#i'll probably do some sort of follow forever when i get the chance! probably around grendoc's anniversary

[tewwor-moving]

🎰with my Axis, Basille, Li Hua, and Sebastian. + any other OC fantasy muse that you find appealing ^^.

SEND 🎰 FOR ME TO PUT OUR MUSES INTO A RANDOM LIST GENERATOR THEN POST THE FIRST FIVE AS POTENTIAL SHIPS! ( accepting )

axis & walter — .. first of all, i'd like to say i'm so sorry. second of all, i'd like to say good luck. i'll forever love to throw this crotchety idiot anywhere he doesn't want to be ( which is literally anywhere outside his motel ). he will throw a fit. he will threaten all sorts of things that he'll most likely follow up on. he will not tolerate any sass thrown back to him. but as i said, it's my bread and butter when it comes to walter. but! walt's been around for long ass time. never wants trouble, but trouble always seems to find him. somehow that means he not only ended up giving a ton of favors, but there's a few he owes as well. axis could be on either side of that, but either way — walt'll be pissed about it.

basille & beatrice — oh c'mon now. two aquatic adjacent beings randomized? i'd say that beatrice could've met him in the water ( wherever that is ), but she's rather flimsy with a tail. kind of the opposite of when basille's on land, she spends the majority of her time with two stick legs. she'd definitely be interested in any stories / just the way of life below the surface, though. never got any of that from her mother growing up. plus, it might even influence a song or two!

li hua & danny — all i got is that they have vastly different backgrounds. but if she wants some wilderness and/or freedom, danny will always instigate / support that. could even set their encounter back when he was a seafaring pirate and wasn't tied down to a pub

sebastian & oryn — .... well at least oryn doesn't hunt dragons? i mean, sometimes he'll take on the occasional miscellaneous supernatural creature, but he loathes stepping outside of his expertise ( aka demons ). that being said, he's not the nicest hunter out there. even if he won't fuck with killing dragons. although, he's known to offer some place to crash at when safety's needed ( it will come with 1000 angry words though ). this also means there's a very high chance sebastian will come by his two pseduo adopted folks, adela & her weird knife, suhyeon.

fergus & jie — honestly, jie's probably mistaken for a werewolf a lot. he's got all the characteristics of one and technically turns into a big ol' wolf adjacent... thing. except he's not really tied to the full moon via forced shifting. although, he does tend to get more agitated during that time and can still show a lot of similar traits. what i'm saying is the plot of being hunted by mistake is out there for grabs. other than that, could do the 'we're both hunting the same thing' or 'oh no, we have to work together on the same job', etc.

[blazehedgehog]

Hello, I have a strange question to ask

I've been having some existential crisis about my understanding of art, but mostly when it comes to Sonic

I'd like to belive that there's no valid answer or approach to enjoying something that speaks to you and partaking in it no matter what, if folks have a better time relating to the musical side of the series and not many other aspects of it, that's fine, like a different era and aesthetic, no problem and I'll encourage it in practice. And I find telling someone "you have low/high standards" offensive honestly, it's way too assumptious.

But I'd be lying if the sea of criticism and hot tales online doesn't get to me, making me question maybe I'm wrong, maybe some opinions are more valuable than others. Like I know my preferences, but what if it all comes from ignorance, or me being lenient on others experiences is some sort of creative failure. Maybe the people who want their specific vision of what they love are onto something and are owed that, even tho it would put folks at even more odds.

I find it very disturbing, the idea of an absolute truth and aiming to find it is very comforting but I just hate the idea as well. It would mean disregarding voices that never had the chance to be heard, perspectives and experiences that don't fit within a coherent vision.

Like I'm from a country that was sanctioned to hell and my first language isn't English nor japanese so Sonic was never accessible for me, so I'm inherently biased against someone telling me something I enjoy is not for me.

A bit of followup to that ask: What I'm trying to say is that while I want to support artistic integrity and respect authorial intent, I just the idea of art being treated like a religion and words of artists (and in sonic's case forgotten manuals sometimes lol) to be treated like holy scripture with a specific "vision" or "direction" everyone should follow Also sorry for lengthy ask

This is definitely a hefty subject to be sure.

I spent 12 years as a paid critic. I wasn't paid very much, and the site wasn't very big, but I still took the job seriously enough that I developed a sense that at some point, you just have to plant your feet and establish your own opinion. You can't walk on eggshells around everyone forever. Battle lines have to be drawn for you to be who you are.

Avoiding conflict with strangers is one thing. But you have to express yourself, your intents, and your feelings at some point. By its very nature, that means you are going to be dismissing someone, somewhere. I don't think that can be avoided. Somebody out there will love the thing you hate, and that WILL generate a conflict.

What really and truly matters is how you are prepared for and handle that conflict. Not every disagreement has to be thermonuclear warfare. And sometimes you might want to defuse, and the other person doesn't. To me, that's just part of life. Have opinion, will argue.

I realize this is easier said than done, but if this kind of stuff bothers you, then... don't let it. It's the internet. If something is bothering you, it's easy to get away from it. Nobody is making you remain in the same argument for days or even weeks on end. Maybe this is just something that comes as you get older, but at some point I realized I valued my time more than just yelling at other people online all the time.

So I... stopped doing that. I put my thoughts out in to the world through places like this blog or my Youtube channel, and if people have a problem with the way I express my opinions, I try to express them better. I don't attack back, I just try to identify what they aren't understanding. Rarely does it start arguments anymore. Does it mean my opinions are right? Probably not. Not entirely, anyway. What even is right and wrong in this context? It's all just perspective.

And once you realize that, the idea of drawing a line in the sand, planting your feet and expressing your opinion, all the arguments and disagreements it may generate just become different perspectives. It doesn't mean you're wrong, it doesn't mean they're wrong, because nobody is wrong. It's all just from where you're looking at the thing from.

Given that we're just talking about Sonic the Hedgehog, and there are no guns, or knives, or real violence happening, ultimately you have to realize: who cares? Find your own happiness. This isn't the fate of the world. It's a cartoon hedgehog. And though you may have started an argument today, the sun will still rise tomorrow. Free yourself and enjoy it.

[hisband]

   your girl’s been really busy with homework ( as per usual ) but as of november 2nd it’s been officially 2 WHOLE YEARS since i started writing this bad boy !!! who woulda thunk?

[poguestvff]

Used To The Cold — S. Cameron

In which Sarah Cameron comes to a realization after her girlfriend moves across the country.

taglist | main masterlist | 2.0k words

warning(s): none, fluff, i heart sarah <33

Have you ever lost something that held either so many memories or brought a sort of happiness that just warmed you immediately even at the sight of it? Most people have something like that. Such as for children when it comes to losing stuffed animals or action figures that were a source of comfort, they missed it like hell. Said children grow up and look for a new source of comfort. Some teenagers found it in weed and alchohol, others in sports. For Sarah Cameron, she grew out of the beautiful pink blanket her father had gotten her as a toddler. As she grew into a teenager, she found a new solace.

Her girlfriend.

Sarah made it very apparent to show her love to her girlfriend who, at one point, was just her best friend who she could hardly even bare to be away from. Sarah had known she'd loved Y/n before they even got together by the way Sarah had never felt claustrophobic in the friendship that she held with the other girl. She said the three words within the first six months of being with her, words she had never spoken to another being other than her family. It was a word she, personally, took seriously. For her to say it to Y/n showed the amount of trust she held within her. Trust to not feel so closed off with Y/n.

At the beginning of the relationship, Sarah was glad that not much had changed between the two of them. That Y/n let her have her space whenever she needed it without the dependent need to be together all day though it quickly became backwards. Sarah grew even more clingy to Y/n, hardly able to deal without her hands being stuck to her girlfriend like glue. Whenever they went out to lunch, Sarah played a one sided game of footsies that only brought a smile upon Y/n’s features, one of Sarah’s favorite traits about her. Sarah loved the idea of always having a person to call her own, Y/n seeming to be the one person who could bring out her newfound touchiness. Though, sometimes she pondered on whether Y/n herself was even handling it or if she just ‘put up’ with it. If she did have an indifference towards Sarah’s actions, she surely never showed her disinterest in it.

Though the last time Sarah had held on to her girlfriend felt soul crushing and gut wrenching. As the two of them stood on the creaky, wooden dock just before the ferry, Sarah felt drained. Between the amount of crying she’d done in just the past few days had been enough to make her want to sleep forever and the comfort of her girlfriends arms around her hadn’t helped that feeling. Tears held a steady stream down both of their faces though Sarah was the one who was unable to contain her sobs. People passed around them, solemn looks given to the two of them as they listened in on the sniffles and soft wails.

Y/n didn’t need to be a genius to understand that this was twice as hard for Sarah as it would be for her. Y/n was leaving, miles away that Sarah couldn’t even pin on when the next time she’d being able to hold on to her would be. All she knew was that this embrace that Y/n held on her would be the last one for months and there wasn’t a thing that would be able to make up for it between now and then.

It evoked an indescribable sort of fear within Sarah but she knew it was immutable. If Sarah could, she'd even drop her whole life within Outer Banks to follow her girlfriend across the world. There wasn't much Sarah wouldn't do and there wasn't much Y/n wouldn't do for Sarah either, including the moving date having already been pushed back a month because of Y/n's several arguments with her parents.

"I don't want you to go." sarah whispered as y/n kissed her neck. She could hear the blonde's pained and wavering voice, how affected she already was even as Y/n hadn't even stood on the boat yet.

"I know, lover." the y/h/c girl spoke in a low tone, only sarah able to hear her words of affirmation. Y/n was first to pull back, placing her hands on Sarah's cheeks. The sight of Sarah with puffy eyes and a quivering lip made y/n's heart throb and a guilty feeling blanket over her like a raising tide. "i'll visit. Every chance I get, you know I will."

"It won't be the same." she lamented. Y/n placed her lips against Sarah’s, delicately as if the blonde were made of porcelain. When Y/n's parents had called for her and Ward and Rose had called Sarah away from the dock, Sarah only seemed to want to cling further, fingers pressing further into the thin jacket Y/n worse, but their time had finally run out. Even after weeks of pretending that they had all the time in the world, like nothing could pull the two of them apart, it had happened.

The first few weeks, the whole Cameron house had known Sarah spent most of her nights crying herself to sleep and the entire Y/l/n house knew Y/n was not going to be speaking to them for a little while due to their newest decision. Both groups of parents hadn't known that pulling the duo away from one another would become such a quagmire for each of them.

When Y/n did finally decide to talk to her parents, it was usually to say she was leaving to explore the area in which she refused to get to know the first few days. With a driver license, it gave her just a bit of freedom from her parents who's impromptu decisions had still caused for a tearing in their familial relationship.

Y/n sat in her parked car, a hot beverage in hand to adjust to the cold in which she'd just stood in for five minutes. All of it for a drink that wasn't even that good in her opinion but she dealt with it. With the hand not holding the steaming drink, she opened her phone, smiling immediately at the photo of her and sarah as her background. She unlocked it, scrolling around to find Sarah's contact and setting her phone up against the dashboard. While it began to ring, Y/n situated herself to begin to drive. "Hi, Y/n/n!" Sarah shouted excitedly the second she'd answered.

At her tone of voice did Y/n laugh. The enthusiasm was no surprise but it was funny to Y/n every time. "Hi, baby." She replied, fhe smile remaining on her face as she looked towards the screen. Sarah sat at her desk, her hands under her jaw though a pencil between her fingers. She had focused all of her attention from the papers in front of her to the driver on the other end of the phone. "What are you doing?"

The sound of whizzing paper had made Y/n glance to the phone seeing a math sheet now replacing Sarah's face before she placed it back down, a frown appearing on her features. "Math."

"Didn't you just start like two days ago?" Y/n asked, taking a sip from her drink.

"Yes and this teacher is an absolute bitch. You're just lucky you don't start for another week. You would hate Mr. Henley."

Y/n let out an awfully dramatic gasp. "Um, hello, Mr. Henley was literally my home room teacher last year, I'll have you know. Show some respect." She said, almost missing Sarah's chagrined look as she smiled.

"You're supposed to be on my side here."

"Sorry, i don't believe in biases, Sar." She joked for sarah to let out a small snicker.

"So tell me, how's minnesota?" Sarah asked, trying to spark up a conversation even if the distance was the same thing she wanted to keep her mind off of.

"Oh, it's so great. So many hot people." she remarked.

"You're not funny, no one has ever found you funny." Sarah replied though unable to hold in her laugh along with her girlfriend. "I'm serious. we haven't talked much about it and i don't want to like... avoid your new life now."

Y/n sighed, looking towards the phone to see Sarah looking back down at her work in front of her. "Fine. Well, it doesn't particularly suck. The no surfing part definitely does, though, but what can you do. And the coffee here... no, its just so bad, babe. granted, i only had one, and it's in my cup holder right now but it's gross."

"My coffee making is better, right?" Sarah asked as Y/n gave a hefty nod.

"So much better, even if it is the only thing you're good at making." Y/n laughed and Sarah attempted to refuse a smile, her cheeks quivering from trying to keep it down. "But the weather dropped today, randomly. It was seventy yesterday, fifty today but i think i'm getting used to the cold."

Sarah lifted her head back to the phone, watching Y/n focus on driving, her eyes diverting on places away from the screen. Sarah but at her inner cheek, drumming her fingers against the white wood that rested under her forearms. "Used to it?" Sarah asked. She knew Y/n's move was permanent at least until she was eighteen but something about those words made it seem more realistic. She was getting used to a place that wasn't home.

Y/n hummed. "Yeah, i'm probably being dramatic. I saw a guy walking around in a tank top and shorts while i'm wearing double pair of socks right now." she grinned at her own comment though picking up on Sarah's sudden discomfort when she replied with a small 'wow'. "Lover?"

"Yeah?"

"What's going on?" Y/n asked, the car slowing to a stop at a red light.

Sarah quickly shook her head. "No, it's nothing. Just... the work. Keep your eye on the road."

"Sarah." The blond recognized the tone of voice quickly.

"Just... I just fully realized how permanent this is. I won't see you until, what? December? That's a long time, Y/n! And, i get it, it's your home now and i can't do anything about it but—"

Y/n was quick to cut her off. "I never said this is home. Sure I live here but it's just a couple walls and a roof. It's not home, Sarah." Y/n began. "Home is you. And trust me, i've been missing home the second i got on that ferry."

Despite them having to look at one another through a glass screen the feeling—the connection between the two of them was still felt. Sarah could feel the normal warm feeling she would've gotten whenever Y/n would simply hold her hand or brush her hair over her ear. she held that much of an effect on Sarah in person and somehow even thousands of miles away.

