#i'll still reblog my writing stuff here but it's easier to find in one place

[kkyaka]

Chapter 1: In Limbo

Limbo: Any in-between place, state or condition of neglect or oblivion which results in an unresolved status, delay, or deadlock

Summary: Meeting Aomine after seven years in the store and finding out he has a kid was definitely not what you were expecting when you were out shopping. But the last thing you expected was becoming a babysitter turned nanny looking after his kid. Word Count: 11, 483 Warnings: awkward encounters, lots of angst in this chapter, reader thinks aomine cheated on her aomine doesn't have a great relationship with his son, aomine is still way into you, reader plays beach volleyball, reader is a part time babysitter, painful trips down memory lane, reader chews aomine the fuck out, if there's anything else I missed please lmk lol A/N: Hope you enjoy this! I had a bunch of fun writing it, and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

MASTERLIST

You check off the last snack that you have on your grocery list, seeing that the next thing on the list is a couple of aisles down. You're about to move but you jump when you feel something tap at your back. You look over your shoulder, having to look down to see a kid standing behind you. He doesn't look happy, and it looks like he's on the verge of tears.

"Are you okay?" you ask, fully turning around and crouching down.

"I can't find my dad," he says quietly, and you carefully put your hand on his shoulder.

"Okay, okay. Don't worry. I'll help you," you reassure, and he takes a deep breath. "I'm pretty sure he's looking for you, so why don't we wait here to see if he comes down this aisle?" He nods and you look back and forth at either end of the aisle to see if you see a man that looks like he's looking for someone. "What's your name?" you ask, looking back at the kid.

"Taj."

"Nice to meet you, Taj," you say, introducing yourself after you respond. Since it's so early in the morning, there aren't a lot of people in the store, so you're hoping that'll make resolving this situation a lot easier. "How old are you?"

"Seven," he says, looking over the stuff that you have in your cart.

"Do you remember where you last saw your dad?" He shakes his head after he shrugs causing you to sigh a little. "Do you remember if it smelled like anything?" you try, hoping that he knows something that might help. He shakes his head again, and you don't try to ask him another question because you don't want to overwhelm him.

"It was cold," he says after the both of you are silent for a bit.

"Okay! That's good!" you respond. "What was he doing before you lost him?"

"He was on the phone, and I wanted some juice, but he wasn't listening to me. So, I wanted to try and find it myself." His lips wobble a little, and you're quick to console him.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. Let's see if he's still over there, alright?" He sniffs, nodding shortly after. "You wanna push the basket?" you try, and you smile when one pulls at the corner of his mouth. You move letting him put his hands on the handle before you put yours on the outside of his. You walk carefully to make sure that you don't step on his feet.

You guide him towards the frozen aisles even though you're pretty sure you're doing most of the pushing. You have him look down the aisles to see if he sees his father, but to your dismay, he doesn't see him. "How about we go get that juice you wanted?" you ask, rubbing over his head to get his attention. "Then we can go to the front and get some more help."

He's silent again as he nods, and you hope that it keeps him from freaking out just a little bit longer until you can find his dad. You go down the juice aisle, letting him pick out which one he wants. He instantly knows which one to get, and you let him hold onto it as you head toward the register.

You go through the self-checkout, buying him the juice before you walk over to where all the carts are kept at the front of the store. You're glad that you barely started shopping, so there isn't a lot in your cart; just the snacks you picked up right before Taj approached you.

"Hey, bud, it's gonna be okay," you tell him, crouching down again when it looks like he might cry. "I promise we'll find your dad." You look up, looking for a worker to alert about the situation.

"Taj, oh thank God!" you hear, and his face lights up in recognition as he runs out of your reach. You quickly stand, turning around to see Taj being held by his dad as he hugs him tightly.

"Thank--" You freeze when you finally see who Taj's father is, and he does the same, his words getting caught in his throat at the sight of you. He says your name in what sounds like disbelief, and you give him an awkward smile.

"Aomine," you respond, not knowing what to say. He's still holding Taj, and it's like he doesn't know what to say either, the air starting to feel stifling as it takes an uncomfortable turn.

"Um, thanks for staying with him," he eventually says, and you shake your head as you wave him off.

"It was no problem. I'm just glad you're reunited." You try to swiftly end the conversation so that you can get back to shopping and get out of here. You're about to leave when Aomine suddenly looks down at his son's hands.

"Where'd you get this from?" he asks, softly taking the juice from him, too wound up in the fact that he found him to see what he was holding.

"She bought it for me!" Taj answers cheerfully, and Aomine looks at you right as you start to move away.

You huff a little. "He said he wanted some juice, so I just got a little bottle," you try, wondering if he'll be mad at you for doing so.

"Let me pay you back," he says, which surprises you, and your eyes widen when he sticks his hand in his pocket.

"No, no! It's okay, it's just juice," you chuckle, trying to ease the tension out of your shoulders, and you put your hands on the basket, hopefully signaling the end of this conversation. "I'm just glad to he's with you," you repeat and before you can take a step, Taj is wiggling out of Aomine's arms and making his way toward you.

"Thank you for the juice! And for staying with me!" he beams, and you smile down at him as you rub over his head, hugging him back when he hugs you.

"Of course, Taj. Just tell your dad where you're going next time, okay?" He nods quickly, and you laugh softly before you try to make your escape again, but it seems like fate doesn't want that just yet.

"So, how have you been?" Or rather, it's him that doesn't want that just yet. You turn around to see that Aomine's standing closer to you than before, Taj standing next to him.

"Pretty good I would say," you say, almost sounding like you're forcing it out until you compose yourself. "Just taking it day by day. How about you? I bet you're having the time of your life," you continue, talking about the fact that he's very popular in the professional basketball setting.

"You could say that," he says with a half-laugh, and it now dawns on you that he has a kid. And he's seven. The last time you saw Aomine was a little over seven years ago, and that was when you finally called it quits. You don't want to jump to conclusions, but you can't help but think if he was seeing someone else while you were together.

The thought leaves a sour taste in your mouth, and you decide to get out of this conversation. "I really have to go, I've got to meet with some friends," you say, not even fumbling over your words as you lie. "It was good to see you," you slowly finish because it actually wasn't, but you're pretty sure that's what you're supposed to say. Right?

Taj tells you goodbye, giving you a wave that you return with a smile before you walk off with your cart, not daring to look back. You could just walk out and forget shopping altogether, but there's nothing in your house, so you needed this shopping trip. You move as fast as you can, hoping that you don't have to run into him anymore.

You ended up getting a lot more groceries than you thought, but you're in and out of the store without running into Aomine again. You make it to your car and start moving the bags into your car. You have big reusable bags that you put multiple groceries in, but that means that they're more on the heavier side.

You hear your name being called, and you turn around to see Taj running toward you with Aomine right behind him. Your heart sinks a bit at the sight of Aomine, sighing internally but putting on a smile when Taj gets to you. He holds his hand up, and you see that he has a flower in his hand. You gasp softly, taking it as you have a hard time fighting your smile.

"What's this for?" you laugh, lowering yourself to his level, and he steps closer to give you a hug.

"I wanted to thank you for staying with me and helping me find my dad," he tells you when he pulls away.

"Thank you, Taj. You didn't have to do that," you say before holding the flower up to your nose to smell it. "But this happens to be my favorite." You rub his head again, standing up fully, and Aomine's moving toward you.

"Let me help you with your bags," he offers, and you don't get a chance to deny it because he's moving before you can speak. He moves them quickly without any trouble, but then Taj wants to help also, which slows Aomine down a bit. You just stand there, wondering how your morning got sidetracked so quickly.

When they're done filling your car, Taj wants to run the cart back to the cart corral, and Aomine lets him since it's in his eyesight. He warns him to watch out for cars, and you both smile as you watch him carefully push it over there. You keep your attention on Taj in hopes that his dad won't start another awkward conversation.

"I don't know how I can thank you." You sigh again, pointedly turning your head.

"Don't worry about it. But maybe just keep an eye on him next time?" you try with a soft chuckle.

"I was on the phone, and I just got caught up."

"You don't have to explain anything to me. I mean, it's not like we really know each other," you add, kicking at imaginary rocks on the ground when you look down at your feet, so you miss the way Aomine's body sags at your words.

Taj comes running back, and Aomine hides his face with a smile as he gives his son a high-five. "Well, I really should get going. Thanks for helping me out," you say, looking down at Taj. Aomine seems to get the hint this time because he nods before beginning to step away from your car when you walk to the door.

"It was really good seeing you," he admits, but all you can respond with is a nod and a tight smile. You give one last wave to Taj before getting in the car, and you can see the two of them turn around and walk to their car in your rearview mirror. Aomine straps Taj in the backseat, and you can see him look at your car one last time before he gets in his. You grab the steering wheel before letting your head fall on top of it, releasing a loud groan that you couldn't before.

You start the car and make a point to not think about the last hour of your life as you drive home. You rationalize the whole thing by coming to the conclusion that you'll never see him again. At least in person, and speaking of that, how did you not know he had a kid? You hadn't been following Aomine's NBA journey because you didn't want to look at anything that reminded you of him after you graduated high school.

You feel like you might've heard about a kid if you think about it, but for some reason, you just never put it together that he belonged to Aomine. But now that you've seen him, there's no mistaking that he's Aomine's kid. He's basically a photocopy of him, even down to the same color hair. You're sitting at a red light when you realize that you're now thinking about someone that you said you weren't going to think about.

