#i'm crying just when i first read that chapter

[mayrose713]

Beautifully Cruel World-Chapter 10

Series Masterlist | Previous | Next

ABO Non-Idol Stray Kids Universe Poly OT8 x Reader 18+ MDNI

Warnings in the Series Masterlist as well as any other information needed

Warning: Smut First time I've ever written smut, so I'm sorry if it sucks (I'm updating the warnings in the series masterlist so this is the only other warning for smut from here on out)

Also want to let everyone know that with holiday seasons coming up, work is getting busier and I'm gonna be working more days than my normal here soon so it's gonna be a bit harder to write. I promise to update as often as possible and I'm gonna start adding dates next to the upcoming chapters in the masterlist on when they should be posted so refer to that.

thank you everyone for reading, now enjoy

Chapter 10

“How was it?” Jisung asks after Y/n walks out of the office he was waiting for her in front of as she was talking with her therapist and psychiatrist and he can see the signs that she’s been crying which doesn’t surprise him. 

“Weird.” She sniffles, wiping her nose with a tissue. “They asked me a lot of mental health questions mostly, and they want to put me on anti anxiety meds for sure and maybe antidepressants.”

“It’s not too bad.” He takes her hand to lead her back to the lobby where Chan is waiting for them. “I was put on the same when I first started coming here. Still take the anxiety ones actually.”

“Really?” She looks at him surprised. 

“Yeah.” He nods his head. “I was homeschooled as a kid so I didn’t socialize as much as I should have and it caused a lot of anxiety because of it. The only reason I know Chan and Changbin is because my dad worked for their dads originally. Really they were my only friends back then.”

“Good to know.” She nods, frowning. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I just realized I don’t actually know a lot about all of you guys, or how you all came to be.” She whispers, looking at the floor. 

“Well feel free to ask questions whenever, we‘ll be happy to answer.” He squeezes her hand as they walk out into the lobby and Chan looks up at them.

“You okay?” Chan stands as the two walk up to him and he pulls her into his side. 

“Yeah, it was just a lot.” She hands him the paper for her anti-anxiety prescription. 

The alpha looks over it and sighs but understands and reads the note about possible antidepressants but they want to have more sessions with her to determine that. 

“I’m gonna ask you like I had asked Ji when they wanted to prescribe him this too.” He moves her to look at him. “Do you want to be put on medication? Do you think it will actually help you?”

“I-I don’t know. I’ve never taken stuff like this before.” She stutters. “But I’m wary because of the injections.” She then looks over at Jisung. “Does it help you?”

“Yeah, I think so.” He smiles at her. “I feel like I’m able to get through the day easier with it. And don’t worry, it’s nothing like how the injection was.”

Y/n nods her head still thinking about it and Chan tilts her head to look up at him. “Hey, you can try them out for a bit and if you don’t like how they make you feel or don’t think they’re helping then we can slowly get you off of it.” He reassures her. “We did that with Jisung for his antidepressants.” 

“Okay.” She whispers. “I’ll try it.” 

Chan goes and gets the prescription sent in to be picked up at the pharmacy in Stayville and picks it up on their way home. 

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆

“Baby girl.” Chan stops the omega as she walks past his room and motions for her to come in. “I’ve noticed you’ve been in your head since we got home, talk to me.” He shuts the door after she walks in.

She sighs as he leads her to sit on his bed. “I just realized today that I don’t actually know a lot about all of you.” 

“That’s all?” He watches her closely as she nods her head. “Baby, all you have to do is ask us questions and we’ll tell you anything you want to know.” 

“Can you tell me about your family and where you came from?” She asks shyly. “I remember Minho telling me that Hannah visits from Australia a lot. And Dr. Hajoon was calling you Chris.” 

“Yeah.” He smiles and laughs a little as he sits next to her. “My English name is Christopher. I was born here but was mostly raised in Australia. My dad went back and forth from there and here to help Changbin’s dad run the company. His dad retired so he and I handle the Korean office while my dad still runs the one there.”

The omega nods as she listens. “Your brother is an omega. What about Hannah? And your parents?”

“Lucas is our only omega in my family pack too.” He smiled at her. “My dad is an alpha and so is Hannah. My mom is a beta.”

“Would we ever be able to go visit Australia?” She whispers.

“Of course.” He lifts her head to look at him. “As a pack we own a vacation house there so that Felix and I are able to visit our families often.”

Y/n’s jaw dropped. “How did I not realize that Felix is also Australian?”

“I don’t know, baby.” He laughs a bit. “Felix and I have known each other since we were kids. I taught him Korean and after I had moved and gotten settled here with Changbin, Jisung and Seungmin we moved him here.” 

“Ji said you guys were the only friends he had since his dad worked for yours.” She looks over his facial features. “How did everyone else come into the pack?”

“Well, Seungmin and I went to high school together here. I was his senior.” He smiles as she listens closely. “He was a bit unsure of himself when he realized we were fated. I had to go up to him first and tell him about Changbin and Jisung, who I was living with and tell him about Felix back home.”

“Minho had run into Jisung at a caffe not far from the office. At the time Minho was a backup dancer for BTS but after meeting Ji and wanting to court him since he was his fated mate, he decided to stay in Seoul and started teaching dance. And Ji convinced him to meet the other four of us as he knew we were his fated mates too.”

“Min was a backup dancer for BTS?” Y/n gawks. “I don’t believe it.”

“Look up some of their live performances, you’ll see.” And she makes a mental note to do so later. “Hyunjin and Jeongin met each other in school and knew they were each other's fated mates. Hyunjin had started taking classes from Min and even though they both realized they were fated mates, Jinnie was too scared of Minho to talk to him about it and Min wasn’t about courting his student.”

Y/n couldn’t help but laugh at how cute the whole situation is. “So how did it finally happen?”

“Felix.” Chan smirks. “Changbin had dropped him off at the studio one day to bring Minho lunch and Hyunjin fell in love at first sight. After that Lix made Jinnie and Min talk and Hyunjin told them about Jeongin and they told him about the rest of us.”

“That’s all really cute.” The omega gushes. “Best story ever.”

“I don’t know.” He grins at her mischievously. “I think my favorite story is the one about how we met our omega.” He grabs her pulling her onto his lap so she’s straddling him causing her to blush.

“Channie.” She pouts as he holds her hips and Y/n can’t help but to glance down at his lips, thinking about what it would be like to kiss him.

Y/n starts to wonder if they’re gonna claim her soon or not, thinking back to what her brother had told her, about them possibly just using her.

“You’re thinking too much, baby girl.” The alpha grips her hips a bit tighter causing her to whine a little. “Just say it.”

“Please.” She looks back and forth from his eyes to his lips.

“You’ve gotta say it.” She continues to pout though and he lightly spanks her ass. “Come on baby, I don’t know what you’re wanting if you don’t speak up.”

“Please claim me, alpha.” She sounds disparate.

“Fuck.” He growls, pulling her down to kiss her lips. “Wasn’t expecting that.”

The kiss is heated and passionate, he smirks at the small wines she’s making. He spanks her again causing her to gasp and the alpha takes the opportunity to slide his tongue past her lips. She doesn’t try to fight back with her tongue, already submitting to him.

He pulls away from the kiss and starts trailing kisses down her jaw to her neck, relishing in the little sounds she makes. He groans into her neck when she bucks her hips against him, her nails digging into his shoulders. 

Chan buries his nose into her scent gland before switching their positions so she’s on the bed and he’s hovering above. One arm next to her head to keep himself up and the other lightly trailing up her bare thigh to the bottom of her skirt. 

“Are you sure about this, baby girl? Because once we start, I’m not stopping.” He looks into Y/n’s eyes, seeing how desperate and needy she already is as she nods her head. “Words baby, I need you to use your words.”

“Yes alpha, I’m sure.”

“Good girl.” He growls as he pushes her skirt up and cups her sex, feeling how damp her underwear is. “Fuck, my little omega, you’re already so wet.” 

Y/n covers her face with her hands in embarrassment as he continues to rub her through her panties letting out little whines and moans. 

“Don’t hide from me.” Chan grabs both of her wrists with one hand and moves them from her face and pins them above her head. “There she is, my beautiful girl.”

“Channie.” Y/n bucks her hips against his hand. “You’re teasing.”

“Am I?” He fake pouts at her before taking his hand away from her and she whines and squirms as he still holds her in place. “What’s wrong? I thought you didn’t want me to tease you? So I stopped.” 

“Chan, please.” And with a smirk at her begging he lets go of her wrists, moving his hands to her blouse and takes it off and raises a brow at her bare chest. “No bra? Tsk, naughty girl.”

“Took it off when we got home.” Y/n pants. “It was uncomfortable.” 

“Of course it was.” He coos, kissing her lips again and cups her boob, squeezing it a little before playing with her nipple. 

She arches her back, moaning into his mouth as she starts pulling at his shirt trying to get it off. Chan sits back pulling the shirt over his head and she ogles him, eyes roaming over every muscle of his torso. She then notices the bulge in his jeans, sitting up she unbuttons them as he smiles while watching her, helping take his pants off leaving him in his boxers. 

Chan grabs the waistband of her skirt, pulling it down along with her panties before pushing her to lay back down as he looks over her.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispers, moving his fingers to play with her slit before pushing a finger in causing her to bite her lip. “You’re so tight, baby. If you can’t take my finger, how are you gonna take my cock?”

“I can take it.” The omega moans as he starts to finger her. “Please alpha, I can, I promise.”

“Let me prep you first.”

He pushes a second finger in and makes a come hither motion and she arches her back once again grabbing onto his arm as he speeds up his fingers. 

“Channie, please.” Y/n whimpers as he pulls his fingers out of her pussy, bringing his fingers to his mouth to taste her slick.

“Mmm, you tastes so good. Gonna have to eat you out sometime.” He wastes no time sliding his boxers off before leaning over her, lining up with her. “This might hurt a little, but I promise it will get better, just let me know if it gets to be too much.”

“Okay.” Y/m whispers and gasps when he starts to push in. 

When Chan feels some resistance he gives a hard thrust, completely bottoming out inside her causing her to moan a little in pain and pleasure. He stays still, looking at her face to check she’s okay and wipes away a tear from her eye.

“Does it hurt?”

“A little.” The omega whimpers before grinding against him. “Please move.”

Chan pulls out a bit before thrusting back in causing her to gasp again as he moves. Her expression soon changed from that of a bit of pain into pleasure.

“You’re so tight, baby girl.” He grunts as her hands go to his shoulders, claws coming out and start digging into his skins as she becomes a moaning mess under him.

“Please alpha, more.” And he speeds up his rhythm, rutting into her as he looks down to where they are connected seeing just how well she’s taking him. 

When he sees some blood, which shockingly didn’t make her feel bad for hurting her but turned him on more knowing he’s taken her innocence and now belongs to the pack, to him. The sight of it causes him to harden his thrust and he grabs her hands from his shoulders placing them next to her head and holds them.

“Channie… ah.” Y/n squeezes his hands, head turning to the side as her eyes close, her walls clamping around him.

“Fuck.” He growls, loving the sound her slick makes around his cock. “You close baby?”

She nods in desperation and the knot at the base of his cock starts to swell. “Please, Chan, so close. Want your knot, please. Please claim me.”

