#i'm deeply entertained by this
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I remember seeing some people talk about what were the last two afghan jews back when there were still two in the country and how almost... silly and comical it was that they still couldn't get along with each other but like... Imagine being the only two people of a minority group in your entire country because everyone else ran away, were intimidated into fleeing, or were killed. Maybe I'm a killjoy, but I really never found it funny to think of them having petty disputes because, like, obviously people in high-stress situations are going to be more prone to argument and disliking each other. Obviously when your sacred texts are stolen, when your community is snatched away, when you aren't sure if you'll be taken prisoner for the last time and never return... Obviously you're not going to be primed to interact with others pleasantly.
When you look up afghan jews, you'll find this.
#jumblr#jewish politics#antisemitism tw#personal thoughts tag#how can you not realize that there are (officially) NO afghan jews in afghanistan and not feel primal fear#'isn't it funny that the last two jews in the entire country still found ways to fight with each other?!'#i'm going to spontaneously combust just to send the shrapnel of my body everywhere. what is funny about that.#yes wikipedia is Not the ideal source. this was just an accessible visual of the figures#and maybe i'm readong too into it. maybe it is just human pettiness#but i've seen this attitude among non-jews where they find jewish suffering of ANY kind to be popcorn-worthy entertainment#the fact that there are countries that are (at least officially) jew-free should send shockwaves down your nervous system#no country has the right to be jew-free#i would rather be too sensitive to antisemitism and indifference toward jewish suffering than to be callous and apathetic and cruel#so if i'm looking too deeply into this... that is why
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The Byler miscommunication in Season 4, and why I find it so interesting
This is a continuation/inspired by what I said in this post, you can think of it as a preview of this.
Miscommunication plots are usually hated in fiction, and it's easy to understand why. They're often trite and uninteresting, only existing by chance and contrivances to create pointless conflict. We all have seen that scene where a character walks in or out, at the exact wrong moment, and ends up making up a completely outlandish scenario, or completely misinterprets someone's intention while we're left sighing and hoping for the end. It's annoying, everyone hates it, but we all live with it regardless. You may then ask : why do I like the miscommunication conflict used in ST4 so much if I normally hate them ?
At its core, it is a miscommunication conflict, there's no real denying it. Mike and Will are somehow both convinced the other doesn't care anymore, despite the audience knowing that this assumption doesn't make much sense. The interesting part though is why they end up thinking so. Buckle up, and let me tell you a story of why this conflict was actually very well done on the part of the writers.
1) Backstory : Mike & Will's relationship before the conflict (S2 and before)
Mike and Will are presented as a special pair from the beginning of the show, I don't think this needs to be demonstrated here (there are countless analysis that have done so better than I ever could). During Season 2, we are shown a Mike who is constantly looking out for Will, and reaching out in ways that others do not. He tries to call the Byers' house to check up on Will when he misses school, and, most importantly, he's the only one who actually goes there to find Will when calling does not work. Put a pin on that, Mike going to see Will when calling fails will come back. This motif of Mike reaching out to Will is so fundamental that it is highlighted as being the very way they became friends. They were both alone and Mike reached out : "And I just walked up to you and… I asked. I asked if you wanted to be my friend."
(he's such a sweetie pie sometimes).
Mike is the leader of the group, and it really shows in this tendency to initiate things. It's easy to realise that, early in the series (and presumably before as well), Mike makes the plans to hang out. The writers use the D&D games to showcase that fact : they happen at his house, and he is the DM. He prepares them for weeks and clearly puts efforts into them, all so his friends can have fun with him. He initiates things and expect others to answer present : that's simply how he prefers to communicate. But what does that have to do with Will ?
Will as a character is reached out to in a lot of his interactions. The plot of Season 1 is heavily focused on reaching out to Will stuck in the Upside Down, be that with Joyce's lights or with El's powers (the talkies and the void both). Here, Joyce and El are allies in communication, and El particularly so where Mike is concerned. Put a pin on those two, they'll also come back (less positively unfortunately). However, Will as a character rarely initiate interactions. Will seems to strugle with opening up if the people around him don't make an active effort to reach out, which is why we so often see Jonathan and Mike actively asking him if he's okay and initiating their scenes. That's why Mike is such a good fit for Will : he knows how to coax him out of his shell and reach out, which Will treasures immensely.