But you know you won't be able to get over it until you analyze every new piece of information you found out today. Taj is seven? The question just makes you go back to those bad thoughts. He's definitely not your kid, and you don't know his birthday so you can't match it up to when you and Aomine broke up.

A car honking snaps you out of your thoughts, and you drive through the light, already thinking of ways to get your mind off of this. The rest of your drive home goes by in a blur once you fully immerse in the music you have playing in your car. You get to your apartment, sighing as you mentally prepare yourself to carry all of your groceries to your door.

Even though you're on the verge of sweating and desperately want to sit down, you put your frozen and refrigerated groceries up before you sit down on the couch. You sit in silence for a while as you wait for your heartbeat to settle down, letting your head fall back so that you can look at the ceiling.

You let your hand fall over your eyes, laughing a little as you think about everything that happened this morning. And then you shake your head when you realize that you don't look your best today, but then you cut yourself some slack because it's early in the morning on a weekday. There was no reason for you to go all out for a grocery trip.

But seeing Aomine of all people? Do you really want to take that trip down memory lane? Something that you've been trying to get over ever since it happened? You quickly decide that you don't want to; it's too early in the morning for you to get your mood ruined.

You get up once you're not close to sweating and your heart has calmed down. You start to put away the rest of your groceries, and you're grabbing the last of the stuff when a receipt floats to the floor. You frown because you swore the cashier gave it to you, and you put it in your back pocket. You put your chips away, closing the cabinet before picking up the receipt.

You see that there's only one item that's been bought, and you look further down to see a phone number. You scoff when you recognize the number, rolling your eyes when they read the message of wondering if you'd like to catch up. You ball up the paper before throwing it away. You're not going through that again, and there is no reason for you to be in contact with Aomine anymore.

It's been about a month since that run-in with Aomine, and you hate how you're constantly on edge whenever you go to the store. Whenever you get to the car when you're done, your shoulders hurt when you relax from how tense you've been. For the first two weeks, it was like you were waiting to just run into him again. Then after that, you sort of snapped yourself out of it. The chances of you seeing Aomine again were very slim, so after a while, you finally started to relax. You had absolutely no reason to be anxious.

The weather is starting to cool down a bit thank goodness, so you're allowed to do a bit more with the kids you're babysitting. You've been babysitting for a few years now, trying to find something to make ends meet when you're not working. You weren't always working seasonally, but it paid a little more and you got more freedom, so you took the opportunity.

You've grown your clientele over the years due to babysitting for friends, and then they would tell their friends, and so on. The kids you're babysitting now you've been watching since they were babies. Their mom is one of your best friends, and you always help her out when she and her husband's jobs have them staying somewhere out of the city.  

You're at the park with them today since it's a lot cooler than it has been since September is right around the corner. You're sitting on one of the benches, reading a book that you've been meaning to finish while you keep an eye and ear on the kids. You look up when you finish the chapter to make sure you can still see them before you look down to start the next one.

"Hi, y/n!" You frown as you raise your head because the voice doesn't sound like your kids but it does sound familiar.

"Taj?" you question with an eyebrow raised. "What are you doing here?"

"My dad brought me," he answers, and you look up in time to see Aomine walking up to you. So much for your chances of seeing him again being slim to none.

"Funny seeing you here," he jests, and you give him a tight-lipped smile.

"Yeah," you mumble.

"Are your kids playing here, too?" Taj asks, and your smile is genuine as you shake your head.

"No, they're my friend's kids. I'm babysitting," you explain. "You wanna meet them? They're around your age." Taj doesn't really give you an answer, looking a little on the hesitant side, but you don't get a chance to continue because the kids come up to you.

"Do you have any snacks, Auntie?" Kayla asks, and you know her brother is going to ask the same thing.

"Yeah, but I want you to guys to meet someone first," you start. "This is Taj, and he's around you guys' age."

"I'm Tyson," your nephew says. "How old are you?"

"Seven," he answers quietly.

"So am I! I'm Kayla!" she shouts. "And I like your hair!" she compliments, and you laugh a bit. "You can play with us if you want."

"Okay," Taj whispers, nodding his head. You hand them some snacks after getting them some hand sanitizer. You offer some to Taj as well, and they snack a little before they go back to the playground. Aomine's still standing when they leave, and the air suddenly turns awkward like it did at the store.

"You mind?" he asks, gesturing toward the bench. You shake your head as you scooch over a bit, and Aomine sighs as he takes a seat next to you. "So, you're babysitting now?"

"Yeah, kinda," you say, nodding your head a little. "I work a seasonal job remotely, so I babysit for a little extra money."

"How long you been doing that for?"

"A while," you chuckle. "I started right before senior year of college, but the amount of kids that I babysit now has really grown since then." He nods after you're done, and you don't know what to ask him because you already know what he's been up to. But then that one thing that's been bugging you in the back of your mind comes up.

"You know," you begin, "Taj is seven."

"Right," Aomine responds slowly.

"And we...broke up a little over seven years ago." You look away at the kids playing, and you hear Aomine sigh.

"Yeah?" he voices, and you know he's probably wondering where you're going with this.

You take a deep breath before you get the courage to look at him, and you jump internally when you see that he's staring right at you. "Did you--" You don't even know if you can get it out. "Did you cheat on me?"

If someone saw the look on his face, they probably would've thought you insulted him to the highest degree. "Of course not. I would never." He sounds offended, a little hurt, and you hate to say that you're relieved he sounds that way. "I swear I didn't cheat on you, but it's complicated with Taj's mom."

You nod in lieu of speaking, still getting over how eased you feel knowing that he didn't cheat on you. It's been bothering you since you found out about Taj, and it would've just put more salt in the wound if he said yes.

"Are you seeing anyone?" he asks after the both of you are silent for a while.

"Nah," you huff, shaking your head. "Been kinda on the busy side lately." You're not looking at him as you answer, but you hear him hum, and you can see him stuff his hands in his jacket pockets. "Are you seeing anyone?" You don't really care, but you feel like you have to or you should ask.

"No." He answers the same way you do with a huff and a shake of his head. "Haven't seen anyone in years." You nod quietly, hiding your surprise as best as you can. That's honestly a shock to you, but he could just be referring to dating and not how many people he's slept with.

Silence falls between you again, and you relax against the back of the bench, feeling your shoulders hurting from how tense you are. How are you supposed to sit here and act like everything is fine when he broke your heart seven years ago? You want to say that you're over it, but fuck, did it hurt. You don't know if you can sit here and act like what happened between the two of you didn't happen.

"You, uh," he starts, picking at some loose lint on his pants, "you never texted."

"I don't have your number," you lie, kicking at the ground a little.

"You didn't see it on the receipt?"

"I don't think I did," you claim, slowly shaking your head. When you look at him, he has this look on his face, but you don't keep eye contact for too long for fear that he'll see right through you.

"Well, we should probably exchange numbers," he continues, "you know, for the kids."

You look at said kids. Is he seriously using them to get your number?

"Sure," you sigh, figuring that if you do give him your number, it doesn't mean that he'll be texting you all of the time. You take your phone out of your pocket, unlocking it before handing it to him. "You didn't text yourself?" you ask when he gives you back your phone.

He shakes his head. "No, I still have your number saved."

"After all this time?" you joke, but you're mostly laughing to hide your disbelief.

"Of course." You look forward instead of looking at him, turning your attention to the kids playing. You hate how a part of you finds it endearing that he still has your number saved. The other part of you however is confused as to why he still would. Towards the end of your relationship, he didn't make it known that he cared about you that much. You briefly wonder if he even had your name still saved by the time you called it off.

You internally shake your head. It doesn't matter anymore, that was all in the past. You can maintain a civil relationship with him even though you don't really want to. What you want to do is scream at him and ask him why he spent so much time chasing you back then just to break your heart in two. It took your friends to convince you that everything that went down back then wasn't your fault.

You felt like it was though because you didn't want to mess with him in the first place, but you did it anyway. You met in your last year of high school when he transferred, and you knew the basketball coach, so he asked you to show him around to make sure he doesn't get lost. He already had everybody's attention because he was the new kid, but you didn't want to give him any more attention. There was no reason to.

But the fact that you didn't really care about him seemed to only make him more interested in you. You had a couple of classes together, so he used that to mess with you every chance he had. Along with that, you were the manager for the girls' basketball team, which meant you were seeing him even more. Whenever there was an away game, you were stuck on the bus with both teams, and Aomine always found a seat near you.

The coaches were strict about boys and girls not sharing seats, but he didn't let that stop him. He was always looking for you whenever he was playing, and he'd always do it whenever he scored, knowing that you'd be looking. You always told him how much he annoyed you, but it never seemed like he cared. If you were on the bus after an away game, you would always sit in the back, trying to get some of your homework done.

Aomine would be sitting in the seat across from you, watching you until you finally said something. He would use these bus rides back to be a little bit bolder in his advances. A lot of people would go home with their parents after the games, but you and Aomine, most of the time, weren't in that category.

After one game, you finally gave in, letting him kiss you on the way home. You knew how attractive he was, and you'd be crazy not to be into him, but you held out for so long.

But you still wouldn't let your guard down. It took him weeks after that, and multiple sneaky kisses to convince you that he was really into you. Even after the season was over, he was promising to take you out, showing you how serious he was. You didn't tell anyone when you finally made your relationship official, but people basically already knew. Since it was your last year in high school, you both, of course, had the college talk.

Neither of you wanted the other to sacrifice their future for the other, so you ended up going to different schools, but they were close to each other. At first, it was great; you and Aomine were talking all of the time and seeing each other during your breaks. But then he started to get more distant. You knew that he was busy with practice since he was being scouted for the NBA, but he would go days without contacting you.