Sarah hadn't even realized she had been staring for a total of twenty seconds until a singular tear fell down her blushing cheeks. she quickly sniffled, recomposing herself as she wiped it away. "Are you seriously making me cry right now?" She muttered with the way the atmosphere had become though relishing in the way Y/n laughed in response.

"Yes, thank you for ignoring everything i just said, lover." Y/n put the car back in drive as the light went green. Due to the steets being relatively empty in her new small town, she took the time to look back over at the phone to Sarah. "I love you."

Sarah's smile widened in thag very moment, pursing her lips before pushing them out. "I love you more."

"And don't worry. I won't get to used to it. I'll be back home, to you, before you even know it." Y/n took a small glance to the phone, enjoying Sarah's gaze that showed even with the distance put between the two of them, they'd be fine.

[joshstambourine]

A Seconds Glance

"Hi I have a request for either Josh or Jake 💛 can I get a story where they see a girl, either at school or they can already be famous in this, and is instantly enamored. I don't know if you've seen The Virgin Suicides, but if you have then something similar to when Trip sees Lux for the first time. I'm interested in how those two would go about getting a girl's attention when they have a crush.💕💕💕" - Anonymous

//Hi Doll! I can’t say I have seen that--- but I will try my best to write something that I feel matches the idea you had. 

I’m gonna be repeating this forever--- but again, I’m so sorry it took me so long to get this request out for you! I decided to go with Josh being in school for this one.//

Warnings: Cursing, awkward beans

Word Count: 1969

Synopsis: Josh had never really believed in love at first sight... but yet....

Josh Kiszka x Fem!Reader

The first day of sophomore year. For most this was just the start of another school year; a sudden reminder that a new binder or fun pencil case is exciting for all of 10 minutes when it comes to actual classes and work. But for Josh… this year felt like it was filled with possibilities. It sounds like some sort of stupid thing you'd see on a motivational calendar, but it really truly did.

Josh hadn't imagined for a second that he actually would have a chance in making music his career; and yet, he had spent all summer with his band mates playing for different occasions and pubs. All the while they were working, working hard on writing songs that they could be proud to play for others.

All of that said, Josh was returning to high-school this year with a new found amount of confidence and excitement; it showed in every step Josh took. His one hand held loosely on to the arm of his backpack, walking in time with Jake.

"But what do you think? Would it look good on me?" Jake inquired, fingers lightly playing with the mid-length pieces of hair on his head.

"I mean… I don't know…" Josh lightly starts, glancing at his twin and begins to take a good long look at him.

Jake's eyes widened just a touch, his expression becoming one that said, 'Well…?'

"Uh… honestly I don't really know Jake. I've never seen you with anything else than this." Josh admits, then snickers a little, "Except for that one time when we decided it'd be fun to take those scissors and---"

"No, that's fine, I didn't need to think about that." Jake immediately stopped him, his hand going to take a full dive into his mess of dark brown hair. 

"Cmon, it was really funny though. Ma really lost her shit when she saw your head like that." Josh continued to muse, hands folding into his pockets with the utmost of ease. 

Jake shook his head in a mournful way, "I can say I will never go back to a buzz-cut again… not without a fight."

Josh's smile never faltered, it was his laughter that changed, softening into a bit of a sigh as they reached the double doors at the front of the school. With a swing of the doors they both were making their way down the hallway to their lockers.

"Meet by Mr.Shapiro's class before lunch?" Jake questioned, to which Josh nodded. No matter which school the twins went to the teachers seemed to know that the best course of action was to keep them separated. That said Josh and Jake always had separate homerooms at least, through most of their time in school.

"See ya in a bit." Josh waved, taking a few steps back before turning on his heels and heading to his own locker.

Josh's excitement to be back in class showed on his face more than he probably would have wanted. A few pencils in his hand along with a binder filled with blank paper and tucked away dividers.  

As soon as Josh stepped into the class room his eyes were met with many familiar faces. Some of these people he had been in school with since kindergarten; like Meg, a rather tall blunt faced girl with long kinky black hair. She simply threw a peace sign Josh's way as he stepped through the doors; he eagerly returned it, bringing a small smile to Meg's lips. 

With some brisk steps Josh moved to place himself at the back of the classroom, just behind Meg. He threw his things on his desk without much thought. Despite there being a good number of kids he knew... there seemed to be equally just as many new kids. 

Leaning on his desk Josh moved closer to Meg, "Where the hell did these guys come from?" 

Meg's brow lifted as she leaned back a little, "Know the high-school on the east side?" 

"The one where you can get crack for super cheap?" Josh inquired, 

Meg's head bobbed, "They closed it down, so now we get half the kids that went there." She explains with her head resting on her hand in a bored way. 

"Oh shit really? That's a lot of kids---" Josh was quick to respond, glancing around the room. 

"Oh yeah... way too many in my personal opinion --- not that anyone cares." Meg mutters, beginning to click her mechanical pencil. 

Josh's eyes were still taking in all the new faces as he started to respond, "Wow aren't we positive today." 

Meg sighed, "Eh.... I'm just not excited, Justin and I broke up over the summer and I'll have to see him in history." She began to explain, "Things are just really tense, yknow?" 

She waited a moment for him to give some comforting... but still idiotic response, however none came. It finally got Meg to turn and look at him, as she did she immediately noticed that Josh's eyes had widened just a touch, cheeks dusted a light pink. 

Meg followed the line of his eyes to a beautiful young woman. The expression he wore was more than enough to tell Meg that she should move. 

Josh was so busy just... taking the new girl in that he didn't even notice Meg slip to the free desk to the side of the one she was previously sat in. Josh just couldn't put his finger on it, there was something... something so breathtaking about her. Was it her eyes? Or maybe how her hair fell around her face? He couldn't be sure. What he was absolutely sure of was that he had never had a moment in his life where he could hear music just by looking at someone. 

"Hey... do you know if this desk is free?" A new voice shook Josh. It was her. She was standing at a desk to his left with a bit of an awkward air. 

He was just so shaken. What did she say again? Something about a desk? Josh's lips parted, "Uh--- I uh, what did you--?" 

"No that one isn't open, but the one just in front of my dude Josh is, right Josh?" Meg interrupted, pointing to the desk ahead of him. 

"Oh y-yeah, that one's open! Definitely 100% open! It couldn't be more open even if it tried!" Josh started spouting, he really wasn't even aware that his mouth had moved, and that was clear in the fact that it just kept moving when she had come to sit down. "Do you need any pencils at all?? I have like 20!" He continued, though his hand held one full sized pencil and one shorter than the average person's pinkie... both chewed on. "I mean not on me but--- who needs a pencil right?" 

The girl laughed a little awkwardly, her gaze moving from Josh to Meg and then to the desk. "No, no I'm okay thank you though." She slipped into the chair, keeping her gaze frontwards. 

Meg looks to Josh with a shocked look, 'What was that??' She mouthed, 

Josh responded with an absolutely mortified expression. He would never say he was the smoothest guy on the planet, but he had never been that awkward in his life. 

Meg shook her head before reaching out to tap the girl's shoulder, "I'm Meg!" She introduces, "And that goober is Josh." 

The girl lightly moved to glance over her shoulder at Josh in a shy way. "It's nice to meet you both. I'm (Y/N)." She hummed with a sweet smile. 

"That's a pretty name, isn't it Josh??" Meg quickly said, trying to get him to continue the conversation in a less awkward way.

Josh nodded very enthusiastically, "The prettiest name I've heard in a long time!" He said with a smile, 

(Y/N)'s cheeks began to hold a flush of their own. "Oh! Uh... th-thank you!" She sputtered out. 

'OH FUCK. She's so cute.' Josh thought to himself, Adam's apple bobbing in his throat with a shaky swallow. 

Little did Josh know that (Y/N) was thinking something very similar. She might not make it as obvious as he was, but being so much closer now... being able to see the warmth in his brown eyes, seeing how his wavy brown hair came to cup his cheeks --- she couldn't help but continue to stare back at him. 

The only thing that could pull them both out of the little trance they had fallen into was the bell. Both of them quickly looked toward it, followed by a man's voice at the front of the class. 

"Alright everyone, take your seats!" 

(Y/N) was reluctant but she turned herself to look toward the front of the class. A little bit nervous, but mustering an ounce of courage she tore a piece of paper from her notebook quietly and began to scribble something down. 

Josh hardly got anything out of that language arts class, he was way too busy trying to figure out what excuse he could make to talk with (Y/N) again. He was just rattling through every little conversation starter he had ever heard in his life... but none of them felt like they would work. 

Before long the bell had rung overhead once more and everyone was shuffling to grab their things and head to all of their next classes. 

Biting his lip, Josh was determined to catch (Y/N) before she could head off to her own next class. Luckily for him she had a similar idea. Both turning to each other as they stepped out of the classroom, it was painfully quiet at first. It seemed as if they were trying to get their thoughts together really. 

Finally they spoke, 

"Hey would you---" "I was wondering if you'd---" 

At once. 

A small awkward laugh left their lips, "Please, go ahead I was going to say something dumb---" Josh quickly said moving to rub the back of his neck. 

(Y/N)'s lips parted as she let out and unsure chuckle, eyes moving downwards for a moment. "I was just going to ask if you would mind if I joined you for lunch? I just am new and don't really have any---" 

"Yes!" Josh quickly said, "Yes absolutely. You didn't even have to ask, you could have just showed up if you wanted to!" He quickly says to her. 

The speed he seemed to talk at entertained (Y/N) a heck of a lot. A smile creeping across her face, "Okay! Thank you!" She responded. 

"Do you know where the cafeteria is? I can show ya if you want??" Josh quickly continued, "I mean I'm sure you could find it on you're own, you seem very smart and capable. Most women are to be honest; I remember reading an article about how men need to---" 

"That would be really great actually." (Y/N) smiled in a gentle way. 'He's even more nervous than I am.' She thought to herself. 

"Oh-oh! Okay cool! Uh, do you know where Mr.Shapiro's class is?" He asks, 

(Y/N) seemed to think for a minute, "113... right? I have him for chemistry this afternoon I think." She mutters. 

Josh swiftly nods his head, "That's the one!! Meet me there okay?" He says. 

(Y/N) nodded back, understanding the little plan they now had. "I'll see you in a little bit then?" She lightly asks. 

"Yeah absolutely." Josh began to grin, suddenly beyond excited. Even as she began to walk off to her class all he could think about was how sure he was now that this year was going to be fantastic. 

That was until a warning bell played overhead, "Oh shit--" Josh jumped in shock, immediately beginning to run to his next class.

//That's all for now lovely! I do actually have an idea on how to continue this one if anyone would like! Pretty please let me know in the comments if that's something you guys would like 💜//

[differentkettleoffishalltogether]

I’m On Fire [Chapter 1]

Summary: With her sister’s wedding fast approaching and her Mom hounding her about finding a date, Y/N makes a terrible decision that lands her and her least favorite genius in a confusing situation.

A/N:  This is the first part in a series, I’ve written the first few chapters already so I’m hoping to update pretty regularly! I hope you guys enjoy, and any feedback is always appreciated! ❤️

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem Reader

Category: Fake Dating, Enemies to Lovers, (Eventual) Smut, Fluff, Angst, it’s a Slow Burn Baby

Warnings: None really for this chapter, cursing? Mean-ish Spencer

Word Count: 6.5k

Next Chapter

Series Masterlist

Masterlist 

I wasn’t at the BAU long before it started to feel like home. The team became my family, pure and simple.

Having been recruited by Hotch at only 22 I'd sort of fallen into the roll of the little sister to the team without really meaning to. It's not that I was naive, or particularly sheltered even. I know I'm good at my job, and I'd want to be, given how my life's revolved around it almost entirely. But the team seemed to adopt a protective mindset over me right off the bat.

When I first joined the FBI everything was terrifying. I worked so hard for my PhD, trying to get into the unit, but there's almost nothing that can actually prepare you for the real thing. Being out in action in the field, working the cases out in real time. Sometimes they had a smooth, easy conclusion followed by loud obnoxious drinks together. Then there were the others, the ones that kept me up for days after and felt as though they owned little pieces of my heart still.

It was JJ that helped the most on those horrible flights back on the jet. Noticing my anxious ticks and uneasy disposition after that first case that had ended badly. JJ had been through it all before, taking too many cases home with her. Seeing her son's little faces in the kids that we couldn't help. If I was the baby of the team JJ was the big sister, looking out for everyone.

Morgan on the other hand was the outrageously cool older brother, the one you just wanted to be. Early on he'd helped my weak self with the ruthless fitness regimen the FBI required, he offered to pull some strings and get the test written off. But I couldn't accept that, there was something in me that just wanted to impress Morgan, and honestly still does. Like somehow if he thought you were cool, then it became true. So I passed the exam, but getting up a flight of stairs was near impossible for a week after.

Emily was probably the fun aunt. The one that would sneak you booze at the family gathering, or take you to your first concert. Emily was actually the one who'd found me, digging around colleges for potential recruits she'd had me picked out for a while I later found out. Insisting that Hotch give me a shot. It was reassuring to know I had someone who would stick up for me from day one.

I was an tech analyst, among other things, sort of a counterpart for Garcia in the field. So it was no surprise to anyone when the two of us hit it off as though we'd known each other forever. We weren't the same by any means though. Penelope was bold, and bright, and confident beyond measure, where I've typically felt like more of a blend into the background type. I've always thought of myself that way, despite my achievements. I'd also always believed I was fairly inoffensive, no one I'd met had ever had a huge problem with me, 'till I got to the BAU that is.

Every rose has its thorn I suppose.

That thorn in my side was Dr. Spencer Reid.

It wasn't that Dr. Reid was a bad agent, or even a bad person. I hadn't actually met him before that first day in the conference room, but I'd known who he was for a long time. Before I came along he'd held the mantle of 'youngest ever recruit' in the unit, while I was studying I'd read any of his work I could get my hands on because of that fact.

I figured it must've been some sort of hazing when he looked me up and down that first day I was introduced, and then proceeded to blank me entirely for a full week. Up until I'd wrapped my first case.

The whole team went straight from the jet to the bar. Proceeding to get far too drunk. Spencer joined, which the rest of the team found unusual, and I probably should've taken as a sign of things to come.

That case went well, and everyone was in high spirits but Reid had a sour disposition, at least it seemed that way every time he looked at me. After a few too many drinks I went outside in an attempt to sober up in the cold air, unfortunately Reid must've snuck outside not long before.

