#i'm alive i just have been posting on the not-sfw account for reasons

[pandemieinverse]

yeah

[mimiri22-6]

*gets exactly one post about Dream drama* Oh god now what has he done. *can't find the origins on twitter because I want my revived account to be as bare bones as possable so I'm following like no one involved* Finds the #supportdream or whatever tag. it's filled with 70 hate/30 that's my streamer. I have got little no info, only the victims story falling apart and apparently dreams a+ handling of these kinds of situations has gotten no better.

on one hand, some things don't add up. sometimes dream does know she was under 18 sometimes she lied about her age. on her twitter at least, im assuming she could have done the same in dms.

Plus, a little thing w me; I have this fucking uncanny 6th sense for shitty yters through their voices, doesn't work when their singing, I figured it out after Ry*n of Achievement Hunter did something simular to these allegations dream is getting. I have never felt uncomfortable or worried about the people around dream whenever I've heard his voice. Well, that's a lie. I can't figure out what it means, but in certain situations, his talking did put a poker in my back. It wasn't immediate or noticable most of the time, but sometimes I could feel it. It might have been because his manhunt series is very edited down and he's not actually the one to talk in them the most, and on the other side of the coin could be because I want to punt his dsmp character into the sun, not because I think/thought his character was anything like him, nah, because his friends say he's the nicest man alive. No matter what it is or how small it is, it is good to take note of every little thing just in case. I've clocked many yters like this years before any shitty actions came to light, I'd say it started all the way back w Cr*ytic. I still watched them because I didn't know my instincts were like this, but I do take note nowadays whenever I get that little shiver up my spine to RUN.

...what the fuck was I writing about? how did I get here? it's been 90 minutes.

on the other hand, uh, he doesn't seem like the type???? was that what I was going to say?? ok, maybe he isn't groomer level, but maybe it's the racism my brain is clocking. idk why but I just can not let him off the hook for the Indigenous memorial graffiti incident. for some reason it feels like it was just swept under the rug and I could have sworn I saw dream respond to it in his very braindead way he handles those sorts of things "my fans can do no harm🥰did you know I'm .8% native🤗it's so goofy and fun, I hope they vandalize another memorial for me😍" y'know, that type. or I could have just mistook his response for the spongbob yelling as a response to the memorial. either way, he is not good at the defending words thing. Like, one of the worst I've seen honestly. Just hold your fans acountable and tell them what you're uncool with upfront. Like maybe not vandalizing memorials for marginalized groups you have an ounce of blood w.

idk how this turned into my essay on dream, ig this was a long time coming for me because I just have a lot to say about this man that I just can't hold any longer. I was happy for him and his friends Finally getting that fucking visa and plane ticket less than a month ago, but I think that was more my being pissed off at the system then being super invested in these people anymore. hold tight, I'm not done overanalizing this man yet. there will be a slightly longer than avg tldr at the end tho

Dream's relationship with his fans is weird and rubs me the wrong way. He isn't strict w them, not straightforward. The only other cc I know w simular nsfw fancontent to him is Badboyhalo, and he clearly stated he's fine w seeing sfw art of him and skeppy(I keep forgetting to aquant myself with whatever drama skeppy got into to make people hate him now, I think I remember it being stupid, but I could be wrong) being buddies and pals platonic soulmates if you will, and he acknowledged that there was going to be nsfw content of him regardless, BUT it was clear he didn't want to see it, he didn't wanna stubble apon it. With recent stuff going on, not the most recent allegations, but the face reveal and the twichcon t-shirt incident, I think Dream is actually in a simular boat, but he's just so fucking bad at this saying your clearest intentions and thoughts on the matter that he's in the middleground of nearly anything other than I love my fans, please don't harrass anyone, but then not saying anything when it goes down. the only time i've seen him say anything alnong the lines more solid on these things was in the twitter space interview w i forget who and i can't find it anymore. not even in my watch history. fucking weird. anyway, I just spent a half an hou looking for it and I don't know what I was talking about anymore...oh right, his relationship w his fans needs to change if he doesn't want this shit happen to him. wether this real or not, because there is a universe where the most recent alligations are fake, the fact of the matter is that since he has such a huge following there will be people that fake something like this just to pull his career down.

on the one hand, he's ramping up in activity because of his face reveal and people looking to kick him while he's on the rise is bound to happen, on the other hand, victims speak out at those times because they don't want the abusers to do the same to someone else while in the thraw of fame and massive power.