When you finally got around to seeing him in person, he wasn't the same Aomine that you knew. He was paying more attention to his friends, practically leaving you out of everything. You couldn't handle it anymore, and when you finally blew up, he looked at you with the most bored look on his face. It was then you realized that you wasted almost a year of your life with him.

When you walked out, he tried to call for you, but you ignored him. You went home, not even bothering with crying because you had done that on the way home. He tried to call you and text, but you ignored every single one until they stopped. You never saw him again and you didn't want to. You briefly heard his name filtering through sports news, but that was it. You finally healed and moved on from him, having a couple of partners since then, but it never really led toward anything.

The one thing you didn't like was that it felt like something was missing with them, but you could never figure it out. The last thing you expected to happen was to run into him and reunite him with his kid. Life sure has a way of throwing the most random things at you when you least expect it.

"So, you come here often?" Aomine's voice snaps you out of your daydream, and you look at him with an amused yet confused smile.

"To the park?" you question.

"Uh, yeah," he starts, taking one of his hands out of his pockets. "Like, with the kids I mean. How often are you here?" he finishes, waving his hand before he rubs at the back of his neck.

"It depends on where their parents are," you answer. "If their parents are out of town and the weather's nice, then they usually like to spend their time here." You watch him nod at your answer. "But they'll be home for a while, so I probably won't be here as much," you add. It's definitely not a lie, but you hope that by you telling him this, he'll tone it down a bit. You have no desire to try and build a whatever with him again. That ship has sailed.

You know what he's doing, and it's like it's high school all over again. He's got another thing coming if he thinks that you'll just let him back in again. It's gonna take a lot more than coincidental meet-ups.

"I saw you on TV one time," he starts after the silence becomes some awkward, you nearly can't stand it. "You're amazing at volleyball."

"Thanks," you say softly, curling your lips into your mouth to try and hide your smile. "My friend needed a sand partner in college, and I've been playing ever since."

"So, you have any tournaments coming up?" he asks, and you can't help but look at him, wondering what in the hell is going through his head.

"Not for a while. Once it gets warmer, they'll start back up, so that means I gotta start training now," you laugh softly, mentally preparing yourself for the tough workout you're going to have to start soon. "I usually workout anyway, but I'm gonna have to do a little more if I wanna be in good shape."

He nods, and you take his silence as the end of the conversation. You look back the kids playing, checking the time on your phone. They just got here, so there's no way you're going to be out of this situation any time soon. "You taking anymore clients?" The question makes you freeze for a split second as your heart drops a bit. He can't be asking you what you think he's asking.

"You need a babysitter?" you tease even though no part of you finds this funny.

"Well, Taj seems to really like you, and the season's about to start, so I won't have much time to watch him," he says.

Your mind is racing with thoughts as you think about whether or not to consider. The money would be nice, but seeing Aomine for who knows how long isn't something that you want to do. But Taj seems like a really sweet kid, so you hope in the end, it'll all be worth it, and Aomine will be out of your hair before you even realize it.

"When do you want me to start?"

His eyes cut towards you. "Seriously?" You just give him a look, and he clears his throat. "As soon as possible for you? I've got about a month left before everything is gonna get hectic, so--" He trails off and you nod.

"I can send you all the details and let you know when I'm available."

"Cool," he replies quietly. "Thanks."

"Sure." You internally release a heavy sigh. It feels like time has slowed down immensely. Thankfully, he doesn't try to make anymore conversation, and since you have nothing else to do, you start to get everything ready. You've had to start getting pretty thorough with the paperwork, so you go ahead and try to get a jump on it.

The kids play until they get tired, and you're more than ready to get out of here. The kids had fun playing, and you tell Taj that he can always hang out with them again, and you let Aomine know that you'll be sending him the information within the next week. You follow your niece and nephew to the car, silent as you think about how you ended in this situation. Past you would be screaming right now.

You decide to push it away, focusing all your energy on your plans for the rest of the day. You'll save the sulking for later.

~

"Are you fucking with me right now?"

"You think I would joke about something like this?" you sigh, putting your elbows on your knees before putting your face in your hands. When you dropped off the kids, your friend could tell something was wrong, and it didn't take her long for her to get it out of you.

You're currently on the couch, telling her the events that happened today. You didn't tell her about running into him at the store, figuring that seeing Aomine was just a one-time thing, but his presence at the park today told you that wasn't going to be the case.

"And now you're gonna be babysitting his kid?" she asks, and you rub your fingers over your eyes, a smiling forming on your face against your will. You feel like you have to laugh hearing it out loud. "He didn't cheat on you, did he?"

She was one of the people that was your support system after you broke up with Aomine. It broke you to the point where you almost didn't go to class. She was the reason why you were able to pick to be yourself back up again. To say you fully recovered wouldn't really be the truth, but it was enough to where you could go long periods of time without thinking about him.

You're quick to shake your head. "No, he said he didn't. He actually looked distraught that I even asked him that."

She sighs as she lays back against the couch, and you copy her, letting your body fully relax as your hands make their way over your eyes. "Well, this is not what was on my bingo card for you this year."

"You're telling me!" you exclaim softly. "God, what did I even do for this to happen?" you ask out loud to yourself. "His kid is cute though. Looks just like him," you continue. "And hopefully, when all of this starts, I'll be seeing Aomine for as little as possible."

"So, you're actually going through with it?" she questions.

"Why not?" you shrug. "I kinda don't have anything to lose, and I'm making money."

"Well, if you need to me to beat him, I'll be there in an instant." You both laugh, and she pulls you into a hug.

"Thank you," you whisper into her hair. You didn't realize how much you needed to talk to her. Ever since Aomine came back into your life, you've been so tense, only realizing it when you hugged her.

"Of course."

You're currently driving to Aomine's house, blasting the music from the speakers to try and drown out the unpleasant thoughts. You can't believe a month has already passed so fast, and babysitting is the last thing you're worried about. You can't help but admire the mansions you pass as you start to get closer to his house, and you already knew that he was obviously loaded, but it doesn't really hit you until you're pulling into the driveway.

Aomine's already opening the door when you walk up the driveway as you lock your car, and you give him a friendly, closed-lipped smile as he steps to the side to let you in. You look around as you hear him close the door, and you take a deep breath. You turn around to face him, and you hate how your heart still skips a beat when you look at him. You will the younger part of yourself to stay at bay and remain professional.

"So, welcome to my home," he says awkwardly, putting his hands in his pockets, and you can't help but chuckle, hoping that it'll diffuse the stifling tension. "Lemme show you around," he says quickly after, and you follow him as he takes you through the house. "Obviously, this is the living room and the kitchen," he points out with a soft wave of his hand. "Feel free to help yourself whenever you're here by the way," he adds before continuing the tour.

He takes you down a hallway, and he shows you the laundry room before opening another door. "I know you said you work remotely, so if you're here while you're working, you can use this space for an office," he offers.

"Thanks," you say quietly, taking a look around the room. He takes you down another hallway, and you don't fight the excitement you feel when you see how big the gym he has is.

"You can use whatever, I'm not gonna be using this as much once everything starts," he tells you. "I know you said you needed to start training, so have at it." You're relieved to say the least. You never really like going to the gym, and the one at your apartment pales in comparison with his.

He shows you the backyard, which looks exactly like you thought it would with a big patio, pool, and everything. He takes you upstairs next, gesturing to one of the closed doors, telling you it's his room. There are a couple more bedrooms and guest bathrooms, and he shows you an open space next which you assume he uses for entertaining along with a playroom for Taj, seeing some toys scattered about.

Once that's done, you stop when he stops at a door, knocking on it before softly pushing it open. "Guess who's here," he says, and Taj looks up from his drawings, and you smile when his face lights up. He's quick to get up and run over to you, and you hug him tightly when he gets to you.

"What are you doing here?" he asks, barely pulling away from you.

"I'm gonna be your babysitter since basketball season is about to start," you tell him.

"Really?" You laugh as you nod.

"I'm gonna talk to your dad some more, and then we can do whatever you want." He nods before he goes back to drawing, and you smile as you watch him before you and Aomine make your way out of the room.

"Thanks again for doing this," he says as you walk down the hallway and back into the open space. "I owe you a ton."

"Don't worry about it. It is my job after all." He doesn't say anything immediately after you speak, and you try to think of anything to quickly fill the silence. "Well, thanks for showing me around. I'm gonna go back with Taj," you say, hoping that your words don't sound forced.

"Alright," he responds lightly. "I'm gonna be in the house, so if you need anything just let me know." You give him a nod before you turn around, and you try your best not to walk away too fast, making your way back to Taj's room.

He looks up when you walk in, and you sit down next to him on the floor. "Whatcha drawing?" you ask softly.

"A dragon," he answers quietly.

"Are they your favorite?" He nods, and you don't bother to ask him any more questions, deciding just to sit there and watch. He's pretty good, being able to tell what he's drawing without even asking him; you only did so to try and make conversation. You look around his room, seeing that there isn't anything on the walls, and the only things in the room are the furniture and some toys here and there.

"Can you draw?" he asks you suddenly, and you look at him to see that he's done drawing.

"Not really," you answer honestly. "But I can try." You grab a piece of paper and some crayons. "You want me to draw anything?"

"Can you draw a castle?"

"That seems easy enough." He moves closer to you once you start to draw, his attention solely focused on your paper, and a smile appears on your face at his actions. Your castle looks pretty decent, and you add bricks for a little more detail. Taj wants you to add in some more landscape, so you do, and he finishes it off by drawing another dragon.

