#i'm agonized by the idea that this is maybe what life always is for everybody

[skwivr]

-

[misc-obeyme]

give me your barb thoughts. ive been filling your poor inbox with satan thoughts with no consideration of your own preferences </3 (not like that'll stop me though. satan content is difficult to find out here)

Oh, anon. I must say I truly don't mind receiving Satan thoughts. I'm quite fond of him, too! And really, I enjoy talking about all the characters. So please continue to send me all the thoughts you like!

Now if you really want my Barbatos thoughts... well... I've written a few essays about him at this point lol. I have so many thoughts about him all the time, it's hard to narrow it down so everything I write about him ends up being ridiculous paragraphs of text.

Though it's interesting to think how he'd feel about it if he knew some rando was out here writing a ton about him. Like imagine him coming to life and reading all my posts and fics about him. I would die an agonizing death... probably from overheating due to blushing so hard.

And although I would be supremely embarrassed, I kinda think Barbatos would be flattered, you know? I don't think he sees himself as this amazing mysterious demon that people swoon over. I think he just sees himself as a butler. And maybe he has a bit of a past where he was a little more chaotic and he knows he's powerful, but he's also just taking care of everybody all the time.

Lucifer is also powerful, but he isn't about to let anyone forget it. Diavolo is powerful, too, and he kind of has to display it due to his position.

But Barbatos? He's like I'm just a butler. Don't mind me. And then when he uses his power it's like what the-?! And most of the time he only uses it when someone asks. (Generally Diavolo.)

It's the restraint. He's like that about almost everything, including his feelings. The only thing he doesn't restrain himself from is cleaning, especially if there's a you-know-what involved.

And especially his feelings. And I love the idea that his feelings for MC are actually quite strong and deep, but MC doesn't know it unless they sort of pull it out of him. Because he's always going to step back and let others fill that place for MC before himself.

So I like the idea of MC being like, no way am I going to let you keep this all to yourself. Because I think underneath it all, Barbatos is just as passionate and romantic as every one else. Maybe even more.

Oops okay okay we're not quite at essay length but this is still kinda long lol! Thank you for asking, I'm always happy to talk about Barbatos all day every day!

[wh0lemilk0vich]

Maybe someone would like to expand on this idea I had? Eddie goes on tour for a few months and comes back to Steve considerably heavier. Steve’s way of comforting himself when Eddie isn’t there is overeating so he feels nice and sated; grounded. He holds/rubs his belly and imagines it’s Eddie because that’s what they do after Steve has a big meal, and it’s comforting. Eddie is pent up from being on tour for so long and just ravishes Steve. They have sex like 5 times that night and Steve probably cums about 10 times. Eddie brings back all these fun snacks from different states and they have a great time hehehe🥰🥵

As tubby boy with ADHD who eats when they're understimulated I can totally see this for Steve. He needs the dopamine hit of tasty food and the comfort of a full belly to get through the agonizing boredom of Eddie not being there. Like let's say this is the beginning of Eddie's career with corroded coffin and they're touring as the opening band for God I don't know Black Sabbath or Metallica or something (it's not my music genre of choice so I'm kind of useless here), and Steve knows he can't go with. He knows as fun and life changing as this is, Eddie and the boys are going to be really stressed and busy, and the van is going to be absolutely stuffed, and they have to focus on doing a good job. So he knows he can't go with, but fuck if isn't going to miss Eddie HARD. He tooootally pines for Eddie and misses the little things that he didn't know he would miss, like the bed feels so empty and it's a little cold, and he had to make himself coffee. So he tries to fill all the time with the kids and Robin and Nancy and Jonathan etc. But it always ends up being for food, or something with food available/food adjacent. He orders in because cooking feels like too much of a chore when Eddie's not there to help him get through the boring prep bits and DO NOT get him started on doing dishes, his absolute burden, his hell. But being full makes him feel dopey and happy and drowsy. Maybe he even starts indulging in a bit of Eddie's leftover weed just to change states of consciousness and get that rush.