The other side of the coin then is : why does Mike treasure Will ?
Will seems to be one of the rare characters to react positively to Mike being vulnerable, and one of the rare characters Mike opens up to in the first place. After all, most of his overtures of closeness with Nancy are rebuffed, his relationship with his mother is in an awkward middle ground between apparent care and lack of good worded communication, his friendship with Lucas tends toward confrontation in early seasons... Mike apparently struggles with expressing himself and his vulnerable emotions fully. Or well, he would, if it wasn't for Will, or so the show implies.
If we take the crazy together scene as an example of their usual friendship (which is up for debate, but I usually assume it to be the case), Mike feels comfortable enough with Will to calmly express his feelings towards El and her death, and they manage to meet each other in the middle, ending the scene with the mutual declaration that they'll go crazy together. This is a question initiated by Mike : Will is simply the one answering it. However, this exchange still puts Will in a pretty restricted and cherished category for Mike : someone who answers positively to Mike's overtures of closeness and vulnerability.
Interestingly enough, Mike asserts in that scene that El would understand too : after all, she's the one who understood him in Season 1, when Will was unreachable. Sadly, we see that understanding diminish with time, leaving Mike more and more isolated : two examples that come to mind would be the "blank makes you crazy" scene (where El fails to answer Mike correctly) and the complete shutdown of his attempt to empathise about being bullied during their Season 4 fight. (This is mostly a tangent, but it fits the overall theme of this analysis so I'll let it stay here)
Will answering positively to Mike's reaching out is also the one thing Mike chooses to highlight about their dynamic during Will's possesion, proving how deeply appreciated Will's answers are : "And you said yes. You said yes."
As Mike says : "It was the best thing I've ever done". Letting himself be vulnerable with Will, and Will reacting positively, was the best thing ever for 13 year-old Mike.
Do note that I'm French and the French version is specifically "[you saying yes] was the best thing that ever happened to me", which supports my point here even better. That probably colors my perception of this scene, but the underlying idea is still there in English in my opinion.
And Will rewards Mike being vulnerable again by responding extremely positively : he starts tapping in Morse code, an answer to Mike's desperate reaching out.
Now that we've layed out the ground work for how they work at their best, let's see what happens when this dynamic falls apart.
2) The big conflict : Season 3's fallout
It's summer of 1985, and Mike spends most of his time making out with El. He seemingly stopped reaching out to Will, or at the very least, doesn't do it half as much as he used to. Will, feeling left behind, decides to be the one to reach out this time : he plans a D&D game, the same way Mike used to do. This is Will attempting to clumsily replace Mike in their usual dynamic : if Mike doesn't want to initiate things anymore, then Will will try to do it instead. He quite literally replaces Mike's role as the DM (aka the initiator and planner in D&D), but the game still happens at Mike's : this is, after all, Will's way to reach out to Mike specifically. The others are never really accused of leaving Will behind, and rightly so since they seem to have kept up with him much better.
Unfortunately for Will, that plan does not go smoothly at all. Freshly-broken-up-with Mike is not in the headspace to answer positively to Will's reaching out, and they end up fighting, presumably for the first time in a long time (or ever) if Mike's surprise is anything to go by. Mike digs his grave more and more before realising that he truly fucked up, and decides to try to fix things by, you guessed it, reaching out to Will. He bikes to Will's house under the pouring rain, profusely apologises (not that Will actually hears it, but the intent is there), and keeps looking for Will until he finally finds him at Castle Byers. Unfortunately for Mike, this is too little too late : we never get to see Will's answer, nor do we know what Mike did to apologise once he found him. The conflict is slipped under the rug rather than resolved (as Lucas' discussion with Will in the next episode highlights). What Will learns from this interaction is that reaching out to Mike when Mike fails to do so isn't a solution : it simply seems to make things even worse.
Fast forward to the end of the season, and Will uses D&D to get this point across : "I'll just use yours when I come back. I mean, if we still wanna play." Whatever happens next, Will leaves it to Mike to reach out.
Mike reaches out to Will one last timen before he leaves : "What if you want to join another party ?" And Will answers the exact thing Mike wanted to hear : "Not possible." Both of them end up seemingly on the same page : back to their usual dynamic, smiling brightly at each other with an unsaid promise that things won't change. Unfortunately, things do change, and not for the better.