"This looks amazing!" you praise. "You wanna hang it up?" you ask, and he nods quickly in response. You both stand, leaving the room to try and find some tape. He follows you down the stairs, and you make your way to the office to see if there's any tape in there. You cheer softly when you find some, and you tear the pieces off.

"You wanna hang this up in your room?" He nods and both of you make your way back upstairs, and you put the tape on the drawing before you hand it to him. He stands in the middle of the room, spinning around slowly trying to figure out where he wants to put it.

You watch him move over to his bed, and he stands on top of it so he can put it on the wall over his bed. You pick up a crayon off the floor, and walk over to him as he smooths down the paper. "Let's write our names, hm?" You hand it to him so he can write his first, and you take it from him, writing yours along with today's date. "Looks good, doesn't it?"

"Yeah," he says happily before he turns around to give you a hug.

"You wanna do something else or do you wanna keep drawing?" you ask.

"Drawing," he answers, getting off the bed, and you found yourself back on the floor next to him. You opt to watch him, only drawing something when he asks you, and soon enough, his once plain walls are covered in his drawings.

"You wanna ask anything about me?" you try once it seems like he's done enough drawing.

"Can I?"

"Sure! Ask me anything you want."

You smile when you see the wheels turning in his head as he thinks of what to ask, and you wait patiently for this question. "How old are you?"

You laugh softly, knowing that was coming. "I'm twenty-five."

"Is babysitting your job?"

"One of them, yes," you answer with a nod. "I work another job remotely but not for the whole year. I also play volleyball."

"Really? Is it fun?" he asks, clearly engaged in the conversation.

"Yeah, I have lots of fun! I love volleyball. You wanna see me play?" He nods quickly, you pull your phone out of your pocket before scrolling through your gallery to find a video from one of your tournaments. You find, turning your phone to the side and moving it towards him. He moves closer to you, and you point at the screen once the video starts. "That's me on the right."

He watches the whole thing, completely engaged. "Woah! You're so cool!"

"Why, thank you," you laugh, easily accepting the compliment. "You wanna try it out?" He nods quickly, and you both stand up again, this time on the way to your car. Aomine's in the living room watching TV, and he's looking at his phone when he hears you both coming down the stairs.

"How long have you been playing?" Taj asks you as you walk through the house.

"Since middle school." Aomine smiles as he watches you interact, completely ignoring him, but he doesn't mind it at all. He wonders in his head where you're going, and he watches the both of you disappear out the front door. Only a couple of minutes pass by before the both of you are coming back through the door, but this time Taj has a volleyball in his hands.

Aomine figures you both are going to play in the backyard, and he can't help but thin about how Taj interacts with you completely different than he interacts with him. He didn't even know he could talk that much, and this seems like the happiest he's ever seen him. It makes a sour taste form in Aomine's mouth, so he tries his best to brush it off and focus on the TV. Sadly, he isn't able to do it for long.

You've been babysitting Taj for about a month now, and you're glad that you haven't been seeing Aomine as much. The only time you do is when he comes back from practice or from games. You stay in the house until he comes home, and then you take your leave. You do it rather quickly so that he doesn't try to start up any conversations with you. Most of the nights you're lucky since he seems too tired to talk, but other nights, you have to try and dodge the small talk.

You don't really have anything you want to talk about with Aomine, and you know that it's just going to end up being awkward, so you'd rather just avoid it. Right now, you're sitting on the couch in the living room with the TV on, but you're mostly paying attention to your phone. Since it's Friday night, you let Taj stay up for a little bit longer since he doesn't have to get up early tomorrow.

Your body tenses for a split second when you hear the keys in the front door, but you quickly compose yourself before Aomine opens the door. He smiles tiredly when he sees you, and you give him a tight-lipped smile as you stand. You start to pack your stuff up, making sure you have everything when Aomine walks up to you.

"Hey, I just wanted to thank you for watching for Taj. I don't know how I can ever repay you." You chuckle a bit as you shake your head, shoving your hands in the back pockets of your jeans.

"Whaddya want, Aomine?" you sigh.

"What?"

"You always start with something like that when you're gonna ask me for something." He huffs a bit, rubbing his hand over the back of his neck.

"Okay, okay," he sighs. "I've got a tournament coming up, but it's out of the state. I'll be gone for about a week."

"So, you want to be go from babysitter to nanny?" you say, and you smile a bit when he starts to panic.

"You don't have to. I can try and find someone to watch him--"

"Aomine, chill. I'm just fucking with you," you laugh, and he relaxes as he smiles.

"Are you sure?"

You nod quickly. "Yes. I love watching Taj, and I can do my work remotely, so it all works out."

He sighs in relief. "Thank you so much. I owe you big time."

"Don't worry about it. I hope you guys do well."

"Thanks," he responds, and you can tell it's about to get awkward. "Is Taj already asleep?"

"I'm not sure. I let him stay up a little longer tonight since he doesn't have school tomorrow," you answer, and at that, you head towards his room with Aomine in tow. You softly knock on the door, stepping inside to see Taj asleep on the floor. You pout softly as you carefully walk over to him, and you try to pick him up without waking him.

He stirs as soon as you get him into your arms, and you stop moving, smiling when he looks at you. "Let's get you changed, okay?" you tell him quietly, and he nods sleepily, rubbing his eyes. He puts on his pajamas quickly before crawling into bed, and you tuck him before sitting next to him.

"Thanks for letting me stay up," he whispers.

"Of course, Taj."

"Are you leaving?"

"Yeah, I am," you say with a nod. "Sleep tight, okay? I'll see you soon." He nods, sitting up to give you a hug. You pull the blanket back up when he lays down, giving him a kiss on the forehead before you stand up and walk towards the door.

"Goodnight, Taj," Aomine says from the doorway, but he's already fallen back asleep. You turn the light off, slowly closing the door before you walk back downstairs. You grab your stuff, heading out of the door, and as per usual, Aomine walks you to your car.

"I'll, uh, see you later?"

"Yeah," you mumble. "Goodnight, Aomine," you say as you get into your car.

"Goodnight," he responds softly, standing in the driveway until you drive away and he can't see you anymore.

~

Aomine's tournament is in a couple of days, but he actually has to leave during the weekend since the games start on that Monday. Aomine gave you a key to his house once you started watching Taj, so you let yourself in, seeing Taj sitting on the couch. He smiles in surprise, jumping and running over to give you a hug before you can barely close the door.

"What are you doing here?" he asks excitedly.

"Your dad's got a tournament out of the state, so I'm gonna stay here with you. That sound good?"

"Yeah!" he exclaims as he quickly nods his head. "That means we can play volleyball!"

You laugh. "Yes, it does!" Aomine comes down the stairs with a duffel bag on his shoulder and a suitcase which he rolls it up by the door.

"Thank you again for doing this. I really appreciate it."

"You're welcome, Aomine."

Aomine takes his phone out of his pocket to check the time. "Okay, I gotta catch my flight. I'll see you later. See ya, Taj," he finishes, giving him a fist bump before he heads out of the door, locking it behind him.

"So, what do you wanna do first?" you say, turning to Taj. "Have you already eaten?"

"Yeah, I had cereal not too long ago," he answers. He says he wants to watch TV for now since cartoons are still playing, and you sit with him on the couch while you start to do some work. It's not much, but you want to get out of the way so that it's not over your head for the rest of the week.

Taj asks you about what you're doing soon after you start, and you spend most of your time explaining what you're doing as you do your work. The cartoons are soon forgotten as he keeps his focus on what you're doing. He helps you out on some of the work when he asks, and you're relieved when you're finally done, seeing that it didn't even take nearly as long as you thought it would.

You shut down your laptop, putting all of your work back in your bag, and you ask Taj if there's anything that he wants to do. He wants to play volleyball, so you go grab it out of the car before you walk with him out into the backyard. You always expect to be outside for a long time with kids, but it seems like Taj never wants to stop.

You were passing with him for a while until you got a bit tired, so you decided to sit down. He wanted to learn even more, so you spend the rest of the time teaching him the basics and the techniques of everything. You stay sitting down, tossing him the ball as you encourage him whenever he messes up.

You check your phone to see that it's already lunch time, and that's enough to convince Taj to quit for a while so you both can eat. You look in the fridge to see that there isn't a lot of food for you to cook, so you ask Taj if there's anything specific that he wants.

"Can we have pasta?" he asks as you close the fridge.

"Do you want any sauce?"

"The red kind, what's it called?"

"Marinara," you laugh as you answer. "We'll have to go to store for that if you're up for it?" He nods, running to his room to get his shoes. Aomine left his car seat, so you grab it, hooking it up in the car. Taj is quiet on the way to the store, and you periodically look at him in your rearview mirror, seeing that he's looking out the window.

He holds your hand when you get out of the car, and you let him push the basket around, keeping your hand on it so that he doesn't hit anything. Since you're going to be at the house for the week, you buy enough food to last the both of you. You let Taj pick out any snacks that he wants and any food that he wants to eat this week. When you head to the check out, he's happy to pack everything in the reusable bags that you brought, and you help him pack them while the person scans the items.

After you pay, you have to help Taj push the basket since it's heavier with all of the stuff you bought. You hand him the lighter things as you transfer all of the groceries to the car, and you let him put the cart back into the corral. You make the drive back to the house, and Taj helps you bring the groceries in before helping you put them all away.

