#i'm getting tired so just writing short notes in my drafts that i probably post longer versions of tomorrow lmao

[tamsiblings]

she's sooo fucking pretty

[anarcho-masochist]

r u okay? it's been 2 weeks since you've posted

Oh, sorry for not responding, and thank you for checking in.

I didn't see this until now since we were logged into other headmates' blogs on all our devices and browsers and I wasn't really around enough to justify logging into mine.

[Warning, feeling like rambling]

To be honest, when I have been around and thinking of Tumblr, I've been kind of dissatisfied with this blog, mostly because I've been too tired to research and draft up the posts I want to. We've been stuck without our meds due to the dumpster fire that is the US healthcare system. I've got them now, and have some more time (sort of), so I might be on here more, but I've been terribly inconsistent with that so don't be surprised if I go quiet again.

Think about it. What does an hour on here get me versus an hour of monologuing to myself?

Monologuing: depth of contemplation, no expectations of completeness of thought so I can create an open dialogue with myself. Can think of things to research later. Important downside: I sometimes forget really good wording or the stuff that led to my conclusion which is important for expressing it to others.

Tumblr: 3 notes. One anon who is probably the same person from last time spamming me with hate (sometimes this is fun). If I want to say anything of note and support my argument, it turns into a several-page essay that one or two people will read (thank you). If I'm just making a short pointless post.... I'm not an endless well of inconsequential phrases and erotic thoughts (that I want to share), and it feels insignificant.

This is why it is always best to write for oneself (or post for oneself). If you care even slightly about what people think, whether your ideas are worth something, etc, it stops being fun. Initially, I made this blog to mess with Cedar and also as a space where I could exist as myself rather than having to act in a way that is acceptable based on the rest of the system's image...now I find myself trying to act in a way that is in accordance with my own image. Absolutely detestable thing to do.

Admittedly, I like the URL too much to throw away this blog, and sometimes it is fun and interesting. Basically, I've just got to get over this bone-deep exhaustion that comes from horrible physical health, discontentment with the world, and several months of too much to do with my LLC plus volunteer work plus *gestures vaguely at our bad habits, which are extensive.*

I would like to be on here more, I just have zero faith in myself to maintain it, which shouldn't stop me from posting occasionally, I suppose.

Thanks again for the ask, sorry for derailing it.

[your-local-grubdog]

I just saw a guide to writing but uh it sucks so I'm writing my own.

So from a hobbiest writer, here's my tips to writing good

1) Kill Your Inner Critic

Do it. With a knife. I dare you.

In all seriousness, being too hard on yourself gets you no where. If you're too scared to even start writing because you "need" to have certain skills, you won't get those skills!!! Something something "he was too afraid to fly so he never did land". Let yourself write badly!!! No one cares!!! Writing is a skill you have to learn by doing, studying the fundementals or whatever will only get you so far.

You will have weaknesses, and that's okay. I over think my plots of longer stories and my spelling is far from perfect. We're human. Make mistakes, learn, and keep going.

2) Read Other Stories

Read your favorite stories. See why you like them so much. Read popular and classic stories. See why they work and/or why they're still remembered. Read terrible stories. See why they don't work. Wonder how in the fuck this book not only got published but is considered a classic in its genera when the writer didn't even use fucking quotation marks or tags for dialogue meaning that you can't tell whats dialogue and what's not. Why the fuck did my proffessor make me read this, what the hell (based on a true story). Understanding what other writers did right and wrong from your prospective teaches you a lot. And personally, I feel a lot better about my stories knowing how low the bar is set sometimes.

Also reading fun. Gives you ideas. And would you trust a director who rarely watches movies? No? Think on why :)

"But what if I accidentally borrow from the story-" nothing is original anymore!!! You usually have to go out of your way to out right copy someone else! Keep tabs on your insparation if you're paranoid, but insparation is a good thing!!!

3) Take!!! Breaks!!!! Rest ya goof!!!

