#i'll write up a bio for him later

[yeoobiii]

hello, can I ask you to write a mini story about Heeseung, where he teaches Y/n how to kiss 🙏🏻

⋆｡°✩ 𝙛𝙤𝙡𝙡𝙤𝙬 𝙢𝙮 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙙

꩜ bestfriend!heeseung x gn!reader

꩜ best friends to lovers (?), first kisses

꩜ during a game of truth or dare you admit to all your friends for the first time that you've never been kissed and that you're frankly scared you'll mess up once the situation presents itself. Heeseung sees a perfect opportinity to help you out with that.

or: Heeseung teaches his best friend how to kiss and both of you get a bit lost in it

wc: 5.1k (this has gotten a bit longer than I intended to but honestly I just went with the flow and here we are.)

warnings: consumption of alcohol

a/n: thank you for the request, anon! btw requests are open if you'd like me to write something specific, I can't promise you anything on how quickly I'll get it done or if it's something I'm up to writing but like the link is in my bio :)

I hope you like this, anon!

There’s a few things none of your college friends knew about you. Despite knowing most of them for over three years now, some things just never came up naturally in conversation. Like the fact that you’ve not had your first kiss yet.

Why make a big deal out of it? You’ve also never been in love before. You didn’t feel the urge to inform everyone about these things, especially since most of your friends have a rather active dating life. You wanted to do these things at your own pace and didn’t want anyone involved in how you could “solve that problem”. You simply never intended on telling them. That is until last weekend happened and somehow your roommates were able to convince you to participate in a game of truth or dare.

It was a Thursday night and your roommate told you that they were having a few friends over for a cozy hang out and you were definitely down to chill with them because the both of you were friends with similar people and got along great in general, so having a few drinks with your friends in your dorm room seemed like a nice way to spend the evening.

And everything went smoothly enough, people were trickling in and out, the overall vibe very casual and comfortable. That is however until your friend Sofia suggested a game of truth or dare. To be fair, the overall intake of alcohol increased as the evening was progressing. It was almost inevitable that a suggestion like that would arouse sooner or later.

Before you even properly thought about it, you agreed to play and sat down in a circle with around five other tipsy college students.

Only later on did your brain register that Heeseung was one of the few chosen ones. For a split second you even wondered when he had arrived, but then you remembered that he greeted you with a friendly embrace when he first arrived about half an hour ago.

Technically, there was nothing wrong with him participating in the same game, the both of you were friends after all.

You met Heeseung pretty much the first day college started, you were both in stats together and happened to be sitting next to each other on the first day and it’s been like that ever since. However, you guys didn’t hit it off right away, you were friendly with each other, sure, but that mostly also out of convenience and occasionally you shared your notes with each other or he was making sure you didn’t fall asleep in class. It was all really casual and you would have considered him more like a colleague than a friend.

That was the case until one particular night that was destined to shape the kind of friendship the two of you would have with each other forever.

It was one of your first frat parties, the first semester was about to end and freshmen with various kinds of majors gathered to celebrate this collective milestone. Safe to say the liquor was being poured without much hesitation.

It wasn’t the first time you’ve run into Heeseung at a frat party either. Usually you’d shoot each other the occasional nod, acknowledging the other’s presence and moving on with your night and that’s all there was to it.

However, fate had other plans for this particular night.

At one point you excused yourself from the dance floor and went out the back door into the small garden to catch some fresh air, to your surprise not many people were out there, just you and a small group of three people maybe, who seemed to be passing around a blunt.

It took you a second glance to not only see your roommate but also Heeseung being part of that group, your roommate immediately greeting you enthusiastically upon locking eyes with you and beckoning for you to sit with them.

Shortly after you were sitting on your ass, your roommate's arm interlocked with yours, being pulled into the conversation easily.

Heeseung sent a brief smile of acknowledgement your way, before taking a hit from the joint. You returned his smile and also greeted the fourth person sitting with you who was eventually introduced as Heeseung’s friend Jake.

The joint was being passed around and eventually landed in your hand as well and afterwards the conversation seemed to flow effortlessly. You joked and laughed along to whatever your company was saying but were also emerged in the more heated discussions.

At one point you were so deep into the conversation with Jake that you didn’t even realize your roommate getting up and going back inside and like ten minutes later, Jakes excused himself to the bathroom and didn’t seem to return anymore.

Which only left Heeseung and you.

Now, you’d be lying if you’d say being in such close proximity with a cute guy like Heeseung, all by yourselves in this somewhat intimate setting left you completely unaffected. You could feel yourself growing slightly flustered at nothing in particular, but you eventually catched yourself when Heeseung asked.

“So, what’s your favorite dinosaur?”

You fell into comfortable conversation after that and the longer the night went on, the more intense the topics got.

Whenever you think back to that one particular part of the evening it kinda feels like Heeseung and you were the only two things existing at the moment. Your brain didn’t register the people stepping in and out of the garden as the hours passed by. 

It was well past 3am when you checked your phone for the time since sitting down. You told Heeseung and he was just as shocked as you were at how quickly the time had passed, almost apologizing for taking up so much of your time, but you assured him you were enjoying yourself.

“It has been a while since I sat down like that and was able to talk to someone for hours about whatever popped into my head.” You admitted to him and he seemed satisfied with that judging by the smile that graced his lips.

“Me too.”

And you could swear by the way his eyes shimmered in that moment that there was something – whatever that may have been – between the both of you. Or maybe it was just the weed.

Regardless of what you guys shared was something different than what you thought it might have been, you grew close very quickly after that evening. Heeseung started to joke around with you in class, you eventually asked him for his number and social media, he started sending you memes occasionally, you started to hang out outside of class in your little friend group.

At one point you were convinced he was actively seeking you out at parties, because ever since that evening, you always bumped into each other sooner or later during the night.

And whatever there might have been that one evening, nothing came of it. However, it almost seemed like you grew closer to Heeseung than all your other friends. People in your friend group would casually call you best friends and the more time passed the more that statement became true.

All occurrences in the past have led you to playing truth or dare on a Thursday night on the floor of your dorm room with each other. And usually that wouldn’t be an issue. Heeseung and you have progressed to a stage in your friendship where you knew almost everything about each other; almost.

You could feel the alcohol running in your system and were sincerely hoping you wouldn’t say something that you’d eventually regret. You just crossed your fingers and hoped for the best.

For the most part the game did run smoothly, it was fun and you had a good time, the only dare you had to do was show them your most embarrassing dance move.

That is until your roommate asked you truth or dare.

“Truth” you chose this time

“What was your first kiss like and who was it with?”

The question in and of itself was harmless, it matched the vibe of the very easy going game they had going on, Nonetheless, you felt put on the spot and before you could stop yourself – because you can’t pull off a lie for the life of you – you blurt out that you’ve never been kissed.

None of your friends seemed super unfazed by this seeing how you’ve not dated one person since you started college but Sofia’s eyes grew double in size.

“Not even a peck on the lips or something?” she questioned a bit bewildered.

You just shook your head, seeing from the corner of your eye how your roommate gave Sofia a light nudge at even asking such a question.

You couldn’t help but risk a short glance at Heeseung and were almost a bit startled when his eyes met yours instantly. He sent you a soft smile upon locking eyes with you. Was that pity you saw in his eyes? Your stomach turned itself upside down.

You really wish you could say it didn’t bother you at all, that at the age of 21 you’ve never kissed someone before. You didn’t want it to be a big deal, it really shouldn’t be a big deal.

But you couldn’t help but think that you lacked something or were one step behind everyone. It felt like missing out on an experience that usually people have in their late teens and early twenties.

You don’t know why it hasn’t happened for you yet. It’s not even that you want it to be with someone really special, the moment has simply never presented itself before and you usually take this for what it is, but right now – Heeseung’s expression burned into your skull – you suddenly feel a bit small.

“It’s not just that” you eventually start to break the silence, not yet realizing that you were about to make this so much worse, “it’s also the fact that even if I’d want to kiss someone, I wouldn’t know how.”

It took your drunken mind a hot minute to catch up with what you just said. Something within you simply wanted to fill the silence but the fact that your filter was basically non-existent due to your tipsy state was not taken into consideration the moment you opened your mouth.

You mentally slapped yourself across the face, this time not having the courage to even glance into Heeseung’s direction.

“It’s not that hard, I can show you!” Your roommate offered enthusiastically, intentions pure.

Your face flushed at the suggestion and you cringed a bit, more out of embarrassment that you ended up in this situation in the first place than by the proposal itself.

“I’ll let you know if I ever want to take you up on that suggestion.” You reply as nonchalantly as you can muster.

It’s not like the thought of asking a friend how to properly kiss has occurred to you before, but you could never quite bring yourself to get the request past your lips.

Your friends laugh at your response and easily move on with the conversation, taking the attention off of you. And that was that. Or at least that’s what you thought…

Two weeks later you enter the lecture hall and already spot Heeseung sitting in his usual spot and just like on autopilot you placed yourself next to him and the both of you exchanged greetings, just like you usually would. You’d also catch up about your weekends and shortly after the lecture started, taking up both of your attention.

It wasn’t until halfway through the lecture that Heeseung poked your shoulder, extending his notebook to you, clearly wanting to show you something.

With blue ink he has written on the page:

“You want me to teach you?”

Your eyebrows furrow, confused at what he meant.

You write down below him:

“Teach me what?” Confusion clear on your face as you watch him write something else.

“How to kiss”

You choked on your own spit.

Heeseung chuckled next to you. You could smack him across the head right now and you made a mental note to do just that once class is over.

Once you collected yourself, you took the pen from Heeseung and wrote three question marks under his proposal.

Why would he offer to teach you in the first place and out of all the places to suggest this to you he chose the middle of your lecture? Why?

He grinned at your question marks and if you didn’t know him any better you thought he was making fun of you. Had any other person done this to you, you’d probably actually have been hurt but first of all you still didn’t know if he was serious and second of all it was Heeseung. You knew him well enough to know he’d never use such a situation to make fun of you.

At that moment the professor seemed to notice your lack of attention and decided to ask you a question directly, returning your attention to the lecture where it stayed until you were dismissed.

The topic didn’t arise again between Heeseung and you even though the whole scenario didn’t seem to be able to leave your mind. At lunch you stared at Heesung making conversation with Jake over something you did not pay attention to, trying to figure him out.

In your head the puzzle pieces were just not fitting. Why would he suggest that all of a sudden? And why was it so hard for you to find an answer to his question…

After the whole frat party thing where you originally became friends, you had developed a small crush on Heeseung that gradually developed as time went by. It’s just after some time had passed and neither of you made any advances towards the other you eventually abandoned the idea of getting with Heeseung and were left with two options, getting over your crush or having to live with your unrequited feelings.

You chose the first option. It took you quite some time but you managed to accept the fact that Heeseung was simply a really good friend and your feelings faded as seasons changed.

You’d be lying saying they ever went away completely. There’s no reason denying that Heeseung was painfully your type and that no matter how hard you tried to tell yourself that you didn’t like him like that anymore, you were attracted to him.

So, saying his suggestion to teach you how to kiss took you by surprise was the understatement of the century.

He probably just tried to be a good friend, right? Your roommate had suggested to teach you as well back then and there were no other intentions behind that, you were certain of that. So, why are you questioning Heeseung so much?

The topic didn’t come up again until one day you were hanging out in your dorm room. Just your roommate, Heeseung and yourself. It was often like that, sometimes Jake was also around but today it was just the three of you, that is at least until your roommate told you that they were heading out for dinner at around six and didn’t know when they’d be back.

Once they left, it was just Heeseung and you left.

Ever since he made his suggestion in class, you dreaded being alone with him, because you didn’t know if the topic would come up again or if you even wanted it to.

Heeseung was lying on your bed, his feet resting on your lap, while you were sitting at the end of the bed, back resting against the wall. Heeseung was scrolling through his phone when you decided to address the elephant in the room, because you figured if he wasn’t the one to bring it up, why shouldn’t you?

“Were you serious?” you simply said, not in any particular tone, just wanting to clear the haze in your head.

“Do you mean about the kissing thing?” He said without looking away from his face. The fact that he instantly knew what you were talking about indicated enough that he was aware it’s been eating at you.

You nod.

He locked his phone and threw it to the side, moving to sit up and also lean his back against the wall so that he can face you.

“I was and I still am.” He said, no trace of irony to be found.

“Why?” You couldn’t help but ask.

He shrugged his shoulders, “It seemed like it bothered you that day. You know, when you told everyone how you’re scared you’d mess up if it comes down to the real thing?”

He teased at you being so open due to liquid courage, a small smile forming on his face as you rolled your eyes at him.

“I was put on the spot and that was the only thing my brain provided at the moment to fill the silence.” You whine more frustrated with yourself than anyone else.

“So, you’re not worried about that?” He asked in return.

It was silent for a moment as you contemplated his question. You could easily dig yourself a way out of this by denying it, convincing him it was mainly the liquor talking. But you and Heeseung were never really the type to lie to each other.

“I am” you eventually admit, not meeting his eyes “I don’t know… It’s a bit silly but like I don’t know anyone my age who hasn’t been kissed before and I feel like it’s gonna be really awkward if the situation arises and I chicken out because I have no idea how to actually kiss someone.”

Heeseung listened to you and took your words in before answering.

“But you know, most first kisses are kinda awkward, I think.”

“Was your first kiss weird at all?” You asked him.

“Yeah, very.” He chuckled, sitting up more on the bed, “it was kinda too much of everything, too much teeth, too much spit, just entirely too much.”

He shuddered a bit, recollecting his first kiss.

“See? And I’d have no idea about any of that.” You said almost a bit frustrated.

“Then let me show you.” He insisted, your eyes meeting.

The way he says it so casually makes you want to rip your hair out.

“It’s just a kiss, right? And it’s me! You don’t have to be embarrassed with me.” He said, eyebrows slightly raised, trying to ease your mind.

You look at him. He looks cozy in his oversized sweatshirt, his body language his usual relaxed self. It was still a bit fascinating how he could take this all so lightly but then again, it really was just a kiss for him.

And you know you shouldn’t. You shouldn’t kiss Heeseung. In fact, your head is screaming at you not to kiss him, because the risk of buried feelings resurfacing is simply too big. But you’d also be lying to yourself if you’d say you weren’t curious what his lips would feel like against yours and it were thoughts like this that’d mean certain doom for you sooner or later.

At your silence Heeseung added “Look, there’s really no pressure at all. I just thought maybe you’d like to know a few things that will help ease your mind, but of course you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

And of course he would say that. Of course he’d go out of his way to reassure you that you’re safe with him and that he respected your choice no matter what. Maybe sharing your first kiss with Heeseung wasn’t that bad of an idea after all. At least like that you could make sure it’s someone who respects you and your boundaries, someone who makes sure you feel safe and comfortable no matter what.

