#i'm absolutely sick with the both of them

[fissart]

https://www.tumblr.com/fissart/773942638075379712/whats-your-rook

Does he get pregnant 👀

Maybe 👀

Big storytime below 💖

When Quinton and Emmrich return to the Necropolis, they both face a lot of challenges settling back in. They had gotten engaged almost immediately, which created a bit of gossip amongst fellow Mourn Watchers. "Professor Volkarin- who took a year off from teaching to go and save the world has come back ENGAGED to that Ingellvar of all people. The nobody who caused a stir amongst the nobility, the one who went to war with the gods" suffice to say, not everyone was pleased with a respectable person like Emmrich to have paired off with Ingellvar. And in turn this created a lot of stress for them both, but mostly Quinton, who felt more insecure in his position beside Emmrich. (Quinton always had self-worth issues, having had an incredibly difficult and lonely childhood in the Necropolis and didn't find himself until his 20s)

ANYWAY, during this incredibly stressful period, Quinton returned to his work as a Mortian to keep busy and feel productive. Fighting off the stress and the gossip until they were old news and they could get on with their lives. However, barely a year back home Quinton started to get sick. Dizziness, insomnia, loss of appetite etc and both Quinton and Emmrich considered taking some time away if the stress of the Mourn Watch was taking a toll like THIS. But Quinton insists he will not run away, will not be bested by some stupid chit chat amongst those with nothing better to do. And then he started vomiting, constantly he couldn't keep anything down and this went on for weeks.

Both neither Quinton nor Emmrich suspected pregnancy. Both being so sleep deprived, Quinton only focused on getting through the day and sleeping where he could and Emmrich was so fixated and occupied on making the pain stop, to find food or tea that Quinton could stomach he never stopped to think of any other reason WHY he was so ill. And with Quinton so anti doctors and medical attention, he made it difficult to be seen, or examined for very long. He was always prescribed rest, water, and plain food till it passed.

It took them nearly 4 months till it clicked. One morning, while getting changed Quinton noticed something different, he looked oddly bloated. A small bump and within about 5 seconds it all finally clicked. He collapsed on rhe floor and sobbed. Fear, relief and absolute exhaustion took hold of him. Emmrich had heard all the commotion and burst in to see his Fiance crumpled in a heap on the floor. And before Emmrich could even ask what happened, Quinton blurts out "I'm pregnant!". Lots of tears were shed that day. Fears and uncertainties were discussed but the overall, they were both so relieved to know that the sickness was something joyous rather than an unknown sinister illness.

I've rambled enough, but the gist is Quinton had an incredibly rough pregnancy overall, the sickness continued all the way to labour and beyond and there were a few scares if Quinton and the baby would even survive. This led to some extremely nasty blowouts between Emmrich and Quinton but that's a story for another day 👌🏻

Thank you for the ask anon 💖

[rottenpumpkin13]

Angeal, Sephiroth and Genesis all start growing wings and becoming monsters, essentially defecting together to make it Shinra’s problem.

Who/what do they take with them?

No one could say precisely when it started. Sephiroth would claim it was the moment he first saw a wing on Genesis' back, and Angeal would argue it was when Genesis told them both he was leaving. Genesis, naturally, would blame Sephiroth for existing too perfectly and throwing the balance of the universe into disarray.

Regardless, the point was that one day, SOLDIER's elite began sprouting wings, and instead of doing the sane thing—seeing a doctor, maybe asking Hojo and Hollander what the hell was happening (not that they ever would)—they looked at each other, had one (1) conversation, and decided to make it Shinra's problem.

So they left. Defected. Just like that.

Except they weren't stupid, they were going to do something useful.

SOLDIER had been suspicious for a long time. Some of them were tired, some of them were sick and didn't know why, and some of them had spent too many years watching good men die, fighting Wutai, monsters and Shinra's own unchecked ambition. So when Sephiroth, Angeal, and Genesis stood before them, living proof that whatever was in their veins was changing them into something else, they listened.

And they followed. Not all, obviously. Angeal pulled Zack aside and told him, firmly, to stay put. Zack argued, because of course he did, but Angeal wouldn't budge. Zack wasn't ready to burn bridges. Not yet. Not ever, if Angeal had his way.

And so, the lines were drawn. (Sephiroth, for the record, had one hard rule: No clones, no copies, no Hojo-esque bullshit. If they were going to fight, it was going to be real).

At first, Shinra underestimated them. A few dozen SOLDIER defectors, even with Sephiroth, Angeal, and Genesis leading them, couldn't possibly stand against an entire mega corporation, right? Right? Wrong.

Shinra sent out waves of fighters and Turks. They cut through them. Shinra tried to use the media against them. Genesis countered with unsettlingly well-articulated emails to his unwavering fanclub.

Shinra tried to hunt them down. Sephiroth started hunting back.

They moved fast, striking at supply lines, freeing factory workers, taking down the worst of Scarlet's machines. But degradation still loomed. Genesis and Angeal were feeling it creeping in—the inevitable decay of their bodies, the slow disintegration into something inhuman.

Then Sephiroth, in a moment of absolutely reckless self-sacrifice (or devotion, Sephiroth would later argue), offered up his own cells. Unlike Hollander's garbage, they worked. No more degradation. No slow, agonizing descent into nothingness.

For the first time in a while, Genesis and Angeal were whole again. And so, freed from death's shadow, they settled down. Not permanently. Shinra was still trying to kill them, but they found a house. A quiet, tucked-away place in the country where they could breathe. The war wasn't over, but they could take breaks.

Until Zack showed up, SOLDIER First Class and all, to fight Shinra's battles.

Zack: You traitors won't get away with this! How could you abandon SOLDIER and everything we fight for!? Where's your honor? I'd never betray SOLDIER like this! You guys are evil!

*AGS are in the kitchen, cooking dinner, completely unfazed*

Angeal, wearing an apron: Yeah, yeah. Are you staying for dinner? I'm making extra lasagna, and for dessert, Genesis made apple pie.

Genesis: I'd love to hear more about your girlfriend, Aerith. Let me go grab some wine.

Sephiroth: If you want, you can help me set up this telescope so we can look at the stars after dinner.

Zack: Fuck SOLDIER, Fuck Shinra, Fuck President Shinra, fuck Rufus Shinra, fuck Heidegger, fuck Palmer, fuck Hojo, fuck the coffee machine in the breakroom that never works right, I quit. Pass me a plate.

[sugarcubeindulgent]

god knew better than to give ANY of the boys a girlfriend with thick thighs because the way all of them would absolutely go ape shit.

I can see jerry fucking in between them when shes asleep possibly drugged because A. He's a sick freak like that and B. There's no need to manually press her thighs together because theres already enough fat in her god blessed thighs to perfectly grip jerry's cock as he ruts himself in between her thighs all the meanwhile selfishly gripping her hips.

