#i'm actually in my dream industry now and this is real and it's not just a dream anymore and- hnghjsdjhdfsfdsf

[lepakonpaska]

good evening i got an apprenticeship at an explicitly queer friendly and punk tattoo studio with a view of the sea within a 20 minute walking distance of my home and have been unable to focus on anything all day because this feels like a dream and i really don't want to wake up from it

[chaostudee]

smooth operator , carlos sainz.

summary : y/n is a journalist just starting out her career in the motorsport industry, it's not long for her to find an attraction to a certain ferrari driver. warnings : none faceclaim : lissie mackintosh a/n : first carlos fic 🤭 my fav forever and ever.

y/nusername first day on the job 🏁🏎

liked by skysportsf1, nataliepinkham, crofty and 56,910 others.

nataliepinkham so proud of you !!

y/nusername ❤️

user829 eeek my fav

username000 the fit ateeee

skysportsf1 welcome to the family :)

y/nfan insanely proud of you wtfff can't wait for the futureee

f1updates i love her already she seems like the sweetest

user_f1 fr 😩

y/nusername quali day 🤭

》 y/bsfusername the fit ateee

》 user82 i love your interview style smmm

》 username_20 she is so prettyyyy

carlossainz great quali let's push for tomorrow 💪

liked by y/nusername, scuderiaferrari, charlesleclerc and 1,293,100 others.

user290 he's so lana del rey vinyl 😩

f1fan_67 dyingggg

f1username that quali was insaneeee

user92 frrr like wdym charles and carlos on the front row tf?!

y/nfan help not y/n in the liked is carlos the f1 driver she has a crush on????

user200 if it is.....she's so real and i get it plus i love her even more.

naomischiff my girl <3

liked by y/nusername, carlossainz , nataliepinkham and 120,622 others.

y/nusername my fav actually

user120 new duo and i'm here for it 🙌🙌

f1fan my biggest inspirations acc

y/nlover carlos in the likes (i just know that y/n is dying rn)

user10 girl look at her twitter 😭😭 y/nlover help plsss

y/nusername new video incoming

》 user92 UM YES

》 username11 oh im so ready

》 f1fan one more person closer to carlos ☝️

》 y/nusername i like your thinking ;)

y/nusername hot lap with nico hulkenberg, you can watch now on skysportsf1 !!

liked by nicohulkenberg, skysportsf1, naomischiff and 322,671 others.

user89 this ate

danielriccardo NICO HUUULKENBERGGGG

y/nusername DANIEELLLLL RICCARDOOOO

nicohulkenberg had the best time thanks y/n !!

f1fan not y/n just casually interacting with all the f1 drivers (love that for you queen)

f1wagupdates my queen pls i love her smmm

justaninchident i love this duo smm

y/nusername singapore gp !!

liked by carlossainz, skysportsf1, nataliepinkham and 267,233 others.

user SHES SO HOT OMG

f1fan my fav f1 girl likeeee my queen my iconnn my everything

skysportsf1 WE LOVE YOU Y/N

justaninchident help they are just like us 😭

user_67 y/n needs to make a fashion inspo acc at this point because i'm obsessed with everything she wears.

f1lover_90 i love y/n more than myself atp

scuderiaferrari interview of carlos and charles with y/n out now !!

liked by charlesleclerc, carlossainz, y/nusername and 1,897,332 others.

justaninchident WHAT IN THE MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS IS THIS

user literally cause i'm not okay acc

user718 did anyone else see the way carlos looked at y/n because....DAMMMMNN

y/nusername the best time :)

f1fan oh to be y/n

user101 y/n and carlos content eeeeek (real ones have been waiting months for this)

f1lover_67 thank u ferrari we all say in unison.

y/nusername if you can dream it, you can do it

liked by carlossainz, scuderiaferrari, alexandrasaintmleux and 569,000 others.

carlossainz you look good in red ❤️

y/nusername ty !! user20 wtffff omggg username_22 BRO WHAT f1fan UM so this is insane 😃

justaninchident god she's gorgeous

alexandrasaintmleux you are literally my fashion inspo

user "everyone's a ferrari fan"

alexandrasaintmleux

》 y/nusername had the best time meeting you <3

》 user omgggg

》 f1fan ferrari wags??

》 user_89 freaking tf outtttt

y/nusername in my lover girl era 💗

liked by f1, naomischiff, alexandrasaintmleux and 714,910 others.

user omg whatttt

f1fan is that carlos or am i delulu?!?!

justaninchident NO BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT I WAS THINKING

user_67 IM FREAKING OUT

f1fan our girl is officially ofc the market omgg

user190 no wonder she hasn't been active on twitter recently

naomischiff so happy for you my sweet girl <3

alexandrasaintmleux 💗

carlossainz

》 y/nusername ugh you're so hottt

》 user omlll

》 f1fan wow.

》 justaninchident god damnnnn

y/nusername guess the cat is out of the bag ;)

liked by carlossainz, landonorris, alexandrasaintmleux and 980,901 others.

user819 WHAT WHAT WHAT

justaninchident i died

user_67 SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP

f1fan girlie literally manifested it SHOW ME YOUR WAYS Y/N PLS

y/nusername crystals

f1wagupdates eeeek

landonorris my man has been stolen from me

y/nusername im sorryyy but we can share landonorris okay fair but remember HE WAS MINE FIRST

carlossainz ilysm beautiful

y/nusername i love you more handsome

carlossainz dinner date with my girl ❤️

liked by y/nusername, charlesleclerc, landonorris and 2,719,469 others.

y/nusername you always take the best pics of me 🤭

carlossainz it's hard to take a bad one when you look beautiful all the time

charlesleclerc el matador el matador

y/nusername CARLOS SAINZ

landonorris cute ig

user718 ugh i acc love them

justaninchident LIKE WDYM I LIVE IN A UNIVERSE WHERE CARLOS AND Y/N ARE TOGETHER

f1fan fav f1 driver fav wag

user10 never getting over them acc

user_67 im so single

taglist ⭑.ᐟ

@lottalove4evelyn

@llando4norris

@hadidsworld

@mxryxmfooty

[alexanderwales]

When I was a teenager I thought we were going to have robots everywhere, like the future was going to be the Jetsons, tiny robots and big robots that would just do everything. Most of this was not reading scifi, it was reading Hans Moravec and Ray Kurzweil.

And robots do have their place, but it's mostly as highly specialized machines doing jobs that are either highly repetitive or very bespoke but programmable. Everything else?

The dream is to have something that can replace a human, a humaniform robot that can just slot right into the spot a human once occupied, serving drinks or caring for the elderly, and I just have so much trouble taking the idea seriously now. Maybe it's because I've spent time in the software industry and have seen how errors and issues accumulate, and how many damned corner case you need to account for even if you're in a walled garden. But the idea of actually being able to get to the point where these things are fulfilling the promises made about them still seems laughable, and we're closer than we've ever been.

Last year Amazon began doing a trial of Digit, one of these vaguely human robots, and I cannot tell how much this is a stunt and how much this is actually useful and cost-effective. Knowing how companies work, there is every incentive for the robot-makers to "trial" their product in very limited capacity at very unsustainable costs, maybe even free, which is then used for "exposure" in order to hype the market and ideally get some funding to make the thing actually work, or work within costs, or give the devs and engineers some time to work out the bugs. I don't think any robot company owes me a look at their finances or the parameters of their deals, but it sure would be nice if every single article about this weren't a puff piece written exactly how I would expect both companies want it written.

And Boston Dynamics has Spot deployed, but reading their press releases makes me cringe from the corpospeak, and I'm still left questioning how much this is "real" and how much it's a gimmick meant to fund future investment. It's entirely possible I'm just a curmudgeon, but it feels like everyone has something to sell, and the market for someone saying "this is actually just non-viable at these costs" is very small.

The early 2000s optimism has turned me into such a cynic where technology is concerned. I need to go crack my copy of The Singularity is Near and see what, at 18, I thought the future was going to be like. My stance, until I actually see something that's not a carefully staged press demonstration, is that this particular bit of "the future" has more catches, costs, and problems than it wants to show the public.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Thailand is back in charge

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

June 2024 Week 2

Ongoing Series - Thai

Wandee Goodday (Sat YT) ep 7 of 12 - There is so much to love about this pair. But one of the things I truly adore is what great communicators they are about what they want & need as friends & as lovers. As boyfriends? Not so much. But the way they can (and do and did) communicate speaks well to their ability to communicate in the future, once they have resolved the inevitable doom the BL gods will reign down upon us over the next 3-4 eps. I guess what I am say is... these two are gonna be awesome husbands.

The break up was sad but inevitable.

Yay for a crying kiss. I do so love a crying kiss! 

Can we talk about the fact that all that tension was worth it?

Excellent kiss all round from GreatInn. Possibly one of the best of the year. Their only issue in winning this category in 2024 is that they're up against OffGun, TayNew, and JimmySea, not to mention BillyBabe... and MosBank coming soon. But I gotta say, for a new pair? Fantastic work boys.

My Stand-In (Fri iQIYI) ep 8 of 12 - I literally spent this whole show saying “Oh, Poor Joe!” Which is now the actual name of his character: Poor Joe. He's like the country music sad sack. How much is this narrative gonna keep kicking him while he's down?  

Sunset X Vibes (Sat iQIYI) ep 1 of 12 - Star Hunter + MosBank + a beloved familiar face? You ready? Let's go. I got a lot to say.

Unexpected supernatural historical paranormal mythological Sign-esk elements happening in our dream sequence opening. I’m not mad about it. But I do think it’s going to be mishandled in the dubious hands of Star Hunter. My BLabies, no matter what else, with Star Hunter we can rest assured there will be chaos and narrative mess. And now, lucky us, there will be a supernatural mess. But at least it will be sexy and high heat.