Maybe you could allow yourself this. Maybe having this as the memory of your first kiss wasn’t too bad.

“Like, right now?” You asked, which seemed to surprise Heeseung a little. He must have been convinced you’d turn him down.

“I mean, whenever is fine.” He responded suddenly you could see his cool demeanor crack, spotting a few hints of nervousness behind the cracks.

“I think, I’d be down.” You eventually say after contemplating for another minute.

“Really?” Heeseung’s eyebrows were almost at his hairline.

“Lee Heeseung, if you tell me right now that all of this has been a sick joke of yours after all, I’m ending this friendship right now.”

Panic flashed in his eyes.

“No! No, of course not. I was being serious. I just didn’t think…. I didn’t think you’d agree.” he admitted.

“So, how does this work?” you ask, not knowing where to even start.

“Oh, so you really want to do it right now, I see.” Heeseung mumbled more to himself than anyone in particular.

He scooted slightly closer to you.

“Well, first we gotta get closer.” He moves to sit next to you on the bed, shoulders touching.

You watch him, fascinated at how quickly his shyness has been replaced by his cool, nonchalant demeanours once again.

Heeseung and you have cuddled on more than one occasion before, but this feels different, you’re hyper aware of the place where his shoulder is bumping into yours and your tights are touching. This close, you could smell his cologne and shampoo.

“It’s not that complicated really” he starts explaining.

“If you want to just have a small, simple kiss. We’d both tilt our heads slightly as we get closer. Let me show you.”

He turns towards you, his eyes meeting yours. And you could swear there it was again. That shimmer from the first night the both of you actually talked to each other. You push that thought to the back of your head, the indications behind that too overwhelming for what’s about to happen right now.

His hand hovers above your cheek and you nod, allowing him to gently grab you by the jaw and tilt your head into one direction. The distance between his and your face shrinks as he does so, the pace of your heartbeat picking up in the process.

You could feel his breath against your lips as he spoke again.

“This is usually the point most people close their eyes and then you just… kiss.”

You close your eyes and a moment later you felt the sensation of Heeseung’s lips softly pressing against yours. All thoughts seem to leave your head the instant your lips touched, your heart basically beating out of your chest. It took you a moment to actually process the sensation and just as you were about to lose yourself in the feeling, Heeseung pulled back slightly.

“You know, this is the part where you kiss me back.” He chuckled, the sound sending a shiver down your spine and maybe it was all in your head but you could swear his voice sounded different then just a second ago; a bit deeper, maybe even a bit flustered.

“My bad” you said, making Heeseung throw his head back with laughter, making you giggle as well.

It eases your anxiety a bit that even in stations like this, you were able to just laugh with him and easing the tension so easily.

“No worries” he laughed “Wanna try again?”

Again?

What did he mean again? Wasn’t that it?

Despite yourself, you nod.

“Okay, this time make sure to reciprocate the pressure I put against your lips, got it?”

“Got it” you kept your replies fairly short, afraid your voice would fail you otherwise.

Before you knew it, Heeseung was leaning in again.

“Ready?”

“Ready.”

You close your eyes and soon after you feel the now familiar pressure of his lips again, this time making sure to kiss him back. Without thinking about it, your hand found its way onto Heeseung’s neck, where your fingers absentmindedly played with hair as you were kissing him.

This kiss lasted longer than the first one, you could feel Heeseung moving against you and followed his lead. It was easier to flow into the rhythm than you’d have thought, his lips soft and gentle against yours.

You were starting to feel lightheaded as he pulled away again and you had to resist the urge to chase after his lips.

“That was pretty good” he said, slightly out of breath, his pupils slightly dilated, his gaze fixed on your lips before he looked up at you.

“Also the thing you did with your hand, it seems like you’re a natural.” He chucked.

That’s when you saw your hand still resting against his neck, you instantly pulled it away once your brain caught up to what he was saying.

“Oh, I didn’t even realize…”

For a second there was a silence between the both of you; a silence that wasn’t quiet at all. You couldn’t seem to take your eyes off of him and neither could he. You could probably cut the tension with a knife.

“And what if… what if I’d want it to get more intense, you know?”

Heeseung’s eyebrows shot up.

“More intense?” He said, knowing very well what you were implying.

“I get how just kissing someone on the lips like that might not be that hard but what if– what if it goes further?”

Heeseung cleared his throat at your words and sat up straighter.

“You mean, if you would want to deepen the kiss?” He inquired.

You just nod, looking up at him, not failing to notice the light blush that’s starting to form on his cheeks, matching your own flusteredness.

“You want me to show you as well?”

You nod. Something about how his lips feel against yours was addictive, making you throw all your previous reservations out of the window.

“It’s kinda hard to explain though. I’d just have to show you?” He said, a bit unsure.

“That’s okay.”

“Okay so, basically you start with a kiss just like we shared before. You’ll just have to let me lead, okay?”

Something about the way he said that sent a shiver down your spine, words refusing to leave your mouth so you just nod.

Soon enough, his lips were on yours again and even though you were only separated for a few minutes, you already started to miss the sensation and the tingle it made you feel in your stomach and chest. Naturally, your hand found its way back into his hair.

Suddenly, you felt his tongue brush against your bottom lip and your heart took a leap. Instinctively, you opened your mouth for him. A few moments pass and he starts licking gently into your mouth.

You actively have to suppress sounds that were starting to build in the back of your throat at the sensation.

You could also feel one of his hands pressing against your waist while the other one was busy cupping your cheek.

Without much thinking you pressed forward, wanting to match his eagerness, which led to your teeth clinking against each other to which Heeseung pulled back slightly, chuckling.

“Take it slow, yeah?” He said, his face still incredibly close to yours.

As you nod at his remark he dives back in, taking you by surprise a bit. You were welcoming the touch of lips nonetheless.

This time you tried to dial down your eagerness and gently let his tongue guide yours, your insides turning into mush in the process.

Without thinking you slightly pulled at his hair, making him hum against your lips. 

He must like that? you think to yourself. 

Your stomach did a 360 at the thought of stirring him on further.

At this point your tongues were dancing with each other gently, no trance of any kind of hesitation left, the feeling leaving your head dizzy and your heart fluttering.

The way Heeseung kept pulling you in by your jaw and how his grip on your hip was getting tighter.

“I’ve wanted to do this for a really long time.” He suddenly blurts out in between kisses and if you wouldn’t be so lost in the feeling of his lips on yours you’d stop to question his statement, but right now your heart simply leaped in your chest.

Overcome by a sudden wave of braveness, you swung one of your legs across his lap, straddling him. Heeseung looked at you starstruck, his hands instantly finding their way to your hips caressing them.

You took the time to look at him for a moment, his pupils were practically blown out and he looked so pretty with kiss swollen lips, glistering with both of your spit.

This was the first time you initiated the kiss, he easily reciprocated.

The kisses were sometimes still a bit sloppy but neither you nor Heeseung seemed to care, too lost in the feeling of each other’s bodies pressed against each other.

His hands were traveling up your sides and down your tights again and you were drowning in this feeling, of his hands touching you; exploring you. Soon enough, him trying to teach you how to kiss turned into a full on make out session.

That was until your roommate burst into the room without any announcement, making you jump off of Heeseung in an instant, cursing your body for immediately missing his closeness.

You both looked guilty and flustered as your roommate looked the both of you up and down.

“My bad, I’m just here to grab my charger. Continue with what you’ve been doing. It was only a matter of time until this happened anyway.”

They said and were gone as quickly as they had arrived.

You and Heeseung looked at each other for a second. Both of you burst into laughter shortly after.

“I think at some point we should really have a conversation about what exactly this is between us.” He gestured between the both of you after recovering from the sudden interruption.

And you were glad he brought it up because you think your heart would have been shattered into a hundred pieces if this didn’t have the same effect on him as it had on you; making your stomach flutter, turning your insides into mush, craving more.

“Better sooner than later, right?” you smile at him, hope filling your heart.

feel free to let me know your thoughts <3

[luxaryllis]

hi!! if you're accepting requests rn could you pls write just pure angst of azul with a younger sibling who he was super close to before, but when their parents got divorced they grew distant bc the sibling went to live with their dad instead of with him and his mom. then a few years later sibling ends up attending nrc and azul recognizes them and is excited to talk to them again only to discover that they're not the same as before.

rlly loved your scared younger sibling fics. they gave me chest pains bc of how damn sad they were. keep up the good work :)

Brother Knows Best

Note: OMG!! What is this!? I, Lux, FINALLY finishing something and posting it?! Has a miracle truly happened?!

Anyway, I'll just write the sibling of this one as a year younger than Azul, and the sibling was also be an octopus merfolk. I'm going to mention the reader having interests in some stuff, so please don't get offended if it doesn't apply to you. You can always just replace the traits I put as a trait of yours!

And imma just use Ashengrotto as the family name, cuz idk if Ashengrotto was the last name of Azul's bio father, or step-father, or the maiden name of his mother.

Warning/s: Parents divorcing, Split custody, Angst, Spoilers to Azul's backstory and past, Spoilers to Azul's Ceremonial Robes vignettes, Reader is mentioned to have somewhat similar features to Azul (specific features aren't specified), Tell me if I missed anything

Full post under the cut!

-----

"Big brother! Why are you crying?" A slightly smaller mer-octopus swam closer with a concerned expression.

Azul, who was hiding in an octopus pot, looked up to his sweet and innocent little sibling. The 7-year-old boy's eyes soften, and Azul knew that it was only a matter of time before his baby sibling, [Name], would go through all the bullying and teasing as well.

But Azul didn't want that. He wanted [Name]'s cute smile to last forever. He wanted [Name] to not have to see and experience the horrors of simply being themself. He wanted to protect [Name] from everything and everyone who dared hurt them.

Azul's heart squeezed in his chest as he realizes that he can't. He can't protect [Name]. Azul couldn't even protect himself! He truly was... a weak, dumb, slow little octopus...

Tormented by his thoughts, Azul continued sobbing, hiding further into the octopus pot, hiding his chubby face from his little sibling.

"Don't look at me!!" Azul cries out, accidentally spitting out ink from his tentacles, staining the waters around them. The mess caused Azul to cry even more, the ugly black liquids reminding him of what the other kids told him.

[Name] frowns softly, they didn't know why their big brother was upset. The younger mer-octopus moves closer to the octo-pot, trying to coax their older brother to come out.

"Zul-ie.. what's wrong? I don't like seeing you sad..."

Upon receiving no response, the younger child purses their lips in a pout.

"Come onnn...! Mom and dad made dinner! They made fried chicken! Your favorite!!"

---

"Big brother!! Look, look! Wanna hear this song I learned on the piano?!"

Piano keys played a gorgeous melody under [Name]'s fingers, and Azul watched with wide eyes full of wonder and pride. Azul felt a small sense of envy in him, but he couldn't find it in himself to acknowledge the jealousy, because Azul was too proud of his younger sibling to do that.

And yet...

As [Name] learned more and more, Azul couldn't help but feel... left behind.

As though [Name] doesn't need him anymore.

But... but that isn't true right? [Name] needs Azul... right...?

As days and years pass by, nagging feelings of envy and worthlessness bubble up in Azul as he watches his sibling shine.

'I should be proud of them,' he thinks to himself as his mind wanders while he was studying.

---

'Mom and dad don't love each other anymore...'

Those were the thoughts in the two siblings' heads while they listened to their parents argue for what felt like the umpteenth time. And today, it seemed as though everyone in the house had finally had enough of the screams and shouts.

Around a month or so later, the Ashengrotto family were in court, for a divorce trial. It was a somewhat long process, but the judge's words hit the two children like a truck.

"Mrs. Ashengrotto is to be given custody over Azul Ashengrotto. Whilst Mr. Ashengrotto is to be given custody over [Name] Ashengrotto."

When the Ashengrotto family split up, Azul and [Name] were desperately trying to stay together. It went to the point that their parents had to pull the crying siblings apart because [Name] and their father had to leave.

"Big brother!!! NO!!"

"[Name]!!! Don't leave me please!!"

---

"DON'T LEAVE ME!!"

Azul wakes up with a start, sitting up from the bed with wide eyes and heavy breathing. His hair was frazzled in a bedhead, and he quickly looks around.

The Octavinelle Dorm Leader recognizes his dorm room, and breathes a sigh. Not one of relief, but one of exhaustion. Azul reaches to his bedside table and takes his glasses, putting them on as he checks the clock. 5 am.

Next to the clock, Azul sees the small picture he placed. A family picture of him, his mother, his father, and his younger sibling. It was taken before his parents had divorced. When they were all happy...

Azul stares at his younger sibling in the picture, yearning to see them again. He reaches out a bit, but stops himself and shakes his head. 'Now is not the time', he thinks to himself. He shakily stands up and starts getting ready for the welcoming ceremony of the new first years of NRC.

Azul leaves the room and passes by Jade and Floyd's shared room. The house-warden could hear Floyd's complaining through the door and he sighs, knocking on the door and speaking.

"Floyd, would you stop complaining? Jade and I have to get ready for the Welcoming Ceremony, and you and the others have to start preparing for the welcome party for our new first years."

Almost immediately, Floyd replies with a slight whiney tone. "Says the person who wasn't wrung out like a rag for some lotion! I can barely walk!!" Azul could almost hear the pout in Floyd's voice and sighs in exasperation, listening to Jade trying to calm his brother down.

Deciding to leave the twin eels alone, Azul starts to walk away and head to the Lounge to make sure the preparations are going smoothly. As he walked, his mind can't help but wander to thoughts like if he and his own younger sibling would have a similar dynamic to Jade and Floyd. Hm, or would their dynamic be more like Idia's and Ortho's? Likely not, perhaps.

These thoughts weighed in Azul's mind, and he feels himself shaking his head, trying to rid himself of those thoughts. He hasn't seen his younger sibling for a long time; but Azul certainly hopes that [Name] didn't have such a drastic change like he did.

For some reason, Azul couldn't bear the thought of his previously happy-go-lucky and outgoing [Name] to be anything else other than such a happy mer-octopus. It was wishful thinking, but what kind of older brother would he be if he didn't wish only the best for his younger sibling?

---

When the time came for the Welcoming Ceremony to begin, the Housewardens (exceot for Malleus Draconia, who likely didn't receive the invitation, Azul thinks) were all lined in a circle surrounding the mirror, waiting for students to be sorted into their own dorms.

As each student was being sorted to their dorms, Azul takes the time to look at each student that seemed to catch his attention. None seemed very relevant thus far, maybe a few people he could exploit here and there.

"Next student!"

A student dressed in the NRC Ceremonial Robes stepped out of the crowd of the unsorted first-years. Their hood was on and casting a shadow down their face as they walked towards the mirror.