Pete would take such advantage of his perfect girlfriends thighs, 'persuading' her into letting him carve his name into BOTH her thighs because she "could take it." In his mind, since shes got the cushion for the pushing (not the right use of that but I DONT GIVE A FUUUUCK), she could take so much more. Ergo, that leads to him trying not to nut in his pants as she whimpered and occasionally let out those sweet sweet sobs as he dragged his switchblade into her soft skin. He was rock hard and the best part was that he was only on the second letter.

Josh is the most normal about it imo JUST BY A BIT THO HES STILL A HUGE LOOOOOSEER BUT he goes crazy every single time she walks while wearing one of his shirts, he sees the outline of her thighs and that brings him to either jerking off to that mental image (and more) after she leaves OR begging to eat her out so he can suckle, kiss and basically slobber on the inner part of her thighs for fifteen minutes, claiming it to be 'foreplay'.

Bill now.. oh billy boy. If he somehow bagged a girl with thick thighs, he would absolutely find a way to mix his filthy misogynistic thoughts into it. Constantly muttering to himself of how no matter how much of a 'feminist' she claimed to be, she would always have her body as a reminder of how she will always be nothing but a 'stupid bitch of a woman.' OKAY ON THE FLIPSIDR OF THAT. Bill would probably fold not only more often but MUCH more easier for him to do so. Wear one of his shirts and nothing but that and underwear? You could ask him to buy a million dollars worth of.. whatever and he'll js aimlessly mutter an incoherent 'yes hes rock hard and a syllable away from ruining his jeans.

ALRIGHT I js wanted to splatter my thoughts and PERHAPS get some of ur own opinion because if im being totally honest, I absolutely adore you characterisation and love your work in general. BUUH BYYEEE (sorry if it doesn't make sense LOL)

i am fucking these headcanons and concepts actually.

i literally agree with every single one !! we have the same brain, anon, i'm smooching you and i am so glad you shared this with me <\3 jorking it and by it...i mean my peanits...and thank you for the praise after giving me such beautiful and accurate visuals.

[mischievouslittlecreature]

Thank you so very much, Brummie! I hope that you're feeling better after being so sick! 🖤

I think that you're probably right that there is a part of Lizzie doing this to get back at Lucy. Even if she's not entirely aware of it. She wants to her hurt her for "taking" Tommy from her.

You're absolutely right that he's already pretending. He tries his best to keep Lizzie happy, because it's the most sure way to make sure that she doesn't lash out at Lucy, and makes her generally easier to deal with.

I'm so glad you liked the little moment with Trouble. She and Tommy love each other, but she also lives to torment him 😂. I feel like with how handsy they are with each other that all the animals have been treated to a show at some point 🤭.

I'm glad you liked Gina and Michael's entrance. Lucy is so done with both of them already. I agree that Lucy tends to prefer underdogs, and people like Gina with superiority complexes make her livid.

I may have been projecting my own feelings a little onto those lines about Michael 😂. I was so mad at him the first time that I watched the show and his audacity to act like he didn't deserve the spanking he got for his dumb decisions 🙄.

Hehe, I love writing Lucy being a little mad/unhinged at times. Tommy was for sure delighted that he made her laugh.

Thank you so much as always for your wonderful comments, Brummie! The next chapter is gonna be a dramatic one! 🤭

Part 26: Do You Love Me

Summary: Tommy and Lucy read Lizzie's letter and meet with Michael after his return from America.

Word Count: 5,823

Warnings: Smut, blowjob, polyamory, references to pregnancy, and an unhappy marriage.

Previous Chapter • Series • Fic • Next Chapter

Chapter 6: A Display in the Dark

“Fucking hell.” 

That was the first thing that passed Tommy’s lips when he was done reading the letter Lizzie had given Lucy to pass onto him. Lucy watched him toss the pages of closely-scrawled words onto his desk, ripping off his glasses to set down beside them. 

She’d read the letter over his shoulder, squinting at the various spelling and grammatical errors throughout. Lucy wondered if maybe Lizzie had been drunk while writing at least some of it. She didn’t remember any of the work that she’d done as Tommy’s secretary being so sloppy.

The contempt which seemed to bleed out through the words scrawled on the pages was a stark contrast from the apologetic, saddened Lizzie she had spoken to not even an hour ago. But she supposed that she shouldn’t be all that surprised. That was how Lizzie was: sweet one moment, then wrathful in the next.

And to think that they all called her two-faced.

“I can’t really say if that was what I was expecting or not,” she commented, turning to look out the window at the darkened grounds. “What do you want to do about it?”

Tommy leaned back in his chair to rub at his eyes. He looked exhausted, dark circles swelling beneath his blue irises. “Nothing right now.”

She frowned. “Nothing? She’s talking about divorce, Tommy.”

“Yeah. If I don’t change.” His hand dropped to fold with the other in his lap, thumbs twiddling. “I don’t think that I can, Lucy,” his voice was quiet. She drew in closer to him, his distress serving like a beacon that summoned her to climb into his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing his forehead. 

“You shouldn’t have to just to make her happy.” If she really loved him, she’d have loved him as he was, rather than demanding he change everything about himself just to please her. It baffled her that Lizzie couldn’t understand that.

Tommy dropped his face to rest against her collarbone, thumb circling around her hip bone after his hands came to rest on her waist.

“So what do we do?” she asked, nose pressing into his soft hair. “Let her leave? I’m not saying that I wouldn’t be opposed to it, but it’ll kick up all sorts of other problems…”

“I know,” he sighed, the puff of breath warm on her skin. “I’ll talk to her first. See if I can think of something to at least indulge her for a little while.”

“She acts like she’s living some horrible, deprived life.” She looked around at the enormous, ornate room they were seated in. Lined with bookshelves and expensive furniture with custom-made paintings hanging on the walls. “Outside of your love, it’s not like she wants for anything here.” 

“Every time that I think she’s getting better, that she’s starting to accept…things, she slides back to where she was before.” He leaned closer into her. “I don’t know what more to do for her. I’m not sending you away, and I can’t pretend to feel about her in a way that I don’t.”

“Mm. She’d probably know you’re pretending and just get more angry about it, anyway.” Lucy started to stroke his hair. Her gaze drew back to the letter still laid out on the table, eyeing in warily. “I am surprised that she didn’t try to demand that you get rid of me.” It had been a notable omission in the letter, considering she knew that it was a spot of deep contention for Lizzie. Maybe, just maybe, that was a sign of some miniscule of progress. 

“She knows that’s not an argument she’s going to win.”