And so former star athlete Stevie who realizes he doesn't have to be that guy anymore leans into it. There's a surprising amount of really good food around Hawkins. The first 15-30 lbs settle on him and everyone just thinks, 'awe, Steve's finally filling out a bit. Settling down.' and then it turns to 35, 40, 50. He's definitely had to update his wardrobe, though he had a pair of roomy Levi's that put up a tremendous fight, but when you start getting peae shaped with beautiful thick thighs, the the chub rub really eats away at the denim. He still has a few rugby jumpers that fit "fine," they just outline the belly and little breasts that have sprouted on him, but at least Robin helped him pick out new jeans that would best show off the beast of an ass that he's grown that even she appreciates. He just looks substantial, his face looks softer and more boyish, but importantly he looks happy and it's like a switch flips for everybody like 'oh yeah, this is how Steve should look. This makes sense. He looks really good.' And so nobody is worried like they were when Eddie left because they can tell Steve is grounded, and happy. He and Eddie talk whenever they get the chance, when Eddie can call from a pay phone or a motel.

It's been months, maybe even almost a year (I guess this is kind of silly, who tours for that long 😂 but still) when Eddie finally gets home from touring, and be bursts through the door like "Steven Middle name Harrington, you better get out here and give daddy some sugar!" And Steve pops out happy but looking bashful, lopsided smile and worried eyebrows telling two different stories. Eddie's face reveals his surprise, but he immediately leaps to give Steve the biggest hug and deepest kiss, sandwiching his face between his big, ring wearing hands. Steve's cheeks go pink and heat up because he can feel Eddie's hard-on pressing into the softness at his hip.

He pulls off and he's like

"Damn, Stevie, I missed you something fierce, but fuck me this time really seemed to agree with you," he punctuates with a chesty giggle slapping his hands to Steve's ass, feeling him up, and fixing him with a mischievous grin.

"I know, I missed you...Everyone kept taking me out to cheer me up, and the company helped, but then so did smoking your weed, and then stuffing my face. Guess I was kinda eating my feelings."

"And then some!" Eddie gently and lovingly rubs Steve's belly, still unconsciously grinding against him, unable to help himself, "It looks good. I mean really fucking good. Trying not to cream my pants right now." He's getting growly, kissing and nipping at Steve's neck, nuzzling that spot behind his ear that makes his knees weak.

"Well I guess-oh! I guess that settles that" Steve is getting hard in his jeans, and his breath hitches when he feels Eddie grab hold of and shave his belly, making Steve jump and he's just hypnotized by the jiggling.

"Damn fucking straight. But for now I need you naked so bad it hurts, Baby. I'm going to fuck you until I'm spent, feed you til you can't take anymore, then we're going to start all over again. So tell me what kind of food to order while we're at it so it's ready when we need it."

[kil-luna]

You've always liked Bakugou, ever since day one.

It was definitely weird. Your friends thought so as well. But there was something attractive about him that you couldn't pin point yourself. Maybe it was his looks. Maybe it was his complete opposite nature to yours. Maybe it was his drive.. his larger than life dream to become the number one.

And maybe his proclamations of his goal became a little bit too much that it influenced you to the point where you wanted to become the number one too. His number one.

But that doesn't really sound as easy as it is to say. You wonder how he is always so sure of himself; shouting those words over and over again at anyone who comes his way.

You knew it was pointless, so you never acted on this urge. You wanted to. But it surely wasn't easy for you, trying to hold back. But if there's anything that's easy, it was becoming his friend.

You have realized that Katsuki didn't really had friends. He might have had kids following him around when he was in pre-school up to middle school.. but those weren't really people that he could call his friends. And you're glad that now he had Kirishima and the others. Especially you. You're glad you were his friend.

Because Katsuki was a nice person to form a friendship with. Yes, he doesn’t offer the same typical kind friendship many of us are thinking about, of course, because it is Katsuki we are talking about. But he is special in his own way. He cares about yall’s grades. He will help you get high marks, even if he has to beat the lessons in your skull. He cooks for you people, even if begrudgingly. He also shouts insults to the lot of you; which, a lot of people would consider as something that's rude and terrible, but being around him long enough has made you realize that he is all bark no bite when it comes to insults. Lately, you've even wondered if it's just his way of making people realize where they suck at; so that they can improve.

