#i'm doing my best please be patient with me

[morallygreychaoticneutral]

Astarion prefers monogamy.

Again, simply my cup of thought tea steeped from my game experience. Its not everyone's drink. No shame, no blame, it's your game. Warning for triggers and spoilers.

*added note due to misunderstandings.

Please notice I said "prefers monogamy" not "is monogamous". He may be up for added partners later on down the line. But definitely not any time before the epilogue in my world.

So, why do I think he prefers monogamy?

Take..

"Iv never had anyone. Not really. Nothing that compares to you."

And mix that with...

"I had nothing for so very long. NOTHING! Not even my own body!"

And add..

"You're you. Nobody is like that."

Plus countless other comments and actions and you get a bowl full of elf who just wants something for himself only for a change.

Centuries of being forced to give up or share everything. His possessions, his person, his own thoughts. Nothing to claim as own that no one else could take or touch at any moment. I'm sure if anything was given to him, he had to fight to keep it.

I think, he would be a bit possessive of anything he could claim as his own.

You are a gift to him. Something rare and special beyond words. I highly doubt he would be willing to share anything you are sharing with him outside of friendship. I could even see him getting fussy about strangers touching you. Moving you away or putting himself physically between you and whomever just touched you without asking.

Hells, even ascended Astarion isn't 100% game to share.

"As much as I wish to sequester you in a deep chamber of my palace and keep you all to myself...there is much to be done."

But, what about Halsin? He says he's fine with it.

Is he? Or is he people pleasing?

If he had said something along the lines of,

"Oh? He wants to share does he? Of course he does. I'm not up for such activities just yet, but you are free to have as much Halsin as you wish. "

I would have gone on that bear hunt, but he doesn't.

He askes you if you are wanting to sleep with Halsin because he has not been able to meet your sexual needs. And I interpreted that as he's vulnerable and worried he's being replaced for not putting out.

Imagine you had asked your lover to not to look to you for sex for reasons you are working out. They agree and you are just relieved as hell about it.

"You were patient. You cared."

Then they come along later down the line and say they are thinking about having sex with a friend. Where would your mind go?

I would bet hard gold he weighed the options in his head. "If I don't let them do this, they might leave me for good. But if I allow it, they wont have an immediate reason to leave. Halsin is the safest option given his experience."

And what's the best way to feel less awful about a situation we cant control? Create a counter situation where we gaslight ourselves into thinking its fine.

Wheeee!

I'm not saying Halsin's offer was bad, it was perfectly fine, it was just poorly placed in the grand scheme of things. If you and Astarion were having fun again before he suggested being an extra, then it would have been easier to believe he was really fine with it.

If they wanted Astarion to be a poly partner they needed to write it better. Shadowheart makes more sense as pro poly than he does.

So for me, Astarion is a one on one elf.

I am not against polyamory. I am not trying to take representation away. I am not shaming anybody for their choices. There is just not enough specific content to support it fully FOR ME. I was actually excited at the idea of having two partners in my fantasy world. Halsin was very clear and very specific about being on board. Astarion was not. And the choice did not feel right. Add a line somewhere for Astarion where he says "Im perfectly fine with sharing, darling. As long as it is discussed and we are in agreement of course." I will happily be on board with it.

[iwantmochisoup]

fem!beast skk - thanks to twin @saltedbiscuiit for starting all this beast brainrot <3

[f1writingbyme]

Hi everyone,

This is one of the hardest things I’ve ever written, and I never thought I’d be sharing something so deeply personal. But here I am, reaching out, hoping that someone else out there might understand this journey, this longing, this ache that I’m carrying. I don’t have a big following, so I don’t know if this will reach many people, but if there’s a chance it connects with even one person who’s been through something similar, it’ll be worth it.

My boyfriend and I have been trying to start a family. For over two years, we tried before finally going to our GP, who sent us straight to a clinic. It’s been a year of treatments now, a year of hopeful highs and crushing lows. We tried IUI (intrauterine insemination) four times – four times our hopes rose and fell. Then we turned to ICSI (intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection) because “traditional” IVF wasn’t an option for us.

When I had my egg retrieval, they collected a lot of eggs, but only four turned into embryos. Four. Just four chances to hold onto this dream.

Today, we found out that none of those embryos made it. We’re back to square one. All those hormone shots, every bruise, every drop of blood, every ultrasound, all the mood swings, the endless hoping and praying – only to have to start from scratch. I can’t describe the exhaustion, both physically and emotionally. You go through the medications, the appointments, waiting, and waiting, just to start all over again. It feels like it’s breaking me.