Lucy leaned back just enough to be able to cup one of his cheeks, smiling a little in spite of herself at his eternal protectiveness over her. “Is it terrible that knowing that makes me happy?”

He shook his head, arms tightening around her. “She flat out refused to apologize for what she said about you, did you know that?”

“I figured as much.” She thought back to her latest chess game with Lizzie; how Lizzie had notably apologized for Charlie overhearing, but not for what she’d actually said. 

“You’re not terrible,” he asserted firmly, leaning in to kiss her. “Not even a little.”

“Well…” she smiled against his lips. “I have killed quite a lot of people.” She giggled between kisses at the approving purr that came from his chest. 

“And your point is…?”

She laughed at his unbothered tone, kissing him back more firmly, humming when one of his big hands found its way into her hair. 

“Let’s not worry about her anymore right now,” Tommy whispered, tugging her closer.

A pang of remorse crackled through her at how easy it was for both of them to put Lizzie out of their minds. But then Tommy’s tongue slid into her mouth, and she became guilty of the very thing she’d moments ago been feeling ashamed of. 

“It’s late,” he murmured, arms squeezing around her. “Let’s go to bed.” 

She nodded in agreement, kissing him once more before climbing from his lap, biting back a grin at the way he chased her with his lips, a small whine leaving his throat. Taking hold of his hand, she pulled him up out of his chair, starting to lead the way around his desk and to the door. 

“Wait,” he came to a stop. She watched as he gathered up the pages of Lizzie’s letter. His hand was still clutched firmly in hers, meaning that she was pulled along with him when he went to the fireplace. Kneeling, Tommy started to feed the first page of the letter into the cheerily crackling flames, watching it catch and start to blacken and curl at the edges before tossing it the rest of the way into the inferno. He divided the pages evenly between the two of them, and together they fed page after page of Lizzie’s letter into the fire, watching as the messy scrawl and resentful black words were swallowed up and eradicated completely. 

“Feeling better?” Lucy asked, leaning her head against Tommy's shoulder, rubbing her hand up and down his arm. 

“Yeah,” he kissed her hair, then doused the fire. Taking her hand again, he stood. “Come on.”

They made it back to her room in record time, Tommy practically pouncing on her as soon as the door was shut. Lucy giggled as his mouth crashed down onto hers, cupping both sides of his face while his hands ran all over her. The warmth of his palms burned through her clothes, grabbing at the swell of her hips, then making their way up to squeeze her clothed breasts. Her thighs pressed together as an ache began to build between them. Movements quick, if a little fumbling, she set to work at getting him out of his clothes.  

His chest rumbled under her palms once she’d pushed his button-down off of his shoulders and slid the undershirt over his head, smoothing her hands across his naked skin. He’d been hard at work getting her own clothing unfastened, and it did not take long for her to be entirely bare before him. Arms going around his neck, she let out a rasped moan into their kiss as he palmed one of her breasts with one hand, thumb running over her hardened nipple. 

“Tommy…”

“I know. I know. Come here.”

She hadn’t thought it possible for them to get any closer, and yet somehow he managed, hand on the center of her back pressing her tighter against him, and then he began to walk them with somewhat staggering steps in the general direction of the bed. 

He groaned lowly when her hands slipped lower to cup the growing bulge in his trousers, giving him a soft squeeze that had him bucking into her hand. The backs of her legs knocked against the mattress, and then he was laying her down gently onto it, catching himself with his hands planted on either side of her head as he lowered himself on top of her. 

The groan he released into her mouth as she hitched her legs up around his waist was delicious. She could feel his bulge pressing into her belly, his mouth moving more insistently on hers while his hands roamed her body. A whine left her lips when he pinched one of her nipples, legs tightening around him. He groaned again against her mouth, migrating from her lips to her neck, and she suddenly found herself very annoyed that he was still wearing his trousers.

As he moved to lavish her breasts with his mouth, she ran her fingers calculatingly down his strong back, feeling the shift and flex of his muscles as he moved over her. He was exquisite. The most beautiful man she’d ever seen. Hands moving lower, she circled her fingers around his belt loops and pulled him closer, giving an impatient yank to his belt buckle for good measure. 

Tommy chuckled, tongue encircling one of her nipples before drawing it into his mouth. She jumped when his hand found its way between her thighs, testing her wetness with two fingers. 

“Impatient,” he tutted at her whimpering and pushing her hips closer to his hand, trying to get his fingers to go deeper inside her. 

“Tease,” she shot back, glaring playfully up at him. The wolfish grin splitting his face only grew, eyes dancing deviously with it. His thumb rolled across her clit, and she made a rather undignified sound, back arching. “Tommy, please.”

“Mm, but what if I want to keep you like this?” he cocked his head in mock contemplation, long lashes fluttering innocently against his cheekbones. “Keep you squirming and begging for me…” he grazed his lips across her cheek and curled his fingers inside her, just brushing up against the spot that had her head tipping back with a soft sigh. “That’s it…” his lips ghosted over her cheek as he leaned in closer, drawing his fingers out, slowly trailing them up and down her folds. Then slowly sinking them back in. At her moan and back arching, he pressed his body closer to hers. “That’s it.”

“You could at least take your trousers off,” she pouted, reaching around to give his clothed ass a squeeze. Her gaze went to the sizable bulge still pressing into her thigh. “Aren’t you uncomfortable?” 

His hips shifted a little, no doubt feeling the tightness of the fabric constraining around his bulging cock. Sneaking her hand between them, Lucy cupped him in her palm, feeling the weight and pulse of his flesh even through the thick material of his clothes. A low grunt left Tommy’s lips, erection pushing into her hand. 

Lucy grinned, but her triumph was short-lived. His fingers retracted from her cunt, both hands seizing hers, pinning them to the mattress by her head.

“Behave,” he growled, with no real weight or threat behind the word. Lucy smirked up at him, turning her hands to instead thread their fingers together, angling her head up to kiss him. 

“No.” Soon as he was distracted by the press of their lips together, she squeezed at his hands, tightened her legs around his waist, and gave a strong twist to her hips. Rolling them so that he was the one with his back to the mattress. “I don’t think that I will,”  she whispered against his mouth, taking his face in both of her hands. 

Tommy’s eyes widened, surprise quickly melting away into delight. She felt where their chests were pressed together as his breath caught, hands going to her waist and lips curling upwards. Showing no complaint at her sudden seizing of the reins, he merely drew her closer, encouraging her to grind down onto him. 

She indulged him for a moment before becoming impatient again, rising off to pull free his belt and push his trousers and shorts off. Tommy obediently lifted his hips to help her, and it wasn’t lost on her how he let out a soft sigh of relief as his cock was freed from the straining material to bob against his stomach. Red and throbbing.   