Chan nuzzles into her neck for a moment smelling at her scent gland before biting down hard, teeth breaking the skin as he tastes her blood. She screams and cums around him, shaking in pleasure, her juices squirting everywhere making a mess of both of them and the bed. She thought the bite would hurt but instead she just feels a flood of his love and emotions for her.

He stays latched onto her neck riding out her pleasure before his knot inflates all the way and he releases his load into her. His knot keeps him locked in as his cum fills her up, some spilling out around his cock. It isn’t until she’s milked him dry that he lets go of her neck, licking his lips of her blood.

Y/n gazes up at him looking fucked out as he lets go of one of her hands to push some of her hair out of her face. “You did so good, baby girl.”

“Wanna bite you too.” The omega whimpers as she tries to move but his knot still hasn’t softened, keeping him in place.

Chan leans down, giving her access to his neck, the side with only three mate marks and she bites down just under the bottom one. He groans in pleasure and lets her stay there as long as she wants. 

Once she lets go she looks up at him, eyes full of love. “My alpha.”

“That’s right baby.” He coos and kisses her lips. “I love you so much.”

“Love you too.”

______________________________________________________________

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[syndrossi]

resonant ch31 dvd commentary

This one was a doozy, as everyone on Tumblr had a front row view of. I wasn't thrilled with the draft on Thursday, but after some additional eyes and another comprehensive round of edits, I'm happy with how it turned out.

You can really see my struggles with it in the words cut, which were a minimum of 1500 (those are the ones where I extracted more than one paragraph into my scraps doc).

Favorite line(s):

The walk back to the holdfast was like a slow wakening from a dream, and yet Daemon felt desperately tired, his body aching with a fatigue so deep it seemed to scrape the very marrow of his bones.

I was quite proud of the visceral feel of this one.

Jon stood without meaning to, Jon Redfort’s hurt mingling with the rage that surged within his chest. “She hated him. She hated every reminder of him. They dyed Rhaegar’s hair until they couldn’t, and even before that, she could barely look at him. She loved me,” he said, the words choking him, the truth of it almost unbearable, Lady Stark’s love through a distorted mirror, only this time, he was Robb. “And Raymar would cry himself to sleep, convinced it was his own failing.”

The theme of Jon's role being flipped so that he is now in Robb's shoes is one we've been exploring since chapter one, where he notices the way Raymar is treated vs him. It's such a painful thing to deal with, because it both stirs memories of his own treatment by Lady Stark, and the guilt that Jon Redfort has always felt about it. Even though it's not directed at him, the secondhand experience through Raymar reopens those wounds.

Jon dealing with the part of him that is Jon Redfort is another theme we'll explore later on, particularly during the Runestone arc, but we're seeding some of his struggles now.

(Jon continually urging Rhaegar not to mourn Rhea is partly born of this, too. On some level, he believes she does not deserve his grief. And it's easier for him to ignore his own grief that way, or avoid dealing with the guilt-tangled love her feels for her.)

Favorite Details

Marriage hunt

Since the harvest ball is approaching and pretty much all of the marriage-minded misses of the court have been carrying out their pursuits offscreen/in non-canon missing scenes, it felt appropriate to sprinkle in a few hints of what's going on in the background as Daemon and the twins deal with more pressing matters.

Daemon's chair

It's hard to explain in narrative format where Jon was sitting/where Daemon always sits, but it's basically at the end/"head" of the table, while Viserys usually sits at the end of the side facing the window. It killed me a little when I realized that's where I've always written Daemon sitting in his scenes there with Viserys, and it's so obvious why: it's the closest Daemon can get to feeling like his brother's Hand. Similarly, Viserys seats him in an inverted version of that during their supper the first night in King's Landing, with Viserys at the head and Daemon to his side.

Dynamics

Jon & Viserys

This was a fun one to finally write, since we've only had brief interactions between them, from other POVs (Daemon, Otto, Rhaenys). Viserys sees Jon as a mixture of Daemon and Baelon throughout this scene, with Baelon coming out more toward the end. And we can see Viserys respond to Daemon-y Jon in a similar way that he might to Daemon, by getting defensive/frustrated.

Viserys is in a weird place with the candle business where he accepts, generally, that magic is a thing. The boys are fireproof, there is a prophecy that he thinks they will fulfill, he's read about the distant communication made possible by the dragonglass candles of Valyria, and he's seen the red candle spark to life, just as the black ones did once or twice when he was a boy.

But Jon is a child, and unlike Daemon, Viserys has a fairly good understanding of what an eight-year-old is generally like, so he approaches wild claims of high magic with a fair bit of skepticism. Over time, I expect this will change.

I enjoyed weaving in both Baelon and Daemon through the conversation, and the past bond Viserys had with his brother. Viserys absolutely cut little!Daemon's apples for him when he was old enough to carry his own knife. (As did Baelon.) And even throwing in some of Jon's impressions of Viserys and Daemon are alike and not.

And even a few small parallels between Viserys and Jon that I doubt many people will draw: an unwillingness to give up control (Jon not wanting to tell Daemon about the drag marks in the secret passage) and not trusting their brother (Jon, at the end, deciding to "protect" Rhaegar by not letting him in on his plan to go after the candle). They both are convinced of their own mandate to solve problems (the prophecy for Viserys, the candle for Jon).

Daemon & Rhaegar

Rhaegar was in a special hell with Daemon in the latter part of the chapter. He's operating at maximum Aerys damage-control mode there, reading Daemon at speeds enviable by modern CPUs so that he can figure out how to defuse the situation / "fix" him before any (unintentional) harm is done. And the parallels with Aerys's paranoia are incredibly uncomfortable, even if he understands that Daemon is suffering under an outside influence.

It's also terrifying being an eight-year-old child and being dragged along to the dragon enclosure by a father who doesn't seem to hear a word you're saying (or care, if it were Aerys), and you're pretty convinced this is some candle magic at work, but how do you stop him if he decides to take off with you on dragonback? And even if he's unwilling to force you, can you really let him go by himself, in such a vulnerable state?

Meanwhile, Rhaegar better be careful about his plan to claim that the bruise is the result of a training accident, because a blow from a wooden blade doesn't go all the way around the arm, kiddo. Imagine Daemon thinking he's trying to protect Cole after being handled roughly by him. Or just his response in general to his sons downplaying injuries that were clearly dealt by an adult.

@inkykate asked for Rhaegar's POV here for the upcoming winter promptathon, and I'm very tempted!

Quick-hitters

Lady Sera and Lady Dynessa are both from this little impromptu ficlet.

Originally, there was a plot thread where Jon and Rhaegar discussed telling Erryk and Arryk about the candle. At one point, it was in their debriefing at the start of the chapter, a request from Jon to Viserys during their breakfast scene, and even the start of a scene where they actually tell the Cargyll brothers. I cut it because there was a lot going on already and we can revisit it later.

The Rhea grief/anger outburst from Jon caught me by as much surprise as Viserys, but it was lurking beneath the surface. And I cry at a dime, so you can bet I was a mess writing it.

Can we appreciate for a moment the breathtaking gall of Viserys telling Jon he should be grateful for him repeatedly banishing Daemon because it resulted in his birth? Imagine him saying as much to Daemon himself!

The candle is candling hard.

I didn't go into the dragon dynamics with Daemon because this is already quite long, but there was some interesting stuff there for those with a keen eye, including hints at how some of the candle's (sorcerer's?) magic works.

Daemon actually did something so unthinkable (hurting Rhaegar) that Qelebrys hissed at her beloved not-Rhaegar. The heartbreak!

Lots of people keeping things to themselves. So far, for example, Daemon hasn't mentioned the bounty on him to anyone.

I have fun with Rhaegar's strengths vs Jon's, especially when it comes to dragons. Jon has a fairly significant leg-up with his warging experiences and his former quasi-bond with Rhaegal, but Rhaegar is basically a horse girl, except with dragons, so what he lacked for originally in experience, he's making up quickly. But I also like to throw in nods to Jon being able to pick things up that he's discovered very quickly, once shown/pointed out.

Finally, there were quite a few bits cut out of the chapter. I'll probably throw them in a separate post later, since this is pretty long!

[zeynatura]

Simon Kagomura and Tokio Kurohara's friendship Part 2

After their training and bonding session the island gets attacked, and everyone is separated.

Azuma fights Yibiko, Simon and Tokio encounter Chandra Hume and the rest are with Hiroto Mori.

Unfortunately Tokio and Simon are no match for Chandra, during their encounter Tokio feels another Choujin in the direction Azuma was training so Simon decides to let Tokio go to him.

But Tokio is like: no, you're stronger than me and i'm fast so i can evade his attacks and buy time for you and Azuma to ask for help.

The fact that Tokio is leaving his best friend's life on the hands of his new friend means so much to me, Simon not only couldn't win against his logic but also he trusted Tokio to stay alive and do his part.

Look at them being all serious, specially Tokio finally making an effort, and Simon on his way to save Azuma even tho he had an even worse impression of him because he fought him when he lost control but is willing to save him because he's Tokio's friend and also a new colleague now that they're on the train camp together, so beautiful~

Until Simon is intercepted by Noh Mask, yup the person that killed his family, that's right and the one that's leading the attack to the island.

Long story short, Tokio, Azuma and Ely get kidnapped so the teachers are like: kids stay here we'll get your friends back.

Simon is hurt both physically and emotionally yet he offers to go help the rescue team because he promised Tokio he'd save Azuma.

He's in no shape or form fit to go yet his determination to fulfil his promise to the point that he lets himself be vulnerable in front of everyone (even writing this makes me cry) ༼☯﹏☯༽

Fast forward to the rescue, it seems like Simon and Maiko were in one of the ships but not on the front lines.

Because they are there in the aftermath but don't appear during the fight scenes, so at least Simon kind of kept his word ;u;

Part 1

[oceans-beloved]

Meme dump yayyy🥳✨️

(off to make more now muhahaha >:3)

[acourtofquestions]

Rowaelin Chapter 41 Kingdom of Ash:

She'd rebuild it—what she had been.

Perhaps one last time, perhaps only for a little while, but she'd do it. If only for Terrasen.

Rowan swooped from the mast, shifting as he reached her side at the rail. He surveyed the night-black sea beyond them. "You should rest." She slid him a glance. "I'm not tired." Not a lie, not in some regards. "Want to spar?" He frowned. "Training can start tomorrow."

"Or tonight." She held his piercing stare, matched his dominance with her own.

"It can wait a few hours, Aelin."

"Every day counts." Against Erawan, even a day of training would count.

Rowan's jaw tightened. "True," he said at last. "But it can still wait. There are ... there are things we need to discuss." The silent words rose in his animal-bright eyes. About you and me.

Her mouth went dry. But Aelin nodded In silence, they strode into their spacious quarters, its only decoration the wall of windows that overlooked the churning sea behind them. A far cry from a queen's chamber, or any she might have purchased as Adarlan's assassin.

At least the bed built into the wall looked clean enough, the sheets crisp and stainless. But Aelin headed for the oak desk anchored to the floor, and leaned against it while Rowan shut the door.

In the dim lantern light, they stared at each other.

She'd endured Maeve and Cairn; she'd endured Endovier and countless other horrors and losses. She could have this conversation with him. The first step toward rebuilding herself.