"State thy name." The mirror said when the student stepped up.

Suddenly, the student spoke a name that ran a shiver down Azul's spine. A name that Azul never thought he would hear no matter how much he wished to hear.

"[Name] Ashengrotto."

Jade raised an eyebrow and turned to Azul curiously, and some other students who recognized the last name also snuck some glances to the Octavinelle Dormleader. Azul could vaguely hear Idia's voice through the floating tablet, saying things like, 'Plot twist?!', but he paid no heed to it.

Azul's eyes were wide, and his mouth was lightly agape in surprise. His younger sibling... studying in NRC?!?

Questions ran through Azul's head in that moment. How is his younger sibling doing? Do they still like to play the piano? Or perhaps they still continued collecting those sea shells? Did [Name] still want to be a singer when they grew up? Do they still enjoy chasing their tentacles like a dog liked chasing its tail? Do they still have that same smile they always did; the one that brightened any room they were in and made their eyes glimmer like the stars land-folk liked to gaze at?

The Dark Mirror spoke again, "The shape of they soul is..."

Azul was beside himself with worry and anticipation. What dorm would his younger sibling be sorted into?

'Octavinelle, Octavinelle, Octavinelle', Azul chanted in his head, hoping for the Dark Mirror to sort [Name] in the dorm he was in.

"... Octavinelle!"

It took almost everything in Azul not to let out a sigh of relief, but he was celebrating in his mind. Suddenly remembering that he was the Dorm Leader of Octavinelle, he stepped up and made himself known to his beloved younger sibling.

Azul mustered up an amicable smile (and those who knew him were rather surprised at how genuine Azul's smile looked), and spoke. "Welcome to Octavinelle, right this way please."

[Name], not having realized who the person underneathe the hood was, nodded and walked to the crowd of Octavinelle students, waiting for the Welcoming Ceremony to be over.

---

After a rather tiring Welcoming Ceremony, with an entire fire getting started by a racoon-cat-monster named Grim, all the students (save for that one student who couldn't get sorted to a dorm) were allowed to leave and go back to their respective dorms.

The Octavinelle first-years were granted a delicious meal and celebration, and were all briefed on their duties in the Mostro Lounge. The entire time, Azul kept sneaking glances at [Name], which wasn't really left unnoticed by the twins or by [Name] themself.

Azul eventually mustered up the courage to approach his younger sibling and struck up a conversation.

"[Name], it's very nice to see you..! I'm Azul, remember? Your older brother?" Azul's voice was one of slight anxiety, did [Name] eveb remember him? It has been a while since they last even heard from each other..

[Name] turns to look at Azul and nods a bit, smiling a little. "Ah, right. It's so nice to see you again, Zulie."

Being referred to his favorite childhood nickname made Azul smile softly, but he couldn't shake off the surprise at seeing the change of demeanor in [Name]. Back when they were younger, [Name] was much more outgoing and enthusiastic compared to this [Name], who seemed to want to curl up in a ball when someone else tried making conversation with them.

Not even their smile fully reached their eyes anymore. Just what had happened to his beloved younger sibling in the time he was gone?

Internally hoping that his younger sibling hadn't changed too much, Azul tried to continue the conversation. "Ah, do you.. still play the piano?"

[Name] shook their head and smiled a little sheepishly in reply. "Oh, no I don't anymore. Atleast, not as often as before. I still play it occasionally, but I don't exactly find it as fun now."

"What about collecting sea shells? Surely, you still find that enjoyable?"

"Dad and I lived in a more colder part of the ocean, and there weren't a lot of sea shells to collect. So, no, not really."

"Ahh, I see... what do you like doing nowadays, then, [Name]?"

"Oh, well..." [Name] then proceeds to tell their older brother of their interests; though most (if not all) the things the younger Ashengrotto listed were things Azul weren't very interested in.

Regardless, Azul nods in understanding, trying not to mind how much his sibling had changed.

The next few weeks after that, Azul had found it hard to approach [Name]. Why? Well, maybe it was because of the fact that his younger sibling had grown rather attached to the Ramshackle prefect and a certain trouble-making trio (Ace, Deuce, and Grim).

Azul had enough of it, seeing his younger sibling get roped into trouble from their group of friends. When [Name] had came back to the dorm with the Heartslabyul's dorm leader's collar on them, Azul had to pull his younger sibling aside to talk.

"[Name], may I ask exactly why you have Riddle's collar on you? What did your friends bring you into this time?" Azul asked [Name] as they spoke in Azul's office. Azul was looking at his beloved younger sibling with furrowed brows and a scrutinizing expression.

[Name] replied, "It's a.. long story, big brother. Yuu, Ace, Deuce, Grim, and I were at Heartslabyul's Unbirthday Party. Dorm Leader Rosehearts got mad at us and collared us and kicked us out of the party because a rule was broken.."

Azul sighs in disappointment and exasperation. He can't believe his younger sibling associated themself with such troublemakers.

"[Name], honestly, why do you even hang out with such people?! They're getting you into trouble!"

[Name] tries to defend themself, "They don't mean to! And I can't just stand by and watch as my friends suffer on their own!"

Azul starts to get a little frustrated. Can't they see, those group of 'friends' as [Name] calls them are terrible influences. It's only a matter of time before they start using [Name] for their own benefit, Azul is sure about that. After all, [Name] has always been rather straightforward in the way that they won't hesitate to help (such values were strange to see in a school like Night Raven College). And Azul knew what happened to people like that; they get exploited, wrung out like a rag, draining them out until there's nothing left to give.

If [Name]'s friends were anything like the other students of NRC (like how Azul would treat his 'clients'), it would be so, so much worse for [Name]. Oh, Azul could practically see it now; it'll start small, like helping out with homework or lending some money. Eventually, it'll be like his younger sibling got the life and kindness sucked out of them, leaving them burnt out like a poor, unfortunate soul!

And Azul can't and won't let his beloved younger sibling go through that. He won't let [Name] fall from grace so terribly like the people who've broken their end of the deal with him.

And that is what Azul tells [Name] (leaving out the parts that paint Azul as the scheming businessman he is, of course) in an effort and attempt to dissuade his sibling from staying friends with their troublemaking friends.

"Don't you see, my dear sibling? They're only using you and their troublemaking schemes would run your student record through the mud. They're getting you involved in so much drama and troubles, and as your older brother, I'd hate for you to be surrounded by such terrible influences," Azul says.

[Name] frowns a bit. Azul worded it as though they hadn't done anything wrong, which wasn't all that far from the truth, though. However, [Name] also knew that Azul was thinking that they were being dragged against their will to help out, which they weren't.

"Big brother... I'm helping out willingly, because I want to. Besides, they're my friends. Didn't the Sea Witch always help other people? We're Octavinelle students, we must always follow the Sea Witch's values."

[Name] replies. The facts about Octavinelle and the Sea Witch were things that the younger Ashengrotto used to try convincing Azul to let them go.

Azul clicks his tongue, his eyes narrowing as he pushes up his glasses that were starting to fall a bit. "Then perhaps you should try getting better, more behaved friends instead of the ones you have right now. What happened to the well-behaved [Name] I used to know?" Azul mutters under his breath, but [Name] could still hear Azul's words.

[Name] frowns at the last question. "What 'happened' is that life happened, Azul. Not everyone stays the same! I've changed!!"

Azul, however, has difficulty getting behind the thought, shaking his head in denial, "Then change back!! [Name], I want the old you! The one who'd listen and trust me without a second thought! The one who was dependent on me! The one who actually made me feel special!!"

That was the last straw for [Name]. They have grown tired of their older brother trying to keep them the same as they used to when they were a child. Can't Azul just let go of the past? "Well that [Name] is gone!! I'm independent now, Azul! I'm not a child! Stop treating me like one!"

[Name] shouts in a burst of anger, before their eyes widen, not having expected themself to actually blow up like that. Not necessarily regretting it, though, the young Ashengrotto quickly turns away and leaves Azul's office, ignoring their older brother's shouts for them to come back.

---

Azul breathes heavily as he falls to his knees, watching as his younger sibling walks away from him, closing the door behind them. The sight can't help but remind Azul of the time when he and [Name] were separated; just this time, [Name] was being pulled away by their 'friends' instead of their father.

Azul can't believe this!! Did [Name] really just walk away from him?! After everything Azul did in hopes of having his dearest sibling back?! How dare they!

How dare they change! How dare they change so much to the point Azul barely recognizes them! How dare they move on from the past so quickly, as if it didn't bother them! And how dare they even think of choosing their friends over him!

How dare they make him cry! How dare they say words that hurt far more than when those pesky merfolk would bully him!! How dare they leave him there, with tears falling down his eyes and with a heart aching for family!

How dare they, how dare they, how dare they!!

Azul takes a deep breath of resolution, his eyes narrowing behind the glint of his glasses. Never mind, then. He'll show them, he just knows it.

Azul calls the Leech twins over to the office, preparing to make a plan for the upcoming exam season, a list of specific names he wants them to target.

He'll show [Name]. He'll show them that he's right. That big brother knows best.

[starcrossedreaders]

HI! This is my very first time asking for a request, am so nervous! I was wondering if you could write a short story with Re4r Leon were he and his fem! reader are both married and have meet each other in raccoon city and are separated from Ashley and run into Ada in the room were you solve that tile puzzle in the game and she flirts with Leon and says the line “I might give you that greeting you were looking for. And it makes the reader feel like she is not good enough for Leon and remembering the shared kiss both him and Ada had back at raccoon city. You can add more too it if you would like.

This is so cute, nothing beats a jealous lover to comfort. Hopefully, you love reading this as much as I loved writing it, Enjoy!

Author's Note: This is so cute, nothing beats a jealous lover to comfort. Hopefully, you love reading this as much as I loved writing it, I could not find this scene for the life of me so hopefully you will Enjoy it!

Warnings: jealous reader, mentions of death, guns, injuries, some fighting, little bit of angst

"Ashley wait!" Your hand reached out for the girl before a door slammed down causing the ground to shake.

"Fuck," Your hand slaps down to your side as you turn around to look at your partner, Leon.

"It's okay, we'll find a way to get to her." He unholsters his gun as he roams around the room to find a way out.

You and Leon had been attached at the hips since the police academy. Have being the first ones in the room you two naturally sat next to each other striking up a conversation. The moment Leon had stuck his hand out to greet you the connection was instant. From there on you guys did everything together, from hand-to-hand combat training to study partners you guys naturally gravitated towards each other. Like the sun and moon, Bonnie and Clyde, or Adam and Eve. So when it came time to choose a department to work at naturally you both went for Raccoon Police Department. This is when your troubles began, and your relationship furthered. After almost losing you Leon knew he had to make you his. Life is too short to not take risks. His messy confession and rosy cheeks had quickly led you guys into your 5th year of dating.

Government training was punishing and pushed you guys to the brink of extinction. That never stopped you guys from going onward, always moving, never stopping to enjoy the beauties of life. Which is what led you guys here. Trying to save the president's daughter was no easy task, not when bio-weapons and the past came to haunt you guys.

"Over here!" Leon called out to you from afar. His voice led you through a small tunnel into a bigger room than the last. In the middle of the room stood a podium with various tiles. Further past that was a door with a huge empty piece where you assumed the tiles went.

"Another fucking puzzle seriously?" Walking towards the podium you gathered the tiles and walked to the door.

"I'm tired of this weird village's antics, these puzzles are annoying." Leon only snorted in agreement as he stood at your side focusing on the task at hand.

"That one goes there," His gloved hand pointed to space in the puzzle.

Lifting the rather heavy tile it clicked into place causing the door to groan a bit.

"That's something I guess," You guys continued on with the puzzle before you heard a loud clank above you.

Whipping your head up to the noise you examined the ceiling.

"Did you hear that?"

"I'll go check it out." Leon pulls out his gun to look around the room while you continue the puzzle.

A few moments later you heard a few muffled words and a groan before the clicking of heels filled the room.

Those god-forsaken heels. The heels belonged to someone who has been the point of many arguments between you and Leon. The heels were filled by a beautiful federal agent who had ruined your self-esteem. How could she be so beautiful at a time like this? You looked like you have been through hell and back, dried blood coated your hands as your tank top was ripped. When the one and only Ada Wong looked like a model.

Turning around you watched as your own husband walked into the room with his hands up on either side of his head and Ada right behind him with a gun pointed at his head.

"Ada what a pleasant surprise," You turned back around to put another tile in the slot. The door shook the ground as dust fell around you.

"And who's this Leon?"

"I don't do greetings Ada," You sang your words as you placed another tile in.

This door started to move up a little bit. The crack was big enough to fit your hand through.

"Well, I might give you the greeting you were looking for," Ada's voice dripped with sexual tension as she utters those words towards your OWN husband.

Leon was getting impatient, the gun pointed at his head made him antsy. His hand moved slightly before he grabbed her wrist to make her drop the gun. Ada's foot flew through the air aiming for Leon's neck before he twisted and grabbed it just in time. This fight went on like this for a few heartbeats before Leon pulled his knife out on her.

Pressing it against her neck his voice grew deeper as he spoke, "A bit of advice, use knifes next time, it's better for close encounters,"

Ada could only smile as he slowly pulled the knife away strapping it back in its rightful place.

"I'm surprised, you're better than the rookie I last saw," She paced the room as she spoke to Leon.

"Yea, well, people change Ada,"

"Do they now?"

Your back faced the pair as you tried to focus on the puzzle at hand, the last few pieces were tripping you up, or maybe it was the small voice eating away at you. 'He still loves Ada.' 'You're just a filler for what he can't have.' 'You are the second choice, don't think otherwise.' Sighing heavily you tried to not focus on the past, but the present. You have a daughter to save, you can't be wallowing in your own self-pity.

"Well, why don't we test that out," The clicking of her heels stopped as she stood in front of Leon.

All your mind could do was race and think back to the events of Raccoon City. That horrid train ride was the worst ride you have ever been on. Watching Ada press her lips onto Leon's made you want to scream but watching Leon kiss her back made you want to cry. Nothing was as painful as that. Trying to steady your breathing you thought back to the kiss that you and Leon shared at the altar. That is the kiss that matters the most. Not the lousy kiss that he and Ada shared on the train. It had to, you are his wife for crying out loud, not some sleazy federal agent that teases men and almost gets them killed whenever she's around.

"Can you shut up Ada, I'm trying to figure this damn puzzle out, not listen to you ramble nonsense," She could only click her tongue.

"You should really teach your partner some manners Leon," He could snort out a small laugh.

Whipping your body around you walked over to the pair, "No Ada, I think you should really learn how to not be a liability. Every time you show up on these missions you almost get Leon killed. So why don't you go back to your little agency and stick your nose in someone else's mission. AND MIND YOUR OWN GOD DAMN BUSINESS!"

