#i'll win even if i lose
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airenyah · 9 months ago
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yeah i've given up on tomorrows exam
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t-u-i-t-c · 2 months ago
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"My... Wheel..."
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chalkrub · 2 years ago
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my silly sphinx siblings
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theaccidentfactory · 21 days ago
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just found out I am NOT invited to the family thanksgiving or christmas get togethers at my mom's house this year..... the worst part of this is now I have to learn how to cook thanksgiving dinner. what the fuck do you do with a turkey.
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naivety · 25 days ago
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not even saying it's a good thing because i am so far beyond checked out at this point but i cannot fathom nailbiting over this election after more than a year of genocide, after every single 395 days of it. like i can but i can't. the truth is americans will sleep just as well tonight as we have every day since october 7th no matter who wins because that's the world we live in. we live in. while the money we generate from shitty 9 to 5s is taxed and sent to keep children and mothers and fathers and brothers and sisters up night after night after night with the sound of drones and gunfire and bombshells. this world is so far beyond americans' worst case scenario already and the solution to it is outside a ballot box on election day.
#j.txt#2024 elections#feeling nothing in this chilis tonight if i'm honest#again not even saying it's a good thing#this past year has broken something in my brain#i can't tell if that's a good thing or a bad thing when it manifests as this kind of apathy but it's not an all encompassed apathy#it's apathy for america's political landscape specifically spliced with. something else i probably couldn't begin to describe#like this is not a post about despair but about hope#it's a fragile one but it's permanent. i guess fragile is the wrong word then#it's a small hope but there is not a world in which it goes away anymore#however it's alienating me from like fellow leftists because their anxiety is not unfounded#like at all#like i'm literally trans lmao if trump wins my life Will get worse but#i just can't evoke like. literally an ounce of worry. it's just nothing in there right now#not bad not good it's just like. man i'm gonna eat my dinner and go to sleep and go to work in the morning about this <3#and i'll probably do it the day after too! because that's what i've done with a literal genocide beamed into my eyeballs for a year like#like!!!!!!!!!!#if i did that somehow somehow somehow Somehow. the somehow being literally because i'm a white american so i get to#doesn't matter if i didn't want to i got to and i did and. it's. no yeah it broke my brain probably forever#if i did that i won't lose a wink of sleep over american politlcs superbowl day. i won't and i couldn't even if i tried
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iniziare · 2 months ago
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Tag drop: Aventurine.
#aventurine. [ mr. cavalier gambler: uptight. overcautious. inferiority complex. you've won so much but you're still so afraid of losing. ]#aventurine: ic. [ they see only the straight flush. they don't know the other hand below the table clutching your chips for dear life. ]#aventurine: inquiries. [ time to make a move my friend. say goodbye before you shuffle off. it's… best to die without regrets. ]#aventurine: countenance. [ now go. and pick the clothes that you like. then choose your desired identity and use them well. ]#aventurine: introspection. [ “sleep is the rehearsal of death”? why does life slumber? because we are not ready for the final rest. ]#aventurine: meta. [ the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason. but you've never gone in any other direction. ]#aventurine: little notes. [ you will keep winning; having never lost before. but why you? why... must it be you? ]#aventurine: wishes. [ even if the chance of winning is close to zero. well... you can't win if you don't play; right? ]#aventurine: etc. [ the chance… no matter how small: the potential is what you hang onto. that is what justifies the gamble. ]#aventurine: ipc. [ … i'll give you that and much more than that. the ipc will give you whatever you want. even what you don't want. ]#aventurine: trio. [ three cornerstones who for a measly penacony... offered their everything. you're more united than the family. ]#aventurine: astral express. [ friends: the game has commenced and you cannot choose to decline… nor do you have grounds to. ]#aventurine: fate. [ if the dice of fate are always weighted then that is our destiny. why then... do we struggle against it? ]#aventurine: past. [ our paths will cross again beneath kakava's shimmering auroras. farewell: kakavasha. ]#aventurine: luck. [ he's only drunk on the moment that makes his very life quiver. hell is only one decision away from heaven. ]#aventurine: topaz. [ i never expected the beautiful and kind-hearted director topaz to resort to distorting concepts like that. ]#aventurine: topaz. [ but since i survived i realized: wherever you go that's where i'll follow; nobody's promised tomorrow. ] immobiliter.