"Ugh" was all he said when he first caught my silhouette approaching him. The night was unusually cold so it had been deserted outside the bar that evening. I wasn't really sure why it made me nervous to be alone with him like this, the two of us leaning back against the same small area of brick wall, looking out at the cold night.

"Nice to see you too doctor" was all I could muster, I was drunk enough that I let my sarcastic tone leap out, "you can relax, I'm just trying to get some fresh air, it's too stuffy in there, and loud. I'm not here to talk to you or anything."

"Well aren't you a sensitive thing" he responds in kind, at that point I wasn't really sure if it was a coincidence or if he'd been genuinely avoiding me, but things were starting to clear up.

"I'm sensitive, that's a fun take on things" I joke, taking a long sip of cold water from my glass.

"And what's that supposed to mean, newbie?" his emphasis on the last word all but confirms my suspicions.

"Fuck man, what's your problem with me? Is it because I'm new, or because I beat your stupid record?" I quip. hoping that at the very least it might coax him out of his shell. Dr. Spencer Reid getting angry at me could honestly be better than the nothing I'd been experiencing from him until now.

"What stupid record?" he sounds genuinely confused

"I'm the youngest BAU recruit now?" I didn't know why else he could be so sour. He'd never met me before last week, and since he'd ignored me that first day I'd done all I could not to step on his toes. So if he had a reason to hate me this much, it wasn't something I'd done on purpose.

He takes a few moments to respond, raising his eyebrows and considering the information. He chuckles. He fucking chuckles.

"That's funny." he says, his voice leveling out, "I didn't peg you as funny newbie" that word sets something off in me again. Something about it is dismissive, or belittling. Before I could fight back he starts to move, maneuvering around me and heading back inside. A little too tipsy to think of anything constructive to say, I just mutter "Fuck you Spencer."

He swings open the door, as he walks inside he just says "See you Monday, Newbie" without even looking at me.

And that was only the beginning.

----

"You know I'm just trying to make sure you get enough rest sweetheart. There's no need to get so defensive!" it was far too early in the morning to be dealing with this call. Since joining the BAU a few years ago this was a standard call from my Mom. Equal parts well meaning and over-bearing, and generally asking far too many questions.

"I'm not getting defensive Mom, I get plenty of rest, my job is just very important to me and you know that." I knew she was right to be at least a little worried, this job was consuming, and in all honesty I wasn't sure how people like JJ were married and still here. It seemed like an impossible feat.

"Fine sweetie, how are your co-workers doing then? How's Penelope? Give her my love" she loved Penelope, I think she thought that Penelope tethered me to the normal world, and in a way she was right. She kept me sane, and fun, and made me eat pizza and do face masks once a week at least. Even when I didn't think I wanted to.

"Pen's great Mom, everyone's good. Well, the usual ones get on my nerves, but I'm fine." As I say it I glance across at Dr. Reid, the only person who's also in as early as I am most days. I'm not sure if he can hear me but he's tapping his pen so loud on his desk that it takes all of my energy not to walk across the bullpen and stab him with it.

"Y'know what Mom, I'm actually just after getting to work and it's a busy day so can I call you back later?" I chance, getting her off the phone is always an ordeal.

"Fine, fine, I'll let you go. But wait one last thing!"

I knew what was coming. It was always coming.

"Are you seeing anyone, Margot's been wondering too, just thought I'd check in?"

Pinching the bridge of my nose and trying not to scream down the line, I just sigh out the frustration instead.

"No Mom, believe it or not, I've made no progress on that front since you asked me all of 3 days ago."

"See you are being defensive!" she snaps

"I gotta go, bye Mom. Love you!" I say, hanging up quickly before dropping my head down into my arms on my desk, resting like that for a few moments in silence.

Hearing Garica chuckle behind my ear I perk up and spin around. She's holding a small paper cup of coffee and hands it to me. I look at it confused, "Sorry about the paper, I couldn't find your mug in the cabinet" she apologizes, looking over at Dr. Reid and rolling her eyes. Now I know he can hear me from his seat, he takes that moment to sip from my mug and place it gently back on his desk.

It hadn't taken long for him to start toying with me. It was always stupid childish things. Things I couldn't get genuinely annoyed at, that would give him far too much satisfaction, knowing he was getting to me in any real way. This was one trick he liked to play if he got into the office before me, he'd take my mug and make his coffee in it, just to spite me I guess.

"Why does he even do that, it's so stale" she said, just a little louder than normal to make sure he could hear. Garcia and Reid were still good friends and team-mates but she liked to stand up for me when she could. He liked to avoid me as much as possible so he'd usually go to Garcia before me if he needed help with something. Even when the two of us were out in the field together. Which was obnoxious but it was just another thing I'd gotten used to over time. And as long as it didn’t interfere with the case I just forced myself to let it go.

"I know it's such low grade bullying isn't it?" I shot back with a chuckle.

"So I'll take it that was Mommy dearest" Penelope gestures to my phone. She knew my Mom, and she knew about her general overbearing energy. I let out a groan thinking about the call again, and the calls that were to come.

"Isn't it always Mommy dearest?" I joke

"So she's still on your ass about the wedding then?" I'm sure Penelope was almost as sick of hearing about it as I was,

"Margot's getting married in like 4 months now, and every time Mom calls there’s just some new hometown loser she wants to set me up with Pen. It's fucking exhausting" I take a sip of the coffee she made me, savoring the bitter taste. She sits down on my desk for a moment, leaning in.

"Honey, did you ever think that if you got out there and found someone, she wouldn't be on your ass at all?" I don't want to think about that, about how she's completely right. All I can do is let out another small groan and lean back down onto my desk.

"Too early Pen" I say, it's muffled by the desk but she gets the message. Hopping up and heading to her own office as some more people start to arrive for the morning.

Leaving me alone to make a start on my paperwork that had built up throughout the week. Fridays were usually slow like this, giving me a little too much time to think. I couldn't shake the thought that my Mom and Penelope were actually right. Maybe I was a bit too invested in the job, and maybe that was a pretty big factor in why my last relationship imploded but I wasn't about to admit that to anyone.

----

After that the day crawls by, thankfully no cases pop up so the weekend might actually be free. Trying to make sure I clear up all of my paperwork takes a little longer than I'd hoped and leaves me alone in the bullpen. It seems like everyone's gone home by the time I've packed up and I'm ready to leave. Which wasn't as out of the ordinary as I'd like it to be really. Everyone else seemed to have somewhere to be on a Friday night.

Waiting for the elevator to arrive my phone started to ring, I could see my Mom's caller ID on the screen. If I just let it go I know she'll call back later, may as well get it out of the way. I take a deep breath in anticipation before I answer.

"Hey what's up?" I answer, stepping inside the elevator as the doors ping open.

"Hi sweetie, I've got good news! Do you remember David? That lovely boy, he helped out your Father that summer in high school?" I know what's coming and rub my temple, trying to stifle the headache I know is coming. As I answer a hand slides between the elevator doors, popping them open again.

Dr. Fucking Reid walks in, and he looks about as happy to see me as I am to see him. I make eye contact and look away just as fast, willing him away with my mind. "Yes Mom, I remember him, why are you telling me this?" I already know the answer but I'm fed up, she still sounds excited when she responds.

"Well you won't believe it! I ran into him at the market this morning and I thought you'd like it if I passed on your phone number to him, maybe for the weddi-" it took all I had not to shout into the receiver, and maybe I would've had the elevator been empty.

"Mom! Jesus!" I have to reign myself in, but I have a bad idea, "You know what, I'm actually sorted. I've got a date lined up now" I'm not sure why I said it with no real plan in place. She sounds even more excited than I've ever heard her.

"Oh my, that's amazing sweetie! That was fast, I can't believe you found one since this morning, it's someone from work so?" she assumes, and I'm just not thinking fast enough to correct her.

"Mmhmm, yeah" I'll figure out the logistics later I rationalize.

"Oh! Is it that boy you're always on about, the one who teases you?" she asks, and her voice is full of joy, and it makes me feel horrible that I'm lying already, and that I'm going to let her down.

"Yup, that's the one, look Mom I gotta go, I'll talk to you later! Night" I blurt out so fast it has to be obvious I'm nervous.

I can hear a stifled chuckle behind me. Fuck. How loud is my phone speaker. Could he hear that. Surely not. But this elevator was completely silent. The doors open and I have to stop myself from running to my car at top speed. Instead I walk out just a little faster than normal, turning around to shoot him a small wave goodbye. And he's got this devious smirk on his face that makes my stomach turn.

Sitting into my car I pull out my phone to text Garcia immediately.

I'm on my way to yours right now. It's urgent.

——

Traffic's light so it takes maybe 10 minutes before I arrive at Garcia's place. My mind's racing and my body takes me there on autopilot. Why did I say any of that, why did I even answer the damn phone. Why did I wave goodbye to Spencer, I never usually did that. Maybe that's why he had that look on his face. Maybe he was just thinking of something funny that happened earlier and it had nothing to do with me at all. That was something he'd do to mess with me for sure.

How was I going to walk this back with my Mom, she was just gonna have more questions that I couldn't answer. Fuck.

Garcia buzzed me up and her door was open for me by the time I got up the stairs. This little purple apartment had become my second home. It was where I spent most of my evenings off, laughing on the same sofa I was collapsing face first into right now. Garcia nestles in beside me and runs her hand over my hair, "Hey sweet pea, what's happening? I don't want to sound too concerned but you're not giving me much to go off? Are you dying, is there drama? You're going to have to tell me what's so urgent before I burst a blood vessel?"

I let out a muffled, "is drahmuh" into the pillow, Garcia shakes my shoulders.

"Sit up babe, damn!" I have to heave myself out of the pillows, sitting upright on the sofa beside her, clutching one of the pillows in my arms.

"It's drama" I repeat,

"Well, out with it then, you know I'll take all the drama I can get! Spill, spill" she rushes me along. I'm already apprehensive, Reid's her coworker too, but if anyone would understand why this was such an issue it was gonna be her.

"Okay, I'm after doing something stupid and I think I really need your advice" I cringe already, thinking back to the elevator, throwing out my words faster, I continue the story, mostly trying to get it over with, "my Mom called again when I was on the way out tonight and she was trying to set me up with this guy, and Reid was there, and I got all flustered, and I told her I had a date already" I throw my head down into the pillow again.

"Wait why was Reid there?" she looks like she's trying to fit puzzle pieces together and she's getting nowhere, "And what's the drama?"

"Shit Garcia, it was in the elevator and it was all quiet, and maybe he heard the call, maybe he didn't but he had this fuckin' look on his stupid face" I can't shake the smug little smirk, it's burned inside my eyelids. Garcia's face falls in what looks like disappointment.

"Ugh Y/N! That's nothing chill out, why does it matter if he heard your call? I know you guys are all weird but none of that is any of his business anyway!" she shoo's her hand in the air, dismissing the whole situation.

"No Garcia, it is his business now" I have to close my eyes when I say it, I can't look at her "I told my Mom that he was my date, well, I didn't say his name or anything, she assumed it was someone from work and so I just agreed, and then she suggested that it was him and then I fucking panicked Pen, I fucked up so bad. What do I do?"

I finally opened my eyes to look up at Garcia. She was sitting in pure silence, pursing her lips in what seemed like contemplation. The puzzle pieces finally slotting together. It's as though a light bulb goes off behind her eyes and she bursts out in fits of laughter. Doubling over on herself before finally taking a few breaths to calm herself down. I'm honestly not sure why she finds the whole thing so funny, she know's how needlessly annoying he's made my life, she's seen it first hand and heard me talk about it over and over again in this very apartment over pizza.

"Garcia, this is not fucking funny! This is serious!" I try to calm her down, I need advice not whatever this is.

"I'm so sorry Y/N, I love you dearly. But this isn't funny, this is hilarious. It's like you're Sandra Bullock in some mid-90's rom com. I love it" I don't love it, in fact I hate it. I nearly snap at her but pull myself back.

"Pen, come on, help me out. What do I do with this, how do I fix it?" I plead.

She stops laughing and pulls out her phone, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'm going to order us a pizza, and we're gonna sort this thing out together, sound good?" I just nod and collapse back into the sofa. I think I feel better now that I've gotten it out in the open.

----

Penelope makes us tea while we wait for the pizza, she keeps lemon & ginger in her cabinet for me, just like I keep mint for her. The warm mug and the steam calm me down. After a few minutes alone to think about it I start to figure it out a little better. I figure I can just lie to my Mom for a while, it might suck but I can pretend for a bit and then make up some excuse as to why he can't come closer to the time. Then I can just bring Garcia instead and everyone's happy. I'm about to float my plan to her there's a knock on her door. I was so caught up that I hadn't really noticed quite how starving I'd gotten. Leaping up of the sofa to grab the door.

I swing it open but it's not the pizza guy. Somehow it's the opposite of the pizza guy, my worst nightmare is on the other side of the door. He must notice my eyes blow completely wide. "Y/N!" he says, more of a statement than a question really, like he's telling himself that he's actually seeing me in the doorway. I'm not as gentle.

"What the fuck are you doing here Reid?!" I can't even disguise my anger. He seems a little flustered, like he's got absolutely no idea how to proceed.

"Um, uh, is Garcia here? I can, um, I can just come back later?" he swallows hard and shakes his head, before I can agree and tell him to get lost Penelope races to the door, pulling it wide open.

"Nope, that won't be necessary Doctor! Come on in, you're right on time sweetheart" she waves him in and he walks past me, his demeanor changing almost instantly. He's smug, like he's won whatever battle this was. And I hate it. Though he's still as confused as me despite the newfound attitude. Reid sits down on the sofa, right where I had been sitting. I bite my tongue and sit on the opposite end.

"Are you okay Garcia?" he asks with a genuine concern, "What's going on, what was the emergency?". He's not stupid, he knows she's not in danger now that he's here. But he wants answers. I don't know that I've ever seen him this confrontational with anyone, well anyone but me. The entire time I’m staring her down as she sits in the armchair opposite the two of us. My keys are in my pocket and my car's right outside. I could just jump up and make a break for it. Escape.

"You know what Doc, you won't believe it but I'm not actually the one with the emergency" she takes a beat, and I'm starting to think that I might understand why people murder other people after all these years, "Y/N has something urgent she needs to talk to you about" she's silent for another moment, and she almost looks giddy, "Actually Spencer, you might already know a little something about the matter already, now that I think about it" she smirks, and it's pure joy.

My keys are in my hand ready to bolt when the doorbell chimes again. "Oh, that'll actually be the pizza this time, if you two will excuse me" she hops up out of the armchair and races to the door, leaving the two of us alone in a horrible silence. The tension is almost too much, I want to speak but I really have no idea what to say, or how to even start saying it. But he starts.