You didn't really need to yell during the last part but there's something about her stupid beautiful face that made you even more upset.

Turning around you placed the last tile in place. The door groaned as the ground shook. A few heartbeats later the door was fully open. You pulled your gun out with your flashlight underneath as you walked toward the dark and dusty room ahead.

"Y/N Wait," Leon called out for you as he jogged to catch up to you. Ada only shook her head as she shot her grappling hook up into the ceiling. The line zipped her up till she was gone.

Twisting your body from either side to side checking for anything that could harm you guys. You were very content with finishing this mission in silence. Leon on the other head was dead set and determined on figuring out what was wrong.

"Y/N stop, please," His hand landed on your elbow in hopes to stop you. Yanking it out of his grasp you tried to move forward once again.

Leon soon stopped right in front of you and grabbed your shoulders. "Y/N talk to me... what's wrong,"

Leon was always so attentive, "What was that back there?" His soft voice filled the dark room. Your arms slacked to either side of your body as your head dropped.

Small sniffles filled the room as your feelings hit you dead on. Leon's eyebrows furrowed as he heard your sniffles. "Hey, talk to me," His right hand reached up to cup your face and swipe your tears away.

You felt awful right now, you guys were on a mission to save the president's daughter, you should not be involving your own personal matters in your work life. Your shoulders moved up and down as a shiver ran down your body. Ada is not the woman he wants and loves but for some reason, it just doesn't feel that way when you see them together. The kiss during Raccoon City haunts you from the late hours of the night to the early hours of the morning. The rubber band he got you for your one-year anniversary sat heavily on your ring finger.

"I-it's just ugh- y'know what, forget it. We have more important matters at hand,"

"No. We're going to talk about it now, I can't help if you don't tell me what's wrong," His voice was stern as his grip tighten slightly.

"Fine! Everything about Ada makes my gut turn. I feel as if I'm not enough for you. Ada has everything I don't. I know we're married and that should mean something but- The kiss- it's just..." You ran out of breath as you revealed your hidden feelings to your husband.

Leon's grip lightened as he slowly dragged his hands down your arms to your wrists.

"Baby... You know she means nothing to me You are the one I want. You have everything she doesn't love. I married you because you have been there through everything, thick and thin. There is nothing and I mean nothing anyone can do or say that would tear me away from you. We're going to build the brightest future together, two kids, a white picket fence, maybe even a dog," Your slight laugh made Leon smile, a rare occurrence these's days, too bad you could barely see it.

Leon leaned his forehead against yours. "I love you, forever and always okay?" Leon pressed a chaste kiss against your chapped lips.

Leon could barely hear you as you whispered back to him, "Forever and always."

[applebinnie]

▶︎˗ˏˋ k-k-keep ballin'! >< ´ˎ˗

𖦹 part I 𖦹

ᯤ basketball court regular!woonhak ᯤ ✎wc: 1k+, 12 images attached

→ Living in a small inner-city area, everybody knows everybody. But there's one particular boy that everybody surely knows—the boy who's constantly hogging the court, he basically owns it now. By perchance, you get to see this notorious "court monster" play up-close, after moments of watching him from afar, only to realize that he isn't really the kind of boy that you thought he was.

💭: RAGHHH this was originally written in filo nd I don't think it has the same charm as the filo one TT also, while writing this I found out I'm just Hak's age? I never felt more useless in my life 😭

🐈‍⬛⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚ (づ˶•༝•˶)づ 🏀๋࣭ ‧₊˚✩‧ੈ⋆·˚ ༘ *🐈‍⬛

Your grip on the bike steer tightened, preparing to make a turn. You're passing by the village park. A wide playground next to an open air basketball court. In the court is a familliar figure, dribbling and dunking like his life depended on it.

Kim Woonhak.

It's not an exaggeration to say that he's the coolest boy in the block. Everybody knows him, rival teams in the league fear him, and no one watches him up-close. The neighboring town's challengers avoid him like a plague, they know they don't stand a chance against him. He's unbelievably tall for a boy his age, and he uses his height and swift reflexes to his advantage.

It was a perfect all kill. Every dunk was a clean shot. He stopped and took off his beanie, taking a breather while wiping his sweaty hair and eyeing the court. Seconds later two boys entered the court. Myung Jaehyun and Kim Leehan. They're Woonhak's teammates, equally skilled, but they can't beat Woonhak any day.

That was it, you wouldn't want to get caught watching these three play. You started pedaling as you hear more of the boys enter the court.

You head home and open the village forum. The forum was run by the town officials for the villagers to post in. A link in the forum's bio led to a separate forum for the village youth, mainly consisting of teenagers or people in their early 20s. The forum provided an "anonymous message service", sort of like a freedom wall.

"to: mr. court-monster(?)

everytime I pass by the court I always see this boy in playing basketball. he frequents the court, but I heard he doesn't quite like when he's being watched while practicing. is this true? I was zoning out and unintentionally stared, I'm very sorry. Sir, if you ever read this, I really didn't mean to stare, I'm sorry,"

A post wrote. It was pretty recent, just a few days ago. But yeah, you've heard all about it, how he didn't like to be watched.

What if he saw you? what if he thought you were a weirdo? But he didn't bat an eye at you, like he always does. He often tends to silence the entire world when the ball is in his hand, so you don't think he noticed.

At the very least, it was from afar. As long as he didn't notice you, your conscience is clear.

🐈‍⬛⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚ (づ˶•༝•˶)づ 🏀๋࣭ ‧₊˚✩‧ੈ⋆·˚ ༘ *🐈‍⬛

Well yeah, he didn't notice you, but his friends sure did.

🐻:

Jaehyun and Leehan entered the court with a large grin.

"What the heck was that?" Jaehyun remarked teasingly, overlapping with Leehan's "You have got to be serious man" followed by giggles and an embarassing amount of head-shaking.

"Seriously, I didn't see anything!" Woonhak protests.

"She was just standing right there dude." Jaehyun says as he points to the spot you stopped on.

"What's that?" Leehan moves forward. He walks to the spot and picks up a single airpod.

"He looks at it as Jaehyun and Woonhak walk to him. He shows it to them with a pouty expression.

"How did she not notice that fall from her ear?" Woonhak remarks.

"Like you didn't see a person watching you like a hawk, you're not one to talk." Taesan joked from behind Woonhak.

Woonhak jumps, "Didn't see you there," he says as he slowly inches away from Taesan.

"You have absolutely no survival skills, I'll give you that." Taesan answers snarkily.

"So, what do we.." Leehan slowly says, lifting the single airpod.

"Woonhak, you gotta give it back, I mean, you're not actually planning on keeping it, are you?" Sungho says.

"Hey! What do you take me for?" Woonhak complains, grabbing the single airpod from Leehan's hand.

.✩✩✩.

As soon as Woonhak comes home he logs into his laptop and goes to the online forum.

🐈‍⬛⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚ (づ˶•༝•˶)づ 🏀๋࣭ ‧₊˚✩‧ੈ⋆·˚ ༘ *🐈‍⬛

Scrolling through the form lazily, keeping up with the latest gossip along with threads of people asking questions and anonymous messages. The posts rushed like flood. There were videos too, videos of yesterday's conflict involving two drunk teens from the neighboring town. You decide to watch one of the videos. The quality was low, but how could you not recognize the man?

Jung Sungchan.

He was as notorious as Woonhak, only he was a little older and more known in a bigger vicinity. Sungchan is known to be cold and unlikeable. But one thing is he's really, really good. You've seen it yourself. Because unlike Woonhak, he loves being watched. He loves to bask in the attention even if he doesn't seem like it, and it's something that he will never admit. But it was pretty obvious given the scandalous amount of fights he's been in.

he got into a fight with a guy named yangyang, some eyewitnesses even say that they were attempting to drag some of woonhak's team mates in the mess.

You reach to your pocket for your airpods as you watch the video. The audio wasn't exactly nice. The scream threats might wake up your brother, Yujin, who was sleeping right next to you. He's one of Woonhak's friends, so you figured hearing this might alarm him.

The problem is, where are your airpods? You open the pod, revealing nothing but air. You panic at the sight of the empty pod and reach for your pocket to find it. You did find one, but you couldn't find the other one even if you wriggle and turn the pocket outside in. You accidentally scroll to the very top of the forum in panic, refreshing it. You were then greeted by a post that was made just minutes ago.

You wanted to curse, wrath and hide in embarrassment. This was the last situation you wanted to be in. It was recent, but not recent enough considering how yujin even made it into the comment section. You opened Woonhak's profile and messaged him.

"Seen."

You started to get nervous. You ears turned red as you imagine every possible reaction that Woonhak could make. You can already imagine how awkward the situation would be.

But we're dealing with Woonhak. If he is the Woonhak that people are talking about he'd probably just hand the airpod and get it over with.

And that'll be it. Why did you even get nervous in the first place?

🐈‍⬛⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚ (づ˶•༝•˶)づ 🏀๋࣭ ‧₊˚✩‧ੈ⋆·˚ ༘ *🐈‍⬛

🐻:

🐈‍⬛⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚ (づ˶•༝•˶)づ 🏀๋࣭ ‧₊˚✩‧ੈ⋆·˚ ༘ *🐈‍⬛

💭: hey guys! this was rushed so it's vv bad and the amount of times I accidentally posted this from my drafts is just criminal (x_x) if by chance you saw the earlier version PLEASE it will be just between us (╥﹏╥) Also, I changed my update schedule to Saturday! How does that sound? thank you for reading and wish you love, lovies!

-val 🧸

[meguwumibear]

fics for gaza

hello everyone!! let's see how this goes. i will be participating in the @ficsforgaza initiative in an effort to raise money towards vetted fundraisers. please follow the blog and reach out with additional questions there.

sponsor a wip

if you would like to sponsor any of my following wips, you will make a donation to any of the vetted fundraisers and send proof of donation in the form of a screenshot to myself. please block out all personal info when sending proof and indicate which of the following wips you'd like your donation to count towards. $1 will get you 100 words.

better a beta

beta!dabi x omega!reader (NSFW, dubious consent) endeavor has a hot new intern at his hero agency and dabi can't wait to ruin her

no rest for the wicked 1,500/10,000

post war dabi x reader (NSFW) the plf successfully defeats hero society. shame they're having such a hard time rebuilding the world in their image. lucky for them you worked for the hpsc and are great with pr

untitled

hawks x reader (NSFW, dubious consent)

i'm having a hard time summarizing this but basically the reader was left behind by the plf after the gigantomachia incident and hawks finds her holed up in a hotel room. they've both had sexual experiences with dabi and in his absence, well...

untitled

megumi x reader (no curse au, currently sfw) 1,000/?

meet ugly in which megumi loses control of his dogs and in an earnest attempt to stop them from escaping you get knocked flat on your ass

untitled

megumi x reader (no curse au, NSFW) 500/8,000

your shitty roommate cheats on her nice boyfriend and you suffer the consequences. years later you reconnect with her ex and wonder what life would have been like if you'd been the one to date him instead.

untitled

nai x reader (currently sfw)

once, as a child, you stick your nose where it doesn't belong. you learn what a plant is and what your survival costs. now you're a plant engineer who's caught the eye of someone or something dangerous.

i was born knowing you 500/?

astarion x reader (currently sfw, plot heavy, complex mc) a mysterious, irremovable ring finds itself on your finger. as long as you wear it you are cursed to be forgotten. decades into your sentence, you stumble across a pale elf able to remember.

requests

i will also open 3-5 request slots. same pricing as above ($1 per 100 words) however I am going to cap requests at 1,000 words. i reserve the right to decline requests i do not feel comfortable taking on.

what i'll write for:

jjk: open to most characters, especially megumi, yuuji, sukuna, and nanami. if you request a character i do not feel i can do justice i will inform you so

bnha: again open to most characters, especially dabi, tomura, hawks, shouto, and shinsou. and again if you request a character i do not feel i can do justice i will inform you so

trigun: wolfwood, vash, nai, legato

bg3: astarion

you can ask about other fandoms but these are currently my mains.

i am comfortable writing dark content and nsfw. if you would like to request something from me i ask you do so off anon with your age in your bio.

i will not write pregnancy or kid fics but am open to basically anything else. if you are curious about other content i will or won't write for feel free to ask.

i will do my best to send updates regarding the wc of your request. please keep in mind i work during the week and do not always have the time to write consistently.

[crepesuzette2023]

So whats like the general consensus about Stu and John? Do we think they ever messed around or not?

Ooooh, I won't burn and scar my typing fingers on anything like "general consensus," and my cop-out answer is: depends on who you ask. I mean, if you're living in a world where 'a man being with a woman' = straight, or 'a man who never came out unequivocally as queer' = straight, then John and Stu very much never messed around, and, more importantly, didn't feel the desire to.

But I think if you look at it with an open mind, without being afraid of the possibility, you'll see it's more likely they did than that they didn't.

First, you have John, with his life-long romantic idea of being in love with your creative partner (see: his comments on Yoko and Paul)—an idea that fits Stu seamlessly, and perhaps even started with him. In the Hunter Davies bio, John (in '67) calls Stu Paul's predecessor in the 'my trusted partner in art' role.

There is also this conversation with Stu's girlfriend, Astrid Kircherr, as related by Backbeat director Iain Softley:

Paying tribute to Astrid this week, film director Iain Softley revealed her moving words from his interviews with her when he made 1994 movie Backbeat about her and Stuart’s romance.

They hint at a complex relationship between her, Stuart and John. She said it was only after Stuart died that she and John “took a load of pills” and talked for 12 hours about “all the things on our minds about Stuart”. “‘He was jealous when Klaus and I fancied Stuart more, and took him home and left John out,” she told Iain.

“He told me he really loved Stuart, but was afraid of the feeling.”

Iain adds: “I think she thought he meant as a friend, I don’t think there was any suggestion they were in a relationship. But Stuart had always been John’s best friend, they shared a flat in Liverpool. John would write to Stuart as ‘Jesus Christ to John the Baptist’, in the sense Stuart was showing him the way. He looked up to him.

“There was a sense John didn’t want Stuart taken away from him, he didn’t want Stuart to stay in Hamburg.

“At the same time he was very fond of Astrid, but I think there was a conflict there.”

If John was afraid of the feeling, then I'm thinking he felt something that, at the time, and probably still today, was a scary thing to feel. I'll leave it at that.

Also, they were, what? 18, 19, 20 years old? At that age, odds are you do fool around, even if you regret it afterwards. Nothing wrong with that.