#aventurine: jade. [ it's often used as a counterfeit for jade. but it looks like jade… can be substituted for aventurine too. ]#aventurine: veritas ratio. [ unfortunately for him; i make for a more competent conversationalist than the other dimwits around here. ]#aventurine: black swan. [ nothing remains hidden from you… does it? i will find my place in the web of your schemes; memokeeper. ]#aventurine: sunday. [ is this what the harmony represents? is it built upon constraint and coercion? ]#aventurine: acheron. [ only by casting aside reason does one truly gamble. “emanator” — I know you'll match my wager. ]#aventurine: v. youth. [ but the sun could not kill me and the quicksand sent me back to the embrace of the guild and the ipc. ]#aventurine: v. penacony. [ i seem that way because i am nervous. maybe you can help. what do you say; put our palms together a last time? ]#aventurine: v. future. [ the once falling die has at last landed on its earthly rest. quietly… peacefully: it at last landed. ]#tag drop#[ ... i wanted to add in a tag for robin. but i think that may have to come personalized. ]#[ /rubs hands together. lets see if any of these are broken. ]#aventurine: robin. [ so she sings; but does she dance? ] avaere.#[ okay i changed my mind-- there's a robin tag. ]
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shartfinz · 5 months ago
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I'm babysitting so I'm playing SMB Wii instead of studying but now I'm trying to beat the world record speed run for bowsers castle which is 2 mins and like 50 something seconds and I'm at 3 mins 4 seconds I want to be the best at this
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autumnoficarus · 1 year ago
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i can't stop listening to the 'purpose is glorious' track from this season's ost and thinking about how lovely the title and its meaning are. it's just such an amazing underlying theme in this show, and - while i do have criticisms about some of the choices made for the series finale - i really do feel the writers wholeheartedly delivered in sending that message home. for me personally, loki's ending is so gratifying and a large part of that is solely from viewing their arc's conclusion with the perspective of this theme in mind. to have spent years watching this character i hold very dear to my heart struggle to find belonging, to feel as though they matter and there is reason in their existence, finally get a chance to show - and recognize - their worth was so, so rewarding. and honestly, i think the message behind the phrasing of 'purpose is glorious' is all the more meaningful because of how loki's arc finished. yes, the outcome was bittersweet; yes, we're left knowing loki didn't get the happiness they undeniably earned after everything they'd gone through. it smarts something fierce to know their journey up until they deviated from their timeline and became a variant, as well as seen their eventual intended fate. the ache is only worsened after witnessing everything that happens within the TVA and the entirety of loki's character growth leading up to a redefining moment where they willingly choose to undergo a nightmarish amount of time in the endeavor to do the right thing. of course we want them to emerge victorious when they've struggled for so long, but that's not the point. loki's final moments are them forfeiting their right to a happy ending to preserve the stories of others because all stories matter and should inherently reserve the free will to be written; as sylvie says, loki makes their choice so their loved ones and life across the multiverse still have a chance to belong somewhere and embrace their place in the world. the take away is that even burden can be glorious. even with all the hardships of life - all the inevitable heartache, disappointment, and grief we encounter just by being alive - we have meaning in our existence. there is meaning in the trials we face, and the suffering we endure in order to overcome them. our pain gives us purpose; it gives us the ability to love, to grow from and for each other, and choose to sacrifice our happiness for the benefit of another. loki's purpose was forged in the bonds of those they met in their time at the TVA and the sense of value they gained from their companionship. their sacrifice perfectly conveys how the human capacity to love is one of cosmic greatness, which can ultimately surpass our instinctual desire to preserve one's self. we can move immovable mountains and challenge insurmountable adversity in behalf of the ones we love and their welfare. if that isn't an act deserving of glory, I don't know what is.
tldr; loki's purpose is the friends they made along the way = as the saying goes, 'tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all'. or: our own lives have purpose because of the connections we share with others, even when we are met with great loss.