Honestly, I'm not worried about MosBank and I know what to expect from Star Hunter,. So we're all on the same page.

Meanwhile, enter a cute side couple (normal for this studio). WAIT a second I know that face! That's Tenon of PitchBank fame (side couple, and only good thing about, Golden Blood). I’m sad to see his pair busted, but delighted to see him pop up again in a BL.

Tenon appreciation time: He kisses beautifully everyone, and he is a killer eye-emoter. We are in for a real treat with this actor. (Especially if we get to a place in the narrative where he pines. OH PLEASE MAKE HIM PINE.)

Okay back to the show. I love Tenon but I also LOVE his infiltrating, wicked smart, younger brother character. This role is great for him. I adore an industrial spy. I enjoy a rich boy pretending to be an intern in his family's company (yes it's a trope, just not common in BL). Excellent work Thailand. No notes.

In conclusion?

It’s a cheesy silly office BL and I am enjoying it immensely because I have no expectations. So don't burst my bubble. Star Hunter is bound to do that on its own without tumblr's help.

We Are Cute (Weds iQIYI) ep 11 of 16 - Oh my God they are all so cute! I love the beginning bit when Peem was feeling down and Phum tried to cheer him up. Ridiculously charming. All the sides were super adorbs too. The actual name of this show is "We Are Cute". Meanwhile, Kluen = the only boy in a BL ever to take his unfinished drink with him? I like him even more now. 

My Love Mix-Up Th (Fri YT) ep 2 of 12 - New take on the umbrella trope to be trapped under a parasol together. NO SINGING. Honestly? I am not loving this as much as I really wanted to love it. It's the middle of the rankings for good reason. I do like the idea of historical Cinderfella BL though. Why isn't that what I'm watching? The play with in a play is a dangerous trope to deploy, it only distracts my with attractive possibilities. 

Love Sea (Sun iQIYI) ep 2 of 10 - I'm gonna try to cycle back to ending this rap-up week on Saturdays, which means the recap for this episode will be in next week's weekly (so to speak). Meanwhile, I am doing a Trash watch on this show. Hopefully that will get updated tomorrow.

Knock Knock Boys (Thurs Gaga) ep 4 of 12 - It’s fun enough. Kind of a pulpy lark. Best + Seng = a surprisingly good match.

Only Boo! (Sun YT) ep 10 of 12 - Good kiss from the sides. No surprises there. The main’s kissing was fine too, I guess. I like that they had a genuine struggle with being an idol and not being able to date. It’s nice to see that depicted on screen in a BL. I wish we had a bit more of a montage around the rise & success of Moo's boy group. But I understand the money in play for this kind of show prohibits that. All in all? It’s fine. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

At 25:00 in Akasaka AKA 25 Ji Akasaka de (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 9 of 10 - Oof. This ep was painful. So much awkward desperation and confusion. Oh Japan, must you?

Crazy to be in a place and time where there is no other noted non-Thai BLs airing. Not even from Korea. What is going on? Are we in 2020 all over again? Please no.

It's airing but...

The Last Time (Thai Fri YT?) - Convoluted story of loss and possible reincarnation or something. Can't find it.

OMG Vampire (Thai Sun ???) 10 eps - I can't find it. Comments from last week suggest this is not my thing anyway, but Lee Long Shi very much IS my thing. I've put the search on hold for a bit and y'all can let me know if it's worth tracking down. Also, who knew Frank & Big could kiss like that? Not me.

ARGH could Monster Next Door please just start airing. I am SO tired of waiting for Big to lead out a BL. It should have happened years ago. *grumbles in chronic second lead syndrome*

In case you missed it

Let's Eat Together Aki and Haru 2 AKA Aki wa Haru to Gohan wo Tabetai 2 Haime! (Japan movie) - Continues the (frankly) lackadaisical story from part 1 ans was meant to drop yesterday. We thought maybe Gaga, but nothing so far.

The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer released to Korean theaters 5/25. HoTae & DongHee, side couple from Unintentional Love Story are back! Same actors, same character names. I love them. Devastated this hasn't had international distribution.

As others see us: NuNew's 'Awful' Performance in BABYMONSTER's 'SHEESH' Goes Viral - I don't like BL being noticed by Kpop stans. I flipping LOATHE this song and I'm not wild about Babym. This is all 'round uncomfortable making and I want it to stop.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

June Releases Still Coming

6/26 The Rebound (Thai Weds Gaga) - MeenPing are back in their 3rd BL together, a basketball based romance (Meen was a national basketball player, so yay for that). I like this pair better than most (I still do miss Meen with Est but Est has a fantastic looking new BL coming from GMMTV so yeah...) Anyway I'm up for a sports romance starring a man who, yah know, actually played that sport so... I'm game (pun intended).

6/26 I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) 10 eps - A new series adaptation of beloved yaoi I Hear the Sunspot (first adaptation was feature film Silhouette of Your Voice 2017).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Forget "boyfriends but they don't realize it." These two are married but they don't realize it.

Praise be, he didn't leave his full drink behind. BEST BOY.

It was a great make out sesh.

THAT LIP BITE.

All round excellent ep this week, We Are Cuties.

Top tier flirting banker from the fuck buddies though. Man, their innuendo is on point. And I do mean that point. (Wandee Goodday)

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity

@rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in it's infinite wisdom doesn't like too many tags.

There's these tricks, remember.

[bby-bo]

When The Boss Comes Knocking

the following is a CEO!Sakusa fic that landed somewhere between sfw and sorta nsfw, but its kiyoomi and he just makes my brain go buzz in every situation so i just couldn’t help it 

Part 2

Summary: You dated Sakusa in high school but went your separate ways after graduation. Turns out he missed you much more than he let on. 

Warnings: none, just kiyoomi being hot. use of “sweetheart” and “baby”

Sakusa Kiyoomi always has been and will always be the man of your dreams. Tall and broad shouldered, even in his high school years he was the pinnacle of your existence, and all you wanted was to be near him. Your wishes were granted for only a brief period of time when you finally dated in your junior year, but your Kiyoomi was ripped away from you when his family decided he needed to start preparing to take over the business.

The Sakusa Group was well known and respected for their acquisition of many successful start-ups, but details of their business dealings were always very secretive. And the company had only grown and expanded since Kiyoomi became CEO at just a mere 25 years old- not that you were stalking the Sakusa Group’s movements in your free time or anything.

When the two of you broke up he had encouraged you to “follow your own dreams”, and made sure to mention he would be extremely busy in the years after graduating high school.  You had received the underlying message loud and clear. He wanted to be left alone and didn’t want a girl from a regular family ruining his image when he entered the executive world. Your heart was shattered, but that didn’t stop you from missing Kiyoomi dearly even years later. The hugs that completely enveloped your frame and the scent of his light cologne, the one he brought you to pick out for him on his birthday. The rasp of his deep voice and how its sound had burrowed into the back of your brain, the memories of random things he once said to you popping to the forefront of your mind haphazardly throughout your days.

You had done as he said, and moved to the city to become an author as you always dreamed. Actually, you were pretty successful in the romance industry and even though you only had a handful of books published, your fanbase was so dedicated and charismatic. In your single year of dating Kiyoomi you had amassed a lifetime’s worth of romantic material, and between your real life experiences with him and the melancholy fantasies that kept you up at night nowadays, you had lots of inspiration. Although, even you were prone to the classically dreaded writer’s block.

Today was just a regular Tuesday morning in the office, where you preferred to write when you were stuck in a rut. Unfortunately, the coffee mug on your desk was not bringing the inspiration that you wanted and you glared at the last sip, willing some piece of creativity to be hiding inside as you downed it. Nothing. Loosening a sigh, you dropped your head into your hands just as a knock rapped on the door. Without lifting your head you greeted the visitor, already knowing who was on the other side.

“Come in!”

“How’s it coming? Anything I can get you right now?” It was the sweet front desk girl, Josie, checking in on you. Again. 

“Unless you can write in my place, there’s not much you can do for me i'm afraid” Josie meant well, but her insistent interruptions certainly were not helping your workflow, and this was the third time within 30 minutes she’s asked if you needed anything.

“Okie dokie, I’ll check back later then! Keep at it! ” 

“Oh, you don’t have to-” She was off with a wave without hearing your response, the door slamming behind her. With another sigh, your head dropped back into your hands, frustration building. 

Not 5 minutes later, there was another knock at the door. But this time the door opened before you could respond.

“Holy shit, Josie i’m really fine I swear- K-Kiyoomi???” You burst from your seat in surprise, your eyes all but popping out of your head.

And there he was, like a fever dream come to life, standing in the doorframe. His handsome face tilted to the side slightly, a smirk pulling across his lips.

“There you are, I’ve been looking for you” His voice had gotten deeper since the last time you spoke. His hair a little longer, his chest a bit stronger. But his eyes remained the same, that dark gaze enticing you and melting you down with just a look.

“W-what are you doing here? How did you-? What is this??” 

As much as you wanted to cave and run straight into his arms, you vividly recalled your last conversation with Sakusa. Not Kiyoomi. He had corrected you so coldly before parting, saying “you should call me by last name from now on, otherwise people may get confused”. As if it would be bad if people mistakenly thought you were still dating. As if to push you that much further away. Your confusion only grew as you looked at him now, unsure of his motives for being here. 

“Came to scope out a new prospect. I sent an executive to meet with your publishing house’s CEO last week” His smirk widened as he took deliberately slow steps into the room, sleek confidence dripping from him. 

That's right, your boss had mentioned that your little publishing house had been recently approached by a huge parent company with an amazing offer, but as far as you knew nothing had been made official. And you certainly had no clue that said parent company was the Sakusa Group. The realization settled in, and the frustration you felt earlier was starting to bubble up again. 