Aelin knew Rowan could hear her thundering heart as the space between them went taut. She swallowed once. "Elide and Lorcan told you... told you everything that was said on that beach."

A curt nod, wariness flooding his eyes. "Everything that Maeve said." Another nod.

She braced herself. "That I'm-we're mates."

Understanding and something like relief replaced that wariness. "Yes."

"I'm your mate," she said, needing to voice it. "And you are mine."

Rowan crossed the room, but halted a few feet from the desk on which she leaned. "What of it, Aelin?" His question was low, rough.

"Don't you..." She scrubbed at her face. "You know what she did to you, to ..." She couldn't say her name. Lyria. "Because of it."

"I do know."

"And?"

"And what do you wish me to say?"

She pushed off the desk. "I wish you to tell me how you feel about it. If…"

"If what?"

"If you wish it wasn't so."

His brows narrowed. "Why would I ever wish that?"

She shook her head, unable to answer, and stared over her shoulder toward the sea.

It seemed like he would close the distance between them, but he remained where he was.

"Aelin." His voice turned hoarse. "Aelin."

She looked at him then, at the pain in his words.

"Do you know what I wish?" He exposed his palms, one tattooed, the other unmarked. "I wish that you had told me. When you realized it. I wish you had told me then."

She swallowed against the ache in her throat. "I didn't want to hurt you."

"Why would it ever hurt me to know the truth that was already in my heart? The truth I hoped for?"

"I didn't understand it. I didn't understand how it was possible. I thought maybe ... maybe you might be able to have two mates within a lifetime, but even then, I just ….." She blew out a breath. "I didn't want you to be distressed." His eyes softened. "Do I regret that Lyria was dragged into this, that the cost of Maeve's game was her life, and the life of the child we might have had? Yes. I regret that, and I wish it had never happened." He would bear the tattoo to remember it for the rest of his days. "But none of that was your fault. I will always carry some of the burden of it, always know I chose to leave her for war and glory, and that I played right into Maeve's hands."

"Maeve wanted to ensnare you to get to me, though."

"Then it is her choice, not yours."

Aelin ran a hand over the worn wood of the desk. "In those illusions she spun for me, she showed me variations on one more than all the others." The words were strained, but she forced them out. Forced herself to look at him. "She spun me one dreamscape that felt so real I could smell the wind off the Staghorns."

"What did she show you?" A breathless question.

Aelin had to swallow before she could answer. "She showed me what might have been—if there had been no Erawan, if Elena had dealt with him properly and banished him. If there had been no Lyria, none of that pain or despair you endured. She showed me Terrasen as it would have been today, with my father as king, and my childhood happy, and..." Her lips wobbled. "When I turned twenty, you came with a delegation of Fae to Terrasen, to make amends for the rift between my mother and Maeve. And you and I took one look at each other in my father's throne room, and we knew."

She didn't fight the stinging in her eyes. "I wanted to believe that was the true world. That this was the nightmare from which I'd awaken. I wanted to believe that there was a place where you and I had never known this suffering and loss, where we'd take one look at each other and know we were mates. Maeve told me she could make it so. If I gave her the keys, she'd make it all possible." She wiped at her cheek, at the tear that escaped down it. "She spun me realities where you were dead, where you'd been killed by Erawan and only in handing over the keys to her would I be able to avenge you. But those realities made me ... I stopped being useful to her when she told me you were gone. She couldn't get me to talk, to think. Yet in the ones where you and I met, where things were as they should have been ... that was when I came the closest."

His swallow was audible. "What stopped you?"

She wiped at her face again. "The male I fell in love with was you. It was you, who knew pain as I did, and who walked with me through it, back to the light. Maeve didn't understand that. That even if she could create that perfect world, it wouldn't be you with me. And I'd never trade that, trade this. Not for anything." He extended his hand. An offer and invitation.

Aelin laid hers atop his, and his callused fingers squeezed gently. "I wanted it to be you," he breathed, closing his eyes. "For months and months, even in Wendlyn, I wondered why you weren't my mate instead. It tore me up, wondering it, but I still did." He opened his eyes, and they burned like green fire. "All this time, I wanted it to be you."

She lowered her gaze, but he hooked a thumb and forefinger around her chin and lifted her face.

"I know you are tired, Fireheart. I know that the burden on your shoulders is more than anyone should endure." He took their joined hands and laid them on his heart. "But we'll face this together. Erawan, the Lock, all of it.

"We'll face it together. And when we are done, when you Settle, we will have a thousand years together. Longer."

A small sound came out of her. "Elena said the Lock requires—"

"We'll face it together," he swore again.

"And if the cost of it truly is you, then we'll pay it together. As one soul in two bodies.

Her heart strained to the point of cleaving. "Terrasen needs a king."

"I have no intention of ruling Terrasen without you. Aedion can have the job."

She scanned his face. He meant every word He brushed the hair from her face, his other hand still clasping hers to his chest, where his heart pounded a steady, unfaltering rhythm.

"Even if I had my choice of any dream-realities, any perfect illusions, I would still choose you, too."

She felt the truth of his words echo into the unbreakable thing that bound their very souls, and tilted her face up toward his. But he made no move beyond it.

She frowned. "Why aren't you kissing me?"

"I thought you might want to be asked first."

"That never stopped you before."

"This first time, I wanted to make sure you were ... ready." After Cairn and Maeve. After months of having no choices whatsoever.

She smiled despite that truth. "I'm ready to be kissed again, Prince."

He let out a dark chuckle and muttered, "Thank the gods," before he lowered his mouth to hers.

"You're my mate." Her words were a breathless rush. "And I am yours."

The world might have been burning around them for all she cared, all he cared, too.

"Together, Aelin," he promised, and she heard the rest of the words in every place their bodies joined. Together they would face this, together they would find a way.

Together we'll find a way, their mingling breaths, the crashing sea, seemed to echo.

Together.

[noxtivagus]

i screamed.

[elizabeth-mitchells]

uh oh i'm getting this feeling that tells me i might not graduate this year and as soon as that's confirmed you have no idea how much i'm going to cry <3

[mbrainspaz]

why does the 4th episode of my comic still only have one like???

The like I gave it??? ☠️ bc I got sad after 24 hours when still not a single person had liked it? It's been almost a month now.

Is it that bad???????????????

I'm honestly so baffled. Are my readers and patrons just tech illiterate or did they all not-so-secretly hate it?

[antisocial-socialbutterfly]

I came here for giggles and ALL I GOT WERE TEARS!!

I know I love reading angst but this was a callout I was not expecting. Pain pain pain pain pain and pain.

Been a while since I read some angst so this hurted A LOT (That's a compliment now)

Omw to play "long for you"

—closure.

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader

genre: angst, college au, dance major hyunjin, art major reader

word count: 4.3k

summary: sometimes, loving someone just isn't enough.

a/n: hellooo, it's finally here! for those who might casually come across this, this is part 27 of my social media au "watercolor". sorry it took me so long, i was just going through a bit of a writer's block lol. anyway, i hope you guys enjoy! and as always i would loveee to read your thoughts on this, so please let me know!!

"We've made out and gone out a couple of times but that's it".

"We don't owe anything to each other".

"We're not a couple".

"Let's stop acting like one".

Hyunjin was unable to stop going through the texts you had sent him minutes ago. He read them over and over, as if just by staring at them hard enough, wishing they said something different, they would magically change. But they didn't. Instead, his heart would only annoyingly squeeze in his chest with every read of your words. Each time hurting more than the last.

He didn't know which one of your statements hurt the most. Maybe the one where you reduced your entire relationship to just making out and going out a couple of times. Maybe the one where you said you didn't owe exclusivity to one another, or the one where you reminded him you were not a couple.

Or maybe the last one, where you put a stop to it all.

He hadn't been able to reply to that one, and therefore the conversation seemed to be over.

What was he supposed to say anyway? "Okay"? "Fine"? Hyunjin truly didn't know what to say to that — one-word answers that did not reflect his true feelings about the whole situation were all that came to mind. If anything, he was not okay with it. Things were not "okay". Everything was not "fine". His chest was hurting in a way it never had before, and he was finding it hard to breathe. So, he had said nothing. He just sat there, watching the previous 'online' status on your chat change to the time you had closed it, as he re-read the conversation over and over.

Hyunjin didn't know when it had all gone wrong. Only a few days ago you were better than ever. He recalled the last day you spent together quite perfectly. You had been texting back and forth all day, to the point he had been called out in one of his classes by his professor, as at one point he couldn't contain a giggle of his after reading your latest reply — it had been quiet, hardly ever audible, but the complete silence of the room as Mr. Kim gave his lecture, had backfired on him.

He had waited for you after your last class later that day, and you had gone for shaved ice together, like he had been craving for days now. You had even invited Felix at some point, and although Hyunjin had expected to have some alone time with you that day, it had been fun. Spending time with you was always fun.

Then while the sun went down, he had walked you to your dorm — just the two of you, as Felix had seemed to get the memo. He found it hard to keep his eyes away from you, especially when the light night breeze would hit your face and your hair would move along with it. You were quite the sight. You had always been, he was just too stubborn to let himself admire you in all your splendor before.

"I hope all the wait to get your precious shaved ice was worth it" you had laughed, turning around to look at him after you reached the entrance to your building.

He nodded, standing only a few centimeters away from you. "Would've been even more worth it if you hadn't invited Felix behind my back".

"I didn't!" you played dumb, earning a small laugh from him as he took a step towards you.

"Mhm… sure, baby" his eyes squinted accusingly, yet all you could focus on was that pet name you could still not get used to hear coming from his lips. "I'm taking your phone away next time, so I can make sure it's only the two of us".

Your eyes looked away from his, feeling your face burn as a smile curved up the corners of your mouth. "If you wanted me all to yourself so bad, you should've just said so".

"Thought it was a given," his confident words had you looking back up at him, only to be met with his intense stare as he pulled you closer by your hand. "Let's go out just the two of us next time, yeah?"

You nodded, silently, with a shy, loving smile parting your lips. You wouldn't have it any other way.

"Now give me a kiss before you go inside" he demanded, puckering his lips for you to close the space between them and yours.

You bit your bottom lip in amusement. "And why would I do that?"

"I mean, you haven't kissed me at all today and on top of that you sabotaged our alone time, so…"

"And that concerns me because…"

Hyunjin rolled his eyes, tugging at your hand to pull you closer and get what he wanted. "Come here, you tease".

The small giggle that had just escaped your mouth was muffled by his — soft, sweet lips trapping your own, sucking on them ever so gently as his hand cupped your cheek.

Had he known that was the last time he would kiss you, he would've taken his sweet time with you. He wouldn't have let go of you for a good couple of minutes, until your lips were swollen and your breathings were heavy, not caring at all about being in the middle of a public alley.

He tried to recall something, anything he could've said to make you start avoiding him and pushing him away after that day, but he could not find a single thing. You had bickered like you always did, flirted like it was oh-so-usual by now. You had kissed. You had laughed. When did it all go wrong?

The only reasonable explanation he could think of took him back to Changbin. You had been avoiding him all week, excusing yourself on the fact that you were busy, yet you had immediately jumped at the opportunity to spend some time with Bin — maybe not exactly like that, but that's how Hyunjin pictured it. Did you catch feelings for Changbin along the way? You wouldn't, right? Not now that you and him were together. You had been into him since first year, you wouldn't go to one of his best friends now that you finally got to be with him, would you?