We’re going to try again because we still hold onto this hope of having a baby together. But we also have to face the reality that it may never happen, and that thought shatters my heart. Watching others around me get pregnant, hearing news of new babies… it’s so hard to see, and it fills me with a mix of sadness and anger that I can’t even fully explain. I don’t want to feel this way, but it’s the truth.

I feel so alone in this. None of my close friends or family have faced something like this. I’m reaching out here, hoping to find someone who understands, someone who has been through this kind of pain and hope and heartbreak. I feel like I could just disappear, like the ground could open up and take me in, but here I am, holding onto a sliver of hope that one day, somehow, I’ll get to hold a little miracle in my arms. Until then, I’m trying my best to be patient, even when it feels like it’s breaking me.

I want to thank @lestappenforever, my best friend in the entire world, for being my rock through all of this, even from miles away. You never push, you never overwhelm me with questions — you’re just there, right when I need you. That kind of support means more to me than I can put into words. I love you. ❤️❤️❤️

I don’t know if anyone going through the same thing will see this, but if you do, please reach out. I’m here to talk, to listen, to be there for you, but also to share my story.

You’re not alone in this. Please hold onto that. ❤️

I'm going to be a lot less active on here. I'm sorry for that (if anyone cares) but I need some time to myself. Mona and I will be back on the 1st of December with something fucking amazing which I hope you all love ❤️ I want to thank you all for your support and I love you all.

[violetwanderer]

Target Practice

Din Djarin x Female Reader

Summary: Reader wants to learn how to shoot, and only Din can teach her. He finds a great way to motivate her to hit the targets

Warnings: Smut, fingering, vaginal sex, creampie, slight breeding kink, size kink, dirty talk, praise kink, shooting

Word Count: 4.4k

Author's Note: It's been a while since I've written a fic, so hopefully this isn't too bad. Also I had to look up some of the gun stuff lol

Do not copy or translate my works

"Will you teach me how to shoot a blaster?"

Din doesn't move from his seat in the cockpit, not even to look at you when you ask the question, but you know he heard you. He doesn't answer either, making you shuffle awkwardly and look down at your feet, feeling embarrassed to ask such a thing.

"Please," you beg, trying not to sound too pathetic. "If I'm going to be traveling with you, I should know how to defend myself, even if I'm just meant to stay on the ship."

You only met the man a few months ago when he came to the shipyard you worked at. The job paid very little, and honestly, not many ships landed there, leaving you stuck in a dead-end job until one fateful day when a Razor Crest landed in front of you and out stepped a Mandalorian looking for extensive repairs. You did the best you could with the limited supplies you had at work, improvising when you didn't have important parts. Thankfully, he was impressed with all the things you fixed, which led to him coming back a few more times and asking you specifically to fix his ship when it was damaged during his bounty hunting trips. After the fourth time, he asked if you would be willing to travel with him and become his mechanic while he tracked down bounties. The pay was much better than what you were receiving on that backwater planet, and it gave you the opportunity to travel the galaxy, so you said yes, even though you didn't even know his name. You only learned it a few weeks ago.

"Fine," Din answers curtly, still not looking back at you, even though the ship is in hyperspace and he doesn't need to pay such close attention to what's in front of him. "Next time we land, I'll teach you to shoot before I go after the quarry."

A smile spreads across your face, and you're glad you didn't have to try and convince him to teach you. Despite his gruff demeanour, Din has been pretty good to you. He's patient when repairs sometimes take a while or you don't have the right parts because it's been a while since you two have landed somewhere that sells them. The only rule he is strict about is his creed. You haven't even seen him without his gloves on, let alone his helmet. It's not a difficult rule to follow, though. He seems to only take it off when he's in his bunk.

Despite not knowing what he looks like, you can't help but feel attracted to him. The beskar armour makes him look large and intimidating, but you don't feel afraid of him. Watching him intimidate others, however, always has your thighs clenching together and wetness pooling in your underwear. This started about two weeks after you began traveling with him, and ever since then you've found yourself growing more and more turned on around him.

“When will we be landing?” You question eagerly, clasping your hands together.

“Soon,” is his only answer. You have gotten used to that, too. Din barely speaks, only relaying information when it's necessary. There's never any small talk with him, which you've learned to live with. Sometimes the silence is nice.

Landing can't come soon enough. You buckle in as Din prepares to drop out of hyperspace, and you see the planet you're going to land on. It appears to be quite green, covered in dense forests, and as you get closer, you can't see many settlements. You have a feeling he will have to travel quite a while to find the bounty while you stay behind and mind the ship. You'll feel safer now that he is going to teach you how to protect yourself with a gun.