Wrapping her palm loosely around him, thumb teasing at the weeping tip, she maneuvered herself to kneel between his legs. Tommy propped himself up on his elbows, watching as she eyed her prize where it pulsed in her hand. 

Fixing her gaze squarely on his, she leaned forward, and licked a stripe across the tip. With a groan, Tommy tipped his head back, eyes fluttering closed as she gave just the tip of him a few sucks. His mouth dropped open when she started to take in more of him, breathing deeply through her nose to help relax her throat. 

His groans only encouraged her to keep going as she set to work. Even when he hit the back of her throat and she almost gagged. One of his hands weaved through her hair, resting gently on the back of her head and helping guide her bobs on his cock. 

“Fuck, sweetheart,” he grunted, erection twitching heavily on her tongue. “Don’t stop. Just like that. Ohhhhh…” a drawn out, delicious sound left his lips at her movements. 

It did not take long for her to start to feel the tension mounting in his thighs, his noises growing louder and more guttural as he neared his peak. Bracing her hands on his thighs, she gave him one last long, hard suck, and then pulled off completely. Tommy made a sharp whining sound, head raising slightly to peer down at her with lust-drunk eyes. Lucy smiled, climbing onto the bed to straddle him again, taking his cock back into her hand. 

Sitting up, he looped an arm around her shoulders, their faces so close that their noses brushed. Tommy’s mouth was open, eyes blown wide. Lucy felt something in her stir at the sight of him so needy. 

“Tell me you want me,” she requested, leaning into him, eyes fluttering when one of his hands flattened out at the center of her back, holding her close. His huge erection twitched in her palm.  

“I want you,” Tommy groaned, her hand tightening around his cock at the same time that he spoke. “I always want you.”  He traced the shape of her bottom lip with his thumb and she closed her eyes, turning her head to kiss his fingertips. Their foreheads came to rest against each other, and she started to guide him inside of her. 

Eyes closing at the stretch of taking him, she gripped at his shoulders, Tommy pressing kisses to her collarbone and thumbs drawing circles into her skin while she got adjusted. Lucy buried her face in his neck. He smelled like a smoky campfire in the middle of the woods at night, warm and welcoming with an edge of danger and melancholy.  

Locking her fingers in his hair, she gently tipped his head back, angling her face down to kiss him softly, and starting to move. Tommy groaned, gripping onto her thigh, fingers pressing into her skin tight enough to probably leave bruises. His eyes gazed into hers, fluttering when she traced over the sharp lines of his jaw.

There was nowhere in the world where she felt safer than in the circle of his arms. There was always such a gentleness to the way that he handled her. A tenderness. Like the mere thought of hurting her was too much for him to bear. 

She had never felt so loved. So cherished. So wanted. Whenever her insecurities started to get the better of her, all it took was this. The joining of their bodies. Their very beings molding together. His hands on her and his eyes looking at her like she was the most precious thing in the entire world. Hips moving in time with hers, slow and deep as they worked together to bring them both to the peak of pleasure. Making love in such a way that it was impossible for her to doubt the existence of his feelings for her. 

“Tommy,” she croaked out, hips still rolling into his, every bounce on his cock sending her nerve endings alight. His arms flexed, helping to support her weight. Their mouths were both open, moaning into the dark air of the bedroom, the bed frame starting to creak under their bodies. Lucy’s walls fluttered and tightened, the familiar warmth of an approaching orgasm building in her lower belly, clit twitching. 

He brushed some hair that had fallen forward out of her face, cupping her cheek gently. A guttural groan left his chest when she took a moment to pause between thrusts just to grind on his cock, her eyes rolling at the pressure that doing so put on her clit. At this angle, his thick tip was pressing into her most sensitive spot. Taking hold of one of his hands, she guided it down until his fingers were at her clit, his digits immediately starting to rub in tight little circles. 

Lucy’s breath stuttered in her lungs, back arching to press her breasts even more firmly against his chest. He growled lowly, thrusting his hips up more sharply into her, pressing down hard onto her clit. She cried out, the band inside her snapping, firelight exploding behind her eyes as she came. 

Tommy caught her in his arms as her muscles gave way, clutching her close with a hand still on her back and the other cupping the back of her head. His hips continued to buck up into her, drawing out her orgasm while he approached his own. Lucy burrowed against him, letting him guide her through her high, gasping softly at the sensation of his cock swelling larger within her. 

Grazing her teeth across his freckled shoulder, she felt more than heard Tommy moan, and then he was leaning back, staring into her face, nuzzling their noses together. He kissed her hard, pumping in one last time, gasping her name out into her mouth as she felt his cock pulse and start to release a heavy load inside of her. 

Cupping his cheeks, she watched his face when he came, grunting softly with pleasure, eyelashes fluttering while he gazed at her. She gave an experimental little bounce on his still emptying cock, earning herself a louder, deeper moan from him. Eyes slipping closed, his hands grabbed at her hips to keep her still.

“Too sensitive,” he mumbled, starting to pepper kisses along her shoulder. Lucy hummed, immediately ceasing all movements to instead just snuggle him. Her arms wound around his neck, stroking his hair, lips finding his cheek.

Slowly, he reclined them both back onto the pillows. Lucy gingerly slipped off of his softening cock, and Tommy drew her in close to his chest, his fingertips starting to trace along her back. The skin was a mess of scars. Yet another gift Luca had given her during the three days she’d spent bound in the basement of a church with him. The cat o’ nine tails he’d whipped her with had done its job well, the pale skin twisted and marred.

She hated looking at it. Hated even thinking about it most of the time. All it did was remind her of those tortuous days. Not to mention made her feel so repulsed at her own reflection she could barely look in the mirror without gagging. 

And yet Tommy’s gentle, adoring touch on them helped soothe some of the disgust she felt towards herself. Despite her best attempts to hide them from him, he’d seen all the scars that covered her body more times that she could count. Never once had he indicated even the slightest revulsion towards them. Under his gaze and hands, she almost was able to feel beautiful.  

“You okay?” His voice interrupted her thoughts, and she wondered if he had been able to sense her getting lost in her own head again.

“Yeah,” she said, getting more comfortable on his chest. Tilting her head up, she looked into his blue eyes, seeming to practically glow in the otherwise darkness of the room. With the passion of desire clearing from her head, thoughts about the future—and their current roster of problems��were making themselves known again. “Tommy, what are we going to do?”

“About Lizzie?”

“Yeah.”

He was quiet for a long moment. “I don’t know,” he finally admitted. “I can’t give her what she wants, and I don’t know what else to do to make her happy.”

“Me neither.” Their voices were quiet despite it only being them in the room.

“Maybe if I sit her down and try to explain a couple things to her…” Tommy suggested. 

“What kinds of things?”

“Just…how things are in my head.”

