#i'm currently talking to a really cute girl but i've already been put off by like two different guys and one other girl... ugh

[butterflysonnets]

i miss my ex

[coolprettyleo]

screaming, crying, perfect storms - ryan leonard ☆

wc: 1.3k

tw: angst. new beginnings. depression. yelling?

ryan leonard x oc

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

frankie was doing good, cool, and fine. everything was just fine, and that little 'just' was enough to make everything not fine for the youngest hughes.

the girl felt stuck in a never-ending loop and she had no idea how to get out of it.

she had recently come to the realization that everyone she knew was making progress with their lives. they were either already doing what they loved or were working for it.

while she stood and watched, stuck. she didn't know what she loved; it's not like you can sleep in your boyfriend's arms for a living, right?

the poor girl was just bored with her life. sure, she had friends and a boyfriend and had finally managed to pass her classes, but at the end of the day, that's all she had.

she needed a change and she needed it fast.

frankie and summer were currently walking through the streets of nyc. frankie had fallen into a depression and summer being her best friend had decided to take her on a shopping spree in hopes to uplift the girls poor mood.

they had been playing around in one of the dressing rooms when a tall beautiful woman approached them.

"hi, I've been watching you two for the last twenty minutes, and you guys are gorgeous. my name is eloise simons, and I'm with IMG Models. I think you two would be perfect for this new summer collection; I'm going to give you two my card and you guys can go ahead and give me a call if you want to set a meeting up," the lady said, handing them a card that looked pretty legit.

the two girls looked at eloise speechless, not knowing whether or not she was joking.

"i know this is very out of the blue but I have a vision and a good feeling about you two and I just need to act on it" she said with a smile.

"thank you. we'll have to talk it over, though," summer said as frankie had seemed to go mute. the lady let out a smile.

"that's better than a 'no'. please, if you even have any questions or concerns, just give me a call." she said before bidding the girls goodbye as the best friends eyed each other with a wild look.

"if this is a prank, it's really mean," frankie said, breaking the silence.

"it's not," summer said, looking the number up and it, in fact, being real.

"oh my gosh, what are we going to do," frankie said as summer smirked.

"we have three months off" she cheekily smiled

"are you saying what i think you're saying?" frankie said

"a new york summer?" summer said excitedly as they both jumped up, squealing.

___

frankie walked into her apartment with about twenty bags to find ryan, will, gabe, jacob, drew, and aram sitting around her living room. playing video games.

"what the hell," she said, eying the boys as ryan stood up and helped her with her bags.

"you said i could invite the guys," ryan said with a smile

"I know, but it never sounds like a lot till I see them," she said as they all waved at the girl.

"wait, is summer back, too?" gabe asked as frankie nodded. the boy quickly stood up and bid goodbye to his friends before walking across the hall to his situationship.

"we're gonna head out too," will said, standing up, eyeing the rest of the boys who didn't move.

"i'm comfy" drew whined

"forts," will say with a glare as he huffed and stood up along with jacob and aram. the boys gave frankie a hug and bid ryan a goodbye before walking out.

"how was your day" ryan said as he put his girlfriends bags down.

"amazing! you won't believe what happened," she smiled, thinking about eloise.

"what happened? what did you even buy?" he asked nosily as he looked in some of the bags.

"a whole bunch of cute outfits. I bought you some things, too," she said as she pulled out some items in the bag for him.

"this is sick" he said as he eyed them. frankie smiled as he tried it on for her, watching him. she smirked before pushing him down onto the bed and straddling him.

"you look so handsome," she said, kissing his neck as he squeezed her sides.

"you're in a good mood," he smiled, looking at his girlfriend. he had been really worried about the mood his girlfriend had been in these last few weeks. she was either always mad or sad nowadays, and it made him happy to see her so happy.

"yup. I got a job today," she told him as ryan eyed her warily. don't get him wrong, he loved her but she was lazy. he thought hell would freeze over before she ever got a job, a job in new york as that.

"a job?" he said confused

"yeah, it's for the summer but if I like it I might end up doing it forever-"

"what kind of job is it?" he asked warily, seeing as she was tiptoeing around the fact of what the actual job was.

"modeling," she said as she squealed.

"you want to be a model?" he asked confused.

"well, I don't know yet. summer and I got scouted today and we want to give it a try. but if I like it I'm going to keep doing it" she explained

"what about college?" he asked. he was excited for her, really, but he was afraid she was being irrational. a thing he learned about his girlfriend is that she did things without putting much thought into them.

"well, I haven't thought that far, but I'll drop out if it comes to it," she said as ryan raised his eyebrows.

"why are you looking at me like that" she asked with a frown. she was honestly getting annoyed with how ryan was taking this. she was so excited and his reaction was honestly ruining her own.

"this is a big decision, frankie. I don't think you're thinking it all the way through-"

"i am thinking it through. that's why i'm only trying it-"

"you just said you're gonna drop out"

"I said if it came to it," she said, getting off his lap. she didn't like the way he was acting.

"i just think you're not thinking it through-"

"stop saying that! i'm not some naive little girl!" she said, getting frustrated and raising her voice.

"don't yell at me," he said in a serious tone that irked the girl to her core.

"I'll yell if I want." the stubborn girl stood her ground.

"i just want you to think about what you're doing-"

"I'm not some dumb kid, ryan!" she said taking the bags off her bed.

"well, you're acting like one," he said below his breath, but the youngest hughes had heard it, and it shattered her feelings. he knew one of her biggest insecurities, and he decided to gut her with it.

"get out," she said shaking her head with watery eyes

once ryan saw those sad eyes, he knew he screwed up.

"babe-"

"please just go. we'll talk tomorrow," she said, sniffling as he came to wrap his arms around her.

"I didn't mean that, I'm sorry," he said in her hair.

"i know. I just want to be alone, please," she said, pulling away.

ryan eyed the girl, his girl, wanting nothing more than to beg for forgiveness on his knees all night, but knew he screwed up and she needed her space. he nodded before kissing her cheek and walking out.

leaving frankie to sit, cry, and drown in her thoughts. more sure than ever that she was going to go through with this.

[spikedhe4rt]

could you please write a johnny smut? where he's dominant and praises her (doesn't degrade ofc) but it's really loving sex and its after he yells at her so sort of like makeup sex? sorry if this is too specific

Word Count: 1,429

It was currently 9:00 pm at night and I'd been at the dingo for over 2 hours alone. Johnny and I had planned a date, but he had yet to show up. I called him on the pay phone over 3 times but no answer. The waitress walked up to me, with her face laced with pity but sympathy at the same time, "Um...were about to close for the night, hun"

I looked up at her sadly, tears almost welling in my eyes. I refuse to cry, not in front of this random girl. I put down ¢15 for my cup of coffee and walked out of the diner. I decided to walk home to try and get some fresh air to calm myself down.

Once I got to our shared apartment, the door was already creaked open. Anticipation filled my bones as I dared to open up the door fully. I sighed in relief when I saw that it was Johnny in the living room. As I looked at him longer, I began to get angry again, "Johnny! Where have you been?" He woke up from his daze and looked at me in somewhat shock.

"I've been here, what do you mean?" My mouth formed into an "O" shape before stomping in front of him on the couch, " What do I mean? I have been at the dingo for 2hrs, waiting for you!" He looked at me in disbelief and shook his head, "why can't you just lay off" he replied in a murmur.

I felt a tear roll down my cheek, this whole thing is so stupid. I just wanted one night "What did you say?" He stood before me, shaking his head in anger, "WHY DON'T YOU JUST LAY OFF!" I looked at him in utter disbelief, letting out a sob.

His face softened when he saw me cry, "Baby-" is the only word he could get out before I ran into our bedroom. I lay down and cried until I was weak. Johnny has never done something like this before.

After a while, I got up and went to the bathroom to clean myself up. Wow, I look tragic. I decided to take a shower and get changed, maybe wash my old makeup off.

I walked out of the bathroom to the smell of food wavering in the air. Johnny never cooks. I walked into the kitchen, following the amazing smell. When I arrive there, I see Johhny making pasta, my favorite. He's so cute.

I walked up to him with a slight smile on my face, "Hi Johnny" He turned around, almost looking surprised I was even talking to him. It wasn't long until he had a pleading look on his face and, on his knees, "Baby, I'm so so sorry for yelling at you, I was just tired. I love you so much and I'm sorry I forgot about our date night. I looked down at him, basically begging for forgiveness.

A smile formed on my face before saying, "I forgive you Baby" He got up and turned off the stove before walking back over to me. He gave me a smirk before pushing me against the wall and kissing my neck. "Johnny please"

He sucked a hickey on my smooth skin before pulling away, making me whimper loudly, "I love you so much so let me show you." Fuck, he makes it so hard to ever be mad at him. Johnny pulled both shirts off to start working on my breasts.

He sucked at the flesh of my right breast while taking my left nipple between his fingers. He then brought his tongue down to circle my areola just right. I moaned loudly at his actions, "baby baby please" my words became slurred from the overwhelming pleasure. He groaned at my fucked-out expression, "I love your tits so much, I love everything bout you, your thighs, your hands, and especially your pretty pussy."

I leaned in to connect our lips eagerly and johnny immediately accepted my offer. He instantly forced his tongue between my lips to play with my own. I pulled away to resume my work but on his neck. I was about to give him a hickey before he stopped me, "Sorry baby, but I'm in charge today. I'm gonna show you how much I fucking love you tonight." He pulled me into our dining room and set me on the table before lowering to his knees.

He kissed down my stomach, leaving a line of hickeys all the way down. Johnny fiddled with the buttons on my pants, then proceeded to my zipper. He rubbed me over my underwear, feeling the wet spot in the middle, "Oh baby, you're so pretty like this for me." I moaned at his praise.

He pulled my underwear down my legs, kissing my inner thighs in the process. It feels like I'm burning up right now. I was lost in my thoughts until I felt Johnny's tongue swirl my clit, "Shit, don't stop please" He began prodding two fingers at my entrance, smirking at my whining and writhing for him, "Who knew what such bad words could come from your pretty mouth. You'll always be my good girl, right?" He softly curled his fingers inside me, massaging my g-spot.

He continued his work on my clit, sending harsh suck every now. Johnny thrust his fingers arduous, sending waves of fulfillment over my whole body. "More please, can I have more?" I begged him for another finger. He looked up at me and removed his fingers altogether, "You can have anything you want tonight" He entered 3 fingers into me, making me feel euphoric.

I moaned loudly at his actions. "You're so pretty when you're taking my fingers." he cooed at me. He started to drift his tongue down to my opening, making me whine, "Johnny please" he sat himself up to look at me, lovingly, "Please what, doll" I whimpered at his pet name, "Can you fuck me know please, I want you so bad."

He removed his fingers and sat up to unbutton his jeans. Johnny always got worked up from giving me head. He removed his underwear swiftly, his dick springing out. His dick was hard, bubbles of his precum forming at the opening.

He rubbed his tip across my arousal-coated pussy, eliciting a whine from my lips. "please!" He slowly entered me halfway, making me feel full from only half his length. He leaned down for a sweet kiss before starting his thrusts slow, speed gradually increasing. "Johhny, Can you hold my hand, please?" I said in a whine.

He looked down at me before replying, "Aww. Does my sweet girl want me to hold her hand?" I whimpered at his words before nodding eagerly. He grabbed my hand, squeezing lightly with each thrust. I reached my other hand down to rub my clit but Johnny moved my hand, placing it on his bare chest, "I'm sorry but I'm in charge tonight, babydoll." he whispered with a small pout resting on his lips.

My hand scratched at his chest making him moan lowly. Johnny brought his hand down on my stomach, pressing down lightly making my euphoria increase. He slid out almost fully before thrusting back in fully, making my belly bulge. "How's it feel, baby?" I let out a pornographic moan, "So g-good Johnny! Fuck."

He chuckled at my reactions and leaned down to give me a sweet kiss. "You're such a good slut...my good slut" I moaned way too loud at his praise. God damn. Johnny put his fingers into my mouth and continued to move in and out of me, picking up his pace. I let out a muffled moan of "Im so close!" around his thick fingers.

I clenched repeatedly on his girthy dick, whimpering as my high approached. "Your pretty pussy is gripping so tight I'm gonna cum baby," he said, out of breath. I squeezed his hand tightly as I came all over him. Johnny moaned as spilled himself into me. He gave me one last kiss before laying next to me on our table.

Johnny looked at me in my eyes, leaning in to kiss my cheek lightly< "I love you doll. I'll never yell at you like that again. I beamed at him, kissing him on the lip this time. "It's ok, I love you too. Y'know if this is how it's gonna end, you can yell at me anytime, Johnny Cade." We looked at each other before bursting out laughing.

Hope you enjoyed this! So sorry it's kinda late, I'm busy with school and competitions!

[2braincellslz]

I'M SO SORRY BUT I HAVE ONE MORE

billy hargrove x FEM!reader (Neil is rotting in prison btw, I can't stand him and hope he has fun in hell)

Billy drives Max to the skatepark every Wednesday afternoon

He waits in the parking lot watching her skate, he notices a girl that max sometimes talks to

He noticed max likes the girl and she is his age..

Billy starts taking max to the skatepark more and more, and letting her stay until the girl leaves

Billy falls for the girl and eventually gets the courage to ask her out

They fall in love and max and billy fight over her

"She was mine first,"

"Back off shitbird, she like me more,"

This idea wouldn't leave my brain, sorry

ME FIRST!

Billy hargrove x Fem!reader

Desc: billy and max fight over YN. That's about it.

Warning: fighting

Notes: it's a little short. Sorry-

The music in the car was blaring. When the Hargrove siblings pulled in to the park, the current song was Queen but it was shut down rather quickly.

"Alright, max." Billy said, sitting back in his seat. "Two hours tops. Go."

Max rolled her eyes and got out of the car, dropping her skate board to the ground and rolling off.

Billy turned the other way, watching as Max rode down the bowl. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it up, taking a few quick drags.

He could drive off and go flirt with girls at the mall, not like Neil was around to stop him, but it was starting to get redundant. He almost justified flirting with Steve in his little ice cream shop just to get some kind of new reaction. But, he had a reputation.

So he just sat there, listing to his music and humming along to whatever Freddie Mercury was singing about.

Time past. Billy as dozed off once or twice. He mess around with some of the cute girls (and boys) that walked by. He would check to male sure Max wasnt dead but honestly, it wasnt the most important thing.

Once when Billy looked up, he saw Max with this... absolutely stunning lady.

She had to be younger then Billy but older then Max.

Her (h/l) hair perfectly framed her face. Her clothes fit her in all the right was. If this was some kind of cartoon, Billy's eyes might be poking out of his head.