All of a sudden he was in your space, sleek black button-up shirt in your direct line of sight. What was his goal here? Certainly this has nothing to do with you? Right. Exactly. He claimed he was here for business. Then why..??

Long fingers gripped your chin, thumb tugging your bottom lip from between your teeth where you nervously chewed it. 

“Where did you pick up this bad habit? And when are you planning on acknowledging me properly?” Your heart dropped to your stomach. His firm grip brought your face to look up at his, a little too close for comfort. Kiyoomi’s smirk tilted into a small frown, an admonishing look starting to grow.

“Of course sir, I apologize. Good morning Mr. Sakusa.” Backing out of his hold, you bowed in respect. Of course he was here for just business. 

This only seemed to irritate him further though, and when you rose from your greeting he took another step closer. You may as well have been toe to toe now. 

“Since when do you address me that way?” His eyes were too intense, and you could feel the memories of your past relationship coming up in your mind, emotion nearly overwhelming you before you swallowed it down.

“I’m not sure what you mean sir, it would be improper for me to address you otherwise” 

If he was irritated before, then he was surely pissed off now. 

His hands gripped your shoulders, roughly pushing you back against your desk before planting his palms on either side, caging you in. 

“Why won’t you look at me, hm? It’s disrespectful to ignore your superior sweetheart” Shit. That voice had you in a vice grip and he knew it. He was using it to his advantage. 

“I was unaware you would be my business superior until a minute ago, forgive me sir” How long will your legs hold up before melting completely?

“Seems like something is bothering you. You don’t like the idea of working with me? Or maybe you don’t like the idea of me being your boss? Sweetheart, I hope you realize I know you’ve been writing about me.” 

“No! No thats not-!” Your head shot up in a rush to disagree, or maybe to explain. Either way, you immediately realized your mistake and you were silenced once more. The tip of your nose brushed his, and his breath brushed your lips in an intimate greeting, as if to say “hey, i missed you”. 

His mock irritation melted away, the smirk returning once more. You fell into the trap too easily.

Most people knew Sakusa to be the cool and straightforward man he showed to the world, but when you dated in high school he quickly shattered this image. Though he certainly preferred to stay away from crowds and strangers, he was still human after all, and loved to be in your personal space whenever he got you alone. He had always enjoyed making you blush and stutter, thriving off the knowledge that he could affect you so deeply. Clearly, he still enjoyed that feeling. 

But you were not a toy, and he was interrupting your work day. And how dare he just come back into your life after throwing you aside for so many years?! Absolutely not, you refused to be disrespected this way. Your hands came to his chest, giving him a solid (and completely ineffective) shove.

“No. This is not professional Mr. Sakusa-!” 

Sakusa didn’t back up a single inch. Instead he gripped your face, long fingers pinching into your cheeks slightly. Your breath caught in your throat, previous arguments completely obliterated.

“Stop. Saying. No. Now answer me. Since when do you call me by my last name? You’re purposely not answering my question” 

When you took a breath in you caught the scent of his cologne, and it was the same one you picked out for him in high school. He still wore it. Every single thought emptied out of your head, except for the recognition of how close he was to you, and where he was touching you. 

“Say it.”

“K-Kiyoomi...”

“Say it like you mean it, baby.”

“Kiyoomi.” A smile broke out as his name fell from your mouth a second time.

“That’s my girl, just as pretty as ever. I missed you so bad sweetheart, I’ve been looking for you in the city for some time now. And don't worry, I’ll make up for lost time, so don’t push me away.” 

His second hand came up to the back of your head, tugging you back by your hair and bringing your mouth to his. But he didn’t kiss you, he denied you the pleasure, only speaking against your lips. You let him do as he pleased, no longer able to deny how much you missed him. Missed this. 

“Look at you with your hair so grown out now.”

“Do you like it?”

“I love everything about you.” He moved to plant a firm kiss to both of your cheeks, and to your disappointment he slowly released his hands from your face and hair. 

“The Sakusa Group will officially be in ownership of your publisher by the end of the week. You’ll be seeing a lot more of me, so get used to it sweetheart.” He offered no further explanations or goodbyes, and he left your office with only your disheveled and flustered state to prove that he had really been there at all. 

You made absolutely zero progress on your writing the rest of the morning and afternoon, but when you returned the next day ready for another day of failure, you opened the door to see your office transformed into a florist. 

There were flowers on every single surface, completely covering your desk and the floor. There were roses of every shade, along with tulips, orchids, and other kinds of flowers you had never even seen before. Each bouquet was bursting with color and life, wrapped in silk ribbons and set in gorgeous porcelain vases that looked absolutely priceless.  There was only a small path left open for you to walk to your desk seat, and on your keyboard was a note. 

“A flower for every occasion I missed. And more just because.” 

Your hand came up to your mouth, tears already welling up in your eyes. You looked to the bottom, and saw he signed the note,

“Always Yours, Kiyoomi”

[mischiefandlies]

The answer to all your prayers

Loki x f!Reader

Masterlist

Notes: CRACK FIC!!! This was so much fun to write. Enjoy!

Warnings: Smutty with no actual smut. Mentions masturbating, but there's no real description. Also, Loki has a megapenis (we've all seen that gif, y'know what I'm talking about).

You were fresh out of college when you landed a job working as an apprentice technician for Stark industries. You were exceptional at physics and aerodynamics, so ended up working on the newest designs for an iron man suit Tony was working on. Due to your position, you had ended up becoming quite chummy with the avengers.

Pepper had recently been trying to set you up after hearing about your tragic love life. The truth of it was, you had been on a spree of first dates in college, but they had all been so disastrous you had sworn off dating until you were a little older and had enough time to actually go on dates properly. This, however, had left you a little inexperienced around… sex. You had been wanting to lose your V card for a while now, but knew that if anyone was going to take you to heaven and back, you wanted it to be someone you trusted. You weren’t up for playing hide the sausage with just anyone.

Enter Loki. A handsome devil (literally), hung like a horse (literally) with magic fingers (also literally). Loki may not have been worthy, but he certainly had a hammer and he knew how to swing it. He also had Ye Olde Viking charm, quick wit, and happened to be a fairly good friend of yours. The two of you had a habit of getting flirty, then backing off and letting nothing ever come of it. You'd been safely sat in the friendzone for quite a while.

Which was how you found yourself here- lying in your birthday suit, in your apartment in stark tower, dreaming about a certain tall dark and handsome norse god. You could imagine it all perfectly. How he’d slowly crawl over, kissing your lips, prising them open to invade your mouth with his tongue. He'd slowly work his way south, kissing your neck, collarbones, chest, then further south, until he reached your dripping-

DING DONG

Who the fuck is ringing your doorbell at this time of night? And why did it have to be just as you were mid wank?

DING DONG

You stumbled around in the dark, pulling your PJs back on, ready to give Tony a bollocking for knocking on your front door at twenty to midnight. You're hoping this will be a quick conversation so you get right back to the dirty fantasies about your coworker who had done nothing but make you More infatuated since you met him.

You open the door, and are met with…

“Loki!?”

He was looking incredibly dapper in that black suit, which you immediately dreamed about ripping to shreds in a state of feral horniness. If anyone could look like sex incarnate wrapped up in a gorgeous designer suit, it was him.

“Loki! What- er, what are you doing here?”

He smiles “I heard you.”

“What?”

He shakes his head slightly. “May I come in?”

“Yeah, sure. Sorry the place is a mess, I wasn’t expecting company, otherwise I would’ve made a-”

He cuts you off mid-sentence, pressing his lips to yours. You immediately kiss him back with all the fervour you can muster, until reality comes crashing down on you and you push him back. He keeps you close to him, refusing to let you out of his embrace even if he has stopped kissing you. When you finally get your breath back (you appeared to have been too busy sucking his tongue to breathe) you look him dead in the eye and ask

“What the fuck was that!?”

He smiles again. “I heard your prayer.”

“My… prayer?”

“Oh yes, angel,” he says. “You’ve been praying to me for weeks. It's like I'm in your thoughts all the time. It's been hard to concentrate in those dull meetings when all I can hear is your delicious fantasies in my head. And every night my darling- you really are obsessed, aren’t you?”

You are mortified. “Loki, I'm so sorry, I didn’t realise I was doing that. Really, I don’t know what I was thinking-”

“Shh love. There's no need to apologise. I find it all quite amusing. You are rather adventurous with your fantasies. But there’s one that you keep thinking about, isn’t there angel?” He waits for you to nod before continuing. “The one where I claim you. Where I am the first to have you. Where I make you mine.”

He pulls you tight against him, and bends down as if to kiss you. However, you are slightly distracted by the HUGE boner poking you in the thigh. You pull away slightly and glance down. There was a fucking great tent in Loki’s trousers. By Christ, how had you never noticed he was that big before? “Hold it Lokes. I don’t think mini mischief is gonna fit.”

He looks down at you, confused. “I beg your pardon?”

“Look, I’d love to be fucked into next Tuesday, but you’re putting the long in schlong, and I kinda need to be able to walk tomorrow.”

His eyebrows have risen to halfway up his forehead now. “Is it normal for humans to speak in riddles before intercourse?”

“All I’m saying is your bellend is going to end me. You can’t go cave diving if you don’t fit in the cave.”

He rolls his eyes, and covers your mouth with his hand. “Darling, I have no idea what your saying. Yes or no, do you want to have sex with me?”

“Well, yes, but-”

You can’t finish your sentence because Loki has thrown you over his shoulder (giving you a spectacular view of his arse) and marches the two of you to the bedroom, setting you gently on the bed.

“Now my dear, I believe as a benevolent god, I am obligated to make all your prayers come true.”

“Loki?”

“Yes love?”

“You didn’t see all my prayers, did you?”

He looks down at you with a wolfish grin.

You are so fucked (literally).