You see, Katsuki cares for his friends. He loves them his own way. So you don't let it get to you when you notice that he talks to you in a softer voice than everybody else. You try not to think about it when he especially focuses on you in group study sessions. You think you're delusional when you notice that he doesn't really throw that much insults to you as he does the others. Or when he steals glances at you in class. Or when he looks for you first whenever disasters happen, wanting to make sure you are safe. Or when he hugged you tightly when you came back after recovery girl treated you after the villain attack. Or when he almost lost it when Todoroki confessed to you last week.

It drives you crazy. Because you liked Katsuki. But you were also his friend. And he has a dream; To be the number one. That didn't include you and your feelings. That dream was something he wanted since he was a child, so you knew he had no time for you.

Katsuki Bakugou doesn't have time for you. So you ran.

The moment you realized that being friends while liking him was impossible, you decided that it's best to avoid him. But Katsuki didn't exactly had the same idea as you. That's why he is in front of your room, hands in his pocket, staring right into your beautiful eyes.

"What the he— what.. is your problem?" huh? This is so out of character. You have never fancied him to be this type of guy. He certainly wasn't that person who confronts you just because you are avoiding him.

You were taking to long to answer and it was agonizing for him. "I am asking you, what did I do?"

You loathed yourself in that moment. He naturally assumed that it was his fault. He thought he did something. He thought he was the one to blame.

"It wasn't.. it wasn't you, I'm—"

"Yeah, right. You can just say you don't like me around, dumbass. It's not that hard to tell the truth." he cuts you off, preparing to leave. "You don't have to avoid shitty hair and dunce face too. I'll stop." this time, he wasn't looking at you anymore.

"It's not that! Hey, don't lea—"

"Just fucking sleep already."

"I like you!"

It was so loud you think the others who were in their room heard as well.

"Haah? Then why the fuck are you avoiding me like a plague? Last time I checked, you don't avoid people you like!"

"I know. But.. but then, it's because I thought... you didn't have time for this. And I don't think you like me anyway. So I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to bother you so I wanted to avoid you while I sort out my feelings."

"Well you are being stupid. What is there even to sort out? We both know you suck at that. You can't even fucking sort out the damn trash. I always have to do it for you! And do I have to spell it out to you too that I... do.. not hate you! Learn how to read people!"

It was funny, really. How he couldn't even tell it straight to your face that he liked you. Bakugou Katsuki liked you.

"It's.. its just that, I thought you didn't have.. time for.. wait what? So you like me too?"

"You dumbass. Are you really saying I can't handle my time properly? You think I can't do something as simple as that?!"

Turns out, it was easy for Bakugou to do these kinds of things. You didn't have to worry.

[6okuto]

Thinking about felix bottling up his emotions and just. Flat out starting to cry sometimes and mc puts down whatever they're working on to pull him into their lap. He feels so bad that hes so dependent on them right now. Hes always lowkey worried hes too much to deal with and theyll get tired of it one day. How the growing awkwardness between them only makes that feeling stronger. Like its inevitable almost. But pls tell me your hurt comfort scenario I'm all ears 👀

— felix pre-chapter 12 breakdown hcs

note from nia: teehee . every1 be nice or i will feel humiliated because i do not >:( do this format >:( :( cries. this clashes w chapter 12 a little pretend that chapter isn't real for a second. it's like chapter 12 2.0 which i didn't read before writing pFBSSBFHJ

you know how i said felix would try to do something he does regularly with magic and fails which leads him to figuring out something is wrong. yeah. i stand by that

but he's had his fair share of overexerting himself and tries to stay calm since he did...die. maybe it'll just take a little longer this time

but it's been almost a week, too long, and he's getting antsy. so he tries again, something smaller this time

you hear him mutter a quiet "what?" and you turn and ask what's wrong

"i—i can't...it's not working i don't understand what's happening i—" his breathing quickens and he turns to you. he looks confused and so...scared

so you get books. and you keep getting books to read while felix continues attempting different spells and usual fixes that he does

but he gets more and more frustrated and everybody could tell

especially when sage would try to tease him and all felix could do was send a glare. until the day he took it a little too far and felix looked over, telling him to just "shut up already"

it gets awkward. because you all understand why he's so upset but you can't...do anything. just keep trying. keep watching him and making sure he eats and rests, pulling him along to take a bath then sleep, promising to bookmark his pages before joining him. even when the silences that fall between you feel heavy and you feel out of sync

but everything suppressed is bound to explode eventually

looking back, felix is glad at least it was just you two in the room

you had been cooped up in the study for a couple of hours (shorter than usual) when felix speaks

"i think we should stop."