Then again, you had been sleeping with Changbin for months now… but that didn't make your feelings for him go away before. They wouldn't go away now of all times, would they?

It just made no sense. The entire situation made no sense. He needed more than just a couple of texts telling him off for him to understand what was the reason behind it.

Reading your last conversation one last time, he felt like he would go crazy if he didn't get to the core of it. So, closing your chat for once and for all, he decided he wasn't letting you go without a proper explanation.

-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡

Going home didn't seem as appealing that day. In fact, going home hadn't been appealing at all those last few days. Even though you had Cherry as your roommate and she did a great job at keeping you company, she could not be with you at all times, and it was those alone, silent moments, the ones you dreaded the most, for those were the moments your thoughts took over and your heart hurt the most.

You had felt numb ever since your last conversation with Hyunjin that evening, but you knew the moment you were left alone, you would break down.

Changbin had been right next to you as you and Hyunjin texted back and forth, and although he didn't know what was being said, you could tell he was worried over your lack of reaction after you shoved your phone back in your pocket. It was as if all emotion had been snatched away from you. Your face remained serious, detached, and the usual light in your eyes had been put out.

"You okay?" he had wondered, oblivious as to what had just happened between you and his friend.

You shrugged, not meeting his eyes as you leaned back on the bench you had been sitting on and stared into one of the many trees the park was surrounded with.

You said nothing. You felt nothing. Or maybe you felt so fucking much, so many feelings, so much hurt, that your mind was protecting you by shutting its every emotion down altogether.

It helped that Binnie was with you, he was good at keeping you distracted and at cheering you up. But he had a life of his own and things to get done with, and you could not avoid going home forever. You could not wander around campus on your own all night long, after all. Saying goodbye and going your different ways at the end of the day was only inevitable — as inevitable as the dreaded silence that awaited you back in your bedroom.

The only thing that seemed avoidable so far was talking to Hyunjin any further. You hadn't checked your phone ever since you had last hit 'send' on that text that ended it all. You didn't know if he had said anything else after that, but you did know that you were not reading what he had to say — if he had something to say at all. At least not that night.

Just for tonight, you wanted to forget about Hwang Hyunjin altogether. You wanted to forget about how head over heels you were for him. How hard your heart would beat against your chest whenever you even simply thought of him. How much you loved his eyes and the small freckle underneath one of them. How much you loved his lips and the way they would feel against yours, knowing just how to make you weak to your knees. How much you loved his laugh, from the sound of it to the way his entire body would move whenever he did.

Most importantly, you wanted to forget about everything that had happened between the two of you the last few weeks. You wanted to forget how goddamn happy you were, thinking he was starting to feel something for you and to take you seriously as a possible future partner, all while he was feeling trapped in a relationship he had never asked for.

You wanted to forget about his conversation with Felix more than anything.

You just wanted to forget.

Which is why you were not happy to see Hyunjin waiting outside your building.

You had caught a glimpse of his figure from afar as soon as you turned to your dorm's alley. It was dark, a dim light coming from the entrance being all you could use to see him, but you could always recognise him from miles away.

His grey t-shirt seemed to be doing little to nothing for him when it came to protecting him from the rather cold wind of the night, but he didn't seem to care. Still, he looked preoccupied, far gone in his own thoughts as he remained sat down on the ground — back pressed against your building while you supposed he waited for you to either arrive or come out of it. He didn't know if you had already made it back home from your little hang out with Changbin, after all.

A part of you wanted to turn around and go crash at Jeongin's — maybe even at Han's, if Minho was okay with you staying regardless of the current state of your friendship. However, another part of you, the one that was still incredulous over everything that happened, the one that was numb over it all, could not care less about having to face him.

So, you kept on walking, ignoring his presence as you walked past him and made your way to the front door.

Of course, you would not get away with it that easily. One look at you as you walked by was all it took for him to be up to his feet and stop you from opening the door.

"We need to talk, don't you think?"

You said nothing, staring deeply into the doorknob he had kept you from turning.

"Y/N..." he pushed. "Will you look at me?"

Biting down on your lip as you exhaled heavily, you looked up to him. One look into his worried chocolate eyes was all it took for the numbness to go away. All it took for you to realise you were not strong enough to face him right then.

"Can we talk?"

You looked away. "I said everything I had to over texts".

"That's not enough. If you're shutting me out the least I deserve is an explanation" he stated, managing to get your eyes to focus on his. "I don't get it, I—we were doing so well up until the other day…"

"I didn't know you felt stuck with me up until a few days ago".

That sentence alone had gotten his entire body to tense up. "What?"

"Don't make me repeat it..."

"Baby, I d—"

"Don't," you warned him. "There's no need for you to keep acting like some kind of… unofficial boyfriend anymore just because you pity me".

"Pity you?" he asked, disbelief all over his face. "When have I ever pitied you…"

"So what would you call being with me and keeping yourself from sleeping around just because you don't want to hurt my feelings?"

His face fell, and that's when it hit him — why you had started acting this way towards him so out of the blue, why you no longer wanted to be with him. Felix. The conversation they had that other night.

The one where he said he wished you didn't have feelings for him because that way he would be able to still sleep around.

The one where he said he had gotten stuck in a relationship he never wanted.

The conversation that was just him trying to put into words the mess that was going on in his head over everything he was feeling for you, and how it was affecting his mindset when it came to commitment — everything he had never felt before you came in the picture.

He hadn't found a reason for you to start acting this way because he had been looking in the wrong place. It wasn't what he had done the last day you had spent together, but what he had told his best friend afterwards.

To say Hyunjin was speechless would be a understatement. That conversation was never supposed to leave that chat, Felix was never supposed to tell you about it. He wanted to scream at him, ask him why the hell he had done it and ruined what the two of you had just like that, but that could wait. Right now, you were in front of him, about to walk away for good. Felix and his anger towards him could wait.

"Y/N... what I said, I was—I am confused..." he sighed. "Everything happened so fast, I don't know what I'm feeling or what I want... but I knew what you wanted and I... I'm sorry..."

There it was again, that sharp pain in your chest that you were so used to by now. "I never meant for my feelings to be such a burden to you".

"That's not w—"

"You don't owe me anything just because I caught feelings for you, Hyunjin. Especially now that I called things off. You're free, you can stop pretending now".

"Pretending?" Hyunjin blurted out. "I was never pretending at all".

You let out a heavy sigh, trying to walk past him. "Just go, Hyunjin. I'm done here".

He grabbed your wrist. "Why can't you just talk to me?!"

"Because!" you turned around, eyes already welling up with tears you refused to let fall down. "I'm embarrassed. I feel stupid, I feel delusional, I…" your breathing became heavier. "I feel like I'll break down any time now in front of you and I'm embarrassed enough as it is".

His eyes softened, and his hand loosened its hold on you. "Baby…"

"Stop it with that. I'm not your baby" you pulled your hand away from him. "What's the point if you don't want to be in a relationship with me to begin with".

"Why does it have to be so complicated?" he wondered. "Why do we have to put a label on it, why can't we just be together as it is".

"Because I'm not ready to see you with someone else. I won't ever be as long as I feel something for you".

"I haven't been with anyone else since we first kissed" he sounded desperate for you to believe him. "I promise you I haven't".

You shrugged, a weak smile curving up your lips. "Just because you don't want to hurt me, not because you feel like being with me only".

He stayed silent, and you could only feel your heart squeeze inside your chest over the silent confirmation.

"I meant it when I said I never meant for my feelings to be such a burden to you, Hyunjin. I thought you were with me because you wanted to, not because you found yourself living up to my expectations. I don't want you to be with me because you feel like you have to, like I'll die if you leave me".

"Your feelings are not a burden, Y/N…"

"Sure feels like it".

"They're not".

"Why are you with me then?"

Another pause on his end. "Huh?"

"Why are you with me?" you repeated. "If it's not because you don't want to break my heart, then why?"

"I like you" he said in a heartbeat, truthfully. "You know how much I like you".

"And what makes it any different from all the other girls you like?"

"You… you're... I mean—I don't," he stumbled upon his own words as he desperately tried to come up with them, getting a sad smile from you. "It's not that simple..."

"You can't even find a reason," you mumbled. "And it's okay, I'm not gonna force you to love me back".

Love.

Love.

Hyunjin found himself looking up at you at the sound of that — heart just having skipped a beat, and a spark he could not control in his eyes.

"Love you back?" he whispered.

You smiled weakly, only then realising what you had just said. It was no news that you loved him. Fuck, you had been in love with him since the first moment you saw him. You had just never said it out loud. Not to him, at least.

This was definitely not how you would've liked to tell him. Not when you were trying to end things with him. But maybe it was for the best — maybe this way you would be able to get your closure and move on.

"I'm in love with you, Hyunjin" you said, like it was the easiest, most obvious thing in the world. "Thought you knew it very well by now? I haven't been very subtle about it".

"I didn't…" he blinked.

To like him? That he knew. Have feelings for him? Of course. But love was a whole other thing. Love was a big word. It was a very deep feeling. And he was just now realising just how serious you were about him — just how much had been at stake for you all along.

"Well then, now you know" you let out a shaky breath, feeling ever so little under his stunned stare. "I've been in love with you for over a year now".

"You have?" his voice came out soft as ever, almost scared to ask.

"Mhm…" you nodded. "Ever since the first time Mrs. Moon brought you as the model for our drawing session. It's been a good while since I've been pining after you… and honestly, by this point…" a heavy sigh escaped your lips, being followed by a small shrug as you looked away from his eyes. "I'm just… tired".

His heart sunk. "What do you mean you're tired?"

"I'm tired of waiting around, of chasing after you…" your eyes met his saddened ones once more. "I mean, now that I know how you truly feel about a possible relationship with me, I think I'm done chasing after you".

"Y/N—"

"No, please" you cut him off. "Let me talk. I know this might be tiresome, and I wasn't gonna say anything, but now I just... need to let it all out so I can get my closure".

Hyunjin leaned sightly back, that simple world feeling like a bucket of ice cold water being thrown right over his head.

"Closure?"

You nodded, not being able to look him in the eye. "I knew you didn't want a relationship, I mean, you told me so yourself even before anything happened between us, but I..." you took a deep breath, needing to compose yourself. "After you kissed me at the art studio, and then when you started inviting me over to your place and whatnot, and treating me in what I thought was a special way... I let myself be delusional and believe you had changed your mind, and that you were acting that way because you wanted to be with me".

"I do want to be with you" he reassured.

"Not in the same way I want to be with you. Not in the way I need you to" you denied. "We're on two complete opposite sides when it comes to love, Jinnie. I'm not afraid of it, nor am I scared to show my feelings. I have so much love to give, as cheesy as it sounds, and I want… I deserve someone who will love me back just as much, and won't be afraid to show it" the softness of your voice didn't stop the hurt — hearing he was not what you needed hurt like hell. "And you need someone who is into the whole no strings attached thing just like you are. We're just not compatible, I guess. As much as it hurts me and I wished we were".