3) Post-conflict : THE miscommunication (Season 4)
It's March of 1986, and Mike is on a plane to California. We know from the first episode that Mike and El sent each other letters, but we have no information on the communication between Will and Mike. Then comes their first meeting on screen and it is more than awkward.
Will is prepared for a big hug, yet Mike is keeping his distance for unknown reasons. It's obvious something happened on Mike's side between their last conversation and this, but what it exactly is is left up to our imagination for now.
The start of an answer is given in their fight at Rink-O-Mania : "[Mike] called maybe a couple of times [...] meanwhile [El] has like a book of letters from [him]". Whatever happened on Mike's side isn't a one time thing, but a continuous issue in communication between them. Mike seemingly doesn't want to reach out to Will anymore, leaving Will hurt and feeling abandoned by one of his favourite persons. (Jonathan's behaviour in California also does not help remedy that fact, since he has never been as distant from Will as he is this season)
However, a few episodes later, we are given a very strange piece of information by Dustin : "Joyce has this telemarketer job, she's always on the phone. Mike won't stop whining about it." Now why would Mike whine about the phone, if he barely even called Will ? It's not like Mike was calling El, we established both at the end of Season 3 and at the start of Season 4 that they communicate by letters (as Will confirms) and talkies. A plausible conclusion for those two pieces of information is then that Mike did reach out to Will more than Will thought, but just couldn't get through. (this is the conclusion I use in this analysis, even if it has not been confirmed to be the case)
But wait, remember that pin about what Mike does when phone calls don't work to reach Will ? He goes directly to his house. A shame that the Byers moved to the other side of the country then, wouldn't you say ? Mike is therefore left to stew in his hurt feelings, convinced that Will doesn't want to answer like he used to. With that, Mike loses one of the rare persons that he can be fully honest to (and as we've established, El's understanding of Mike is also looking worse and worse as time passes).
The move is an obstacle to the very premise of their communication, and that's what makes it a great conflict. Will feels like Mike doesn't want to reach out anymore, and Mike feels like Will doesn't want to answer. This isn't a conflict that exists in spite of the characters, but because of them.
Speaking of external obstacles to communication, remember that pin we put on Joyce and El being allies in communication ? Well, it's certainly not the case anymore. Here, Joyce is the obstacle that prevents Will from answering Mike's calls. And El is the obstacle that prevents Mike from reaching out by letters. As he puts it himself, "[El] has a book of letters from [him] because she's [his] girlfriend". And Will, who obviously isn't Mike's girlfriend, doesn't need letters.
And with those informations, we can now reconstruct what happened on Mike's first day in California.
Mike is feeling out of touch with Will ("I feel like I lost you") and is therefore awkward as hell. This makes Will think Mike doesn't want to talk to him anymore ("you're not interested in anything I have to say"), which means Will doesn't answer the way Mike wants ("you were rolling your eyes, you were moping, you were barely talking"), which leads to their fight. That whole day at its core is Mike failling to initiate correctly, which makes Will freak out and answer incorrectly : this is them not being on the same wavelength anymore, and a clear indication that their usual dynamic has been deeply disturbed by the last few months (or year, because as Joyce says, we're all time travelers, but especially if you're gay pining for your best friend).
Another very interesting detail to me is the implication that, while Will clearly still cares about Mike, wanting a big hug at the airport, we hear very little about Will's own attempts at reaching out. Mike points out the same thing when they fight : "Well maybe [Will] should've reached out more. Why am I the bad guy ?". And he isn't wrong per se. Will could/should have reached out more. But given their previous conflict in Season 3, and their history of communication before that, Will didn't feel comfortable reaching out. He tried last summer, and it ended up blowing up in his face : once bitten, twice shy. He's waiting for Mike to make the first move, even if that means not communicating at all. Will won't let himself ask more of Mike than Mike is willing to give him, or so he tries to convince himself as a deeply ashamed gay teen in the 80s (he does still get pissy about being the third wheel, which is understandable). It's a very juicy and dramatic series of events, but it still manages to feel very organic to me, and deeply in character. Will is more than understandable, despite being somewhat in the wrong and unknowingly self-sabotaging. Another interesting part is that Will himself does seem to come to the conclusion that he wasn't being entirely reasonable. When Mike comes to apologise, Will attempts an apology as well (quickly shut down by Mike though), because Mike's words made him recontectualise the situation.