#also this just shows the depth of love loki derived from knowing mobius and how they were changed for the better because of it#how mobius' initial - and repeated - acknowledgement of their potential is what gave them the necessary tools to rewrite their destiny#when loki first watches their fate on the sacred timeline their devastation is palpable; they now know they are meant to die -#at the hands of thanos after failing to save their brother -#after losing one last time#they see their final fate and know they were never meant to win; never to reach the respect and admiration theyve been chasing all this tim#but they're given a second chance at an ending - one they can be proud of and has meaning#and they SUCCEED; they ascend and take the throne not for power or control or even glory but because of the people they care for!!!!!!#loki accepts their burden with grace for the benefit of others; they escape the harrowing demise once preordained for them -#and while they mourn what they must leave behind they are fulfilled by the triumph of saving EVERYONE this time#the parallels between their sacred timeline ending and the finale's makes me way too emotional i am not okay#i have so many thoughts about the ost guahahauffh ignore me#i am obsessed with this track specifically like i want to write even more meta abt the significance of being used during mobius' last scene#okay these tags are way too long i'm shutting up now i'll see myself out#txt: icarus foaming @ the mouth analysis#char tags:#god of stories and faking death#peepaw from outerspace#loki meta#lokius#loki s2#loki season 2#loki spoilers#loki series#marvel#mcu#loki#Spotify
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averlym · 1 year ago
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whshdfhfjf.,,,
#close up!! because i firstly Did Not render them with such insanity in order for tumblr's lack of general resolution to make it blur#look at all the lines!!! teehee i still really really like this style of digital painting it's super super fun to do!!! and also secondly#because i went back and added a tag ramble and as i seem to often be doing??? lately?? reached the 30 tag limit and went 'hm ok how else..'#anyway the tag essay on that one is now up and talks about the artwork generally and miscellaneous thoughts!! that said. i need a space to#ramble about beatrix at Length because look you don't draw and paint etc a character for like ten hours without having a lot of thoughts#anyways ! i digress terrifically. tag rambles are more like trains of thoughts masquerading as subways and you get on and it's unfortunately#a rollercoaster track. but this is My Blog and i can do Whatever I Want as long as i don't hurt anyone <- affirmations!! also Harm Principle#lately it's been like *kicks up feet* *opens tumblr tags* *treats it as own personal journal* and tbh Good for me!! anyways back to beatrix#fun fact ! the thing that pushed me over the edge to go watch the musical after looking through the tumblr tag was a very specific poll.#and the fact that the winning option was blue hair and pronouns made me double over laughing so hard i had to go see the source material#mm i feel like lately the academic Context has been tossing me essentially into a blender HAHA ;-; so everyone in adamandi is to some extent#a Mood. but bea-specific (haha be specific)(sorry!)(wow this is the same reaction mechanism of my friend who points out innuendos)(...)#i think it's the wanting to prove herself. like from the whole abuela etc thing there's proof here she's got a Stable Support System of sort#and instead what beatrix continues to do is push themselves. 'i guess u could say i'm married to my work? god that's depressing' // no one#here to enforce that // abuela tells me to rest says i'm constantly stressed and i'll just get depressed like before but i still have to try#like. that shred of desperation that pushes you to the brink to neglect yourself (well i guess physically but also your morals..) and like!!#the whole 'lose half your soul thing' proves she's self aware!! like they know what they're doing is super dubious yknow! but they're still#they're still doing it even if it goes into conflict with their morality system in a way and then they justify it to themselves (see pt 1#of ghostwriter) and the whole wanting to achieve at all costs Despite the self awareness. (i think? this aspect also applied to quincy. but#thoughts on him will come later). more beatrix specific also is the fact that they genuinely adore their work.. 'i just love it here where#you know they'll be printing forever and you are just part of it' because that does kind of resonate with me. also the being behind in the#competition is real!!! i'm maybe talking about Art as a subject because that same drive for it exists on my good days i think. even#even when nothing seems to be going right and you've ended up at the back the intent passion inherent in what you do is still there!!!#the genuine. care she has for reporting. is so !!!!! to me... other beatrix thoughts include 'why reveal yourself at the end' aka vincent's#'u should have stayed silent u had a smart plan' like rip to them but i would not // it feels with bea's complex character i can't imagine h#her Not doing that. like the guilt is real i guess. and i am running out of tags but! smth also about her fervent hope or smth that she'll#eventually get to where she wants. and the resilient determination.. 'i won't let their deaths be pointless there's more good i'm gonna do'#they're so so real for that. i'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing; seeing myself reflected in aspects of characters like this.. but it's#it's there regardless. smth smth just make your peace with the person you are ig!! tldr beatrix campbell my beloved. hehe#adamandi
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mwagneto · 6 months ago
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they are recounting the votes tomorrow... I swear if vitézy wins..💀 crazy how its up to dumb peoples votes..