This was my biggest gripe with the post I saw earlier lmao. It said to write every day, even when its hard. To that I say BULLSHIT!

Write regularly, yes. You learn by doing, and so doing is how you retain that information.

But if you're burnt out or tired or just not feeling it? Rest!!! Forcing yourself to do your art is how you come to hate doing it!!! So let yourself take breaks!!! This applies to just about anything tbh, not just writing.

4) Write For Yourself

Write stories you want to read. It makes the process so much more enjoyable, trust me. Don't feel like you have to write about xyz just because it's currently trendy. If you wouldn't like reading about xyz, you probably won't like writing it and will burn out fast.

Write what you want to read. People who also wish to read it will slowly find it. Let yourself have fun.

5) Research is Still Good Though

You learn to write by writing, yes. But that doesn't mean taking classes, reading guide books, or seeing what advice ppl on the internet have is pointless.

Writing is also subjective though. Not only in "what I like is different from what you like" but also "what I do to make writing easier for me is different from what you do to make writing easier for you". Learn what you can, maybe someone else tried something you'd never think of! But if it doesn't work for you then it doesn't work for you.

Also research topics you want to cover but are unfamiliar with. Time periods, locations, desiease, hobbies, that stuff. Generally a good idea to know what you're gonna write about before you write it.

6) You Don't Need to Post/Publish Everything

Last but not least: do you not want to post a work? Then don't. You don't need a reason. It's okay to keep some works just to yourself or to a group of friends. Sometimes knowing no one else will see a certain work of yours is comforting, and makes it easier to work on said project. You don't owe the world your art.

Share what you want to share. If that means all your drafts, short stories, notes and finished peices? Okay. If that means litteraly nothing? Also okay. Your work is yours, do with it as you please.

[a-moth-to-the-light]

Fruits Basket Diaries, #7: Conclusion

[see part 1 here]

[see part 6 here]

I mentioned in part 2 that I was planning to do an analysis on Shigure somewhere in this series. Well, I've tried drafting it a few times now, and I still have no idea how to string my thoughts on him together. I think that writing about him would require another reading of the series, so that's something for me to look forward to! A note on why he's my favorite character (tied with Ayame, of course) for curious parties, though: suffice it to say that I get very anxious when I feel like I'm being controlled, so Shigure, with his air of uninvolvement in, well, pretty much everything, is my ideal parental figure.

I'll start with a story, one which, if I had bothered to write it down at the time, would have been a poem a few months ago. I used to say I grew up in Texas; that's where I fell in love with writing, after all, and made friends closer than any I had before. But a few months ago, I was walking through my old neighborhood in the state I currently call home, the place I lived throughout middle school and most of high school after moving away from Texas, and I felt a burst of nostalgia for what I can only describe as a second childhood. This, I decided, is where I grew up, too.

I imagined, for the longest time, a lost youth in Texas, a time pre-abuse where I was an ambitious, outgoing person now lost to mental illness, someone who, though I can logically understand her as me, I cannot claim the experiences of because of our disconnection--I feel a gulf between us, a two-year void of pain I still struggle to name. I grew up once, and it ended with flashbacks and panic attacks, my willingness to explore having been brutally burned away, I believed. Now I'm stuck this way, with not even memories of childhood to go back to. But I suppose I've proven myself wrong: PTSD and all, I grew up again in a new place, post-abuse. In my new home, I picked up new kinds of writing with an obsessiveness befitting my younger self; I discovered romantic love, supposedly a staple of coming-of-age but something I had never felt in my first childhood. When I lived in Texas, my life began to branch out, opening up to a thousand possibilities for beauty. Then it all burned down, and then, against all my expectations, the growing started again.

