#i'm brain dea d

[uvher]

// hahahaha burnout

[persimmonsimmer]

Sam's tired brain was still struggling to make sense of the scene in front of her when her sobbing sister flung herself into her arms.

“S-Sam!” her sister wailed. “There was a fire. I was the only one—Everyone’s d— dea��”

A . . . fire? Everyone else, dead? It didn't make any sense.

Above her sister's head, she saw Carl's cheek twitch.

“Poor thing,” Meda cooed, placing a comforting hand on her back.

“She wandered into town this morning. She was looking lost, asking for Sam,” Jeremy explained. “So we brought her here, and then she told us . . . what happened. I'm so sorry, Sam.”

“Terrible, terrible news,” Carl murmured gravely. “Thank you for bringing her to us, Jeremy, Meda. Sam and I will see to Robin from here.”

Meda reluctantly stepped away from the crying girl. “Let me know if either of you need anything,” she said. “I can brew a calming tea, if needed. . . . Or I can listen. I’m sorry, Sam.”

Head bowed solemnly, Carl walked Meda and Jeremy to the door. Then he locked it behind them.

Once they'd made it back across the street, he turned back to Sam and Robin.

His sympathetic expression was gone.

“Tell me, now, how it is you've come here.”

[caremobile]

Journal Entry Part 2 1/9/2024

KKS.

I have a lot of promissory notes up the waz and live on those --I suppose my pay will be on Promissory notes gold water real estate art crypto shares etc etc and basic income -

my wife I assume will dip in my account as often as the thought occurs and edit and re edit my face book -

as you can see I have two followers and hardly any photos of my children in instagram

I guess K -

I created this firm - two firms Crown Conservatoire and Alex Duponte and one is sold to the IRA/PGIM and the other is sold to Rubloff for an undisclosed sum --round abouts I got 38 percent shares of PGIM and as a family we got regency and controlling shares of Trinity Library Systems and in terms of Rubloff 342 EU in Gold over 20 years

will be fine --

its like for now I am head of John D Federal Loans it seems that way Apparantly

Keep Alpha Delta Secret --

I'lll retire as head of Case Western Reserve School of Law as a Regent its named after me and Stanfords California institute of Law and Hoover and Johns Hopkins School of Law and Medicine and as head of Rockefeller Institute --and as Prime Minister and National Security Advisor to the Empress Dowager and Princess Dowager and Auditor to the Nicole Pritzker --and head Profiler to the DEA/FBI.

They'll give me a porsche two of them. And will have it time shared just like my apartment at Burnham Pointe. Because Marisol Sean is my assistant she'll just have to share it with her sister.

They are doing a remake of the Movie -Farewell My Concubine - They're adopting to fit the story of Mafiosa Ex Sinatra and Me.

to my wife -I am her Scott Cambell and she's or was my Dying Young Nurse when I had stage 4 Brain Cancer.

I'm sending two of my children to Rice Creative Writing and my son Arnell to BFI Boucoup. I promise them that. The Billionaire Boys Club!I want one of my children to be a Celllist like Yo Yo Ma -and an art purveyor. Prepare Ellie. JLO will give her a hacker alter ego she'll keep for underground purposes her overt ego will be conductor

[pagefontanillasy]

Chapter 7: Gracefully yours

The mission is all set, but it's too early to call it an operation. What DEA and ND is doing at the moment are standard procedures. They follow a tip, and act on it. Paige on the other hand has been successful making arrests that slows Zhang's business. Although the reality isnt successful as this would mean more violence in the streets. Not only that, but racism is starting to boil out. Chinese and Hong Kong community are affected, even those who are mixed within the pillars fo Filipino community. Against Americans too. They believe it's the Americans who brought the drug problem. The citizens has handled it in their own way.

Heath and Holbrook swings a visit at the precinct 07, as they grner on to seek more labs of Zhang and operation hubs. Across the board room, Ed can't take his eyes off but tries to concentrate on the meeting at hand. It has been a month since their arrangement has begun. Ed was with Paige last night. Keeping professional and keeping it in his pants are difficult indeed. But he tries at least.