Max must have noticed Billy's staring because she was already in the car, sitting next to him.

"Are you ok? Its rude to stare."

Billy quickly looked over, semi shocked that he didnt see Max get in.

"What? Mind your business." Billy said, running back to look out the window. To his disappointment, she was gone.

"How old is your friend?" Billy fully turned on the car and shut off the music.

"16, two years older then me. Why?"

"Mind your business, Max." Billy repeated himself, pulling out of the parking lot while trying not to hit the dumb kids that thought it was ok to cross the road without looking.

"Oh, you like her?" Max nearly yelled.

"What dose it matter to you?"

"You arnt her type."

"Oh really? What's her type, then?"

"Me"

"Spoiled brats? You dont have a chance in hell with her."

The whole ride home continued on like that. The two siblings firing insults back and forth.

Week after week that same thing would happen. If Billy was lucky, Y/N would walk with Max to the car. On those days, Y/N and Billy would playfully flirt back and forth while Max stared daggers in to the back of Billy's head.

But today was the day. Billy had gained enough confidence to ask out the girl he had been pining for over the past weeks.

Max knew something was up when Billy didnt give her the normal 'only two hours' speech and instead got out of the car with Max.

"What are you doing?" Max asked, holding her board under her arm.

"None of your business." Billy huffed, looking over Max for a particularly girl.

"Max-ie." Yn turned the corner around the car. "Oh, Billy. Hi. I've never seen you put of your car."

"Oh, well today is a very special day." Billy smiled, leaning against his car.

"Oh, really? Whys that?" Max asked, voice laced with venom. Almost like a warning, but what was she going to do?

"Today is that day I'm going to ask YN out."

Billy glanced away from Max over to YN, who was giggling and covering her face.

"Oh really?" Yn asked. "Where were you planning on taking her?"

"A nice dinner somewhere? Maybe bring to to the pool after closing. Whatever she wants."

"I think she would enjoy a movie or dinner at enzos." Yn hummed, tapping her chin.

"I'll call her later tonight to ask about it."

"Sounds like a plan."

Billy looked back over to where Max once was but she had ran off, probably to pitty herself for having no rizz.

"Well, I wont hold you." Billy smiled back at YN and slipped in to his car.

-----------------------------------------------

After about a two and a half hours, max slid in to the seat next to Billy. She slammed the door with a loud thud.

"Hey, watch it! Dont hurt her." Billy hissed, staring up the car.

"Dont get any bight ideas with YN, Billy! I liked her first."

"Oh come on, she likes me better, shitbird."

"She dose not! She Pittys you!"

And they fought, all the way back home.

[goose-duck]

Cars are confusing 🚗

One piece story about Sabo trying to get his old car put in Luffy's name from Ace's point of view as a tag-along

+slight romance (not between asl obviously, they're brothers, but I've seen some odd stuff so I gotta clarify 😭)