Once the ship has landed, you remove your belt, quickly leaving the cockpit with a giddy feeling in your stomach. You've wanted to learn how to shoot a blaster for quite a while, but you didn't have access to any at your old job and you have always been too nervous to ask Din until now. He has plenty of weapons, and you're sure he won't mind you keeping one on your person while he's out of the ship. It would be pretty inconvenient for him to lose his live in mechanic.

You hear him slowly follow you down to the ramp, opening it for you and walking down first to quickly scan the area to make sure it's safe. Once he's satisfied, he turns back to where you're still standing on the ship.

“Wait out here,” he instructs you. “I'll get the blaster and some stuff for you to aim at.”

You nod and descend from the ramp, waiting patiently as he enters the ship and gathers what you will need.

Only two minutes later he returns, carrying a blaster that's smaller than the one he usually carries and some empty cans that the two of you haven't gotten rid of yet. Walking over to a log about 15 feet from where you stand, he lines the cans up on it, evenly spaced out, before returning to your side. He then holds out the blaster for you to take.

“You see this?” He taps a little switch on the side of it. “This is the safety. You turn it on when you're not using the blaster. Understand?”

You nod eagerly, buzzing with excitement and nerves. The weapon doesn't weigh much, but your hands feel weak just holding it.

Once Din has shown you this, he grabs one of your hands in his much larger one, placing it on the gun.

“Keep both hands on it for now,” he tells you, positioning your hands correctly. “It will help you with your aim.”

You try your best to soak up all this information, but your mind keeps slipping to how good his large hands feel over your much smaller ones. It would probably feel even better if he wasn't wearing gloves, but you'll take what you can get.

Din steps back finally once he is satisfied with how you hold the gun and has instructed you on your stance.

“Now, just aim and shoot,” he says, as if it's really that simple. Although for an excellent bounty hunter and fighter, it really is that simple. You're sure he's been doing this for years.

You take a deep breath, looking at the first can that rests on the log, and you slowly pull the trigger. The shot goes way above the can, hitting a tree behind it and leaving a mark on it. The force of the shot nearly makes you drop the weapon, but you manage to keep your grip on it. Your cheeks burn with embarrassment at how bad you did.

“It's fine,” Din states from beside you. “Not everyone hits the target on their first attempt. Try again.”

You line up the shot again, aiming for the second can now. Once again, you pull the trigger and miss the target entirely. Your grip on the gun feels unstable as your hands begin to sweat. You quickly wipe them off your trousers before trying again, this time hitting slightly closer to your target.

You're growing frustrated with your constant failures, especially since Din is watching you intensely, seeing your mess ups each time. You repeat the process three more times before he lets out a sigh of irritation, making you feel humiliated. You must look like a fool to him. What if he thinks you won't be able to protect yourself and won't want to travel with you anymore? You could be a liability if you're unable to fight back and need to rely on him if things go south.

“Stop thinking so hard,” he orders you, approaching you and standing behind you. His hands reach out and move on top of yours, setting your aim right and moving you into the right position. His beskar-covered body is pressed right against yours, with his chest against your back and his hips brushing against your ass. Your breathing stops, feeling every part of him against you, and all you want is for you two to be like this under different circumstances.

“Pay attention.” Din's voice distracts you from letting your thoughts go any further. “We don't have all day.”

You do your best to ignore the feeling of his body against yours and take a deep breath, allowing his hands to guide yours to point the blaster at the target. You pull the trigger and hear a ping as the bullet hits the can, and it falls from the log and hits the ground.

“Good girl,” Din breathes in your ear, making your legs go weak. In an attempt to steady yourself, you lean back against him, but this just makes you more unsteady. He's pressed against you completely now, and you can't help but arch your back slightly, pushing your ass against his hips.

You can feel his bulge pressed against your behind, and it feels so good. Embarrassment burns through your body at what you just did, but before you can try to pull away from him, Din's hands grasp your hips and pull you right against him, his hands keeping you in place as you hear his breathing pick up and feel his cock grow harder in his flight suit.

“Stay right here,” Din hisses, his grip tightening. “If you hit every target, I'll give you exactly what you want, pretty girl.”

Your hands tremble slightly over the grip of the gun with excitement. You've wanted this for so long, and to hear that you're so close to getting it has your pussy soaking your underwear. With everything he has taught you kept in your mind, you aim at the can next to the one you have already shot, pulling the trigger and miraculously hitting it.

Din's hands move up from your hips to just below your breasts, his thumbs brushing against the underneath of them teasingly. You whine desperately, wanting his hands to go further, but clearly he has no intention of moving them.

“Just three more,” he reminds you. “You can do it.”

Once again, you line up the shot and take it, hitting the third can. This one just about knocks it off the log, making you groan quietly in frustration. Din's hands on your body have you completely distracted, your mind focusing too much on his promise to give you what you want if you do well for him.