The gif from earlier btw:

[blumineck]

yayyyy im glad youre posting your tiktoks here, tiktok is the harbinger of THE BEAST

No worries, I'm glad you're enjoying them! Personally as a creator I think all the platforms have their good points and their issues!

TikTok gets a bad rep (partly for real reasons and because it's a thing that younger people like, and that always seems to rub everyone else the wrong way) but ime it's much better than, for example, instagram. And I have a lot of love for tiktok as a site that actually showed my videos to strangers while I still had no idea what I was doing. Like, you wouldn't see this stuff if that site didn't exist, because I'd still be filming half-hearted pole tricks with bad camera angles that nobody watches.

Youtube apparently pays better if you can make it work for you (I can't), but it feels more toxic and industrial, like you have to play the game a lot more to get any traction.

And this place has some of the most supportive communities I've found anywhere, but huge swathes of it are highly inaccessible if you weren't There(tm). Plus, its relative isolation from other sites is a bit of a drawback in an industry that thrives on connections. If I hadn't been on here since 2009 or whatever, I probably wouldn't be here now.

Like, I'm glad that I'm here, because I love this community! I'm just saying don't knock Tiktok too hard. Because for all its problems, it genuinely IS letting some people live their dreams (or at least something that looks similar if you squint).

[thebunnyslibrary]

Bucky Barnes Valentine's Drabble ❤️

wc. ~1500

pairing. Bucky x Curvy!Reader

summary. Reader is alone and in the gym on Valentine's Day of all days. Until the man of her dreams Bucky Barnes wanders in and offers to be her sparring partner...

an. I had a last minute idea for a drabble......that then morphed into TWO ideas!! Bucky is first up and I have another idea with Loki that I should hope to finish in the next couple of days. (PS I haven't forgotten my last Ficmas fic. I just kind of hit a wall and i'm still struggling to get over it. Maybe this will help.)

Also big shout out to @chasingmidnights for helping inspire me today ❤️

Going to the gym wasn't exactly your first choice of things to start your Valentine’s Day; but here you were. You preferred to come early early, still dark out early, for two reasons. First for being a bit of an early riser yourself. Usually not as early as you were today, but enough that in the summer, you were able to hear the birds sing at breakfast.

 The second that there were less people to stare at you. Confident as you were in your curves, the world had not gotten used to the idea of fat people working out in gyms NOT to lose weight add you’d rather not start today, of all days, that way. Valentine’s Day. You had no real hatred for it. But you did get a little jealous sometimes when you walked in the office and saw so many other desks littered with flowers and candies. But you couldn’t recall a time someone had sent you so much as a single rose.

This year, you’d decided to take the self-care route. You’d ordered takeout last night and tucked it away in the fridge for tonight, along with a slice of your favorite cheesecake from the old-fashioned delicatessen down the street (family owned since the days Tony’s father running Stark Industries). You’d chosen not to weep for your singleness but instead use it as a night of rest and recovery. A good meal, a nice book and your favorite vinyl record along with a long soak in the tub were you self-loves tonight…and your now charging vibrator would take care of the other kind too.  You just had to make it through the day.

                Even though you were a desk jockey, there was a physical exam all SWORD agents had to pass. You weren't extraordinarily physically gifted, but you could kick but in Just Dance when you wanted to. Unfortunately, the virtual reality sparring simulator at the Avengers compound certainly wasn't as fun as silly dance moves to 70s music in your apartment You knew sparring with the examiner wouldn't be like this, but you had no one else to spar with. And that was where Bucky found you.  

"If you'd like I can practice with you, agent." He’d startled you as you quickly removed the virtual reality headset and turned to see him standing there. It was amazing how well he fit into modern clothing.  He was wearing a sleeveless shirt, showing off this metal arm. You’d never seen his arm this closes and you were in awe of the Wakandan craftsmanship. You'd long admired the former assassin, but never thought in a million years he'd notice you. He was the dark contrast to Captain America, the golden boy. Both were incredibly handsome but there was something mysterious about him that drew you to him. You could easily see why he’d been a lady’s man in the 40s. And you were just a desk clerk. You couldn’t compete with the women, all of whom looked like super models, that threw themselves at him.

You looked around, not seeing any one else and turned back to him, standing there and looking at you, a genuine smile on his face. You nodded and quietly responded.

"Uh...yeah. that would be nice."

Sparring with Bucky gave you a much better experience. Being able to actually fight someone who was there instead of just a simulation felt great. Even though you were sure Bucky was taking it easy on you, you were a lot stronger than you thought, not to mention quick. You were able to duck and dodge and lay a few quick jabs to his chest. And that was nothing compared to how confident you felt, and how good Bucky looked. He seemed to be enjoying himself, a smile never leaving his face. Once or twice you’d stared a little too long and he’d gotten a few jabs in, but you recovered quickly. 

 At one point he had his arms around you in a hold and you were amazed how warm he felt. His chest brushed against your back and you let out a little gasp that you prayed to God he didn't hear. But you saw the smirk play at his lips.

"Sorry, doll. I run a little warm cause of the serum."

"It's alright.” You said, sheepishly. “Your touch actually feels nice." You bit your cheek as you realized how wrong that probably was to say. To your surprise, Bucky didn’t mention it.

"Well the best way to pass a test is with the proper tools. Not with Tony’s toys." He said, rolling his eyes. “And your touch feels good too.” You raised your eyebrows in surprise before he continued “You’ve got a good strong grip.” He shot you a wink and you couldn’t begin to process what he meant when the sparring resumed. Bucky and you trained for a good hour or so and by the end you felt much better about the exam.

Bucky also took the time to show you a few new self-defense maneuvers. He was demonstrating a quick way to hit someone in the gut before raising your hands up to hit them in the face.

"It's one fluid movement." He guided your arms. By now you were CERTAINLY used to his touch. Especially in moments like now where you when his arms where wrapped around you to guide you.  You'd never felt more safe and secure.

"Like this...." You jabbed your elbows backwards before swinging are your arms up, hands closed together and you FELT the contact against Bucky’s nose as you'd executed the move perfectly. But your pride turned to panic as Bucky grunted, then started a fit of coughing as you realized what you’d done.

"Holy shit. Oh my God. I mean... oh shit. Uhm. Captain America is gunna kill me.... Sargent Barnes uhm...sir...?? Are you okay??"

Bucky coughed a few more times, before his breathing finally shallowed. His hand was clutch his nose, now paying attention to that and feeling to make sure it wasn't broken before he finally spoke to you.

“Well doll, I certainly didn't expect you to knock the wind out of me twice in one day. But I'll take it. And you can just call me Bucky.” He said and you felt like you were going to faint. Had he just said what you thought he did?

"Wha...what...? Twice?" you said in disbelief.

“Sure doll.” Bucky admitted. “First was when I walked In here today.  Though I have to say you've done it a few times before that" he admitted. “Like the other day when I dropped off that paperwork and you looked so beautiful in your blue dress.” He bit his lip, recalling the memory.

“You're not. You're not serious, right?” He couldn’t be.

“Yeah. Uhm. I am doll. I’ve been wanting to say something for a while but I was worried you were scared of me.”  Your heart twinged a little and you gently placed your hand on his mechanical arm.

“Not at all Bucky. In fact, I’ve liked you for some time as I just…didn’t think you’d notice me. You could have any girl you want and I’m just a desk clerk.” You said. “Not a supermodel or a superhero. Or anything special."

“Hey listen to me. You’re absolutely gorgeous doll. Why do you think I’m the one that’s always bringing you everyone else’s paperwork.” You thought for a moment before you realized it was true. You’d never noticed it but while you often saw other Avengers dropping off work to someone else, whenever something had to come to you, Bucky was always the one to bring it. “It’s the highlight of my day when I get to see you. His words, full of honesty and admiration made your heart swell. He placed his flesh hand over yours and squeezed it tight. You gazed into the crystal blue pools of his eyes as he broke the moment.

“Besides everyone knows it’s desk clerks that makes the world go round. Trust me, My ma worked as a secretary for a while. The stories she could’ve told.” You both laughed at that and you loved his laugh. You weren’t sure you’d ever heard him really laugh before. It wasn’t as deep or boisterous as Thor’s. Rather it pattered and reminded you of summer’s rain on a wooden roof. And you loved the way his shoulders shook, even if it wasn’t that big of a laugh.

“Listen, doll, I know it's super last minute...and if you didn’t already have plans tonight… I We'll never get a reservation anywhere. But you could come back to my place and I could cook you dinner? Maybe we can watch a movie?” Bucky asked. You smiled and happily replied.

                “It's a date.”

[laguezze]

PAC: What's your ideal career path?

(This is for the career oriented people that got absolutely no idea what to do with their lives or have an idea but are so overwhelmed and lost with all the possibilities. I salute y'all bc same)

More piles this time because why not lol

Here are the piles:

Pile 1

Pile 2

Pile 3

Pile 4

Pile 5

Pile 6

Ready? Let's go!

Pile 1

I'm so into you, I can barely breathe ~

👩‍🍳🏖️🩴🍹🚣‍♀️🤝👩‍💼🕴️🧳

There are two subgroups within this pile so I will read them differently right now.

Seems like Group 1 is actually free spirited and out there and independent. You guys don't need anyone and you hate being restrained by boundaries or rules. Thus, I think a career that best suits you is one where no one rules over you but yourself. And of course not a high stress environment. I'm seeing you, group 1 fellows might thrive in a customer service position. Some of you might open your own bar or something, I'm seeing a lot of entrepreneurship here. Do it. Start that business and be happy.

And now onto group 2

For group 2, seems like you guys have some things to work on. You say your dream is to be a hippie by the beach that is free spirited and carefree but you are nothing like that. And that is ok. You're not less cool or more boring or ordinary. You being yourself is already unique, there is nothing to complete in you.