He wants to help you make lunch, so you grab his step stool from the bathroom, setting in the kitchen. You let him put the pasta in the water once it boils, watching carefully to make sure he doesn't burn himself. There isn't much too do with pasta, but he seems excited nonetheless to be making it. You drain the pasta once it's done, and he makes his own plate, taking it to the table.

You pour him some juice before you take that and the sauce over to him. You make sure he doesn't pour too much sauce over his pasta before he hands it to you, and he talks your ear off as you both eat. You smile as you listen to him, only prompting him with questions whenever it seems like he's done talking about something.

When you're done eating, you decide to wash the dishes now so that they don't stack up, and Taj helps you with that as well. You try to tell him that he could go play or do something else, but he says that he wants to stay and help you. You find your way back to the couch after you're done with the dishes, and you can tell that he's getting a bit tired. He moves onto your lap as you turn on some volleyball, and he's asking you questions about it until you don't hear him say anything.

You look down to see that he's sleep, and you smile softly as you turn your attention back to the TV, making sure that he's comfortable. You feel your eyelids getting heavy, and you relax further against the couch, watching the TV until you finally fall asleep.

~

You've never had a week go by so fast. Aomine is supposed to be back in a couple of days, and you start to realize that you'll miss spending your days with Taj. Usually, you just pick him up from school and watch him for the night while Aomine is at practice. Or if he's training in the mornings, you take him to school, and watch him until Aomine gets back. You honestly don't know how Taj'll react when Aomine gets back, but you don't worry about that right now.

A bed is calling your name, and after putting Taj in bed, staying with him until he finally went to sleep, you went to the bathroom to hop in the shower, doing your night routine before getting in the bed. Once you get comfortable, it doesn't take you long to fall asleep, rolling over one last time before you finally do.

You suddenly hear something, and you think you're dreaming until you feel something shaking you. You gasp softly as your eyes open, seeing Taj standing in front of you. You sigh heavily as you sit up, blinking the sleep out of your eyes as you look at the clock, seeing that you've been sleep for a few hours.

"Taj? What's wrong?" you whisper, scooting closer to the edge of the bed, and you can see that it looks like he's been crying, the only light in the room the moonlight coming in from the window. "What happened?"

"I had a bad dream," he mumbles. "Can I stay with you?" You nod silently, moving over and pulling the blankets back so that he can slide into the bed next to you. You lay back down, and he immediately attaches himself to you and you rub over his head. You don't ask about it since it doesn't seem like he wants to talk about it, and you can hear him sniffle every now and then.

Aomine periodically checked in on you, making sure everything was going okay and once again thanking you for watching Taj on such short notice. Since they didn't do so well at the tournament, they were able to come back a little earlier than expected, but they had to take a late flight because of that, and he never got around to telling you that he was on his way back home.

When he walks into the house, as he expected, it's quiet. He sighs heavily as he takes his shoes off, slowly making his way up the stairs as he sets his bags in his room. He walks down the hallway to check on Taj, and he frowns when he sees that his door is open. He opens it a little more to see that it's empty, and he looks around, wondering where he could be. He's walking down the hallway again when he hears voices, and he stops in front of one of the guest rooms, seeing you and Taj laying down.

He's about to step inside to announce that he's home, but when his ears tune into the conversation, he doesn't move.

"You and my dad used to date?" Taj asks and you nod. "Why aren't you together now?" he follows.

"Because I liked your dad more than he liked me," you tell him honestly, but you leave it at that.

Aomine chews at his lip as your answer wafts through his ears. He knows you didn't say what you wanted to say.

Taj looks down at his hands as he messes with his fingers. "Sometimes I feel like my dad thinks about basketball more than me." And it takes everything in Aomine for him not to reveal himself right then and there.

"Taj," you start, "what makes you say that?"

He shrugs. "Well, I didn't spend much time with him growing up, and then suddenly I was. But it didn't feel like he really liked me being here."

"Taj, I can tell you right now that that is not true," you quickly reassure. "Your dad loves you," you state. "He just has a really weird way of showing it."

He shifts his eyes to you. "How do you know?"

"Well, I know that he hasn't been staying at practice late as much as he usually does," you answer. "I think he's doing that so he can spend more time with you." It doesn't look like it convinces Taj, and Aomine didn't think he could ever feel so shitty. "Taj, I think you should talk to your dad about how you feel," you offer when he doesn't respond. "You might not think he'll listen, but I'm confident that he will."

"Do you think it'll change anything?"

"You won't know if you don't try, but I think it will," you insist. "Is there anything you really want to ask him?"

Taj thinks about it for a bit. "If he's gonna at least be home for my birthday," he says. "I know that he can't help it if he has to play, but sometimes he doesn't even come home."

God, you wish there was something you could say to make Taj even the least bit happy. You pull him into a hug, and after a while, he wraps his arms around you. "I can be there with you to talk to him if that'll help. I'll even make sure he's there and doesn't bail out."

"Okay," he whispers into your shirt.

Aomine never says anything, slowly and quietly stepping away from the door as he makes his way to the bar in the open space down the hall.

Taj has fallen asleep again, and you slowly peel away from him, careful not to wake him, before you tiptoe out of the room with the intention of using the bathroom. You walk out into the hallway, the conversation you just had playing through your head. You see a light on down the hall when you walk out, and you frown as you carefully walk towards it. You peek around the corner to see Aomine sitting at the bar. His back is towards you, but it doesn't look like he's drinking anything, but his head is in his hands.

You sigh in relief since it's not a stranger, and you walk over to him. "When did you get back?" you ask, but he doesn't respond. "Aomine?" you whisper, stepping closer to him.

"Are you okay?" you try when he stays silent.

He turns to you suddenly which makes you jump back a bit, and the look in his eyes is something you've never seen. Not in Aomine's eyes. "You're not gonna tell me anything, are you?" he whispers, his voice cracking a little, and you can finally notice that his eyes are red. You could only tell when you got closer because the only light is coming from the lights under the bar.

"What are you talking about?" you ask, worry starting to bury itself in your chest.

"I heard your conversation with Taj earlier." Your chest rises with a silent gasp before you audibly let the breath out, your eyes falling shut in a long blink.

"Aomine--"

"I'm a piece of shit, aren't I?" You don't say anything and he scoffs bitterly, a weak laugh coming from him after. "I shouldn't be a fucking father. I shouldn't have the responsibility of a child." You're silent, truly at a loss for words. "Hell, the only reason why you're here now is because I fucking lost him in the damn store!" he laughs, looking back down at the bar, and you play with your fingers as your nerves start to react to your uneasiness. "And you can't even deny it."

"Aomine, it's not like everyone knows how to be a parent right out of the gate--"

"Don't make excuses for me," he interjects, his voice rising. "I had more than enough time to get my shit together, but even though Taj has been here for years, I just didn't wanna believe it. He doesn't deserve that." He looks at you again. "What have I done to him?" he asks you, the question quiet in the air.

"What do you mean?"

"He has to have habits or something because of my shitty parenting," he answers. "If you could even call it that." You don't want to respond because you know your answer will just make him spiral even more. But Aomine can tell by the look on your face that you have answers ready on your tongue. "Tell me," he quietly demands.

"Listen--"

"Don't try to go soft on me. Tell me." You sigh, running your hand down your face before you take a couple of steps closer to him.

"Look, I'm not a professional, but from what I've seen from other experiences in the past," you start, "he, uh, seems very independent for his age. He seems to be way more willing to do things like helping wash the dishes, getting the groceries, stuff like that...instead of going to play or something," you say. "I'm not saying that's unusual, but it seems like he'd rather do anything with me than anything by himself."

"What else?" he presses quickly, his eyes back on the wood, tapping his finger against it.

"When it comes to physical touch, he seems okay with hugging. But if it goes on longer than that, then he shies away from it." You look down at the floor, taking another heavy sigh before you continue. "Which could be because he's always been rejected by someone whom he wanted to be held by." You glance at Aomine without lifting your head, and he pulls his lips down as he nods.

"Keep going."

"This--"

"I need to hear it."

You can feel your heart start to sink, but you continue anyway. "Ever since I've been coming here, he's broken out of his shell." You start on a positive note, but Aomine knows it's about to take a horrible turn. "But if I stopped coming or if he has no promise that I'm coming back, it will definitely affect him...a ton."

Daiki laughs softly, rubbing his eyes as he continues. "I'm surprised he hasn't run away yet." You make the mistake of showing a reaction to his words, and he prying you to elaborate.

"The day at the store, he could've been trying to," you admit. "It's just a hunch, but that was the only time since I've met Taj that I've seen him on the verge of tears. I'm guessing he was standing in an aisle for who knows how long to see if you would notice." You don't know why you're still talking. "And when you didn't, he found me."

He huffs. "But he knows that he's a kid and that he probably won't get very far. He's also very aware of the dangers if he does run away."

"Poor kid," he muses. "He's got two parents that don't give a fuck about him."

"Aomine, that's not true--"

"He'd probably be better off with a different family," he counters suddenly, and you can feel your uneasiness morphing into irritating anger the more he cuts you off.

"Putting him in the system would only be worse for him," you state.

"Would it?" he questions with a heavy shrug, holding your gaze.

"Yes, he--"

"It would probably be better if I was somewhere far away from him--"

You're fuming. You step into his space before grabbing his face in your hand, turning his head to yours hard. "Shut. The. Fuck. Up." His eyebrows raise just a bit. "What do you want me to say, Aomine?! Yeah, you are a piece of shit father, you already know that!" you yell, making sure to keep your voice down since Taj is sleeping. "You're making fucking excuses! You need to grow the fuck up! Taj needs you now more than anything, and you're trying to send him off! Instead of being sorry, you need to be a damn father!"