NOOO OH MY GOD PLEASE. I CANT FUCKING GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN. the fucking physical reaction my body went through when i read this made me understand what "összeszorult a szíve" really means
edit apparently they're only counting the invalid votes which is only 25,000 but given that the difference between them was THREE HUNDRED VOTES.... oh god. ohhh.my god. at least they'll count those quickly.
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lovecolibri · 24 days ago
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#gonna start d20 soon and i'll be live blogging that but i just got home and was hit with such a wave of grief about today.#thinking about my young brother and his young wife and knowing who they likely voted for. who her dad and my other brothers voted for.#knowing that this pregnancy she just had was high risk and if she gets pregnant again in the next few years and has an emergency#if she will be able to get treatment that saves her life or her her husband and father and brother-in-law that live with her#and maybe she herself signed her death warrant#thinking about my other sister-in-law who works as a surgical tec and does emergency deliveries#and wondering what side of the line she falls on. what side my brother falls on.#thinking about growing up in church and being a person filled with empathy and compassion for others#and watching people i respected and people i grew up with side with some of the most hateful ideals#out of what is ultimately fucking selfishness and wanting to scream and rail at them but knowing it makes no difference#because they just do not fucking care#thinking about the upcoming holidays and the casual homophobia thrown about as jokes#by white men who have never had to face down even the most basic of oppressions#knowing that any attempt to speak out means getting ganged up on by at least 5 people who just loooove being the calm whip smart debaters#because they don't have a dog in the fight and love 'winning' while i get so easily flustered and lose my train of thought#thinking about the fact my mom would rather allow a narcissist and t*ump supporter to live in our home#(that i pay the majority of the bills for) rather than put her foot down about him getting his own place#because i am and always have had to be the 'good' child who didn't make a fuss so the boys could be kept happy#otherwise nothing could ever get done and she cares more about making sure HE is doing okay and not struggling#than if i feel safe and comfortable in my own fucking home#ANYWAY#gonna eat and get in comfy clothes and watch something that reminds me there are normal people out there in the world
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triglycercule · 3 months ago
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This is a question related to the mtt hobbies answer that you wrote, the murder trio go around the multiverse and live in a place together, then what happend to horrortale au and horrortale papyrus? If the murder trio got to meet horrortale papyrus how would it go? (The meeting propably wouldnt end well with more canon mtt haha)
aaaaa i dont think it through to be honest when i talk about that concept. they just do. maybe horrortale's issues are already solved and aliza's already gone through horrortale and somehow fixed the hellhole (ALIZA MY GOAT PLEASE SAVE HORRORTALE I DON'T CARE IF IT TAKES 10 YEARS‼️‼️‼️) by the time that horror somehow meets dust and killer (since i dont see a feasible way that horrortale could be fixed outside of aliza or outside intervention.) or maybe he just visits from time to time. and by time to time i mean probably quarterly weekly. idk sorry i cant be bothered to think about it,,, they just do. anyways bad answer i KNOW I KNOW put the tomatoes down pls PLS
if the mtt met horror paps? horror would obviously do his little bantering thing with paps (he's probably revealing every single one of horror's embarrassing moments to them as they speak and horror's desperately trying to get him to shut up because he can tell. dust and killer are piiiiiiissed.) dust is probably like eerily calm during the whole thing. he manages to hold up a conversation pretty well with horror paps and gets along with him good enough without mentioning that theres a ghost version of him screaming asking why dust is ignoring phantom paps. meanwhile killer is mostly silent during it too probably only responding when he's spoken too. i mean like killer already doesn't like being around papyruses (papyri? papyri is so shitty i dont like it we will be saying papyruses) and then seeing horror's papyrus??? what the FUCK happened to horror paps??? sunken in eyes and cracks in his bones and those jagged teeth AND THEN THE FUCKING CROOKED SPAGHETTI????