“Focus,” he reminds you, his hands moving up to gently grasp your breasts before moving back down to your waist, wrapping around your form to keep you against him. You feel your nipples harden when he brushes against your chest, which doesn't help you stay focused at all.

“Come on, you're so close,” Din whispers in your ear, the voice modulator making him sound more intimidating. A shiver runs down your spine.

You repeat the process all over again, taking your time to try and calm yourself down before making the next shot, which thankfully hits the can in the centre this time. You smile gleefully at the sight, then sigh in longing when Din pulls your hips flush against his.

“Just one more, pretty girl,” he mumbles, close enough now that his helmet touches the side of your face.

With every bit of self control you have, you point the gun one more time at the final can and take the shot. By some miracle it hits, even though you can't focus on it anymore. Once the can hits the ground, the blaster is wrenched out of your hand, and you're quickly spun around and lifted. You find yourself being thrown over his shoulder, making you squeal and whine.

“Din,” you gasp as he begins walking back into the ship.

Once inside, he puts you down in front of a crate and immediately starts pushing your jacket off, which you help him with. Once that's gone, he tugs at the hem of your shirt slightly, and you get what he's telling you to do. Soon enough, that's on the floor next to your jacket, and then joined by your boots and trousers, leaving you standing before him in your bra and underwear.

It feels a bit awkward to not be kissing him or touching his bare skin at least, but you know that won't happen. You don't even ask if you can remove some of his armour, worried that he will end this whole thing before it's even started. You're much too pent up to handle him doing that.

“Always knew you were so pretty,” Din breathes, his gloved hands trailing down your curves. Your breathing becomes heavy as he does, and your cunt is soaked now, leaving a wet patch on your underwear.

You feel his fingers begin to undo your bra, and soon it's forgotten on the floor as his hands cup your breasts, thumbs rubbing your hardened nipples. A moan escapes your mouth, and your head tilts back, eyes closing in ecstasy.

“Look at me, pretty girl,” Din tells you. His tone is soft, but it still feels like an order, so you obey him, opening your eyes and looking straight at his visor.

One of Din's hands travels down your body to between your thighs, cupping your sex, causing you to whine and buck your hips into his touch. All too quickly, his hands pull away, and you are about to reach out to grab them again, only to see him tearing off the gloves, revealing his tanned and lightly scarred hands.

Your breath catches in your throat at the sight. It's the most you've ever seen of him, and a part of you can believe how big his hands are even without the gloves. You have always wondered if it's just the armour that makes him look so large, but now you get the feeling that this isn't the case, especially when you look at his clothed cock. You feel tiny compared to him, and that just makes your body yearn for him even more.

Din slowly peels your underwear down your legs, leaving you completely bare in front of him. For a moment you feel bashful, wanting to cover yourself to hide from his intense gaze, but before you can think to do anything, his hands are on your hips, turning you around and pushing you down so you're bent over the crate.

His hands push your thighs open, leaving your glistening cunt exposed for him to see. You hear him let out a soft moan at the sight, and you can't help but smile shyly, happy that you're already pleasing him.

“So pretty and wet already,” Din mumbles, running his fingers through your folds, gathering your wetness. One thick finger circles your tight hole before slowly pushing in, drawing a deep groan out of you. It's only one finger, and it's already stretching you out so much. You have no idea how you'll manage to take his cock.

“It's too big,” you whine pathetically, pressing your face against the cold metal of the crate. Behind you, Din chuckles, curling his finger inside you.

“You can take it,” he encourages you, his tone soft and teasing.

His finger pushes against that sweet spot inside you, making you moan louder than you did before and causing your cunt to clench around his digit.

“Look at you, taking me so well,” Din muses before pushing another finger in and thrusting them both in and out of you quickly, stretching you out for him. You can't help but blush at his praise, feeling your pussy leak even more. The pleasure builds in your stomach, but you're still not quite there. At least, not until you feel his thumb rub your clit in slow, gentle circles.

You're too caught up in the ecstasy of this new move to notice him lining up a third finger until it's pushing into your warm, wet cunt, stretching you out until it hurts a bit. Thankfully, Din moves slowly, being careful with you. His free hand caresses your hip sweetly, soothing your body as it accommodates his thick fingers.

The mix of being stretched out and the feeling of his thumb rubbing your clit pulls an orgasm out of you quickly, your juices soaking his hand in the process.

“Din!” You whimper, your body trembling and shaking on the crate as the aftershocks run through you. You can't do anything but pant and grip the sides of the crate for support.

Din keeps pushing his fingers in and out of you until you whine from the overstimulation, then he pulls away from you entirely, giving you time to breathe. Your cunt clenches around nothing, sensitive but still longing for more, but you're not left desperate for long.