Modern AU (obviously)

~~~~~~

Ace's POV:

I'm sitting in the back of the car, Sabo and Luffy are in the front. I'd be in the front but Sabo doesn't trust my driving and Luffy beat me to the passenger seat. We're currently going to get Sabo's old car put in Luffy's name since he got his full license a few weeks ago and Sabo agreed to give him his car once he does.

On the way there Sabo complains about one of his co-workers who always comes to work drunk. I add my own input, I don't like the guy either, so it's mostly insults towards him. Luffy, strangely enough just sits and listens, he must be tired, it is kinda early, 9:00 in the morning on a weekend.

After a while we get onto the topic of this boy Luffy likes. His name is Law, luffy talks about him like no one else matters, like this man is the sun on a cloudy day. It's cute, I'm happy he's found someone he can love and by the sounds of it, someone who loves him all the same.

Eventually we get to the insurance place. We park across the street, me and Luffy get out while Sabo grabs the papers. We walk in and Sabo immediately recognizes someone there, her name is Koala, they seem close. She's currently working with another client so they just say a quick hello before we all sit down and wait.

An older lady comes out to talk with us about getting Luffy's name put on the car. Sabo and the lady talk for a while and they ask Luffy some questions. I'm not really paying attention as I only tagged along to go to the mall after they sort this out. I play music tiles on my phone for a while until Sabo tells us we have to go to the DMV. Luffy groans knowing it's a bit of a drive to get there, I just sigh a bit, already regretting tagging along as just their conversation here took 20 minutes.

After a long drive we finally get to the DMV. I wonder why they don't just have the two places side by side, it'd be much easier.

We walk into the building, Sabo goes straight to a receptionist with the papers and they start talking. Me and Luffy stand behind him, Luffy not knowing what's going on and me not overly caring. We stand here for a solid 10 minutes before Sabo has to call the insurance place because apparently we needed to do more stuff there first and the old lady sent us off prematurely.

Sabo is put on hold for 15 minutes before he gives up and tells us to just sit and wait a bit and he'll try again. Good timing because I was about to fall asleep standing up. Luffy promptly sits down, pulling out his phone to watch tiktoks. I sit beside him and lean back in my seat a bit, closing my eyes and sighing. Sabo sits across from us and apologizes that it's taking so long. I tell him not to blame himself for other people's mistakes before letting myself relax again.

I start chatting with Luffy about Law again, wanting to know more. Luffy tells me a lot, about how they were close in grade 9 then this girl kept harassing Law and being lovey with him anytime Luffy was around and how that drove the two apart because it made it awkward and difficult for Law to be around Luffy. Luffy said this continued and is still happening but that Luffy and Law finally have a class without her and they've been able to be close again. I let out a sigh or relief knowing that that girl isn't causing as much trouble now, even if it's only because she literally cant. It's just unfortunate that that means they spent about a year completely split apart by her as they're now in grade 11.

Sabo suddenly grabs my foot. He tells me he loves my shoes and asks where I got them. I tell him I got them at Ardene and he asks how much they cost. I told him I got them on sale but that I'm pretty sure the sale is over now, but that at the time they were $12.99. he tells me that sounds like a good deal and that he's going to go buy himself some even if they aren't on sale. I tell him to just be sure he doesn't mistake his shoes for mine and Luffy butts in saying Sabo's feet are too big for us to mix up out shoes. Sabo makes an offended face which is quickly cut off by a phone call from the insurance place. Sabo picks up quickly and starts talking with the person on the line. Sabo start to get up, signaling us to get up and follow him back to the car.

Sabo hangs up the phone and gets in the car with an exasperated sigh. Me and Luffy also get back in the car asking what's up. Sabo tells us that we have to go back to the insurance place and that Luffy's gonna have to sign a bunch of papers. Luffy seems annoyed that he has to sign papers while I'm just concerned that anyone will even be able to read his handwriting.

Eventually we get back to the insurance place and walk in again. This time we're greeted by a very attractive man, I can feel myself blushing at the sight of him. Luffy playfully punches me and wiggles his eyebrows, he so knows I think this guy's hot. Sabo starts talking to him as he leads us to a room, sitting behind the desk and inviting us to sit down on the other side. Sabo sits but me and Luffy both opt for standing as Luffy doesn't like to sit still and I just didn't feel like sitting after all of the driving we did.

The man says his name is Marco, what a nice name for such an attractive man...i hope he's single. Luffy keeps making faces at me while Sabo talks with Marco. Luffy signs some papers and answers some questions. Eventually Luffy says that the room is kind of barren and that Marco should put up some pictures, maybe of bands or maybe of his girlfriend. I see what he's doing, trying to see if this guy is even single, nevermind if he's into men. The guy says he's sure his girlfriend would like that. I get a little sad but don't let it show as ultimately it isn't a big deal. Luffy gives me a look and I glare at him a bit. Sabo adds onto Luffy's comment by saying Marco should put flowers around the picture of his girlfriend and I add that he should put little lights with it too, reminiscing on the time when I was in grade 9 and we had a teacher that looked just like Edd Sheeran and we made a small shrine of Edd Sheeran in his class room.

After all of that we finally leave, Sabo telling us we can finally go to the mall. Luffy states that he's excited to go to the candy store. I tell Sabo I want to go to the furniture store and get some new pillows for my bed. Sabo just giggles at the both of us saying he's going clothes shopping. I then remember my shoes that Sabo was so fond of and joke that he's going to go buy himself some. He gives me a look and simply states, "yes." before we get in the car and he drives off to the mall.

[americas1suiteheart]

Here's that Dad! Lemon x Reader, I hope you don't mind it being put into the form of headcannons and it being a Fem reader, but its all my brain can really do, aka; I've been getting a little lazy and headcannons and a fem reader are easiest and quicker.

Lemon As A Dad

[Dad! Lemon x Fem! Reader]

[Tumblr ruined the quality of my gif again🙄]

[Notes; This is the only Fem reader i'll probably make only because it was easier to do so.. For the sake of all of my bullet train fics of the twins, let's pretend that Tan is still alive because I don’t need reminders that he died🤭]

[Warnings; None, just more fluff. •❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

When you both find out you're pregnant, he's a whole mess of emotions. He's happy and ecstatic, he's scared, he's freaking out but totally calm all at the same time.

He immediately calls Tangerine to tell him and I can imagine he's just fumbling over his words and such due to the excitement. Tan is trying to calm him over the phone so he can form coherent words and its just not working so you take the phone and talk to him about it so that way Tan doesn't start to yell at him due to his short fuse.

Tan is extremely happy for you two, he probably would take you guys a basket of sorts. Just things to get everything started off.

I think Tan and maybe your parents and siblings if you have them would be the only ones to know. You two being assassins and all doesn't really mean you get to have friends outside of your job. Maybe if you're cool with ladybug, he might know, but apart from that it just stays inside of family.

He's already thinking of names and such, making an entire list of them in fact. You find it so cute how excited he is.

You have no choice or say so when it comes to the nursery, because you just know its gonna be Thomas and Friends decorated no matter what you say.

I think he'd be very protective. Making sure no one in public is overwhelming you when your bump is visible.

He will punch someone if he has to, no joke.

He is such a boy dad. Say you see what gender the baby is and it turns out to be a boy hes just beaming with joy. I'm not saying he wouldn't like having a girl, but he seems like such a boy dad, y'know what I mean?

He would 100% constantly be talking to your belly. Making you watch Thomas and friends with him too as if the kid could see it with you two.

"How are you doing in there little man," "Not much longer until your out of mummy's belly, kiddo. I'm so excited to meet you."

He's freaking out the entire time you're going through labor.

You're like, screaming absolute pain, then he's screaming too.

"WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING, LEM?!" "SORRY!"

You truly love Lemon but he's not much help for you as he's loud and probably more scared than you. He'd have a panic attack.💀

After the kiddo's out and he holds him in his arms, he's full on crying tears of joy it's incredible. He loves him so much.

When it comes to naming the kid though💀

"You two have a name in mind for him?" The nurse asks, smiling.

Lemon looks at you with a pleading look as you're holding your newborn in your arms.

"We're not naming him after a fuckin' Thomas and Friends character." You say sternly.

"We need some time to think about it," Lemon says looking back at the Nurse.

Eventually you give in and decide on Edward. I feel it would either have been between Edward or Percy.

Oh man just wait until Tangerine finds out about the kid being named after a Thomas and Friends character.

He's not upset about it because its not his kid or something he can control, but he's just a little bit disappointed you gave in to Lemon.

"Alright love, you can go on in, I'll get Edward alright," Lemon says, opening the car door for you and helping you out.

You had just been allowed to be discharged from the hospital, and you and Lemon planned to immediately head home and have Tangerine over to meet Edward.

You smile at him in response and head on inside of your shared home.

You go inside of your bedroom and change out of your current clothes into some comfier ones.

Once you finish, you walk into the nursery where Lemon was putting Edward into a Thomas and Friends onsie, grinning widely.

"Lookin' dashing kiddo! Let's go and show mummy now," Lemon says, picking him up carefully, making sure to hold is little head up.

He turns around with Edward in his arms and smiles even wider when he sees you standing at the doorway.

"Look at him, love. Doesn't he just look adorable in this," Lemon says excitingly.

"You can relax on the couch with Edward while I clean up darling, don't worry," He says, carefully handing you Edward and guiding you to sit on the couch.

"He looks great, Lem. Let's get the living area situated though, Tan should be coming over soon." You say, laughing warmly at the sight of the two boys.

You tear up a little looking at them, Lemon's already such a great dad.

You would protest but it would be no use, as it would only lead to Lemon forcing you to relax no matter what.

You we're grateful for that. You knew that some dad's would have their wives do all the work whilst taking care of the child sometimes, just sitting on their arse and being a useless piece of shit. You were glad that Lemon was the complete opposite. Stubborn, even.

Lemon cleans the living area as you sit down on the couch with Edward, admiring how much he looks like Lemon.

*Knock, knock, knock*

"That must be Tangerine," You say, looking up at the door as Lemon looks through the peephole, confirming.

"Hey Y/n, how are you doing?" Tangerine asks, sitting next to you on the side where you were holding Edward.

He opens the door to let Tangerine in, greeting him.

Tangerine thanks Lemon and immediately walks towards you and Edward, a large grin on his face.

"I'm doing better now, just a little tired but Lemon has been a great help," You reply.

"Thats great, how's the little one been doing so far?"

"He's been doing good. He's 7 pounds and healthy, there were no complications other than Lemon freaking out at the hospital while I was in labor." You and Tangerine snicker.

Lemon glares at you from the kitchen as he stocked the cupboards with baby bottles.

"Whats his name,"

You give a look towards Lemon and look down at Edward who was currently sleeping.

"I swear to fuckin' god if you two named him after a Thomas and Friends character," He says as he looks at Lemon.

"Its Edward," Lemon says, clearing his throat afterwards.

"Fucks sake you two are unbelievable, this poor kid," Tangerine scoffs jokingly.

Honestly though, Tangerine is such a good uncle. When I tell you its almost like he's there constantly.

When Tangerine isn't busy and you and Lemon just want a day to yourselves as a break, he's more than happy to take care of him.

Tangerine would 100% buy him a matching West Ham Football Jersey.

During football season, Tangerine is holding Edward and when the team makes a goal he's just running around with Edward in his arms in the living area as it fills with the sounds of Edward's giggling and Tangerine's cheering.

Tangerine genuinely loves him so much and would probably do anything for him.

When you go back to work and Lemon or Tangerine aren't available to babysit then Ladybug would definitely be down to do so.

Lemon is very obviously against the idea at first but seeing as you have no one else to do so that you trust, he finally gives in to the idea.

I feel Ladybug would just be great with kids too man, know what I'm saying?

Lemon would probably cry when the kid starts going to school and you know it.

Like, he's tearing up trying not to let any tears fall as Edward is hugging him, and he finally breaks when he hears the little "Bye, daddy!"

You have to calm him down the whole ride back.

He immediately wants another kid because the thought of his kid growing up scares him so much.

Lemon is just such a genuinely good dad though. Growing up without parents in the orphanage he wants to give his kid a better childhood than he had.

He would totally kill anyone if the kid ended up getting hurt or is in danger no hesitation at all.

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

This was a little shorter than I would've liked but I think it was still decent. I just really needed to put some writing content out and get my drafts cleaned up. Hope you enjoyed reading it though!

Send in your requests for stories! Look at my introduction to see if anything you like is something I'll write, and DM me for further questions!

[runthepockets]

I don't think white queers are wrong to embrace their queer identities. Like of course you're going to do this, after years of self hate and self speculating and outside scrutiny. That's your right. But I'd also be lying if I said I didn't notice a lot of white queers overcompensating for what they didn't have before they transitioned or before they came out, which is a sense of identity and community, and I'm glad that post dug into it a little because I've been thinking about it for a while.

I've talked to my nonwhite queer friends about this and we've all agreed that while we relate to white queers on the basis of identity, there's still kind of a massive bridge between worlds. In my experience, white queers tend to treat being queer as a full time subculture, while I treat it more as a happenstance; not out of shame so much as it is a part of me that I had to reckon with late in life (and as a trans man living stealth a good 80% of the time, can occassionally opt out of) and thus don't give nearly as much time energy or thought to as like, being black, which is a core facet of my life that has shaped my identity, social circles, preferences in art, politics, and worldview, something I can't hide, the first thing people have noticed about me since my parents left the hospital with me 24 years ago.

Saying this tends to confuse and even put a lot of white queers off from me, but like. That's just how my brain works, that's just the life I've led. I had crushes on black girls on my local step team long before I had heard of Kirsten Stewart, I was listening to Rakim long before I'd heard of Lady Gaga, Kendrick Lamar winning a Pulitzer Prize meant more to me than whatever the current cute blonde white chick or conventionally attractive white dude with stubble was doing. I didn't really feel anything when my ex boyfriend showed me MCR's Black Parade in high school, but I cried as an adult when Backxwash dropped Here I Lie Buried With My Rings And Dresses. I couldn't relate to most white trans men when they spoke of their pre-transition (and even some of their post transition) experiences, but I watched Ramy and cried watching the titular protagonist struggle to intergrate into American society while dealing with his own sexual and interpersonal hangups and what it meant to be a man in a country that runs on toxic male dominated hierarchy but views your masculinity, your boyhood needs, and your general personhood as a nonwhite individual as inferior, because I had been dealing with that same struggle for about 10 years.

I had a life and a community and culture and struggle and a swath of experiences before I transitioned, I was already pretty set in my ways, because that's just the state of being nonwhite. I honestly didn't really realize how lucky I was to have this or how rare this really was until that post put the inherent emptiness of whiteness into perspective.

[creativebrainrot]

I want to write up a little open journal entry about yesterday, and well. Life, lately.

Content Warning for the death of a pet. mentions of abuse. mentions of my abuser.

Today was the day of my childhood pet's vet appointment. BK had been off her thyroid medication since late January / early February this year. I didn't realize how long that was, my dad had been trying and failing to save up for her healthcare. Yesterday, she was panting, didn't want to be touched, on top of other health issues we noticed this/last week, and we knew she was dying. One day off of her appointment, after we finally had managed to save up. When we set the appointment it was a 17 day long wait, and I knew she wouldn't make it. She was put to rest yesterday, I asked my dad to take her to vet to be put to sleep. I've watched too many animals die slowly in this house because we couldn't take care of them. We had saved up just enough for her euthanasia.

The night of the 25th I thought she was already dying, so I pet her and laid my head on her body like one last goodbye but she woke up. I tried to sleep but I had to check on her one more time before I could and when I looked where she usually was, she was still staring at my bedroom door.

When I woke up she was already in a bad state.

I got one last goodbye and goodmorning from her.

she was a really cute cat, I had her since I was 4 or 5. She died at 17 or 16 years old and she was so so so happy and sweet and cute for every single one of those years.

I couldn't go to the vet's with my dad. I had just woken up and I despise crying infront of other people. I don't like it. (I don't like it because I don't look how I should. no other reason. people see a "short little girl" and I hate it.)

We tried to work a bit yesterday, the day she left. But our car's engine light came on, and that was just too much to deal with.

I have no reason to stay in this house anymore. Neither does my dad. Today, 27th of April, 2023, we're going to seriously start moving. Selling things we don't want, packing up what we do want.