Look at this picture of Stu (r.) with Astrid and Astrid's ex, Klaus Voormann. Klaus, who later said he and Astrid didn't work as a couple because she wanted him to be exactly like her image of him, and whose marriage (to a woman) was a platonic marriage of convenience, according to himself. We have now reached the beautiful stage of come onnn! "Straight" was at the party, but so were many others. These relationships were messy! That's awesome!

And how do we feel about John feeling up Gene Vincent, while Paul and George look on knowingly, and Pete Best blanks out? We feel joyous and unsurprised.

A word about Paul vs. Stu, since we're (sort of) at it.

It's possible (what an understatement) to think of their rivalry as sexual rivalry. This is, once more, hinted at in Backbeat, where Stu is more or less giving away John to Paul.

And yet. I think it was more than that. I think everyone, back then, was fighting for more than a bed-partner. They were fighting for their future, for a life unlike their parents'. Paul was fighting for the band, Stu was fighting for John to join him on his artist's way (even giving 'rock'n'roll' a try), and John..

John was, on the one hand, the person either of the others felt he needed in order to realize his dream. But on the other hand, he was the least decided of the three. He may have perceived that, within the trio, he had the fewest fall-back options: Stu had his obvious, much-mentored artistic talent. Paul had a possible academic future bwxt to his musical talent, plus a clear determination to make it in music. John had talent in spades, but perhaps less of a clear-cut idea of where and how to apply it. So he tried keeping both of them close...?

With fun scenes like these as a result:

John sure is feeling campy/cuddly, while Paul is incandescent with rage. A hot look for both of them.

In the end, we don't know if they ever did fool around. My usual reply in those cases is: I hope they did, if they both wanted it. I hope it was good.

I need to check out this book:

John and Paul look happy.

[khytal]

I’ve been meaning to write about this since ep12 aired but I haven’t had time until now. I'm sure someone's already brought it up by this point but I wanted to put it into my own words, so here I am :]

I’m gonna talk about the “plant song”, as it’s called in stampede’s soundtrack: an 8-bar motif that comes up in several songs in the ost (but I’ll only be going through 3 of them + some other things)

*I consider "common front"/"trigun stampede" to be vash's main theme, rather than "vash the stampede" (more on this later)

it's used (or not, in one case) in some very interesting ways, which have interesting implications :)

I'm referencing track 28 from vol2 of the ost, "plant song on erhu", as the base that I'm comparing the other songs to. aside from some stylistic ornamentation, it's just the 8-bar melody on its own (which I've transcribed in the above image). this is also currently the only version of the song in the soundtrack that features this melody as a solo, with no other instruments.

some notes before I get into it:

-for my sake, I refer to "common front" as vash's theme in this post x) I know it's a shorter version of "trigun stampede" (they're the same song), but the track title makes it easier for me to associate it with vash so I'll be using that instead of "trigun stampede". the titles are more or less interchangeable though

-the rests in measures 3-4 and 7-8 in the transcription for "bio-power reactor" and "common front" don't exist in the songs themselves. I inserted them so that the corresponding parts line up with when they occur in the plant song

-the excerpt from "bio-power reactor" is a diminution (note lengths were cut in half) to make the comparison easier to see

-in "common front" 's case, the transcription isn't entirely accurate but it's more about the notes than the rhythm u-u)b

-this motif is heard in more than just these 3 songs, but about a third of the ost recycles sections from other songs (ex.: "vash the stampede" is just "the jeneora rock resistance" and "trigun stampede" stitched together), so I picked the ones I felt were like "source" songs. since this is about plants, I only had to look for the tracks that were most representative of the twins and the plants themselves

-knives has like 7 different versions of his theme (including the piano/duet ones) but they're all more or less the same so. yeah. I referenced the vocal version in vol2 since it emphasizes the plant song as the melody, and has a slight variation

-I don't talk about the duet here since it's pretty clear that it's for both vash and knives, and it's just a fancy version of the plant song. not much to analyze about it for this post

-I did annotate the music I transcribed, but no knowledge of music terminology is necessary to understand it. it's all pattern recognition, and I mostly just highlighted where the similarities and differences were

-please don't take any of my interpretations as fact, I just thought it'd be cool to point out the motif. you're more than welcome to have your own interpretations using the transcriptions I've included ^^

okay here we go :)

-the songs are listed by how closely they resemble the original plant song, with "millions knives" (and any other related themes) being nearly identical and "common front"'s excerpt being something barely recognizable as the plant song

-"millions knives" has this motif everywhere. you could say it's representative of him being in tune with his identity as an independent plant. or almost like he represents the plants--oh wait, he does (self-proclaimed, but that's irrelevant here)

-almost every time the plant song is heard, knives is there/involved. prior to ep12's implication that it comes from the plants (and the ost outright confirming this), it wouldn't be odd to assume that it's his theme; that's how frequently it pops up. and it's even more obvious in the soundtrack..........except it might as well be his theme, despite its origins lying with the plant race

basically: *knives voice* my theme now

-even though "bio-power reactor" refers to the plants, their song is barely present in the track (it's heard at the beginning and end). kinda sorta makes it feel like a transference of the theme to knives. like the plants are just vibing (they are, mostly) while knives is taking the reins (he is, mostly)

-the reason the track "vash the stampede" isn't part of this is because the plant song is nowhere to be found in it. while it does use "trigun stampede"/"common front", it doesn't have the part that I transcribed

(if you really want to read into this, you could consider the motif's absence a reference to vash being more akin to a human than a plant. I can't say whether this was intentional or not though, considering "vash the stampede" is just a mix of 2 pre-existing songs and has no melodies unique to it)

[-feel free to skip this tangent: "common front"/"trigun stampede" stands out to me because the lyrics are more about vash than the track that's literally named after him (which isn't even an original composition for some reason):

"here I come, here I come any enemy is powerless in front of me here I come, here I come, keep anybody that get(s) in my way, away from me

get everybody involved like a typhoon pull the trigger, shoot down [on a/on the/'nother?] full moon can't you see what I'm [hiding/having?] in my hands call me vash the stampede, and feel love and peace"

not that "jeneora rock resistance" 's lyrics aren't about vash, but I think it's odd that "vash the stampede" doesn't use the lyrics from "trigun stampede" beyond the initial "here I come, there is no one anywhere who is a match for me"]

-"common front" is vash's main theme to me, since it references the plant song while also being about vash himself. it describes vash as he is amongst humans, with the motif serving as an acknowledgment of his race without overpowering the rest of the song (unlike with knives, where it's nearly constant and makes up the core of his theme. if this was intentional on the composer's part, it's very clever)

-the bit I transcribed from "common front" is from the part in the middle that features a flute solo (1:17-1:26; or 1:36-1:45 in "trigun stampede"). you can also hear this in the low brass around 2:27 of "millions knives", where it follows the same pattern as the section in "common front". it looks like this (written as it's heard, without the 2 measures of rest I added):

"millions knives" and this fragment from "common front" are both in the key of b minor ("common front" starts in d minor and briefly modulates to b minor before going back to d minor)

personally I like that knives's variation is grand/drawn out, while vash's is played freely. it highlights their personalities, though we don't really get to see much of vash being "free" in stampede

-there's a very short call and response bit in ep12, where vash sings the first 2 bars to the plants and they sing back to him:

nothing specific to write about here but vash's "La"'s in the jp dub are more articulated because of how japanese people pronounce the "L" sound; whereas jyb's articulation is much softer/barely noticeable (though he sings the 2nd measure with 1 "la" instead of articulating each new note. also his F# was a little flat but like. don't take that as an actual criticism lmao I just have a really good ear)

I don't know why the plants' responses are unique between the two dubs, but I thought it'd be cool to transcribe that part as well. the rhythms were a little hard to pin down since they're sung freely so idk if it's accurate but I know the notes are right x)

-I'm guessing the dub's VA for young vash couldn't sing the C so they cut it and had them start a beat later to compensate and match the lip flaps:

not a significant difference, since the altered part exists in the plant song so it doesn't stand out unless you're listening for it (like I was), but yeah. there you have it

(-I'm sure people know this by now but I figured I'd mention it anyway since I'm talking about it. the reason "knives" asks vash what he's humming in the flashback is because it was rem who asked him that in the original memory. the song seems to be something that all plants know instinctively, so knives should've known what it was. and this discrepancy is part of what caused vash to become aware of himself again......which means knives screwed up his own plan x)

(I wonder if knives will ever talk about what the song means to him))

-when vash is poking at the piano keys at the end of ep12, he's just playing an octave (between a low and high Bb, but that isn't important). my guess is that he's trying to play the plant song, specifically starting at the octave that ties into the triplet, but for some reason he can't get any further than that.

I think he's reluctant to hear the song of his people, the one that made up the duet he and his brother used to play; the one that used to calm him down but may now instead only remind him of what he did/lost. maybe he's trying to reassure himself with the song, and is unable to with the weight it suddenly holds for him

(side note: the duet is in the key of a minor and no Bb's are played in it, so he's not trying to play either parts of the duet)

-------------------------------------------

extra things I noticed that aren't very conclusive (so don't take them too seriously) but are still worth mentioning:

-these are also arranged from most to least similar

-........yeah I found the plant song in "tombi". the augmented triplets in the pre-chorus tipped me off. I'm pretty certain this is a coincidence though, since it's the only piece of the motif that I heard. I didn't look too much into it, but if "tombi" was written with stampede in mind and if kvi baba was asked to incorporate the plant song then. well. x) anyway I just wanted to point it out, coincidence or not

-knives's theme is here again but for the express purpose of being compared to "orphanage" of all things, because they're in the same key. this 2-bar excerpt plays from 0:18-0:22 in "orphanage", and it seems to be pulled from "millions knives"

the notes are split between 2 different instruments (3 if you count the piano chord reinforcing the A) but they form that exact phrase if you put them together and follow the main beats

which leads me to this point: knives's theme is in "orphanage" because he's linked to it through the eye of michael (again this is me reading deeply into the pattern, so I wouldn't say this was on purpose but if it was.....!)

-elendira's theme doesn't have the plant song in it; at least, not directly. she's actually the reason I ended up writing this whole post, because I wanted to know if the plant song was in her theme. and it's not. fascinating.

anyway this one's a HUGE stretch but I find it to be an interesting interpretation: the plant motif possibly being an inversion, as a way of saying she's neither plant nor human (as mentioned by dr conrad)

-------------------------------------------

that's all I have to say about this! I hope it wasn't too confusing x') thank you for reading, if you made it this far. the plant song is pretty significant in stampede so I'm really looking forward to hearing how it's used in s2 o)-<

(if there's anything I missed or if you have any questions feel free to ask!)

[the-pen-pot]

Merthur Fic Ideas & WiPs

So I have a Merlin fic ideas page over on Patreon but obviously I can't link direct to that from AO3. So I'm popping one on here so you all know what's incoming/in the works/rattling around in my brain.

As there are, you know, a lot, I'll pop it under a read more to spare your dashes.

(I thought I'd made this post here on Tumblr before but I can't find it, so perhaps I was wrong)

Works In Progress

(All drafts are currently available over on Patreon - first chapter free to read. The rest are available to patrons in the $5 tier and up. They WILL become available on AO3 eventually. See bio or pinned post for link if you're interested ♥)

King and Court - 24 chapters currently drafted and available on Patreon - this one will begin updating on AO3 next as it's the one I've written most of.

Summary: Loneliness is an insidious thing. When Merlin looks at Arthur, he sees not just a prince waiting for his time to rule, but a young man struggling to find his place in the world, with little help from anyone else.

The truth is, Arthur needs more than the friendship Merlin can offer. He needs people he can trust: men and women who will become his court and his confidants, and if he is going to survive to take the throne and lead Camelot into its golden age, he needs them sooner rather than later.

Finding loopholes in Uther’s laws is no easy feat. Court life is a dangerous game, but it’s one Merlin has every intention of winning so that Arthur can have knights of his choosing by his side.

And then there is the matter of his magic…

(In my head this is basically entitled *~shenanigans, love and a golden age~*. Canon divergent AU)

Love Is Never Lost - 11 chapters currently drafted and available on Patreon.

Summary: Uther Pendragon has never approved of Arthur’s friendship with Merlin. There had been disappointed sighs and whispered warnings, but Arthur had never thought it would come to this: scars on Merlin’s back and a manservant made hollow and thin by cruelty.

Yet Uther’s efforts to drive a wedge between them instead bring Merlin’s greatest secret to light, and once the wound of secrecy has been purged, their healing brings them closer together than ever before.

Much to Uther Pendragon’s horror.

When Merlin disappears, Arthur is left questioning the true honour of the crown and the value of a kingdom forever stained by his father’s tyranny. Will he answer the call of duty, or will he sacrifice everything to chase the cries of his heart?

Tags will include: magic reveal, corporal punishment, slavery themes (and all that may imply), missing presumed dead, good Morgana, Arthur's POV, slow burn, dreamwalking, happily ever after eventually plus whatever else shows up as I write these!

Sign No More - 7 chapters drafted on Patreon. This fic is my beloved. My baby. I'm obsessed. Fantasy Age-Of-Sail AU

Summary: Prince Arthur Pendragon, Captain of the Llamrei, would far rather spend his days patrolling Camelot's Waters than assume his place on the throne. Yet when he finds the wreckage of a vast ship and one lone survivor on board, nothing can prepare him for the path his life will lead.

Nor the demands his heart will make.

Hiraeth Ideas

Additions to the Hiraeth universe ideas : Just some little bulletpoints to remind me about things I would love to add to the Hiraeth verse once it's actually done.

Gwaine vs. a lemon

Merlin gets flu (my biologist heart wants to explore Merlin's immune system vs. Camelot germs plus no modern drugs. Excellent hurt/comfort opportunity - not that Hiraeth really needs more of that.)

Merlin "tormenting" Arthur via the bond (Explicit,  definitely)

Merlin shows Arthur (and others?) modern London.

The knights of Camelot at the zoo (sort of)

Maps/globes/celestial bodies knowledge

💀 Agravaine 💀

The one with the eclipse (some king and his sorcerer are trying to show off said sorcerer's power. There just so happens to be an eclipse.They know what it is so Merlin cannot claim credit, but he totally fucks with them anyway.)

Non-Hiraeth ideas

Magic Reveal Via Time-Travel  (Added June 2024)

Merlin and the knights get themselves into some kind of dire situation. Merlin, in a panic and realising he's not strong or knowledgable enough to save them, pretty much demands that the universe in general sends someone who can help.

What actually happens is he gets flung five years into the future, and his future self (who is more capable, among other things) takes his place. He sorts out the dire situation, whatever it may be, and that leaves Arthur and the others with future!Merlin, who is not only very magically capable but 100% their Merlin with lots more confidence, as irreverent as ever, and unmistakably thrumming with magic. They can all feel it, because Merlin makes no effort to hide.