Lucy pushed herself up slightly on her arms to get a better look at him. “You’ve tried to let her in on multiple occasions. She always either ignores you or changes the subject.” It drove Lucy absolutely batty, to have to listen to Lizzie whine and cry about how Tommy ‘never let her in’ when she herself had seen him on multiple occasions try to open up to Lizzie, only for Lizzie to show no interest in what he was actually attempting to communicate to her. It was no wonder that over time he’d more or less given up any attempts at emotionally connecting with her. 

“Yeah,” his chest went up and down with his sigh. Lucy stroked his skin in sympathy, wishing terribly that there was something–anything–that she could do to make it better. 

“I’m sorry.”

His head angled down to look at her, caressing her cheek with the back of his hand. The arm around her tightened, bringing her closer so he could kiss her forehead. “You make it all easier, you know.” His lips moved against her skin as he spoke before drawing back to look into her eyes. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

She felt herself flush, looking bashfully down, busying herself with trailing a hand through his chest hair. “You’d survive.”

“No,” his voice was deadly serious, Her gaze snapped back up to his, eyes wide. “I don’t think that I would.”

Her brows drew in, lips parting, head cocking a little to the side. She reached for him, both hands resting on his cheeks. He leaned into her touch, eyes sliding closed, a hand covering one of hers. “Tommy…”

“It’s alright,” he kissed the center of her palm. 

“I couldn’t survive without you either.”

He gave her a look of deep understanding, kissing her softly on the lips. “C’mere.”

She let him pull her back into snuggling against him, closing her eyes with a soft sigh at how warm and comfy he was. 

There was a sudden change in the weight on the bed, as a tiny little figure hopped up onto the mattress, searching for a warm place to join in the cuddle pile. 

At the sudden, unexpected arrival of the cat, Tommy yelped in a way so unbecoming of one of England’s most feared gangsters that it sent Lucy into a fit of giggles. Trouble meowed, tail flicking back and forth, little paws picking carefully over the comforter towards them. Lucy kept on laughing, pressing a hand to her mouth to try to stifle it as Tommy scrambled to pull the blankets up around them.

“It’s just Trouble, love,” she snickered. 

“Where the hell did she come from!?” 

“She must’ve been hiding under the bed or something.”

He stared at her with wide, horrified eyes. “Do you think she was watching us?”

“Probably.” She raised an eyebrow when Tommy seemed to shrink a little into the pillows. Trouble padded over to her, purring when Lucy started to give her scratches under the chin. “You’re fine with other women watching us fuck, but the cat is where you draw the line?”

He just harrumphed in exasperation, raising a hand to rub down his face.  Lucy rolled her eyes fondly, giving him a kiss in the center of his chest before turning her attention back to their cat.

“Hey, sweetie,” she cooed when Trouble rubbed her head against her palm. She then settled herself against Tommy’s side opposite where Lucy was laying, curling into a tight ball against him with a purr. 

Like mother, like daughter, Lucy thought with a small smile as Tommy dropped his hand to pet Trouble’s back. She let her head rest back onto his chest, stroking over his ribs. 

“She better mind the claws this time,” Tommy muttered, but made no move to push Trouble away. Lucy bit her lip to try to stifle a grin at the memory of Trouble climbing over his bare chest one night to get close to her. She’d woken up to him yelping in complaint of the scratches the cat had left in his chest, Trouble meowing back at him defiantly when he tried to scold her. 

Tommy’s fingertip found the underside of her chin, tilting her head up. 

“Oh, you find this amusing, do you?”

“Mhm.” She pressed her still smiling lips together.

He snorted, shaking his head, unable to fully keep the amusement out of his eyes. “The fucking cheek I get in this house, I swear…”

Laughing, she stretched up to kiss him once more. 

∗ ∗ ∗

Polly was already at the Garrison when Lucy arrived with Tommy and Arthur. Pacing from side to side like an irritable cat, black cigarette clutched between her fingers, she eyed them warily upon their arrival and subsequent movements to go stand by the bar. 

“You armed?” she asked them. At all three of their answers to the affirmative, Polly pursed her lips. Lucy raised an eyebrow at her request that they put their weapons behind the bar in case tempers flared. While Arthur irritably dumped the bullets in his gun out and then tossed the empty weapon onto the table, Lucy looked to Tommy for instruction, ready to follow his lead on whether or not he acquiesced to Polly’s request. After a moment’s hesitation, he reached into his suit jacket and removed his gun from its holster, turning and setting it on the bar behind him. Lucy mimicked his movements, hoisting herself up on her arms to perch on the edge of the bar next to Tommy, reaching behind her to lay her gun down next to his.

She busied herself fishing a cigarette from her pocket and lighting it while Tommy talked to Polly about the dream he’d had of a black cat. Which, according to Polly’s teachings, meant that there was a traitor close by. Polly’s face remained immovable the entire time. She had told them Michael was telling the truth when he said he didn’t betray them, but they would never be able to fully trust Polly when it came to Michael. She might lie to protect him. Or her motherly love for him could cloud her judgment. 

Lucy was living proof that Polly’s perceptions of people weren’t always entirely correct, after all. 

There was the sound of a car approaching outside, and Polly went to the front door to greet her son and his new wife. Tommy’s hand landed on Lucy’s thigh, smoothing up and down, warm even through the thick fabric of her trousers. She scooted a tad closer to him, until her thigh just barely brushed against his shoulder when he was leaning against the bar, sensing that he was in need of the closeness. 

Polly came back in with Michael and Gina right behind her. Lucy took them both in with a careful, analytical eye. 

They looked well. Michael had his hair slicked back, a fine beige coat draped over his suit. His face was the same as it had been the day he left for America, but his eyes were different. Colder. Harder. More guarded. 

His wife, Gina Gray–formally Nelson, Lucy’s hasty research on her had revealed– stood beside him in her expensive furs. Blonde curls were styled carefully around her face, lips pressed in an eternally smug expression. 

Lucy hated her from almost the first moment she laid eyes on her. 

Snobbishness seemed to ooze from her, looking at them as if they were scum on the bottom of her shoe. A smirk danced across her lips, eyeing Tommy up before turning her gaze to Lucy. Her eyebrow raised as she zeroed in on the closeness of Lucy’s thigh to Tommy’s shoulder. Lucy stared back at her challengingly, half daring her to say something. Gina’s eyes met hers unflinchingly. Lucy cocked her head. 

Little girl wants to come play with the gangsters, now does she?

Gina finally broke the silent stare-down, looking back at Tommy. Lucy kept her gaze focused on her for a moment longer, then returned to assessing Michael, who had started talking almost as soon as he and Gina had entered. Lucy wondered if he thought that if he could get a head start on the conversation, then he could control where it went. 