In that same apology, they manage to make the first step towards fixing their relationship. Now that the situation allows it, they go back to the exact dynamic that worked out so well for them before : Mike initiates and seeks Will out with an overture of friendship, and Will answers gratefully (even grabbing his painting, the very proof of his love and understanding of Mike).
Later down the line, Will covertly apologises for not reaching out more : "if [I] was mean to you, or if [I] seemed like [I] was pushing you away, it's probably because [I'm] scared of losing you". Since this comes from his speech about the painting, Will's name isn't on those words, but it's still progress for Will to admit and word it aloud, even if it's only to himself.
Besides, feelings don't always need to be said (as they put it themselves "I didn't say it." "You didn't have to"). The painting itself is proof enough for Mike that Will thought about him despite the distance. Mike really needed to know that, more than he needed an apology. Will finds the right answer to reasure Mike in the van scene, and they truly fix their friendship there (for now at least, since Mike has yet to realise Will broke their other rule of communication : "friends don't lie").
This plot is very dear to my heart because both of them have fucked up and hurt each other (and themselves) without meaning to. They acted out of carefully built familiarity with the other's behaviour (but also informed by their unresolved fight) even when the situation itself didn't allow their usual communication to work. That's why it blows up in their face, leading to the Rink-O-Mania fight. But this deep familiarity is also why they're so quick to build their relationship back up, seemingly stronger than ever. This is miscommunication done right folks, take notes.
#byler#stranger things#stranger things analysis#will byers#mike wheeler#stranger things character analysis#Wow this was a doozy to write#anyway they're the pookiest ever and I love them#I love it when my childhood friends act like childhood friends who know each other deeply#especially when that's exactly what bites them in the ass#tagging Byler even if it's not technically romantic#I'm sure everyone on that tag will enjoy this regardless#I hope this is as entertaining to read as it was for me to write#my analysis
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A mood board for your viewing pleasure
#emynn.op#idk man I know there are a LOT of shitty things on this planet#but it's so much easier to get through the day when you focus on things you enjoy#rather than what makes you miserable#just trust#it's a lot more fun#anyway I'm reading about the celebrity six excitement/fallout and am deeply entertained
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One of the biggest problems of writing that Frasier post is that the logic of 90s comedies is not real life logic. It's not just that you can just pick which exaggerated thing to believe more (and sometimes you need to outright pick between two mutually excluding canon facts), but also the degree to which you believe anything. Which is fun for theorizing but also terrible for theorizing because to argue one way or another you need to create the fiction that the coherent narrative you are pointing out has value of truth in a universe where the value of truth is the rule of funny.
#This I'm saying about Frasier applies to others btw of course#like The Nanny suffers from those very same problems too#plus prestige tv in the early 2000s really messed with people's understanding of the extreme make-up-as-you-go quality of older tv#It's acknowledged with Cheers for the most part#But like yes Maris becomes more and more of a monster as seasons go by because the creators did take a direction after a few seasons#but seasons 1 and 2 at the very list (of Frasier I mean) are VERY undecided on whether they are going to save Niles and Maris' marriage#or take the Daphne route#And there's so much about expected genre tropes and the structure of sitcoms involved in those decisions!#the rule of funny being the main rule of a world above that of coherence and plausibility truly is a double edged sword#Like I'm confident I can write a narrative as to why Maris is actually not a monster at all in the first seasons of Frasier#And that at the very least some of the jokes are not meant to be taken seriously#but then to prove that I would have to point out all the times the narrative shows Niles mirroring Maris' bad traits#which of course are also ruled by the rule of funny!#Niles worrying about Maris ogling the pool boy while he's been ogling Daphne#Niles talking fondly of how one of their favorite past times when they were just married#was to laugh at people who wore white after labor day!