I can see Fruits Basket, now that I've finally finished the series, as a manifestation of this change. During my first read, it was just a coping mechanism to deal with depression; during the second, a window into the mind of the haunted self who had read it the first time around. This time around, all hell broke loose, but in the best way possible--I've written about all sorts of topics in Fruits Basket, left a thousand sticky notes throughout the 23 volumes, surprising myself with how much of this writing is about, well, not-abuse. PTSD often makes me feel like I'm living the same few years on infinite loop--recreating the same relationship dynamics, feeling the same intense emotions, shutting down in the same way I did all those years ago. But these days, I have so much more to say than I thought I did--I grew up again, and that means so much has happened in my life that trauma hasn't stolen from me. I have so much to talk about--years' worth of varied, vibrant life. I had my second childhood, years spent in a new, colorful world just waiting for me to explore it. Don't get me wrong, my worst years will probably have me in a stranglehold for a good long while, but I realize there is so much more to me. I'm a lesbian genderqueer-being-thing who loves talking about all things queerness; I'm a hopeless romantic who, while tired of love, can't quite bring myself to erase it from my life; I'm a childish adult who sees my mannerisms reflected in Tohru, Momiji, and Ayame.

In short, Fruits Basket was exciting. Throughout the time I spent reading the manga this summer, I was vivid, constantly chattering and giggling to myself about some idea or other in the story. I never feel more like myself than when I'm bursting at the seams with a thousand things to say, so Fruits Basket, with its buzzy, energetic plot and dedication to developing its ensemble cast, made me feel more human than I've felt in a long while. I'm so glad I finally got to finish reading this series, a project five-ish years in the making!

From the start, the characters from Fruits Basket have been a family for me, models for the messy but also loving and colorful life that I so badly craved back in 2017, when I first encountered volume 1. And now--now I have that life. I grew into it, growing up again, throughout high school, and now some of the newness is gone--I'm more settled at my writing desk; my tastes in music, books, and people are much more established; all my future loves will emerge, likely more successful, from my experiences with my first ones. Though there will always be new things, I now have a home, both metaphorical and physical, I can call my own and return to after a long day of the chaos that is this world. Fruits Basket was once the only family I felt connected to, a source of warmth and light I couldn't find elsewhere; today, I'm blessed with more than one family, and my mind is a source of warmth all on its own. I'm proud to say that I became what I loved so much about Fruits Basket back in 2017: messy, loving, colorful.

So, um, wow. Yes, Fruits Basket holds up; I think it actually got better for me over time, my more experienced self able to find even more richness in it than I did before. In chapter 69, Haru tells Yuki that he thinks the unknowns of student council are good for Yuki, and I love how, in Fruits Basket Another, Natsuki Takaya gives only limited glimpses of original main characters, obscuring their faces and making few references to their current lives and personalities. She leaves her original characters to their unknowns; for the longest time, characters like Tohru, Yuki, and Kyo had very limited agency, but once we let them go at the end of Volume 23, she respects their ability to be whoever they want now that they're free. So, for the time being at least (believe you me, when I decide I want to reread this series no library can stop me), I'll leave everyone from Fruits Basket to their unknowns, to lives that get to be completely theirs, and I'll face my own. If I can become chock-full of words and experiences in just a few years, able to blabber on and on about all sorts of things in Fruits Basket that I never would have thought deeply about before, I can only imagine the range of possibilities for the rest of my life. Right now, I'm thinking a walk sounds about right. It's sunny out!

[stylessupremacy]

I posted 2,816 times in 2021

79 posts created (3%)

2737 posts reblogged (97%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 34.6 posts.

I added 3,700 tags in 2021

#harry styles - 1352 posts

#harrystyles - 878 posts

#love on tour - 428 posts

#harry styles x reader - 220 posts

#dad!harry - 182 posts

#harry styles imagine - 156 posts

#harry styles blurb - 152 posts

#harry styles writing - 136 posts

#harry styles fluff - 102 posts

#harry styles fanfiction - 94 posts

Longest Tag: 102 characters

#i have a very short clip from when i went to the concert of harry going under the stage in that box 😭

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Hey guys, sorry that I haven’t really been active :(

I probably won’t really be active till tomorrow. Sorry if I never answered you back, I’ll try to do it tomorrow