More to the point future!Merlin remembers this from the other side, when he was younger and the same thing happened. He knows this is when the others find out about his magic, and he is able to answer their questions and emotional responses calmly and rationally, because he already knows Arthur isn't going to kill him or hate him or anything.

(Quite the opposite, in fact, since he's having to hide the fact that Arthur's ring is currently gleaming on his finger. He is grateful, at least, that he wasn't a. Pulled naked out of the bath for this magical meeting or b. wearing his crown, which would have been hard to explain without breaking Arthur's tiny brain.)

Meanwhile, young!Merlin is in Camelot, five years in the future, and Arthur and the others are a bit older, a (very little bit) wiser, and are also doing a brilliant job of calming him down and letting him know everything will be all right. And actually showing him the golden age they achieve -- that it's not impossible and out of reach.

Possibly a long four parter from young!Merlin, young!Arthur, older!Merlin and older!Arthur's points of view. Assuming I can write it without being confusing 🤣

Merlin's Voice - possibly a bit dark

My desire to put Merlin inhurt/comfort situations knows no bounds, but this one actually stems from the fact that Merlin doesn't remember the hug after he's been missing in Servant of Two masters and I'm weak for Arthur being a worried angsty little lamb about his missing manservant.

I'd probably go AU and make Morgana good, with Merlin's magic being known, and just have Morgause basically taking Morgana's place, except she and Agravaine are trying to get information about Camelot's weaknesses, and who better to lean on than Arthur's idiot manservant.

Cue Merlin being missing for days, Arthur panicking, Agravaine being dismissive as usual, and Morgause growing increasingly frustrated at the fact that she cannot get anything of note out of Merlin.

In the end, she tries a spell to force him to speak, except that Merlin is so fiercely determined not to betray Camelot and Arthur that his own magic takes the spell and twists it, forging it into a spell of silence instead.

Morgause gets cruel in her frustration, but eventually, Merlin manages to escape and head back for Camelot. It's no easy journey, and more to the point, the spell silencing him will not come off. No matter how hard he tries. He was so determined not to say anything that his magic went overboard in an effort to meet his intent.

I want to write that hug so Merlin remembers it. I want to have Arthur initially teasing about the silence but getting increasinlgy distressed by it. I want the realisation that Merlin is so incredibly expressive that the others rarely need him to write what he wants to say, they can get the gist of it from just a look.

It's one of those ones with ~vibes~  I want to explore, but I have no idea how it ends.

The "Back To The Start" One

So I made this post on Tumblr and it did numbers (I was thinking 4 people would "hell yes" me, not 2000 +)

"Not me sitting here thinking about writing a fic where we start with Arthur dying in Merlin's arms after Camlaan and it's all tragedy and then the magic rises and they both end up back at that first day, in the marketplace, Merlin with "How long have you been training to be a prat, my lord?" dying on his lips as they stare at each other, fascinated, horrified, so fucking relieved because they both remember ALL of it and none of it's happened yet and this time they can maybe make it to a different, better ending.

And they can do it together."

BUT TO EXPAND

I want to explore how Arthur and Merlin would interact with each other having lived in one another's pockets for ten years, only to be sent right back to the beginning, while retaining everything they are to each other. Merlin's magic newly revealed from the confession by the lakeside. The two of them standing there with every mistake in their future rather than their past and realising that maybe "two sides of the same coin" means "you need to work together, dumbass".

I want the two of them shocked by how young the other is. How different Camelot seems from what they're used to. How harsh Uther looks now that they know it can be different (though not as different as it should be, Arthur realises.) I want them correcting their mistakes (and each other's mistakes) and taking all that they know of each other and rebuilding their relationship (all their relationships, actually) on that honesty.

And the others don't remember. Morgana is still Morgana, still struggling, but still hoping to be saved. Mordred's just a boy.  Lancelot never sacrificed himself and it's so clear in Arthur's eyes that Gwen loved them both but that she loved Lancelot first and in a different way.

The knights end up at Camelot earlier simply because Arthur and Merlin set out to find them earlier. 

("We need Gwaine." "Do we? Really?" "Yes, you great prat. Come on.")

And so much more.

Merlin's magic and the seasons (This one has actually been commission and is incoming entitled The Water and the Wilds)

I started exploring this in one of the ficlets coming soon, but I've been toying with the idea lately about Merlin getting to a certain age and his magic growing/changing in such a way that the seasons start to affect both his magic and his apperance. His blue of his eyes change hue, his power's focus shifts, and perhaps his temperament subtlely changes.

E.g. in winter his eyes are the blue of old, dense ice, shocking, almost aquamarine. His magic is sharper, more brittle. He has an affinity for metal and iron, if you can get him out of bed of course, because he has a tendency to hibernate. His anger is cold and disdainful.

In spring he's loving and affectionate, full of compassion. Things grow. His healing spells are strongest. His eyes are forget-me-not blue. He's full of energy and barely sleeps.

Come summer, his dragonlord powers and abilities come to the fore. He is steady and dependable. Shockingly competent. His eyes are the colour of cornflowers: true blue. His affinity is for heat and fire. Battle strategy and defence.

In autumn, his magic is strongest. The whole world is coming to fruition (think harvest) and so is Merlin. His biggest, most world-changing spells work best. He can move mountains or turn back seas. His eyes are darker, navy and touches of indigo.  He is also better at manipulating time and talking to the dead, because he is strong and the veil between the worlds is at its thinnest.

All that to say I want a story about Merlin (and Arthur) learning all these things about how his magic has changed, and then learning together how to marry up all those facets into a greater whole, so that Merlin's power is increased regardless of the seasons, because while he may respond to the changes of the world, he is not one man broken into four parts, but a whole capable of great things.

The "Fake Favourite" One 

This is basically me having a desperate urge to write all the political whatevers of Arthur taking Merlin as a favourite, smashed together with a fake dating AU.

Basic premise is simple: in an effort to avoid the latest princess eyeing up his hand for marriage (and with Uther's blessing, because it suits him for now to put off marrying Arthur to someone) Arthur decides that he will pretend Merlin is his lover and favourite. They spend all their time together anyway, and half the court rumour already appears to think they sleep together, so it will hardly be any change to either of them.

Except all Arthur has to do is say the words to make it happen, but there's a lot more to being a favourite than that. Merlin can't continue to serve him, and then there's the whole situation of a new wardrobe (which Merlin and his magic both fight against) the political wheeling and dealing that comes with a servant being elevated in status, not to mention the subtle ways in which the court first tries to manipulate Merlin, and then is manipulated by him in turn (for the good of Camelot)

What starts out as Arthur aggressively but jokingly courting Merlin (because Merlin said he was bad at it) ends up much closer to *actual* courting.

And no, Merlin cannot sleep in the antechamber, because the chambermaids will notice they're not sharing a bed.

(This basically would end up being a story about Merlin no longer being a servant but becoming a valued member of the court almost by accident (but being very good at it) and the two fools falling helplessly in love with each other while they pretend to be lovers.)

Morgana, Gwen and the knights would be placing ridiculous bets and generally watching it all with disbelieving horror and delight because only these two idiots could make falling in love so complicated.

The "Stuck In Close Quarters" One 

Merlin and Arthur trapped underground in VERY close proximity (like lying on top of each other) and running out of air and Merlin’s magic is too weak (thanks to a battle maybe) to get them out but he can replenish the air but there is no way Arthur won’t notice.

Cue a magic reveal in close quarters and love confessions.

The Horn of Cathbad one

Merlin dies and due to some glitchiness with his magic, he doesn’t immediately come back. Instead, Arthur, in the freshness of his grief, reaches for magic.

He uses the Horn of Cathbhad to see Merlin again, knowing that if he summons Merlin’s ghost and looks back, then Merlin will stay. (Maybe Gaius warns him - but he doesn’t take it as a warning, but a blessing.)

And Merlin answers, and Arthur doesn’t dismiss his ghost. There are ghostly shenanigans and while it’s not the same as having his friend back, it helps. He doesn’t really have to grieve.

Except that Merlin’s spirit starts to become restless and angry, and it reaches the point where Merlin is *begging* Arthur to let him go. He doesn’t know about his immortality but something is pulling at him.

And Arthur finds the strength to let him go and it’s like losing him all over again.

And then, of course, Merlin comes back ❤️

Blind Merlin One

Arthur and co. suspect Merlin has magic but haven't spoken of it to him yet. While out on patrol, Merlin takes a curse meant for Arthur, one that effectively blinds him until "you see the truth". Arthur thinks it's about the magic and it dredges all that out into the open, but the curse doesn't leave. Merlin quickly adapts to using magic to "see" (in a manner of speaking) and keeps his eyes covered to hide their glow.

Of course, Arthur's threatened about Merlin's vulnerability and baffled about the curse etc. It turns out that the truth they need to see is how they feel for each other. Angst/hurt/comfort/fluff because I can.

Omegaverse One (Maybe a series? Sort of tempted to try out some MPreg)

Well off my normal beaten path, but I keep what-iffing it so I'm writing it down here (and will totally draw on some of the mechanics and plot points of Gilded Cage)

Not all magic users are Omegas, but all Omegas have magic, which means Merlin has more than one secret to keep, and he keeps it well. It "helps" that when he presented in Ealdor, one of the Alphas in the village attacked and bit him, forming enough of a bond to stabilise his biochemistry before he managed to escape. It was that incident that pushed him and Hunith into making him go to Camelot.

Merlin successfully hides what he is for years, thinking he's safe, but the Alpha who bit him never stops looking for him. The Alpha eventually tracks him down, threatens Merlin etc., but gets killed in a tavern brawl before he can make good on his threats. That, in turn, breaks the bond that's been keeping Merlin stable and able to pass, in general, as a beta.

Cue it all going a little bit to hell because Arthur thought he knew everything about Merlin and it turns out he really didn't, and now his irritating and attractive beta manservant who always smelled good is an irritating, attractive, sorcerous omega manservant who smells amazing... etc.

(and maybe this one sounded a lot better in my head? There's a whole heap of nuance I'm not putting down - but it's a possible future Merlin fic.)

Different curse fic

A sorcerer curses Arthur with magic in order to make the Pendragon heir everything that the king hates. He wants to see if he is a hypocrite who will spare his sorcerous son, or a tyrant who will damn the ties of blood and execute him.

Cue Arthur frantically trying to hide the fact that he has magic from everyone, including Merlin, except that's fantastically unsuccessful because Merlin has magic, knows magic, *is* magic.

Then you've got Merlin desperately trying to hide the fact that Arthur had magic from the court while concealing that *he* has magic from Arthur. He very small and tired and stressed about it.

But the upshot is that Arthur has a better understanding of magic - how it is not, in itself, bad or corrupt - and because his magic has no chill and absolutely adores Merlin it acts as the pivotal point that brings out all their secrets (and desire)

The Lancelot and a dead body one -probably shortish.

This is more a scene that anything, but I keep thinking of how to expand it a bit better (I did a text chat thing on tumblr about this plot bunny I need to write it one day)

Arthur and all the knights are in an antechamber off the armoury after an evening training session. The door is ajar. They hear Lancelot come in and Gwaine's about to call out to him when Merlin stumbles through the door.

'I need your help burying a body!'

And Lancelot doesn't squawk or demand answers but just says, in a "so done with this shit" voice: 'Again?'

Meanwhile Arthur and the others are like "What the hell?" and follow Merlin and Lancelot out towards the border of the Darkling Woods where there is a huge and very dead monster just.... lying there.

Then we have Merlin making desperate and really bad excuses, which Arthur would be more willing to pretend he believed if Merlin wasn't bloodied and swaying where he stood and also had flowers blooming around his feet, because Merlin used a lot of magic to take this thing down and it's kind of leaking a bit.

And then we go on from there with the knights spending all night trying to dig a big enough hole and asking questions and all that, and Merlin being too tired and beaten up to really put them off - and then I end it somehow. (I did say this was just a scene!)

[bonefall]

omg sparrow fur just got confirmed to become the second leader of skyclan

Ok, that's good. I'll have to think of how to go foward from here.

If Sparrow Heart had died before taking leadership, I was going to write that as her being INFURIATED by it. Remembered forever as Skystar's stooge, his general, his loyal servant, but never having power of her own. And, generations later, she'd grab for it in any way possible.

With her being Sparrowstar, I'm going to keep her ambition and desire for power, but she had a chance to enact her vision in life. She was the first cat to inherit 9 lives, even, with how BB!Skystar is the first leader to die. She continued his "legacy," not out of any actual love or respect to him, but because it's HER TURN.

All these years of groveling, of having to bend and bargain around the desire of stronger cats, now it's HERS. She is the one who bargains, who makes others grovel. No one will make her scared and powerless ever again.

It's going to continue the ferocious rivalry between SkyClan and ThunderClan, especially as Owlstar takes power. Sparrowstar is definitely gone by the time of the River Kingdom's succession crisis, though, she's too battle hungry to rule for so long.

Or maybe Sparrowstar will end up inventing some kitty war crimes and become one of the first Dark Forest cases. After all, it's very in-character of BB!Skystar to not officialize an heir, and force Sparrow Heart to have to carve a path through his bio-kits for the power she is owed...

(Mumbling to self: and then that makes a pretty interesting claim for SkyClan during the River Kingdom succession crisis... "we need no claim to your throne to take it from you")

We'll see!

[wakebymoonsleepbysun]

Oh look another bio-spider DJ. This one smol. Sorry the comic is kinda lazy, I can't decide if DJ's in a forest or a cave setting.

Longer ramble below the cut.

(Note that while I draw my sona in place of a reader/Y/N character, if I ever do write this it will be written as a reader-insert, not a self-insert.)

Rough story I came up with is Y/N getting lost in a forest or cave or something, and DJ making webs with arrows on them to point the way. Reader doesn't know who their mysterious benefactor is for a bit, and are pretty surprised when they see him for the first time.

Reader is possibly also scared of spiders and DJ doesn't find this out until later because the reader was able to quash that fear enough to get to know the obviously sapient spider-creature who saved them.

I haven't decided how they communicate. DJ probably understands human speech (for reasons I'll bullshit later) and Y/N probably learns a mix of spider noises and gestures to understand what DJ's telling them. Also weaving stuff into his web but that takes awhile so isn't really suitable for back and forth conversations, but might be how DJ explains to them what he is and where he comes from? (Also things I have not fully decided.)

Also undecided--why DJ has a tophat. The earmuffs are due to sensitive hearing. Possibly mostly triggered by the reader's voice, sadly. Even when reader speaks quietly it can get overwhelming for DJ after awhile, so earmuffs. But! DJ enjoys their humming. He likes laying on their chest or back while they hum, both hearing the quiet noise and feeling the vibrations of it. He finds it soothing. =w=

Also I think it would be funny to make some kind of joke about spider dudes liking women much larger than them (cuz spider) but I wouldn't know how to do that while still keeping the reader gender-neutral. I'm sure there's a way but I'm not thinking too deeply on that for now because I proooobably won't write this for awhile if at all?