#someone else could of course believe THESE are the ones played more for comedic effect#and believe the meanness of Maris as more real#(again still talking those early seasons)#and like it's not that serious#horrible people can be entertaining and comedy capitalizes on that#it's the emotional equivalent to the physical violence in old cartoons#it's not supposed to be realistic and taking it to be so is silly#on the other hand reimaging how the characters and the story could go in different directions#if the story WAS a drama is deeply compelling#but then how to convey you are just having fun theorizing the dramatic possibilities of unserious comedy#without coming across as if you were taking the comedy to be a drama#see the tough spot I'm in
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My controversial jjk take is that mahito should've remained the main threat/antagonist throughout the whole thing
#the thing with sukuna was that despite all his efforts to be a curse he was ultimately deeply human#and as powerful of a threat as he was that fact would never go away (which is why his ending was a sort of second chance/redemption)#same with kenjaku to an extent#kenjaku finally found someone to keep them entertained for a long. long time and not abandon them like tengen.#their reason to change was also deeply human they were very starved for company/connection in a way that most mortal humans couldn't provide#meanwhile mahito wants none of that#mahito's entire existence is an antithesis to every positive human emotion he literally is the only lasting permanent scars on yuuji#I feel like gege fumbled the human/curse dichotomy in the story the moment it became about people vs people#bc the story became way more focused on individual good and bad apples as apposed to the whole that it started out being about#I feel like gege bringing mahito back for the final conversation was him acknowledging this#gege could've still had gojo die by sukuna's hand and have the whole shinjuku showdown play out#but then it could've continued to be about the curses the story started out wamting to eradicate#sukuna was never the 'sole' only problem in the world he was merely an example of what this system makes#I feel like gege just gave up on those bigger picture themes for the purpose of shallower but character focused conclusions#which doesn't work for me at all tbh#the people who inherited the sorcery world might not be as bad as the original higher ups but they are NOT good#this is better but only just barely#jjk spoilers#jjk 271#idk i'm rambling
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lmfao ppl have already sleuthed out that they're building novac sets for s2 and i've already seen the fic writers getting ready for 'there's only one bed' tropes and i am dying y'all
#.ooc ( dani is an asshole )#there's a motel there.....for folks that don't know#but i'm cracking up bc that would be VERY entertaining#tho coop would......most DEFINITELY just sleep on the floor lmfao#i mean honestly i can't imagine EITHER of them would entertain the idea of them both using the only bed tbh#i mean ig it would depend exactly how early they end up there but still#i can't really imagine lucy is like 'yeah i'll let this Thing that tried to sell me for drugs sleep beside me'#as is she's probably only mildly reassured to close her eyes around him bc the dog is there and she trusts THE DOG#i figure that even tho he's clearly changed how he thinks of her by having invited her along calmly and allowing her to choose to follow#him or not#she's still wary of him......#i know the show takes place post the nv game....but man i would be fascinated to see coop see nipton....#i think he'd throw up i'm not even kidding#that is DEEPLY disturbing to him#like he's seen a lot and DONE a lot. but. that's a whole other level to him#anyway i'm getting carried away here#i gotta get some work done
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Ne'er for a moment did I doubt that thou wouldst triumph over thy foe--yet the majesty of thine achievement delighteth me nonetheless!
#sometimes i'm just deeply entertained by everyone's enthusiasm for the warrior of light#ariane clairière#urianger augurelt#shb spoilers#ariane in shb#annecaps#ffxiv screenshots
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how to make a character who sucks so bad and nobody likes him but he is genuinely a good protagonist (good as in interesting, maybe on a rare day good as in decent but also, just like, an incredible jackass) . i need to make him worse i need to make him MEANER!
