#i'm doing okay but my brain is fighting me this week. lol i might die. it's already almost monday... and i've only done like 7/34 TWT

[stabbyfoxandrew]

omg i forgot it was wednesday!! requesting mafia restaurant this time!! hope you’re doing well aerie

WIP Wednesday (4/3) | Mafia Front Restaurant AU (Part 127)

After fifteen minutes of people watching and reading Tweets over Kevin’s shoulder, Neil’s about to go insane. His restlessness is something he’s never grown out of and he’s starting to feel cooped up. Like a dog tied to a tree. Or left in a car... 

“What’s the matter?” ask Kevin from the front.

Neil looks up at him. “Huh?”

“You keep sighing.” Kevin says. 

“I do not,” Neil argues. Then he looks towards the door to the shop and lets out a breath.

“You just did it again.” Kevin says, turning in his seat. He starts to laugh quietly. “You sound like an old dog.”

“Shut up.” Neil pouts, remembering Jean’s joke about him being a pet. “What is taking him so long?”

“It’s not been that long.” Kevin says, looking back down at his phone. “You’re just antsy all the time.”

Well, he’s got a point. Neil glances out the window to see Jean exiting the shop with quite a few bags in his trolley. Oh, thank God. He’s finally done. When he gets to the car, Jean loads most of the groceries into the trunk. Except for one bag that he brings with him into the front seat.

“Took you long enough. I thought we were going to have to send out a search party.” Neil snides as soon as Jean climbs in. Jean gives him a look in the rearview.

“This is the thanks I get for searching for this for ten minutes?” Jean asks, slipping a magazine out of the bag. Neil’s mouth falls open.

“You do care.” He says with a smile, reaching for the magazine.

“Of course I do, you imbecile.” Jean folds the magazine and slaps Neil in the side of the head with it before dropping it in his lap. The smack rattles Neil’s brain a bit and Kevin snorts. Jean clears his throat. “For your information, they moved the magazine stand to the other side, nearer the bakery section.”

“Thanks,” Neil says, hand coming to his head. “Can we go now?”

“God, you’re never happy. Are you?” Jean asks, starting the car.

“I’m not sure. Thanks for the concussion.” Neil says, then he waves the magazine. “And this, I guess.”

Kevin snorts. “All three of us have had concussions. I think it takes a little more than that.”

Jean and Neil share a look in the rearview mirror again. The two of them know exactly what it takes to get a concussion, courtesy of Riko Moriyama, but they silently agree not to bring it up. Because, while it’s sort of cathartic for the two of them to bitch about Riko, it only serves to make Kevin feel like shit.

[strangerinanallnightdiner]

I so desperately want to be seen. My brain does not. My social anxiety still continues to ruin my life at the ripe age of 30. I've tried to keep an actual journal, but there's something so much comforting to type. Do I really need to post it on here? not really. However, like I said, I want to be seen so badly. No matter what hobby or interest I have it requires for me to BE out there. in the world. IN front of others. However, I still have to fight with myself to get out of bed and OUT of my apartment. I've been thinking about all aspects of my health lately. Watching my mom die from lung cancer because she had been smoking since 15 was so crazy. It was practically a week we got her diagnosis and then BAM she dead. Talk bout a crash course in Cancer. Anyways, I should not even be on here. I'm currently on a social media break. For some reason I don't count Youtube and I guess Tumblr in that category. You can def scroll too much on those things as well. But I told myself I have to sit in front of my computer or TV in order to consume those things.