Your voice still echoes in the quiet room even though it's just above a whisper. "You can fucking change, Aomine, but you're refusing to!" you scream. "You're right! Taj does deserve better than this! And stop putting yourself down so fucking much! That thinking is only going to transfer over in your parenting." Your fingers are starting to hurt from how hard your grip is on his face, but you're pissed. "You give a fuck about him, Aomine. My being here is proof of that. But you need to give a fuck about making the changes to being a better parent."

You let go of his face, but he doesn't move. "You need to get it together," you breathe. "Because this?" you say, pointing at him and moving your finger up and down. "Is pathetic." You turn around, not even giving him a second glance as you start toward the exit of the room. "When you find the Aomine I know, come find me."

You storm out of the room, and Aomine listens to your footsteps get quieter and quieter until he hears a door open and close. Your words are ringing loudly in his ears, and he softly runs his fingers over his face where yours were. His mind isn't even running, the only thing on replay are those words. He loses track of how much time he spent sitting on that bar stool, and he doesn't even get a full night's sleep.

The conversation keeps him up almost all night.

[gramophoneturtle]

October 2024 Update

Heyo it's been a while! Hope folks here are doing well. I haven't been making a lot of stuff recently, but I've made some good progress with my site and finally got RSS feeds working!! (More on that below.) There's definitely visual improvements it needs but it should still be pretty decent to navigate around the site! It's more important that I get my art and details on there while uh... social media sites are still functioning.

(I did download an archive of this blog, just in case. Although maybe it's easier to use that instead of the website's archive. Ah well.)

I'm still posting primarily on pillowfort, then my site, and then bluesky. I'm not super into bsky but it fills the role I used for twitter for updates. And even though pifo's funding goals has been hit pretty consistently this year, the funds it has is currently another 3 months (Jan 2025). For each month it hits, the longer it can go on, and it at least has a buffer and is transparent about finances. This why I'm still focusing on my site, so I'll another place to store my work.

On to more details!

Website

I've got RSS Feeds! Got different feeds for All Updates, Art Only and Site Only. You can find links to them on the home page and the footer of each page, but RSS feed readers should be able to detect them anyways. Hoping to have Writing Only and Crochet Only one day when I a) have more than one batch of Writing and b) have a crochet section!

As above, there is a Writing section! Currently, 3 are from my crochet posts on pillowfort and one has only been posted on my site and pillowfort since it's OC focused (Null, Chisa and a bit of Father)

Artworks have a link to Related Series/AUs. They're like the Master Posts I have here for stuff like Composer Neku AU

New Artwork is added some time after being posted to pillowfort and old artwork is still being added in small chunks. Sometimes alternate versions are added that weren't posted on Tumblr. Looking back on older pieces make them not feel as incomplete as they did before

This has been around for a while but on each artwork page I have a "Posted On" section that will list any active social media site and a link to the actual post that I made with the artwork. So while the site doesn't have a guestbook (one day??) if it's posted on another social media site you're on, you can like/reblog/comment/whatever from those links! The cohost ones are there but I might remove them later since I think cohost should be in read only mode now...?

Other Stuff

I haven't been drawing as much but it's been mostly OC stuff. I have WIP for TWEWY stuff cause I feel a still little aimless at the moment for making art or I run out of energy and motivation to finish pieces more quickly than usual. Doing site work is definitely taking away from that, but that's just how it is!

Timelapses should be returning! A new computer means I can actually record timelapses from start to finish for a piece, instead of recording them in batches and stitching them together later. The first timelapse in a while is on Youtube featuring Null!

I think that's pretty much it. I did take a break from streaming on Twitch but I'm pretty much back to weekly streams. I did a test crochet stream last week and finished making a little jellyfish so I'll be doing more of those too. Since the last post, I've made a little gray cat and a Null jellyfish.

[sunlightmarquee]

Welcome to Sunlight Marquee!

This is a very story-driven roleplay blog, featuring muses from the Boktai series. Taking place after the events of Boktai 3: Sabata's Counterattack, this blog will feature an original storyline set within the world of Boktai.

This blog is 18+ only, meaning no minors allowed.

Crossovers and OCs are encouraged and allowed!

Google Site Link for Muses, Rules & Lore

CURRENT STORY ARC: N/A

ALL STORY WRITINGS:

Prologue: Loss (ft. Django and Otenko) Prologue: Time (ft. Lita, Django and Sabata) Prologue: Sunless Future (ft. ???, Django and Sabata) Prologue Final: Seek the Sun (ft. Rena, Django, Sabata, Otenko and Nero)

OTHER BLOGS:

@kokuycku - Post-Canon Canon Divergent Dark Blog @emanatorofbalance - Multifandom-based Dimensional Jumper OC @brcveshiine - Fate Dual-OC Blog

Mobile Rules:

001. This is an extremely private, heavily selective and 18+ Only blog, which means that I'll be extremely picky on who I rp with and make sure that they are NOT a minor. It's easier to be a private blog that only follows a few people instead of a million.

002. Please do NOT interact with me if you interact with Fafnir or Miles. Here is a google doc saying why, as it's too much for this carrd to handle.

003. I AM NOT A MEME SOURCE. Please reblog any and all memes from the source. I google search for a meme blog with it if I cannot find one to not clog up other people's notifications with reblogs of rp memes from them.

004. There will be times that I forget/lose replies. You're more than welcome to come and tell me if I've lost them.

005. IF YOU ARE GOING TO BREAK MUTUALS WITH ME, PLEASE SOFTBLOCK ME. It's a lot easier on both of us in the end and I'm not fooled into thinking we're still mutuals bc tumblr doesn't have anything to show who's still a mutual or not.

006. NO POLITICS OF ANY SORT IS ALLOWED. If you must be political, please make sure it's on your personal blog and not your Roleplay blog. I avoid all politics due to mental health issues. I do care about what is happening, but for the sake of not doomspiralling and getting bad enough to be admitted to a mental hospital, I can't have any political stuff on my dashboard. Yes, I can block it with the filter, but I need to keep myself sane too.

MORE RULES TO BE ADDED AT A LATER DATE.

[jade-of-mourning]

Hi, I was just passing by and I wanted to say that I really like your LOK posts! Keep up with the good work! Yue bay district's night market is one of my favorite LOK ideas of yours. I really like your Mako posts especially, it's nice to see people who don't hate him. Considering you've recomended steinbeck's fanfiction and reblogged a post about Mako being treated like a female character, I assume that you have seen that little era where people were making fem!Mako and lesbian makorra stuff? These were good times, would be nice to bring it back... I'm also really intrigued by that "girlcore Mako" (sorry, this is the best way I could phrase it) essay you'll never write. Not that I want to force you to write it, but I'm really looking forward to reading it. I would love to see what you have to say on this. This ask is all over the place, but I want to tell you that I love your LOK thoughts! Have a nice day!

hi anon!!!! thank you for stopping by, it's lovely to hear people like my content haha <3 and yes i'm a very big fan of mako if it isn't made obvious by the only content i've posted about as of late kjfdkbhgjbdf

yes! i can confirm that i'm a fan of steinbecks' writing and posts and i'm also a massive fan of the ancient fem!mako/lesbian makorra era <333 in my opinion mako would've made a better girl but. y'know. i can always fantasize about fem!makorra in my empty heart and maybe one day i'll draw them!

and yes i still really do want to write that essay! sometimes when i get too deep into tumblr posts on mako i find people saying here and there that they'll write the essay on how mako is a male female character but it's never actually on their profile, so ig i'll just have to do it myself. it's a sentiment that's been around for a long while but as far as i've scoured, no one's ever really stopped to fully deconstruct that as a concept. so though i'm probably underqualified to do so, i'm willing to try. regardless, i feel like reading him through a female lens somehow explains a lot about his reception/makes him easier to understand and sympathize with. one day,,,, after i finish my unhinged essay for school that i'm unironically writing about korra lmao

have a nice day yourself! thanks for dropping by :)

[ettawritesnstudies]

Hello, I saw one of your posts about getting involved in the writeblr community. I wanted to know how I could step out of the dark and into the sun! I am new and so lost, so any guidance would be appreciated! Thanks! :')

Hi and welcome to writeblr! Sorry this is such a late answer I was super busy with Easter weekend travels, hopefully you still see this anon.

I'm guessing you're referring to this post, which has the "crash course" version, but if you haven't read it yet and you are referring to something else, here's a good place to start.

If you're trying to get started posting about your own work, I think the easiest way to "step out into the sun" is to introduce your WIPs with their own post. I just realized I haven't done one of these in ages because most of my projects are 3rd drafts or stalled, but here's some old examples from when I first got started: AI-Lia Antares, Runaways. It can be as simple as a bullet point list, or you can include all sorts of cute graphics if you want. Another popular way of doing these is "Comic Sans Powerpoints" like this one for Storge, so those can be fun if you want to be silly about it.

Try to include the following info:

Title

Genre/Audience (ex. middle grade portal fantasy, dark historical romance, etc.)

Plot Synopsis

Maybe a quick run-down of the main characters

Any neat worldbuilding details you want to share

Featured tropes, similar books that inspired it, or a vibe/tone to expect from your writing style

Do you plan to publish it? Where can people read it if it's already published? How long is it? Not required but useful

Offer to create a taglist for people who want to follow the story

You can break this idea down into character introductions sharing their backstory, likes/dislikes, motivations, etc, or a blog introduction sharing links to your WIP and character intros, as well as the general stuff you like to write. You can pin a blog introduction to the top of your blog so it's easy for people to find by clicking the dots/meatball menu in the top right corner of a post and clicking "Pin". This makes it easier to notice writeblrs and make friends with common interests at a glance. Here's my pinned post for an example.