I'm seeing some of you guys are quiet and shy, but actually love people. Wouldn't be hurtful to try out some customer service as well! Weirdly enough I see the same career paths as group 1 for you guys. Entrepreneurship, having your own company, etc.

In general, for both groups I see these:

culinary arts (big on this one), Chef, waiter, bartender, owner of any place that serves food or drink, secretary, CEO, business management, HR worker, meeting mediator, etc

Pile 2

You like my hair? Gee, thanks! Just bought it ~

🎹👮‍♀️⚖️👩‍🔬🔭🔬💅

You guys seem like a bit of an airhead but in a wonderful way. I can't stress how positively I mean that. People seem baffled by the way you act and say things and you surprise them everyday. Seems like you really don't care about who you're talking to, there is no filter or personality switch. You're just you. And it's genuine. And it's enough. You seem to have some issues with people because of that, but also you attract wonderful opportunities as well. Think Elle Woods from Legally Blonde. Big Elle energy for real.

I think you guys might even be in a male dominated industry, which is tough considering your personality, but not impossible. And especially not impossible for you. Absolutely not customer service, though. Some people hate your personality (f them ngl) but your ideal career is probably one where your work speaks for itself and they can't deny your talent.

I see careers such as STEM, law, IT, music, biology, forensics, investigator, nail tech and criminal Justice.

Pile 3

Wrote some songs about Ricky, now I listen and laugh ~

🩰🪩🕺🏠👩‍💼🎭💵🤑😎

You guys are powerful. When you enter a room, people notice you. Which is why you could either do great in the performance arts or in a position of power within an organization. This is so short and straight forward, but so are you so...

Careers I see: dancer, CEO, event planner, actor, real estate agent.

Pile 4

She might've let you hold her hand in school but imma show you how to graduate ~

🏖️🤑🧳✈️🍹🍔🍕👨‍🍳🧥🚣

Ok you guys, this is gonna be a bit straightforward so beware.

A lot of you guys think you're hot s*-#, which you can be but you are not right now. What I mean by that is you seem like the type of person that says: yeah! I'm gonna have a private jet and a thousand cars and blah blah. Very materialistic. But you're not putting in the work at all, you probably don't even know what it is you're passionate about or want to do with your life (which is so valid). You just want to be rich, which honestly I get it, but you need some drive other than "i want a Maserati" you need to want something bigger. You need to be good at something and you don't even know what that something is. And something tells me that you are not even thinking about what that could be. You fantasize about being rich without wondering how to get there. Why do you want that? Status? Relationships? Reevaluate.

That said, I see two types of outcomes. If you put in the effort I'm seeing you can achieve that level of richness you're looking for. Some of you might start a company or climb up an existing one. Some of you might become travel vloggers or influencers.

If you keep doing what you're doing I see you're working at fast food chains (i literally channeled that I'm not gonna lie to y'all) as a manager maybe retail too, that type of jobs.

Careers I see: McDonald's worker, fast food manager, retail worker, makeup store worker (I'm seeing Sephora), mall business owner, souvenir store owner, business owner in general, travel vlogger, boat driver, tourist attraction worker, marketing specialist, hotel worker, hotel owner.

Hope it resonates and my apologies for the bluntness, seemed like the pile wanted to call you out. Maybe you needed it.

Lots of love 💕

Pile 5

I've been here all night, I've been here all day ~

🎤🩰🏡📚🧑‍🍳💐👨‍👩‍👦‍👦

You guys are actually going to be successful. I'm seeing some of you have bigger dreams, some of you have smaller ones (which is cool too!) But all of you will definitely achieve them in some way or another.

I see someone with a family and a big house. Some kids running around. Some of you want to be stay at home partners to a rich person (respect to you guys, every dream is a valid one) and I see you'll get that and be fulfilled. Vacation is a given. You don't struggle with money. None of you guys do.

Some common themes you all have is that your career will allow you to be calm and chill. There are no problems. Money comes easy and secure. And you're living the dream, whichever dream that may be.

A lot of you guys here are here for confirmation of an ideal life you have. Let me say, yes. It's happening. Maybe not in the way you think, maybe not in the amount of success you want it. Or maybe it does fully! But it's happening. I'm seeing some of you might want to act? You'll be an actor and have work but maybe you won't be a big Hollywood star. Or maybe you will!

Some of you may want to be singers. Again, you might not win a Grammy and become Beyonce, but you will work as a singer and it will pay your bills. Like singing at events, hotels, etc. (Or maybe you will win a Grammy! Don't let tarot discourage you from achieving anything! It's just a tool, not a strict rule to follow)

Anyways, you will be whatever it is you want to be.

I know this reading might be confusing but that's what I channelled.

Careers I see: actor/actress, stay at home partner, flight attendant, singer, dancer, librarian, real estate agent, restaurant owner, chef, coffee shop owner, flower shop owner, bakery owner.

Pile 6

A feeling that you can't fight, my one ~

🥖🇫🇷🌍✈️📸

You guys are travelers, no matter what you do you will be up in the air and onto a new place. Kinda chaotic, but you like that.

I'm seeing some of you might work in the fashion industry, models, designers, makeup artists, etc. You all are here gathered. I hear Milan, Paris, London, Fashion Week.

Some of you could just be a flight attendant and that's why you travel so much.

A couple of you might be touring for some reason, you might play in a band or you might sing backup for someone or you might sing yourself or play.

I'm seeing such chaos, though. Like a lot.

Some of you might do film! Or photography! And probably need to relocate for shoots a lot. So cool.

Careers I see: photographer, filmmaker, model, magazine editor, security guard, flight attendant, pilot, makeup artist, wardrobe assistant, set decorator.

The End

[squarebracket-trickster]

Sorry guys, rant incoming. I considered deleting this but I put too much effort in.

"girlboss" "girl dinner" "girl math" "boy math" "gen z are making fun of us for wearing x" "here's how to dress like gen z:" "girlies" "girl's night" "boy's night" "me and the boys" "90s kid"

"I don't feel like an adult" "I'm 34 and I can tell you, I still don't feel like an adult either." "My parents seemed like real adults when they were my age." "I still feel like a teenager."

Maybe you'd feel more like an adult if you started calling yourself one. Maybe you'd feel more like an adult if you stopped trying to dress like a teenager. Maybe you should move your bed out from the wall and get a wallet. Maybe find a calendar app that works for you.

You are an adult. Even if you live with your parents. Even if you do part-time shift work at minimum wage. Even if you haven't graduated college. Even if you are single. These are adult things to do. Because you are doing them. And you are an adult. Start treating yourself like an adult. Fake it 'till you make it if you have to.

In other, writing-related, news:

That trend on TikTok of 20-40 something women authors (and writers yet to be published) promoting their books like,

"Omg! I can't believe I've sold X number of copies!! I never thought I would!" "Ahhhh imagine publishing your book and all your dreams come true and now you get to meet famous authors and work with big names in the industry!!" "Would you read a book where [proceeds to list a bunch of oversaturated tropes that tell me nothing about the actual plot]?"

It reeks of infantilization. If you didn't believe anyone would want to read your book, why should I? You made it on the NYT bestseller list! Stop acting like a mega-fan who got to meet a celebrity. You are their peer! "Would you read a book--" What if I wouldn't? Why does it matter to you what I think of your book? And for the love of god stop hiding behind tropes you know are already popular. "Here is my book: This is what it is about." Have some goddamn confidence.

It is fine to mention in passing "this idea was really far-fetched so I didn't know if it would appeal" or "I was struggling with self-esteem when I wrote this". It's fine to fan a little bit. It's fine to discuss the tropes in your book. But why are you building your brand as an author off of your inferiority complex? You are using your poor self-esteem as a marketing tactic to seem "humble" and "relatable" but it's coming across as unprofessional and desperate for reassurance. You are an adult. You are competent. The more you act like it the more you will believe it.

And of course, I haven't seen a man promote his book this way...

On another note, do any of the 20-40 something women writers who do "write with me" videos on TikTok actually enjoy writing or are they just doing it for the aesthetic?

They all have gorgeous minimalism writing spaces full of white and pink and a macbook beneath a window. Their makeup is done and they are conventionally pretty to start with. But their entire video is just them talking about how little progress they made, how many pages they deleted, how often they got distracted, how frustrated they are. And like, yeah. We all have those days. But what about the good lines you can't wait to share? The days when the words just flow? The cool stuff you learned while researching? Why don't you ever make videos about that?

Is this some other attempt to seem "relatable" by only talking about the "bad" side of writing? Because again, it's coming across as lacking confidence at best and, at worst, that you don't actually know how to write. And that is not the brand you want as an author.

Again, its always women. Why must women market their self-esteem issues in order to sell their art? Why must we be perpetually awestruck children (girlies, book girls) in over our heads?

[funnier-when-objectum]

Just had a really long, detailed, and steamy dream which took place as a historical drama involving a specific train on the first transcontinental railroad, and the many people who loved and fought over it. One gentleman in particular could actually speak to it, and it detailed their lives over the years they met authors, executives, and revolutionaries who cared for and fought for the train in their own way, as the flames of youthful idealism gave way to the cold corporate reality of the American industrial age. There was drama as the train grew disillusioned with greedy humans, but they and the gentleman eventually reconciled. The last scene of the dream involved the gentleman now old, and the train about to be decomissioned, speaking on the lives they lived and deciding one night to sneak out and ride off alone, knowing that they would be caught in the morning but wishing to experience one last ride, together, while they still could, to live their dream of freedom and intimacy. The scene of the gentleman tending to the train's boiler as it drove faster and faster was absolutely presented as sex.

I'm not even objectum for trains.