A year ago, my life was completely different. I had gotten fired from my job, found a new one, had a new roommate, and the most weight I've ever had on me. I was sober but I was still struggling with everything. This year I feel in some aspects in still in the same spot that I was a year ago. I'm still socially awkward, can't get over the idea of my school anxiety that I have developed from a young age. I still have trouble making new friends. I have trouble taking my old friends for granted and then get sad when I don't talk to them anymore. It's just dumb. okay. It's dumb. Why haven't I learned to be okay with people perceiving me? I'm still figuring that out. The best I can do right now, is try my best to get it together. Not for just me but for my girl. My saving grace. My rock. My biggest fan and hater and LOVER all wrapped in one. She has it together. She takes care of me better than I take care of her. Thank god I love cooking and cleaning for real it would be over for me. As of right now on October 29th, my focus will be my school work and my work work. I need to work on my financial health first. If I have to rent again I might cry. It'll take a lot of work tho. I'm thinking of getting a serving job for my WINTER arc lol. idk if writing this made me feel worse or better. I'll let you know I guess

-z

[yibo-wang]

okay so the song is supposed to come out 12pm china time right? well, ant anon has decided to FUCK SLEEP SCHEDULE (who needs it anyways) and i will stay up until it's 6am bcs that's the time it will come out where i live and i'll probably need to wait for someone to put it on youtube or tumblr. so i'm playing ghost of tsushima and TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHERE THAT LAST MISSION IS SO THAT I CAN GET TO THIS OTHER ISLAND (also idk but my brain started to list similarities between lwj and jin and 🥺🥺😔 1. raised & trained by their uncle (i mean, ig trained by lqr?? partly maybe) 2. mothers died (of disease?? suicide?? who knows for madam lan? but jin's mother died of illness and the thing he missed the most is her voice calling his name and this man is a baby 🥺) 3. tradition. loyalty. honor. (do i need to specify?) 4. protecting the weak and doing the right thing (this also lines up with wwx) 5. fighting at the front in a war (jin doesn't really have a choice tho) 6. idk but like.... you can dress jin (partly) in white and that's cool 7. oh yeah dead fathers!! both of them got killed!!! just different circumstances..... also jin's dad seemed to be close to jin? idk we got a second of him and that was a flashback of his death scene 8. a lot of people seem to die in their life 9. BETRAYAL idk how that fits lwj too much but BETRAYAL 10. they're good looking 11. ohhh you know about how in some games you have to level up right? well for jin there's something similair, it's called something like "legend status"? and one of them is called something along the lines of "hope/light bringer (of his people?)" and yeah that reminds me of sunshot campaign lwj!! 12. gay duhhh (i don't think jin is canonly gay but let me tell you, HE FUCKING IS) 13. part of a noble and well respected family aka the lan clan and the sakai clan 14. uncles that seem to be a bit too much into their teachings 15. uncles that still care for them deeply and want them to remain on the ~right~ path and yeah idk i'm just trying to come up with something to talk about. their personalities don't match too much, except maybe that jin kind of likes poetry ig and that they're good at controlling their emotions!!! - ant anon

idk how this went from me talking about staying up bcs of wang FUCKING yibo but i love my boy jin, can you tell? also i'm trying to catch up with the wolf and argh i need more xiao zhan thank you very much. also a week or so ago i watched the first episode of lof and idk it feels so weird :(((( ngl i only made it through the first episode because of yibo, my brother might be slightly concerned for my mental health now but what's new about that? also my birthday is coming up soon (in like... a week) and i still don't know what i want. i thought about wishing for a poetry book by sappho bUT idk i haven't even finished the mdzs novel or tsoa 😔😔 AND i am reading the silmarillion a bit so fuck it - ant anon

Ant anon hi hello!

Ahhh I heard the song fjfkf it's been on repeat since and RAPPER!YIBO RISE. I really like the lyrics, they're really nice. But also please go to sleep, yibo's song will be there when you wake up.

Also I had no idea which jin you were talking about, I thought maybe it's jin ling or jin zixuan lol but all the similarities didnt match with either, but then I realised it's the guy from the game.

Ahh I still havent started wolf but i miss seeing xiao zhan. Ahaha really? I actually liked it, the jumping scenes were a bit weird but that's how most period dramas are but I'm looking forward to watching the rest of the ep, especially looking forward to watching fei in action. I really love her!

Ooh happy birthday in advance!💛 I hope you have a good one!

Hmm as for the gift fjfj I'd say go ahead and ask for it lol cause like book hoarding is a thing,, in fact book buying and book reading are two completely different hobbies,, or so I've been told lol.