We spent this whole year so far trying to just save up enough to move smoothly but honestly? I think it will feel smooth even if we have to buy a car that's definitely a one-way ticket. Even if it's the worst used-lemon of a car we've ever driven before, we'll be somewhere that's finally our's.

This house was the very last bargaining chip our abuser used against us. I cannot emphasize enough that everything was rigged against us from the very start. The mortgage company won't talk to my dad. When our abuser was alive they didn't talk to my dad either- none of the companies did. My dad wasn't the sole owner so he never got to apply for any of the housing aid he wanted to. and then desantis. who doesn't exactly "like" poor people. like us. or anyone remotely like us at all, actually.

If we can just get to somewhere new- be it a mobile home, two apartments, a house in a state like this one, it will STILL be an upgrade. Because the system, including our own personal abuser, never let this be our house. This is just "where we're stuck living," and it's been that my entire life.

my dad wanted so badly to fix this house up and love it but everyday it gets a bit harder to stay here. Everyday a new issue crops up that makes us ask, "why are we still trying to live here?"

even if we did like the house, we're still in a state that get's too hot for us to live comfortably, we're still in a state that wants us dead. we're still cut off from care we need and in a state where everything is too expensive for us.

So it's time to say goodbye and move. I'm only 21 and I don't want to watch my dad die in this house- he's in good health. And we want it to stay that way. We're hoping Maine has clinics that we can afford care from easier. DoorDash usually gets us 20$ an hour, so if we can get a car that can keep driving or maybe fix our current one, we'll be right back on our feet. My dad was looking into DoorDash's e-bike program, he really loves working for DoorDash.

My personal dream is an apartment all to myself that's just the right size for my cat and I, that I can make money off of vocal work & art from. I want to work from home so that I'm never forced outside when I don't want to be or can't handle it. I want to work from home because all my friends right now are online. I want a nice apartment within walking distance of nice places.

I want true freedom for myself and my dad. and I think, we'll get that.

no matter what.

[aseriesofunfortunatejan]

*takes a glance at my next scheduled Danganronpa brainrot essay* oh my god no not chihiro's gender no, no, nnnooooooooo-

The AFAB character who presents as a boy but is secretly a girl (because there is no other option than the binary, of course /s) is not uncommon in Japanese media. Putting aside my opinions on which ones are the worst written offenders, I'm thinking about it being a result of real, historical events or personal stories in which women were forced to pretend to be men in order to advance in life, get the opportunities they wanted, be left alone, or walk hand in hand with the love of their life.

By the way, since there are a lot of weird users on this platform: trans rights are human rights. If you disagree, go be weird elsewhere, I'm here to talk about the cute character from the 13 years old video-game.

Either way, the result is that it's common, and the story is often similar - either "my parents wanted a boy" (which is a reflection of another, more recent if not current part of history) or "I needed it to accomplish something/to be left the fuck alone while I did my thing."

Now what I'm thinking about is the fact that Kodaka likes to be subversive. He likes to take a common trope and put it upside down. One question about Chihiro has always been, to me... is the crossdresser character all that subversive? I mean, "cute girl is actually... 🥺 a boy 🤭" is really not that uncommon in Japanese media. I've already explored how both Mondo and Chihiro speak to toxic masculinity from almost opposite places, but just being different from Mondo doesn't feel like a satisfying answer to what is the subversive stereotype about Chihiro in the very first place, on the very surface.

What I think it may be is this: "what if instead of a girl who has to dress up as a boy to be left the fuck alone, it were a boy who has to dress up as a girl to be left the fuck alone?" Often with the "boy who dresses up as a girl", the writing has a lot more to do with liking it this way. ("What? Trans? Other gender identities? What are those?" /s) When it came to Chihiro, dressing up as a girl was a defence mechanism against societal pressure.

It came off as weird, something women are more likely to experience - the pressure that men are somehow "the norm", the fact that men are accepted more, left alone more - like from a realistic point of view, it was such a specific and odd choice that many players wondered if there wasn't something more to Chihiro's choice to present as a girl, somewhere it came from in the first place. But I wonder if that's not in fact meant to be the subversive aspect: "we're used to stories of women having to dress up as men for these reasons, but imagine a story in which it's a man having to dress up as a woman!"

At least, that's what may have been going through Kodaka's mind at the time. Then came what I view as the better aspect of Chihiro's writing, which is the exploration of toxic masculinity, how much it hurt him, and how much he accidentally contributed to it by buying into the idea that women are in fact weak while men are strong.

[unhingedreviews]

Carmilla the Youtube show

The sun is shining, it is 5:52pm and I have decided that nothing will happen this evening except the completion of this show so I have pot noodles and a fiery desire to forget reality so let's goooo

1 E20 "Sock Puppets and European History"

Flashback material with sock puppets jesus

Carmella's sock puppet is like the Potter Puppet Pals Voldemort

Ma'am I'm fairly sure that in the original text you do definitely eat those girls but I get that you can't be the bad guy in this Canonically Queer Vampires Are Great retelling

Carmilla became a Hozier song yo

Her mother is the dean, right

KNEW IT

S1 E21 "Strategic Planning"

Carmilla slurping blood and watching Twilight is a mood

Carmilla | S1 E22 "Afterbite"

Tbh the mother in the book is a huge Question Mark and maybe I missed it because I read most of the book in sub zero temperatures but she orchestrated Carmilla's friendships, right? So she was either also a vampire or a very dedicated servant

Oh god just kiss already

S1 E23 "We Need To Talk About Carmilla"

I'm with her as ethics as an attempt to impose order

Carmilla | S1 E24 "Breaking Up (With An Amazon) Is Hard To Do"

It really bugs me that you can't tell what season it is from the clothes they're wearing

This is nearing Carry On Film levels but caring about someone =/= it's your job to keep them safe is in fact a salient observation

S1 E25 "Basic Parasitology"

'Nobody likes theatre students' ahahah

I take back the comments about the good lines, 'holy crapsticks' should be an illegal phrase

S1 E26 "The Standard Issue"

'I don't want to be Susan anymore' okay why do the good emotional lines always follow the shit ones

'I've been marked for death by a vampire cabal and you are fighting with your best friend.' Potato tomato

S1 E27 "Required Reading"

The library ATE someone that is the way to go

Okay what if people are watching these videos are they just assuming it's a prank

Carmilla. Wear pyjamas. Those jeans are not comfortable for sleeping. also. Carmilla in pyjamas

S1 E28 "Blame Enough For All"

GET YOUR SHOES OFF THE BED

and seriously why are you live broadcasting this shit

Did Laura just fall asleep flat on her face

S1 E29 "PTSD & Brownies"

I too clean when anxious, although you would not know this to survey the current state of my living quarters

The curly haired girl vacuumed AROUND Carmilla who didn't wake up what

Sidenote: either someone in the next door house is putting up a shelf or having sex I'll update you

Oh it's stopped almost straight away

So presumably...

S1 E30 "Monsters, Lies & Videotapes"

LaFontaine is pragmatic in a crisis, I appreciate that

S1 E31 "Of Hearts And Holy Hand Grenades"

So Laura got bit and still nothing's happened except cat dreams? I had a cat dream the other day. Do I have cute goth roommates? No.

I'm with the redhead, even I do my homework when the world is ending

Laura you put on a random necklace you'd never seen before having spent half a semester badly battling the forces of evil COME ON

S1 E31 "Of Hearts And Holy Hand Grenades"

I'm with the redhead, even I do my homework when the world is ending

Laura you put on a random necklace you'd never seen before having spent half a semester badly battling the forces of evil COME ON

S1 E31 "Of Hearts And Holy Hand Grenades"

Got distracted by some weather idk Carmilla's mother is around?

S1 E33 "Pep Rally"

'There is a whole campus full of people out there' and none of them want to get involved mate have you met students

Oh I was right

S1 E33 Do Not Go Into The Light

I don't know what flunking out is but it sounds American for 'was shit at uni and the uni told me to fuck off'

S1 E35 "Heroic Vampire Bull****"

Are these people being cute gross

Why does my university have a heel dancing club but not an alchemy club

'When the chips are down you're kinda like a bro' that is friendship right there

S1 E36 "Life Goes On"

Betty is me. entirely.

LaFontaine is dating a computer ghost of course they are

If Carmilla is vampire why'd Laura hold up her head when feeding her blood if she doesn't breathe can she choke??

okay yeah that was cute

'I was using the ancient book as a bathmat' fair

THOUGHTS OF A VERY TIRED, HIGHLY STRUNG VIEWER

I'd rather flatshare with Carmilla than most of my current household because at least she's pleasant to look at when she doesn't clean up after herself. and also is a goth lesbian I GUESS. also top stuff making a TV show using one camera angle and an extremely old Sapphic vampire story as your source material, that was a gamble and I appreciate it

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook: Deep Breath (1)

In which you're on the hunt for a roommate - and he might be the perfect candidate.

Tags/warnings: Alien!Jungkook part 9643 I guess, human!Reader, futuristic, Angst, Fluff, strangers to lovers, eventual smut, jungkook is VERY touchy, Alien shenanigans and scary human things

Additional Chapter Warnings: fluff, cute alien boy

Chapter Length: mid/long

Next ->

You've been searching for a fitting roommate for months by now- but no one seems to fit.

You don't want someone who does yoga all day, unintentionally guilt tripping you into doing sports again just to not seem as lazy as you are- but you also don't want someone who doesn't clean up after themselves. At the same time, a clean-freak would drive you crazy- while someone who's home all day every day could prove difficult to handle if you want to have visitors.

But just as you're about to delete the post on the website, giving up, a message pops up in your inbox.

He introduces himself as Jeon Jungkook; a 25-year old Kumya from planet Paras, currently searching for someplace to stay for the time of his exchange. He's working for a coding company who you know occasionally exchanges their workers to gain experience- so he's got a stable income, meaning he'll most likely pay rent on time. His words are casual but formally friendly, no profile picture can be found; but from what he tells you, he seems like he could be a good fit.

You answer by telling him some info about the apartment, making sure to include rent as well, and the small damages here and there with pictures do he knows more details about what he's getting into. You also make sure to stress the fact that you're, well, a girl- and that if he's uncomfortable with that, it would be a deal breaker.

It takes a couple of hours, but he eventually replies- this time a lot more casual, even using smileys at certain points, to underline statements like

'don't worry, I even do my own dishes, I heard humans hate that task a lot ๑^ᴗ^๑'

Or

'Gender doesnt matter to me to be honest but I hope you won't be intimidated by me cause I've heard human women tend to get scared by men very easily- I promise I'm nice! (๑•w•)و✧'

And he really does seems nice enough- so you send him the last details, before you both agree to try it out.

Now, obviously he doesn't move in right away- it takes a course of weeks for his work Visa and everything to be sorted out- but once he stands in front of your door, he takes your breath away.

While half of his face is hidden behind a mask, and you've already done some research on what to expect from the Kumya-race when it comes to behavior , culture and looks, he still looks a lot different than what you've expected. His eyes seem to glow- reddish-pink in color, while his hair, buried underneath a black beanie, is pale and an ash-blonde color. He waves a little, eyes turning into half moons as he smiles underneath his mask. He'd told you about this habit of his, and you've read online that it's common for his kind- force of habit, since the air on Paras isn't very clean to breath a lot of times, and the mask helps them to not get sick. You've told him it's fine- even though now, you're slightly curious to know what he looks like underneath.

"Hello. I hope I'm not too early?" he asks, and it makes your eyes widen because holy shit, he's talking inside your head. It's odd, and he seems to pick up on that. "ah, yeah, most people here have that reaction. I hope its okay-" he starts slightly worried, before you wave him off with a smile, letting him in.

"no, it's fine, just.. A little odd?" you giggle, making him visibly less tense as he walks into the apartment. "i hope your flight was okay?" you ask, and he nods.

"it was great, thanks for asking. I'm less exhausted than i thought I'd be." he chuckles, making you smile as he takes off his shoes.

"All your stuff had been delivered and I've put the boxes into your room for you to unpack." you say, as you open the door to what would from now on be his room.

"that- was really not necessary, thank you so much." he answers with wide open eyes, before they turn a bit concerned. "there's some heavy stuff in some though. I hope you didn't struggle too much-" he worries, as you wave him off.

"ah, it's nothing." you said, before he drops his backpack to rush inside, inspecting one of the packages with an alarmed face. "oh- did something break-"

"did you hurt yourself?" he asks, brows furrowed as he looks at you. "i can smell blood on this one."

"just a papercut, I'm a bit clumsy, it's no big deal." you tell him, as he gets up to walk over to you, hugging you.

Ah yes- another fact about his kind.

Men of his kind are typically the main caretakers of the family's; highly emotional and very touchy, they tend to be very protective of their partners and friends, while simultaneously never backing down in the face of danger. Their kind of like the definition of the term 'Lion moms'; fierce, gentle, protective, and loving.

They also make friends very, very fast, and they love skinship a lot. It's normal to hug anyone they like right away- it's like shaking hands to humans.

"thank you, I really appreciate this." he hums out before parts from you.

"ah uh.. Yeah sure. I'll.. Leave you to unpack, just holler if you need anything." you say, making him nod with happy eyes, before he turns around to open the first box of his things.

Well- this could certainly become interesting.

[thechangeling]

If I keep my eyes closed

A quick authors note before we get started. When writing characters like Ty, Alyssa and my version of Lizzie I always find myself trying to straddle this imaginary line between creating "good representation" and what I believe is accurate representation, or at least accurate to my experiences as an autistic person. I struggle with this the most when writing Alyssa. I am constantly trying to be mindful of respecting and honoring her cultural background as a white writer while still inserting my own autistic experiences and autistic trauma into her character and story. Sometimes that even means going against my own instincts and feelings.

That being said I still invite anyone to criticize my work if I've written something offensive. Especially if you are an autistic POC! I know that my autistic perspective is not the only way to be autistic and I don't want anyone to think I'm suggesting that.

Also I wrote an Alyssa playlist if anyone wants to listen to it it'll be at the end.

Cw: Autistic trauma!!!!! Like a lot!!, parental trauma, mention of C-PTSD triggers and dissociation.

Chapter 5: Despite everything I'm still human.

If you recognize the title of this chapter I love you and you get a cookie!

5.  He wasn't actually that pretty.

That was the first thing Alyssa noticed when she saw Kit Herondale for the first time. She supposed she had hyped him up a little in her head seeing how much Ty pined after him, but really he was just a boy.

Ok sure he was cute. Not really her type but still attractive. He had a nose and lip piercing which was a plus, along with a few tattoos that Ali wasn't sure about the meaning of. But she knew they definitely weren't runes.

He also left his shoes on indoors like most white Americans which really pissed her off. Like why are you tracking all this dirt through your house just to make a mess that you'll have to clean up later? And what if you wanted to put your feet up? It was stupid and made fuck all sense.

But that was beside the point. Other than that Kit seemed nice enough, other than the fact he was ignoring Ty. But Ty seemed like he wasn't ready to talk to Kit yet either so maybe it was for the best.

Alyssa was currently lying in one of Ty's hiding spots around the institute. It was a little nook beside one of the windows in the library. It was extremely high up, but if you used a chair to climb onto one of the book cases, then you could climb up on top of it and jump to the ledge from there. It wasn't very hard for a werewolf with enhanced strength and speed to do.

Alyssa lay on her back, her dark hair billowing out around her with her feet planted on the opposite wall and her knees bent. She was absentmindedly using her werewolf hearing to listen to the conversations of the people below.

They were in the midst of a full blown crisis. As it turned out Kit was the descent of some super special faerie person and supposedly had all this untapped power. Now a bunch of people were trying to get their hands on him.

Alyssa didn't really care about the details. What she cared about was that Ty had already figured this out and had neglected to tell her.

She was trying not to feel angry, or hurt and betrayed. She knew that he was probably just protecting Kit, but the old voices in her head were whispering again.

He doesn't trust you. He'll never trust you.

You're not really his friend.

He doesn't love you.

"Shut up," Alyssa whispered out loud. Trying to push them aside.

She had gotten along well enough with Ty's siblings. She played the part of the dutiful good girl with her smiles and politeness. When she met Ty's sister Drusilla she had barely been able to contain her excitement at her name. Drusilla just like Drusilla from Buffy the vampire slayer, her favorite show and her special interest.

Alyssa had bit the inside of her cheek to keep from squealing.

Down below Kit's friends Marìa Machado Sotomayor, or Mari as she preferred to be called, and Lizzie Fauteux were talking about the upcoming meeting and the danger they were all facing.

Mari was sweet. The kind of person who actually seemed genuinely like she cared about people and wanted the best for everyone. It was weird. But Ali liked it. Lizzie on the other hand was a burning fire of pain and hatred. She didn't say much and was a weird combination of shy and aggressive that seemed to suit her.