#i think the key to getting this kind of character right is that he can't try to be anybody's boss#that's not the fun and engaging kind of jackass that's just reminding the reader of all the bosses they've hated in their time#the engaging and likeable Guy Who Sucks So Bad is a loner who might CLAIM that he will take over the group or whatever and lead#but never actually has any intentions of doing so because part of the things he sucks re: is responsibility of any kind#he does however know that leaders dont like other people horning in on their territory so he will say things like#i'm gonna wreck your shit and then all your lackeys will follow ME! ouahahahahaha . despite having zero plans to follow up with that#the ideal engaging asshole protagonist is a rebel without a good cause: maybe he has a sad backstory; maybe he's just a dick#but if there's one thing about him you can count on it's that he is Opposed To Shit. doesnt matter what it is his primary entertainment#is picking a fight with it for no reason and then saying what the fuck ever i didn't care about it anyway (he didn't)#ideally this is all done in such a way that he is SEXY . but you'd never want to hang with him because he is deeply obnoxious#he is not bossy. he is not controlling. he is maybe even a bit of a wife guy except he hates everyone else and wants to make their day wors#because making someone else's day worse makes HIS day better . the ideal wife for him is the one from ordinary day with peanuts#by shirley jackson#and i have GOT to figure out a way to engineer this guy without copying examples of my favorite versions of him wholesale#i have the scaffolding. but because of my own confrontation-averse tendencies#im terribly concerned that i will never be able to actually make him the asshole he was born to be#q
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I feel so clueless on how jokes work. I know what makes people laugh, and I can repeat what makes them laugh so I can be funny, but I still don't understand the joke itself. I know how to make people laugh but I don't understand WHY it elicits laughter
#I don't understand people. I don't understand how socializing works#It's like I'm pretending to be a person who understands social cues#I know how to impersonate allistics but I don't know why they are laughing#It's a fun house mirror but I don't see my own reflection#you know?#Even with other autistic people I just still. Don't understand so many jokes that circle the internet and in real life conversations#I wish I could understand why people enjoy something so deeply while laugh#I swear to god I'm autistic. but no one in the system understands it#like#I understand the ADHD is so strong in others they just don't understand the subtle autistic traits#Everytime I talk to anyone it just feels like a weird inside joke that I wasn't there for#except I WAS there#the things I do find funny... sometimes others laugh along but it still feels so separate on what others find entertaining#sounds are just too much. all the time#I can't think about how loud a sound is without just wanting to...#remove my brain or something#I think being autistic is so painful. Not to get really real but I'm#so tired of just not understanding anyone around me or getting so overwhelmed by the slightest thought of a interaction to anyone#and everyone I know#ah.#I could go on forever. I just need to watch season three so i stop fronting#txt#autism is so hard. guys.
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it's hard to joke about samurai flamenco (my beloved) bc while I'm not a person who cares about spoilers, I realize I'm in the minority here and a lot of people think the best way to experience the show is to go in completely blind. but like... guys... I cannot stress this enough [spoiler spoiler spoiler oh my god spoiler] but that boy went to the moon and met god, the literal universe itself. he was even gay. if you even care.
#will be completely honest when i first watched the show#i think in 2015 ? after it had finished airing but not that much after#i completely bounced off it at episode 7 and i was like... this will probably be the dumbest thing i've even watched but i don't know#if it's a good dumb or a bad dumb yet#so i literally looked up what happened#and i was immediately like OOHHHH so that's what it's doing that's amazing#and binged the rest#still deeply stupid but god it was entertaining#i am still obsessed#rip manglobe sorry you went bankrupt but it samflam contributed to that i'm sorry it was worth it#reilly.txt#samurai flamenco
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well I just became aware of the existence of “amazon one” a few minutes ago and, aside from the other entire pile of Nope going on with that, there’s always just... a few questions I have for the marketing teams at biometrics companies.
because every one of them that I’ve seen always seems to have a statement along the lines of (in amazon’s case), “your [insert relevant body part] is a unique part of you; it doesn't go anywhere you don't and can't be used by anyone but you” as one of their selling points.
and the only conclusion I can come to at this point is that they must a) lack a certain kind of imagination, and b) all clearly be suffering from terminal Didn’t-Read-The-Artemis-Fowl-Books-As-A-Kid disease
#rambling#raise your hand if you're a proud part of the demographic I'm calling#'didn't really even know what biometric security was#prior to learning that if worst comes to worst you can always beat it by cutting off (and reattaching if you're nice) someone's thumb'#really though. 'your palm doesn't go anywhere you don't go' = instant 'deeply entertained xue yang reaction gif'
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This has zero bearing on the bracket and is not actually relevant, to be clear; it's only because I'd forgotten I was playing a wizard today while I was making the bracket and thought it was funny as hell when I remembered, and these two are simultaneously the same and polar opposites on the chaos fey wizard spectrum.