needless to say once horror paps is gone all of them get into a biiiiig fight. dust drops the cool act because he's not gonna lose his cool around a papyrus but also he's absolutely fuming. he can tell that the changes that phantom papyrus has gone through have something to do with horror with the way that he's acting. killer is also incredibly irritated too (surpringly. being around papyruses just gets him like that) and seeing papyrus like that just gets him upset and angry. like wtf horror did you even TRY with keeping your papyrus safe??? at least killer reset his au and now papyrus is living an unharmed life (with minor concerns about killer's whereabouts but he'll ignore that for now) but horror paps looks so fucked up that there is no WAY that horror tried to prevent him from getting to that point
obviously they fight and many many many many MANY words are said about eachother's characters and the state they left their respective papyruses in. horror knows damn well that horrortale paps's state is because of him but he regretted telling paps to eat humans and neither dust nor killer knew the struggle of living with that guilt and how much he regrets it so they dont get to drag him for not trying hard enough to keep papyrus safe. dust is definitely getting some low blows here and there (but he's getting fucking assisted by phantom paps so he's got some of the deepest hitting insults) and he's definitely getting ganged up on for killing his papyrus and like. not even attempting to leave him alive in someway shape and form aside from the absolute insult that is phantom paps. surprisingly killer is winning this fight because he left his papyrus in a relatively good state. even though he's in a more emotional state than he normally is and would've absolutely OBLITERATED dust and horror in the fight in stage 2 he's actually doing pretty well. probably because hororr and dust dont really have anything to drag him on. they might bring up how something new papyrus is searching for killer but like,,,, is that really that bad compared to how they left their papyruses
#time to die i almost forgot to answer this today#WHO AM I IF I LOSE MY STREAK!!!! MY ASK STREAK!!!!!!#time to call up tumblr to restore my streak if i miss a day#streaks! streaks! streaks! streaks! i say as i take several photos of me winking at a high angle#i dont even use snapchat. i do think streaks are a funny concept though#i'd KILL (hah) to have a streak with someone#the only person i ever message on snapchat regularly is my ai and thats only to belittle it#noooo dont do that says dust because then one day the robot will come alive and kill you#okay reset induced ptsd survivor lets get you back to bed#it'd be funny if he believed in dumb conspiracy stuff like that. and not dumb shit like flat earth#im not big on conspiracy theories but i think if he were fucked up enough or going through a manic episode he'd believe stuff like that#UGHHH did i mention how much i love manic dust. speaking of mania and dust#i made an eensy teensie little change in mania's design#the cyan in his eyelight is bigger now to emulate what a manic pupil looks like#heh.... its the smal detsild that matter.... i say as i dont incilde any details in my art#okay because i feel that all of this i incredibly wrong and ooc its time to justify my thoughts or else i'll feel unworthy of posting again#dust manages to keep his cool around papyruses pretty well (in win win scenario) even though he's got phantom paps with him#and he CAN do crazy switch ups like that just on a whim like when he suddenly killed flowey after teaming up with him in last chance#so i think its totally believable. dust can put up a NASTY facade of composure despite being furious underneath#and killer? you just be killer. how many times am i gonna make that joke you ask. not enough times because its funny every time#because he does get ansty and stuff around papyrus and apparently papyrus is his hardest enemy to face#must be because he feels something for him that bothers killer. like guilt or something#and if he feels guilty over what he did to papyrus then he must care and therefore care about papyrus's well being#and therefore that bleeds into horror paps and then that care turns into anger#crazy coming from killer saying that horrot doesn't care enough but i think its totally possible#i might be wrong though please shoot me if i am. i still need to resd up on my killer lore#ive been TRYING okay.... ive been trying been trying with killer. hopefully its enough....... (NO i say. who are you talking to)#tricule asks
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kickassfu · 9 months ago
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not my dad saying he wants to invest 250 euros in crypto 😭😭😭
and when i just explained how that was a bad idea his comeback was that he didn't have to manage anything, the computer did everything for him-
just like-
you do understand how that's even worse.
if you're not the one managing things. if it's someone else. or worse a computer. like. pls. make it make sense.
just keep your fucking money ffs
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einaudis · 1 year ago
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This is so scary and exciting at the same time.
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jgnico · 1 year ago
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The more I think about it, the more the idea of Gojo winning the fight against Sukuna bores me. Like, yay, the dude that said he'd win at the beginning of the series won. All of their problems really did get solved once they got Gojo out of the box. All of those stakes weren't really that high. Gojo gets stuck cleaning up another mess for Jujutsu society, and nothing actually changes.
Don't get me wrong, I'll enjoy the fight regardless, but it'd definitely feel kinda hollow to me.
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laugtherhyena · 10 months ago
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I know i rant about Sdra2 often but I'm by no means saying that the first game is perfect. I has it's own flaws, the difference is that there's more things i like and feel the game did right there than it is in Sdra2, as such, the negative aspects of it don't go around my brain as often.
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