"Why can't we just find a common ground?" Hyunjin insisted. "I'm just… so confused right now, Y/N. If you just gave me time to figure it out…"

"You've had lots of time to figure it out, though. Nothing's changed so far when it comes to you not wanting a relationship" you pointed out. "Seriously, Hyunjin, do you ever see yourself in a serious, formal relationship with me? Do you see me as your girlfriend at one point?"

"I just need time..." he whispered.

"You're not answering my question" you couldn't hide your disappointment by now.

"Y/N... please..."

"I understand that you need time to figure it out, but I can't just wait around for you to do it anymore. I mean, what if we keep acting like a couple and then after a while you realise that it's really, truly not what you want?" your point had him lowering his head. As much as he didn't like it, he knew you were right. "I can't risk getting my heart broken like that".

He bit his bottom lip, gently reaching for your hand before his eyes fixed on yours. "I don't wanna lose you".

"But you don't want to be in an exclusive relationship with me either…"

His eyes abandoned yours, focusing on his feet instead. That was all the confirmation you needed.

"You can't have everything, Hyunjin" you let him know, slipping your hand away from his. "You say you want to be with me, but you also want to be with other people. I'm just making it easier for you by taking a step to the side, you don't have to choose anymore".

"Shouldn't it be my decision?" his eyebrows knitted together. "Shouldn't I say whether I want to stay with you or not?"

"Not when my heart is the one at stake".

"So this is it?" he asked. "You're just giving up on us?"

"Was there ever an 'us'?"

Hyunjin bit his tongue, not having an answer to that, yet wishing he did.

It was funny, in the worst way — how all this time he had been so reluctant to admit you were together to the world, yet now that you were the one to make it seem like you were not, uneasiness was fast to rush through his body.

"So where does that leave us," his question came out more bitterly than he had intended. "We stop talking and seeing each other just like that?"

You shook your head no. "We're in the same friend group now, it'd be like going back to the way we were before this whole thing happened. Minus me looking for excuses to talk to you and see you pretty much every day" a breathy laugh escaped your lips, one that wasn't enough to light up the mood. "Gonna be a hard habit to break, but…"

"I don't want that" he confessed.

"Why?" you tilted your head. "You're free to go to whoever you want now".

He shook his head, taking a step back. "You're being unfair".

"All I'm saying is you won't have to keep yourself from fooling around with other girls anymore".

"So you're telling me you won't be hurt anymore if I started sleeping around again?"

"For a while, yes" you admitted. "I do have feelings for you after all, and, unlike you, I can't just suck it up".

He was unable to say anything else, looking almost ashamed as he was reminded of his own words — the very ones he had confided in to Yongbok a few days ago.

You were finally able to reach for the doorknob without having him stop you, twisting it without a second thought and holding the door open while he remained speechless.

"But don't worry about it, it'll only hurt for a while. I'm getting rid of them" you looked at him one last time, regretting it the second your eyes locked with those dark brown of his you loved so much. "I have to get ready for tomorrow's class now, so... I'll see you around".

With that, you walked into the building, leaving him to deal with the lump in his throat and the aching pressure in his chest he didn't know he would feel.

tag list: @blaaiissee @hyuneytoast @staysuki @tardiscompanion @princehyun-jin @hyuka-luvbot @halesandy @nattisbored @qnjayn @hibuki-chan @purenjuniverse @seungly @suhnnyskiess @midsoulz @yellowroseskolchek @esme-ordaz @perriwiinkle @firnze @soobin-chois @readingfanfic-ly @multifandomizer @elviransworld @valewoos @ktttwwn @hazzaloveschopsuey @hannahdinse8 @youngestdelacour @zoe8stay @leechanniee @phenomenalgirl9 @aeminju @threevracha @kai-maree @laryisthinking @wolfietara @iam2out @kingggjaay @cosmic-railwayxo @straykidsficsrecsbaby @marsophilia @choibeomgogi @ddaengpotate @oceanyocean @rinsdesires @jhslmhbtsskz @lixlovesworld @keenlampponyclam @yerimselgi @rubberduckieyourtheone @littlestarhyun

[blu-s0da]

i love what my writing does to people

[recallthename]

it's thinking about dalinar from stormlight and spike from buffy hours

[syndrossi]

Dont talk to me I'm trying to process the latest chapter it was a lot😭😭 everyone made me wanna cry. Jon so fiercely trying to protect his father (and brother), jon confronting the king, the rhea feels!! Him wanting to hate her but feeling guilty a part of him loves her and that redfort jon relished in her love bc he was so deprived of affection!! 😭😭😭 the cat and Robb parallels! Ghost feels!! The baelon and aemon shadow/ghosts were SO present this chapter. How jon is soooo much like daemon even in his internal thoughts 😭😭😭 jon noticing the similarities between viserys and daemon and how viserys probably took care of daemon when they were younger and they probably got it from THEIR dad! Uwah gonna cry. And then you've got daemon seeing rhaegar die in aemon's place and that mixing in with his canon death broooooo that's a lot. Daemon scaring and hurting rhaegar 😭😭😭😭 dude ik he's thinking about aerys rn😭😭😭😭😭 and poor caraxes something is messing with their rider and interfering with their bond but he cannot do anything about ittttt😭😭😭

There was so much cute moments at the start of the chap with jon and rhaegar playing detectives and debriefing and then rhaegar excitedly sharing his dragon discoveries with their dad and their dad reading to them in HV (and then translating after for jon cute) ik he was relishing being able to have a story time with his kids🥺🥺🥺

Anyways this chapter made me feel a lot. This is all so very convoluted I hope it makes sense rnwjsjw I just love it sm

This chapter sure was A Lot™️, wasn't it? I made sure to throw in the sweet moments at the start to offset (enhance?) some of those punches later.

The Rhea feels honestly caught me by surprise when I was writing the Jon+Viserys scene. They sort of just--bubbled up to the surface. Jon's been trying to suppress Jon Redfort's emotions/memories for a while now, and it's hard when so many frightening/painful/awful things have happened to both of them. And Jon is particularly attuned to a child being treated differently/poorly by a mother figure, except he's on the other end of it this time, so there's that added complexity of seeing himself in Raymar, both the loved and the unloved, that he has to deal with.

(Also my heart was breaking in two for little Raymar, who wanted so desperately to love and be loved by Rhea in return. It's not that she didn't, it's that it was much more difficult for her, and when you're a twin, that inequality is so incredibly obvious. It hurts and they had no Ned to give them at least one source of parental affection.)

And then the rest of the breakfast scene...I think Viserys kept going back and forth between seeing Baelon and Daemon in Jon, though more of Baelon in the end, with Jon laying it out so adamantly what his duty as a brother was. And of course we got the inevitable Viserys-Daemon friction in those moments when Jon most reminded him of Daemon. It's a shame that Jon's tough love isn't really what Viserys needs to mend things with Daemon, because the problem isn't that Viserys doesn't love Daemon (though him not protecting his own brother, especially where Otto's insinuations are concerned, is certainly a flaw), it's that he's shit at expressing it and reluctant to trust Daemon enough to explain things.

(It's hard to explain in narrative format where Jon was sitting/where Daemon always sits, but it's basically at the end/"head" of the table, while Viserys usually sits at the end of the side facing the window. And that detail killed me a little when I realized it, because that's where I've always written Daemon sitting in his scenes there with Viserys, and it's so obvious why. Viserys seats him in an inverted version of that during their supper the first night in King's Landing, with Viserys at the head and Daemon to his side. It's the closest Daemon can get to being his brother's Hand.)

...I'm realizing as I'm writing this that I should probably be throwing this in the DVD commentary, but oh well, I can copy-pasta it there later.

I've been calling the Daemon-trance scene a low-grade horror scene for Rhaegar, because imagine that from his POV, especially given his history with Aerys. He's operating at maximum Aerys-mode for a while, reading Daemon at speeds enviable by modern CPUs so that he can figure out how to defuse the situation / "fix" him before any (unintentional) harm is done. And the parallels with Aerys's paranoia is incredibly uncomfortable, even if he understands that Daemon is suffering under an outside influence.

Meanwhile, Caraxes is all: GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF HIM, wishing he could pick Daemon up and cuddle him until the sorcerer scent is completely gone. (He's had to deal with his own version of that before, of having his bond with Daemon tampered with, and it's even more upsetting from the other side!)

And you made perfect sense! There was just so much to process.

[its-me-hyunjin]

NO ONE TALK TO ME, CHAPTER 15 OF SLWY IS FINALLY HERE

star lost with you | hyunjin au | part 15

pairing: idol! hyunjin x artist! reader

synopsis: working in a quaint little art store, you’ve had the honor of meeting all kinds of people, but you’ve never met somebody like him.

there were many reasons hyunjin returned to his hometown; a getaway from the ephemeral and fast-paced life of the city, so he could fall in love with life again. he thought he was prepared for everything, to study art in the way that he’s always wanted to, but what he didn’t anticipate was meeting you. hwang hyunjin realises that sometimes, the best things in life happen unplanned.

genre:friends to lovers, so much angst, smut, fluff, set in the idolverse, mutual pining, unrequited love, forbidden romance, slowburn (!!!) soulmate au (kind of), star-crossed lovers

warnings:cursing, mature content, fancy drinking, mutual pining, sexual tension, so much angst, kissing, making out, dirty talk, fingering, grinding, dry humping, dom!hyunjin, jealousy, more angst

word count:35K (ik the wc makes it feel v long but it’s really not that much haha)

a/n: im so excited to be coming back with this huge of a chapter for you guys. so much goes down and im insanely excited to share this next phase of my story with you. its v long so pls get comfortable with a blanket and snacks. I would recommend rereading the last chapter, if you can! thank you for still being here.

i recommend that you can listen to my star lost playlist here!

important: all works are fiction, and do not in any way represent the real personalities or real people, they exist only as faceclaims, and are fictional characters.

masterlist

He had fucked up. Even in the dimly lit drive-in theatre, the guilt on his face was evident. Hyunjin had never looked this devastated.

“I need to talk to you” 

That’s what he had said. The gnawing feeling in your gut got worse. Those words together, in that order, was never a good sign. You knew as much, and you knew whatever he had to tell you was going to be something bad.

“Why did you leave in the middle of the film?” You asked, gaze darting between him and your friends.

Yuqi was staring wide-eyed, watching this unfold, soda cup clutched in her hands, and Felix…he looked beyond irritated.

The movie could still be heard all the way over here. You weren’t too far from the projection screen, and the speakers were right next to you. It was a horrible place to be having this conversation, but you couldn’t wait. 

What was he holding back?

You’d always felt the safest around Hyunjin, but every breath between you right now was uncertain. He was fidgeting, sliding the silver ring off and on his finger.

“I was on my way back to you when—” Hyunjin paused, and the veins in his neck were prominent as he strained to be heard over the movie, “—when Felix found me. He wanted to talk”

Keep reading

[harrysfolklore]

i'm begging for that ex!charles fic. ex!trope is always a must

comeback - cl16

summary: charles and yn break up after seven years together and they also break everyone’s hearts. did they find their way back to each other?

folkie radio: silly little smau for the end of the summer break! i hope you like this, i love the ex trope

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

2023

liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc and 302,268 others

yourinstagram 7 years with my love 🥹 to celebrate, here’s a picture of us circa our last year of high school when we were just little babies. i love you @/charles_leclerc 🤍

view all 3,963 comments

view all 5,037 comments

username1 AWEEEE

username2 THE CUTEST EVERRR

pascale_leclerc Mes bébés ❤️ ♥︎ by author

username3 THE STANDARD

username4 BABY CHARLIEEE MY HEART

landonorris I want what you have ♥︎ by author, charles_leclerc

lorenzotl Did I take that picture?

