boy, hiding his smile as your son grabbed his finger. “Tch, he’s cute or whatever.” Bakugou admitted before passing him to Kirishima and Denki, a proud smile on both you and Tenya’s faces. 

Bakugou hadn’t been wrong. Your son had gotten most of his looks from his father, sharing the same eye color and shape and same smile among other things. While he had gotten his lips and hair type from you. His skin  tone was a shade or two lighter than yours and his hair was one shade of blue lighter than his father’s.

“He obviously likes me the most. I’m his favorite uncle, I already know it.” Kirishima beamed watching as the little baby seemed to smile up at him. 

“That’s fucking dumb and you know it, Shitty hair. It’s obvious it isn’t any of you.” Bakugou replied, rolling his crimson eyes and eyeing the baby. He didn’t mind holding your son, Hope he isn’t as much of a narc as his dad. Bakugou thought.

“Watch your language in front of my son!” Iida scolded, shooting an icy glare at the hothead who simply tched. 

You laughed observing everyone from where you sat, happy that your best friends had met your little boy and he hadn’t peed or thrown up on them...yet.

Tags:

[tangledinmdzs]

Hiya! I'm not sure if your taking requests, but can I request the LXC or poly WangXian (whichever you want^^) with a cosplayer s/o? Like one day they need something and walk in to them in full costume making tiktoks, then find out their job is a social media influencer? Thank you sm!!

Your blog is so addictive ngl💕💕

hehe, i’m so glad you’re enjoying my little posts, thank you for reading!  the funny thing is i just watched a movie yesterday with a plot that’s kind of like this; it was hilarious and i loved it a lot. let me give a go at writing, (☆▽☆)

here’s to your request~

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

it sounds like a song, maybe even a vocal exercise of some sort

honestly, Wei Ying doesn’t know

behind him, Lan Zhan closes the door, steps in

they both share a look

your small apartment was quiet except for the muffled sounds coming from your closed bedroom a little bit farther away

“you think y/n’s okay?” Wei Ying asks his companion and Lan Zhan does a funny little shoulder shrug as they both take off their shoes and walk deeper into your apartment

they get to your bedroom and open the door without knocking

honestly,

Wei Ying doesn’t know what he was expecting

maybe you playing on your keyboard or something

Lan Zhan peeks in over his shorter partner’s head

and they both, 

well,

they’re both kinda shooked

you’re in a full costume of sorts, with hair that’s a completely different color from your natural color, bright blue color contact eyes

and also

your voice

“oooh kayyy; and that’s how you do it! let me know if you need me to go through the parts again”

Wei Ying and Lan Zhan both stand at the door way, gaping at you as you lean closer to your phone screen to read the comments popping up

“who’s the two people by your doorway...” you mumble as your read the comment out loud and turn around just to yelp at the intruders watching you work

Wei Ying has the audacity to send an awkward wave at you

you want to yell, or say something else

but you’re quick to get back in character,

cause you’ve been doing this for a while now

it’s just your first time being interrupted like this

“wellll, my lovely friends, i think it’s time to end our little session for today! but tune in next week for another dance tutorial and a q&a with me to know all about my new costume!! sweet dreams angels!”

you quickly end your livestream and turn around to the two people still gaping at you from the door way

“don’t you guys ever knock!” 

and well, at least your voice was normal again

“what are you doing??” Wei Ying asks curiously, the questions tumbling out of his mouth as he comes into your room and sees your whole set up

the tripod stand, the lights

god, they were bright

“well, i run a small channel and people wanted to know how i made this,” you explain, incredibly brief, and the two boys in front of you look down at your frilly dress

“you made that?” both Wei Ying and Lan Zhan question, cutely, at the same time

“yeah, the stores don’t have it the way that i like, so i thought it’d be easier to just make it myself...” 

you’re suddenly bombarded by Wei Ying’s gushing and oohs

“wowowow, i never thought that i’d have such a talented girlfriend!” 

you laugh as Wei Ying touches the fabric of your dress, playing around with the frills

and your smile grows wider when Lan Zhan comes up to you and places a gentle hand on your head

“your eyes are cool when they’re opal, but i miss your (e/c) eyes.” Lan Zhan tells you when you look up to him

you smile, huffing out a little breath of air

“it’s just for the internet persona,” you reassure him, and he smiles down at you

your attention is back on the other person when you feel your dress being pressed

“alright, stop touching it you’re going to wrinkle the little ruffles,”

“but they’re so soft!”