"Y/N what's going on, I feel like I'm out of the loop here? What am I missing?" he asks, and there's something uncharacteristically genuine about the way he says it, but he can't turn to look at me as he speaks. I almost want to let my guard down and just have a conversation but I can’t force myself to do it. "Shut up Reid." is all I mutter, folding my arms across my chest.

He turns sharply on the sofa to face me. "Hey Y/N. Believe it or not I'm about as happy as you with whatever kind of Parent Trap situation Garcia's got going on here. But from what I'm picking up on you've got a problem and I'm supposed to be able to help with it. So do you want to tell me what's going on or not? I can just go?" I can see that there's an anger bubbling right below the surface, threatening to burst. I know I shouldn't but I let him stew in silence for a little too long and he jumps up off the sofa.

"Y'know what, typical" he mutters, rolling his eyes as he says it, "this is all about you." he throws his bag over his shoulders and begins to walk towards the door. Something in me just snaps.

"All about me?! Are you fucking kidding? I've been tip-toeing around you for years, ever since I joined this damn unit!" I shout as Garcia comes back into the room, pizza box and plates in her hands.

"So, who's hungry?" Garcia asks, trying to break the tension, or pretending there's no tension at all. Reid shakes his head in disbelief and rubs his temple before he speaks again, "Actually I was just gonna head out" he gestures to the door, "I'm clearly not wanted here so I'm gonna leave you guys to it." Spencer makes a move to leave but Garcia grabs the strap of his shoulder bag, yanking him back ever so slightly before he really has the chance to escape.

"You are going absolutely nowhere kid" She points back to the sofa, "get back there" she glances to me, staring with far too much intensity. "You too, sit." Her voice is more stern than I've ever heard it, even while we were on a case. I can't help but obey her command and I sit back down on the sofa in silence. Followed by Reid, clearly processing the same uneasy feeling of a serious Penelope.

She sits opposite the two of us again. "Y/N, Spencer, I love the two of you with all of my heart, albeit separately, and I would die for either one of you. But you've got to chill the hell out!" she says it like she's had it bottled up forever. The tension that releases from her as she says it looks euphoric.

She opens up the pizza box and lays it on the coffee table and takes out a slice for herself. Taking a bite she leaves the two of us in stunned silence. Once she finishes the mouthful she turns to me specifically, "Y/N you tell him, or I will." dead serious. And the feeling in my belly is like I've just fallen down an elevator shaft.

My stomach is in knots as I turn to Spencer on the sofa next to me. His face is puzzled and I think I might be able to make out pure terror in his expression. I don't know that I've ever been looked at like this before and my stomach screws up tighter. I have to take a deep breath and I can't believe I'm about to say it. "Fuck it" I have to take another breath almost immediately so I just have to force the rest out, "I don't know if you heard the call I was on while we were in the elevator earlier?" I look up to gauge his reaction and I can see his face relax, and worse than that, one corner of his mouth lifts into a sort of smile. It's a look of pure smug satisfaction and I think I might scream. I have to close my eyes because I really don't think I can look at that face as I say the next part.

"My sister is getting married in a few months and my Mom's been on my ass to find a date for the wedding and she keeps trying to set me up with these losers, so I fucking panicked, and I told her you were my date." by the time the sentence is out my eyes have screwed up so tight it feels like I have to pry them open.

He sits in silence for too long. Thinking, maybe?

"So I'm the boy who teases you then?" he grins. So he did hear. And he did laugh. He looks far too self satisfied. Now he knows he's right. He knows I've talked to my Mom about him, that he's gotten in my head. I can tell from his smile that he's savoring the moment. Mostly because I can't slap the smug smile off his face I drop my head into my hands. In an effort to disappear I guess.

"So," he says, taking a moment, "is that all you wanted to say then?" he asks, lighthearted and obnoxious, back to his usual self. I snap back to reality, shooting my head back up.

"What do you mean is that all?" I throw back genuinely shocked,

"Is that all you had to say Y/N? Can I go now? It's a long bus ride home y'know" he smirks but makes no effort to move. He can't possibly be making me do this.

"Well no, obviously!" I stutter, "I mean, are you, will you, uh?" I can't bring myself to say it out loud. He leans in on the sofa looking directly at me, refusing to break eye contact.

"Did you have something you wanted to ask me Y/N?" I just want to smack that fucking look off his face,

"Fuck you Spencer Reid" I almost whisper under my breath, but Garcia snaps me back to reality.

"Hey!" she looks at me, stern again, "Ask him." it's not a question, or a suggestion, it's a command.

"Fine okay" I scrunch my eyes up again, "Will you come to my sisters wedding with me as my fake boyfriend?" I curl up into myself as I say it, I can almost feel the bile rising up from my stomach. Like I'm having a biological reaction to the whole thing.

Reid crosses his arms and sinks back on the sofa, like he's performing the act of thinking. He's considering my offer to make me squirm.

When he finally speaks he says "Well I would Y/N, but I really fail to see what's in it for me" he's after getting cocky now.

Garcia pipes up, excited, "Oh, Oh! I know! I have an idea!" she interjects, "Spencer remember how a while ago, back after your apartment flooded you were all all worried about your antique books and prints and stuff?" he nods, "Well Y/N could digitize the collection for you as a back up? I know you're a technophobe? C'mon Y/N, you know you could do that no sweat, and it would take you a lifetime alone Spencer?" I really don't want to admit it but she's right. Even I knew Reid was adverse to any technology that wasn't vital, but it was your specialty. And maybe that was a good trade off, a job like that would be near impossible for him to pull off without help. I take a glance over at Reid and he seems to have had the same train of thought as me. He lets out an exaggerated sigh and relaxes his posture.

"Fine, I guess that's a fair trade. I'm in." he resigns and I almost can't believe it. I'm barely processing the whole conversation as he sticks his hand out to me, I'm confused for a second before I grab it and shake it firmly. Condemning myself to whatever's about to happen. And it's not the time to be thinking about it but maybe this is the first time Spencer and I have ever touched? But I shove that thought away.

Garcia's positively beaming and she's not even trying to hide it. "Now it's like you're both in a Sandra Bullock movie, oh, but you're Hugh Grant maybe?" she points to Reid.

"Don't push it" I shoot in her direction, taking a slice of pizza, now that my anxiety stomach has sort of passed.

Once the pizza's been eaten in near completely awkward silence Spencer stands up off the sofa. His unsure demeanor has returned and he looks nervous. "I actually should get going this time" he says but Garcia pipes up to protest,

"No, it's not even late!"

"It takes me a while to get back home, thank you though Pen. For... this?" he gestures to the whole living room, "Night" he waves. He's almost made it to the door before I stand up out of my seat. I'm not really sure what comes over me, maybe it's gratitude, maybe it's guilt, or maybe I'm just exhausted.

"Wait Spencer. Let me give you a ride home?" I ask and it's like it's not even me saying it .

"Thanks, but I think I can make it home just fine" he dismisses, and there’s an antagonizing tone in his voice that snaps me right back to our usual rapport.

"I'm trying to do a nice thing here, fuck! Just let me do something nice!" I snap, and he throws his arms up in surrender.

"Fine alright, if it'll make you feel better"

"Fuck you Reid" I mutter under my breath and I sort of hope that he does hear me really. If he's gonna be hostile about this I can be too. I give Garcia a hug goodbye but I'm going to scold her for this whole thing later.

----

I lead the way outside and climb into my car, Spencer hops into the passenger seat and it feels as strange as always to be alone with him. Especially because it's not an accident, and it's not in work. Maybe this was a horrible idea. He seems like he's unwilling to break the silence, so I just get it over with.

"Where the hell do you live man? I'm gonna need directions." I say, as deadpan as I can muster, which probably isn't all that intimidating.

"Sorry, yeah, so you're gonna want to turn on the ignition" he teases. I definitely wasn't intimidating enough.

"Don't push it" I say, turning to give him a cruel stare, he just reacts with a smirk, that same one from the elevator earlier.

"Oh, I'm pushing it?" he asks, feigning disbelief

"I'll kick you out of this damn car" is all I can think to say. He barely responds, he just lets out a soft chuckle. I want to ask 'what's so funny' but he speaks before I can get the words out.

"I can't believe you talk to your Mom about me" he continues to laugh. That's enough.

"You know what Reid, of course I have! I work with actual murderers on a daily basis and somehow you've been the only real source of friction in my life since I joined the BAU!" He stops giggling a little, but not entirely, he looks like he's making an effort to contain himself.

"I'm sorry. I guess I just never knew I got to you like that" he still finds the whole thing amusing, but I sure as hell don't.

"Directions, now" I demand, looking straight out the front windshield.

"Fine, keep going straight on this road for a while and I'll tell you when to turn" he says, finally playing nice.

The two of us drive silently for most of the journey, the radio playing softly in the background. Eventually we arrive outside his building, and it's nicer than I thought it would be. But I have no idea what I was really basing that on. For some reason it hadn't occurred to me that Dr. Reid lived in an actual home, I had pictured him sleeping upside down in a cave maybe, or in a cryogenic chamber with all the other life-like genius robots.

"So," he says, breaking the silence, "When is this wedding?"

"4 months from now, in and around" I respond, matter of factly. Spencer nods, taking it in.

"Alright, so I've got 4 months, in and around, to learn enough to convincingly pass as your loving boyfriend. Doesn't sound so difficult." he jokes, his tone harsh and sarcastic.

"Look Spencer, I know this is insane and honestly kind of stupid. But in all seriousness, you can back out right now if you're not on board with whatever this is. I'm telling you this is the last exit ramp." I try to say it with sincerity, giving him a genuine out if he's not comfortable with the weird set-up that Penelope pulled on us both. He thinks on it for a moment and shakes his head.

"So how are we gonna do this?" he asks, and I really thought he was going to back out. So I don't have an actual answer.

"Well, I uh, I haven't really given a plan much thought. How about I come over and start working on some of the stuff you want digitized like Garcia mentioned and I can use the time to give you the footnotes on my life?" I suggest, at least that would make it easier to knock things out all at once. Rather than having to spend even more of my free time with Reid than necessary. He looks content with the improvised plan.

"Alright, sounds good." he undoes his seatbelt and opens the door to hop out of the car before turning back to me, "Are you coming inside or what?"

— —

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These Books Of You Part 2

Xingqiu x Reader

Part 1

V

Sypnosis: A boy of noble blood and disciple to the Guhua Clan, Xingqiu has been reading books of the heroic adventures of an elusive adepti, [Y/N] ever since he was a little boy.

Now a bit older, he sets everything aside in a journey to meet you.

Xingqiu was scolded harshly when he returned but he could hardly focus. Xingqiu could think of nothing but you and how he kissed-

He burries his face in his hand in embarrassment.

"Stop that. What's wrong with you?" Chongyun asks, sitting cross-legged on Xingqiu's bed.

"Oh Dear Chongyun, I kissed their hand." He replies in a muffled voice.

"Disgusting."

"You are not helping!"

Chongyun snickers, "What are they like?"

"Perfect." He responds, almost instantly.

"You'll have to be more specific than that."

"They saved me."

"You have a broken arm." Chongyun points out.

"I fell down while climbing though it should heal in 8 weeks at most."

"Foolish."

"Worth it."

Chongyun slouches on the bed as Xingqiu continues to ramble about you.

The following day feels as if it was the longest for Xingqiu. He could not bear the anticipation for nightfall and made sure to check the clock in his bedroom every ten seconds.

Now, you've been at the statue of Pervases since afternoon, paying your respects.

Xingqiu knew where the statue was. The traveler, Aether informed him of this but also told him to be careful as there were lots of hostiles in the path.

Xingqiu encountered none. There was this tugging feeling at the back of his head saying you cleared them all just for him. Which you did.

He arrived at the area and saw you, sitting near the statue with your eyes closed. The young man stared at you, contemplating about how peaceful you looked.

"Are you going to keep staring or will you sit down?" You ask, not looking at him.

"Apologies. My liege- I mean (Y/N). I was merely captivated by your beauty once again."

You open your eyes, taking in his expression.

He was dead serious.

You feel your cheeks heat up and in an effort to maintain your composure, you abruptly stand up and turn your back to him. You've come to terms with the fact that Xingqiu is a man of impulse. This, you could admire.

He is confused but decides not to bring it up.

Silence.

When the awkwardness becomes uncomfortable, he speaks again, "Would you like me to read these books of you out loud? I mean they're very interesting but it's fine if you don't considering that you already know what has happened-"

"Do as you wish."

The swordsman finds a comfortable place to sit and pulls out a heavy book.

Well this was gonna be a long night.

Once he starts reading, you find yourself unable to tear away your focus from his soft voice. You've lived these memories in your own life, and some you didn't even want to relive but still, you're drawn in by his sweet, sweet voice.

The night is mostly like this. There is occasional small talk like 'that is not how it happened.' Or 'May you please explain this part to me in detail? I want to know how you felt during this battle.'

You find if difficult to hold your tongue when he asks. Even the painful memories become just nostalgic when you explain to him. Xingqiu also tries not to overstep the boundaries despite wanting to know every single detail.

Weeks pass enough so that his arm eventually heals. And even more. Though he only gets to see you one night out of seven moons, he feels as if you two grow a bond, an unbreakable one. And you felt it too.

"-So I paid for all the damage dear Chongyun caused!"

You chuckle at the story, pitying his friend.

Silence.

You look at Xingqiu, confused as to why he stopped telling his story.

"You... you laughed," He points out, amazed. "I made you laugh..."

His cheeks were tainted with a blush. You could almost swear you saw his soul ascend to heaven.

"Hmmm... perhaps it's because I find it easy, tolerating your company. Maybe at times, I enjoy it," You say to stroke his ego a little .

"How did you get your vision?" He asks, eying the vision you had.

"Well... I used to be a mortal," You start, staring off into the distance.

The boy's eyes widen with curiosity and amazement, "I never knew of this! It's not mentioned in any of the books..."

"I never told anyone... Except now."

Xingqiu felt honored to be the first one you'd share your story with in thousands of years.

Suddenly, you question yourself.

Why were you so comfortable with him? Did he do some sort of sorcery on you? Why were you so important to him? Why was he so important to you? These thoughts raced in your head you could not think straight. Eons of slaughter did this to you. It broke you. Maybe it's just paranoia or all the lives you took finally taking a toll on you, giving you your own demons that prevented you from having nice things.

"How long will you stay with me?"

"Forever."