[deluweil]

I have burning Buck and Eddie questions,

I mean, I've come to terms with the bad storytelling, the repeated patterns and unfinished, at least in a satisfying way, thoughts displayed on the screen for the entire characters. (Hen's medical adventure, the friction that was between Buck and Chimney, Athena's dad, Bobby and Athena's honey moon (you can't tell me that that frame out of nowhere in the end of the episode said anything, it looked like it slipped in accidentally in editing.) and so many other things that will take me at least two posts to cover.)

But back to my Buck and Eddie questions,

Why?

Why have that couch flirting convo in the beginning of the season?

Why this entire domestic vibe? The fully baked lasagna after three tries? - It was perfect and it was ready and it smelled great.

In parallel to Marina from Station 19, when Maya (this very season) while in therapy, brought Carina a lasagna that gave her food poisoning. Because she was in a hurry when she baked it, that she brought it to Carina before it was ready.

Which, in correct writing world, means Carina and Maya are at a stage they're are not ready to get back together, they need a little more baking (Maya, more time in therapy, and Carina to trust her again) before they are fully baked - ready to get back together.

Buck's lasagna was perfectly cooked! And he served it to Eddie and Christopher.

Is that to say that the lightning strike spoiled Buck? (who apparently is the lasagna in this analogy somehow) and suddenly he's not ready anymore? Maybe he needs one more try before getting with Eddie? but that's beyond three tries - Abby, Ali, Taylor. Death girl makes four, so wth?

Is Marisol representing third try? Shannon, Ana, Marisol. I that what we're waiting for?

Because Eddie seemed ready, after the hospital, after roaming the halls like a ghost until Buck returned to him. - And in full, because they drew so close together after that, to the point that Eddie and Christopher spent their extra time with Buck, in his loft, on the wooden chairs at that wooden table, and none of it seems comfortable, and there's no couch, but Buck was home.

They were comfortable and happy with him.

And he is comfortable with them, happy to have them there.

He couldn't find the peace and quiet and space to heal in his own apartment, it kept getting intruded (I'll circle back to that later) so he found his refuge at Eddie's, he was asleep the second he rested on Eddie's couch, Eddie is home, Eddie is safe.

And the writers made it a glaring point that IT IS Eddie, because Christopher isn't part of the scene, so it's not the second parent here, it's Eddie's partner, his not yet but should be spouse.

In 6x13, we have the glaring parallel between Denny's bio father with Hen and Karen finding out, to Buck being entrusted with Christopher without needing Eddie there to supervise. (going all the way to S3 btw.)

What was that??

Now if it was the only interaction for that episode, I'd chalk that up to fathers and father figures and leave it at that.

But it wasn't - It was preceded by a freakishly domestic scene with all three of them and that POKER DATE - Because it was a date and you can't tell me otherwise.

Both unbelievably dressed up, Eddie looking at Buck like he's his entire world, like he's the only one in that room!

And he timed the exact time down to the second (like Chimney timed the time it would take help to arrive if Maddie gave birth at home and something went wrong) that Buck was dead. - The exact time Buck left Eddie, broken hearted, not breathing, looking like someone ripped his heart out and wheeled it away with Buck.

And Buck looked just as smitten in that poker game, he was having a good time, and seemed completely in awe of this new piece of information about Eddie.

He also glances back a bit in Eddie's direction when he says the exact time Buck was dead, if they were alone, would Buck have asked him or tell him like Maddie told Chimney? "You timed it." - Because that was the essence of that look.

What was the point of that episode??? - It cemented the Buckley-Diaz family so hard, that it was so hard to ignore.

But Eddie says in that episode, when the three were sitting together and he went full-Buck on the research of the side effects of lightning strikes victims. - He says that there was a guy who was struck by lightning and "the lights would turn on and off every time he walked into a room."

Which is the definition of how Eddie sees Buck, especially now after he died and came back and let them drew him closer to the Diaz boys.

But Eddie also said "But it didn't last." - "Only lasted a few weeks."

A few weeks, until Buck met Natalia - who "sees" him.

In between, we have Pepa trying to set Eddie up, but (aside from the fact that Buck's reaction was to ghost her) he wanted to let Venessa down easy, but she beat him to it.

When he says "You don't want to break abuela's heart."

She answers, "Or mine. You understand."

And he did, he does understand. And he was content to move on from there, thinking he wasn't alone, until the funeral scene and then the cemetery where Buck snuffs completely that light he brought with him and tells Eddie that Natalia "sees" him, better than anyone, better than himself.

Was that the writers way to tell us that it was pining Eddie era? that Buck is in crisis?

Because after Eddie was shot he got together pretty immediately with Taylor, after Eddie left he kissed Lucy, now he's dating Natalia after almost dying? A death doula? talk about morbid.

What was the point of that romance? If you can call it that?

In between we have wedding talks, and smores, and Christopher falling asleep on the couch while Eddie goes to get some smores in perfect imitation of Buck, and buddie sitting impossibly closer in the truck while talking about proposals and that damned camera moving to Eddie and Buck when Bobby says "It means you two were meant to be." - Like WTF?

Also, Why would we like Natalia for Buck if her reaction to learning about his life is to walk away as fast as her legs would take her??

And remember when I talked about intruding in the beginning (in connection to 6x12)? Well here we are again.

We have at first Cameron barging in (like Connor, in 6x12) and load all her problems with the other problem child in her life and then in 6x18, Buck leaves the door open for the paramedics, but Natalia barges in through the doors, and then also goes as far as asking if they shouldn't wait for the professionals, either forgetting Buck is a firefighter and is trained for it or doubting him even before they started something together, instead of asking him "have you done this before?" or "Do you know what you're doing?"

That would have gone over way better than looking for outside help inside someone else's apartment who gives you clear instructions of how you can help, it's pretty obvious that he at least half knows what he's doing.

And what the hell was it that made him ask the woman who not, say around three hours ago? came back into his life after leaving him to his mess (Ana, anyone?), to pick out a couch with him?? like wtf?

Like what was the point of it?

Now that I've covered Buck, I'm back to heartbroken Eddie, and don't tell me he wasn't on some level. That look he gave Buck at the cemetery, tells a long and painful story, the one where the bottom line is that he is not enough.

For the first time, in a really long time, Eddie is not enough to the one person who made him feel like he's everything.

Buck saved his life more than once, he SAT with him when he was going through A HARD TIME! (bathena parallels - scream with me!)

What is happening?

In complete rehearse of S4 - Eddie is going for help to everyone but Buck.

This time, it takes the shape of Bobby, on that father in-law, trip to the hardware store, where Bobby gives Eddie the right answer, but Eddie is not ready, not willing or doesn't think it will help to accept it.

Because that person that Bobby was paralleling to Athena ( in a vague way, of course) is Buck, and Eddie knows that too. - He says "So you definitely weren't looking for it." Eddie didn't look for Buck, he found him, he made Buck like him, made him his friend, his co-parent, his pretty much everything.

Because without Buck, Eddie has always floundered, looking for some anchor in the dark, whichever form it may come. - And while Ana came out of nowhere and Eddie was not yet aware of the potential of him and Buck and was stuck in the heteronormative narrative of a "Boy needs his momma" concept, he's well aware now.

Without Buck to steady him, he clings to the next person, who is "right in front" of him, and that is Marisol. It doesn't make her right for him, it just makes her there.

Now, how in the hell did they exchange numbers but talked for the first time weeks after everyone healed (except for Buck, somehow, lol), when in 6x17 Eddie was walking away, is beyond me, maybe telepathically. 🤷‍♂️ - And that "Like a date?" - that awkward first conversation is incomprehensible to me, you've talked, you've exchanged numbers, why does it feel like it's the first time?

Also that rescue in 6x18, I have a lot of medical and procedural questions about that half baked (like Maya's lasagna) scene, but what bugged me the most, was the lack of emotion.

Buck's entire family was in danger, and Buck is being entirely too cold about it? No. Buck wears his heart on his sleeve.

So where is the checking on Eddie as soon as possible, just to make sure he's breathing normally? Where's the hovering over Bobby?

Or going in the ambulance with Chimney? Or calling his sister? Why is Athena the one handling Eddie so gently, but not his best friend?

Where is the emotion? In season 1 Buck said he didn't want to be that red eyed robot, he wanted to be able to feel everything, where did that go? Has Buck resorted to working with his head instead of his heart? Is that the reverting back to Buck 1.0? Not because Buck 1.0 didn't feel anything, it's that he didn't want to get close to anyone who could leave him.

Is that what it is? Because the only real emotion Oliver gave us for that episode, was when held Buck's baby for that split second then handed him to Cameron. - There, and gone.

Now both JLH and Oliver stark are masters at making people FEEL things, tear up with them, why not here? What was the mechanics behind that emergency?

It wasn't interim captain Buck - that was Hen ("Hen that's you"), So what was that??

I have so many question, a lot of WHY, and WHAT, and WTF?? and a variety of WH questions. My mind is a confused mess, if buddie is nonexistent, explain this to me.

Go back to that gut wrenching scene in 2x08 (BUCK ACTUALLY) and make that journey with me up to those confusing 15 minutes of 6x18. - And explain this to me in a way that doesn't sound like stubborn blindness among other things, how buddie is only in our heads?!

If you've managed to get this far, thank you.

Sorry if I insulted someone but seriously this is driving me crazy.

Sending comforting hugs to this beautiful and nutty fandom 🤗❤

[hongtiddiez]

my stand in ep 2 thoughts, feelings, etc.

alright i wanted to write this up nicely but it took me... two hours to get through the episode bc i kept stopping to write notes, so i'll do my best i guess.

weird thing about me is when i watch shows and write notes for these posts i always write the notes on napkins? i have like 5 different notebooks in arms reach at all times but i really like scribbling on a napkin for the true unhinged effect.

anyway blah blah reminder i'm just a silly dude on the internet, idk shit about dick, i just like to say shit, don't take me too seriously.

also please DO NOT leave novel spoilers in my reblogs, tags, or replies without some kind of warning label. please? it seems to happen with every show i write meta for and i LOVE that people get hyped but there's no way for me to avoid it when it's in my notifications like that.

some before the actual episode stuff; after learning last week that some of the kinnporsche people worked on this it really becomes apparent, especially in the style of the intro.

the music choices also seem a bit reminiscent of kinnporsche (and a little bit of not me) which i really enjoy. it feels kind of familiar and comforting.

immediately i loved how soft this episode started, the slight stubble on each of them, the way joe speaks so softly as if afraid to shatter their little bubble of peace, etc. i also love that the show doesn't skirt around the topic of sex and the fact that sometimes sex is awkward and clumsy, especially with a new partner and doubly so when it's your first queer partner.

and then the peace was shattered with ming kissing his back yet again. ouchies.

"will tong be at the set?" he's just not even trying to hide it. he basically said 'yeah ur great and all but tong????' but DAMN if poom isn't the absolute king of microexpressions.

at this point i can't really tell if tong is being a spoiled prince (derogatory) or if he's tired of acting in general? judgement withheld until a later date.

and then we jump into this actress being a parallel to ming and OOF OUCHIES MY ORGANS. she's a fan of tong but has to "settle" for joe - just like ming. and yet joe takes the time to be kind, to soothe her worries and put her at ease, because he has a heart of absolute gold. "it's her first movie but she was left to drown by the male lead." it's ming's first love and he has been left to drown in it.

mek's acting is really endearing. this is my first exposure to him (ive seen some of his social media and really like what he stands for as a person) and i'm instantly drawn to his performance. he also pulls off a great balance of adorable/sexy.

OOH THE SHOW SAID BISEXUAL OUT LOUD. A WIN FOR THE BI'S WE LOVE TO SEE IT.

i personally find ming's jealously hilarious. what a little caricature of toxicity.

anyway, it seems to me that if ming could get over his feelings and enjoy what he has in front of him he could be part of and enjoy a very sweet family, as it does seem tong IS giving him love, just not the exact flavor he craves.

the cut to joe's training made me laugh. little oat lore dump but my bio dad was actually a stunt man for movies (which is another part of why i was so excited for this show) and i can promise you nothing like this was part of it. what do i know, though, maybe things have changed since the early 2000s lol.

(no, they're probably not any movies you know, aside from maybe wild wild west [1999]. he mostly did westerns, historical docudramas, and historical fiction.)

ANYWAY AGAIN. with this little glimpse into ming's home life we get to see that he's very accustomed to doing what he wants and getting what he wants, which makes a lot of sense when applied to his almost obsessive behavior regarding tong - and now joe. i did absolutely LOVE linin and her sassy independence (minus the 'i can buy anything i need'.)

but... girl... did you just spray perfume in your mouth?

your actions are strange and unsettling. i like that in a woman.

ugh getting into ming venting his frustrations on joe's body. listen. liiiisten. while toxic without prior discussion... i'm into it. it may or may not be one of my favorite tropes in fanfic. toxic and unhealthy as fuck and i'm here for it.

AND THEN DAMN POOM THOSE NOISES. ACTING FOR YOUR LIFE BBY -- and the SNEEZE AT ORGASM LMAAAO oh i hope that's a running bit for some comedic relief.

because we then make a SHARP pivot into "then stop me" and there's so much potential for pain and self loathing there, for joe to think "i can't blame ming, i didn't stop any of it." i'm sat.

a little side bar, but i'm enjoying the fact that while there is discussion of topping and bottoming as a narrative device there really aren't any stereotypes here. i think on a surface level people would think "oh joe is the top" (pit babe style) and the show said no actually he isn't. love that for us.

"you can even move in haha jk" but the thing is, not jk, because joe would do that for ming - for anyone - bc that's the type of person he is.

[i had to stop and have a lil snack here]

hold up is this wut out drinking with them? OH SHIT IT IS. OKAY. it didn't give us much but at least it's a little connection to him finally. we knew joe knew him from his first life, just didn't really know how.

"i missed you" and when was the last time someone missed joe? not who he's replacing or the space he's filling, but HIM?

love ming's goofy ass locking the door and going inside just so he can make a dramatic ass appearance like he's 'the other woman' or some shit LMAO.

"what's in you to make me jealous?" quite possibly the worst dialogue tree choice ming could've picked.

[joe's emotional well being -45]

[everyone hated that]

"don't be so full of yourself" something joe has never been a day in his life. "you're just a stand-in." he knows. it's not something he ever forgets.

but after all that toxicity we have ming back home, seeking out joe's food for comfort, and we finally get to see him interact with his sister. i LOVE that she knows the importance of being a little silly as a treat, one of my biggest life mottos. we also get to see more of how ming is surrounded by love that he misses out on bc of his own wallowing and self sabotage.

oh, the homoeroticism of sparring with your bestie.