Until tomorrow, much love

Jess

7 notes • Posted 2021-12-06 14:53:50 GMT

#4

Thank you so much for tagging me @thismaydestroyme 🥺🥺 love you!! ❤️

I definitely messed this up and I ran out of ideas towards the end, so I’m sorry lmao 😂

Tagging: @fishnets-fingers @watchmegetobsessed @harrysgoldenbum @honeypotstyles @lollypopsx @finelinevogue @harryhoney-bee @mouthfulloftoothpastehs @virgorry @finelineisgolden @tinydestinybear @rommahh @marvelous-harry @harryssweatcreaturee @strawberryystyles @sunandherflores @divalovesyou @swiftmendeshoran

8 notes • Posted 2021-11-26 04:45:41 GMT

#3

BESTIEED FNEN

I just bought the fine line deluxe cd on depop and I hope it wasn't a scam 😭

I'm honestly just depending my life on the two reviews under her profile

Omg, bestie!!!

I really hope it wasn’t a scam for you!!!

Let me know how it goes!!!

And you have Depop??? I do too!!! Even though I never sell anything lmao 😭😭

9 notes • Posted 2021-11-29 01:34:52 GMT

#2

Can you picture Anne keeping this costume :( and one day Harry goes to her house with his baby :( and she gives them the costume :( and they recreate this picture? :((((

Omg yes!!!!

That would honestly be the best!! And like Harry and Anne would post it to their Instagram 🥺

Omg you just killed me with this concept 🥺

18 notes • Posted 2021-11-02 23:34:18 GMT

#1

The Help Of A Mother

I’ve had this sitting in my drafts for a while. So I proof read it and decided to post it. This is just a small blurb, I do plan on eventually writing one shots and stuff like that. I’ve been extremely busy so I’m not making any promises when I’m going to be posting again but I’ll try to post as often as I can. And please leave feedback on this piece so I know what I need to improve on in my writing.

Word count: 1.2k

Warnings: just pure fluff :)

• • •

"Daddy"

Harry slowly woke up hearing the voice of his daughter calling for him. Harry assumed his daughter was awake from her slumber and wanted to come and cuddle with Harry for a little bit like they always do on the weekends.

When Harry went to reach over to his nightstand where he kept the baby monitor, he was confused why he couldn't feel it. So he finally opened his tired, groggy eyes to realize the baby monitor wasn't there. Harry started to panic a little bit thinking he left it somewhere else besides in his bedroom.

"Daddy!" Harry heard his daughter calling for him again but she sounded way too close, for her to be in her nursery.

Harry rolled over and was met with his baby girl looking back at him.

"Daddy!" Harper chirped and slung her arms around his neck.

"Hey bug," he said in his deep, raspy, sleep-filled voice, while he rubbed Harper's back and gave her a kiss.

After a few minutes of the two cuddling together, one question came to mind for Harry.

"Hey love, how'd you get out of your crib?"

"Nana!" Harper exclaimed.

"Nana's here? Well, how about we get changed and head downstairs to see her?" Harry said as he sat Harper back onto his bed while he slipped on some joggers and a t-shirt.

It all made sense as to why Harper was out of her crib. Harper's only two and hasn't mastered climbing out of her crib, much to Harry's liking. He'd love to keep her in her crib a little while longer because once she goes into a big girl bed, Harper isn't such a little girl anymore.

It also made sense as to why the baby monitor wasn't on his nightstand when Harry woke up. His mom must've came in and took it with her so Harry could get some extra sleep without being disturbed by either his mom or his baby girl.

Once Harry got dressed, he picked up Harper and felt her diaper. It was dry, so he just assumed his mom changed her when she woke up.

Harry and Harper started their adventure downstairs. When Harry took the first step, going down, he could already smell his mom's homemade chocolate chip pancakes.