"what? oh it is pretty late, um...you can get ready to sleep then, i'll pack things up. do you want to come back tomorrow afternoon or so? i think we can take at least the morning off."

"no." "...what?" "i said no, mc. i can't—" he lets out a deep sigh and runs his hands over his face, aggravated "—i can't do this anymore. i can't keep searching endlessly for a hint at what's happening to me. i look in the mirror and i see this mark on my chest and it's agonizing and i just...can't."

even now he's hyperaware of the growing symbol, the tingling sensation a constant on his skin

"we'll figure it out. you'll get your magic back soon—"

he'll get it back. it isn't permanent. it'll come back soon. soon, soon—it's all felix has heard and repeated since the first day but

"what if i don't get it back? then what? who am i if not a necromancer? what can i do for the starsworn without my abilities? read? i'm not anisa or sage, magic is—was," his voice strains, "my life. i just—i can't lose it. especially not to some damned god,"

there's spite in his voice as he shuts the book in front of him

he had replayed the moment it scratched him over and over, thinking about what he could have done differently

"if i had just been stronger or faster it wouldn't have gotten me. i would have recovered. i wouldn't be here every night. i'd be able to do the simplest spells that escape me now. i'd be able to look in the mirror without feeling pathetic, bottomless despair. i'm useless."

you reject the last idea immediately (as you should)

but all of his emotions and insecurities are spilling out of him and he can't seem to stop them

"felix you are nowhere near being useless—"

"yes i am. look at me, mc. i—" he raises his arms for a moment only to drop them again. "i can't do anything. if we were attacked right now no one would be able to depend on me. at least not like they could a few weeks ago. i'm a sitting duck just waiting to be shot."

"and you," his voice wavers, tears threatening to spill, "you have to deal with it. with me. you've been dealing with me, for days and days. brought me food, run baths, read even when i got tired, watched me wallow in self-pity. and you shouldn't have had to, mc. it isn't fair."

his voice cracks at the end, and his body is curled in on itself when you first hear him sniffle and finally, finally start crying.

you feel stuck in place as you watch his breathing quicken and body shake. you wonder just how hard he's had to stop himself from doing this any earlier, or if he already has in his time alone

and you know some people don't like being approached when they're crying or breaking down. but he trusts you, the same way he always has

so you take his hands away from his face, wiping away his tears and gently holding his face so he has to look at you

there's an odd mixture of defeat and pain in his eyes

it's all tumbled down now, and what's left is pained vulnerability when he says "i'm sorry. i'm so sorry."

his apologies turn more incoherent as he grabs you and presses his face into your chest

all you can do is hug him tighter and run your fingers through his hair, pressing a kiss to his head every once in a while promising him that "it's okay, i'm here. i'll always be here."

he only cries harder at your reassurances, his guilt and appreciation fighting to overwhelm him. so you tell him "i'm sorry...that you have to go through this. you don't deserve it, felix. and if i could give you my own magic i would, you know? i'm so sorry. i'm here now, promise."

and you continue to remind him that he's still him past the magic and necromancy. that "i'm not going to say that your magic wasn't a big part of you it—it was...is. but i never felt like i had to deal with you not having it."

you didn't fall for him just because of his powers, but because of his kindness and the way he made you laugh, the time he spent helping you, the nights you'd spend just talking to each other, his interests that you embraced and were always intrigued by, the way he would light up when you asked about the novel he was reading,

he clutches your body tighter because even if magic evades him, you're here. you're still here and you're warm and kind and everything he didn't think he deserved. you're here listing reasons to love him, running your hand up and down his back, and he doesn't know what he would have done if you weren't

[z-iridest]

(A/N: Okay! I'm aware of what time it is, but I can't help it! I got a cute idea for a one shot, this time for our baby cinnamon roll, Izuku Midoriya! With that in mind, I give you....: )

Well, your night was going well.....