↳ charles_leclerc Most likely

↳ yourinstagram our personal photographer since forever

username5 the real high school sweethearts i can’t wait for their wedding ♥︎ by author

charles_leclerc Best seven years ever. Je t’aime ❤️ ♥︎ by author

↳ yourinstagram i love you forever 🤍🤍

liked by yourinstagram, maxverstappen1 and 1,028,634 others

charles_leclerc Happy birthday to mon amour @/yourinstagram ❤️ Seven years celebrating with you and I wouldn’t have it any other way, I hope I made you happy today, I love you

view all 39,836 comments

username1 HAPPY BDAYYYY YN

username2 istg this couple is everything to me

carlossainz55 Happy birthday @/yourinstagram 🎉 ♥︎ by author, yourinstagram

username3 BDAY PROPOSAL??

↳ username1 lmfao we wish

pierregasly Best party ever ! ♥︎ by author, francisca.cgomes, lancestroll, yourinstagram

scuderiaferrari Happy birthday to the Ferrari girl ❤️ ♥︎ by author, yourinstagram

username4 if they ever break up i’ll stop believing in love

arthur_leclerc Love you both ! ♥︎ by author, yourinstagram

landonorris I’m still drunk

↳ charles_leclerc This is no surprise to anyone

↳ username1 HEEELP

yourinstagram you always make me happy, i love you 🤍 ♥︎ by author

liked by carlossainz55, scuderiaferrari and 2,278,354 others

charles_leclerc and yourinstagtam After seven wonderful years together, we have made the difficult decision to end our romantic relationship. This was a mutual agreement and one made thinking about what was best for each other. While we may be going our separate ways romantically, we want to emphasize that our bond remains strong. We still share a deep friendship and hold a tremendous amount of love and respect for each other.

We kindly request that neither of us be subjected to any hateful comments or speculation from the media or fans. We appreciate your respect for our privacy as we navigate this new chapter in our lives.

-Charles & YN

view all 28,527 comments

username1 GOD PLEASE NOOOOOOO

username2 just fell to my knees

landonorris You will always remain as my favorite couple 🥲

↳ username1 LANDO NOW ITS NOT THE TIME

francisca.cgomes Love you both so much 💗

↳ username3 kika has been promoted to #1 wag now that yn is no longer in the picture

username3 well now my heart is broken

username4 i started reading this and i thought zayn was leaving one direction again

username5 THERES NO WAY THIS IS REAL. they’re high school lovers charles always talked about yn being his first love SEVEN years together how did this happen

pierregasly ❤️

username6 yn can’t leave her wag status, i suggest she dates russell now

arthur_leclerc You will always be family @yourinstagtam 🫶

↳ username2 why did this make me cry

username8 seven years and no ring wow

username9 i hope we still see yn in the paddock from time to time :(((

username10 having major isa and carlos flashbacks

username11 this is so sad. how can you fall out of love with someone you’ve shared nearly a decade with

username12 i will be crying forever over this

yourinstagram has added to their stories

replies:

username1 the fact that this is charles’ car 🥲🥲

username2 just in my char-yn heart

francisca.cgomes i miss you so much around here, any chance you could come soon? 🥹

↳ yourinstagram is still too soon for that kiks :(

landonorris If you ever want to come to a race just let me know and I’ll send you some passes okay

↳ yourinstagram you’re a cutie lan ty

leclerc_pascale Ma belle, We miss you so much ❤️

↳ yourinstagram ❤️❤️

2024

liked by yourinstagram, pierregasly and 1,204,062 others

charles_leclerc Testing doneeee.

Cannot wait for the first race of the season next week !

view all 39,044 comments

username1 IM SO READYYYYYY

username2 FORZA CHARLES

scuderiaferrari We go again 🙌

username3 let this season be good i’m begging

carlossainz55 🔥🔥

username4 first season without yn (yes i’m still mourning)

username5 season of single charles

yourinstagram best of lucks 🤍 you can do this ♥︎ by author

↳ username1 HUH???

↳ username2 AM I READING THIS RIGHT?

↳ username3 i had to triple check this wasn’t a fake account

↳ username4 YN BROKE PUBLIC NO CONTACT OMFG

↳ username5 GET BACK TOGETHER WE’RE BEGGING

yourinstagram has added to their stories

replies:

username1 UM HELLO THE AUS GP IS TOMORROW?

username2 my delusional ass wants me to believe you’re going to the GP

francisca.cgomes IS THIS WHAT I THINK IT IS ???

↳ yourinstagram 👀👀

↳ yourinstagram it’s very lowkey tho, i don’t want to be spotted so i’ll be hiding in the corners

↳ francisca.cgomes Don’t care, we’re grabbing lunch together

landonorris You freaking muppet, you didn’t fall me you were back in Perceval’s arms

↳ yourinstagram because i’m not, lan

↳ landonorris sure sure

charles_leclerc ❤️

liked by username1, username2 and 25,837 others

f1gossip Charles Leclerc and ex girlfriend YN spotted together at the Australian GP

view all 2,087 comments

username1 OMFGGGGGG

username2 AH I KNEW IT I KNEW IT

username3 THEY’RE BACK????

username4 please this was bound to happen there was no way they were breaking up for real after seven years

username5 it only took a year but WE’RE SO BACK

username6 y’all jumping into conclusions that they’re back together but yn could just be hanging out there bc she loves f1

username7 sadly i don’t think they’re back together

liked by charles_leclerc, lilyhme and 536,397 others

yourinstagram recents 💌

view all 7,836 comments

username1 my favorite dumps istg

username2 UMMM ARE WE ALL THINKING THE SAME THING

username3 ferrer jacket ? a man? miami? kika? YUP CHAR-YN IS BACK

francisca.cgomes Reunited and it feels so good 🤍 ♥︎ by author

↳ yourinstagram love you forever

landonorris Absolutely heartbroken bc I didn’t make it ♥︎ by author

↳ username1 hear me out, lando and yn 👀

↳ username2 wouldn’t sound too crazy tbh

↳ yourinstagram next time maybe!

username4 THATS CHARLES IN THE SECOND PIC JAHSIS I KNOW MY MAN

↳ username3 that’s also his jacket in the first pic

username5 GIRL ADDRESS THE RUMORS

arthur_leclerc Please bring cookies for dinner tonight ♥︎ by author

↳ username3 LIKE DINNER WITH THE LECLERCS ??

↳ yourinstagram on it 🫡

username6 CHARLES IN THE LIKES ASWELL

username7 everyone assuming that she’s back with charles have you ever heard about being friendly with your ex ♥︎ by author

↳ username2 liking this comment won’t fool us yn

liked by username1, username2 and 18,486 others

charlesandyn YN IS AT THE MONACO GRAND PRIX RIGHT NOW THIS IS NOT A DRILL !!!!!

view all 2,988 comments

username1 AHHHHHH OMFG

username2 WITH MAMA PASCALE TOO

username3 THEY'RE SO BACK TOGETHER

username4 guys don't get your hopes up of course she was going to be there this is such a huge day

username5 she's still part of charles' life even tho they're not together anymore

username6 CHARYN IS SOOOO BACK

username7 LETS FCKING GO

liked by charles_leclerc, lilymhe and 675,095 others

yourinstagram MONACO LOVES HIM BACK ❤️🤍 we waited so long for this day, but it was all worth it. it has been a journey to watch you fight for this dream for so many years, and i feel honored to be part of it today. everyone is beyond proud of you, charlie. congratulations

view all 9,550 comments

username1 OMFGGGGG

username2 MY HEART CANT TAKE THIS

username3 WE'RE SO BACKKKKK

lorenzotl 🙌🙌🙌🙌

username4 this is how a supportive ex looks like

username5 yn needed to be there for his monaco win i’m happy she still attended even tho they’re not together

username6 THEY’RE SO BACK TOGETHER THERE’S NO WAY

landonorris Not me crying right now ♥︎ by author

↳ username1 me actually

↳ username2 LANDO 😭😭😭

username7 AH I JUST NEED THEM TO CONFIRM THEY’RE BACK TOGETHER

pascale_leclerc ❤️❤️

fracisca.cgomes BRAVO CHARLES 🎉

username8 as much as i want the rumors to be true this is just a healthy friendship after sharing so many years together

username9 don’t give me “exes can be friends” bullshit THEY’RE TOGETHER

charles_leclerc ❤️ ♥︎ by author

↳ username1 DONT DO THIS TO US

↳ username2 JUST CONFIRM IT

liked by pierregasly, yourinstagram and 1,170,665

charles_leclerc Half of the season done. Some ups like realizing a childhood dream in Monaco and some downs, but it’s time to rest and come back stronger for the second half. I can’t wait to spend the holidays with some special people 🤍

view all 32,700 comments

username1 this picture is so iconic

username2 hi charles are you spending the holidays with your ex girlfriend hopefully your girlfriend again?? we would like to know

instagram have a great holiday king 😌

scuderiaferrari Here’s to a great second half of the season ❤️

username3 ARE YOU AND YN BACK TOGETHER ???

username4 and when he spends the holidays with yn

username5 summer break means char-yn comeback i don’t make the rules

pierregasly 🙌🙌🙌

username6 ignore this comment if you and yn are back together

username7 comment section full of char-yn comments GET A GRIP

yourinstagram 💘 ♥︎ by author

↳ username1 THERE SHE IS

↳ username2 THEYRE SO BACK TOGETHER

↳ username3 HARD LAUNCH HARD LAUNCH

yourinstagram has added to their stories

replies:

username1 BESTIE ARE YOU BACK WITH CHARLES??

username2 charles’ yatch ?? 👀👀

arthur_leclerc I hate you guys for not taking me with you

↳ yourinstagram romantic getaway sorry bro

iamrebeccad 😍

charles_leclerc Come back here ❤️

↳ yourinstagram you’re so needy

liked by username1, username2 and 38,735 others

f1gossip 🚨 CHARLES LECLERC AND YN SPOTTED ON A YATCH IN MALLORCA TODAY

view all 3,987 comments

username1 OMFG

username2 I KNEW IT I KNEW ITTTT

username3 PRETENDS TO BE SHOCKED

username4 ABOUT DAMN TIME

username5 AHH im happy they got back together they’re made for each other

username6 THE BEST COUPLE IS BACKKKKK

username7 THIS CURED MY DEPRESSION

liked by charles_leclerc, francisca.cgomes and 802,367 others

yourinstagram this love came back to me 🤍

tagged: charles_leclerc

view all 8,322 comments

username1 AHHHHHH

username2 IM LOSING IT

francisca.cgomes 🥹🥹🥹🥹 ♥︎ by author

username3 THE TAYLOR LYRIC JUST KILL ME ALREADY

arthur_leclerc Not me tearing up ♥︎ by author

↳ username1 😭😭😭😭

username4 they found their way back to each other i could cry ♥︎ by author

leclerc_pascale ❤️

username5 THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT WE NEEDED

landonorris MY PARENTS MY PARENTS ♥︎ by author, charles_leclerc

↳ username2 he just gets it

↳ username3 lando was begging for this to happen

username6 THAT TWITTER ACCOUNT WAS RIGHT ALL THIS TIME

lilymhe the lyrics 🥺 im happy for you ♥︎ by author

charles_leclerc L'amour de ma vie. Forever ❤️ ♥︎ by author

↳ username1 AND IM CRYING AGAIN

↳ username2 DONT BREAK UP EVER AGAIN

↳ username3 they’re the reason i believe in love

liked by yourinstagram, arthur_leclerc and 2,736,399 others

charles_leclerc Heart full ❤️

view all 17,037 comments

username1 I’VE DIED AGAIN

username2 YES YES YES

username3 they even got a dog char-yn is stronger than ever

pierregasly 👏👏👏

landonorris If you need another one I can bark

↳ username1 LANDO JUST STOP

scuderiaferarri ❤️

username4 NOW GET MARRIED

username5 came back stronger than ever fr

username6 HANG THIS IN THE LOUVRE

oscarpiastri 🙌🙌

username7 can’t believe they were really broken up for over a year WHAT WERE THEY THINKING

lorenzotl We love you both

yourinstagram Mon cœur 💓 ♥︎ by author

[acourtofquestions]

Kingdom of Ash Chapter 20 …

oh my gods chapter 20…

I am dead inside.