He remembered on Saturday or Sunday mornings when she'd make him and Gemma these pancakes. They were always their favorite. The pancakes were always a tradition in the Styles household when Gemma and Harry were kids. Anne wanted to continue the tradition with Harper.

Harry and Harper continued down the stairs and into the kitchen. Harry spotted his mom by the stove where she was probably grilling the pancakes.

"Morning mum" Harry greeted while he got out a sippy cup for Harper.

"Morning sleepy head" Anne greeted while she finished grilling that last of the pancakes.

"I thought you could probably use some extra sleep, so I decided to come over and make some breakfast and keep this one busy while you caught up on some sleep," Anne said to Harry as she began plating the food for them.

"You didn't have to mum, but thank you, I really appreciate it. This one has been quite the handful for the past month since she just turned two." Harry joked while setting Harper down in her high chair and handing her, her sippy cup of juice.

"Of course, sweetie. We all need help sometimes, plus you know I'd do anything for this little stinker and you." Anne said while she set down a couple of pancakes, cut up into bite-sized pieces along with some chopped-up strawberries and bananas on Harper's tray.

Anne carried both their plates over to the table where Harper was already munching on her food. They both sat down at the table and joined Harper, and dig into their food as well. Harry was telling his mum about some of the new songs he's writing and just how life is going overall both him and Harper. Anne also shared with him what she's been up to, too since they haven't seen each other for a couple of weeks.

Anne was helping Harry clean up the kitchen and Harper was in the living room finishing her juice and watching "Paw Patrol." The show she's been obsessed with for the past couple of weeks.

Harper walked into the kitchen and pulled on Harry's pant leg. She wanted a cuddle and she wanted it now.

"Hold on bubs, I'm almost done," Harry replied since he was busy washing the dishes.

Harper didn't like that response, so she did what she thought was right in her two-year-old mind. She plopped her diaper-clad bottom on the tiled floor and started crying.

"Daddy!" She sobbed as she made grabby hands at Harry.

Harry wasn't purposely trying to ignore her or anything, he was genuinely busy washing the dishes. Harry gave Harper a talking to before about if he's busy and can't do what she wants, she just needs to be patient. But Harper's only two and is still learning, so Harry's trying to be patient with her to the best of his abilities.

Anne realized what was going on and gave Harry a hand. She stopped drying the pan and set down the towel she was using. She bent down and scooped the crying girl into her arms.

"Hey, Harper. Your okay, shhh." Anne tried her best to console the two-year-old.

Harry finished doing the dishes and decided to heat up some milk. Every time Harper gets upset, one way Harry gets her to calm down is by giving her some warm milk and snuggles.

Anne took Harper out to the living room while Harry finished getting her milk ready. Once it was ready, he walked into the living room where Harper was starting to finally calm down.

When Harry came into view for Harper, she instantly made grabby hands towards him.

Harry of course took her into his arms and sat next to his mum. Harry gave Harper the warm milk while "Paw Patrol," played in the background.

"Thanks again for coming over mum. Don't think she would've calmed down as soon as she did if it wasn't for you." Harry said to his mum, while he rubbed Harper's back in a soothing matter.

"Of course baby. I'd do anything for you and Harper. And sometimes you just need help from your mother." Anne said and gave a small smirk towards Harry.

Harry had always been against getting help from his mum since Harper is his responsibility. He always felt bad when he'd be last minute and need a babysitter, he'd call his mum and of course, she would say yes. I mean that's her only grandchild and she gets to spend some quality time with her, so of course, she would say yes.

Anne is proud of him for thinking like that, but she wished he'd take her help from her when he could really use it.

For the rest of the late morning, the three of them sat on the couch. Harper snuggled in Harry's warm arms, watching the tv. While Harry and Anne sat there and had a quiet conversation and tried not to disturb Harper.

Anne was happy to spend time with her son and grandchild. And Harry was grateful for the help of his mother.

Tag list: @harryhoney-bee @lollypopsx @michelleficrecs

232 notes • Posted 2021-09-26 01:54:24 GMT

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