OH MY GOD?? I WISH THIS WAS REAL I WOULD WATCH THIS

[elbiotipo]

y'know, I think a lot of why people really get into "we should focus on solving problems here instead of dreaming of space" is as a reaction to rich nutcases who convince themselves of shit like "if I put humanity on mars that's better than paying taxes or solving hunger right". so I kinda can't blame the sentiment sprouting and growing beyond its most useful context but it's also kinda like... when did we let rich nutcases take over that entire conversation anyway? they don't even actually succeed at getting into space at all, national space agencies are still winning every single time there

Rich assholes aren't ever gonna "solve world hunger", that's another big fallacy. If someone like Bezos or Musk tried to donate all their money into "solving world hunger" they would either get kicked from their companies, or create agrobusiness megacorporations and being from Argentina I'm well aware on how they work.

But I digress. The reason why there is so much private interest in space lately is because there are market forces pulling up there, and those market forces exist, in my opinion, because there is a future in space. Because there are recent technological changes (most notably reusable rockets) that are creating new possibilities from communication to manufacturing to mining to tourism, there is a lot of potential in space. Not to mention the drive to understand how the universe works, which I think is a worthwhile endeavor on itself.

Why are countries like China also investing so much in space? Because that's where the future is. China has plans for space-based solar panels, international lunar bases, and space science and research. You don't hear much about that, do you? Why would China invest so much in space, just to compete with other countries? No, it's because there are real tangible benefits, from the scientific to the technological to the purely economical, into having a strong space industry.

The USSR knew about this. Much of the Space Race was also a weapons race, this is a sad fact. But when you read about so many of the experiments in Saluyt and Mir, most of them were from the perspective of securing a real presence in space that could bring benefit to people on Earth. From Earth imaging (now mostly done by satellites, to communications, to outright manufacturing. Same with lunar base plans. It all had the intention of not only stroking egos, but bringing real benefits to Earth and building steps into a permanent human presence in space. This wasn't utopian, and in fact, it was military meddling (much like corporatization in the US right now) that prevented the Soviet space program to reach even greater heights.

But my point here is that there isn't only a "wacky billionarie ego trip" push here. Space exploration can and will benefit the people of Earth, and becoming an interplanetary and one day interstellar society will be a great accomplishment. We are in the technological threshold to achieve this, and I believe that as society progresses through class struggle, space exploration will be a pride of a united and peaceful world, something, much like art, much like sports, much like science, much like those things humans do because we can, we can all participate and appreciate.

[avaetin]

This has taken over my life---

@haiseiscute333

“Welcome to the Oscars, live from the red carpet from the Dolby Theater in Los Angeles! I'm your host, Kayla Knowles, and for the next hour, we're going to be talking to the many nominees and presenters of this show-...”

“-....As we prepare to welcome our first guest, remember to breathe it all in, because tonight, we are part of something truly special. Tonight, we gather to celebrate the magic of the silver screen and the small screen, where dreams come true and where Hollywood truly shines.

So, without further ado, let the Oscars begin!”

…

…

…

“- Let’s just take you down the red carpet. As you can see, we have America’s all-time male sweetheart, Percy Jackson, in his black tux, looking good. You can see people yelling, trying to make eye contact with him. With him is America's sweetheart, Annabeth Chase, looking absolutely beautiful in her sparkling silver Gucci gown!”

—-

Comment section from the live video:

Perc4beth4evr: OMG! My parents are finally here! They look so gorgeous together! The perfect golden couple! ❤️❤️❤️ THEDaughter: Took them long enough to come out as a couple! We all knew he was dating her for two years now. ImOfficial: ❤️❤️❤️ BitterDingy: ❤️❤️❤️ HonesToxic: You're all delulus. They don't even look in love. I'm pretty sure he was with someone else. Perc4beth4vr: YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

—-

…

…

“Thank you, Alabaster. Hope you have a wonderful time inside as well-! Ah! Over there! It's the industry's charming darling, Nico di Angelo! Oh, he certainly lives up to his name - he looks so dashing and adorable in his white designer tuxedo!”

—-

Comment section from the live video: NDAPS: IM JUST A BABY— 😍😍😍 NicosAngel: NICOOOOOO! BABY BOY ASDFGHJKL Cat-astrophe: I HAVE LEGAL ADOPTION PAPERS PLS COME HOME WIV ME NOW Shituation: Everyday, I wake up just to see his gorgeous face 😫

—-

“Wait. Is that… Did Nico di Angelo bring a partner with him this year?”

—-

Comment section from the live video: NDAPS: HOLD UP. WAITWAITWAIT OUR MEOW MEOW BRING A WHAT NOW??? NicoApologist: Our baby grew up so fast 😭 NicosAngel: NOOOOOOOO!!! WHO DARES CORRUPT MY ANGEL?!?!

—-

“Oh my! Nico di Angelo did bring a partner to this year's event, and-! No. Nonononono. This can't be real. Who has the right to look THAT gorgeous? The press is going crazy over them, look at all those flashing lights! They're clearly wearing matching tuxedos as well! Is this Nico's mystery partner?”

—-

Comment section from the live video: NDAPS: HOLY JESUS CHRIST ON A MOTORBIKE! I MUST HAVE ASCENDED TO HEAVEN! IM SEEING AN ANGEL AND A GOD AT THE SAME TIME— Perc4beth4vr: Doesn't that guy look like Percy? Sorrynotsorry: Not everything's about Jackson. Clearly that guy looks way better. NicosAngel: I apologize for what I said. Please corrupt my angel, Mr. Greek God. For you, I'll make an exception. MY ANGEL IS SMILING SO MUCH RIGHT NOW I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM THIS HAPPY 😭😭😭 THEY LOOK LIKE THE PERFECT COUPLE, I DEMAND WEDDING INVITATIONS ASAP 🤧🤧🤧 excuseyou: Did Percy stop at the end of the carpet or was it just me who noticed? troll.on.a.roll: Kayla is us right now. She's fangirling over Nico just as hard as everyone else lol

—-

Kayla: Nico! Wow, you look drop-dead gorgeous! How are you feeling this evening? (hugs him)

Nico: Kayla! You look stunning as well. (hugs her back) I'm doing great! The best, actually.

Kayla: Oh, is it because of your mystery partner? (smiling playfully before turning towards the other male) Are we going to know his name tonight, or are the netizens going to have to do their thorough investigations?

Nico: (laughs) As fun as that is… Let me introduce to everyone, Aeon Oceanus. My fiance. (lifts one of his hands to show off a silver diamond-studded ring)

—-

Comment section from the live video: … … … … NDAPS: Did he say fiance? narrowcrepe: !!! NicosAngel: YUUUUUUS! I CALLED IT! I DEMAND AN INVITATION! FRONT ROW! ILL EVEN BE THE CARPET YOU WALK DOWN ON JUST SO I CAN SEE YOU GET MARRIED- excuseyou: Percy looks constipated hmm… Sorrynotsorry: NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT THAT TALENTLESS NEWBIE 🙄 Dundundun: But for real! I sense drama. Like, this guy really looks a lot like Jackson. I won't be surprised if they're related.

—-

Kayla: M-Marriage? Wow! That's amazing! No wonder you're glowing tonight. It must be love.

Nico: Ah, well, it's also my first time bringing a partner to an awarding ceremony. It feels amazing, knowing that from today onwards, I have no need to hide my relationship with my partner.

—- Comment section from the live video: excuseyou: Definitely constipated. Sorrynotsorry: Someone kick this Percy-stan out. —-

Kayla: And how about you… Mr. Oceanus?

Aeon: Aeon’s fine.

Kayla: How are you feeling tonight?

Aeon: I feel like I’m on cloud nine (smiles warmly). Having the love of my life acknowledge our relationship publicly, and having the public know that I am his as much as he’s mine… (pulls Nico close to press a kiss to his forehead) Perfect. Everything’s perfect.

—-

Comment section from the live video: NDAPS: HE SAID THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE OMG!!! EAT THAT PERCABETH SHIPPERS, YOU CAN HAVE YOUR GOLDEN COUPLE, WE HAVE OUR PLATINUM COUPLE! NicosAngel: 😭🥳😭🥳😭🥳😭 Perc4beth4evr: !!! Shituation: The way Nico closed his eyes, and his lips curling to the softest of smiles when Aeon pulled him close and kissed his forehead--- Dear God, I have a new reason to wake up everyday

—-

Kayla: That’s wonderful! All right, I won’t keep you guys any longer. I hope you enjoy the rest of the evening. And Nico, all the best for the awarding!

Kayla: (whispers, but microphone catches it) And all the best for your wedding.

Nico: (laughs) Thanks, Kayla. (walks into the event with Aeon, hand-in-hand)

[throwaway-yandere]

I want to be honest (no this has nothing to do with fics lmao youll get it as scheduled)

This post is an explanation as to why I consider myself as "retired". I know I've said it's because of studies, but that'll be 1/3 of the truth. I want to talk about the true three real reasons why, and I'll do my best to be straight to the point. This isn't a cry for help (I swear to the heavens it is NOT). This is just to clear out assumptions.

Here's the other two reasons:

Grief & Mental Health

Writing itself & interactions

Grief & Mental Health:

I'll pour my heart out, so I'm sorry if it's long. As I said, I'll be straight to the point, so: my grandfather around the first week of June. I remember how I received the news so vividly. I was listening to Two Birds while washing the dishes at 12 AM. My mom went down the stairs with my father, crying as they tell me the news that he's gone. We drove half an hour to the hospital where I get to pat his head one last time. I remember mindlessly wandering the hospital halls— I remember mindlessly using the free alcohol attached to a wall. I remember breaking down as I realized I just cleansed away the hand that last had contact with him. I remember every detail, from the ride home where I messaged my good college friend to tell her that she needs to be a good nurse because the public healthcare system in the country is awful. I remember silently hating everyone and everything. I remember thinking about how cruel it was that life took away the one relative who genuinely cared about me and I was sure was related to me by blood. I remember thinking how much I'm distant to everyone else on my mother's side except him. I remember feeling so empty. I remember not sleeping for two days straight.