#amana is deeply tragic functionally immortal and might rip apart the feywild to save her qpp#the satyr is in witness protection from the fey mob and attacked the local capitalist archfiend/bbeg in the general store alone#the disaster hubris in these bitches is IMMENSE#(also amana is the one I'm playing lol)#world wizard entertainment#just because it is funny lolol
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Man I can't believe I had the chance to go to a performing arts school up through middle school and I fuckin quit after 6 months just because I got bullied. BRO YOUR HOMEWORK WAS POETRY!! YOU HAD TO PRACTICE DANCING TO COTTON EYE JOE AS YOUR BIG UNIT TEST. GYM CLASS HAD A CIRCUS UNIT!! YOU HAD A WHOLE DAILY CLASS ON IMPROV!!! YOU FOOL!! YOU ABSOLUTE IMBICILE!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A YOUTUBER!!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN ONE OF THOSE TWEENAGERS GETTING LOADED BY MAKING SHITTY YOUTUBE SHORTS IN 2008-14!! But noooOoooOOOoo little miss Noellie (who WANTED TO GO!! who worked SO HARD and sent in an application essay and did an INTERVIEW to get in!!) couldn't handle disruptive classmates or little scuffles and petty grudges and general Attitude of the other students and cried to mommy to put her back in public school. I am EATING MY HAIR over what Could Have Been. I COULD BE SOMEONE'S ANNOYING YOUTUBER!! I could be a DISGRACED DISNEY CHANNEL STAR!! I could be an America's Got Talent winner! A mild to moderately successful comedian! I could be making short films!! But no no no precious thin skinned baby me heard a few new cus words and watched a teacher get heckled and begged to give up The Dream in favor of?? Quiet math tests?? I am such a fucking quitter I quit everything the second it gets too hard I always take the out as soon as it's offered what's my fucking damage.....
#I had SO MUCH POTENTIAL and I SQUANDERED IT!! weak ass third grade PUSSY! Your life could have been SO SICK!!#or you could at least be addicted to cocain or something interesting like that!! Boring ass goody two shoes always just staying home doing#NOTHING bitch make a REAL FRIEND go to a God Damn PARTY live a little instead of just hiding in the closet eating saltine crackers for years#waiting for it to be quiet outside before you ever even toed the line#mentally ill self-isolating motherfucker#you could have shrugged it off you could have GROWN A PAIR and FOUGHT BACK but you just ran and cried for mommy#victim complex little bitch baby always whining and exaggerating and making shit up fucking LIAR I am you and I KNOW what you did and I know#you knew it wasn't the truth and you regretted it the moment it came out of uour mouth but once you'd said it you just swallowed it back and#doubled down incriminating or discrediting others with your lies. For why? Because you didn't like them? You could have ruined someone's#life you wouldn't have hesitated mayhe you did and don't even remember because you cant keep your mouth shut with your pants ablaze#manipulative little shit and to WHAT END? Pity? Sympathy? Attention? Entertainment?? What was even going on in your stupid ugly head?#This is a callout post for my third grade self that possessed demon ass evil nine year old. That kid drowned anthills in olive oil and#poisoned a wild animal once. That kid cut plants just to see if they oozed. That kid modified her whole ass personality on a dime for a boy#she had a crush on. INSTANTLY dropped a LIFELONG CULTURAL ALLEGIANCE (thats what football teams were like back then in our town) because he#said he had the opposite allegiance??? What the fuck? girl had NO integrity none zip zilch.#No empthy either that kid looked at everyone else on earth like they were friggin space aliens and she was the only one with Real feelings.#bitch literally thought like 'I have Feelings they just have Reactions' bitch what the fuckkkkk#that nine year old was fucked the hell up!!!#and for literally NO REASON!! No cause!! Just born fucking evil and weird. jesus fuck.#Evil ass bitch caused her autistic brother months of nightmares and then laughed about it and wrote poetry about how evil he was because he?#was a kid??? Normal sibling rivalry taken way way way too far defamatory ass statements#and this girl had NO CONSEQUENCES because she could lie and manipulate her way out of ANYTHING she had the baby eyes and the helpless charm#and played dumb soooo well . read people like some calculative evil AI scanning their faces for microexpressions and overanalyzing each word#choice like holy shit. its not That Deep. pretentious shit trying to play 5D chess on a checkers board.#Manipulating shit just to see what happens?? zero awareness?? no asking just skipping straight to testing for yourself??#'What happens if I step on this' it fucking breaks 'what does that taste like?' it's not fucking yours to mess with 'if I hit this person#how will they respond?' they'll be upset use your goddamn judgement you are NINE not TWO do you even care a little about any other person??#Are you just living in some other reality???#callout post for the fucking demon child inside of me#im so goddamn problematic I'm so so so deeply mentally disturbed and broken for no reason
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me: haha do you think butter counts as a type of ice cream
the comments section: *FROTHING AT THE MOUTH*
#lachrimae#once i argued with someone about this for like 2 hours#to this day we cannot remember which of us was arguing for which side#i'm getting 3 types of answers: yes no & FUCK YOU#i'm deeply entertained afjlsghksjdfs
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fic writers' self rec
Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let's spread the self-love 💞
I'm blatantly stealing this from @waveridden because I wanted the excuse to talk about some fic that I like. In no particular order:
Rise With The Fall (Persona 5) was my first stab at writing from Akechi's perspective and I had a lot of fun with that. This little guy has so many issues (affectionate). Also, and I know I talk about this constantly, I love any take on the Persona protagonists where they're aware of the limitations placed on them as a result of their role in the narrative. (What can I say, my first Persona game was 3.) The fact that Persona Q has regular dialogue from whichever protagonist you're not playing as haunts me. All of this is to say that Akira may be able to break Maruki's grip on his reality but he can't break mine.