Stood up by yet another date, you were bitterly gulping down the carbonated substance in the glass in front of you. You looked down at the tattoo on the inside your wrist, the tattoo that had been there since your 15th birthday. Just when you thought you would meet your soulmate on the blind dates Mina set up for you, you were stood up by each one. The tattoo itself was a timer, counting down the years, months, days, hours, minutes and exact seconds that you would meet your soulmate. It had shown up with mere months to go, but now?

It tauntingly read: 7 minutes, 15 seconds and counting.

You let out the biggest sigh of your life as you put your chin in your palm, watching the couples on the dancefloor with a scowl of envy. You wished your soulmate would just pop up... You'd give anything for this agonizing wait to finally be over... You finished off the soda, glancing at your wrist every now and then. Just as that timer hit 2 minutes, 30 seconds and counting, a pounding beat started, causing you to perk up. You knew this song...

Ladies and gentlemen, we've got a special treat for tonight

I'm gonna call my friend Olly up here to sing to you ladies

Olly!

Let's go, man

You closed your eyes, the scowl replaced with an easy smile. Your head bopped along to the beat, failing to notice that the timer on your inner wrist had hit only 1 minute and 42 seconds to go the same instant a classmate of yours walked in, the male's green eyes instantly landing on you.

My name is Olly, nice to meet you can I tell you, baby

Look around there's a whole lot of pretty ladies

But not like you, you shine so bright, yeah

I was wondering if you and me could spend a minute

On the floor up and close getting lost in it

I won't give up without a fight

To say that he was nervous the second he saw you was an understatement. He had always thought you were absolutely beautiful, but he had never gotten the courage to talk to you in class... You didn't even know his name, having only been hanging around the girls with what was, so far, the whole school year at U.A. He glanced down and the inside of his wrist and his heart came crashing to a halt. The soulmate timer was gone! He nearly died then and there. Were you his soulmate? Oh, boy, did he hope so... He gulped. Okay, no big deal, Izuku. You've dealt with ruthless villains, some more monstrous than others... Asking her to dance should be no problem! He attempted to give himself a mental pep talk, but it only made him want to run from the situation. However, his body betrayed him before he could even think about setting one foot back out the door, his feet leading him straight to you.

I just wanna, oh baby

I just want you to dance with me tonight

So come on, oh baby

I just want you to dance with me tonight

You felt a light tap on your shoulder, your eyes opening as you turned around, your e/c eyes meeting a pair of emerald green ones. You blinked, recognizing the fluffy green hair. Izuku gulped the second your eyes met his. It wasn't helping that you were beautiful, but that look just then? "H-Hi, um... I-I'm so sorry to bother you, b-but... I-I was w-wondering... I-if y-you... m-maybe... w-wanted to... d-dance w-with m-me?" It was honestly a miracle the poor boy could even get a understandable word out considering how much he was stuttering. He watched as a blush crossed your own face before you nodded.

"I-I'd love too... B-But... I-I don't know how to d-dance." Your cheeks flushed darker in embarrassment as you stuttered out a confession that you had no idea how to dance with a partner. Dancing alone? You could handle no problem thanks to Mina, but with a partner? Forget it. An adoring smile crossed Izuku's face.

"I-If you want, I-I could teach you." He stutter out in response before holding out his scar littered hand to you. You looked up at him before taking his hand. You didn't fail to notice just how tenderly he held your hand, or how perfectly your hand fit in his own as he gently helped you stand before walking with you to the dance floor.

We're getting sweaty, hot and heavy in the crowd now

Loosen up and let your hands go down, down

Go with it girl, yeah just close your eyes, yeah

I feel the music moving through your body

Looking at you I can tell you want me

Don't stop keep moving till the morning light, yeah

Izuku stopped with you in the middle of the dancefloor, still holding your hand. He was so damn thankful in that moment that his mother had taught him how to dance in his childhood years, that he remembered all the moves. He took your free hand and placed it on his shoulder before wrapping his arm around your waist, pulling you into him. "Follow my lead." He told you softly, his eyes not leaving yours as he led you into the dance. Your eyes, however, stayed on your feet. You followed his lead, keeping your eyes on your feet to make sure you wouldn't step on his feet accidentally. You both moved to the beat, however, you weren't exactly trusting yourself at the moment.