But let's back track for a bit. Before his death, I did have one final conversation with him. He was sedated and tubed miserably. Deep down, I knew his time was coming. So, I just made jokes about how grandma was growing senile and mistook me for a nurse for ten whole minutes. Then, I thanked him for everything he's done, and told him I'll become an engineer. Just like him.

And now here I am, dorming 3 hours away from home. I dormed because I had nearly decided my life meant nothing after lack of sleep through daily commutes and workloads. But I am lonely and unwell. I don't know what I want in life. I don't know what I actually want to be, but I already shifted courses as a chemical engineering student. I was so stressed to the point I've accidentally cried to my chem professor in a phone call. I don't know what I'm doing with my scholarship and education if it's for no one. And I am scared that I'm draining my parents' already limited resource for nothing. That I'm wasting the scholarship my country had given me nothing. That I am wasting my people's taxes for nothing.

It was only when another friend told me that I seem to live my life based on other's decisions and opinions did I notice just why I'm incredibly miserable.

I know I don't have dreams for myself. And even if I did, how the hell will writing and drawing feed me in the future when the industry in this 3rd world country is absolute garbage?

I guess Asians really do the things they hate so they can get what they love. Okay, I'll stop making jokes.

I miss my long-time friends, Phitre and Frost. I also miss my old blockmates when I was a BSEd-Math student. I am too used to eating alone, studying alone, walking alone. I am too used to being an outsider. But I'm not used to silence. I'm not too used to hearing actual silence.

All I have is Discord and Messenger.

And even then, it's quiet.

Writing itself & Interactions

I love writing and drawing. I just hate posting it at this point, which is why I made another account that's purely interaction-based.

I love writing a lot— my happiness is turning shtposts into something terrifying. I don't like writing romances, I like the thrill instead. I like laughing like I'm Hubert from FE:TH after thinking of an evil plot twist.

But I hate posting it. Because I know, no matter how much effort I put it, it's not enough. No matter how long it is— no matter if you learned basic coding for it— drew art— made interactive google forms— it's just not enough. I literally made two long separate fics with different endings depending on your choices and it just performs less on something I didn't actually put anything on.

Lord.

Lord I hate Creative Differences for that. I finally understood why bands hate their hit songs because of that lol.

Don't comment something like "oh, you content creators are just whining—" I am whining. Why? Because we don't treat artists and writers like they're human enough. Like we're just uploading content and that we don't want to hear what the others have to say. I remember there was one ask telling me how they're gonna miss traumatizing their friend— and I'm just sitting there wondering "why didn't YOU tell me their reactions? Why are you making me feel like I'm talking to a brick wall for 2k words and more?" It's not their fault. I am not mad at this anon. They've done nothing wrong, but lord do I hate feeling like this.

I could follow "part 2???" requests, finish all my drafts for the events. But I know. I know the chances of the person who requested them won't actually answer after all the effort.

[insert Berkut's "all that effort, what is it all for?!" voice line from FE:Echoes here to lighten the mood]

But that aside.

It's just silence. Just notes, when I feel like comments are what matters more. I'm used to being alone, but I really hate silence. I hate it so much. That's why I'm always so grateful to the people who do interact often, and don't say that's not true because I can prove it. You can see me make content just for them, dedicate fics, art, everything. I love them, I love the "noise".

I know we all have lives, I know we're all busy, I know. I respect your time, I respect you.

And I think it's just time I respect myself as well.

So that's why I'm retired. No pressure on events (idol and letters), no pressure on anything. I'm actually taking my time in End Of Year Blues. It's nice.

Edit: I forgot to mention

My father hates that I write. He constantly tells me to stop it, to prioritize my academics, when writing is my only way of coping.

So.

Haha, what the hell do I even do anymore, right?

[witchy-writer-lady]

the most pathetic reincarnation ever

A little something that was on my mind for weeks now. This is pretty self-indulgent and self-insert - kinda? - so don't take this too seriously because I needed to write it down somewhere before it distracted me too much.

SI as Hikaru Kamiki's identical twin.

I have never given thought to how I would die.

Although I knew it would come eventually - everyone dies, I have lost family members to death before - the thought of dying scared me. Suddenly stopping existing, your soul moving to eternal peace. So because of this fear, I pushed such thoughts away, assuring myself I didn't have to think about this until I was old and wrinkly.

But the thing about death is...It comes unexpectedly and you are almost never prepared for it.

This is exactly what happened to me. One day, I was here and then I simply... wasn't. I can only offer my thanks to god for giving me a quick death so that I didn't have time to get scared or regret leaving my loved ones behind.

And that was supposed to be the end of my story.

Until it wasn't.

"Haruki-nii, wake up!" a voice suddenly yells in my ear.

Huh?! That's not my name at all! And why the hell Japanese with a male suffix which I understand all of a sudden? Startled, I open my eyes and sit up, only to come up face-to-face with a blond boy with violet eyes with a blue tint in them. But the most standing out feature were two stars in them. I only knew two people with such trait. And both of them were fictional. Not real.

And yet Kamiki Hikaru is here before my eyes.

No fucking way. This had to be a dream. A delirium before my soul moves on to heaven. It had to be. There's no other way to explain this. Wake up, wake up!

But no matter how hard, I urged, I did not wake up. Everything stayed the same.

Unaware of my panic, Hikaru gives me a concerned look. "Are you all right, Nii-san? You look sick. Are you that nervous about going to Lala Lai?"

I did not just look sick. I felt sick. And he keeps referencing me as older-my mind grinds to a halt at the name. Lala Lai.

"Lala Lai?" I croak out, throat dry.

"Of course!" Hikaru exclaims, incredulous at my answer. "It's our chance to get out of the orphanage and become famous actors! Shining Twins! Have you forgotten, Nii-san?"

But I have not heard the last question, stuck at one word. Twins. Canon Kamiki Hikaru did not have a twin. He just fathered one pair of twins. I jump out of bed, ignoring Hikaru's surprised shriek, and rush to the mirror in the room.

What greeted me in the reflection was the identical face to Hikaru with the same stars, panicked and pale. I couldn't deny the truth now. Not when it stared at me, showing the feelings I have felt at this very moment.

I was reborn as Kamiki Hikaru's twin. An older sibling to the man who would become so broken by the entertainment industry that he would turn psycho, manipulate, and kill people that had the "star quality". Ai, the girl he loved, and their son, would lose their lives to him.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to throw up.

What was the point of this? I know god works in mysterious ways and I believe he has a purpose, but reincarnation was only cool in fiction. In reality, it completely sucked as my situation showed. It wasn't even due to being related to the antagonist of the manga I read last - whose background and actions were really vague. The only things I know about Hikaru is that he was born in Kanagawa (apparently in an orphanage as he said moments before), graduated from the Faculty of Science, and after Ai broke up with him, that was the last straw for his trauma, and he caused the whole plot of Oshi no Ko.

Thanks for the meager info, Aka. (not).

No, that wasn't the main problem because...Lala Lai. What the actual fuck? While I loved to pretend to be various characters for fun, I do not think I'm cut out for professional acting despite having "eyes of the liar." How am I supposed to survive in the entertainment industry?! I'm no manipulator like Aqua or profiler like Akane. We look to be around ten which means...

Himekawa Airi. Her rape of Hikaru, Taiki's birth.

That's it. We are screwed. Both of us.

This is going to be the most pathetic reincarnation ever. Can I ask for a refund here anyone?

"Haruki-nii?" Hikaru calls again, cutting through my freak out. "Are you sure you're feeling well?"

Swallowing the bile and a hysterical giggle - Haruki, really? Hikaru read as "shine." Mine read as 陽輝 meaning "Sun. Sunlight." and "Brilliant. Splendid". Whomever our parents were, they were totally uncreative with our names - that rose up my throat, I turn towards the boy who was now my younger brother as my earliest memories with him filled my mind, including the promise he spoke of. That meant one thing.

It was official. I was stuck here so I better start adapting, I guess.

"Very sure!" I smile at him, making sure to keep my eyes shut so he wouldn't see through my pathetic attempt.

And that was my first lie as Kamiki Haruki in the world of Oshi no Ko, the world where lies are love.

[an-theduckin]

Billy Hendricks Character analysis

[DISCLAIMER: I am not justifying or condoning his actions, I am merely showing that he is not just a mindless villain and I'm exploring the depth of his character. This is probably obvious but yeah please don't come after me for this]

Billy Hendricks, kidnapper of Mark. He's a terrifying villain who has no redeeming qualities. Let's dissect that fucker cuz he's got a LOT of layers and depth.

First, let's see some context.

Billy Hendricks was a child actor, starring in 'my dear monster'. He was groomed and made into luring children into Big monster's sewers where Big monster kill them. When Big monster was caught, Billy's mom got him out of the show, saying she doesn't think a life in the spotlight is for her son. In that newspaper poster, Billy Hendricks is seen to be crying. In the poster above, Billy is smiling. Showing how he views Big monster as an inspiration and loves acting. Keep in mind that he was just a child when this all happened, he was supposed to become famous. This was supposed to be the film that make him really get famous in the film industry. He was about to get everything he ever wanted, but than in a flash, everything was taken away from him. He was taken away from what he loved most, acting. Now imagine how this would make him feel. Billy was a kid when this happened and he was an adult when he kidnapped Mark, this suggests that his hatred for Big monster (who's the reason he can't act anymore) has been burning for many years. He is still hung up on his dream, a dream that was shattered long ago and would never be possible to achieve again. This suggests that he cannot move on from the past. (Plus he's a theatre kid and theatre kids are dramatic as hell. Trust me I'd know, I'm a theatre kid too)

The way he act and treat Mark

I think it's obvious that Billy hates Mark, his hatred for Big monster transferring to Mark just because he's Big monster's nephew. His hatred for Mark just grows more and more episode, this can be seen because in the earliest episodes, he refer to Mark as his "best friend". For example, in the first episode he starts off with, "Hello kids! And welcome back, meet my best friend, Mark!" But he stops doing that in later episodes, just referring to Mark as his "friend" instead of "best friend". This subtle change hints that Hendricks is getting more and more impatient with Mark. He also constantly silence Mark for small reasons, in the first episode he just shook his head when he didn't want Mark to say that he want to see his parents, but in later episodes he go as far as to shutting up Mark by putting his hand on his mouth. He doesn't just normally do that too, in the picture below you can see that his grip on Mark is strong. That must hurt Mark. He probably does that on purpose as he resents Mark and is very impatient and hateful towards him.