Liar

"No... Nevermind," You say, once again building your walls around yourself. The walls he tried so desperately to tear down.

Xingqiu frowns, "Why?"

You stay silent.

"(Y/N), you should not bear all your burden alone forever," He says, reaching out for your hand as if asking for your trust.

You don't accept it.

"It's not your place," You say in a stoic tone.

"But I'm your friend aren't I?"

His question is once again returned with silence.

"(Y/N), please I know how you feel-"

You feel yourself snap and say things you didn't even mean, "You know nothing of how I feel and you aren't my friend. You're merely an annoying mortal who wants to befriend me because you... you pity me. I disappointed you! I was not as heroic as those books say but you're too afraid to tell me-"

"(Y/N), none of that is true!" He grabs your shoulders, forcing you into eye contact, only then Xingqiu notices the tears, streaming down your cheeks.

He wonders what happened for you to be this reserved. Everyone always has a turning point. How long must you have yearned for someone to share the pain with you? How many times did they fail you? He was here now. You could trust him. He was prepared to wait. If you could just give him a chance, show him a sign, he would do anything for you because he

"I love you," Xingqiu whispers, wiping your tears away.

It was beautiful. The night, how the stars perfectly reflected in his eyes. The way he cups your cheeks with his slender hands. The way you felt as if you could just melt in his touch. The quiet. The moon. The relationship-

But every relationship had it's problems.

And in this one, it was you.

"You mean nothing to me. Just a face I'll forget after five hundred years," You say coldly, looking him straight in the eyes before vanishing from his sight.

"Forever."

Liar. Liar. Liar

Reality hits Xingqiu like a bucket of cold water. Of course. Of course he was just a human waving his fancy little sword around. He tried so desperately to gain your approval, pathetic as a clown. The Archons were probably laughing their heads off at how foolish he had been.

Xingqiu scoffs at himself, first he starts laughing, though that quickly turns into full blown sobs.

He's glad you left so you would not have to witness him in this shameful state.

But you didn't leave. You were still there. Just invisible to him. You wanted to make sure he got home safely. Quite ironic considering the only one that had posed real danger to him, was you.

Weeks pass with no sign of Xingqiu. You grew more and more restless and empty by the day. The adeptus noticed. Morax noticed.

"(Y/N), do you wish to become a mortal again?" He asked you one afternoon.

"You... you can do that?"

"You can," He replies. "Your vision was given to you along with your immortality when we made the contract."

Then suddenly, you understood what had to be done.

The other adeptus were surprisingly supportive of your decision. Even Xiao mentioned how he envied you for having a choice.

It felt weird to walk in the streets of Liyue Harbor. You have not visited this place since the time it was nothing but a wasteland of vengeful gods yet now the city was lively. Their were children running around and playing, street vendors attracting customers, lovers walking hand in hand. All this was fruit of your victories of war, was it not? Would it be such a sin to enjoy it?

Your thoughts are cut short when you feel someone grab you and harshly pull you into an alleyway.

"Xingqiu?" Was your first thought.

"We couldn't be more different."

You turn to the voice and find a light haired male, matching the description as someone in Xingqiu's stories.

"Chongyun."

He nods, seemingly unamused, then he glares, "What did you say to Xingqiu?"

"Hurtful things I shouldn't have," You admit, wincing at the memory.

Chongyun sees the glint of guilt in your eyes, "Well you better fix it."

"Where can I find him?"

You shock him with your eagerness. Perhaps... you weren't so bad Chongyun thought.

He brings you to Xingqiu's residence.

"Climb the window," He says. "I'll wait here. He won't talk to me."

Xingqiu mentioned a strict household once but you never expected that the only way out was sneaking through a window, though.

You, despite eons of combat training, quite clumsily stumble into the room.

There was no sign of Xingqiu... other than the uneven lump, the shape of Xingqiu under the blankets.

"Go away, Chongyun." He says, in a rather raspy voice.

You feel extremely guilty again. You caused this. This was your fault. Maybe he was better of without you-

No. No. These were the kind of thoughts that put you both in this situation in the first place. You were no longer going to listen to them.

"It's me, Xingqiu," Finally announcing yourself.

You here a small gasp but after that, nothing more.

Not knowing where to start or what to say, you settle on continuing the conversation that got cut off by your paranoid thoughts last time.

"I was once a mortal."

"Why are you still here? Don't you have someone else's heart to break?"

Well... at least now he was talking.

You decide to continue talking.

"I had a lover."

A yaksha. A strong and kind yaksha. A most gentle and lively man who never failed to save lives and vanquish foes. He always told you of his dreams to serve the geo archon and bring peace to the land.

"How long will you stay with me?" You ask, playing with his hair.

"Forever."

But he lied.

He fell victim to corruption after all the blood had been spilled and all the sins had been sinned.

He went on a rampage, destroying everything he came across and killing anyone who stood in his way. Innocent or sinner.

Except for you.

So you were the one to put an end to it all as you quite literally pierced an arrow through his heart.

And you regretted it. Inconsolable, you were.

Morax took pity on you and offered you what had been your lover's dream to serve, his powers, and eternal life.

"This vision isn't mine, Xingqiu. It's his," You finish the story, grasping the electro vision tightly.

"Xingqiu, I owe you an apology. I'm not exactly stable. I thought I didn't deserve nice things. I thought... I thought that by loving you, I would doom one of us to infinite suffering while the other, death," You admit, tearfully. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I-"

His arms wrap around your waist. It's almost scary how you didn't notice him get up and make his way toward you how low your guard was.

"I love you, Xingqiu."

"I love you too, (Y/N)."

"Miss (Y/N)," Chongyun calls out, when he passes by you in the street one day.

"I don't know if this means anything to you... but your vision seems to be at peace. I cannot explain this either. It has an aura as if it were alive."

You hold the hilt of your sword, aiming it at the vision that was currently on the ground.

Xingqiu places a kiss on your cheek before stepping back. "Whenever you're ready."

Months past after your reconciliation with him. The both of you have been happy together ever since.

The only way for you to become mortal again was to destroy the thing that bound you to immortality. The vision.

When you first told Xingqiu, he was hesitant. To think you'd give up your powes and eternal life just to grow old with him. But this was your choice. You spent years taking lives and saving them. Now you just wanted to take back your own. To live your own.

You inhale sharply and with all your force, bring the sword down.

It shatters the vision into a thousand glistening pieces. Sorrowful yet calm and beautiful. You had long forgiven the yaksha. And it seems he, you.

Xingqiu snakes a hand around your waist and  pulls you so that you're facing him. You inch your face closer to his and kiss him, it was a long kiss that left you out of breath. The kind of kiss that told you everything would be alright. The kind you read about in books.

"How long will you stay with me?" He asks.

"Forever."

And there were no lies this time.

[allegra-writes]

"Lights Up" part I

Peter Parker x SHIELD Agent!Reader

NSFW

Warnings: And there was only one bed!!

Peter must deal with the aftermath of what Mysterio did, but he's not alone: Nick Fury and Pepper Stark have a plan, one that includes you, Peter and the tropical desert island of Eroda.

Series Masterlist

His lungs were on fire, his legs burning with the strain, he didn't know how much longer he was going to be able to go on. The sharp pain piercing his side was disconcerting, he used to be familiar with it, he remembered as much, but he hadn't felt it in years, not since the spider bite. In fact, he couldn't remember the last time he had gotten so much as winded just from running, but he had been at it for hours now, ever since he had ditched MJ and his suit in that dingy alley in hopes of Peter Parker being a little more inconspicuous than Spider-Man. 

But by then, everyone in the city knew his face, and in the age of the internet and smartphones all it took was one single snap, one tweet, one livestream, to find himself surrounded by an angry mob, screaming for his blood, like something out of an old horror movie. All they were missing were the pitchforks and torches. There was nowhere to hide. 

So he ran. 

And he kept on running, but even he couldn't run forever. At least not without eating anything, the calorie deficiency starting to take a toll on his super-metabolism, causing him to become dizzy, his reflexes slower. 

That was probably why he didn't realize his mistake until it was too late, until he reached the intersection and found himself surrounded: He had been ambushed, led like a lamb to the slaughter. He came to a halt, turning around, looking in vain for a way out, but the circle they had arranged around him was a tight formation, he was either going to have to fight his way out or shoot a web and swing away and he could kiss goodbye any chance left at keeping his identity secret after that…

"Looks like we caught ourselves a spider, guys!"

"Not so brave now, eh boy?"

Peter cursed internally. There was no other way, falling into stance, he braced himself for the fight. But before he could make a move, he saw it. A car, a rather distinctive one, heading straight their way, and it wasn't slowing down. If anything, it seemed to speed up the closer it got to the crowd, forcing people -including Peter- to jump out of the way to avoid being run over. 

"Get in!" 

He didn't need to be told twice, jumping into the passenger seat, the car speeding away before he even got to close the door completely. You stole a glance at him. He looked tired, maybe a little pale, but uninjured. You sighed in relief. He was there, you had gotten to him on time. He was safe.

Safe and openly gawking at you.

"Y- y/n?" 

You flinched,

"Yeah, not my real name" You took your eyes off the road to give him an apologetic look, "Sorry 'bout that"

"Then who are you?" His voice was steel. So much for being grateful for saving his ass, then…

"I'm agent 16 of S.H.I.E.L.D's Special Service. I was assigned to protect you" You threw him a side-glance, "and a little 'thank you' would be nice"

Well, that explained the uniform and you driving Item 20-25. God, he was so stupid! Of course you were a spy, why else would a girl like you even give him the time of day? The pretty girls at his school weren't nice, not to him at least. But now it all made sense, down to the very first time he saw you, beaming at him as Mr. Warren pointed at the empty seat beside him. All the times your hands brushed in class, fingers lingering on test tubes and books a couple of seconds longer than necessary. All those little touches, all the secret looks when you thought he wasn't watching, it was probably all part of your mission. Probably just to get close to him, to gain his trust. After all, you had demonstrated you weren't truly interested in him when you turned down his invitation to prom. 

He had cried afterwards. Not much, not like at Ben's funeral, or when Mister Stark… No, definitely not like that, but he had shed a couple of tears that night. 

He had lost sleep and appetite over you. Lost hours daydreaming about you, about the fruity smell of your hair, wondering what your strawberry lipstick would taste like. But the truth was, after all this time, after all that staring, all that pinning he didn't know anything about you, did he? Not even...

"Can you tell me your real name?"

"You don't have the clearance for that"

You replied, turning to face him. And maybe he ought to fasten that seat belt after all, or shut up and stop distracting you from the road, cause you were still going too damn fast and breaking all traffic laws known to mankind. Mr Dell's shocked, appalled face after your driving test flashed through his mind.

"Spider-Man has a level 6 clearance" he protested.

"You need a level 9. At least." 

"I thought 9 was the highest level" Gods, his frown was adorable.

You just smirked and made another turn, driving through an entrance and a ramp that hadn't been there a second ago. 

"We're here" You announced, killing the engine. Peter didn't move.

"Where exactly is 'here'?"

"S.H.I.E.L.D's Manhattan headquarters"

You got out of the car, rounding to his side and pulling his door open, then closing it once he had gotten out. The gentleman in him protested it should be the other way around, he should be the one opening doors for you and helping you out of cars. It was absurd, of course. There, with you in that black catsuit, thigh holsters on both your legs, walking like you owned the place there was no mistaking it: You weren't y/n, his school crush; you were a highly trained special agent, escorting him through the premises.

… Pretty familiar premises, actually. 

"Avengers Tower? S.H.I.E.L.D bought Avengers Tower?"

"It was a donation, actually" you explained as the elevator's doors opened to the Stark Memorial Garden, an open garden as majestic as it was massive, located right in the heart of the building.

"A donation? But wh-"

"Peter! Oh thank god!" A relieved voice and the clicking of hills on the stone path interrupted him.

"Mrs. Stark?" Peter let himself be crushed into Pepper's chest, closing his eyes, the tears he hadn't known he was holding back starting to fall as soon as he felt safe in her embrace.  

If Tony Stark had been like a father to him, Pepper Potts-Stark was a mother trough and trough. She had tried to step into her husband's role of a mentor for Peter, knowing fully well she couldn't ever replace him or occupy his place; but she would be damned if she allowed that giant Tony shaped hole on that boy's life to go unattended, to bleed out or fester. The kid had already lost so much, almost every parent figure he had ever had. And she knew what that kind of loss could do to precocious boys with too big hearts, had seen it first hand with Tony. 

"Mrs. Stark I'm so- I'm so sorry"

"Shhh" She said soothingly, "It's not your fault. You're going to be ok, I promise. We'll figure it out" Pepper sounded like she was trying to convince herself as much as him. 

"Pete! Six!" 

Peter broke the hug just in time to see a little dark haired meteor jump into your arms. He watched, stunned, as Morgan clung to you. He knew once upon a time she had been an outgoing, confident child but ever since her father's death she had grown timid. She didn't open up easily to strangers, Peter being a rare exception, and even that had been solely because of the stories Tony used to tell her about her 'super big brother' adventures. She had developed a sort of hero worship for Peter that only rivaled the one she felt for her father. For her to be so friendly towards you had to mean you had spent a considerable amount of time together, and Peter remembered the tales you used to tell in class about the adorable little girl you babysat sometimes. 

"You did it! You found him!"

You smiled at her.

"Told you I would, Morgs. And I always keep my word" He watched you squeeze her again in your arms, he could tell you cared about the kid, probably even missed her while you and him were in Europe. But the sweet reunion was short lived, as soon another voice, more stern, resonated through the garden.

"In our line of work, I'm not sure that can be considered a good thing"

You gasped in mock trepidation, making Morgan giggle and Peter smile despite himself.

"Uh-oh! We've been caught!" You passed the still laughing kid to Peter and stood straighter, trying to sober up. Peter could see the corners of your mouth twitch as you greeted, "Director" 

He gave you a nod,

"Agent. Parker, Mrs. Stark. Good, now that everybody's here, we can get a move on"

Without waiting for a reply, Nicholas Fury started walking again, leaving everyone to scramble to follow.

"I know this seems like the end of the world, Mr. Parker, and I'll admit the situation isn't ideal," the intimidating man punched a code into a hidden panel and another elevator opened. "but our main priority right now is your safety. We'll treat this like any other blown cover, following the same protocols we follow when any of our agent's identity is compromised: Immediate extraction and relocation of the agent into a safe house, with an armed escort for protection, of course" He explained as everybody climbed in.

"You're sending me away with a bodyguard?" Peter sounded less than pleased and you couldn't help the pang of sympathy. You didn't like to be pulled off the field either.