When Ali first stared into the girl's eyes, it was only for a quick second seeing as she seemed to militantly avoid eye contact which was fine by Alyssa, it was like staring into a dark black void. There was so much despair behind those eyes and so much anger. Ali looked into those eyes and saw herself.

Mirror mirror.

Lizzie was just more open about it.

So yeah, she kinda didn't like Lizzie.

Mari was definitely way more fun. She loved the way they gushed and grinned when they spoke of their home town of Loiza, or told stories about how she danced Bomba with her friends and family.

It made Alyssa homesick though. Homesick for Adobo and Lumpia, for parties and dancing. Homesick for her own family.

She loved Ty and Anush but there were certain things that she just couldn't get from them. Alyssa may not always have gotten along with her family but they were still family and family was everything.

It didn't mean that it didn't make her angry when she had to lie to them about things she knew they would never understand or mask constantly around them, always twisting herself into a new shape depending on the situation.  She knew that they were partly responsible for inflicting some of the trauma that caused her to develop C-PTSD even though they hadn't meant to and yet she still loved them and felt indebted to them.

It was complicated. Kind of like how she was a part of so many things at once, so many different communities. She was queer, Filipina American, had multiple neurodivergences, and was a werewolf of the New York pack and yet still she felt so alone. Like she belonged nowhere. Like she was nothing. Just different little made up figments meant to appease different people.

Alyssa Reyes didn't exist.

She heard James Marsters' voice as Spike from Buffy in her head.

Oh poor poor little lost girl. She doesn't fit in anywhere. She's got no one to love!

Ali whined out loud pulling at her dark wavy hair. Calm down you idiot. Just calm down.

She knew she should probably look for the rest of her pack. The meeting would be starting soon.

But Alyssa was instantly snapped out of her thoughts when she heard Ty's name.

"When I first saw that necklace I swear I bloody thought they were secretly dating" Mari giggled in her Devon British accent.

"Wait seriously?" Lizzie chimed in with her less pleasant, rougher flatter voice which had a British accent with a little mix of French. "You thought he was with that boy the entire time he was dating you? And then me? Kit wouldn't do that."

Alyssa's eyebrows raised at the knowledge that apparently Lizzie and Mari were both Kit's ex's.

"Well yeah I mean after that! I mean he never tells us anything! But it seems like he was just pining," Mari said with a shrug. She was relaxed against one of the comfy chairs, fiddling with a string on her top. Lizzie scoffed.

"Still pining you mean. It's pathetic." She was sitting on the floor across from Mari, holding her knees to her chest tightly. "I mean I really don't understand the point. Is Ty even really worth it?"

Oh fuck her!

They both definitely didn't realize that Alyssa was above them. She could drop down and scare the living shit out of them. She could go after Lizzie and rip her a new one. But honestly she was exhausted.

And depressed as fuck.

The C-PTSD symptoms were really out in full force today. Alyssa had a headache and her upper shoulders ached. Her emotions were all over the place and her chest felt tight. She was almost considering napping in this spot before she heard another voice, not Lizzie's or Mari's.

"Hey guys the meetings gonna start soon, you should probably come. I mean unless you wanna get like eviscerated by that scary chick who runs your pack!"

Kit Herondale.

She would know that voice anywhere. It had already become so cemented in her mind. She watched as Kit came over to Mari smiling as they made grabby hands at him to pull them up. Lizzie stood up on her own with a little grumble and a groan which caused Kit to chuckle and wink at her which she promptly responded to by giving him the finger. But Alyssa could tell there was something in her gaze there hadn't been before. Warmth.

She watched as the three of them slowly made their way out of the library. She knew she should really join them. Maia would have her head if she was late. Alyssa rolled her eyes at the sky.

Suddenly just as Kit reached the doorway, he stopped, letting the other two leave without him. He stood in the doorway for a moment in silence.

"Are you coming?" He asked. Kit turned around to look back at her, staring directly up at where she was. "Or am I gonna have to come up there and get you?"

He knew?  He knew she was up there the entire time and he didn't say anything? Until now. But why? Alyssa sat up, readjusting her position so that she was facing him.

He was smirking. She wanted to wipe that stupid expression off his face. She smirked back at him, rage boiling through her blood. "I'd like to see you try, shadowhunter!"

She spat the word shadowhunter like a curse. And for a moment he looked genuinely hurt before he shrugged.

"Not entirely though," he pointed out. "I mean if that was the case we wouldn't even be having this meeting. You know the big how do we make Kit not die brainstorming session? Should be a blast, you should totally go."

Despite herself Alyssa snorted. She could see why Ty liked him. Kind of. He had this way of speaking that got caught underneath your skin. Words that seeped inside of you and tickled until they made you giggle.

"I was going to. I was just taking some time."

Kit nodded. "Yeah I see he told you where his hiding spot was." He had a strange sort of expression on his face, like he was jealous.

Alyssa couldn't help it. She smirked again. "Yeah of course he does," she taunted. "We're best friends, he tells me everything."

The barb did it's job. Kit looked crestfallen. Although he was trying to hide it. That made Alyssa even angrier.

How dare he act all wounded after what he did? He has no right.

Alyssa jumped down from her perch gracefully, barely making any noise. She could still her ballet teacher's voice in her head. Land on your toes and bend the knees. "Anyways," she clicked her tounge. "I guess we better get going."

"Wait," Kit blurted out. "Can I ask you something?"

Alyssa sighed in place of an answer. Kit kept talking anyway.

She wasn't prepared for the way his gaze looked so pained and desperate when he asked, "how do I get Ty to care about me?

Alyssa grit her teeth trying not to explode with rage. She knew she should try to be calm and patient. It's what Ty would want.

But she was exhausted, shaking and in pain. She had had enough.

Alyssa laughed almost manically. "Are you fucking serious? How dare you? The fact that you have the blatent audacity to be so fucking ignorant blows my mind!"

Kit's eyes widened. "What?"

"Newsflash dumbass! He is in love with you! He has been ever since the day you fucking abandoned him for greener pastures," Alyssa shouted.

Kit glared sharply. "That's not what happened and you don't fucking know! You weren't there! So don't act like you were."

Altssa scoffed. "No I was just there for the aftermath. I was there to hold him while he cried!" She was waving her hands around while she yelled now, as she had a tendency to do. "And you know he never cries! I was there to stop him from bashing his skull open against the wall or from slitting his wrists with one of his dangers. To watch as he shut down and never let himself feel anything like what he felt for you again in case they betrayed him." Alyssa was fully aware she was crying now but she didn't care.

"You fucking destroyed him!"

Kit looked like he had just been gutted, his eyes wide open in horror. "I'm sorry," he whispered, more to the air then to her. "I had no idea. But I had to leave and it seemed like Ty didn't want me around. Like he didn't care." Tears welled up in his eyes.

"I was just so fucking heartbroken. Like somebody had cut a hole in me."

Alyssa growled. "So that makes it ok then? Be cause you think the heartbreak you were feeling was worse then his? Because it was so easy to believe that the autistic boy wasn't madly in love because that doesn't happen right?"

Kit narrowed eyes his at her. "Please don't put words in my mouth. I never said that."

And deep down somewhere in the logical part of her brain, Alyssa knew he was right. But she couldn't reach logic right now. She was the match, burning on rage and pain and trauma and all she wanted to do was hurt someone else to make it stop hurting. And mostly it had just been too many damn years of this shit.

"You wanna know what burns me the most?" She snapped. "That no matter what, you will never understand how much he loves you." Her voice broke. Ali could feel more tears sliding down her face. She wiped her eyes aggressively.

"The way he feels. It's the way people like us love. Burning and all consuming. Like an infection that eats at you from your core, tearing you up inside." Alyssa shut her eyes, allowing herself to get lost in the feeling. She took a deep breath, then exhaled.

Then she opened her eyes. Kit was staring at her, watching. Waiting for her to continue. Alyssa made herself to look directly at Kit.

"It's like this desperation for more, more, more. One more touch, one more glance, just one more word." She shook her head. "He would anything for you. But he is so afraid of showing it because we all know, Kit. We know all too well that bad things happen when we trust! Bad things happen when we love! When we care! And now you've just become more proof of that."

Alyssa pushed her hair back and ran her hand over the top of it, smoothing it down. "I mean put yourself in his shoes, how can Ty trust you again? How is he supposed to find it in himself to move on from this?"

Kit sighed, squeezing his eyes shut before opening them again.  "I'm sorry I didn't mean to-"

Alyssa cut him off. "I know. I know you're sorry. Everybody's always so fucking sorry. Everybody wants you to know how they never meant to hurt you like that or the never intended it to be taken in that way. It was a stupid mistake. A stupid childish mistake and they've grown." Alyssa realized she was shaking, her chest rising and falling. "They're better now," she choked.

"But you have to understand they were just kids Alyssa! They didn't know any better Alyssa! But what about us huh? What about our childhoods? What about our innocence? Do you even care about that? About those kids who were changed? Who were broken and used until they changed. Until they became something else? That childhood? The childhood made up of pain and hate and meaningless loneliness!" She yelled. She wanted to hit something. Kit looked a little afraid that she might hit him. And for a minute she wanted to. She shook her head rapidly, trying to purge those thoughts.

Kit's jaw clenched. "I'm so sorry for what you've been through. For what Ty has been through."

And God the way he said Ty's name. Like it was sacred.

"But this isn't my fault," Kit said softly.  "What your talking about is so much bigger than me."

Ali laughed again. A humourless dark chuckle. She could feel parts of her body missing. She would reach for them and it was like they weren't there.

"It's not your fault?" She murmered. "It's never anybody else's fault. I suppose then the implication is that it was ours." Kit opened his mouth to protest but Alyssa wasn't done. "

"But we just kids," she whispered, allowing the full weight of that statement to crush her. "Even if nobody else could see it. We were innocent, even if we only got to be for a little while."

"And now after all of your chaos and destruction of the person I love most in this world. You wanna just walk in here and claim that he doesn't care about you." Alyssa scoffed. "I wish he didn't ."

Kit stared at her. And for a moment Alyssa was struck by how much he look like her. Not appearance wise of course, but with the same haunted eyes and bone deep exhaustion.

"I don't know what to say to you," he admitted. "I can't erase what's happened to you or to Ty. I can't turn back time and undo what I did. But I need you to know. I need you to understand that I would do anything for him. I would die for him. Kit's voice dropped to a whisper.

"I love him so much."

Ali couldn't help it. She smiled. She smiled because it was beautiful and moving and maybe she was still that little girl who was niave and just wanted to believe in something.

And she believed him. Despite the fact that she knew Kit Herondale was a liar, she believed him.

"Yeah me too, she said with a sigh. Her emotions were finally stabilizing. Thank fuck.

"So what can I do? He asked. "What can I do to make it better?"

Alyssa blinked a few times then shook her head. "Huh? What?"

"I mean with what you were talking about before," Kit stated warmly. "You're right. Even if I didn't do any of those things to any of you directly it's still partly my responsibility to change things. I wanna create a world where maybe one day autistic children won't be traumatized. And mostly I just wanna make Ty happy. So how can I help?"

Alyssa was stunned. Nobody had ever asked her that before. No one had ever tried to help her in a way that wasn't demeaning or condescending. And nobody had ever offered to make things better. No, people only ever seemed interested in adding to her problems, adding onto her plate.

My brave strong girl, her mother used to say.

So mature.

You seem so well adjusted! People would say.

So well behaved. Her teachers

Really you're only seventeen you seem so muture for your age!  The grown men who hit on her when she was a minor.

"I honestly don't know," she admitted. "I'll have to think about it. But as far as Ty goes just listen to him. Pay attention to what he does and if you're ever confused about something just ask. And Ty can probably tell you more but you really need to be having this conversation with him."

Kit nodded. "Right. And we really need to get going. We're late."

Oh crap the meeting.

"Right! Shit let's go!"

"Wait," Kit stopped her before she could leave. "Thank you. For being honest."

Alyssa smiled slightly. It was barely a flicker, all she had the energy for, but it wasn't for him.

It was for her and Ty.

"Always."

AAAAAA I HOPE YOU LIKE IT!!! I put so much if myself into this chapter as you can probably tell. And for those of you who are waiting for the kitty confrontation, next chapter y'all!!!! It's gonna be a lot!

Tagging: @lavender-scented-rat @thefoxandthefound @littlx-songbxrd @queenlilith43 @arangiajoan  @tired-vin @amchara @wagnerthedragon @sandersgrey @the-wckd-powers @spooky-drusilla @unhinged-aroace @blacktothepink @the-blackdale @have-a-holly-jolly-angstmas @the-reader-who-reads-and-reads

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝑩𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈 (𝑪𝒉𝒐𝒊 𝑱𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒉𝒐) 𝑹𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐢 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐨 (𝐀𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐳)× 𝐒𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐢𝐬𝐭! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 (𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞)

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐅𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟, 𝐒𝐦𝐮𝐭, 𝐈𝐝𝐨𝐥 𝐀𝐔, 𝐄𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠, 𝐘/𝐍 𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐨'𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡. 𝐒𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠....𝐢𝐟 𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐮𝐩 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐫.

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 4.8K

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐤𝐞𝐲 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧, 𝐯𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐧! 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐨, 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐯-𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐝, 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐦! 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫, 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐛! 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐨, 𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐞𝐱 (𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠), 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐣𝐨𝐛, 𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐮𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤, 𝐬𝐞𝐦𝐢-𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐱 (𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐥, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐬 𝐤𝐢𝐝𝐬.), 𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭, 𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐱.

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @little-precious-baby @yunhofingers @multidreams-and-desires @yunhoiseyecandy @cometoceantrenches

𝑪𝒓𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒂 𝒃𝒚 𝒂 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 🖤

★━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━★

The producer turned off the music which confused the artist that was currently inside the recording booth. Taking off the headphones, she fanned out the hair which stuck in between them and looked towards the two males which were sitting outside watching her intensely.

"Is something wrong?"

The long and frustrated sigh the producer emitted let her know something was most certainly wrong.

"It's all wrong. Everything about your singing is wrong." The producer said.

Y/N's mouth dropped open slightly, confused by the man's voice. Tilting her head, she could see the other male who currently had his arms crossed and was looking at her with a smug grin, probably celebrating that she was about to get scolded.

"What is it? Is it the lyrics? Am I off key? Do you want me to sing in a different tone." She could already feel her anxiety rising up.

"No Y/N. The pitch, the lyrics, all that is fine. It's just....there's no feeling whatsoever. This is supposed to be a love song yet it somehow feels extremely melancholic. It's like.....it's like I'm listening to an extremely talented zombie."

The younger male from behind nearly doubled over, a soft snort coming out his nose that he quickly drowned out by covering his mouth and pretended to cough. The girl in the booth blinked slowly, processing that words the producer just said to her.

"We're done for today. We'll continue recording another day. Just please Y/N, try to find some inspiration to help with the feeling of the song. Think of an idol you're crush on, your pet, your favorite food! I don't care! Just try to sound more convincing, please!"

Without so much as another word, the producer slammed the door behind him. Once the girl stepped out of the booth, her eyes darted over to the male in the couch, who could no longer contain himself and began bursting into laughter.

"Oh shut up you gorilla."

Grabbing one of the pillows, she tossed it at his face in vain as he merely caught it and stuffed it underneath his arm.

"I'm not the one who made the producer angry with that screeching of yours." He shrugged.

Letting out an offended scoff, Y/N placed her hands on her hips.

"I do not screech thank you! As if you did any better Jongho."

"Uh....last time I recall, I got through my first half of the song perfectly fine with no screw ups. You on the other hand have been recording over and over again cause you can't fix that hoarse throat of yours." He teased her.

"My voice is not hoarse!" She cried out.

"Ok sure whatever you say. It's ok, I promise I won't say anything about you sucking dick last night and that's why you can hardly talk let alone sing."