Billy Hendricks feel as though he is achieving his childhood dreams by doing all this. This may be true because of the way he act. In the rain day episode, when they do those activities such as building a pillow fort, Hendricks actually look genuinely excited for it. He could just be good at pretending to be excited for camera, but it actually felt real. Him acting childish like this reinforces the idea that he is living in the past and hasn't move on from it. Even though he's not a kid anymore, he never grew up. This is also furthur proven because of the fact that he has a "signature outfit" and wears the same set of clothes since he was a child, showing how he never grew out of his childhood. Anyways so, in that episode they do three activities. Building pillow forts, making paper cut pictures, and playing hangman. In the first activity, he looks genuinely happy when Mark says he like the pillow fort that Billy made for him. He could just be acting to be happy, but I don't think that's the case. Because in the other two activities where it starts having a twist of him taunting Mark, he did look "happy" but not as geniune as he did in the pillow fort activity. The comparison can be seen in the pictures below. It's subtle but you can see it, the smile on the right picture looks fake. This implies that he sometimes forget that this isn't what he wanted, and has to remind himself that he isn't just doing this to make himself happy but to also torture Mark and get revenge.

His attitude switches up very fast. Most of the times he talk in a singing-ish tone, mimicking kids shows where they do that. But when he's angry, like for example when Mark tried to escape, his voice becomes firm and serious. This shows how he struggles to stay "in character" sometimes, because his hatred runs so deep that it can be hard to pretend to be this cheerful kids show host. When his voice is firm and he calls out for Mark, he usually emphasises on the 'k' sound of his name. This creates a plosive sound, illustrating that he is being rough in the moment.

Billy Hendricks is dedicated to make Mark suffer. Besides the very obvious tortures that he make Mark go through, he torment him in other more subtle ways too. Here are some examples where he does that.

In the Staying healthy episode, they look at the anatomy of a Little Monster. When Billy said that "It's important to stay healthy so your brain continues to think!", Mark continues the advice by saying, "and your heart continues to love!". But then Billy corrects him, saying, "Pump blood, Mark!". This illustrates Billy as shattering Mark's innocent view of life, contrasting how his childhood dream got shattered too (even though this is a less extreme extent of it)

In the Pet episode, Mark says that he knows alot about pets and suggest that maybe he could lead that episode. But Hendricks shut him off by saying, "I know alot about pets too, Mark". You can sense the anger in his voice when he says that line, suggesting that he gets mad when someone else gets the attention and not him. This ties in his whole character of him getting so much attention from his classmates because he was a child actor and people loved him, but then he got thrown off the spotlight later because of Big monster. His mother's line, "I just don't think a life in the spotlight is for my son" suggests that he doesn't get attention anymore. (Plus he's a theatre kid and theatre kids are attention seekers- yeah okay I'll stop bullying theatre kids now). This idea is further reinforced in the positivity episode, when Mark says that he made a sticky note saying "Yes you can!", Billy tries to get the attention back on him by saying "I wrote some sticky notes too Mark!". This shows how he wants the attention and spotlight on him, and gets mad when Mark tries to get attention too.

Billy Hendricks doesn't just torture and torment Mark himself, he forces Mark to do things he doesn't want to too. For example, in the cooking episode he pressures Mark into killing the paperbag monster, "Are you gonna skin it Mark? Or do I have to do it?", he says the second sentence with a hint of anger in his voice, implying that Mark will probably get tortured if he doesn't do what he ask him to do.

Billy even goes as far as to hurting himself to hurt Mark. Like in the episode where they go to sleep, he brushes his teeth until they're bleeding. He hurt himself just to scare Mark. This portrays him as someone who's dedicated to taunt Mark, and would do it at his own expense.

He also seeks to control Mark, like in the drug episode he says that he'll give drugs to Mark if he's good and go along. This may be because he was forced out of the film industry and it was all out of his control, so he wants control back.

Recurring themes

There's a lot of scenes where Billy Hendricks monologues. All of those monologues portray a pessimistic and negative view of life. He constantly puts a negative spin on things that Mark enjoy too. Some examples are in the Halloween episode where he put razorblades in Mark's candy and ask if it's still his favourite holiday, in the pet episode where he carelessly gave Mark a pet that he wanted who died of neglect, and the biggest example is the career day episode where he puts a negative spin to the jobs that Mark said he wanted to do. This links to how he was going to be a famous actor, but it didn't work out.

Billy Hendricks is presented to have a weird obsession with death and wasting your life. This can be seen especially in the career day episode, where he monologues, "There's only 2169 days until you have to choose a job and it creeps up on you fast. 60 years will pass and before you know it you'll be lying in your death bed wishing you had picked a different career to waste your life on". This may suggest that during the time between after he quit being a child actor and before he kidnapped Mark, he had 'wasted' the years by doing a job that he didn't enjoy. He believes that he would have been happy if he was an actor, but now he couldn't be one. This may be one of the reasons why he is portrayed to be very pessimistic.

His obsession with death is further explored in the kids episode where he says that a child is your peak because "you get showered with adoration and have lots of fun". He wants to be a child again because now he's miserable as an adult, but instead of trying to improve his adult life and moving on from the past, he took away another child's childhood. In that episode, he also taunts Mark by saying that in the adult world, life goes by very fast and that before he know it, he's gonna be too old to work and die. There are many more instances where he monologues about this, but these are the main ones.

There's also a recurring theme of toxic positivity. This is obviously shown in the last episode, the positivity episode. Where his 'inspirational' sticky notes say that everything is okay, while it's not. This is further shown in the posters where he says that you can do dangerous things because "everything works out".

The theme of toxic positivity is also seen in other episodes, like for example in the feelings episode where Billy asks Mark if the pictures are happy or sad. When Mark said that the picture of a dead penguin is sad, Billy says "No silly, all these images are happy". This may be because he was forced out of his dream yet he had to pretend to be okay with it at that time.

People who influence him

There were two people who were a major influence on him. His mom, and Big monster.

Let's talk about his mom first. She just wanted what was best for him, and she got him out of the film industry because she thought it was best for him. She was just looking out for her son, but she didn't realise the negative consequences that her actions would bring. Billy was just a kid and didn't fully understand why his mom would do that, she probably could have explained it to him better. But even if she did, Billy most likely would have just turn out this way anyways because his ambition was too strong. But still, if she did explain it maybe he could have turned out differently. Maybe he wouldn't have this much resentment in him.

Now let's talk about Big monster. He tricked Billy into luring his friend's brother, Johnny Hackett, into the sewers so he can kill him. He was Billy Hendricks' idol, Billy probably saw him in a rose-tinted light and never saw anything bad about him as he idolised him too much. But then he turned out to be a murderer who used Billy to get his victims. This may turn Billy into a pessimistic person, linking back to my point earlier, and would make Billy just expect the worst of everything. He's the main reason why Billy Hendricks became a kidnapper.

Ashur's acting skills

Ah yes, the very necessary ramble about how cool Ashur is. Skip this part if u wanna, I added this solely for myself <3

ASHUR IS SOOOOO GOOD AT ACTING LIKE WTF??? HE SLAYS THE ICONIC BILLYS THREATENING SMILE FACE LIKE HOLY SHITTT THAT MAN IS TERRIFYING!! HE EVEN SOMETIMES SCARE ME GENIUNELY LIKE HOLY FUCKING SHIT HES AMAZING. BILLYS VOOCE RANGE IS JUST SO PERFECT TOO AND NOT 2 MENTION THATS LIKE HIS FIRST TIME ACTING USING VOICE?? (HIS PREVIOUS ACTING SERIES ARE JUST TIKTOK POVS WHERE HE DOESNT TALK) HES LITERALLY SO COOL BRO HES LIKE MY NUMBER ONE INSPIRATION FOR ACTING!!! LIKE THIS MAN LOOKS ABSOLUTELY INSANE AND I LOVE IT!!

The cycle of abuse

The backstory of Billy Hendricks is very tragic. He was an abused child who turned into an abuser. It is important to recognise him as a human too and not just a cruel villain, this does not mean justifying his actions. I firmly believe that dehumanising villains is a bad thing to do, because if you so that you will separate yourself from them and won't recognise it when you're being an accidental asshole. So while I hate him for everything he has done to Mark, I still think we should also see him as a hurt person who continued the cycle of abuse. Let's just hope Mark doesn't do the same thing.

End notes

Ahhhhh I've been planning 2 make this post for so long now! And even though this post is like, VERY long, I still feel like I've only barely scratch the surface of his character. He's a very interesting and complex character n should be treated as such. Also, this is just the way I see him, you are allowed 2 disagree with me ofc! You can have a different opinion on him than me, and you can express it, but please just don't be rude about it! If you'd like 2 discuss his character further or is confused abt smth I said here, feel free 2 ask me abt it! I'm more than happy 2 do it (if you're nice with it ofc) :3

Anyways yeah I hope u enjoyed this character analysis of him, and please reblog if u did (no pressure) cuz it took me such a long time 2 make this TwT