When I saw you there

Sitting all alone in the dark

Acting like you didn't have a care

I knew right then, you'd be mine

We'd be dancing the whole damn night, like

Oh baby, I just want you to dance with me tonight

So come on, oh baby

I just want you to dance with me tonight

Izuku noticed it and let go of your hand for a quick moment to make you look up at him. "Trust me." He whispered to you before retaking your hand, effortlessly continuing to dance with you. His green eyes never left yours, and somehow, you found yourself unable to look away from him this time. Your feet still moved in time to the song with his, and a smile started crossing both your faces as you danced together.

Break it down now (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

Shake it like that (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

Now bring it all back

To dance with me tonight

One more time, one more time, come on now

(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

Do your thing (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

Everybody sing

I just want you to dance with me tonight (come on)

I just wanna, oh baby

I just want you to dance with me tonight

A giggle escaped your lips as he spun you a couple times before pulling you back into him, placing his forehead against yours as your bodies kept in time with the music. Both of you were smiling brightly as you two danced, not a care in the world.

Everybody, everybody, come on now

Pretty girl, just close your eyes

We can dance all through the night

I just want you to dance with me tonight

And everybody sing

Pretty girl, just close your eyes

We can dance all through the night

I just want you to dance with me tonight

So come on

Pretty girl, just close your eyes

We can dance all through the night

I just want you to dance with me tonight

Laughter bubbled out of you as he dipped you just as the song hit its last notes, your arms wrapped around his neck as his were around your waist. The crowd around you began to clap, both of you blushing scarlet red as soon as the two of you realized that you two had had an audience the whole time. He pulled you back up, holding you close to him as a slower song began to play. His green eyes held a tender look as he held you close, his arms staying around you as he started to sway with you, not that either of you were paying attention to the new song. Both of you had what you'd been missing your whole lives.

Your soulmate....

Maybe your night hadn't been so great to start with, but it sure ended on a sweet note...

Fin

[warriorgays]

I'm going to ask the most broad and annoying question so forgive me, but what happened to everyone after Through the Gay Days ended? I have never been more invested in a group of characters in my life and I desperately want them all to be happy, whatever form that takes, in the end. Also! what other sources did you draw from besides Coming Out Under Fire? I was so impressed with how well researched everything was. 💖

OH MAN I didn’t expect to actually get a question, lol!! And that’s one I’m happy to answer, because I did think a lot about it. idk if I’m ever going to actually write a follow up, because my WIP list is soooo long and, tbh, the 50s are SO DEPRESSING in terms of LGBT stuff.

IT TOOK ME AN HOUR TO WRITE THIS UP. I APOLOGIZE. UNDER A CUT BECAUSE HOLY FUCK. I apologize for any typos but I’m just publishing instead of proofreading because what the fuck.

In terms of sources... I really think Coming Out Under Fire was the main “intentional” one. I have a BA in history and I’m getting my MA right now, so I’ve READ a lot of history and probably unconsciously drew on a lot. the other one I can definitely think of is Odd Girls and Twilight Lovers, by Lillian Faderman, which covers lesbian U.S. history from the early 1900s to the 1980s. she draws on COUF for her 40s chapter (which is kind of a bummer because I was hoping for more WWII lesbian-specific content lol), but she’s good at covering some of the broad-strokes history of sexuality and LGBTQ identity. Becoming Visible by Molly McGarry is a really cool illustrated history, too, I’ve read that a few times over the years.

SO, for post-war lives, I’m going to warn you real quick it does get depressing for everybody for a little bit because uhhh the 50s fucking sucked? Faderman talks about this a lot, and actually Stephanie Coontz is a good source too--she has this book titled The Way We Never Were, which basically debunks the idea of “the ~traditional~ family” and looks at the ways our perceptions of society’s values have changed. and one thing she points out is that the 1950s are really the first time when society looks at single men--all single men--and thinks “there must be something WRONG with them.” before that, people were willing to accept that some dudes just didn’t want to get married, for plenty of reasons that had nothing to do with homosexuality, but in the 50s everyone was so gungho about The Family that anyone not into it was looked at with suspicion. add that to the whole “homosexuals are susceptible to Communist blackmail, better fire them all” and things fucking sucked.