Paige's turn to speak speaking to Trojes and when her mouth turned to the shape of O, he feels hard.

Her red stained lips clutches around the base of his dick, the softest part. Paige's sexy mouth sucks on him like a very submissive slut.

"Uhhhh! That's good~~" He praises her, while his two arms stretches out over the edge of the bed. Paige kneeling down between him, Paige's hands jerking off his hard shaft and the other cupping his balls. Paige's golden eyes staring at him.

She looks good in that way. Philippine National Police's most powerful woman sucking his cock--an American cock. American educated, American trained but hates Americans is being American fucked in the mouth. Paige pushes his dick down her throat repeatedly, choking on his kenght.

"If we push too hard, we will push him out of the country and back to the arms of China."

Paige says.

"What do we do with this now?" Holbrook asks.

Paige stares flatly at Ed. "What do we do, Special Agent Heath?"

They lock eyes for a second before Heath turns to his fellow American. "I will gear towards the Captain. Politically, diplomatically--this won't be good either. Besides, it's the hottest time of the year-- elections are coming up next year. There are still officials that are connect d with Zhang with his money-- he is this close to buying a president."

Holbrook and Trojes nod.

"So are you saying this is out of our hands?"

"For now," Ed and Paige says in unison. And is shocked. Javier side eyes his two bosses.

Back in their desks in the pantry Javier talks to Paige. "You're not very subtle, Cap."

"Shoot me, Peña."

"This thing going on between you and Ed, I'll have to warn you."

Paige leans on the counter. "Enlighten me, what is this thing going on between him and I? I don't follow."

Javier leans in, "Your affair."

Paige laughs but no humor. "Is your brain squashed with so much sex that it's all you think?"

Javier sqyints. "I know those looks."

"Follow me," Paige rolls.

Paige goes to her office now a a file room and retrieves a dossier and handed it to Javier.

"Close the door."

Javier did.

"A year ago I approached Heath in secret. Although we work together for the Operation, there was something I needed him for."

"So you gathered evidences to all the officials connected with Cho Ren Shi."

"Every man on his payroll. If I went official with this, they'll hammer us down. Doin another operation silently will do the trick."

"So you made me think you are both having an affair."

"It's much better."

"That sucks."

"Sucks for all of us."

"So are you still in secret partnership."

"No, just what you said, we are having an affair."

Javier raises his eyebriw.

"I'm a widow! And he is-- I don't know bored with his wife."

"Alright," Javier laughs.

"Thanks for the concern, but stay out of my personal life."

Another Friday arrives, and Ed comes out. He tells Tony to wait for three hours.

Tony knows that something is up with their boss but whatever he is doing in his private life is none of their business. Tony knows he's been hooking up with ND Captain every week in different days. Sometimes they change up. When the wife asks, Tony lies for him and Ed didn't need to tell him to. He is still a man after all. 26 years married and you will not want another pussy? He won't believe it. This is the only time of 12 years of service that he has ever cheated.

Upstairs, Paige and Ed has finished making love. The redness on her chest and Ed's love bites stung. Ed traces her skins lightly with his finger. They count each other's scars. Ed has one on his shoulder, a bullet struck. One of the many gun battles he has engaged into.

Ed spots another abover her breast. They were light but still noticeable but it didn't ruin the beauty.

"Whered you get this?"

Ed asks.

"In the South, 1979. The rebels captured me. Part of their torture."

Ed creases his head with worry. "Tortured? Jesus Christ, Paige. They didn't rape did you?"

Paige breathes. "They tried. They molested me but the way that they will rape is not because of lust or get pleasure, it's more on inflicting pain. Overpowering you. Humiliating you. Breaking you." She locks eyes with Ed whose eyes fully awake, shocked.

Paige laughed. "I don't want to tell you it's embarrassing. But I did what I had to do to survive. They lost interest in me and thought I'm broken anyway. If it's broken, why break it?"