There's a rustling sound behind you, and soon you feel his thick, hard cock pressed against your twitching hole. You open your legs further subconsciously, eager to be full of Din after desiring this for so long. He rubs his cock up and down your slit, gathering your wetness on the tip and slowly driving you mad. You want him inside you, and you can't take anymore teasing.

“Please, Din,” you whine, your words full of desperation. You are truly thankful that Din seems quite willing to indulge you today in anything you ask for.

One hand grasps your hip gently while the other guides his length into your wet pussy, filling you slowly until his hips are flush against yours and his cock is deep inside you, stretching you out much more than his fingers did.

The pain from the sensation takes a little while to get used to, even though it adds to the pleasure you are already feeling. Din, even though he must be just as aroused as you are, waits patiently for you to adjust to his size. In the meantime, both of his large, rough hands caress your hips and waist, giving you comforting squeezes as he waits for you to get comfortable. Soon enough, the pain ebbs away and is replaced with a growing need, which draws out a whine from you and has you pushing your hips back as much as you can, giving him the signal to move.

Din starts off slow, pushing into you gently so you can get used to the feeling, and you're thankful for that. It's been quite a while since you have been with anyone. His hands grip your hips tighter though as he fucks you.

“You're so tight,” Din groans, leaning down to be closer to you. “Even after I stretched you out.”

All you can do is hum in agreement, unable to answer him properly with the pleasure coursing through your body with each thrust of his hips. Another orgasm is already building up inside you, but you know him fucking you isn't enough to make you cum.

Your hand shakily grasps one of his and leads it down to between your legs. It's an awkward position, given that you're pressed against the crate, but Din manages to manoeuvre his hand between the crate and your cunt, pressing two fingers against your clit and rubbing it rough and fast, fucking you faster at the same time.

Groans and moans spill from your mouth, but over that noise you can hear his soft panting, barely detectable, but his modulator is just able to catch it. Something about knowing that you have the same effect on him as he does on you has your cunt tightening around his length, making him groan and drop his head against your back, the cool beskar providing some relief for your hot and sweaty skin.

“You take me so well,” Din grunts through the helmet. “It's like you were made for this.” His words draw another whine from you, and he chuckles. “You like that? You want me to fill you up, pretty girl?” You nod at his words, though you can't even take them in fully, too distracted by how close you are to cumming for him, your body shaking from how sensitive your pussy is with his cock filling you up and his fingers harshly rubbing the little nub between your legs. “You'd look so good with my cum leaking out of you. Bet you'd look even better with your belly full of my child.”

It's those words that finally have you letting go, cumming around his length and crying out with tears in your eyes that soon run down your cheeks. Your body shudders with the intense overstimulation brought on by two orgasms. Din keeps fucking into you, rubbing your clit slower as you spasm around his thick cock.

“Good girl,” he cooes, his hips still snapping into yours. “You feel so good around me.”

All you can do is whine and blush when he praises you. Words have never made you feel so good before, but it isn't surprising that a man you have craved for so long would have you feeling this way. It would be even better if you could feel more of his skin against yours, but you're in no position to complain when he can already make you feel so good like this.

You slowly begin to come down from your high when all of a sudden Din pulls out of you with a hiss, and you want to whine that he should cum inside you. Just as you're about to tell him that you have an implant, however, Din begins to lift you up by your hips and turns you around, making you sit on the crate with your legs spread, your juices leaking out of your cunt onto the surface below you.

“I want you to look at me when I cum inside you,” Din orders you, but despite this, his tone is tender.

You spread your thighs open more as he once again pushes his cock into your wet folds, causing you both to sigh in bliss as he fills you up once again. You look directly at his visor as he starts thrusting again. His pace is fast and rough, as one hand grasps your hip while the other digs into your thigh. Your hands keep gripping the crate as your overstimulated cunt accommodates his thick length.

“Din,” you gasp, feeling sore already, but you don't want him to stop yet, not until he's cum deep inside you. You wrap your legs tightly around him, crossing your ankles to keep him close.

“Gonna fill you up, pretty girl, and you're gonna take it,” Din growls as his thrusts grow sloppy, showing how close he is to his own orgasm.

“Yeah, I'm gonna take it all,” you gasp, keeping your eyes on him.

With that, Din groans as he cums, his cock twitching inside you as it fills you with his seed. He pushes himself flush against you, looking at your face as he pants and groans. You can't see his eyes, but you get the feeling that they're trained on you, watching you bite your lip and gasp as you feel him fill you to the point you're sure that it will leak out when he pulls out.