When Tommy ordered Michael to sit down, he ignored him. Lucy’s eyes narrowed to slits at the blatant disrespect.

The boy had forgotten his place.

He should have come in there crawling on his hands and knees, begging them for forgiveness. Already he was extremely lucky to not have been greeted with a razor to his throat upon his arrival in England. 

Instead, he stood there, and told them all about how he had come so close to betraying them, but oh, no, they should be grateful. They should be proud. Because his precious, smug little wife had stopped him. Even though he said it himself that he had already betrayed them in his heart. 

Did he really not understand how significant that already was?

Did the idiot really not see how with every word, with every second that he continued to ignore Tommy’s order that he sit his ass down, he was only digging his own grave deeper?

“I told you to sit down, Michael,” Tommy finally interrupted. It wasn’t quite a snarl, but it was close. He’d clearly taken note of the blatant dismissal of his authority just as she had. 

Michael went quiet. Then reached over to pull out the nearest chair to him at the table Polly had sat down at. But before he sank into it, he looked up at Tommy, and for a brief, sliver of a second, Lucy saw a look flash in his eyes of such ice-cold contempt, it could have given her frostbite.

It was gone just as quickly as it had appeared, but she knew that she hadn’t imagined it. She had felt the chill, the instinctive break-out of gooseflesh across her arms. The prickling at the back of her neck. 

Danger was close by. Right in front of them. 

There was an enemy in the room with them. Her gaze flickered briefly to Gina once more. Maybe even more than one. 

The chair creaked, barely audibly, as Michael finally lowered himself into it. Gina leaned against the pillar beside him. 

Tommy spoke slowly, each word carefully plucked, commanding Michael to tell him what happened on the ship in Belfast. 

Lucy’s eyes narrowed as they listened to Michael’s story of how the Billy Boys had boarded the ship he and Gina had been on. They’d been offering a deal, Michael said, to help destroy Tommy. But then the IRA had interrupted them. He failed to elaborate on what happened with the Billy Boys and the IRA before Captain Swing took him captive. 

When Polly tried to prompt Michael into actually saying that he did not deal with the Billy Boys, he gave her no straight answer. Instead he deflected with a weak smile, reaching for Gina’s hand, and announcing that he and Gina had gotten married because Gina was pregnant. 

The whole room filled with stony silence, everyone looking expectantly to Tommy for his verdict.

Slowly, he nodded. “Okay, Michael. I believe you. Welcome home. Congratulations. Just remember…your unborn child has witnessed what you said…”

“Thomas!” Polly exclaimed, horrified.

“And it will be born accordingly.” 

Michael just about launched himself out of his chair was a furious roar, impeded only by Arthur calmly stepping between him and his brother. Polly jumped from her seat. Tommy just blinked calmly, not moving. 

Lucy burst into hysterical, mad-sounding cackles. 

Even as Michael spat vitriol at Tommy from over Arthur’s shoulder, Tommy hardly even batted an eye, merely raising an eyebrow at his cousin. Lucy's unhinged cackles began to subside into quiet giggles. From behind Michael, she saw both Polly and Gina shoot her disturbed, puzzled looked. She just grinned, swaying back and forth delightedly, raising her cigarette to her lips. 

She failed to see what all the fuss was about. If Michael was telling the truth, then he ought to have nothing to worry about.  

The instructions that Tommy gave Michael regarding what he was to do next seemed only fair. He’d lost their company a lot of money. And yet Michael’s look of fury didn’t fade. Entitled cunt. Did he really think that they wouldn’t make him pay them back what he owed them? 

It was Gina who ended up drawing her husband away. Crooning in her harsh American accent, the smug expression that had wavered only briefly at Tommy’s threat back firmly in place. Polly stormed out the door after them, expression hardened when she looked at Tommy before leaving. Arthur locked the door behind them. 

Tommy grabbed his gun from behind the bar, passing Lucy hers so she could tuck it away into her suit jacket. The three of them gathered around the table in the center of the empty pub to debrief, Arthur meticulously sliding the bullets back into the chamber of his revolver while Tommy poured some whiskey. 

“What do we think?” Arthur asked. 

“If anything I’m more suspicious of him than I was when he came in,” Lucy took the glass Tommy offered her. “I don’t like how he deflected with Gina’s pregnancy there at the end.”

“Yeah. He never did answer Polly’s question, did he?” Arthur snorted, shaking his head, gaze going to his younger brother. “Tom?”

“So we’re all in agreement,” Tommy said slowly. “We don’t trust him.”

“So what do we do next?” Arthur asked, fingers pausing where he’d been about to slide the final bullet home in its chamber. 

Tommy cleared his throat, pursing his lips together. His eyes met Lucy’s, and she sighed. 

“Just suspicious words aren’t going to be enough to convince Polly,” she concluded.

“We keep him on a tight leash, for now.”

They all unanimously agreed. Michael would hate every second of it, but they needed to be sure. 

Lucy thought back to the landmines she and Tommy had dug out of the garden, little specks of dirt still wedged in deep under her nails, and shivered.

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[iridescentmirrorsgenshin]

How close do you think Kaveh and Alhaitham were back in the Akademiya times?

Hiya! Akademiya days haikaveh are so precious to me, so thank you for giving me an opportunity to ramble about them <3

Outside of the character stories detailing their argument, Alhaitham and kaveh’s initial friendship is most touched upon in-game in their current, informed knowledge of each other - when we first meet kaveh, alhaitham says that he knows kaveh extremely well, and kaveh describes the perceived flaws of alhaitham’s personality

there are a few mentions of their initial friendship during kaveh’s hangout where kaveh discusses first approaching alhaitham in the library, as well as them briefly discussing their joint thesis and the reason for its abandonment, and kaveh also mentions that over an undefined number of years, he and alhaitham have discussed, or ‘argued’, about kaveh’s philosophies

Also, their past friendship is mentioned in a parade of providence when alhaitham uses the language he and kaveh learnt together during this thesis in order to solely communicate with him, which creates an exclusive intimacy between the two

Outside of in-game information about their past closeness, alhaitham’s character stories outline their friendship, but only in reference to their joint project, where it’s explained that they fell out due to differing perspectives – which is similar to what he says to the traveller in kaveh’s hangout

Overall, other than describing kaveh as his ‘former friend’, alhaitham’s character stories omit any significant detail regarding their friendship, as well as omitting any detail after his graduation, other than moving into the house he and kaveh would have shared, and then how alhaitham met him once more when kaveh was bankrupt

Other than kaveh, there is no mention of alhaitham maintaining or even forming any other friendships in his time at the akademiya – and this is highlighted in his character story where it states that due to his detachment from others, he only partook in one joint project in his student life, and that was with kaveh, with kaveh leaving it up to alhaitham to decide the topic for their project

Alhaitham shares the same values as kaveh when it comes to their opposing philosophies being a strength, as the topic he picks harmonises their mirroring fields of interest. Additionally, this is highlighted in his character stories where he believes he and kaveh are mirrors of each other, and that this is essential in achieving a ‘perfected’ vision. It’s only when personal issues arise that this harmony is threatened, and that it is ‘personality’ issues, rather than philosophical issues which is the basis for their falling out

the surfacing of their issues stems from kaveh’s desire to help the others involved in their project at the cost of his efforts - this is more speculatory, but as kaveh left it with alhaitham to decide the topic, it could be that a group project wasn’t what alhaitham had in mind when agreeing to collaborate with kaveh.

in alhaitham’s character stories, there’s no mention of other scholars involved in the project, and only kaveh is mentioned as someone that alhaitham would willingly involve himself with in a joint project. For me, it seems that alhaitham initially agreed to work with kaveh, and kaveh alone, only for people to join over time, encouraged by kaveh.