And somehow dying more per chapter.

Ow. THE NIGHTMARE DREAM SEQUENCE

"Do you know the story of the queen who walked through worlds?"

Seated on the mossy carpet of an ancient glen, one hand toying with the small white flowers strewn across it, Aelin shook her head.

In the towering oaks that formed a lattice over the clearing, small stars blinked and shimmered, as if they'd been snared by the branches themselves. Beyond them, bathing the forest with light bright enough to see by, a full moon had risen. All around them, faint, lilting singing floated on the warm summer air.

"It is a sad story," her aunt said, one corner of her red-painted mouth curling upward as she leaned back on her seat carved into a granite boulder. Her usual place, while they had these lessons, these long, peaceful chats deep into the balmy summer nights. "And an old one."

Aelin lifted an eyebrow. "Aren't I a little old for faerie stories?" She'd indeed just celebrated her twentieth birthday three days ago, in another clearing not too far from here. Half of Doranelle had come, it had seemed, and yet her mate had found a way to sneak her from the revelry. All the way to a secluded pool in the forest's heart. Her face still warmed to think of that moonlit swim, what Rowan had made her feel, how he'd worshipped her in the sun-warmed water.

Mate. The word was still a surprise. As it had been to arrive here at spring's end and see him beside her aunt's throne and simply know. And in the months since, their courting ... Aelin indeed blushed at the thought of it. What they'd done in that forest pool had been the culmination of those months. And an unleashing. The mating marks on her neck— and on Rowan's-proved it. She would not be returning to Terrasen alone when autumn arrived.

"No one is too old for faerie stories," her aunt said, faint smile growing. "And as you are part faerie yourself, I would think you'd have some interest in them."

Aelin smiled back, bowing her head. "Fair enough, Aunt."

Aunt wasn't entirely accurate, not with generations and millennia separating them, but it was the only thing the queen had suggested Aelin call her.

Maeve settled further into her seat. "Long ago, when the world was new, when there were no human kingdoms, when no wars had marred the earth, a young queen was born."

Aelin folded her legs beneath her, angling her head.

"She did not know she was a queen. Amongst her people, power was not inherited, but simply born. And as she grew, her strength rose with her. She found the land she dwelled in to be too small for that power. Too dark and cold and grim. She had gifts similar to many wielded by her kind, but she had been given more, her power a sharper, more intricate weapon-enough that she was different. Her people saw that power and bowed to it, and she ruled them.

"Word spread of her gifts, and three kings came to seek her hand. To form an alliance between their throne and the one she had built for herself, small as it might have been. For a time, she thought it would be the newness, the challenge that she had always craved. The three kings were brothers, each mighty in his own right, their power vast and terrifying. She picked the eldest among them, not for any particular skill or grace, but for his countless libraries. What she might learn in his lands, what she might do with her power ... It was that knowledge she craved, not the king himself."

A strange story. Aelin's brows rose, but her aunt continued on.

"So they were wed, and she left her small territory to join him in his castle. For a time, she was contented, both by her husband and the knowledge his home offered her. He and his two brothers were conquerors, and spent much of their time away, leashing new lands to their shared throne. She did not mind, not when it gave her freedom to learn as she would. But her husband's libraries contained knowledge even he did not realize was held within. Lore and wisdom from worlds long since turned to dust. She learned that there were indeed other worlds. Not the dark, blasted realm in which they lived, but worlds beyond that, living atop one another and never realizing it. Worlds where the sun was not a watery trickle through the ash-clouds, but a golden stream of warmth. Worlds where green existed. She had never heard of such a color. Green. Nor had she heard of blue-not the shade of sky that was described. She could not so much as picture it."

Aelin frowned. "A pitiful existence."

Maeve nodded grimly. "It was. And the more she read about these other worlds, where long-dead wayfarers had once roamed, the more she wanted to see them. To know the kiss of the sun on her face. To hear the morning songs of sparrows, the crying of gulls over the sea. The sea that, too, was foreign to her. An endless sprawl of water, with its own moods and hidden depths. All they had in her lands were shallow, murky lakes and half-dried streams. So while her husband and his two brothers were off waging yet another war, she began to ponder how she might find a way into one of those worlds. How she might leave."

"Is such a thing even possible?" Something nagged at her, as if it might indeed be true, but perhaps that was one of her own mother's tales, or even Marion's, tugging on her memory.

Maeve nodded. "It was. Using the very language of existence itself, doors might be opened, however briefly, between worlds. It was forbidden, outlawed long before her husband and his brothers were born. Once the last of the ancient wayfarers had died out, the paths between realms were sealed, their methods of world-walking lost with them. Or so all had thought. But deep in her husband's private library, she found the old spells. She began with small experiments. First, she opened a door to the realm of resting, to find one of those wayfarers and ask her how it was properly done." A knowing smile. "The wayfarer refused to tell her. So the queen began to teach herself. Opening and closing doors long since forgotten or sealed. Peering deep into the workings of the cosmos. Her own world became a cage. She grew tired of her husband's warring, his casual cruelty. And when he went away to war once again, the queen gathered her closest handmaidens, opened a door to a new world, and left the one she'd been born into."

"She left?" Aelin blurted. "She she just left her own world? Permanently?"

"It had never been her world, not really. She had been born to rule others."

"Where did she go?"

That smile grew a bit. "To a fair, lovely world. Where there was no war, no darkness. Not like that in which she had been born. She was made a queen there, too. Was able to hide herself within a new body so that none could know what she was beneath, so that even her own husband would not recognize her."

"Did he ever find her again?"

"No, though he looked. Found out all she'd learned, and taught it to himself and his brothers. They tore apart world after world to find her. And when they arrived at the world where she had made her new home, they did not know her. Even as they went to war, she did not reveal herself. She won, and two of the kings, her husband included, were banished back to their own world. The third remained trapped, his power nearly broken. He crawled off into the depths of the earth, and the victorious queen spent her long, long existence preparing for his return, preparing her people for it. For the three kings had gone beyond her methods of world-walking. They had found a way to permanently open a gate between worlds, and had made three keys to do so. To wield those keys was to control all worlds, to have the power of eternity in the palm of your hand. She wished to find them, only so she might possess the strength to banish any enemies, banish her husband's youngest brother back to his realm. To protect her new, lovely world. It was all she ever wanted: to dwell in peace, without the shadow of her past hunting her."

From far away, that ghost of memory pushed. As if she'd forgotten to douse a flame left burning in her room. "And did the queen find the keys?"

Maeve's smile turned sad. "Do you think she did, Aelin?"

Aelin considered. So many of their chats, their lessons in this glen, held deeper puzzles, questions for her to work through, to help her when she one day took her throne, Rowan at her side.

As if she'd summoned him, the pine-and-snow scent of her mate filled the clearing. A rustle of wings, and there he was, perched in hawk form on one of the towering oaks. Her warrior-prince.

She smiled toward him, as she had for weeks now, when he'd come to escort her back to her rooms in the river palace. It was during those walks from forest to mist-shrouded city that she had come to know him, love him. More than she had ever loved anything.

Aelin again faced her aunt. "The queen was clever, and ambitious. I would think she could do anything, even find the keys."

"So you would believe. And yet they eluded her."

"Where did they go?"

Maeve's dark stare unwaveringly held hers.

"Where do you think they went?"

Aelin opened her mouth. "I think —

She blinked. Paused

Maeve's smile returned, soft and kind. As her aunt had been to her from the start. "Where do you think the keys are, Aelin?"

She opened her mouth once more. And again halted.

Like an invisible chain yanked her back. Silenced her.

Chain—a chain. She glanced down at her hands, her wrists. As if expecting them to be there.

She had never felt a shackle's bite in her life. And yet she stared at the empty place on her wrist where she could have sworn there was a scar. Only smooth, sun-kissed skin remained.

"If this world were at risk, if those three terrible kings threatened to destroy it, where would you go to find the keys?" Aelin looked up at her aunt.

Another world. There was another world Like a fragment of a dream, there was another world, and in it, she had a wrist with a scar on it. Had scars all over.

And her mate, perched overhead ... He had a tattoo down his face and neck and arm in that world. A sad story—his tattoo told a sad, awful story. About loss. Loss caused by a dark queen.

"Where are the keys hidden, Aelin?" That placid, loving smile remained on

Maeve's face. And yet ...

And yet.

"No," Aelin breathed

Something slithered in the depths of her aunt's stare. "No what?"

This wasn't her existence, her life. This place, these blissful months learning in Doranelle, finding her mate—Blood and sand and crashing waves.

"No."

Her voice was a thunderclap through the peaceful glen.

Aelin bared her teeth, fingers curling in the moss.

Maeve let out a soft laugh. Rowan flapped from the branches to land on the queen's upraised arm.

He didn't so much as fight it when she wrapped her thin white hands around his neck. And snapped it. Aelin screamed. Screamed, clutching at her chest, at the shredding mating bond—

She screamed again. Screamed at her ruined arm, the unscarred skin, screamed at the lingering echo of the severed mating bond.

"Do you know what pains me most, Aelin?" Maeve's words were soft as a lover's. "It's that you believe I'm the villain in this."

Whenever that had been. If it had even happened at all.

"I have no doubt that your mate or Elena or even Brannon himself filled your head with lies about what I'll do with the keys." Maeve ran a hand over the stone lip of the altar, right through her splattered blood and shards of bone. "I meant what I said. I like this world. I do not wish to destroy it. Only improve it. Imagine a realm where there is no hunger, no pain. Isn't that what you and your cohorts are fighting for? A better world?"

The words were a mockery. A mockery of what she'd promised so many. What she had promised Terrasen, and still owed it.

Aelin tried not to shift against the chains, against her broken arms, against the tight pressure pushing on her skin from the inside. A rising intensity along her bones, in her head. little more, every day.