"Excuse me?" She raised an eyebrow at him, not amused with another one of his dirty jokes.

"I mean kind of unprofessional to do such things the night before a schedule, but who am I to judge a nymphomaniac?" Wiggling his eyebrows at her, he snorted loudly.

Y/N was going to retaliate the same way she usually did: strike back with a savage remark, insult him personally or even smack his head just for the fun of it. Although she couldn't deny that she probably deserved him teasing her since she was the one who started every time since they began working on the song together, she still felt like he went too far at times. Almost like an annoying brother who seemed to thrive out of making your life miserable. But this time, she wanted to turn it up a few levels, get Choi Jongho to eat his words and shut up once and for all.

"Oh? So you've heard the rumors then?"

He furrowed his eyebrows.

"What rumors?"

Giggling softly, she began to slowly walk over to him, making sure to put a little sway in her hips.

"The rumors about how I give some of the best blowjobs."

She nearly laughed when Jongho's eyes flung open, his Adam's apple bobbing slightly as he swallowed nervously at her words.

"Oh stop playing coy Jongho and just admit it." She brought her face down at eye level with him, Jongho pulling his gaze away immediately at her close proximity.

"Ad-admit what exactly?" He stuttered cutely.

Smirking down at him, she startled him when she suddenly straddled his lap, his hands clutching the leather material under him.

"Admit that you brought it up cause you want to experience that yourself." She ran her fingers through his soft black hair.

"Experience what exactly?" He shifted uncomfortably underneath her, face reddening as he began to feel a small tent begin to form in his jeans, prompting him to stop moving before she felt it.

But Y/N felt it, she could definitely feel his bulge poking at her ass. Unable to stop herself, she rolled her hips against Jongho's, who had a shocked expression on his face.

"Y/N!" He exclaimed, words caught in his throat as he thought about a way to get out of the situation.

"What? Isn't this what you wanted? All those times you made all those sex jokes, wasn't it just to get me like this? On top of you? Ready to sink myself on your cock and ride you as I want?"

Jongho stumbled over his words, small frustrated whimpers spilling out of his lips as his erection grew harder inside his pants due to the incessant roll off her hips. And the way he was involuntarily bucking his hips up at her wasn't helping at all. Leaning down, she grazed her lips over his, her warm breath ghosting over his mouth.

"Just tell me how you want me Jongho. On my knees, on all fours, on the wall? I bet you'd love showing off your strength as you pound my soaking cunt against the-"

"I'm a virgin!"

Once he yelled out those words, Y/N's movements halted. Her eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets as she looked down with extreme surprise at Jongho, whose flushed face and teary eyes told her he wasn't lying to her.

"You're what?!" She quickly got off him, afraid to even be closer than 6 feet from him after his revelation.

"I'm a virgin ok!? I've never done anything with anyone, I haven't even had my first kiss."

He looked utterly ashamed and humiliated having to admit all that, especially when he had a huge problem in between his legs, that Y/N felt really bad for him. She knew she probably took it too far, but how was she supposed to know that he was practically a saint?

"Then why would you always tease me with overly sexual jokes?" She demands to know.

"Because nothing else worked to get you mad. Everything else slid off like butter on you. Besides I had to get back at you for all the times you messed with me. You were the one who started being mean out of nowhere and for no reason."

She definitely couldn't deny that statement. Sighing softly, she leaned back on the chair behind her.

"Ok, I guess I'm sorry about it. I guess I can..... stop pestering you or whatever." She offered.

Jongho's eyes immediately lit up at her words, unable to contain that gummy smile of his.

"Really?"

Y/N didn't know what it was, but seeing him smile like that, looking so adorably innocent and naive, it sparked something in her. She looked him up and down, Jongho was certainly very attractive and she'd be lying if she said she had never thought about what he'd look like without clothes on, his physique was astounding to say the least. She didn't know what it was, but she knew she had to have him.

"If........you give me something in return."

Jongho looked at her in confusion wondering what on earth she could possibly want from him.

"And that is?"

Smiling fondly at him she answered:

"I want to take your virginity."

Jongho widened his eyes, his hand trembling softly.

"You want to what?"

"You heard me Jongho. I want to take your virginity."

He looked so appalled and frightened by her words, his eyes looking down at the floor that she immediately regretted having such thought in the first place. How could she possibly ask him to give up something which was possibly important and sacred to him.

"Look Jongho, I was only kidding. Don't worry about-"

"Ok fine."

Now it was her turn to be shocked.

"Wait. Are you serious?" She looked at him in disbelief.

He nodded, all fear and doubt from before gone.

"But I'm holding you to your word. You better start being nice or so help me I'll ruin your career."

She chuckled dryly at his threat.

"Don't worry, I promise I won't annoy you anymore."

They stood quiet for a few moments, unable to think of something else to say. Jongho was the first to speak up.

"So....should I take off my pants then?"

Y/N cringed at his words.

"Not right here right now Jongho. Maybe in a less public place, like I don't know, my apartment." She suggested.

"Oh right....." Jongho realized how dumb he probably sounded right at that moment.

"Let me know when you don't have any schedules, I'm going to be on break anyways for the next weeks after I finish my goodbye stage tomorrow at Music Bank, so I'll be free any day after that."

Jongho nodded.

"So we're really doing this?" He asked more to himself than to her.

"You can always back out at any point if you want." She reminded him.

"No! It's fine. I'll let you know when I'm available."

Getting up, Jongho grabbed his jacket and phone. Before leaving, he scared Y/N when he suddenly cupped her chin with one hand and kissed the top of her head.

"I'll see you soon Y/N. Take care."

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Y/N paced back and forth. One minute she was sitting quietly on her couch then suddenly she got up and grabbed a glass of water in the kitchen. Why was she so nervous? It's not like she wasn't experienced in sex, but for some reason she felt antsy about what was about to happen.

"Calm down. Just get it over with and try not to scare him to much." She mentally told herself.

She couldn't help but stare at her reflection in the mirror she had in the hallway. She looked at her attire consisting of plain black shorts and a dark grey oversized shirt. Should she change into something more cute? Or was she overdressed? She mentally face palmed herself for thinking that.

"I'm going to end up naked in the end, who the fuck cares about what I'm wearing?" She shook her head at her stupidity.

Hearing the doorbell ring, she actually jumped slightly and let out a small shriek. She took a deep breath and sped over to the front door, hesitating for a second or two as her hand hovered over the handle. Wanting to get it over with, she turned it and opened the door in a rather hasty manner.

"Hey." Jongho shyly greeted her, mask still covering his face, his hat pulled down to hide his forehead.

"Hey you." She moved out of the way to let him inside.

Taking off his mask, hat and jacket, Jongho neatly put them on the rack Y/N had on the front door, making sure to also take off his shoes. Turning around, he looked around everywhere but at her, his hands in his pockets as he rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet.

"How was your day?" She asked him.

"Ummm tiring. I spent most of the day filming with the Hyungs for the new drama we're going to be in. So yeah....." He answered softly.

"Oh I see. Yeah I remember how acting schedules were. Are you hungry? I can whip up some ramen for you fast."

Not giving him time to answer, she took his hand and led him into the kitchen. She began rummaging through her cabinets, taking out a few packets of ramen, thinking Jongho was no doubt hungry.

"Would you like some water? Juice? I made lemonade this morning that-"

She instantly shut up and dropped the ramen packets on the floor when Jongho's hand gripped her wrist and turned her around to face him. He looked nervous, she could feel how his hand trembled against her wrist, and she knew she was probably also mirroring the same expression as he was. Nevertheless, he was determined in what he was going to do. His eyes were fixed firmly on her lips which looked so soft and delicate. Before he and she knew it, he was leaning down and pressing his lips against hers, giving her a faint whisper of a kiss. If Y/N could she would have giggled at how cute he was being, giving her the exact kiss she expected from someone who was having his first kiss. But she held herself back, letting him enjoy himself.

Pulling back, Jongho pressed his forehead against hers, eyes scanning to see her reaction.

"Was it terrible?"

She shook her head and smiled at him with a warm expression.

"No, on the contrary, I enjoyed it."

Unable to help herself, she wrapped her arms up his neck and began pecking his lips.

"Have I told you you're absolutely adorable?"

Now it was his turn to smile as he began to reciprocate her kisses.

"No. You usually called me a bother, gorilla, oversized panda or something like that."

Y/N hummed softly as she slowly began to deepen their kisses, enclosing her lips over Jongho's, her tongue running itself on his upper lip.

"Open your mouth." She gently told him when he didn't get the hint.

Parting his lips slightly, Jongho let out a tiny muffled whine when he felt her tongue poke against his, swirling around his mouth in slow and slimy movements. He felt so awkward having her practically devour his mouth, pulling his tongue between her lips and giving them a slight suck. Feeling him get really awkward, Y/N pulled back.

"Not a fan so far?" She nuzzled her nose against his.

He let out a groan.

"How can you people enjoy it? Feels like an eel is trying to attack me."

Y/N laughed softly at his comparison, not offended but understanding it would take time for him to get used to certain things.

"Hmmm ok. Then let's try something else."

Starting at his jaw, Y/N placed tiny butterfly kisses across it, lowering them down onto his neck. She concentrated on the way his breath would hitch when she'd kiss a certain place, tongue poking out to test the waters and so far he seemed to be ok with it. But he still hardly made any reaction. Did he also not like neck kisses? Or had she not found the right-

"Oh-oh.." Jongho inhaled sharply, his hands coming over to cling onto her hips when she had placed a lick on top of his neck mole.

"So that's where it was."

She mentally smiled before latching her mouth back on top of the patch of skin, suckling on his sensitive spot which had Jongho mumbling something incoherent.

"...feels good.." She made out a few words.

"Yeah? You like this?"

Letting out a tiny gasp when he felt her bite down on his neck, Jongho's head tilted back so she could have more access, eyes shut tight while his bottom lip was caught between his teeth. He didn't think he'd be that receptive to her suckling, yet here he found himself, pressed against her kitchen counter, barely able to keep his hands away from her as they were now sliding down to cup her ass. Kneading at the soft skin, he didn't notice he had begun to rut himself on her thigh which was currently between his legs until she had pulled back and told him about it.

"You're already this turned on by just a hickey?" She gazed down in between their bodies.

"Oh?......I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

Shutting him up with a kiss, she linked their hands together before pulling him out of the kitchen.

"Don't apologize."

Jongho allowed himself to be lead into her room, letting her guide him to the bed where he obediently layed down on. He was unsure of what to do when he felt her tug at his shirt.

"Off."

It was a simple command yet he found it hard to bring himself to do it. He began to feel self conscious. Although he was proud of his body, would she think the same way? What if she preferred less bulky men? Or what if she didn't think he was that fit? It seemed Y/N knew what he was thinking about since she slipped her hands underneath his shirt, lightly caressing his bare torso.

"Don't be shy. I bet you look fine."

Raising his arms over his head so it'd be easier for her to help him slip his shirt off, he looked at her and blushed slightly when her eyes raked over his arms, his muscles flexing unconsciously.

"Ok well, bet lost. You look better than fine." She fought hard to keep herself from drooling over his large built. Jongho truly was one of the most mesmerizing idols she had ever seen, and she had seen a lot of them since she debuted.

"So think my body looks ok?"

Instead of replying, Y/N opted for hunching over and start giving his chest open mouth kisses. She didn't break eye contact whatsoever as she dragged her tongue down his abs, further flustering the poor boy who was eyeing her every movements very carefully. The further down she got, the more needy he seemed to be getting. Suddenly his jeans felt too confining, too restricting. He got an urgent need in between his legs that he had never felt so intensely as he felt at that moment.

"Y/N....." He called out to her, fingertips grazing her hair.

Retracting her mouth from his stomach, which now had a purple mark forming, Y/N looked up at him with concern.

"Do you want me to stop?"

Jongho shook his head. Bucking his hips up against her body, he licked his lower lip.

"Please do something."

When she still didn't understand what he meant, he took hold of her hand and placed it on his crotch, making her subtly squeeze at the hardness. Getting the hint, Y/N thought it would be a little fun to tease him just once more.

"What? Want me to take you out of these pants?" With a roll of her palm, she had Jongho hissing lightly as she groped at his hard on.

"Yes please. Touch me." He urged her to continue.

Wanting to please him, she began undoing his zipper, opening up his pants before dragging them down his thick thighs along with his underwear. She had to flinch her head back when his girthy cock sprang free and nearly hit against her chin. She had her mouth agape as she took in his size, resting on top of his stomach.

"Jesus, I knew you'd be big but I didn't think you'd be..... that big."

Jongho giggled nervously at her comment.

"Well thanks for that."

Pretty soon, his pants were also discarded on the floor. Y/N took in the sight of Jongho fully naked on her bed, chest slowly rising up and lowering back down, anxious to find out what she was going to do next. Settling herself between his legs, she hummed softly before taking a hold of his base, that action alone making him tense up.

"Just relax ok? I know it'll probably feel awkward for you at first but just try not to think too much." She encouraged him.

Jongho nodded and decided to not look down at her, instead choosing to gaze up at the ceiling above him. He grimaced slightly when he heard and felt her spit on his dick, feeling odd about having her saliva ooze down his length. But soon after, he let out a sighed softly as he felt what he assumed was her hand running up and down his shaft. He couldn't help but close his eyes as he began to get lost in the euphoric feeling. He would occasionally inhale sharply everytime her thumb would run itself along his slit, hips rolling up to match the strokes she placed on his cock. Jongho already felt a blissful sensation that he thought couldn't get any better.....and then he felt something warm wrap around his head.

"Oh- fuck!" Jongho's eyes shot up as he stared down to find Y/N giving his tip the most subtle of sucks yet it was more than enough to make him go wild.

"Sorry. You just looked too irresistible that I just had to. Hope you don't mind." She winked at him before sinking more of him into her mouth.

His cock twitched when he felt himself hit the back of her throat, the gagging sound she made making him worry momentarily, but it was obvious it didn't bother her as she just dragged her tongue down to his base before coming back up and taking all of him inside her mouth once more. Her head began bobbing up and down as lewd slurping noises spilled from her mouth. Sloppily, she'd swirl her tongue around him, sometimes even dipping it into his slit when she would pull back before going back down until her nose touched his pubic bone. Meanwhile Jongho had his hands fisting the blanket underneath him, his hips trying to hold back from grinding up against Y/N's mouth in fear of accidentally hurting her. When she gave him a particularly harsh suck, his hips jerked up and he was immediately pushing her face away.

"Stop! T-too much!" He gasped out, already looking out of breath with sweat beads forming along his hairline.

"I'm sorry, guess I got a little carried away." She wiped some of the drool and precum that collected around her chin.

While he layed there trying to collect himself, Y/N took the opportunity to begin stripping herself out of her clothes. Throwing her shirt over her head, Jongho whimpered when he saw that she had worn no bra underneath her garment, her bare chest greeting him out of nowhere. He couldn't peel his eyes from her, looking up at her in amazement and admiration as she sat on top of him completely nude.

"You're beautiful..." He didn't realize he said it out loud.

"Really? You think so? I was a little worried since I gained a bit of weight during my hiatus." She pouted slightly.

"Oh trust me, you have nothing to be worried about. You're gorgeous." He couldn't help himself but praise her, feeling himself fall deeper into her charms.

Pulling him up, Y/N wrapped her arms around him, lips coming down to kiss him tenderly, making sure not to slip any tongue in his mouth since he obviously didn't enjoy it very much. Jongho seemed to have gained a little more confidence, his hands coming up to caress her back, before fully embracing her with his arms, pulling her closer against him. As he shifted underneath her, his cock made contact with her wet core, making them both moan into each other's mouths before pulling away, their breaths getting caught in their throats.

Looking at him one last time, Y/N had to ask.

"Are you completely sure you still wanna go through with this?"

Jongho didn't hesitate, instead laying back down as he looked up at her.

"Yes I'm sure. Just please.....be gentle." He begged her.

Fighting back her urges to just ruin him completely, Y/N took a hold of his base and lined him up against her opening. Wanting to take it slow, she first slipped his head inside.

"You doing ok so far?"

He nodded reassuringly.

"Yeah....feels kinda like having your mouth around it, only it's a lot warmer and more tighter."

Slowly and slowly, Y/N began to sink lower onto his length before fully sitting on top of him. Jongho let out a choked out gasp as her hole covered him entirely, squeezing him all around.

"H-holy!" He cried out in a raspy tone, fingers reaching out to grip at her thighs to help him stabilize himself.

Y/N waited a few seconds to let him adjust to the newfound feeling, smiling to herself whenever she felt his cock twitch inside of her.

"I'm going to pull back out now ok?" She explained.