(although kaveh’s character stories state that he realises that he and alhaitham handle social situations differently, he believes their differences aren’t altogether a bad thing

I think this is so interesting because when working on the group project with others there’s this heavy implication that, before this, alhaitham and kaveh were distant from other people when spending time together, as this project seems to be the first time that they’re confronted with the influence of others to such an extent, as this becomes the catalyst for voicing their concerns/issues with the way the other deals with people)

Alhaitham choosing to work on a project with someone when he never did so previously, and never does so afterwards, highlights kaveh as an anomaly for alhaitham, and shows that the two must have been very close at the time, especially with the knowledge that people in sumeru undertake research projects to form an academic family

This is also relevant in considering the theme of ‘home’ both for kaveh and alhaitham, which is most explicitly seen in kaveh’s character stories, where we learn the origin and the end of their friendship, as well as the few key details that indicates how close the two were

We can infer that alhaitham fills an integral role in kaveh’s life as he is written to have met alhaitham immediately or soon after his mother left for Fontaine, leaving him alone, and without family, in sumeru – just as alhaitham joins the akademiya after the passing of his grandmother, where he is then approached by kaveh. this implies that they fill similar, familial roles in the other’s life

Overall, alhaitham was disinclined to interact with others outside of kaveh, and his exception of kaveh when it comes to a group project shows how much value he placed in his bond with kaveh, a bond which is prioritised by alhaitham throughout their falling out, and to the present day

It isn’t certain how long alhaitham and kaveh were friends for after meeting, only that it was enough time for kaveh to form the opinion of alhaitham being his ‘best’ friend, and for them to decide to undertake a thesis together (which, as discussed, and is something I refuse to get over, can be equitable to forming an academic family, relating to the roles they have respectively taken in each other’s lives)

kaveh considered alhaitham as an ‘intelligent corroborator’ at the beginning of their joint project, which he considered to be rare, and after their falling out due to differences, kaveh believed himself to have been thinking wishfully about their compatibility

Their argument informs us how much the two actually know each other, in that alhaitham is thoroughly aware of kaveh’s father’s passing (which, according to kaveh’s hangout, wasn’t uncommon for students to know of as he recalls feeling judged because of this)

however, the difference lies in that of personal admission. Alhaitham is aware of the context of kaveh’s altruism in relation to his grief, something which other people, such as Layla, can only guess at

Whilst it isn’t certain whether kaveh informed alhaitham of any guilt he felt previously, as this supposed weaponisation of said guilt is the cause of kaveh ending their friendship, judging from kaveh’s reaction to alhaitham’s usage of this knowledge, being that of feeling ‘cut to quick’, kaveh essentially feels betrayed of the trust he placed in alhaitham - considering their implied and explicit past closeness (with kaveh's voice line stating that if he and alhaitham were as close as they used to be, he wouldn't hesitate in showing gratitude for alhaitham helping him) and their definitive informed knowledge of each other, I think it’s very likely that they did talk about these things, or enough for alhaitham to form his own understanding of kaveh’s situation

Additionally, Alhaitham is aware of kaveh’s lack of immediate familial attachments, comparing them to be similar in this sense, even though kaveh’s mother is alive and living in Fontaine, which indicates that alhaitham is aware of their lack of correspondence, and in turn kaveh’s deliberate distance from his mother

Although kaveh is described as being popular and having many friends amongst his classmates, these classmates are not mentioned by name or explored, either in his hangout or his character stories. Kaveh’s bond with alhaitham is the main focus of his character stories in comparison to the nameless friends of kaveh’s school days and post-graduation; since alhaitham can truly see through kaveh, this appears to be a bond to favour, regardless of all the unpleasantries this can bring from being innately known �� encapsulated in kaveh piecing back together the thesis cover that he tore up, which signalled the end of his and alhaitham’s friendship

Beyond their initial meeting in the house of daena, and kaveh coming to talk to alhaitham which instigated their friendship, there aren’t many details as to what their original friendship looked like (only that kaveh, at first, believed them to be on the same wavelength, and to have a ‘completed’ view, only to realise that although their viewpoints differed, this wasn’t a negative, and actually strengthened their friendship), but there are a few specific anecdotes of what the two did/experienced together during their initial friendship which I thought would be fun to explore

alhaitham remembers that kaveh used to annotate books in the house of daena and even earnt himself a nickname, which he references to fluster kaveh, only for the traveller to have no clue what this refers to. I think this is a really nice detail, as it shows the history between the two, and that they both hold a deep understanding of each other outside of the traveller’s knowledge 

The other anecdote is that alongside the two learning the script from king deshret’s civilisation together (or if alhaitham knew it beforehand and helped kaveh in familiarising himself, it isn’t clear), alhaitham also read kaveh’s favourite books pertaining to ancient architecture for their thesis, and recorded his own notes, alongside kaveh’s. it’s an intimate detail I think that kaveh recognises alhaitham’s handwriting, which I presume is something that is reciprocal <3

Another thing of interest in kaveh’s character stories is an excerpt of an essay in his old sketchbook, which refers to the individual’s beliefs being prioritised over the backing of the collective, which resonates with alhaitham’s philosophies in his character stories when asserting the importance of the individual over the collective

additionally, kaveh's essay also outlines that the purpose of existence is not to solely pursue knowledge, and that it lies in people, with knowledge existing regardless of if it being understood by people - aligning with alhaitham’s character stories of knowledge not being the final destination of humankind, and that it exists externally, outside of human pursuit, in the logic of the natural world

This highlights that despite their key differences, their views can ultimately find a middle ground, which also contextualises the original founding of their friendship, and why kaveh believed that their united viewpoints were ‘complete’ before realising their fundamental differences

Overall, in their student days, i'd say that alhaitham and kaveh were each other’s prioritised bond, fulfilling roles of intellectual corroborators, mirror opposites, best friends, and family <///3 (i would love to get some snapshots into their lives as students, like the details we get about tighnari and cyno’s student days together recent events)

[fist-of-vengeance]

micheal dawson get behind me I'll protect you

[salsa-ishida]

you're back!! it's been so long!! I missed you <3 <3

ahhhh I missed you too!! Life has been insistent on grinding me to a paste but we perservere

[nebulousfishgills]

Reading Emily's saga from HTM to Necrosis (plus Instinct and finishing with Shades of Blue) to @bowersbubbles has been a very rewarding experience, getting real time feedback while I make her laugh, lose her shit, and cry while I swallow mucus by the mouthful since my nose has Issues.