I PROMISE HAPPY ENDINGS, THOUGH, because the whole “LGBTQ people lived depressing lives until these Enlightened Times” trope is my least favorite trope ever.

SO, for Gene Roe, my first thought for his post-war life was this Gaslight Anthem lyric that @antiquecompass prompted me for a Snafu/Roe fic foreverrrrrr again: “I’m in love with the way you’re in love with the night.” so I imagine that Snafu comes home, and they try to just settle into things as usual, but Snafu starts really pushing Gene’s buttons. being more snide, being disrespectfully obvious about being nonmonogamous (like it’s one thing to go cruising and another to bring dudes home to the apartment you’re sharing with your boyfriend, COME ON MAN), trying to pick fights. and of course the impetus for all this is Snafu struggling with PTSD and thinking that Gene is too good for him but not being able to end it himself. of course Gene doesn’t put up with this bs, so one day Snafu finally admits he’s doing this because he’s afraid the war turned him into kind of a fucked up asshole, and Gene’s like “you were always a fucked up asshole? what’s your point? I love you?”

so then things kinda simmer down. Gene’s not Officially a doctor anymore, but he and Snafu live in an apartment building in the poorer part of the city with a lot of ~ethnic~ folk nearby some black neighborhoods, so he does some informal community doctoring around those buildings, and that earns him enough goodwill that he and Snafu don’t really have to worry about getting caught out. it’s the kind of neighborhood where a lot of people have to... bend the law a bit to get by, to be happy, whatever, so people trade food and skills as needed and there’s always an alert if the cops are coming by. it’s a good place for them. they’re happy. I’ve only really thought ahead like ~ten years, but I can imagine them eventually moving on when the community moves on, you know, whether to another city or somewhere a little more rural, depending, and that being okay. and I think, with Gene’s influence, and seeing how strong the ties are between the Pansies with Parachutes(TM), Snafu is able to reach out to Sledge and Burgie and the rest more than irl/show canon.

Babe and Spina are the other two that totally make it, soulmates, heartbreakingly cute. but I promised a little heartbreaking, so basically my idea is that they actually move in together a little while after the war, but at some point Babe’s mom realizes what’s up and... does not take it well. gives him an ultimatum, break up with Ralph or she won’t let him near the family, which Babe finds agonizing because he’s really close with his family but Ralph doesn’t have very many relatives, at least not close by (in this verse at least), and even if he could bring himself to break up with Ralph, at this point he doesn’t think his mom will ever treat him the same anyway.

in my head there’s a really sweet scene when Ralph finds out what happens and a lot of hugging and comforting. but yeah. that briefly sucks. what DOESN’T suck is when Babe decides, after a few months, that he has to tell Bill (because Bill has gotten so close to the Heffrons that of course he notices when Babe suddenly isn’t speaking to them), and Bill proves himself to be a total Bro who decides that, well, the typical idea of a homosexual CLEARLY doesn’t fit Babe and Spina so... it’s all good? like c’mon they went through a war together, that’s worth something, right?

I think eventually Babe and Spina move, too. not super far, just maybe to, idk, New York, Pittsburgh, Baltimore, somewhere they can visit everyone but maybe far enough to put some distance between them and bad memories, and also because South Philly is small when your family isn’t speaking to you, you know? possibly they end up in the same city as Luz and Tipper (see next), I’m not 100% sure but I’m vaguely attracted to the idea of everybody ending up on a commune, lol.

so I think I’m probably meanest to Luz, because I imagine him getting arrested at some point. sorry, boo. his reaction is to pay the fine and slink out, and get out of dodge for a while to avoid his family getting any blowback, and he ends up visiting Tipper, who’s really frustrated (which I alluded to a bit at the end of Through the Gay Days) because he just doesn’t click with his old friends as much and he hasn’t had a lot of luck romantically. and again I have this clear scene in my head of Tipper helping Luz dress in drag for the first time, lots of giggling and teasing, but Tipper doesn’t really do drag anymore because he can’t keep his balance in heels, and they end up talking about their frustrations and venting and whatnot. and eventually Luz is like “you know what? fuck it! run away with me!”