This elicited a soft laughter from Ed. "Show me how, or it didn't happen."

"No way!"

"I want to know how."

"It's petrifying!"

"You haven't seen me petrified by worst things yet."

"I'm not going to start," Paige giggles and Ed climbs over her, weighing on his weight on her.

"What are you doing?" Paige continues to gigle as Ed pins her hands up.

"What did you say to them?"

"Fuck you," she says sensually reaching into his lips.

Ed bits in, kissing her soft lips with thender care sucking her lower lip. Their tongues come out and Paige's no match with his. His rough exterior against her sensuality. She hugs him, her fingers running up and down his back. Still feeling out another scar he had. Ed climbs down to take another plunge between her healthy breasts. His mouth sucked on her nipple like a baby while the other kneads.

"Ohhh~~" Paige neck arches. Ed goes down licking her navel then kissing the softest parts inside her thigh, near her crying pussy. Ed sees something--similar to his wife's. A cut along the groin. He's not so sure but it's when a woman gives birth normally. He threw it out of his mind. He continues to circulate his tongue around until it finds her folds. Paige using her finger separated the tip.

"Here," she says. Ed has complied licking her clitoris.

"Uhh~~" Paige flips her head can't get enough of his tongue.

Ed knew what she likes. The strokes that'll make her hum and cum.

"mmmmmhhmmm!"

Paige moans as she cums, squirting. "Oh shit ahhHhHH!"

Ed pulls him closer his arm extending to fondle her breast.

Paige cried in pleasure.

Ed lifts himself wile Paige recovers. But Paige is fast as she pushes him down, to suck his dick. Ed sees the crown of her ass, perfect heart shape. It lifts up as her mouth is busy brushing his dick in it.

He loves it. He is addicted to it. His wife can't believing only dirty women do those kind of things. Paige is cleanest woman he knows. Organized but dirty in bed.

"Ohhh~~ you're so good. Fuck!"

He loses breath. His head swings back against the board.

"That's enough, I'm going to cum."

Tonight is a bit special as they won't need a rubber. It's almost her red and so no sex for a while for one week. But he can enjoy unlimited pop.

Ed takes her face and Paige plays with his cum in his mouth. Now he knows why only dirty women sucks cocks. He won't kiss that mouth. Paige knew that as Ed is a tight ass. Ed hands her a bottle a water and Paige drowns in his eyes as she rinses her whole mouth.

She rides him and Ed sits back enjoying the show. They both came. But Ed has no time to cuddle as he has to go home. If he has a choice, he wouldnt leave her. He'll want to wake up with her by his side. Or watch her sleep, and hear her small snore.

"I want to stay longer."

Ed says catching his breath.

"You should go. Were not actually lovers. We are just fucking each other's brains out." Paige says sleepily.

"I want to fuck you longer."

"Go, Heath. I'll see you on Monday."

Ed leaves and gets home. He takes a shower there while the wife is sleeping. He checks on his children first, already big boys. He will take them golfing tomorrow at least to make it up for missed dinners.

Ed's wife, Sara, is thought to be really beautiful. A blonde, white woman whom he met in college. He was her first in everything. He has no interests with other women as he is too focused with his job. He is basically like the American way of study well work well and marry well. The company of prostitutes didn't much count. But Heath is a neat freak. Unlike Javier who is not very distinct.

He couldn't sleep and so he goes to his office taking Paige's dossier again. A mention of a husband but no name and no child. It didn't even mention that husband died already. He looks at the Black and white ID photo again. Innocent, pretty face.

He caresses it as if caressing her actual face.

"Ed?" Sara opens the door.

"Why are you awake?" He asks.

"Why are you not asleep yet?"

"Just-- nothing. Go back to bed, honey."

"Not without you."

Heath smiles and hides Fontanilla's dossier on the others. He makes a mental note to hide it well ro get rid of it before Sara suspects.

Sara and Ed talks about the past. About their youth. They laugh and later as they keep kissing. They both feel the urge to make love. Ed surprisingly is still vigorous after two rounds of sex with Paige. But it's different with Paige.