“Wei Ying!”

[1989xtaylorsversion]

nessa barrett's ep may surprise you (my album review)

so, nessa barrett released her debut ep... a while ago, but better late than never.

i really didn't know what to expect with this ep because tiktokers and music don't tend to mix. some influencers have done such a solid job of turning the music industry into a joke, so everyone was justifiably apprehensive.

also, when nessa was in a storm of controversy i vaguely remember her posting about how everyone would know her side of the story when she released her music. (see pic below)

well, we got the ep, but i'm not sure what "truth" she was trying to unleash. i learned nothing new about her. of course, we got a glimpse into her mental health, and that's important, but i thought she was gonna expose her little tiktok enemies or whatever. her and jaden were in a huge scandal with josh and mads, and i thought the ep would at least give a little mention of that. she vaguely and indirectly points a finger at the people who have wronged her, but i, as the listener, have learned nothing new. she should really take notes from taylor swift, the queen of lyrical shading. regardless, i put aside my feelings for nessa and her scandals and gave it a listen. spoiler alert - i didn't hate it. i actually enjoyed some of the songs. lemme explain...

1. pretty poison

sooo, the title track...

it's alright. it's definitely not my favorite and in my opinion, it's a grower. i had to listen to it a few times to tolerate it, and i've never voluntarily gone back and listened to it. honestly, i don't even remember what it sounds like, so i had to hear it again for the purpose of this post. it didn't make for the strongest start to the ep for these reasons, so i was scared to keep going. luckily, the rest weren't like this.

2. keep me afraid

i actually like this song... now.

once again, i didn't really love it at first, but i've grown to like it. it's catchy and i like the beat and its message.

3. i hope ur miserable until ur dead

remember when this song went viral on tiktok? more specifically, when the second verse went viral?

that's where i first heard it. i love this song lol. it's so petty, vengeful, and fun. it picks up after the second verse and it just keeps going. i'd love to know who it's about though, especially the second verse. tell us, nessa...

i love the last chorus because it's so catchy. good job, nessa. you made a bop.

4. grave

i first heard this song on tiktok too, and i really like it. it's sweet, and i think i read that this is her first love song. you can definitely apply it to anyone significant in your life, not just a boyfriend/girlfriend. it's my top 3 for sure.

5. scare myself

i had to listen to this a few times to like it, and i do now. i don't regularly listen to it, but i definitely changed my opinion from the first time i heard it. it's a relatable song, so she gets point for that.

6. i wanna die

i've listened to this song a few times and i literally can't remember how it goes. i had to hear it again in order to write the review, and i understand why it's so forgettable. in my opinion, it's not the most special song on the ep, so it kind of goes to the back of my brain. the chorus is kind of catchy, but it's still not enough to save it. maybe one day i'll like it, but for now it's a skip.

7. sincerely

this is a cute song. it's a nice way to end the ep, and i'm glad she's in a good place. regardless of how you feel about her, you shouldn't wish bad things on someone, so if she managed to find peace and solace, then good for her. i like the references to her previous songs in the first three lines. i love when artists do that; i think it's so clever. also, the voicemail from her mom at the end was a nice touch. i love when artists put voicemails or other personal touches to their songs because it just makes it more special. ariana grande does that a lot.

overall thoughts:

i think nessa's voice is actually really beautiful. i like her soft and peaceful voice. she isn't a bad singer by any means, and i think she can go far. just avoid scandals and bad decision making lol.

although the ep has some low points, i was pleasantly surprised with the end result. i think she made a solid effort, and it payed off well for her. since this is her first attempt, she has plenty of time to improve, and i'm sure she will. i don't know how other people feel about the ep, but i liked it. it's a win for tiktokers, i guess.

my rating: 7/10

the weakest songs: pretty poison, i wanna die, sincerely (it's cute, but it's like one minute. i can see why she chose this as the last track, but i never listen to it. good for her, though)

the strongest songs: keep me afraid, ihymuyd, grave, scare myself... so basically every other song.