Pushing herself off him she then lowered herself back onto him, moaning softly as he stretched her walls out deliciously. She kept a steady pace, making sure to slow back down whenever he seemed to get agitated or overwhelmed her strokes which she noticed by the way his breathing became more erratic or how his nails began digging into her flesh. Taking his hands off her thighs, she held them in her own, bringing one of them up to place a kiss on the back of it.

"You're doing great so far Jongho."

Hearing her praise him sent his heart fluttering, his eyes locked on where their bodies were connected, breathing and panting heavily everytime he watched himself disappear inside her folds before reappearing again, only to be safely enveloped once more by her velvet like walls. He felt an unfamiliar feeling begin to build up in his core, it felt like one of the many times he had secretly jerked off back in the dorms, but this one felt stronger and more intense. He couldn't keep himself from squirming as he began to shudder against his will underneath Y/N.

"Y/N! It's- oh my!" He couldn't fully comprehend what was happening to him, he just felt himself spiraling down into some hazy state.

"It's ok baby, just let it go. You're about to cum, it's ok. Just cum for me, show me how good you're feeling." She cooed at him lovingly.

Through shivering and stuttered whimpers, Jongho came inside her, his cum spurting out in heavy pumps as he coated her insides entirely. Y/N made sure to slow down so as to not overstimulate him, the orgasm he was going through probably already being too much for him. She just watched as his eyebrows were furrowed, a tiny vein protruding out from his forehead, mouth hanging open as his entire features were illuminated by extreme pleasure and euphoria. Her movements completely stilled after a while, taking a minute or two before pulling out of him entirely, a tiny trail of his cum leaking out and dripping down one of her thighs. Brushing some of his hair out of his face, she kissed his cute button nose.

"How are you feeling?" She studied his features.

Through hooded eyes, he smiled shyly up at her.

"Like I'm in heaven."

She chuckled at his answer, her hand stroking his cheek in a gentle motion, making him melt even further into her touch.

"I wish we could spend more time like this....just cuddled up together like this. Touching each other like this." He confessed, eyes staring deeply into hers.

"Who says we can't?" She arched an eyebrow.

"I mean...... but like.... you don't like me in that way do you?" He braced himself for what he expected to be rejection, but surprisingly Y/N simply kissed his cheek.

"I'm actually growing quite fond of you Jongho... I think I would really enjoy spending more time alone like this with you."

Once again his gummy smile overtook his features, making him look even more handsome than what he already was. Jongho felt absolutely happy to hold her in his arms, have her smile at him with that breathtaking smile of hers. Then suddenly he realized something.

"Ummm.... you didn't cum did you?"

He felt so bad when she shook her head, his head slumping back on the pillow as he let out a dissatisfied groan. Y/N however didn't seemed too bothered by it.

"Jongho, it was your first time. I knew you were probably going to cum before me. It's perfectly normal."

Her words didn't give him much assurance.

"Still, I feel bad. Do you want me to do something?" He offered.

"Well actually...."

With a mischievous grin, she spread his legs and ran her hands along his firm and toned thighs, eyeing them as if they were some exotic dessert. Jongho gave her a puzzled look when she straddled one of them, her juices already soaking his bare skin.

"Just stay still and let me introduce you to a little something called thigh riding."

[punderfulowl]

Top 10 Anime (That I've Seen) in 2020

Well now, it has certainly been awhile. I'm currently sitting at eight months too late for posting this, but, y'know, something something life happens. More accurately, I already made this list, but wanted to try out what response I'd get from Reddit. Turns out, they're not as cool as you guys!

Anyways, as the title states, this is not a list of my favorite anime that came out during 2020, but instead my favorite anime that I just so happen to see during that year. While it's fun to have an end of the year retrospective, I find that having a list in this format not only adds variety, but also helps bring attention to anime that might have been lost in the shuffle in previous years (I also don't have enough time to stay caught up in seasonal releases).

Honorable mentions:

Aggretsuko S3, My Hero Academia S4, Today's Menu For the Emiya Family, Interspecies Reviewers (yes, really), and I Couldn't Become a Hero So I Reluctantly Decided to Get a Job

10. Maid-Sama (2010)

In hindsight, I find it a bit funny that I wanted to watch something wholesome to kick off 2020. Anyway, Maid-Sama is about a high school girl that is also a no nonsense Class President and she kind of has to be at a school where, until recently, was an all boys school. While she kills it in academics and is good at shutting down any shenanigans from the male student body, her financial situation isn't the greatest and has to balance a job at a maid cafe along with her school-related responsibilities. She does her best to hide her employment there to keep up appearances, but is one day found out by one of the boys who happens to be a big flirt and, yeah, hijinks ensue. While this anime doesn't have too many surprises, our main leads bounce off each other well enough to keep me entertained. Nothing I haven't seen already in other anime Rom-Coms, but I think it has more than earned its place at the start of this list.

9. Haganai NEXT (2013)

It's a personal rule of mine when making these lists that I don't include sequels of shows that were in previous lists. While I DID see the first season of Haganai a couple of years ago, it didn't quite make it into the top ten at that time. Because of that, it meets the criteria for this year's list. While I found the characters were just as charming here as I did during the first season, the development of their relationships really took off. It's a shame that it will most likely not get a third season, but I'm happy with what ride this show gave me. But hey! At least I can read the light novels/manga to continue the story! Wait, nevermind, the Haganai fans on Reddit are saying that's a bad idea.

8. Engaged to the Unidentified (2014)

Based off of a Four Panel joke manga, Engaged to the Unidentified tells the story of a girl in high school suddenly getting some life changing news. As it turns out, her grandfather made an arranged engagement with her and the son of a family he knew. Next thing she knows, the boy in question, as well as his little sister, moves into her family's house! While the boy is unassuming at first, there may be more to him and his family than he lets on. Plain and simple, this anime has charmed me. There's a decent amount of drama and mystery despite the source material and I applaud it! Even though this also doesn't have much new to offer, even to the point where I would compare this to Maid-Sama, what made me pick this at the 8th spot were the color choices and animation quality. Give this a shot if you can!

7. Grimoire of Zero (2017)

It's a fantasy/adventure story starring a loli sorcerer and a huge, anthropomorphic white tiger man. I honestly can't say anything else. I won't be able to do it justice. That first sentence should intrigue you a lease a little bit. Read it, again. Please check it out. It's an underrated gem that no one is talking about.

6. ID: Invaded (2020)

Hey, here's something recent! Unfortunately, this is also not something I can say much about. There may not be too many deep characters and the secret bad guy isn't hard to figure out, but BOY is this anime cool! The best way to describe this series is that it's like the movie Inception, but instead of brain heists, it's brain murder mysteries.

5. Carole and Tuesday (2019)

A runaway rich girl has a fated meeting with an orphan and they decide to make music together...oh, this also takes place Mars. Joking aside, this show was something special with its music (a new song almost every episode no less), interesting setting (freaking Mars, dude), and endearing main cast. Shoot, the music itself would be top 3, maybe number 1, but what bogs it down is the show's second half. I can easily see myself watching this again someday, and maybe my opinion will lighten up, but for now, 5 is a dang good spot.

4. Fate/Grand Order: Absolute Demonic Front - Babylonia (2019)

Part of me hesitates placing this high up on list due to this show being animated, fan service spectacle for Fate fans. However, that hesitation is overshadowed by the fact that I am a Fate fan myself and I can do whatever I want with this list. Even if you're not a Fate fan or play FGO, if you enjoy some solid fight animation, this is worth a look.

3. K-On S1 (2009)

I'll admit it, I might regret not watching the second season then putting the series on the list as a whole, but this how I've been doing these lists and I'm such a creature of habit. There's not much I can say about K-On that hasn't already been said. By itself it's an anime classic and one of Kyo-ani's biggest properties. It's a sweet and wholesome watch, but be sure to have some insulin within reach.

2. Princess Principal (2017)

Imagine you're working with a team of programmers trying to make a mobile game then all of a sudden someone asks to make a show out of it. You know, a show with different character motivations, plot, twist and turns and all that? Most might say that's just a shameless, shallow cash grab, but it turns out okay for Princess Principal. Sure, most might summarize this anime as, "cute girls doing espionage things," but with its cast, visuals, and interesting alternative timeline, it works! Apparently there's a new season or movie in the works and I am all for it!

1. Beastars (2019)

I was not expecting this to be number one, but with much deliberation (with myself obviously) this feels right. It tells a pretty unique story while showing itself to be the exception to the rule when it comes to 3D anime.....it being that it's actually good. While I acknowledge that shows like K-On are classics and deserves to be number one on many different lists, it didn't line up with my personal criteria like Beastars did. My biggest deciding factor is: Now that I've watched this, do I want more? It's true that while I'm excited to start K-On S2, Beastars intrigues me more and ever since season two was announced, I'm looking forward to that more.

Sorry again for this list being so late, but at least the silver lining is that the next end of the year list is about four months away (in theory)!

[aetheternity]

Hard pass 2 (Levi x Reader)

I'm a little concerned about how little time I took on the ending for the last part so I'm gonna put a little more time into this one. Hope you guys enjoy. :)

Synopsis: Levi is forced out of his comfy dorm room and in a strange twist of events right into your arms at a college party.

Levi was transfixed to say the least. He'd spent the past hour that he'd been back in his dorm room staring into a freshly made cup of black tea. The small jingling of keys in the door shaking him from his daze.

"Hello, Hello Leviathan." Mike greeted, tossing his bag to the side haphazardly.

Any other time Levi would've rolled his eyes but he just let out an agitated huff.

"Uh oh.. I know that look." Mike announced plopping down onto his unmade bed. "Who's the lucky girl?" He asked his smirk bright.

Levi's hair whipped against his cheek as he turned to Mike. "What are you on about? Who told you?" Probably Hange. Damn four eyes could never keep her mouth shut.

"No one had to." Mike laughed "You've just told me basically everything I need to know. Your distracted gaze when I came in the room, having very little reaction to me calling you Leviathan, your tea cup is still full and my side of the room is still messy." He seemed a little too pleased about that last bit.

"I know you went out tonight." He continued

"And what about it?"

"Who is she?!" Mike stood coming closer to sit on the edge of Levi's desk.

Levi rolled his eyes setting his cup down.

"Come on, I'm curious about some mysterious girl that has Levi Ackerman wrapped around her finger."

"Just shut up already." Levi replied turning his gaze to the window with a small pout.

"Fine, fine I'll shut up." Mike stood heading back towards his side of the room. An idea suddenly popped into his mind and he turned on his heel. "But.. I think I'll give Hange a call. You know.. cause I haven't talked to her in a bit-"

"When did you become so annoying?" Levi grumbled

"You're more aggressive tonight I like it. Is it because of her?"

As much as Levi wanted to fight it, Mike was one of those people that always got information about literally anything if he genuinely wanted it. Even if he didn't find out from Hange or Levi he was definitely going to find out from even the weirdest sources.

"Hange's friend.. she's not ugly I guess.." Levi could feel his face growing warm and he pulled his feet up onto his desk chair to hide it.

Mike laughed obnoxiously, "It's like watching a little kid finding out what a crush is." He chuckled "Super cute. So when are you going to ask her out?"

"Never."

Mike crossed the room again, seating himself on his bed. "You can't be serious! This is the first time I've ever seen you interested in girls and you're just gonna let her get away?"

"Stay out of my business, Michelangelo."

Mike just huffed reaching into his pocket to pry his phone out of his pocket. The room quickly grew quiet as Levi turned to his laptop though he was quickly distracted again by Mike's little chuckles. He turned his head in Mike's direction quickly catching the other male's gaze.

"By the way, Hange agrees with me." He said pointing to his phone.

Levi groaned, tugging at his hair. "Eat shit."

~ ~ ~ ~

Levi stared down at his watch with a soft tch.

It was 4pm and Hange was late again. He turned to Erwin who's face was currently pressed into a book. Thumb sliding along the sentences as he read.

"Where the hell is she?" He grumbled, shaking his mouse back and forth as the screen began to dim.

"She said she had to do something after class so she'd be a little late." Erwin replied, without looking up from his book.

"That's her excuse every time." Levi replied with a roll of his eyes.

Erwin just shrugged. Hange was always late. Sometimes she just showed up 30 minutes late with no real explanation and sometimes she showed up an hour late saying she had, had something to do after class. But every time the three of them got together to study she was late.

"Yo! Levi!" Hange greeted as she walked into the library ignoring the chorus of shushing that followed her.

Levi's scowl deepened, "Were you stuck on the toilet waiting for someone to fuck off?" He asked

"I have a great surprise follow me." She clapped in delight.

Erwin looked to Levi and then in the direction Hange had left in. He slowly pushed his chair out looking at Levi's irritated scowl.

"Are you coming."

"Whatever it is, is definitely stupid knowing Hange." Levi retorted, packing his belongings up in an orderly fashion.

The two of them quickly left before Hange could come back to ruin the peace again. They pushed through the library doors and standing against the wall with a somewhat bashful expression was Y/N with Hange who smiled brightly as if she wasn't currently disturbing Levi's peace.

"Oh hello Y/N." Erwin greeted, he looked over at Levi before asking. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh well Hange invited-"

"Ah ha ha! Y/N has homework to do so I figured she could come study with us. Though today me and Erwin have a thing." She quickly grabbed Erwin's arm yanking him over to her.

"But I was-" Erwin tried but was instantly silenced by Hange's hand over his mouth.

"You and Levi can study. Levi's great with everything! Right Levi? Ok me and Erwin will go now, by you two!"

"Hange!" Levi tried, his face already flushed with heat over the whole situation. Hange was surprisingly fast though, managing to drag Erwin away so quick they were a couple of dots within seconds.

Levi and Y/N stood in silence for a couple seconds before Y/N let out a deep exhale. "I feel as though we've been set up." She says, toying with the zippers on her back.

Levi can only manage a grunt in reply. Not daring to look into her eyes. "Well I mean.." she starts turning to Levi. "I actually do.. have to study so.. I wouldn't mind if you don't." She shrugged

"Mm.." Levi pulled open the library door for Y/N and lead her over the seats that him and Erwin had been sitting in only moments before.

He made a mental note as he opened his laptop again to keep the door locked next time Hange said she was coming over. Around 10 minutes went by of complete silence and Levi was incredibly happy for it.

Not because he was focusing, no his attention had been completely taken away from any possible work he could've gotten done here. There was no way he was actually going to be able to do anything when your scent was trapped in his nose and his eyes kept staring over his screen at your fingers.

Knuckles that Levi honestly wanted to kiss and fingernails completely devoid of dirt which Levi was instantly captivated by.

"Hey-"

He sat up straight, his own hands slightly curling around the aged wood of the table. Your book came sliding toward him and he looked down at it before looking back at you.

"I don't really get this? Could you help me a bit?"

Levi nodded before his brain could properly process what you'd asked. He almost thought he imagined the way your lip tucked itself under your teeth. And he felt dazed as your scent washed over him all at once as you slid into the seat next to him.

You pointed to your book and Levi tried to pay attention to your question but your notes threw him a bit. All the words were written in different colors and there were squiggly lines around definitions and texts. Small doodles between paragraphs as a way to properly space them and stars next to the most important words.

You scratched at your scalp and he took notice. "I paid attention when my professor was going over this I swear. But I don't really get it?? It can't be as difficult as I'm making it in my head." Your giggle of nervousness took Levi back a little.

The warm pit in his chest deepened and he sighed, trying to accurately assess the situation.

"Y-you made a small.. mathematical error." He explained, his fingers pointed to the equation as he tried to push away the ball in his throat. "You don't need these numbers."

Her smile hit Levi like a truck as it was instantly directed towards him. "Ah, you're so smart." Y/N said "What about this? I checked with the calculator but my answer was way off."

It was hard for Levi to ignore the way your shoulder rubbed up against his sending sparks all through his body like a tidal wave. It was honestly a little overwhelming.

"Oh sorry, am I too close?" You moved away and Levi gulped. He stared at your fingers, he didn't want you to move away.

He was surprised when he looked up and instantly made eye contact with you. "Stay." It probably didn't come out the way he'd wanted but he'd managed it and on some level he was proud of himself.

You smiled, "Sure."

After a while Levi felt himself loosen up a bit but the knot in his stomach was still very much there and alive. He found himself chuckling at your little jokes and he was mostly able to look you in the eyes. (As long as you didn't smile directly at him).

The first hour had been studying with small quips from your end that Levi found he enjoyed. Though around the third hour it turned into horror stories about present and past roommates.