Din keeps thrusting until he has nothing left to give, and then he stops moving, pulling you close to his beskar-covered body. Even through the armour, you can feel him tremble slightly. Your arms hesitantly rise up to wrap around his shoulders, looking for some comfort after being fucked so good. Din wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer.

“That was amazing,” you whisper as you rest your head on his shoulder, appreciating the cold beskar against your warm skin. Din chuckles quietly at your words, squeezing your waist affectionately.

“It was,” he replies, and you get the feeling that he's got a grin on his face.

You stifle a yawn as your body grows tired. Din sees this, and his hands move to your thighs, gripping them tightly as he picks you up. You keep your legs wrapped around his waist and allow him to carry you to the bunks. Surprisingly, he puts you in his bunk instead of yours, slowly pulling out of you and laying you down on the bed. You detach yourself from him, and he pulls away for a few moments, leaving your line of sight.

Din comes back with a wet cloth, gently wiping your thighs and sensitive pussy, drawing a small whine from you due to the stimulation. You can see he tries his best to be softer then, and soon enough you're clean. He proceeds to clean himself up then and fix his flight suit to look presentable once more and puts on his gloves. Following this, Din pulls the blanket over you and pats your thigh comfortingly.

“Get some sleep, little one,” Din cooes to you. “I'm going to go after the bounty. Take care of the place while I'm gone. You know how to defend yourself now.”

You laugh tiredly at that.

“Yes I do, but extra lessons might be nice.” You smirk up at him, rubbing your foot against his groin to tease him. He groans at that, but then chuckles and catches your foot before you can rub it against him anymore.

“I'll make sure you get them.”

[velvetvexations]

this is venting i'm just. aedjhfdalkjdhklajhdlkjh fucking youtuber drama bit me bit me bit me & it's related to the Tumblr Discourse Hell

there's a trans woman who has youtube videos and my primary association with her up to this point has been "brilliant." incredibly smart person. she's been accused of SA by three other much larger youtubers and the way i found out about it was because she released a video where she just categorically denied the allegations and read "Hot Allostatic Load" about a trans woman who was predator-jacketed in portland and how dangerous it is to accuse trans women of SA. and this was. immediately suspicious to me in a way i felt nasty about because it is dangerous and trans women are unfairly treated as predators for innocuous actions but it was like. the same type of "marginalized people are incapable of harm/facing consequences for doing harm bc too dangerous" thing that has been. so so toxic here. so she says that they're false and she has MOUNTAINS of evidence but she's being evicted and will deal with this/make a real public response in her own time. i don't even know what's alleged, just that something is and her only response is "I am a trans woman, you can't accuse me." so i'm like. this is weird and i'm just gonna avoid it until something is more clear. like even knowing what the allegations are for example bc the only place to see them is a locked patreon post.

so she releases this other video that's just a long stream of her talking and it's a lot more of the same & she uses the phrase "crying rape" and threatens to release the full complete discord logs of all her conversations with all of the people involved and still does not name any of the accusations and says it's because they're just trying to destroy her career. and now the victims release a link to the google doc statement about her because of the videos and it's just damning. like she proved several of their points by continuing the same behavior in her response to the allegations. very missing missing reasons. like i watched her thing first with no exposure to any statements by the victims and when she was like "we were So Much Closer than [victim] would admit to ANYONE," i'm like. maybe she didn't "admit" it because she did not feel intimate with you and you wouldn't accept it. your defense sounds like a consistent boundary issue to me, and ope i go look and that is exactly what [victim] said.

and it's like. i hate everything about this and i hate that my initial suspicions were correct and i hate that this is now A Thing like instead of hearing a trans woman say "i've been falsely/unfairly accused due to systemic biases, please interact with this situation with a greater degree of care," i have to be like. fucking suspicious!

i am sorry to essentially notify you that bad things are happening elsewhere in the world it's just. fuck! why is this spreading! why is this a thing now!

Timely, these past few days TRFs have especially gotten a bug up their ass about the few times I've said transbian separatism has a slight chance of going the way it went the last time that was attempted.

Should you tread lightly when trans women are accused of something? Yes, absolutely. Trans women ARE portrayed as predators in a cruel and malicious way on a regular basis. Be careful. Be patient. Verify to the best of your ability what's happening.