Dazzling Blue Sky on the Window (Persona 3) is maybe a little bit cheating, since I wrote it as a birthday present for myself, but I love Metis, I love Minako, and I want to see what happens when you make the girl who refuses to let anyone see her emotions timeshare her soul with the girl who is literally incapable of suppressing hers. (I think the answer is that they kiss but that's not in the fic itself.)
devil he dragged me down (We Know the Devil) was an experiment in matching style and tone and I'm so pleased with how it came out. The world of the game is simultaneously emotionally specific and light on details, so working in the empty spaces there was a lot of fun.
Related, We Know Exolution (Friends at the Table) is the most ambitious project I've finished in at least five years and I think the final product is totally worth it. It's kind of the opposite of dhdmd in that now I was trying to match the tone and imagery of Twilight Mirage while still keeping the gameplay and theme of WKTD, and also now it's a twine game instead of a visual novel because my art skills are nonexistent. A fun fact is that the cover on itch is a photo I took from the train to my summer internship that was where I first got into fatt. I think it does a decent enough job of conveying the concept of instability masked by a pretty facade that's important to both the inspirations for WKE while also being a fun easter egg for me personally.
every stumble and each misfire (Ace Attorney) is a love letter to Sebastian Debeste and I have reread it multiple times in the last week. (I may be replaying AAI2.) I love when characters have to realize how bad things are in stages, and there is so much for Sebastian to unpack at the end of that game. I am definitely coming back to this topic but for now we have this and it's good.
I'm going to tag @randomidiocyncrazies and anyone else who sees this and is interested! I would love to see you brag about your fics.
#tag games#i write#ignore me#some miscellaneous other fics i considered:#rolling days (in which ritsu has a bad day in ways that entertain me)#the twist within this verbose mystery (don't know if the prose on this one holds up but i'm still so fond of the concept)#heaven knows how hard i tried (i think more characters are candidates than are literally candidates and we should talk about that)#and my fellow passerine (what if crona and death the kid were just two deeply silly kids. what then)#in general i think what i write and what i like reading doesn't necessarily overlap that much but these ones do slap and i'm proud of them
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didn't even hear about the shinee thing until just now and just.... *big disappointed yet not surprised sigh*
#I'm saying 'not surprised' not because I think key and taemin in particular are colorist(/racist) but becauae - from what I can tell - the#whole country is and especially its entertainment industry#being on tv there seems only possible if you're lighter than most Europeans or if make up and filters can at least make you look that way#plus with light skin being so closely linked to beauty (and youth and pureness?) and that's something idols are forced to maintain to keep#their careers.... it's no wonder that it's so deeply ingrained in them#just the other day an (I'm assuming native) English speaking radio MC of arirang kpop particularly took the time to mention how a male idol#(it was jun) didn't even look like he had just come out of the military because his skin looks oh-so-light and lovely#and he was so flattered that she'd noticed because apparently he had been slathering himself in sunscreen for months just so that 'his fans#would still recognise him and not run away'#like.... I know he was exaggerating for comedic effect.... but that's basically the messaging they receive
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