"I understand how that could be uncomfortable for you," it didn't sound like he particularly cared, though, "so perhaps it would be less unpleasant with an element you're already familiar with. Agent 16 here is going to be your companion"

"What does that means, Six?" Morgan turned to you, still perched onto Peter's torso, like a baby koala.

"It means I'm going to babysit your brother instead of you, for a while…" You threw the brunet boy a wink and his protests about not needing babysitting died on his lips. It didn't sound so bad, actually. Being cooped up with you in some secret location for an indeterminate amount of time.

"How long would we be gone?" 

"As long as it takes for the director and me to fix this" Pepper spoke with the authority only her seemed to possess, the one that could reing in crazy geniuses dash heroes and master spies alike. Fury could only nod in compliance.  

"What about May?"

"She's with Happy, already on her way to the lake house" 

Peter still looked unsure, but Pepper smiled, eyes sparkling with a mischievous glint surprisingly similar to the one her husband used to have.

"Don't worry, Peter. You'll love the safe house. I know Tony and I did…"

…

Leaving Morgan at the launch bay had been the hardest part. Her tears soaking Peter's t-shirt as Pepper tried to pry the fabric out of her little hands, were enough to break his heart. She didn't want to let her big brother go, probably terrified he wouldn't come back, just like her father. Far too perceptive for a six year old kid, she understood Peter was in trouble, in danger, and she was scared.

Peter was scared too. 

How could he not? He might be naive but he wasn't stupid, he knew that no matter the outcome of whatever plan Mrs. Stark and Fury came out with, his life as he knew it was over. 

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry" Your earnest voice pulled him out of his dark thoughts, "For lying to you, for what Beck did, for everything."

Peter stared at your profile, something he seemed to be doing a lot that day. Who was he trying to kid, he did a lot of that everyday. It actually seemed to be the only normal thing that remained, the one thing that seemed to stay constant as the world shifted and changed around him. He should be mad at you, he knew that. He should feel betrayed, hurt, and he did, a little but it was hard to stay angry at you. Even when you were partnered at school and you failed to do your part in the projects, he used to have trouble not forgiving you the second you flashed those doe eyes at him. 

He sighed,

"It's not your fault, any of it. About the lying, you were only doing your job" It wasn't your fault that he had been dumb enough to fall in love with a girl that didn't even exist. "And as for Quentin… that definitely wasn't your fault"

"My job was to protect you. If I had done it right, none of this would have happened" there was a slight catch in your voice "I should have realized he was a fraud, I should have told Nick as soon as I started having doubts about the guy, I should have stopped him before he stole E.D.I.T.H; I should have-" You turned away, pretending to get engrossed in the navigation controls of the Quinjet.

"I should have found that video and stopped it from reaching the news" You finished, voice finally under control, but still not meeting Peter's eyes.

"I was the one that literally handed E.D.I.T.H to him" You felt his hand cover yours over a lever, and looked at him in surprise. He found your eyes, a soft look in his that made your insides fill with butterflies, "He tricked me too. Do you blame me for that?"

"What? No, of course not!" 

Your indignation on his behalf warmed his chest.

"Then why blame yourself for the same thing?" 

He had a point. Luckily, you were saved from having to answer him by a blip in your instruments.

"Looks like we're here" You commented instead, initiating landing maneuvers. 

"Where is here, exactly?" He peered out of the windscreen, into the darkness of the night, trying to get a look. And who knew, with his super senses maybe he could. 

"Somewhere in the middle of the Pacific. An island, apparently, a very isolated one..."

"So you've never been here before either?"

"No, this isn't one of S.H.I.E.L.D's safe houses. This one is Mrs. Stark's" 

"Oh" Peter smiled for the first time since leaving NYC, "It must be really cool then"

"Yeah, I imagine it is" You smiled back

The house was not how you imagined Tony Stark's safe house would be like. For starters, the wooden construction wasn't even a house, a bungalow would have been a more appropriate title. The one-room little shack stood semi hidden by palm trees on the beach, and you knew the island was probably beautiful, but you couldn't see much in the moonless night.

Inside there wasn't much to see either, just a queen sized bed, a cupboard with a chest of drawers and a recliner by one of the windows. Ever the gentleman, Peter had offered to take the recliner, but you had rolled your eyes and pointed out the bed was big enough for the both of you. 

"I don't know why we're so surprised" Peter's voice reached you through the bathroom door, where he was changing into his pjs, "I mean, we've seen the Lake House and, sure, it's very luxurious for a cabin but that's what it is: a cabin"

"Maybe" You replied, flopping on the bed. At least it was comfy "but they have FRIDAY over there. Here we barely even have electricity"

Peter stopped in his tracks as soon as he walked into the room, and you pretended not to notice the way his eyes lingered on your exposed legs, your tiny cotton sleeping shorts not covering much at all.

"It's just, I can't possibly believe Tony Stark didn't installed any defense system on his safe house. I mean, you knew the man better than I did, but doesn't it strike you as a little… odd?"

"Huh? Ye-yeah, I mean, I…" You could see his cheeks turn red. God, he was adorable.

"Peter?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you coming to bed?"

He choked on his own spit, and you had to suppress a giggle. Maybe, just maybe, he truly did forgive you for lying to him. Maybe you still had a chance.

…

Peter couldn't sleep. He could feel the heat coming off your skin through the small distance separating your bodies, your perfume invading his nostrils with every breath. Being so close to you in the dark was torture and yet he couldn't bring himself to get up and go to the chair on the other side of the room. He was pinned to the bed, mesmerized by your sleeping profile, enthralled by the way your chest rose and fell with every deep, steady breath. Irrevocably and inescapably drawn to you like a moth to a flame, too scared to move, too afraid to disturb your dream.

Because it appeared to be a very good dream. He could see the blush spreading from your face to your neck, all the way down to where the neckline of your tank top obscured his view. He could hear your breathing starting to quicken, feel the temperature of your skin rise. He could smell you, sweet and enticing. Beckoning. 

Your lips parted, letting out the most captivating little sigh in the history of mankind, and his eyes zeroed in the movement, his tongue darting out to wet his own. 

Peter felt his blood rushing south and was disgusted by himself, he felt like a creep. What kind of psycho got off of watching a girl sleep? Yet he couldn't bring his eyes to avert their gaze. 

He needed to get out of there, give you some semblance of privacy, as your hips started to twitch minutely, seeking a friction they wouldn't find. You let out a soft whine and he screwed his eyes shut. 'Come on Parker, get a grip on yourself' he thought, trying to gather enough strength to pry himself from the bed, to pry himself from your side. He was about to, he truly was, when it happened. 

You rolled over, half trapping him under your body. And it wouldn't have been hard for him to escape if he wanted to. But he really really didn't want to. The voice inside his head telling him it was wrong was growing weaker and weaker with every pretty noise leaving your mouth. Your hot breath was searing against the skin of his chest and he both cursed and blessed the instant he decided to forego wearing a t-shirt to bed in the sultry island heat. 

"Peter" You murmured in your sleep and his heart stopped. You were dreaming about him. You were panting and burning up for him, and he knew it didn't necessarily mean anything and dreams were not real life, but your legs fell open, one knee on either side of one of his, and he could actually feel your warm wetness through the thin fabric of your sleeping shorts and his threadbare plaid pajama pants and fuck!

Whatever last trace of logic might remained in his brain flew out the window as you started rubbing yourself on his thigh, finally finding the friction you so desperately needed. His hand went to your waist to stop you, but it ended up aiding you instead, sliding to your lower back, pressing down and releasing rhythmically, rocking you against his leg harder. 

He glared at the traitorous appendage, but how could he reproach it it's betrayal, when you were moaning so sweetly? He wanted to commit those sounds to his memory, to tattoo them on his brain to play over every night when he'd found himself alone on his cold bed, one hand around his length and the other over his mouth to stop himself from yelling your name at the ceiling, as he had so many times before. 

You breathed out his name again, and his free hand went to his pelvis, of its own volition. He palmed himself over his pants, but that's as far as he would let himself go. He refused to be the guy who jerked himself off next to an unconscious girl. 

A new wave of moisture left your core, soaking his skin through the fabrics. 

"Fuck!" He cursed softly, head hitting the tall headboard as he threw it back.

"Peter?" 

He froze. No. Oh god, please no...

To be continued...

[doyelikehaggis]

The Vampire Diaries Verse (Screw-Canon Style): Klaus Mikaelson x Stefan Salvatore x Hayley Marshall | Put your arms around me and I'm home

Requested by anonymous

For a moment, Klaus can't feel a thing. It's like he's just there, floating in an abyss of nothing, without a corporeal form. Not quite existing, but just enough for him to be aware of it. Maybe this is true death, he thinks.

Or maybe it's his punishment for every sin he's committed in his life. Not quite peace, not quite hell. A limbo of sorts, where he'll be all alone, forever accompanied by nothing but his own mind. And he's content with that. It's not endless torture, and he'll take anything over that. There would be too many possibilities for ways that he could be broken.

No, this is right. This is what he deserves, and he is okay with that. In a way, he makes peace with it in that moment. 

Then it's as if he blinks, and things slowly start to form in the abyss. It turns from pure darkness to a light shade of grey, silhouettes and objects hazy and unfocused, as if just out of reach. Colours start to seep into the picture before his eyes, and his heart starts to sink. Of course he doesn't get off with simply being isolated for the rest of eternity. 

Murmurs echo around him, drifting closer, getting clearer. His eyes narrow, trying to pick out a word, something that'll help him figure out what exactly is going on. He's supposed to be dead. If he's not dead then the hollow could still take over. Everyone, especially Hope, will still be in danger. 

Laughing catches his attention. He whips around, on high alert, already trying to shift in anticipation of a fight. But his teeth stay blunt and human. He doesn't feel himself get stronger, or angrier, or feel a need for blood. Not even the presence of magic inside of him, the curse of the hollow trying to get free. It's all...gone.

"Aw, he thinks he's still the all-powerful hybrid. Isn't that adorable?"

Klaus goes completely still. His chest constricts, the air getting caught in his lungs as his head snaps up. Something won't let him turn around, though, let him see for himself. Fear. This is a hallucination of some sort. Probably caused by the hollow. Just a mind game.

"The cutest."

His heart twists, and he really can't breathe. It's not possible. Those voices. It can't be.

But he forces himself to turn around now, his heart stuttering in his chest. And there they are. His stomach drops and he can only stare wide-eyed in disbelief at Hayley and Stefan, standing so casually in front of him. So alive, their eyes bright and full of something he never thought he'd see in either of them ever again. Both wearing smiles with this look on their faces. 

"How..." he starts, but can't figure out the rest, simply shaking his head. "This isn't..."

The amusement softens across both of their features, turning to understanding. His mind can barely keep up, trying to process it and failing. It's the Hollow. It has to be. Even in death it won't leave him be, let him rest in peace. 

"It's real, Klaus," Hayley says, and her voice sounds so real. 

He just shakes his head again as Stefan nods, confirming it. He goes to step back, but stops when Hayley reaches out, her hand settling on his shoulder. The rage that had been building at this mind game he's being forced to play fizzles out like a flame underwater. It feels like everything inside of him stills, as if the whole world slows to let him catch up. 

His eyes follow her arm to her hand. He can feel it. The gentle pressure of her fingers curling around his arm, giving a squeeze of proof. Warmth emanating from her skin, and the closer he listens, he realizes with a start, he can hear her heartbeat. The same heart that he heard being crushed. The same skin he saw catch alight under the burning sun until there was nothing left of her. Yet here she is. 

Slowly, he draws in a sharp breath, light-headed all of a sudden. He lifts his eyes to meet her soft, assuring gaze. It's not a trick. He knows, because hallucinations even get things wrong, and only the real version of Hayley has ever looked at him like that. 

"It's real," he echoes back to her, and her mouth curves a little more as she gives another, single nod. 

He doesn't think, just moves, brushing her hand off to pull her into him. Her surprise is clear, but she hugs him back, arms winding around him. Klaus can barely bring himself to remember to breathe. He can feel her. Her small, powerful body in his arms, her hair against his face. Her heart beating against his chest and beneath the skin of her neck. She's real.

The second wave of realization makes him cling tighter, his breath coming out in a harsh gasp. His eyes move without him really controlling his actions. They lock onto that familiar pair of green eyes that are shining so brightly, still holding that same look that Klaus has never felt like he earned. That he thought he had missed his chance to ever see again when he heard of his death while he was too many miles away. 

Hayley pulls back, and despite the part of him that read every single letter she wrote to him wanting nothing more than to hold onto her forever, he lets her, his gaze still locked onto Stefan. 

"Well," he breathes out, "I heard you ignored me, as per usual, and did a lousy job of taking care of yourself."

Stefan's mouth curves into a grin and a soft chuckle. "You're one to talk."

Klaus can't help but laugh in return. He's crying, he realizes, feeling the wetness around his eyes. They both are. 

"I'll admit, I've missed you," Stefan says, and holds a hand out to him with dancing eyes. "Welcome to the afterlife, old friend."

Glancing at his hand, Klaus scoffs. He doesn't even hesitate in knocking it aside and pulling him in with a hand on his shoulder instead. Stefan instantly wraps his arms tightly around him, face pressed into his shoulder. Klaus grips the base of his neck and closes his eyes. For the first time, when he exhales, it doesn't feel like a weight is crushing him. 

It doesn't feel like he's going to drown in a sea of grief and despair, but is home at last. 

Yet again, he finds himself unwilling to break apart. But he forces himself to anyway, only he doesn't let go. He leans in without worry, without thought, feeling Stefan's desire as strongly as his own. Stefan, who moves to meet him as if it's the most familiar thing in the world, as if it hasn't been decades since they last kissed. 

In his heart, it doesn't feel like it has. Everything feels right now, like a rush of memories flowing through him, dropping every barrier he had in place. The same effect that Stefan has had since that day in 1922.  He just never thought he would get a chance to feel it all again, not like this.

A throat clearing draws them apart with grins. Klaus steps back and looks over at Hayley, her eyebrows raised but a smile glinting in her eyes.

"Don't worry, little wolf, there's plenty more of me for you," he says.

Hayley rolls those brilliant eyes that he's adored since their first meeting as well. "Still obnoxious in the afterlife. Got it. Are we sure this is peace and not hell?"

"Ouch." Klaus presses a mocking hand to his chest with a wolfish grin. "And here I thought you would be thrilled to see me again."

"This is certainly better than the last time we reunited," Stefan jokes, tilting his head. "Well, sort of. We're all kind of dead this time around, so I'm not too sure about that, but at least no one is trying to kill each other. That's good, right?"