[perpetuallypottytraining]

Favorite characters to think about in omo situations?

ooh, good question!

For a lot of the prompts I reblog, I tend to imagine whatever blorbo I'm currently rotating in my mind at the moment. Lots of tv characters, lol.

As for my favorite characters... let me split them into three categories:

For the soft omo, like the stuff on this blog, I like to think of characters that deserve comfort and nice things. Like: Connor from Detro/it:Beco/me Human and Musical!Be/etlejuice :)

For the omo that's a bit more mean/non-agere, like the stuff that's on my other blog, I usually imagine action movie adjacent characters: Eth/an Hunt (Mis/sion Impo/ssible) is a good one, might be the one I imagine most often for that blog. Others include Baron Zem/o (MCU), Otto Oc/tavius (the old movies/MCU), and the Ri/ddler (Comics and Cartoons).

And then, the characters I imagine in both categories are: B/ucky Barnes (MCU), Matt Murdo/ck (MCU), Dea/n and Cas (Su/pernat/ural), and Pe/ter Pa/rker (Comics, MCU, and Andrew's). These are the top tier characters that my brain loves to rotate around.

There's a lot of other characters I like to think about, but I think that these have stood the test of time and are my favorites.

Anyway, for the sake of completion, here's some recent blorbos I think should wet their pants: A/drian Chase (Pea/cemaker), He/rbert West (Re-Anim/ator), aaaand, bc I just finished Te/d La/sso, Ja/mie Tart and Roy Ke/nt. Time will tell how much I'll think about them, lol

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. CXV

It was a love story from the very beginning.

Dean's Emotional Prison (Part II)

(14x09, 14x10)

Hello friends! This is the second part of this meta, this time it will be Dean centric, based on episode 14x10.

My meta will be a resume of the following analysis from episode 14x10: X, X, X and X.

Rocky's Bar: Dean's emotional prison.

"This is my dream" Dream says when he talks about the bar inside his mind to Pamela. But soon, watching the scenes and the scenario, we will find out is not. The bar was his own Emotional Prison, what his mind thought he could reach, repressing his own really desires.

The entire Rocky's Bar was full of visual elements with Dean centric symbolism.

I wrote this thoughts in one of my metas:

This is a symbolism from Dean behavior towards problems and inner desires. He avoid "the beast" what he really wants, his own feelings, like the bullfighter does with the bull.

Brief comment about Cosmic Cowboy (one of the here's name from Family Business) we took it as a reference of Castiel.

Another take from the symbolism in the bar was this:

"Daphne Loves Fred" it's a reflection of Dean's innocence and pure love for Castiel. The green color is related to Dean's healing process and the lemons are a blatant representation of mature passion for the angel.

But I also related this to Scooby Doo clues throughout the show. The mention of it lead us to 13x16 but also, to Regarding Dean episode.

Based on this episode and 14x06 I was able to elaborate a spec that became true in episode 14x13. In which Castiel 'lost his memories' (in fact it was the appearence of Castiel who never saved Dean from Hell) and how Dean would pick his present family and his romantic love for Castiel over his past.

Another important scene was that woman trying to buy Dean's bar.

And what she said was very interesting... She said Dean had been interested in sell the bar, and she brought the papers for him to sign. But Dean didn't want to, and she turned around and said the bar was kind of "dead", I mean... Without customers... This is a very very symbolic scene, bc if we think this bar is Dean's emotional prison, where he keeps his repressed feeling and desires, and where he plays avoiding reality, and now it doesn't have costumers, and he wanted to sell it... Is bc HE IS HEALING PREPARING HIMSELF TO BREAK FREE FROM THIS PRISON, BC THERE'S NO MORE COSTUMERS (there's no more reason to be there, to that bar existing anymore.) Even so, he said no... Bc Michael locked him again. And he is again in negation.

Why Pamela?

I remember the so many discussions about Pamela running the bar together with Dean.