Maeve heaved a small sigh. "I know what you think of me, Fire-Bringer. What you assume. But there are some truths that cannot be shared. Even for the keys." Yet the growing strain cracking within her, smothering the pain ... perhaps worse. Maeve cupped her cheek over the mask.

"The Queen Who Was Promised. I wish to save you from that sacrifice, offered up by a headstrong girl." A soft laugh. "I'd even let you have Rowan. The two of you here, together. While you and I work to save this world."

The words were lies. She knew it, though she couldn't quite remember where one truth ended and the lie began. If her mate had belonged to another before her. Been given away. Or had that been the nightmare?

Gods, the pressure in her body. Her blood.

You do not yield.

"You can feel it, even now," Maeve went on. "The urge of your body to say yes." Aelin opened her eyes, and confusion must have glittered there, because Maeve smiled. "Do you know what being encased in iron does to a magic-wielder? You wouldn't feel it immediately, but as time goes on ... your magic needs release, Aelin. That pressure is your magic screaming it wants you to come free of these chains and release the strain. Your very blood tells you to heed me."

Truth. Not the submission part, but the deepening pressure she knew would be worse than any pain from burnout. She'd felt it once, when plunging as far into her power as she'd ever gone.

That would be nothing compared to this.

"I am leaving for a few days," Maeve said.

Aelin stilled.

Maeve shook her head in a mockery of disappointment.

Fenrys sat by the wall, concern bright in his eyes as he blinked. Are you all right?

She blinked twice. No.

No, she was not anywhere near to all right.

Maeve had been waiting for this, waiting for this pressure to begin, worse than anything Cairn might do. And with the collar Maeve now went to personally retrieve … She couldn't let herself contemplate it. A more horrific form of slavery, one she might never escape, never be able to fight.

Not a breaking of the Fire-Bringer, but an erasure.

To take all she was, power and knowledge, and rip it from her. To have her trapped inside while she witnessed her own voice yield the location of the Wyrdkeys. Swear the blood oath to Maeve. Wholly submit to her.

Fenrys blinked four times. I am here, I am with you.

She answered in kind. I am here, I am with you.

Her magic surged, seeking a way out, filling the gaps between her breath and bones. She couldn't find room for it, couldn't do anything to soothe it.

You do not yield.

She focused on the words. On her mother's voice. Perhaps the magic would devour her from the inside before Maeve returned.

But she did not know how she'd endure it.

Endure another few days of this, let alone the next hour. To ease the strain, just a fraction ...

She shut down the thoughts that snaked into her mind. Her own or Maeve's, she didn't care.

Fenrys blinked again, the same message over and over. I am here, I am with you.

Aelin closed her eyes, praying for oblivion.

"Get up." A mockery of words she'd once heard.

[bangtanshelves]

JJK Fanfic Recos

Hi. These are some of the fanfics I've read.

I've read A LOT but I'll only be including the ones I really enjoyed reading.

I'm in the process of recollecting them, please bare with me.

I'm also updating this post often, so whenever I end finishing a fic I like I just post it here. hehe

💓 - Fluff ❤‍🩹 - angst 🥵 - smut 🚨 - violence/drugs 🤪 - crack ⭐ - fav 🎣 - latest addition to the list

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚. SERIES ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

My Love is Here - @/solemnreads

Completed ✅ ⭐

Genre: 💓, ❤‍🩹 (so much angst, I love it), 🥵 summary: "You didn’t mean for it to happen. It’s not like you purposely woke up one day and thought “Hey I’m going to fall in love with my best friend!” No, that is not at all what happened."

Knife's Edge - @/readyplayerhobi

Completed ✅

Genre: 💓, ❤‍🩹,🥵, 🚨 The Jeon Clan is Family, built on blood and loyalty. It’s been an unspoken fact that one day you will marry the heir to the Clan, Jeon Jungkook. You would be a fool to deny that you love him, but what happens when you meet a blue haired man who offers you a chance at normality?

Four Seven Eight - @/jiminrings

Completed ✅ ⭐

Genre: 💓, ❤‍🩹 (fic made me cry) ,🥵 you’re secure when it comes to loving jungkook, knowing that your husband loves you beyond words. what you aren’t so secure about is his first love — someone who isn’t you.alternatively, jungkook’s married to you, but he still celebrates his anniversary with his ex out of sentimentality.

Close to you - @/muniimyg

Completed ✅ ⭐

genre: 💓, 🤪 It should've been easier than this, right?In which oc and Jungkook sleep together and he can't get over it.

Falling Skies - @/fortunexkookie

Completed ✅ ⭐

Genre: 💓, ❤‍🩹,🥵 Jeon Jiyeon was your childhood best friend; her brother, Jungkook, was something else entirely. Once upon a time, she had called you her sun and him her moon; it was fitting, given the constant push-and-pull between you two. You used to consider him a friend, but then he had gone from endearingly frustrating dumb boy to card-carrying fuckboy so fast it had given you whiplash.

Please Love Me - @/ahunderedtimesover

Completed ✅ ⭐

Genre: 💓, ❤‍🩹,🥵 As the only unmarried Jeon and Kim children, your families propose a union to symbolize your unbreakable bond that spans generations. But despite developing an affection for Jungkook growing up, he never returned it; he never seemed to like you, actually. You’re okay with the proposal, but surprise surprise, he isn’t.

Lowkey - @/xpeachesncream

Completed ✅ ⭐

Genre: 💓, ❤‍🩹, 🥵 In order to pass organic chemistry and pay off your car damages from an accident, all you have to do is help the nerd, Jeon Jungkook, with a few things: pretend to be his girlfriend and teach him the way of dating.

Hotter Than Hell - @/chateautae

Completed ✅ ⭐

Genre: ❤‍🩹, 🥵 Jungkook, Lucifer and king of hell, has been cast out of the crimson underworld for a reason he's unsure of. Embarking on his journey for the answers should've been easy, if it weren't for you, the human that nurses his wounded body in her home, and accidentally witnesses the truth of his identity. Kickstarting a hellish adventure with the devil himself, you discover Lucifer is the most infuriating company ever; and Jungkook finds out that maybe his answer to returning home lies within his annoying human confidant.

An Ode to a Broken Heart - @/smoochkooks

Ongoing... ✍

Genre: ❤‍🩹 (bro I've been crying over this fic for days), 🥵 (future smut)  you’ve watched jeon jungkook slip out of your reach your entire life. now it’s time for you to finally move on, bury the past and open a new chapter. however, you’re doing it in your own, unconventional way - by publishing anonymously a novel about your miserable relationship.

Mutual Help - @/personasintro

Ongoing... ✍ (this is also posted on AO3)

Genre: 💓, ❤‍🩹,🥵 (damn... that's all i can say)  in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help

Way Back Home - @/solemnreads

Ongoing... ✍

Genre: 💓, ❤‍🩹 (please i really love angsty fics, fite me), 🥵

"Please tell me this isn't what I think it is" he asks you with tears in his eyes. You look down at the sight of your son with an oxygen mask on his face while your daughter is sleeping on the couch near the wall. You look into his eyes, broken, and sad. You've dreamt of this day for years, wondering how he would react. But here you are, hoping he could've meet the twins under different circumstances. "Yes... they're your children."

Strawberry Kisses - @/pixieknj

Ongoing... ✍

Genre: ❤‍🩹, 🥵 (Chapter 1 has been posted, but its something else) Jungkook is notoriously known as a f^ckboy who doesn’t eat p^ssy, until he finally gets alone with you…

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚. ONE-SHOTS or TWO-SHOTS ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

The Right Choice - @/honeytae

Genre: 💓 for as long as you've known Jungkook, you would think that you're witnessed all sides of him. But when you notice the way he's looking at you right now, you think you may be wrong about that.

Rainy Days - @/rklve

Genre: 💓, ❤‍🩹,🥵 Your life choices left not only yours, but Jungkook's hear broken in pieces. Now you're back in town, and just like Pluto, even if its cold and dark he tends to orbit around his sun forever.

High Demand - @/bunnyhugs77

Genre: 💓, 🥵, 🚨 A modern day Romeo and Juliet

SOJU - @/hoseoksluna

Genre: ❤‍🩹,🥵 Jungkook gives you all that he has—his feelings, his dominance and his cum.

Lost & Found - @/kooktrash

Genre: ❤‍🩹 (if you squint), 🥵 your college years have never been something you dwelled on for too long. you didn’t want to think of all the chances you lost and that’s why when the guy you had a crush on moves back to town, you try not to let it affect you again. but then he brings up old memories that didn’t go the way you thought they had and you’re thrown for a loop. you’re stuck between finding something new with him and falling back into old habits of never standing up for yourself. it probably doesn’t help that he dated your best friend, where everything seemed to go wrong.

Bottle Up Old Love - @/wintaerbaer

Genre: 💓, ❤‍🩹,🥵 Jungkook may have broken up with you a year ago, but that's not going to stop him from coming to your rescue when he sees you being cornered by a creep.

Pink Sapphire - @/jiminrings ⭐

Genre: 💓, ❤‍🩹(please I'm a sucker for this) ,🥵 Having Jungkook as a husband is great as far as arranged marriages could go; he's easy to love. Your relationship's perhaps become so easy that Jungkook doesn't think sometimes— and that's what makes it the easiest for you to hate him.

Will it fit? - @/jeonsweetpea

Genre: 💓, 🥵, 🤪, ❤‍🩹 (just a little bit) So what if your roommate caught you masturbating? At least he forgot about it the next day. But he can't exactly forget the big dildo you left in your shared bathroom...

Break up with your Boyfriend - @/spideyjimin

Genre: 💓, ❤‍🩹,🥵 Jungkook, the campus fuckboy, has decided to make you his next victim, but you're far from being like any of his previous hookups. You're not single. You're actually in a very long-term relationship with Baekhyun, the man you consider the love of you life, but it's for sure something that won't stop Jungkook. He wants you, and he's going to do absolutely everything to have you, even falling in love.

Paint me naked - @/gimmethatagustd

Genre: 💓, ❤‍🩹,🥵 After the mysteriously hot guy in your university class starts taking an interest in you, should you really trust that he's not like all the other college fuckboys? Especially when his best friend is the guy who broke your heart?

I hate you, I love you - @j/ungblue 🎣

Genre: ❤‍🩹,🥵 You hated him at seven, warmed up to him at twelve, and liked him at fifteen. Now the two of you are twenty years old and inseparable best friends... and you're absolutely in love with him; he's in love too—just not with you.

How to Get a Guy - @/taeshobipop 🎣

Genre: 💓, ❤‍🩹, 🥵 Star basketball player Jeon Jungkook has a reputation as the ultimate fuckboi. He's loved by everyone. Everyone. And you would have followed suit if he had not broken all your strict Roommate Rules™ within the first week of his stay. Jungkook, on the other hand, thinks you're absolutely bizarre. But there's a silver lining— Mr. Fuckboi here knows basketball captain Min Yoongi, your dreadfully clueless crush. He strikes up a deal with you: he'll teach you the ways of flirting if you lessen your load of rules (so Jungook can continue persuing his way through the ladies on campus). Yet the longer Jungkook spends with you, the more he realizes that maybe he doesn't want to tbe the campus fuckboi anymore. The problem is, how does he prove that to you?