Hayley doesn't agree. A dark look crosses her face. "I was hoping it would be a lot longer before this." She looks at Klaus, and he understands the glint in her eyes before she even says it. "For Hope's sake."

He presses his lips together, swallowing down the lump in his throat and the stinging still lingering in his eyes. The reality of it had slipped him for just a moment, but now he nods, smiling sadly.

"I know," he says, then draws in a shaking breath. "But she's strong. Like her mother. She can survive this." He glances at Stefan, laying a hand on his shoulder. "And she has Caroline looking out for her, along with Rebekah and Marcel, and Freya, and even Kol."

Stefan makes a noise at that, disguising the flash of pain in his eyes at the mention of Caroline. "Kol? I'm a little more worried about her now."

"Yeah, that wasn't your most uplifting speech," Hayley agrees with humour in her voice. 

"I knew there was a reason I never wanted to introduce the two of you," Klaus says dryly, and points a finger at them. "I will not be ganged up on! Elijah will be joining us soon, I assume, and the last thing I need is three against one."

"Oh yeah, no can do, buddy," Stefan says, patting his hand. He shares a grin with Hayley. "We've gotten pretty close waiting for you over here. I don't know if we can make any promises on that one."

Hayley shakes her head. "Absolutely not."

"Alright." Klaus drops his hand from Stefan's shoulder. "I'm going to wait over there for my dear brother, far away from the two of you."

"Yeah, good luck with that because we're not going anywhere," Hayley says cheerily, and Stefan agrees.

Despite the front he's putting on, he feels an insurmountable joy. He hopes they're right, because he couldn't bear to lose either of them again. Just seeing them together feels like a blessing, something far more precious than anything he has ever been deserving of in his life.

He would be happy to listen to the two of them tease and trade jibes about him for hours, because it means they're both here with him, and happy. At peace. He understands now why he's here, somewhere in the middle of the bayou. This is his peace. Stefan and Hayley. They're his happy ending, the one thing he never thought that he would get. He's happy to be wrong.

[silenthillmutual]

I'm assuming you mean writing prompts! Not sure what kind of mood you're in so I'll give you 2. First: Daniil or Artemy bragging about their partner to someone else. They're not trying to but. They do anyways. There's too much love. Alternatively: One of Artemy's kids (Sticky or Murky, perhaps) fall grievously ill and he's got to be a good dad and tell them everything's gonna be ok. Sorry idk anything about jjba dr or mp100 lol

i’m so sorry this has been sitting in my inbox for forever while i’ve hit writer’s block. so i’m gonna write something short for the first one, ty<3

The way Daniil is going on at length here is going to give him a migraine. He’ll admit to this: he’s mostly gotten used to it. The man can talk - and talk, and talk, and talk. It’s really a shame they haven’t got a school set up in the Town. He’d be a natural lecturer. And he knows Daniil used to give lectures sometimes in the Capital, which is probably how he manages to either follow him or tune him out depending on the subject.

It’s just that right now, Artemy is the subject. So his levels of embarrassment are about through the roof, but there’s no real polite way to stop him.

Were they back in Town, Artemy would just get up and leave. Daniil just does this sometimes. Artemy started to realize about a month ago that he was the sort of person to speak his affection rather than show it. Which always felt like some sort of issue, because Artemy is - “Acta non verba,” he hears Daniil say, right on cue. The grip Daniil has on his hand is remarkably strong for someone of his size, and Artemy’s face feels like it’s going to explode. Daniil’s got his head tilted, looking up at him with those wide brown eyes and he can’t leave. Even if Daniil wasn’t anchoring him to the spot, he’d just feel bad about it when he looks that damn sincere. “Really, it’s remarkable,” Daniil says, eyes never leaving his face. He pulls Artemy’s hand up to his mouth to kiss it.

He swears the woman Daniil’s been speaking to rolls her eyes. Artemy feels like his face is going to explode. His cheeks hurt so much he doesn’t think he’ll ever feel them again. And yet, he can’t be too mad at him, because he knows there’s not a hint of sarcasm to his words, and this is probably the nicest Daniil’s ever been about anybody.

“So what is your specialty, exactly?” the woman asks, though it’s clear she’s only doing it for the same reason Artemy hasn’t left this soiree altogether and headed back for their hotel room.

“I’m a herbalist,” he says flatly.

Her eyebrows raise, but Artemy doesn’t get a chance to find out if it’s a genuine pique of interest or more high-class Capital snobbery because Daniil scoffs and says, “Don’t be so modest, Tëma.”

The nickname is what really sells it. “I need another drink,” the woman says. Her own has been empty for a while now, ice melting in the bottom, but she throws back what’s left of it to crunch the ice between her teeth, stepping away. Daniil uses her leaving as an excuse to set his body against Artemy’s, leaning against him to get better leverage to kiss him on the cheek. He’s been wondering the whole time if this is normal for the Capital. He hasn’t exactly seen many couples like them, but then he’s not sure if it would matter if it was. It seems Daniil doesn’t blend in any better here than he had in Town.

Artemy sighs. Doesn’t push him away, but leans into one of the fleeting moments of physical intimacy. And sighs again. “Why don’t you talk about your own accomplishments, Daniil?”

“What accomplishments?” he snorts. Daniil avoids looking him in the eye, but he can feel the anxiety in the way his grip bruises him. “You know how poorly I did those two weeks. What on Earth do I have to brag about? No, no - I’m already well known here, though. But you - you deserve the glory, darling.”

“I’m not interested in glory.” He watches Daniil’s expression fade into a frown. And he doubts the man intends for him to read into the way his grip loosens, but it would be impossible to just not notice it. “I just mean -”

“No. I know what you mean.” His voice is already so lacking in tone that the difference is almost difficult to tell, but Artemy squeezes his hand to try and get the life back to him. He expects Daniil to speculate that he’s managed to embarrass him, but the next words he mumbles are, “It’s all rather trivial to you.” He shifts weight from one foot to the other. “The games they play here - it’s not all that different from the rulers of your town. Reputation is worth so much, but to you it’s meaningless.”

“I wouldn’t say it’s entirely meaningless.” He pulls their hands up and over his stomach, trying to drag Daniil closer to him. “Hey. Come on. No, it’s just that - I’m right here. It’s embarrassing to hear you say all that stuff about me. As if I did something special, and not just my job. You would’ve done the same thing.”

Wrong choice of words. Daniil doesn’t even bother raising his eyebrows to that, though he humors looking at Artemy for a moment. “Well I didn’t. Clearly I didn’t. You know I didn’t. You were there!”

“Alright, I get it.” Artemy nudges Daniil’s shoulder with his own. “But don’t act like you didn’t do anything while you were there. What about that vaccine you made with Rubin, huh? The discoveries you made in the Polyhedron?” He’ll have to gloss over that one quick before the ice sets in. “The Stamatins are sticking around, you could always talk about one of their projects -”

“Has no one ever praised you before?” Daniil interrupts. Artemy’s mouth shuts so suddenly his teeth click together. Daniil takes the moment of silence to look up at him, and that horrid smirk starts to work its way across his lips. “Nothing is stopping you from speaking for yourself, you know. Or leaving, if my incessant chatter bothers you so desperately.”

“Your hand is,” Artemy grumbles.

“Oh please. Just before we left - on the way to the station, in fact! I saw you cart four children on your back. Three of them were teenagers. This -” he rubs their joined hands against Artemy’s stomach - “Is hardly holding you back.”

Now he raises his brows, and Artemy has to let out his breath under Daniil’s scrutiny. “I don’t want to leave your side,” he says. “You’re the man I came with, and I won’t leave without you.” Daniil continues to blink at him. He rubs the back of his neck with his free hand. “And this is probably the nicest you’ve ever been. I don’t mind the words, it’s... it’s the fact that people are staring.”

“Aha!” Daniil says, and really, Artemy does not trust the sentiment one bit, not with the wicked smile he’s wearing. “So you’re unused to positive attention, and that’s making you uncomfortable.” He pulls their joined hands back to his side, and up to his mouth to kiss Artemy’s hand again. “I should praise you more often,” he says with his lips pressed to Artemy’s skin.

“Alright, whatever. But could you do it in private?” His words come out as a grumble, but he knows as soon as they leave his mouth its a mistake, cheeks tingling from the blush. “That’s not what I meant!” He doubts very much Daniil believes him. “How do I explain this? These peoples’ opinions - they don’t mean very much to me. And I don’t want them staring at me like I’m some specimen under their microscope. I didn’t come here for them, emshen. I came here for you.”

Daniil hums, and lets their hands drop. “Duly noted,” he says. “I will cut back my bragging to a minimum. That should keep conversations short, anyway. The less time we spend here, the sooner we can get to admiring you in private.”

Artemy rolls his eyes, but doesn’t drop the other man’s hand. “You just live to be difficult, don’t you?”

[engagedtobefree]

I talked to Scott on the phone again last night, and now I'm worried. We talked for about 50 minutes and it was normal like our other phone conversations, except for a few things.

Scott told me I seemed kind of shy on Saturday, that I wasn't as talkative as I used to be. I can see what he meant; I had trouble making eye contact and I was really nervous. So I tell Scott I was just nervous and he said, "Oh, aight." I also wasn't flirty like I used to be, but only because I don't want to feed into any possible bad intentions. It's not how it was before when I felt more confidence about Scott's feelings toward me (though that certainly waxed and waned) and I was protected by being at work. Flirting now at my place could potentially lead somewhere.

Then I yawned, and I guess it sounded a little different cuz Scott asked me why I moaned. I tell him it was a yawn and then he said what sounded like, "idk, Dana." "What?" Then, to my surprise he responds with an, "Oh, Dana", making the "oh" sound moany. I instantly feel turned on. I almost respond with "are you the one moaning now?" but I stop myself and don't say anything back to him. I want to hear Scott's moans and sex noises, but I don't want to feed into this if all he is looking for is sex.

A few minutes later he mentions me in my "tight ass jeans and boots." I respond best I can, saying I do miss dressing up, and he says if he can make it over tomorrow (today, now) that maybe I could dress up for him. I tell him I can. Truthfully, most of my old jeans are too tight now since I gained weight and I haven't been able to lose anything yet. I have a pair I can probably wear though.

All of this makes me worried though. What if Scott really is just looking to have sex with me? What if that's all he wants? I can't tell because I notice things that could point to that or could point to him wanting something more. What if he doesn't only want sex and he just...can't help himself saying these things?

I'm terrified, not of Scott but of getting hurt. And if Scott were to hurt me in such a big way while I am pretty emotionally vulnerable and raw, idk how I'd handle it. I am still working on healing from past trauma with men and if another man were to hurt me right now, especially one I have my heart so invested in and am choosing to trust, idk what it would do to me.

I'm worried that I've waited all this time and hoped for a miracle just for Scott to come back only looking for one thing. This isn't what I waited for. I don't want to be called hot. Yeah, it's nice, but only sometimes; it just feels hollow hearing it over and over. I want Scott to also think I'm pretty. I want to date Scott. I've always wanted to date Scott. And while I want him in my bed, that's not how I want to start out. I know we already have an established relationship with each other, but I'd still like something more first.

Idk if I should bring it up to Scott if I see him tonight. Do I just come out and ask him what he wants and what his intentions are? I want to know, but at the same time I'm terrified of what the truth might be. What if he makes a move? That's going to be so hard for me because on one hand I'm going to really want it, and on the other hand it's not going to be how I want it. And if he makes a move, do I stop him and tell him I can't and tell him I don't want to get hurt, that I know we both are looking for different things? I can't just assume Scott only wants sex, but I need to protect myself. I'm also just at the tail end of my period, so I could always use that as an excuse, though he most likely won't care and I'd rather be honest than find an excuse.

I want to see Scott and I want him to come over, but now I'm also fearful of it. I will be away next weekend, so if I can't see him tonight I'm going to keep worrying about this for several more weeks. And that's just assuming I do get some sort of answer tonight. But how can I hide my nervousness? Normally, I can fake things fairly well when I want to, so unless someone really knows me and my energy, I could get away with faking being okay. I don't think that's gonna work with Scott though. He knows me and he can tell when something is off. It doesn't hurt to try, but I'm not confident at all that he won't be able to see right through it.

But then there's the other side of things.

I keep thinking about Scott saying, "Yeah, me too." when I said I want to consciously choose someone who I truly want to be with. Does Scott really want a relationship? How long has it been since he consciously made a decision to be with someone he wants? How long has it been since he followed his heart and went after what he wanted instead of what he thought was the right thing to do? Am I what he wants? When he stops to listen to his heart, does it tell him to make his way back to me? I have many questions about his response to me.

I also have doubts about my doubts. If Scott only wanted one thing then why would he talk on the phone with me every weekend and for long periods of time? Why compliment me in other ways and show his interest in what I have to say? Why open up to me about things when naturally he's very guarded? Why say that he missed me? Granted, that could all be a ploy to reel me in, but I don't think Scott is that deceptive, especially because he knows I'm into him so he wouldn't have to make all of these efforts. Also, why apologize for being a dick and hurting me, only to turn around and act that way and do it again? I mean, I have had men do that same thing to me on two different occasions, but I can't judge Scott by what other men have done. That wouldn't be fair. And Scott also asked me if I'm currently seeing someone or have a boyfriend. Why ask that if he just wants sex? Why should he care whether I cheat or not if I was with someone if he just wanted sex from me?

I also wonder why Scott was so surprised when he found out I haven't dated because of my feelings for him. Does he not think someone could have such strong feelings for him or that he's not worth waiting for? Does he really think I dated during the time we've known each other? Or maybe thought I did after he left?

I feel so lonely with all of these thoughts. I had my therapy session on Tuesday and I went over a few things, but since my conversation with Scott last night, more has come up. Who else can I go to? I wouldn't go to any close or casual friends with this, and if I told my best friends, I know they wouldn't be very happy that I even let Scott through my door. Even if I did ask for someone's advice, they can't tell me what the right thing to do would be. I am completely alone with this.

I hope this isn't a losing game. I want to be treated right, as it's been such a very, very long time since I have been, and even then, it didn't last forever. I don't think it's too much to ask for.

Also, the sun right now is inconjunt/quincunx my natal Saturn -__- like why did this have to happen right now, on the weekend?

Also, I follow YouTube and Instagram tarot accounts and they're always super accurate for me, but I figured I'll post one just this time on here since it's so related to this. I watched this video after I wrote all of the above stuff. I usually only choose one deck with the YouTube readings, but occasionally two decks will have equal energy, which occurred this time.