and Tipper’s like “fuck it, let’s do it!” so they just kind of live a semi-nomadic life? idk, maybe not really nomadic, but they get jobs that let them move/travel, so they don’t have the pressure of expectations. I’m on the fence about whether they do this as lovers... I would say not, like, REALLY. like possibly a friends with benefits thing (and I’ll point out that Luz is one of the only other named characters who interacts with Tipper, other than Liebgott, because Tipper’s in charge of the map during the Major Horton scene, so that chemistry could totally work). because they’re, like, the two from the fic whose relationships don’t end up going anywhere, and I don’t want them to pine after the Joes forever, and they don’t, but sometimes people just don’t find their soulmates, it happens, and they can at least make each other happy.

this is one of those verses where I’ve decided Liebgott gets to keep his wife-and-kids dream. I do think he’s gay in this verse, and when he gets engaged he writes a letter to Tipper basically seeking closure, admitting he dealt with things in kind of a shitty way and admitting it might be nice to have a Gay Posse, but he also takes his marriage seriously even if it’s not a love match, and doesn’t seek romantic or sexual encounters with men. idk if Joe Toye actually gets married in this verse, but I don’t see him as gay. if we were to retroactively apply the Kinsey scale, I’d say he’d be a 1 or a 2, in which the situational aspect of war kind of pushed him towards interactions that he may have subconsciously desired, but definitely wouldn’t acknowledge in a normal time and place.

as for Chuck! I kind of like the future I give Chuck, partly because he conveniently is from the LA area. so for him, I imagine that at some point Ron Speirs just kind of shows up on his doorstep one day and they become, like, an actual Thing. and it’s good for a couple of years, but Ron seems... restless. and eventually Chuck sits him down and flat-out says “look, I really don’t think you’re cut out for this settled-down long-term-relationship kind of thing. we had a good run, we can part on good terms, but you can travel and have adventures and do all the stuff you want to do.” and then, correctly, points out that one of the reasons Speirs is so reluctant to do that is because he feels guilty for Chuck getting shot, which doesn’t really make any sense. Chuck’s only request is that Ron NOT GO BACK INTO THE ARMY, because fuck Korea, have you heard how many gay soldiers are getting kicked out of the military nowadays? Speirs agrees and they break up amicably.

(is Chuck still in love with him? yes. does it hurt like a motherfucker? yes.)

ANYWAY. the L.A. is where the Mattachine Society, the first official homosexual organization in the country, was founded in 1948... or maybe 49. I forget. the founder started asking around a while before he found people who were actually willing to join up. I figure Chuck eventually joins up and is the first of the Pansies with Parachutes(TM) to really develop a political gay identity. and through that org he eventually meets Beth, a lesbian who’s just broken up with her gf and is kind of panicking because now she might have to leave her apartment and go back to her parents in Nebraska, and they become fast friends and fuck it, why not get married? it’s good cover, and I could have also gotten a chance to talk about the working class lesbian bar scene in the 1950s, which is a cool topic.

if this were a formal fic, I would end it with 1952, when the entire group reunites in honor of the 10-year anniversary of them meeting at Toccoa. since it’s not, suffice to say they do have all-group reunions, and they also visit each other and call and write letters and stay friends 5ever. at some point Babe and Spina have a not-wedding (there’s a picture of a wedding in the 50s with two grooms in flower crowns in Becoming Visible, I love that picture) and they all come and celebrate. OH and at some point between Luz getting arrested and meeting with Tipper, he definitely visits Gene in Louisiana and they make out a bit. because, tbh, I caught a bit of UST in Through the Gay Days--I don’t know if it’s a ship I’d ship in any other verse, lol, but in this verse I feel like they need to make out.

anyway. eventually the 50s end. I want to say that by the time Stonewall happens, either Tipper&Luz or Babe/Spina (both??) are living in NYC and for three days everyone is frantically calling each other going “DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS???” and Chuck becomes totally into the California gay scene, and Babe’s nieces and nephews eventually reach out to him, Tipper and Luz either... idk, become real boyfriends or get hot younger boyfriends and become Wise Gay Dads to the younger crowd. Snafu and Gene grow old together, as hard as it is to imagine old Snafu.

EVERYBODY IS HAPPY AND FRIENDS AND GAY, THE END.