#i'm almost sorry

[lennadanvers]

The Heartbreak Chronicles

It was awful for Eddie.

He’d always known he was a little different from everybody else. At least from everybody else in this stupid town. But to the small, enthusiast, kindergarten version of you, that was fantastic. You somehow endured his never-ending energy, and your imagination was able to stretch as much as his: to the infinite. His games weren’t complicated: to you, they were the most entertaining thing ever. He’s never known someone who understood him quite like you did. Ever. He had someone who could see the world the way he did.

And then everything came crushing down. Suddenly, he wasn’t going on quests to stay away from a house that was falling down, but to try and find it again. Surely, if he was the bravest knight in the land, his father would have to come back, right? And, after slaying dragons, finding a cure for his mother’s absence couldn’t be that hard.

Except it was.

He had moved into a moldy trailer, on the far side of town, with an uncle that didn’t quite know what to do with him. At least he was trying, which was more than he could say about his father.

But he couldn’t let you, Queen of Wonders, see the fall of Eddie the Great. Your eyes were the only place where he was still someone; not a chore, a regrettable past or a problem to solve. You looked at him and saw just him.

But it was harder and harder to be the same person he had always been when he wasn’t that Eddie anymore. He had to take a break. Sometimes he couldn’t stop crying on time to walk to your house. It was okay, you wouldn’t get mad if he didn’t show up once. His smile grew heavier and heavier, and to wear it was an effort he didn’t always have the energy to accomplish.

He gave up. Eddie figured he’d be forever frozen in your mind, in a time when things weren’t actually good, but less bad than this. You’d loved that version of him even more than he did; you had a right to keep him. He told himself you’d take care of him, maintain him alive. Eddie hoped so, because he couldn’t.

He had made a habit of running away. It was easier. Better. So he hid from you in the hallways, ignored your pleading looks (hardest thing he’d ever had to do) and tried to build a life without you.

He failed.

Miserably.

Yeah, he got new friends. His relationship with Wayne improved, they worked as a team now. His band started sounding actually good, and he found enough people to start his very own D&D club.

And it was all pointless because he didn’t have his old friend. You weren’t there to listen to his music or fix his lyrics, and you and your beautiful mind weren’t giving him show-stopping characters to use in his campaigns.

Instead, you had friends of your own- he wasn’t on that list-, who shared your table with you at lunch. You didn’t talk to him anymore- which he couldn’t blame you for: it had been years, and not everyone could be a yearning idiot like he was- or even look at him that much.

To no one’s surprise, really. Certainly not his. You were always incredibly easygoing. Empathetic, funny, honest. Smart. There probably wasn’t a single soul in Hawkins that could say they didn’t like you. It also helped that you were insanely pretty. The margins of his notebooks could attest to that, full of doodles of your eyes and profile.

So what if he wanted to have your attention a little too much? Yeah, maybe he couldn’t go back- not being the mess he was. That didn’t stop him from wanting. You didn’t have to find out how bitter he had become. How cynical, what a coward he was. If there was one thing he knew, it was how to put up an act.

So he took the liberty of crafting this character for you. A misfit who gave grand speeches to highschoolers, who didn’t care about his place in the food chain. Someone who wasn’t invited to parties but was welcome anyway. The town’s Freak. He had made a name for himself and everything. He hoped you were proud. He hoped little Eddie, back in kindergarten, would have been proud if he saw him now.

Also, he enjoyed it way too much. The chance of being this person. The curated version of himself was way more interesting than the one inside his head, that’s for sure.

You’d always been one to enjoy being on the other side. You loved reading novels and watching movies, and listening to his stories. You always had time to analyze all the references and details.

That’s why he panicked when he saw your name in the list of Hellfire.

You weren’t supposed to be there. You were supposed to watch him yell in the cafeteria, the most perfect and distant audience. To walk past him, to know he was there without looking too closely or interacting. He was a good actor, amazing, even, but an actor still. And if you got too close, you’d see the cracks. The truth festering inside him, the rotten corpse of the person he had been- the person he should be.

The only solution was for him to make sure you wouldn’t get too close. He had distanced himself once, he could do it again.

It was easier, actually.

He just had to show you how life had been without you. Eddie was going to meet you all over again, except this time you were being introduced to the character.

Hii!! I'm so happy to finally be able to post this! I love the change in povs, and I think it'll help me learn how to write more complex texts. I hope you guys like it.

On a side note, it's my birthday today! I'll celebrate with my friends, so I probably won't be here much, but I programmed this post so you wouldn't have to wait any longer <3

Masterlist

Taglist: @am0iur , @arabellagreenleaf , @stylesxmunson , @exploding-bonbon , @ainelantv

[charpeach]

Uh oh

[myszalowska]

priDEMONth pridEMOnth

[theresthesnitch]

UGH and here I was thinking we might finally have a soft wholesome mauraders era wolfstar omegaverse fic with no drama. I hate you Snitch. 5 years?! 5 YEARS of separation with no explanation?! I can’t wait to read it. I hate you. I can’t wait.

Oh, honey. Have you met me? Do I have any fics with no drama? Can I even write that?

I posted this snippet just for you. Hope you enjoy. Maybe I'll work on some fluff for you.

[slaaneshisass]

Did any one else read the green ribbon when they were a kid

[cuntyarmand]

*looking into the camera like i'm on the office*

[milanesacosmica]

I'm sorry but I'm obsessed with this.

My man is MAD looking at Viktor, frowning. And Viktor is looking at him but as soon as Jayce looks away he raises an eyebrow like BITCH WHY YOU MAD

Don't even get me started on how Viktor looks, like HOLY SHIT, while the light illuminates his fac- and the shado- and his eyes- I need to sit down.

[ariart0]

Happy Valentines ⋆˚✿˖° 💕

[canisalbus]

Today's tumblr experience.

[itzmellooo]

Lumity week day 7: Free day!!

SAVE ME PIRATE X MERMAID AU SAVE ME

[hurtingbuck]

Eddie telling Buck how he feels about him by using other people.

[lazylittledragon]

what if i broke all the bones in your legs actually

[razzberrysheep]

Don't make me be myself around you

[apricoctopus]

How to talk to short people: Faerun Edition

[space-bowl]

Ep 7 Aftermath (given the planet didn't explode yet)

Part 2

[pseudophan]

anthony is dead: the funeral roast (paid content)