The consensus was : Castiel mirror. Why? Because the t-shirt and the wings in her necklace.

But I wasn't agreed with that. To me, Pamela was a complex of repressed thoughts, guilt, feelings. Pamela was Dean's subconscious representation.

When I first saw her I knew my brain will have to work hard... Bc, she is a projection from Dean's subconscious. There's not thing more complicated that our brains, so this girl was so great written, each detail and each word she said had a meaning FOR DEAN, bc she is A PROJECTION OF MEMORIES, FEELINGS, AND DEFENSE MECHANISM coming from Dean.

This pic here is yelling Dean's bisexuality, because Pamela represents Dean too.

The music playing in the background repeats the whole time "And I'm looking for a rainbow" which means, Dean is yelling his gay love for the angel but repressing it at the same time.

And let's read this dialogue here:

DEAN How come you always have a boyfriend?

PAMELA How come you only want what you can't have?

DEAN Whoa.

Pamela, Dean's complex repressed subconscious, is yelling him to search for a rainbow, and is yelling him he wants Castiel, the angel he can't have (parallel to 15x18)

PAMELA Besides, you don't want me. You just like to flirt. I'm a psychic, so I kinda know.

Again, Pamela here is now a representation of all women. Dean just like to flirt, but what he really wants is Castiel.

Parallel between Rocky's Bar and Dean's Cave.

The prison inside the prison

When Sam and Castiel tried to bring Dean to reality, his own mind dragged him to a place that represented the prison inside the prison.

Good thing was FAMILY LOVE and ROMANTIC LOVE were able to help Dean to break free from this prison.

Quoting Destiel

When Michael quoted Castiel in the barn inside of Dean's head and also mocked Castiel when they were trying to get inside of Dean's mind was just a reinforcer of the idea that DEAN THINKS ABOUT CASTIEL THE WHOLE TIME. CASTIEL IS CENTRIC IN HIS MIND AND HEART. So, thank you Mike.

A little of Foreshadow...

This picture here now it has more sense to me:

White ball: Chuck, behind the stick.

Green and Red: Dean

Blue: Castiel

Facing Black: Death/Empty.

This was the Foreshadow of the end.

To Conclude:

'Nihilism' was an episode full of symbolism. We watched Dean's emotional prison and all what he had in mind. We also saw again what he really wants: Castiel.

Hope you like this meta, see you in the next one.

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @dizzypinwheel @horsez2002 @qanelyytha

If you want to be added or removed from this list just let me know.

@destielle @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @belacoded @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996 @lisafu02 @asphodelesauvage @deancasgirl777

If you wanna read the previous metas from season 14 here you have the links:

Vol. CIX, CX, CXI, CXII, CXIII, CXIV.

Buenos Aires, May 30 2021 12:24 PM

[foone]

If I get covid, I'm suing the DEA for violating my constitutional rights.

See, I can't have my ADHD meds mailed to me like all my other prescriptions, because they're scared someone will steal them out of the mail. So I have to go into the pharmacy, during a pandemic, and potentially get infected by all the coughing maskless people.

But hey, at least I only have to do it every three months!

EXCEPT NO.

There is a nationwide shortage of ADHD drugs at the moment that is entirely artificial: the DEA decided there was "too much" Adderall being used and limited the supply. Presumably to try to keep it out of the hands of people who will "abuse" it, not specifically to harm people with diagnosed medical conditions who have a valid prescription, but that may be giving them too much credit.

So now I can't get a three month supply anymore. I can only get in monthly. So every month I have to go into the hospital with the maskless coughing people and risk covid, all while I'm surrounded by big posters saying "hey there's a pandemic, why don't you have your prescriptions mailed to you?"

There's a "shortage", but calling it that seems wrong and misleading. It's a completely artificial shortage. No factories shut down. No mines had their sextroamphetamine veins run dry. No key ingredients had their prices spike unreasonably due to political unrest and capitalists capitalisting.

The DEA just woke up one day and decided there was too much Adderall and turned down the big knob on how much is allowed to be made.