But, speaking as a trans woman who was harassed for years as a result of being groomed by an adult from an early age and was pedojacketed just a couple months ago with threats to get me blacklisted from publishing:

EVERYONE has the capacity to do harm

[tightensthebolt]

@ofbravedemons

Pfft, oh please, you know I'm too arrogant and cocky to trust anyone to take care of you but me. [I said in teasing response. I mean, although that was mostly true, I wasn't quite /that/ cocky. I knew there were plenty of trustworthy doctors here at Chastain. As shocking as it might be to hear me say, I trusted Bell. Devon and Kit too, for that matter. Thoughts I kept to myself as I remained unmoved at Billie's hospital bedside] Speaking of Gigi, be prepared for her to try to play "nurse" for you once I tell her you're here and bring her in to visit you. [I knew seeing Gigi would brighten up Billie's mood so it would only be a matter of time before I brought Gigi in here to visit. She was like sunshine in that sense. Still, until I was confident that Billie was up for company, Gigi's or otherwise, I'd let Gigi continuing to play in the school downstairs] But yeah, returning to Chastain is exactly what Gigi and I both need, I think. As thrilling as it was pumping rich alcoholics with banana bags to sober them up, I'm ready to return to some real form of medicine. [I added sarcastically before a light laugh followed. The truth was, I missed Chastain. I loved my job. Helping patients was my thing, so going all that time without getting to do what I loved was a rough transition, but I convinced myself that I did what was best for Gigi. She was already without her mother. I couldn't let her grow up without her dad too. Deep down though, I knew I hid from Chastain for as long as I did as a way to mask my own level of grief after losing Nic. A fact that Billie and the others all knew] Also, I don't know if now is the ideal time to bring this up, but when you're discharged from here, I was thinking you should stay with Gigi and I while you recover. I mean, you don't have to decide right now, but something I want you to consider, okay? [Billie practically lived at our house anyway since she helped me look after Gigi when I was working, but I knew this would be a full time thing as oppose to the occasional thing. Either way, I had a feeling she'd agree to my offer... Probably cause she knew I didn't plan to take "no" for an answer, but it really could go either way, I guess. Regardless of what Billie decided though, I'd make sure I was there for her no matter what]

Continued.

@tightensthebolt

Feeling small almost broken. It had been years since Billie had let her fall apart from that night. The night she lost a piece of herself. A night she had stopped trusting men and relationships. Not to say Billie didn’t spend time with men since she was 13 because that was a lie. She slept with men that wanted no strings, that were one night stands. She built herself up, she put herself onto a pedestal because she wanted to protect herself. Two dreadful days in her life; the day she found out she had been taken advantage of by Porter and that same day she found out she was pregnant. The other was a vague memory of holding her son for the first and last time before she let him go. 

A toll she now carried with her, all the demons she hint to be the surgeon she was. Numbness, emotionless it’s who she was. To avoid being hurt. But the looming truth of Porter his crimes sitting in the backburner it now haunted her. Billie had to consider Trevor which is why she had stayed silent, AJ had warned her the birdy in her ear to let her know her son wanted to find his dad; and she lied. She felt helpless even now as she felt on edge. She felt Conrad’s syspathic gaze, it was sweet he didn’t try to tell her he understood, instead he fought his own anger urges; the tightness of the line veins on his forehead; on his neck said it for him. Instead he was just a friend; someone she could lean on. A gentle smile a real one lifted to her brims as she pushed her coffee into her hand. She was preoccupied enough to reject coffee which was the indication Billie was far from okay.

“ Thank you, for being an ear, for not telling me you understood. I don’t want to feel broken. I’m better than this.” Brokenness written in her voice when it cracked. She hated being vulnerable so she was almost relieved when Conrad changed the topic to his debate on career moves. Billie offered a gentle smile as she lifted herself onto her feet. Forgotten coffee had fallen to the trash as hands fell to her sides. She listened intently to Conrad speak; she understood. She did. Because since Nic; he never wanted GiGi to be without a parent or feel abandoned it was part of the why he went to a private practice to begin with. Why we were forced to have coffee meet ups with my busy schedule, being the Chief of Surgeon now; the title made my heart leap on its own content. The brunette gave a silent nod as she stepped outside as he held the door for them both. 

Not that Billie didn’t see Gigi all the time, I spent Sundays at the house, we had little tea parties, and if Conrad ever had to work late I’d be the one he called to help him. We were family; Nic’s absence was heavy in our hearts; but I knew Nic, she would never want him to give up on his dreams, and it sounded like he was settling for what worked best for Gigi. I could tell with the way he spoke regarding the private Practice. A hand extended out to pat his forearm touch lingered briefly. 

“ It wasn’t all Bell.” Lips pulled together in amusement. “ At my Tea Parties with GiGi I may not have mentions all the rainbow fish books she adores on full display, along with the astronomy books I know she’d love. Cause she’s a astronaut in the making, Hate to break it to you.” A laugh escaped her lips as she dropped her hand before turning serious as our walkway path inched closer to Chastian. “ I think you’re settling for her benefit. And Nic wouldn’t want that for you or her. Talk to Kit explain you’ll come back but shorten hours only work morning shifts unless emergency came up. That you’re a devoted dad, but you do desire to return. But on your terms.” Conrad was a big part of our team; something told me Kit would give him whatever he wanted if it meant Conrad was a doctor had Chastian again. 