I've lost so much of my train of thought since i started writing this so

TLDR; Her story is falling apart at places, he's not handling the sich well, like usual, he gives me the heeby geebies sometimes and, yes, that needs to be noted, this is bound to happen again and again if he doesn't set real solid boundaries with his fans On His Main Account and if he Doesn't Give His Fans A Phone Number To Freely Call And Text Him On REALLY WHY DO YOU THINK THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA-Also the indigenous disrepect is Loud and is the reason why I don't follow him on anything anymore(as far as I know, I may have missed a profile somewhere, but idk. I don't think I have, but the possability is there)

As more time goes on I get more and more uncomfortable w him, but w the other yters that turned out to suck, the reaction was instant and I had to learn to ignore it, but w him I'm learning the opposite.

anyway, im tired and im gonna do something i actually like now. fuck you bye love you be safe, uhhhhhhh, i hope he learns to not be a fucking dipshit for his friends sakes, but if he doesn't i hope his friends and dsmp members knows this is icky and dips when it gets too much. i do not care about the stans, but the fans that dream has helped through dark times in the past few years, i hope you can find it again in someone else or youre ok, uhhhh, my brain is tired and im melting, wait that's backwards oh well, uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[thelegendofj]

Not that it really matters, but for the record, I'm not a "tw*tter refugee"- I've always despised that place. I have dropped in there every now and again (but had to limit my time on there for mental health reasons because something on there would make me feel like crap literally every time. Tumblr has similar issues with certain attitudes etc. but it's still easily one of the better 'social' sites on the whole internet) and semi-successfully made an experimental account there with the specific intention of curating the HELL out of it and only 'allowing in' anything/anyone with good vibes, but... yikes, I don't think that's possible anymore, and I refuse to even slightly support musky odors in any concievable way.

I've been on Tumblr since... geez, 2011...? And only really left my main account for a while because of the NSFW ban, not that I even chose to post any to this account? I checked in on it every now and again, but It always felt way too quiet. I lost some great internet buds who left because of that ban, and my trans internet experience got exponentially worse because of it too. I'll always miss those pre-NSFW ban days, it's not been the same since. I have also still been hanging out on my less than SFW side-accounts to keep whatever I could of that former trans-validating online existence, but I made a point to distance myself from "main" tumblr because it just depressed me by that point.

I might be back a bit now. I have been for the past week or so. Largely out of spite against tw*tter and the stinky whiny babyman, but it is a bit more alive here now.

There's still some attitudes and vibes I don't fully gel with, but maybe that's a me thing. Recently realised there's like a 99% chance I've been suffering from bad ADHD my whole life, and especially the rejection-sensitive-dysphoria part of it. I don't intend to start arguments or anything like that, some things just scrape against me really bad, and I'm always aware that I hold some opinions that would be openly mocked on here if I dared mention them (nothing bigoted at all- I'm a big supporter of LGBTQ+/PoC/disabled/neurodivergent/marginalised people/*insert whoever the right hate here* etc. etc. etc.) and always will be) and that makes me really uncomfortable, but it should just be in a 'we're not all gonna think the same' way, not a 'person A doesn't think person B should be allowed to exist' kinda way.

Basically, I regularly seem to have slightly unpopular opinions because I'm a weirdo kook who's always exploring new and crazy ideas, and that makes me always feel a little on the defensive. I'm sensitive, I'm maybe over-optimistic/utopian/head in the clouds, and I'm gonna keep pushing for things to be better for everyone in whatever little way I can. I have to hold myself back like a rabid dog from getting mad at stuff online on occasion, but that's not what I wanna be, I just struggle sometimes.

This has turned from an explanation about my social media life to a weird rant about online discourse and my struggle with it, but that's just... how my brain goes sometimes.

Though both are important, I really want to focus on bringing/encouraging the good rather than just attacking the bad. I may slip sometimes, but that's my aim, anyway.

"Be excellent to each other! Party on, dudes!"

- Bill and Ted knew what was up.