#i'm back in hell (dsmp hyperfix came back)

[cfiances]

cfiances got married in the end to me idc idc

[hopalongfairywren]

Alone at The Edge Of A Universe Humming a Tune

aka, a dsmp meta--ish post in 2023, god help us all. (And No, I'm not leaving the fandom) I don't even know what to say how do you even begin with something you loved so much and spent so little time with. Like, being in the fandom since the beginning to the canon end is such a profound experience but coming late? Man. I came after the fractures started showing and the lore discourse had gotten brutal and everyone was tired. I think I only really got into the plot itself around the time of the revengers and I only really joined the fandom here on tumblr around this time actually. And we know how the story went into rapid decline following the prison break and everything afterwards was a slow and brutal descent, but that was my first exposure to the DSMP, when arguably most of it's flaws were being shown and discussed and talked about and even though I tried so hard I still fell in love. And I defended it. You can see so many old posts of mine defending the lore, saying how I had faith the writers knew what they were doing and would address *story problem 1234* and up until like, june. Of 2022. When season 2 was first announced and already c!Wilbur's and c!Quackity's stories were coming to an end and people were pissed about a possible world reset, I tried to tepidly defend it saying that probably wouldn't happen and when it was said on twitter BY the creator, I took that at face value. And maybe it was my fandom honeymoon phase entering overdrive, maybe it was copium to try and convince myself I wouldn't be torn up over it one day, maybe I was just desperately wishing for someone to agree with me. That I hadn't come to a fandom too late. And I wouldn't trade it for the world. Most of my hyperfixations have lasted literal years, and I don't see my dsmp one ending anytime soon. I also tend to go back to them, if the occasional warrior cats post is anything to go by. That I would be with other fans who'd still be interested and write and draw and create and I wouldn't be alone. Maybe I was scared of losing that so soon after I first found something so comforting. I wasn't alone though. I've made so many friends and have so many good memories and hell I made my own fan-content. I have over 200 people who liked my stupid mcyt blog enough to follow! And now that's come to pass and people and blogs who were cornerstones of my early fandom experience have gone dark or deactivated, and many of my mutuals have simply found new interests I don't share and moved on entirely or mostly. And I'm still here, and it's okay. I find it somewhat funny and ironic how my experience in fandom, in away, mirrored c!ghostboo, one of the first characters who joined alongside me really and who I payed close attention to regarding lore discourse, ended up in the Nether somewhat alone, with just the thing he loved at the end of canon.