Your laugh was so bright as you tapped your pen cap against the table. "And then Sasha just cracks the window open though it's definitely too late cause Connie had already created a war zone in our room." You were shaking so much from laughter that Levi was honestly a little worried you'd fall out of your chair.

He shook his head where he was resting it in his palm. "I still think Mike forgetting the do not disturb sign was worse." He shrugged

"Mm well maybe someday I'll have a story that bad. Considering Connie and Sasha have been playing a dangerous game of cat and mouse for two years now."

Levi shook his head. "You don't want to walk in on your roommate having sex. No one does.."

He felt his cheeks flush over again. Whether it was from the story or the way you'd playfully pushed his shoulder though he couldn't tell. He watched as you positioned yourself back in the seat next to him.

"Ok, ok. You told me about your roommates relationships. Now tell me about yours."

"What?"

Y/N playfully rolled her eyes. "You know the in and out of Levi. I'm curious."

Levi's gaze fell to the table. "There's nothing to tell."

Y/N's voice immediately softened. "Sorry, didn't mean to try and pull it out of you."

Levi picked up his head closing his laptop. "I-I just.. never felt that way.." he tried

"Not everyone goes to college and high school and stuff for the parties, drugs and sex." You said, laying your elbows against the desk. "I commend you for having a goal and sticking with it."

Levi's heart stuttered at your words. "Did you come.. or well.. umm? What did you-"

He was interrupted by your hand on his shoulder again. "To answer your question." You leaned in closer your breath tickling Levi's earlobe. "Yes I did come specifically for the drugs."

Levi's eyes practically bulged out of his head. This time when you laughed you were met with shushing and stares. "Sorry." You whispered, popping a hand over your mouth. "I'm completely joking." You then said to Levi who's shoulders relaxed with the information.

Levi's signature deadpanned expression was starting to make an appearance now. "That's not funny."

"Hmm.. well I'm laughing so." Y/N laid her head on the table.

"Your humor is shit." He said

"Funny you say that." She laughed back a smirk was playing at Levi's lips. "Hey." Y/N broke the lingering silence.

"What?"

"Give me your number."

"Tch, nice way to ask."

Y/N pretended to be shocked. "Oh, would you prefer I beg?"

Levi already knew how red his entire face had become. No need to check a mirror. "H-hand me your p-phone."

Unsurprisingly even her phone wa as cute. And Levi honestly wanted to admire the case and how warm it felt after being in your pockets. Oh.. you'd touched it with your warm hands. Levi couldn't help but think about how warm your hands must feel. How the spaces between your fingers looked so perfect. Like they-

"Hey." A voice shook Y/N and Levi.

"Jean, what're you doing here?" Y/N asked as she stood moving closer to him.

"You've been gone all day. I had to ask Sasha where you were."

"No, you didn't because you didn't need to come here." Y/N crossed her arms over her chest, pulling her hands into the sleeves of her hoodie. Her eyebrows scrunched together.

"Who's this?" Jean asked gesturing to Levi with his head. Levi felt his chest flare a little.

"Ugh, it doesn't matter because it has nothing to do with you!" She quickly grabbed her bag stuffing her notebook inside. "I'll talk to you later Levi." She explained her face still completely unamused. And with that she was pushing Jean out the door following him right out.

Levi's fingers dug into his palm. Who was that? It couldn't have been her boyfriend right? No, no that didn't make sense.

He started to pack up himself when he noticed your pretty phone sat next to his ordinary black one.

~ ~ ~ ~

Levi practically slammed into his dorm room scaring Mike who had his music blasting. Levi set his bag down on his chair, placing his phone on the desk.

"Hey man." Mike greeted as Levi quickly unpacked his other stuff. "I heard Hange forced you to go on a study date."

"I'm going to murder her." Levi turned, practically slamming his notebook into the desk. So hard that he could've sworn Mike jumped.

"Yeah what else is new?" He laughed trying to clear the air. "But did you at least get in close?"

Levi rolled his eyes. "She's.. there's this guy.."

Mike grew quiet for a few seconds. "You think she's with him?"

Levi normally wouldn't indulge Mike like this but his chest felt so tight that he was pretty sure he was going to burst. "She didn't seem happy to see him. She was like rolling her eyes when he came."

"Maybe he's just some guy then?"

"What if he isn't?"

"By the way you're describing it they'll break up soon anyway." Mike said "But that's great my plan worked."

Levi narrowed his eyes, "The library thing was you?"

Mike shrugged, "Hey, It could've been worse! Hange wanted to lock you guys in a supply closet for the night."

"Sleep with one eye open." Levi huffed, placing your phone down on his desk.

Mike immediately noticed, sitting up and placing his own phone to the side. "Don't tell me you murdered her and stole her phone for having a boyfriend that wasn't you." He chuckled

"Tch, she accidentally left it."

"How are you gonna return it?"

"I'll ask Hange for her dorm number tomorrow and I'll hand it over then."

"Ooo, well I would tell you not to go looking through her phone while you have it. But you're not like me so.." Mike shrugged, laying down with both hands holding his phone above his head.

Levi looked at Mike and then at your phone sitting on his desk. He silently looked away, putting away the rest of his stuff with a huff.

[old-childhood-drama]

Taylor Swift and Joe Jonas Masterpost (Toe/Jaylor)

Before dating (May 2008)

We start with the Taylor lookalike

In May 2008 the Jonas Brothers are filming their music video for Burnin’ Up [x]. Joe’s love interest in it is played by a blonde girl who looks quite a bit (and she’s also styled) like Taylor Swift, for reference, this is the music video that has Selena Gomez as Nick Jonas’ love interest.

As far as we know they hadn’t even met so we don’t know exactly what this was supposed to mean, maybe Joe had a crush on Taylor or maybe it’s a coincidence.

We do know that Nick and Selena were dating when this was filmed and that by the time the MV was released (July 4th, 2008) Joe and Taylor were officially dating.

Toe is alive! (July 2008 – September 2008)

On Tour

Fans claim to have seen Taylor around the tour in early July, which matches with Taylor’s lyrics in "Last Kiss".

Last Kiss. Taylor Swift.

I do recall now the smell of the rain

Fresh on the pavement, I ran off the plane

That July 9th, the beat of your heart

It jumps through your shirt

On July 14th, Taylor and The Jonas Brothers perform “Should’ve Said No”[x] from her debut album, and this performance now forever exists in their 3D movie (a classic), a cute fact is that some fans have said that Taylor tripped when she first came out, so they had to repeat it for the movie.

On July 20th Joe flies to Wyoming to watch Taylor opening up for Rascal Flatts, and they flew back and she was spotted at the Omaha show.

She’s seen in a couple shows more and she joins the stage again for their Madison Square Garden shows in August [x]. They sing “Even now just looking at you feels wrong”.

They’re together but they’re not together.

For more context, we must remember that Taylor was a very new artist from a small label and The Jonas were pretty much at their peak and Disney’s biggest act, and they were managed like crazy and could never even think about being seen with someone in a romantic way. Any rumors were denied so fast, and Disney did the absolute most to keep it secret. So according to everyone they were just good friends, at the time both Taylor and Selena were annoyed by all the secrecy.

Now back to the timeline:

Taylor is backstage of the tour A LOT for the next couple of weeks right next to the other not-girlfriends Selena and Danielle.

She films a cameo for the “Love Is on Its Way” [x] video for the concert in New York. She was said to be only interested in hanging out with Joe and they were seen hugging *gasp* I know it doesn’t seem like much now but back then this was the hottest gossip and again the Jonas were not supposed to breathe near any human of the opposite gender.

Taylor and the Jonas were staying at the same hotel a bunch of rumors ensued, but I will not talk about the whole Olympics and Toe locking themselves in a room at midnight thing. If it’s real, we really needed to touch some grass and stop staying outside of people's rooms all night.

On August 17th Joe goes to Ryan Seacrest's show and denied that Taylor is his girlfriend in the best way a corporation like Disney can train you to deny something that’s true. Saying Taylor is “a great girl and I think anybody would be lucky to date her. I think anybody would love to go on a date with her.”

And Taylor tells People Magazine “He’s an amazing guy and anybody would be lucky to be dating him” Cinematic parallels.

Taylor is spotted in the back (in a mirror) of one of the Jonas youtube videos [x]. Basically, we all knew they were together.

The Central Park date (August 28th)

Now if you were a fan of either the Jonas Brothers, Selena, or Taylor you know this next part and it the iconic triple date of Central Park.

Again, this is kind of famous at this point and Selena has been quoted saying how awful it was because the boys were not allowed to be seen with them so they all went to Central Park (Selena’s first time in Central Park) and Taylor and Selena walked about 20 feet of distance from the guys so nobody would think they were together but we all already knew because it wasn’t like they were that good at hiding it and there are pictures of them together that night (the clownery of it all).

These backstage tour adventures are the reason Taylor and Selena are friends today and in Selena’s own words the best thing to come out of those relationships.

VMAs (September 2008)

With how many pictures of them together that night [x] [x] [x] exist you would think they had gone together as a couple but no just two besties! The 2008 VMAs are so the show where Russell Brand mocks the Jonas Brothers and their purity rings and Taylor publicly defends them.

Toe seems happy for the rest of September but as we know now the end is near.

The Break-Up (October 2008)

Social Media was different back then and Taylor did what every teen girl with a broken heart did in 2008 and she went to myspace with an edited post to make a statement about the Toe current situation.

Post-Breakup

The 27 seconds Joe Jonas will regret for the rest of his life.

Taylor went on Ellen and I don’t even think I need to say much this interview is THAT iconic she sat on that couch and told the world exactly how Joe had broken her heart in the following two quotes:

“There’s one that’s about that guy, but…that guy’s not in my life anymore unfortunately. That guy…that’s an ouch.”

“I’m not even gonna be able to remember the boy who broke up with me over the phone in 25 seconds when I was 18…it was like 27 seconds, that’s got to be a record.” [x]

She also went on Ryan Seacrest’s and when asked about the perfect guy she saw an opportunity and took it, saying “I used to always say sense of humor, but I think that it’s important to have the same kind of sense of humor. I have a really dry, sarcastic sense of humor and if somebody doesn’t think that my sense of humor is funny, then that’s not something that is good. Um, so sometimes you know, that can be a wrong match. If they’re not allowed to go in public with me, that’s sort of an issue too.” [x]

Bonus the amazing youtube video Taylor posted with Joe’s Camp Rock doll and how he comes with his own phone to break up with other dolls [x]. Taylor eventually went full out and cited Camilla Belle (then girlfriend of Joe) as the reason for the breakup. And you know someone at Disney’s PR office wanted to die when this was going down.

So finally, Joe was forced to acknowledge the whole situation with a Myspace post:

"I never cheated on a girlfriend. It might make someone feel better to assume or imply I have been unfaithful, but it is simply not true. Maybe there were reasons for a breakup. Maybe the heart moved on. Perhaps feelings changed. I am truly saddened that anything would potentially cause you to think less of me. For those who have expressed concern over the "27 second” phone call. I called to discuss feelings with the other person. Those feelings were obviously not well received. I did not end the conversation. Someone else did. Phone calls can only last as long as the person on the other end of the line is willing to talk. “

Forever & Always

Now this song is known as THE Toe song and it was born out of the end of the relationship when she felt Joe was getting distant, but she couldn’t do anything to help it, it was made really late into the production of Fearless so she had to rush to finish it in time (so no other breakup songs are about Joe in the original album).

Forever & Always Was I out of line? Did I say something way too honest, made you run and hide Like a scared little boy I looked into your eyes Thought I knew you for a minute, now I’m not so sure

In the 2009 Grammy's Taylor and Miley (insert The Ex-Girlfriends Club Theory here) performed Fifteen (obviously not about Joe) and the Jonas were in the audience. I believe this is probably around the time Taylor writes Mr. Perfectly Fine and You All Over Me, which we know get to have thanks to Fearless (Taylor’s Version) 13 years later.

You All Over Me

The best and worst day of June

Was the one that I met you

With your hands in your pockets

And your 'don't you wish you had me' grin

But I did, so I smiled, and I melted like a child

Now every breath of air I breathe reminds me of then

Mr. Perfectly Fine

'Cause I hear he's got his arm 'round a brand-new girl

I've been pickin' up my heart, he's been pickin' up her

And I never got past what you put me through

But it's wonderful to see that it never phased you

In November of 2009, she also goes to SNL and mocks Joe in her monologue. "You might think I'd bring up Joe That guy who broke up with me on the phone But I'm not gonna mention him *rolls eyes* In my monologue [Spoken:]Hey Joe, I'm doing real well, tonight I'm hosting SNL [Sings:]But I'm not gonna brag about that In my monologue [x]"

To make things even more dramatic and very awkward The Jonas Brothers, Demi Lovato, and Taylor Swift spent NYE together watching the ball drop on TV and this was probably not how they wanted to start their years. [x] [x] [x] and a video [x]

Now let’s discussed some of the songs that came out at the time. The Jonas response to Forever & Always was Much Better. Nick described it as a song that was very personal to Joe and Joe went on to say that it was based on his very interesting year. They also at some point wanted to pretend the song was about their love for their fans but come on. Joe also changed the lyrics from ‘superstar’ to ‘country star’ and later changed it to ‘movie stars’ when he broke up with Camilla who is the ‘Much Better’ girl from the song.

Much Better - Jonas Brothers

I get a rep for breakin’ hearts

Now I’m done with superstars

And all the tears on her guitar

I’m not bitter

But now I see

Everything I’d ever need

Is the girl in front of me

She’s much better

Taylor’s iconic response in Better Than Revenge seems to be more of an attack on Camilla. She’s spoken about her regret for this song since then and hasn’t played it in years and Camilla seems to be ok we never forgiving her for it [x] [x]. Regardless this song remains a staple of the genre ‘Feminism OFF, Bops ON’.

“I was 18 when I wrote [“Better Than Revenge.”] That’s the age you are when you think someone can actually take your boyfriend. Then you grow up and realize no one can take someone from you if they don’t want to leave”. - Taylor 2014.

Better Than Revenge - Taylor Swift

Let's hear the applause (Come on, come on)

Come on, show me how much better you are

(So much better, yeah?)

See you deserve some applause

'Cause you're so much better

She also released "Last Kiss" about the nicer part of their relationship, and some believe other songs such as If This Was a Movie, Haunted (Speak Now) and Jump Then Fall (Fearless) are about Joe. From the Jonas, the other song believed to be about Taylor is Paranoid (Lines, Vines and Trying Times).

Jump Then Fall

Well, I like the way your hair falls in your face

You got the keys to me

I love each freckle on your face, oh

I've never been so wrapped up, honey

Probably a song was written about and in the early days of their romance and the long hair freckles [x] thing definitely fits 2008 Joe.

If This Was a Movie

Baby, what about the ending?

Oh, I thought you'd be here by now

Thought you'd be here by now

According to some this song is a sister song to "Last Kiss" in the same album and that is confirmed to be about Joe.

Haunted

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this

I thought I had you figured out

Something's gone terribly wrong

Won't finish what you started

This song would be a sister to Forever & Always since Taylor described both to be about a relationship that was fading in the end and that she was confused as to how they got there in the first place.

"‘Haunted’ is about the moment that you realize the person you’re in love with is drifting and fading fast. And you don’t know what to do, but in that period of time, in that phase of love, where it’s fading out, time moves so slowly. Everything hinges on what that last text message said, and you’re realizing that he’s kind of falling out of love. That’s a really heartbreaking and tragic thing to go through because the whole time you’re trying to tell yourself it’s not happening. I went through this, and I ended up waking up in the middle of the night writing this song about it.” Taylor

Friendlier days are coming (2010- )

I guess time can heal a lot of wounds and Toe is seen hugging and on friendly terms at the Clive Davis party on January 31st of 2010 [x].

The world was so shocked when we realized that Joe went to see her perform in a couple of her shows in September 2011 [x] [x], and in here Holy Ground is born about her new evaluation of their former relationship rather than the bitterness of the breakup. The lyrics' secret message is “when you came to the show in SD” and the potential parallel to "Last Kiss".

Holy Ground - Taylor Swift

We blocked the noise with the sound of ‘I need you’

And for the first time I had something to lose

And I guess we fell apart in the usual way

And the story’s got dust on every page

But sometimes I wonder how you think about it now

And I see your face in every crowd…

… Tonight, I'm gonna dance

For all that we've been through

But I don't wanna dance

If I'm not dancing with you

Last Kiss - Taylor Swift

I do remember the swing of your step

The life of the party, you’re showing off again

And I roll my eyes and then

You pull me in

I’m not much for dancing

But for you I did

They're seen talking in the MTV's EMA's 2012 [x].

From here they seem to be friendly and in May of 2015 after the Billboards. They even go on a double date later that year with Gigi Hadid, Calvin Harris, and Karlie Kloss (this picture feels so cursed). Nick and Joe get invited to Taylor’s 4th of July party and they seem somewhat distant after his split from Gigi.

Present (2020- )

In 2020, we got the amazing surprise of folklore with the song ‘Invisible String’ that makes a reference to Taylor’s past songs about exes being harsh and how she sent Joe and his wife Sophie Turner a present for their baby girl’s birth. In 2021, she has now released the re-recordings of Fearless and we are all reliving the drama and enjoying the chaos of Taylor’s and Sophie’s friendship not letting Joe know peace for those 27 seconds over a decade ago.

Invisible String

Cold was the steel of my axe to grind

For the boys who broke my heart

Now I send their babies presents