Well, here's the fun part for people with ADHD: if we can't get the prescribed stimulants that make our brains work, we'll switch to other ones.

Which is just great because it's not like those alternatives don't have side-effects! Without Adderall there's gonna be a lot of energy drinks and coffees and teas, and all the side-effects of those. You wanna talk about high blood pressure?

And those are just the legal ones. Meth is still plenty easy to get ahold of. Not to mention crack and cocaine.

Which is funny, because the DEA has already fucked me over meth. They decided to wage war on pseudoephedrine, which is a great decongestant with minimal side effects. They restricted the sale of it, making it behind the counter and requiring pharmacies to keep records of who buys it and how often, so that if you buy slightly too much they can kick down your door and yell "where's the meth lab?"

Which has a couple problems. First, it makes the medicine harder to get for people who need it legitimately (I have a deviated septum, my nose barely works at the best of time, I need decongestants!), but also it means that medications that included pseudoephedrine (your Allegras, Claritins, and Sudafeds) had to reformulated to not include it anymore, so they wouldn't massively lose out on sales.

So they switched to phenylephrine. (and continued making a behind-the-counter version with the pseudoephedrine in it, usually called OLDNAME-D).

So what's wrong with that? Fucking EVERYTHING.

At the recommended doses, phenylephrine shows no decongestant effect over placebo. So it doesn't work. Great.

But that's not the biggest problem: see, it has no effect on congestion, but it does have an effect: it raises blood pressure.

So basically the DEA's war on meth caused millions of Americans to switch to a medication that

1. Does not work

2. Causes high blood pressure

IN A NATION WHERE HEART DISEASE WAS THE #1 CAUSE OF DEATH PRIOR TO COVID SHOWING UP.

And the final bow on this cluster fuck? The ultimate crowning achievement of the DEA's failure?

Do you know how much effect restricting pseudoephedrine had on the meth supply?

Fucking zip! Nada! Ziltch! Nothing at fucking all!

Pseudoephedrine only ever made sense as a meth precursor if you were making it in big batches, and in those cases it tended to be stolen/reappropriated from laboratories, not by going into the Walgreens and asking for 500 boxes of Sudafed.

Meth production was already switching to smaller and cheaper methods of production, ones that could easily be done in mobile labs or just "any car", which made it much harder for law enforcement to effectively combat it, and also meant PSEUDOEPHEDRINE MADE NO SENSE AS A PRECURSOR CHEMICAL.

This is literally a policy with a death toll associated with it. Innocent people who have never touched a meth have died because the DEA wanted to be "tough on drugs", and the companies making legal drugs switched to an alternative that caused heart problems.

That's not to say that like "all meth users should die" or anything, of course. I'm from the south: I have more relatives who have used meth than have gotten an Adderall prescription, despite ADHD clearly running in my family. Drug users are people too.

It's just that even in the grim calculus of the "war on drugs", they failed. They didn't sacrifice the lives of drug dealers and drug users to fight meth, and they certainly didn't save any of their lives by making meth harder to get (because they didn't make it any harder).

They instead sacrificed the lives of a bunch of people with allergies and heart disease, to win no actual ground against meth, other than the publicity of the George W. Bush administration being able to say they were "cracking down on meth".

I hope it was worth it. Since that law went into effect, something like 12 million people have died of heart disease in America. How many of them would still be alive today if the DEA hadn't fucked up and put a bunch of people on medication to spike their blood pressure l?

The fun thing about having to go to the doctor to prove my blood pressure isn't too high is that going to a Kaiser facility is the most aggravating thing I do on a regular basis.

"yeah your blood pressure was a little high the last time we tested it, so you can't have any ADHD meds. Come back in and test it again"

Hey maybe my blood pressure is so high when you test it because every time I have to go to your damn hospital, I get misgendered five times BY THE PEOPLE LITERALLY GIVING ME HORMONES and nearly get killed trying to park and I'm surrounded by coughing people who aren't wearing masks? It seems that might increase my blood pressure somewhat.