Just my two cents.

[chosesun]

i'm trying to find the motivation to do things, but man it's been hard. i think i just overwhelmed myself again which is why i haven't been answering things here. i just have too much to do and it's stressing me out. don't worry, i'm not dropping any threads or anything, i'm just taking my time to do them. please be patient with me. i'll definitely get things answered at least by wednesday if i'm still overwhelmed with everything the next couple of days.

[gotchibam]

Hello!! I'm currently accepting pokemon ko-fi doodle requests :)

Pricing is $15 per pokemon! You can request up to 3 pokes in one doodle (+$15 for each extra pkmn). Please limit your request to existing pokemon only (no fusions / custom designs), thank you! <3

Doodle request page: https://ko-fi.com/gotchibam/commissions

Queue / backlog of requests: https://trello.com/b/ty1kyZec/gotchibam-pokemon-ko-fi-doodles

Signal boosts are very much appreciated 🙏🙏🙏 Thank you so much for supporting me & my work!! ;w;

[apollos-olives]

i've been verifying a lot of fundraisers recently but please remember that i do not normally verify fundraisers and i only do so on the request of gazans reaching out as a last resort! please respect my boundaries and don't ask me if fundraisers are verified or not when you can check for yourselves easily. thanks 🫶🫶

[canisalbus]

just a quick ask to tell u it makes me super happy seeing the detail u go into when pointing out stuff u like about other people's art of ur ocs :3 it's so rare to see but it's so so motivating!! <3

Thank you! I don't take any interest for my art for granted, and if someone goes through the trouble of drawing my characters for me, I feel like trying to write a proper response is the least I can do. For a visually oriented person, receiving gift/fan art is a huge deal, it means someone considered my goobers worth their time and effort, they've probably been thinking about them more than a little and found them inspiring in a way or another, and I find that terribly flattering. It's extremely fun and interesting to see other people's takes on them. And I've drawn stuff for people as well, I know how nice and rewarding it feels to receive a response that is longer than a word or two. Positive comments like that can linger in people's minds for a long time, at least for me they do.

[write-it-motherfuckers]

Sorry Darlings, no prompts today. We had really bad wind here last night, and the power has been going in and out ever since. Thankfully they are already checking the lines to figure out where the fault is, but for now there’s nothing I can really do but try and preserve as much battery as possible. 

Please bear with me Darling ones, and make sure you’re taking care of yourselves 🖤

[justablah56]

hmm I think instead of feeling bad I will simply project this bad onto The Character . for funsies .

[tardis--dreams]

Feeling homicidal at work today ♡

[fontasticcrablettes]

@eltehh replied to your post “@kelleon replied to your post “Who was a WORSE...”:

*D2 spoilers* At least the timeline is fixed and Stahn is shown parenting Kyle at the end of the game, which is wholesome as heck. Anyway Stahn can do no wrong

​Oh thank god.

Anyway. Overall reminder I guess that I include characters I don't know or games unfamiliar with (or even played once but wasn't really a fan of) because I think it's fun to do things for the broader Tales community. But I also am just one guy who is primarily focused on Vesperia or Symphonia 99% of the time and I'm trying my best.

[daedelweiss]

I stumbled across the first pages of your comic a while ago, are they all that exists of the story? Is there a written version?

again, the story is only starting. we're only coming up to the end of episode one. if i had to provide an estimate on how long Life Mission will take to complete, it will take about 2 years. so please be patient and just enjoy the ride!

there won't ever be a written version of Life Mission (save for side content). i know people prefer content to churn out faster but i don't think fanfic is the right medium for Life Mission. plus, i've wanted to try my hand making comics for years. now that i have the resources for it, i want to make it happen.

[i-can-sabotage-me-bi-myself]

Here's another teaser for "How'd We End Up Like This?" Enjoy! 2nd chapter will be out soon!

You face Leon, him patiently watching you, and you rest your calloused hands on his chest, and begin softly scrubbing circles onto his battered skin. He looks at you with such softness in his eyes that you swear is gonna make you melt, even further when he lightly traces his fingers up and down your arms. You rest your forehead against his, expressing your affection in the deepest form of intimacy. With him you feel safe, and you never want him to let you go. He presses a gentle kiss to your forehead and is soon peppering every inch and detail of your face with kisses, and finally joining his lips with yours.

Taglist (Lemme know if any of y'all would like to be tagged!):

@so-mordor-itis