[everyone liked that]

oop- joe is wearing the shirt ming borrowed while sol is wearing a shirt with the word 'fantasy.' i'm good, i'm fine, gwenchana, gwenchana.

ough. sol with too many eyes on him and none of them sincere and joe with nothing but sincerity to offer but remains invisible. oof ouch.

enter ming with more religious imagery to match last week's cross scene. something something the sin of greed? confessing your sins? coveting - idk man, i don't have any religious trauma, my family let me just do my own thing.

but with ming knowing joe's true feeling every toxic thing he does is going to be 1000x more painful and i'm here for it. bring it you fucked up little guy.

"we can't mess with each other's privacy" don't mess with MY privacy. "you can't mess around with anyone else" emphasis on YOU, not we.

and then it's driven home what a romantic joe is, both with his workout heartbreak poetry and this little lady and the tramp noodle moment. this man, again much like pit babe, wants to be domesticated so bad.

and i know we all have hated on ming, that's the point, he's been a caricature of a toxic relationship spelled out in neon letters --

but when was the last time ming laughed with someone like this?

ok im exhausted, i'm falling into bed to read fanfic, but i'm absolutely in love with everything this is doing so far. i haven't written anything as in depth as this since last twilight (pre-betrayal) so it's really nice to feel insane again.

[krakenartificer]

Notes on therapist selection

(From someone who is getting a good grade in Having a Therapist, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve)

Some friends were discussing their work to find a therapist today, and I noticed some unspoken assumptions that can sometimes get in the way of finding someone who's a good fit for your recovery needs, especially around deciding what specializations to look for when no one covers the full range of your crazy. So a list of things to think about that -- as always -- may or may not be useful to anyone except me.

1) On overlapping specializations Anyone who specializes in ADHD or Autism will also have experience dealing with trauma, because every school system I've ever encountered has been traumatizing for NDs. They may or may not call it trauma in their own minds, but they know how to handle "a bad thing happened in my past and it's fucking up my present" problems.

Likewise, everyone who specializes in trauma has experience with anxiety. PTSD was, until 2013, classified as an anxiety disorder. DSM-V puts it in its own category for presumably good reasons, but everyone with PTSD has anxiety (or close enough that you can't specialize in trauma without knowing how to deal with anxiety).

That said ... 2) On picking your therapist based on vibes

Vibes are really more important than specialization. Specialization is important if, like, you have one (1) specific problem and you are looking for a solution for that problem. Like, if your life is fine except that you have ADHD and the executive dysfunction is causing you to be unable to write English essays, then you definitely want an ADHD specialist. But if your opening session is going to be

Therapist: So what brings you in? Me: Well! -straightens lapels- -pulls out easel- -pulls out prepared presentation notes- I have a list

Or

Therapist: So what brings you in? What changes are you looking to make? Me: This -gestures- Therapist: You just pointed to all of you Me: Yes.

then any generic psychologist is as good as any other. You got shit in your head and you gotta detangle it and it's all snarled together anyway, so it's a lot more important that you find someone who you're willing to be working with for years.

3) On finding "the one"

Odds are really really good that you're gonna have more than one therapist in your recovery arc. I did 2 years with one who specialized in psychological impacts on physical health, and it did so. much. for me, and I don't regret it for a moment, but also ... I reached a point where that wasn't the specialization I needed anymore, and also the shit in my head I needed to deal with was the kind of shit that (for trauma reasons) I couldn't talk about to someone in that therapist's demographic. So I left that practice, and found my current therapist.

My current therapist is great, and I'm really glad I'm working with him, but it's entirely possible that he's not going to be able to sort out this entire mess. We may reach a point where his specialties of relationships and adhd are not my bottlenecks any more, and he doesn't really have the tools he needs to handle what my next bottleneck is, and I'll go find someone else who can meet my needs at that time. This is normal and expected, and it's entirely fine to plan on it by (for example) deciding that you want a specialist in this thing right now, and you'll go find a specialist in this other thing later.

4) On Shopping

It's entirely reasonable to have more than one therapist this week. You are in no way expected or required to pick a single therapist based off of some profile pictures, a bio on the website, and a phone call, and then you're stuck with them forever. It is normal and understood that you will set up appointments with half a dozen therapists, and then pick two (or three) to do another session with, before settling into a single choice. Or don't! If you like two therapists for different reasons, and you'd rather work with them simultaneously instead of serially, then feel free to schedule with twice as many therapists, half as often. This ain't a wedding; you don't have to restrict yourself to only one.

Narrow down your choices as quickly as you want to based on your anxiety about not having a decision, based on your executive dysfunction and inability to track multiple things, based on how you feel about each one ... but don't narrow them down to one just because you think that's "the rules", somehow.

5) On Being Abrasive

If you know, upfront, what some of your dealbreakers are, just straight-up say that as you're scheduling the appointment or in the first session. My last therapist became a problem for me because she expressed empathy in a way that was too similar to the way my abuser used weaponized politeness to deny me boundaries; I couldn't talk to her about my violations because her demeanor was too similar to the person who violated me. So when I first talked to my current therapist, I told him, "I need someone who, if they think I'm full of shit, will say 'I think you're full of shit.'" He replied "One of my other clients calls me 'Deadpool'." I said, "Perfect. Let's give it a shot."

So if you really care that someone will let you schedule appointments online, or will never touch your wrist, or will treat your "disorder" as a neurodivergence to be accommodated rather than a problem to be solved, then say so. The sooner you both know that, the better: if you have particular needs, they need to know that now; and if they're not willing to meet your needs, YOU need to know that now.

(You will not, of course, always know your dealbreakers upfront. When I picked my first therapist, my primary problem was hip pain, and I didn't know it was PTSD. It was through her help that I realized that (a) I had trauma and (b) she was way too like my abuser for me to treat PTSD with her. This was not a failure. This was a massive success, because learning that was what allowed me to find someone who could help me (see point #3). It's fine if you don't know, right now, what you need -- that's part of why vibes are so important (see point #2). But whatever information you can give them, it is helpful to do so, and (despite what people in your past have implied) it is not rude, it is beneficial and desired.

6 - not advice, just a reminder

You are beautiful and brave and strong and I am so proud of you for fighting through all the shit -- both internal and external -- to get yourself help. No one ever talks about how hard it is to get to the point where you schedule that first meeting with that first therapist, and I want you to know that it is painful, it is challenging, and you're not lazy or stupid or whatever other lie your brain is telling you.

[drvnkd4zed]

Asking them to be your fake boyfriend

heeseung; he's gonna be the biggest tease among all of them, unique torture. You might start asking yourself why he's so good at playing the boyfriend part, and that's probably because he has a crush on you already. The biggest issue here for you is that he'd probably go around with you asking for kisses and hugs in front if your family and friends, making you live the most awkward moment of your life.

jay; it'd take some time for him to actually agree and be your fake boyfriend. He'd state that he "doesn't want to get involved in your shit" but then he'll finally accept it. Even though it is a fake relationship, Jay will still treat you like a princess. He'd be caring and sweet with you, playing the perfect boyfriend card. If there's a time you two have to kiss, he'd do confidently even if you might hesitate a little.

jake; he's always been so flirty with you that people thought you two were dating already. He won't think twice before accepting your request, I think he'd also be happy to experience having you as his girlfriend. Jake would take you to his family's house so he can introduce you to them. He's going to be sweet and caring, I'm 100% sure you'll fall in love with him in a span of twelve hours.

sunghoon; he's refusing to be your boyfriend at first, he would tell you stuff like:"I won't do it, I have much better stuff to do". Sad, you would just give up, there's no way Sunghoon will accept the first time. You already know he'll need some time to decide. "So I have nothing better to do, I'll be your fake boyfriend, but please don't fall for me and you owe me a favor". Don't misunderstand, he'll be the happiest boy in this planet. He'll log into his secret old Twitter account and write "taken" on his bio.

sunoo; "I'm in but you gotta treat me some steak later", of course he'll do it, but not for free. It might be risky to be in a relationship (if a fake one) with Sunoo, he wouldn't be able to look at you keeping a straight face. I'm sure he'll be laughing the whole time, and whenever you two have to do "couple things" in public, his face would just turn red.

jungwon; At first he'll tell you that you shouldn't do these things, that this is wrong, but he'll eventually do it. he'd tease you a lot and in every way. You will see him testing your patience the whole time, asking weird questions and pinching your cheeks out of nowhere. Even if the relationship is fake, he'd start to have real feelings for you and might end up brag about you to his friends.

niki; He's going to play the part of your fake boyfriend, but you'll regret it in few seconds. Niki will do whatever it will take to embarrass you (in a cure and funny way), I'm sure he'd take this seriously and make it an excuse to torture you. Niki's the type of (fake) boyfriend that will threaten you like "If you don't let me do your hair and make up, I'll break up with you".

[roseapov]

Streamer

Idia Shroud x GN!Reader

Tw: stalking, invading privacy, being delusional, mentions of obsession, collarbones fetish

Povtober 2023, Day 13 [Masterlist]

You two met just by chance, getting paired up against each other, in a game you decided to play, as a game streamer.

You used a typical supporting character, with not much attacking capabilities, meant to be power and hp boost to your teammates, but even then you were making kill after a kill.

Idia couldn't believe it, you managed to kill him, him of all people! with a support character no less.

Someone actually managed to surprise him in a game? Are you serious? That can't be happening. That made him so enraged, focusing all his attention on you, to take his revenge.

After he and his team unexpectedly lose, he starts to look through your account, and sees in your bio your streamer name with a link, such a normie thing to do.

He starts to stalk through your social media, and with a pain in his heart admits, that his defeat was recorded on your actual live, it's nothing he can't take down anyway.

Hm? You're streaming with a camera? Oh, how bold of you, but don't worry, he won't stop hacking your phone camera and microphone even after you beg for it, falling into paranoia.

It's your unlucky day, he took an interest in you, slowly treating you as a character from his beloved games. Your merch on the shelf, his phone littered with your photos and edits, a special spying program made by him personally, to see your activity on your devices.

Soon you're the only one he can think about, you, your voice, your hair, your face and your.. collarbones. Such an exciting sight for this shutted in otaku.

If you're counting for a high donates from your newest follower, Gloomurai, then you hit the jackpot, literally.

Tons of money flowing into your bank account, each one of the descriptions more unnerving than the other, but hey at least you got the money. Yeah, no, you're terrified.

You started to wear blouses for your streams, afraid of more uneasy commenters on your donations, contemplating quitting your side job for good. Your sanity was worth more than some money.

Yet you still felt endangered, so to ease your worries you bought cameras and installed them inside and outside of your home, wrong move.

He, of course easily hacked into it, feeling delighted that you decided to do so, the fact that you liked him enough to make it easier for him to observe you, how thoughtful of you, he's so delusional.

If you like him this much, then he mustn't deny you his presence any longer, he may be afraid of humans, but you're an exception.

When he heard you talk with your friends about quitting, all hell broke loose. The next thing you know, you're in Shroud manor, not allowed to leave.

Yes, the thought of you leaving the media was enough to make him snap and be really daring, doing things he normally would've never done, the effect you have on him is insane. After all he loved your streams very, very much.

Ortho is super supportive of this as a cute sibling he is, after all his older brother finally took an interest in someone real!

You have no idea how relieving it was for him, maybe his brother won't have to be alone? Of course not, you two live together already, should he plan your future with Idia already? Maybe you can date, and later on marry his brother! He's so happy!

Don't you dare disappoint him.

Ugh, after my sickness I lost my enthusiasm and motivation to write even tho I had a lot of ideas😭(it's better since I added Roxana, but still). It's not fair, even more so since I am already way in the back of my Povtober writing challenge.😭😭 Not sure of how this one came out tho, I'm writing this at 3 am💀 I'm not exactly proud of this, I'll probably rewrite it in the distant future (he's so hard to write smh)

~roseapov

[marzipanandminutiae]

First off, your blog has increased my sympathy for Lucille's character, so congratulations, I hope you're proud. Though, to be fair, I was never in the EvilTM camp, more of the Batshit Crazy Because Of Massive Trauma viewpoint, which, you know, she was.

Anyways, my actual reason for the ask is about Eunice. I've never read any of the extra source material so I don't know if this is explained somewhere. But basically why Eunice McMichael?

The Sharpes presumably met the McMichaels while they were visiting Alan in London (perhaps his graduation?). There's no father in the picture, but otherwise, she doesn't seem to fulfill any of their criteria. She has family and is highly social (lots of people to notice and care if she went missing/died), she's young and desirable to have as a wife (there must've been some competition for her back home at least), she's not older or widowed (i.e. "undesirable"), and while she's clearly rich, she's not the sole inheritor of her family's estate (they'd be working solely with her dowry, a much lower figure).

It's heavily implied (/stated outright?) that Lucille is the one who chooses Thomas's brides. There's no logical reason to choose Eunice. But following with your "sapphic" take on Lucille, I think she just has a thing for Eunice.

A lot of words just to say that but what are your thoughts?

Welcome to the Lucille Appreciators Club! Meetings are Fridays at 7:30. I'll bring snacks.

So, this is such an interesting question. The bios don't shed much light but they do provide some on how the Bride Selection Process works

Namely, that it's far from an exact science.

Per the bios, Bluebearding has never been Plan A. Plan A is finding investors for the goo-mining business. Marriage + Murder is the fallback option- that they keep having to fall back on. They've never actually chosen a bride on purpose before Enola, exactly- Margaret developed a passion for Thomas on her own; Pamela's dying father begged Thomas to marry his disabled daughter so she'd be cared for. Enola seems to have been the first one who didn't just fall into their laps, so to speak

And Thomas picked her.

So no, it's not always Lucille's choice- she encouraged him to go along with Mr. Upton's notion and propose to Pamela, the first time, but how much she was involved with the inception of the other marriages is up for debate. Which makes me think Thomas picked Eunice- I can't imagine such a fluttery little social climber being other than annoying to Lucille.

Why EITHER of them thought she was a good idea when she had so many friends and family to miss her...well, the Sharpes aren't very good at crime, frankly. Enola still has relatives writing to her five years later, so I suspect they would have come looking for her eventually. The snare seems to have been tightening around Thomas and Lucille for a while now, without them knowing it.

I do imagine that Edith's superior "qualifications" made a key lynchpin of Thomas' argument to convince Lucille to switch targets, though. And an interesting Word of Actor tidbit: Jessica Chastain thinks Lucille's desire to protect Edith by leaving her alone, at first, was genuine. Because she loves delicate, beautiful things, and saw Edith that way.