If you're struggling to make friends, honestly I don't mind if people send me links or tag me in their intro posts. It might take me a while to respond with thoughtful comments, but I go through my drafts pretty regularly and I'll boost your work to help people find you. Really we're all just attention starved theater kids so I promise you nobody will mind if you pop into their askbox and just start asking questions about their WIP. In fact it would make their day. people regularly beg for interaction. Being a "regular" in their notes liking and reblogging goes a long way

[themanunderyourstairs]

Intro Post here!

Hiya all! My name's Oliver and I'm your typical writer online.

I've made this blog to connect all of my written universes and make them a bit easier to find, without mixing them unnecessarily.

I typically dip my toes in horror, and that's what I enjoy writing the most, alongside suspense etc.

Recently I've been giving analog horror a go, and it's been interesting, still having to figure out how it goes, but we'll see as we go. Hopefully, on this blog as well.

Some of my stuff includes:

@themontgomeryinstitute @universdepeur more to be added as I make the blogs haha.

& any things that might be fanfics I’ll post on my ao3:

themanunderyourstairs on AO3!

And of course the stuff that doesn't really belong anywhere that I'll just post here.

TBH I hope to someday get to the point where people will read my stuff and say nice things about them cause I'm a sucker for compliments.

Tip: To see my writing stuff on this blog without all the reblogs in between just go here or filter by the :oli writes tag!

Anywayyyy, that is it for the intro post, I'll update the blog links as I go, but in general I've no clue what to write for an intro post unless it's for one of the universes I'm working on :')

Fun fact! I'm also the one behind the @out-of-place-podcast blog!

[jack-is-lost]

I've decided to make a post about all my active side blogs. Jack-is-Lost is my main blog. I'll always be posting here foremost, especially when it comes to my own art and The Lost Boys in general. However, here are some other blogs I manage on the side. Feel free to interact, follow, and enjoy the content there!

peroxidepoems (BTVS-themed side-blog - SFW mainly) I've been running this one for a couple of years now. It is mainly Spike-oriented when it comes to content, but I post basically any BTVS stuff I find. I've uploaded some BTVS fanart directly to that blog as well, in the past. lost-betweenthe-pages (NSFW writing blog) I mainly post/reblog horror stuff related to slashers there. I also use it as a place to write NSFW The Lost Boys content (since I prefer to keep my main blog safe). I have and still plan to post some slasher-related fanart there too. Nothing explicit when it comes to art, just tasteful stuff that tumblr allows. PLEASE read the pinned post before interacting or choosing to follow this blog.

steddie-interactions (Steddie-theme side-blog NSFW-ish) Once I noticed myself getting pretty invested in this particular Stranger Things fandom ship, I made a side blog to store all the goodies there. It is still semi-new, at best, but I reblog a lot of steddie content. I have posted a steddie imagine already, plus a headcanon or two, and reblog lots of Steddie art. This blog is meant to be interactable, reason for the name, so always feel welcome to chat with me there. Read the pinned post for more information!

morbidlycuriouscritter (Another horror-centric side-blog) This one focuses on art mainly. If I find something particularly macabre, dark, spooky, and hauntingly beautiful I reblog it to this side-blog. Please read the description of the blog, though! Just to make sure you would feel safe and comfortable following it.

cat-ghost (a personal little side blog about being transgender) I wanted a place to post my own experiences about being a transman. So I created this blog! Formerly so I could post little comics I wanted to do — and still plan to make when time permits. Besides that, I reblog a lot of transgender-related content there.

I have loads more but they have fallen inactive over there years. Most are TLB rp blogs I created in hopes of delving further into their characterization. I always found it easier to write a character after roleplaying as them, picking at their brains and mannerisms, etc. Dwayne was the most active, ironically, while some never picked up any attraction. They still exist, and I might try to revive them someday, but they are hibernating now.

Michael RP Blog | David RP Blog | Dwayne RP Blog | Marko RP Blog | Paul RP Blog | and a wholesomely cute little Laddie RP Blog

[parasolparasol]

A redesign of Tumblr mobile

(Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Tumblr in any way. Any opinions I express in this post are my own. I’m just somebody who has been on Tumblr for many years and wanted to try my hand at redesigning it. I recognize that there may be potential flaws in the following post, and these faults are 100% my own and no one else’s. In an ideal world i’d have access to insider metrics, but in any case this isn’t meant to be collectively exhaustive in any way.)

Hello there! I picked up this redesign project in January and i’ve decided to publish this now, since I wasn’t sure how long it’d take me to do a full write up. I’ve talked to around 100 people over the course of these 2 months and i’ve ran multiple rounds of tests, and I felt bad about leaving everyone hanging. So, here are the results with brief explanations for now! I intend to type out the full process and design rationale at a later date. If you received a message about this within the last 2 months and answered me, thank you so much! 

Alright, let’s get started. At the time of writing, Tumblr for iOS is currently on version 19.0. (Warning: this is a long post, there are badly compressed big gifs.)

Adding Tags

During interviews and in surveys (n=83, python and excel really came in clutch when sorting through the data haha), people often told me they avoided reblogging on mobile due to the large hassle of typing every tag out, opting to save them to drafts instead and add tags later. In terms of data, given that people hit reblog (82% of all users surveyed), 84% of these people also liked to add tags, so it was clear that facilitating the tagging system would be important. To help solve this, I designed a method for people to quickly add tags to post topics they often reblogged. As well as being accessible from pressing the tagging area on the posting screen, this can be accessed from the hold menu, to speed up the interaction even more. 

Another issue that commonly cropped up was the multitude of possible ways to tag a trigger warning. If somebody missed out a tagging method for a TW, they still ran the risk of seeing it on their dashboard. I added a toggle for tagging something as a trigger warning, which would suggest what others commonly added (and you can type your own). This saves people from having to tag “tw:xyz” “tw: xyz” “tw xyz” “cw xyz” etc. (you get the point!) and makes sure that “xyz” is unambiguously marked as a trigger warning. (Can internet strangers be trusted to tag sensitive content properly? Quick study here)

(Reblogging with the hold menu on the left. Posting on the right. If Tumblr displays them top to bottom instead of side by side (I'll let it slide, I know they're reworking the web post editor right now), the top post=left. the bottom post=right. If you’re viewing this on my blog page, please click on the gifs!)

A bonus: A ‘read more’ button has been added back to mobile. Scrolling through long posts gets tedious sometimes, and people like to talk about more personal thoughts under read mores, so i’ve made it easier to access the feature.

Liking Posts

89% percent of users reported that they liked to hold on to posts for future retrieval. With this in mind, I added in a feature to categorize likes, making searching through your likes for future retrieval easier. The ability to like quickly without sorting is retained, added to a hold menu like a quick reblog. After liking, users are also prompted to reblog (PSA: reblogging helps spread OC around! please reblog OC you like more!)

(Liking on tap on the left. Quick liking with the hold menu on the right.)

Your likes can be found and sorted under your blog. 

Recommended For You

Tumblr is fundamentally about exploring and sharing content about topics you love, so I tried to rearrange the navigation to make it easier for users to look at new content about the things they like. The tabs are now rearranged so that new content is easier to find from the homescreen. To ensure relevance, followed tags are now toggles, so the user can pick and choose exactly what they want to see in the recommended tab if they want to. A radar post has also been placed in this tab to increase exposure to featured content creators. (Does being on the radar help out OC posters? Quick study here)

Exploring, and search results

Now that stuff recommended for you has been moved next to the dashboard, the explore page now defaults to trending posts. The top/recent page for tags you followed are now located in the search bar menu. Upon clicking on a search term, you can sort through recent/top posts and post types separately. For example, if you felt like looking at some new fanart that day, all you would have to do is sort by recent photo posts instead of having to sift through every recent post, making it easier for new OC to be discovered.

[ladylynse]

Hello, I'm back XD XD Sorry, busy life, you know how it is. Well, where were we? XD XD god it took me a while to find the last message/replied that I have and I knew you replied. I saw it almost as soon as you post it but it was pretty late and later never arrived. Anyway.... DPXML. you said that it clear not normal if Danny just shrug off weirdness, and that's totally true. But for real with everything that he had to deal with in Amity, I'm not surprise if that's his reaction :) :) Well, keyboard thing, I think that creating shortcuts could also worked. But I assumed that will be problem for future you, good luck with it. (also what? XD XD but I guess, technology doesn't really like you, I'm sorry about that... ^^; ^^;) And yeah, I have only ask you about this crossover. And I agreed some people does have some very interesting ideas and combinations for those. It's very curious to see that variety. O.O O.O I like to believe many safe their ideas in a document in one moment or another rather than post it here. Although there are some who actually post those hoping would inspire someone else. In either way, for me would be write down those ideas in the first place. But each with their own, right? :D :D Have a good day :) :) -Le Fantôme anon

(re: this ask)

Ah, don't we all? Drop in any time you like, Anon, regardless of how much time has passed. If you call yourself the Le Fantôme anon, or pick a new anon name but mention that you were this anon, I'll remember you. (Sadly, you can't shorten it to LF anon and have me keep it straight, since I'm not sure if that person is still around, and I don't want to confuse you with them.)