Apologies to my much beloved roommate for having to vaguely hear me reading out loud into the 1 or even 2 AM.

[otter-byte]

was watching this behind the scenes video about this fancy butter business, and they talk about how they rotate people between the various workstations during the day both avoid boredom but also to (hopefully) prevent RSI. literally why is this not the fucking standard in most jobs. Get your office workers on the floor to avoid desk injuries, let packers run phone support midshift to avoid strain/exhaustion, give your customer facing workers a break by letting them break down boxes for a while (personal fave).

[theautumnriverleaves]

.

[keeps-ache]

i've realized recently that much of the expressiveness of my eyes was just me trying to see other people's expressions. so now when i make faces my eyes stay Wide Open loll

[watermeat]

Oh shit the guy who made the No Straight Roads ost also worked on most of the Omega Strikers ost. No wonder there’s so many bangers.

[slimyenemy]

like it was such a mess fr because she did that ghosting me thing after saying very vaguely who even knows what about me being evil who even knows when despite me being there for months at this point trying to be nice to her mostly not even failing due to the usual ever present horrors in case something bad did indeed happen before when i wasn't even there because how tf could i be and i reacted like ok if i just act really pathetic for a while now at least she won't be coming back to glue trap me again all feeling like she *really* doesn't care about anything why even would she then NOT according to plan felt noticed by fish and felt talked to and responded because sure why not she seems really cool with all the usual emotions that always look like stupid love bombing which it wasn't because love bombing is a manipulation tactic and i was just feeling things and saying everything i think as usual but i did tell her pretty much right away that if she doesn't want to talk i don't want to do anything but literally normal one sided follow her on twitter to which she responded with regular as hell rudeness and ignoring my boundaries and always wanting something from me and being rude about that too put me in a hostile environment weird situation with some weird people immediately so i just kept going like i love you sm my beautiful wife but can you please just STOP and exploding about it because math glue traps are freaking humiliating and scary af and she didn't listen and i was just like okayyyyyy and at some point thought i think that if this is how this is going i should probably say something to the other person because it might look kinda messed up to her and who knows if it might actually hurt her and i did love her A LOT and cared about her so i basically DID just explain wtf happened and apologized for being poly and still said that enough is enough and if i'm not talked to i don't want to do anything FR (and was actually kinda cute about it i think) because it was all insanely brainbreaking and took ten million amount of time from me already and then they unleashed the scam torture hell and fish already started trying to force something weird on me too who tf even knows why i never felt freaked out about anything more and it was all already weird and hostile and confusing in the worst way possible and freaking awful and me saying really freaking loud and clear no to fish things was just ignored very intensely every time and it just kept going and going and getting worse and worse until it turned into a freaking everything torture too and the rest is everything i talked about here recently as in just straight up nightmare and i have no freaking idea whatsoever about what the fuck is even wrong with them both anymore and can't even describe how the thought of being in some sort of relationship with either of them makes me feel and don't even get me started on the rest of the cult it's like genuinely the most atrocious gathering of seemingly okay at first glance people i've seen in my LIFE and now after spending a few extra months quite literally having to listen to nevermind even the usual weird ass hostility dehumanization and infantilization and random af headcanons about me being scary right wing dracula who will oh how sad inevitably end up living on the streets now but some completely freaking full of shit bullshit about how good of an idea corrective rape would be in my sad unsocialized snowflake (sorry for throwing tf up rn) case i think they should actually very lowkey very metaphorically be crushed into powder mixed with basil and thrown into tomato sauce for some pizza in other words get absolutely freaking cooked that's it no words

[nyancrimew]

confession: two weeks ago my friends got sick of me slowly cooking to death in my self-pitying emotional soup of heartbreak, took me out for drinks, and installed a dating app on my phone. we are all in the same degree at uni (i'm 25 + i promise this is relevant), in a faculty that is extremely quaint and mostly comprised of academics married to people with normal jobs. two years ago a teacher-couple joined our program's faculty, a fact that caused a minor riot within the teaching staff, who thought it was unfair to give two of four tenured jobs to a couple... unfortunately for them both of these profs are extremely beloved among the students and very good teachers at that. even if you've never taken classes from either of them, you know about this couple and probably whatever rumors are going around about them too. i've taken classes w/ both.

anyway. back to me on the dating app in the bar with my friends, pretty drunk, swiping though my bumble suggestions. for extra fun, we have set the minimum age to 30 and the gender to include "both" even though i am a lesbian. the whole table is viciously tearing down dating profiles, investigating their pictures, etc. i go to the bar to get another round for the group, am about to pay for our drinks when i hear a virtual SHRIEK from our corner. i get back, dish our drinks out. my phone is in the middle of the table, untouched by anyone like it's a cursed object. i look at the screen. it's them, our teacher couple. they have a shared dating profile, stating that they are "looking for someone to explore her bisexuality with". lesbian readers will know that this is not exactly an uncommon profile type to find, but still, seeing it from people who have taught basically everything you know about 19th century literature is... quite something. so naturally i decide to swipe right before anyone can stop me.

maia, i am so proud to report: i fucked that man's wife, she was absolutely lovely, and we will see each other again, and i am currently taking another class from her husband where the vibe is more than chill. my friends have been sworn to secrecy, but i know it's only a matter of time before someone slips up and the rumor mill starts churning... but who cares? i haven't thought about my ex since!

OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT

[torgawl]

geto reminds me so much of alyosha, not because they share the same ideals but in the sense that every time they appear in the story it's like that page is a love letter to them. to be loved is to be remembered and everyone that truly gets to know them just holds such a special place for them in their hearts. they inspire, they comfort, they love so unconditionally. geto haunts the narrative, not because of his villainous acts but because he loved so much. and he was so loved in return!

[cesium-sheep]

I still didn't finish everything and I didn't get to play any kingdom hearts and I didn't really get to hang out with my partners cuz they were both busy until like 7:30. I got a lot done but it doesn't feel nice cuz I still have shit that needs doing and I'm Fucking Tired.