I tag all my original posts with 'ladylynse', if that helps, so you can search that tag on my blog to screen out all the reblogs (at least ones that didn't originate with me). I usually remember to tag asks with 'asks'. That will make it a little easier to find something if you're going back to it after a bit! Faster than just scrolling through my blog, anyway, since I've got a queue set up all the time. (I can't remember if I would've tagged our last interaction with 'my writing' or not, but I might've.)

There's only so much weirdness Danny can take before he gets to that 'well this might as well happen' point. *grins*

I haven't caught up to future me yet. I shall see if it works then.

It's a fun crossover! I might still do something with it at some point. After I finish up some other fics. And probably after I really get down to writing that DP/ML fic because I'm still excited for that one even if I haven't been actively working on it; I have far too much planned out.

Exactly! Different strategies for different ideas, too, I find. I have posted stuff in the hopes that other people's excitement about it would inspire me to finish it, and sometimes that works for me! (Case in point: The Trouble with Ghosts. To be fair that was more a dead fic than an idea but still. You might be able to count this one, too, since I wrote more solely because of one of my tumblr friends.)

The only thing I've posted that other people have really picked up on and wrote themselves was that one anon's idea of the HP/DP twin au (as opposed to any of the bits of my own stuff). Which is not surprising because, like I said, I don't have a lot of my own stuff on here of that sort of thing. This is largely because a significant swath of my ideas are crossovers with at least one obscure fandom--or it's something I figure most people wouldn't be interested in because it's not a popular angle. (Judging by my grand total of four notes on this post, I'm not making wild assumptions.) So, it lives in my notes or in my head.

[peccolias]

good news! the writing blog has surpassed the personal blog in follower count so if you don’t know i have one and like what i write, hop on over and take a look and maybe follow?

eatbreathewrite

[mittensmorgul]

I'm so sorry if this sounds ignorant, and I'm sure you're tired of explaining it, but do views or "hits" on Ao3 mean anything? Because i'll see the posts about authors needing kudos and comments (which i understand completely) but i'll also see the view count and i'm like "but it's got so many hits, just go by that too!" So what goes into an author truly knowing how well they're doing?

Hi there! And yeah, I’ve explained how this works before, but I’m always happy to explain it again. Because it bears repeating. :)

Hits on AO3 mean very little. Someone clicks through to the fic, reads the tags and summary, maybe the first few paragraphs of a novel-length fic, and then nopes out without finishing. It still registers a hit.

Writing a multi-chapter fic posted in weekly installments that has a significant following? Yeah, hits are also meaningless here, because every time you post a new installment and all your dedicated readers click through to read the next chapter? They each register new hits. They’re not UNIQUE viewers to the entire fic, yet it can still look that way in the hit counter. And if it’s a 50 chapter fic that posts over the course of a whole year? The “compound” hits really start to add up, despite each of those unique readers only being able to leave 1 kudos (albeit multiple comments, if they so desire).

If something we post generates a thousand hits but only 100 kudos, it can start to feel like a lot of readers may not have bothered to read to the end, you know? If I make it to the end of a fic, I hit the kudos button. It takes literally one second, and in my mind it’s the equivalent of saying, “Thank you for writing this and posting it for free for my enjoyment.”

I personally don’t have the “false hits equivalency” problem that writers who post WIP’s do, because I always post complete works. Even when I’ve tried to post serially, I end up giving up after a few days and just going ahead and posting the entire thing. I tried to do that with Ultraviolet, posting a chapter a day, and lasted five whole days before just posting the rest all at once. I have no patience for drawing things out unnecessarily. :P

As a result, the hits count on it are artificially inflated:

2269 hits as of today, when I posted it back at the end of June. But heck, there’s more than 10% kudos-to-hits ratio, so even considering that I know a number of people had been reading along as I posted the first five chapters, that’s still a pretty decent average. Believe it or not, that’s considered to be fairly excellent as a hits-to-kudos ratio.

Now on to the thing I just posted a few days ago, Dean’s Days Off. I posted it all at once (note the posting date):

That’s a lot of hits, considering I can assume that most of them are not redundant, with the same readers clicking back through to read a new chapter. Still, even working under the assumption that A LOT of those are unique hits from different people, I’m left with the assumption that less than 20% of them actually read all the way to the end, because of the kudos.

This theory works FOR NOW, because this is a new story. I doubt many people have had a chance (even if they loved it and intend to read it again someday-- which is just wishful thinking on my part, but whatever) have had a chance to go back and read it again already, you know? So these are largely most probably original hits. But over time, there may be a fair few people who return to read it again and CAN’T leave kudos again. The hits-to-kudos ratio will inevitably drop over time.

Plus there’s also the factor in the other direction-- readers who click through and then download the story (I always do this with fic I love, partly because it’s easier to read on my kindle, but also because I’ve see too much fic I love get taken down by the authors, and I like to make sure I have a copy in case that ever happens). I have fic I’ve reread NUMEROUS times, but the author has no way of knowing how much I adore their writing in that case UNLESS I EXPLICITLY TELL THEM.

AO3 doesn’t keep statistics for downloads. Unless a reader tells me, I have no idea that they may have downloaded my story to read again. It doesn’t even generate another hit in that case, you know?

In any case, kudos, comments, OR hits-- none of them is a perfect gauge for readership. Hits may be meaningless. I think 3 of the hits for T&S were generated by me-- one of which was me noping out within a page or two of starting because there was no way in hell I was gonna keep reading, and two of which were unlabeled links to the effect of, “OMG I JUST READ THIS THING AND I NEED A MOMENT TO RECOVER,” which is an intriguing sort of post where the words “THIS THING” were a link to it... I had no idea, but lo and behold, I generated a “hit” to it. >.>

I’ve clicked on fic recs that from the description in the post sounded right up my alley, only to see something in the tags on AO3 that made me nope out of reading, or got a short way in to the story before realizing it just wasn’t my thing and closing out. All of that generates hits. Meaningless, meaningless hits.

I have opened fic, decided to “Mark For Later” so I can open it again and read it when I’m in the right mood, or when I have time to devote to it, or whatever. I have A LOT of fic Marked For Later. Still, opening it to mark it and add it to my list generates a hit. It’ll generate another hit when I do eventually go back and read it. Possibly generating another hit when I open it yet again trying to remember if I’ve read it... 

Or the worst-- I’ve had the thing open in a tab for two weeks hoping to find the time to read it, and every time Chrome refreshes the page (because Chrome does that) it generates a new hit... I kinda feel guilty about that...

Hits are ultimately meaningless.

Kudos at least have SOME meaning. A unique reader read the entire thing, got all the way to the end, and felt good enough about reading it to hit what essentially amounts to the THANK YOU NICE WRITER PERSON button.

Some people are willing to spend a little more time writing a comment. Anything from a “Thank you for writing this” to “Oh gosh I love this story, and xyz was my favorite!” all the way to leaving a running commentary on every chapter or a five paragraph book review at the end. Or heck, just an incoherent keysmash with a bunch of exclamation points.

Or one of my personal favorites, “I just read this again and can’t leave more kudos, so have this

I don’t understand the resistance to clicking the kudos button if you read the entire story and derived any enjoyment from it whatsoever. If you’re embarrassed about it, you can always log out of AO3 and leave kudos anonymously. No one will ever know it was you. :P

But I’ve had people ask me this before, wondering why they should even BOTHER hitting Kudos, and it’s like... you read this entire story, for the low low cost of zero dollars, and can’t be fussed to even click the Instant Thank You Button? That’s... shocking and frustrating as a writer. Some of my longer fic may have taken me HUNDREDS of hours to write, edit, etc. And it doesn’t merit half a second of time to click a button. I mean, sure, Dean’s Days Off is kinda short compared to some of my other work, but it still represents about 80 hours of my life. I spent about 80 hours working on that story. I spent several hundred hours working on Revenge of the Subtext. And even more than that working on Around the World in 24 Days. That’s a lot of hours. Can I get half a second of your time as an acknowledgement that it was worth it?

If I make it to the end of a story of any length, that’s automatically kudos. Job well done, Writer Person. You have suitably entertained me.

I admit that I am still personally weirded out by leaving comments, but I do try and force myself to, especially if it’s a longer work. I get this OH GOSH PLEASE DON’T LOOK AT ME BUT YOU HAVE GIVEN ME FEEEEELINGS mentality about leaving comments. I turn into Dean Winchester and clam up. I TOTALLY GET THAT REACTION to leaving comments. That’s why the kudos button exists in the first place. No embarrassment required. Just a Thank You that writers can acknowledge in a measurable way. Unlike hits, which honestly we have no idea how many of them even read past the introduction let alone the entire story.

I wish there were some more accurate metric for calculating just how well received our works are, but really this is all we have. We don’t have bestseller lists. Our readers don’t have to pay for our work. Leaving kudos or liking our tumblr posts is great, and lets us know at least our followers appreciate what we’ve written. Leaving comments is fantastic because we can share the joy, answer questions, reply to theories y’all have about our stories (heck nothing is better to me than having someone meta-analyze my writing! I LOVE THAT AND WOULD LOVE TO SQUEE WITH JOY AT YOU!). Reblogging our tumblr posts is like the ultimate recommendation. It says not only someone read and enjoyed what we wrote, but wants other people to find the thing too.That’s how we find new readers, especially if the post ends up tagged with stuff like, “OMG THIS WAS SO EXCELLENT!” or whatever. Damn near makes my week. :P

But if we post something, even if it gets tons of hits, if no one bothers to hit the kudos button at the end, it can very quickly start to feel like maybe nobody ever read all the way to the end, so why even bother...

I probably shouldn’t have turned this into an essay, but since that seems to be my trademark, I guess I’ll just go ahead and post it...