Group #2 - go with the flow and blend in to catch people in off-guard moments to see who they truly are. Observe them and listen more (as a Libra, I can very much get quiet and simply observe, which I have been doing with Scott). You are too tired to be in the spotlight and need time for privacy with your love life, not telling friends or family about it. You don't want to put yourself out there and invest in someone to realize this person was with you for the wrong reasons. You are not over-sharing at this time. You value yourself and don't want to get hurt, so you're guarding your heart. You're still open, but just getting to know someone. You know how far to go and when to protect yourself. You don't want to make the same mistakes like you did in the past. You want clarity and guidance. Someone may behave in a stupid manner and may try to play you, thinking they're smarter. However there is an opportunity with a dark male, whatever that means for you. This is more about energy than physical appearance, and could just be someone with a lot of masculine energy. You are highly desirable so this man wants to be closer to you. This person wants longevity with you, not a whirlwind affair. You need to let your wall down a little bit to let them know you're into them as they may question it and get insecure. Only do this when you're sure of who they are and their intentions. They are adventurous and spontaneous, and they may try to show off how cool they are. They may get clumsy and nervous though. You might have commitment-phobia and might want to run or self-sabotage. Avoid this. Someone will be offering genuine love and interest, so do not worry. Surround yourself with love and spend quality time with others in your life where you can let your guard down.

Group #3 - an earth sign (Scott is a Capricorn) is here as a romantic connection. It's only a matter of time before you connect and sparks fly and you know you're for one another (I'd like to stay sober now to really feel out his energy and the energy of our connection). They are very promising. Do not pre-judge this person and give them a fair chance. Don't jump to conclusions. Allow them the chance to prove they're trustworthy and worthy of being a part of your life in a romantic sense. Stick to making progress with other areas of your life. Someone you know is not dependable and sincere, so don't trust in confiding with someone else about this situation. They might be jealous (I can see this being my mom, as she gets very jealous whenever I am with other people). You may feel like something is lacking in your life, maybe caused by someone else. Someone may leave your life as this new person enters. You will be happy this person leaves. Be aware of any future problems, there will be signs from the universe. Zesty energy, emotion, and passion is coming. Your guides are trying to protect you from yourself. Don't let your anger take over or you'll be sorry. Try not to be triggered by others. You're being called to take yourself on a date and spend money on yourself. Remember to practice self-love. You can only feel fulfilled in your love life if you feel fulfilled in yourself first. Others may set their own expectations for your love life. Don't seek others approval. Remind yourself we are not separate from each other. We are all energy. Don't be judgmental just as you don't want to be judged. Your love life will be full of generosity and spending time together. Your dreams can become your reality, but you need to make the effort. (I feel like maybe I need to focus on my healing more often than I am). Put yourself out there. (ugh. Scary). Someone is feeling like it's time to let go of holding on too deeply and may not think you'll ever end up together. Could be someone you friend-zoned and they will finally give up on you and see you moving on. (I've friend-zoned quite a few people, so it's possible).

So yeah, I guess July has a lot of potential, and both readings were scary-accurate for how I'm currently feeling and perceiving things. So either Scott is out to deceive me or he has really good intentions. Guess I'll find out soon.

[inspired-by-the-music]

Ardently

Part One: First Impressions

Pairings: Kyungsoo x OC, Jongin x OC

Genre: enemies to lovers

Word Count: 2k

taglist: @jineunwootrash​

Note: (oof a long note, here we go) Here is the first chapter from a Kyungsoo fic I will be working on. This is based on Pride and Prejudice; it is set in present-day, in the K-Pop industry. I’m experimenting with writing in first person, and the main character is named Maisa. There will be a few original characters in this story, and I am very excited because this is the first time I will write a full-length fic for this blog that is not mostly a Social Media AU. I will likely not post the rest until I have finished the story just so I will have plenty of time to develop and edit my ideas without publishing plot holes, but I was just too excited about this idea to keep it all to myself. I realllllllly hope you like it! -Ash

I couldn’t remember the last time I saw Jongin. The many years we spent together as children didn’t prepare us to be separated for months at a time because of his busy schedules as an official S.M. Entertainment idol. Although he never failed to brighten my day through texts, phone calls, and FaceTimes, nothing compared to seeing his smile in person. 

Will Taemin be somewhere in this building? I wondered as I approached the S.M. building where Jongin asked to meet. Surely he’s here somewhere. SHINee has just finished a tour in Japan. 

I squirmed at the thought of Taemin, not because we had some kind of disagreement or because I was as starstruck as almost every other person in the world, but because I had been avoiding him for what now seems like a very childish reason. 

Taemin had ventured far beyond the poor town we— he, Jongin, and I— had been raised in, and his fame grew daily. I wasn’t jealous— not maliciously, anyway— but I felt that he and I were living in very different worlds, and I worried that if I spent too much time with him, he would realize it too. 

This fear would have threatened my friendship with Jongin, too, if he wasn’t so determined to honor our childhood promise to be best friends forever.

However, when he smiled warmly as he stepped through the glass doors and drew me into a tight embrace, my fear was quickly quelled and replaced with confidence that Jongin would remind grounded at my side no matter how high his talents dared him to soar. And I couldn’t decide if that made me feel relieved or guilty. 

“So where’s this little restaurant you’re so obsessed with?” I asked as he released me. 

Pointing across the street, he replied, “Just there.” And when I tried to follow his directions he grabbed me by arm and said, “But first— I’ve convinced one of the executives to meet with you!”

"What?" My jaw dropped.

How had I not seen through the lunch invitation that thinly veiled Jongin's thousandth attempt to coerce one of his bosses into giving me a job? I had likely forgotten about that goal of his since his efforts never succeded past a few uncomfortable phone calls where I stubbornly maintained that, "I don't want to owe you or Taemin." But now that he dragged me into the building, a conversation with some professional executive seemed inevitable. 

"Ew!" Jongin shrieked and dropped my hand as soon as the elevator doors closed behind him and effectively trapped me into his plan. "Your palms are really sweaty." While wiping his hands off on his jeans, he advised, "You should see a doctor about that."

I argued," Clammy palms are a natural response to sudden extreme stress!" Still, I blushed at his observation and tried to pass my colored cheeks off as a symptom of annoyance by asking, "How could you trick me into some kind of job interview? I was promised sushi!"

Jongin laughed, probably mistaking my authentic blossoming panic for theatrics. "Don't worry, Mai, you'll still get your sushi-- you'll just get a chance at your dream job first."

His natural optimism should have been some sort of comfort. Instead, I crossed my arms, pressed my back against the cold steel elevator door, and mumbled, "Don't be ridiculous, Jongin, nobody would hire some random girl off the streets to write songs-- especially not one of the big three."

Ever determined to disagree, Jongin grabbed my shoulders, looked me in the eyes, and  reminded me, "You're not just some random girl-- you're my best friend, you're insanely talented, and on the off chance that Mr. Lee doesn't see that, I'll get you a meeting with everyone in this industry until you're hired."

Maybe it wasn't the best pep talk in history, but I swear that Jongin's smile could inspire anyone to do just about anything, so I shamelessly followed him out of the elevator, holding my head high. I only faltered when he stopped abruptly and said, "Wait here. Let me make sure Mr. Lee isn't busy."

Instantly, my confidence evaporated. The hall was eerily silent except for the clicking of keyboards that escaped from the  few open office doors, so I quietly hissed, "You mean you don't even have an appointment?"

Jongin held a finger up to his lips. Perhaps sensing my screaming instinct to run, he repeated, "Wait here. I'll be right back." He tapped his knuckles against the sleek black door, just under a gold sign that read Soo-man Lee: CEO, and he winked at me before entering the room at Mr. Lee's beckoning. 

Suffice it to say that I wasted no time racing back to the elevator once Jongin was out of sight. It wasn't that I wanted to disappoint Jongin or seem ungrateful of his efforts, but meeting the CEO of S.M. Entertainment seemed like a giant leap rather than the first step toward my dream of composing music. The fact that I was unprepared and uninvited made the whole situation feel like a nightmare-- not at all like a dream come true. 

As my tennis shoes slapped against the marble floor, I decided that I could easily beg for Jongin's forgiveness, and he would kindly grant it, but I could never reclaim my pride after being rejected by S.M. I could never recover from the crushing determination that I wouldn't get to achieve my dreams alongside Jongin and Taemin. I preferred to keep telling myself "someday, someday soon," because then I would never have to face the absolute of "never--you aren't good enough."

When did I become so paralyzed by fear? My thoughts stunned me. I considered myself bold, unafraid to speak my mind, in all manners except the pursuit of my deepest dream. What good is it to be brave except when it really counts?

As I struggled to no avail to find an answer within myself, somebody rounded the corner at a sprint and collided with me. With what felt like a  thundering crash, I fell onto my back. My string of curses complimented that of whoever ran into me, but I was initially too dazed to glance at him. 

When I finally sat upright and glared at him, prepared to lecture him for failing to offer so much as an apology, I noticed that he was too busy gathering his scattered papers to even realize that he knocked me down. I was going to ask where he was going that was so important-- or if he had ever heard of a paperclip-- but I was shocked into silence when he looked at me over his glasses with eyes blown wide. 

I never imagined that I would meet Do Kyungsoo while running away from a job interview with the CEO of S.M. Entertainment that was set up by my best friend to help me achieve my dream. Actually, I never imagined that I would meet him at all, and I certainly never dreamed that he could be so rude as to ask, "Who are you looking at?"

Overwhelmed by an unprecedented blend of awe, embarrassment, and blind rage, I stuttered around an answer until he dismissively waved my babbling away. "Forget it. I don't have time for this."

Once I was away from him, I knew, I would think of a thousand ways to put him in his place. I wondered, what good is wit when it isn't quick when it counts? Quickly, I resolved to scramble to my feet and out of the building before matters could worsen. 

"Hey wait." 

I never would have admitted that my heart swelled with the rise of his voice because I assumed that he would apologize (for running into me and then for being so rude) and that I might be lucky enough to have one of those romantic first meetings that I learned about from Jane Austen and K-Dramas alike. 

But when I turned to face him, he stood tall, papers in hand, pushed the glasses further up the bridge of his nose, and ordered, "Bring me coffee and a cinnamon bagel from the kitchen; I'll be in Mr. Kim's office."

Had he not been staring right at me, I would have thought he was talking to somebody else.

Only when he turned around, started down the hallway, and freed me from his oppressive gaze did I find my voice. "No, I won't get your breakfast. First of all, it's well past noon, and second, I don't know where that is!"

Kyungsoo rounded again, his mouth slightly agape as if he assumed I was mute. His eyebrows knit together as he asked, "You don't know where the kitchen is? Or where Mr. Kim's office is?"

"Neither."

Unwilling to hear the explanation that this was my first (and likely only) time in the S.M. Building, and I wasn't here of my own choice, and-- above all-- I was not his servant, Kyungsoo demanded, "What good are you then? Does the help around here know anything these days?"

And just as I stormed toward him, dangerously close to succumbing to my temper's urging, Jongin appeared at Kyungsoo's side, locked eyes with me, and cheered, "There you are!"

Jongin would have had to be blind to miss how Kyungsoo and I glared at each other, each silently daring the other to say just one more word to justify our impending outburst. In what must have been an attempt to lighten the mood, he laughed, "I should have known you would run off to catch a glimpse of your bias."

I opened my mouth to rob Kyungsoo of the flattery by telling Jongin that I officially decided to change biases, but I was interrupted by Kyungsoo asking, "So you know this girl?"

Jongin joyfully thew an arm around my shoulders and, contrasting greatly against Kyungsoo's disgusted, disbelieving tone, cheerfully declared, "Oh yeah! Maisa has been my best friend forever. And you should get used to her, D.O., because she's gonna be the best songwriter in S.M.'s history!"

Jongin's boasting about me was never quite as humiliating as right then, when Kyungsoo simply rose his eyebrows and questioned, "She will?"

Don't misunderstand-- I wasn't offended because I was oozing with self-confidence or because I was so convinced that I was destined to be some composing legend. In fact, I had absolutely no confidence that Jongin's last-minute surprise interview would work to my advantage in the slightest. Had he not offended me from the moment our eyes met, I would have agreed that Kyungsoo's skepticism was supported by all rationality, but given the events of those past five minutes, I literally bit my tongue to keep from snapping at him for Jongin's sake. 

Without missing a beat, Jongin answered, "Definitely," and steered me back to Mr. Lee's office before I could bite through my tongue or say anything regrettable. 

Once I regained control of my thoughts, I started, "What a-- a--"

But I struggled to fathom an insult becoming of Kyungsoo. Finally, I settled on screaming, "Douche canoe!" with no concern for whether Kyungsoo, Soo-man Lee, or anyone else in the building heard. 

Jongin must have expected a tantrum, because he merely blinked and warned, "You shouldn't let Kyungsoo under your skin." He leaned against the wall beside the CEO's door, tried to nudge me out of my frustration, and claimed, "Seriously, Mai, he's just not one for first impressions--"

Although unamused, I laughed. "That has to be the biggest understatement ever. He isn't even half as pleasant as the most disagreeable character he's ever played--"

"Maisa!" Jongin interrupted. I only closed my mouth when I noticed his protruding pout. "We'll talk about Kyungsoo later because I know you're not gonna get over it any time soon. But for now, get in there and convince Mr. Lee that you belong in an office brainstorming lyrics, not locked away in the kitchens!"

I barely managed to quizzically repeat, "The kitchens?" before being shoved into the office. 

[jamkookies]

Okay

Description : A trip to Malta for the shooting of Bon Voyage seems peaceful enough until the moment things take an unexpected turn...

Word count : 3.3k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Please, sir! I'm begging you! Open up, please!"

It was surprising how the both of you hadn't even moved an inch despite the cries that had begun to turn downright hopeless but as Jungkook's arm shields your body defensively, you decide that you just can't take it anymore.

"Jungkook, we should take a look." you say hesitantly, turning your head in his direction.

"No way. It's a trap." he claims. "I'm sure of it."

Your eyes keep boring holes into the door as if your vision could penetrate it.

It's quiet for a while.

Maybe he left.

Maybe he-

A thunderous boom to the door.

"We have to at least take a look, dammit!" you exclaim and push his arm away, now decisively heading towards it.

"Wait!" Jungkook yells after you but instead of stopping you, he joins your side. Before you can make any further attempts, he mushes his face onto the platform and looks into the tiny peephole. Curiosity can hardly keep you still.

At last, Jungkook retreats and motions for you to take a look as well but you don't know whether to expect a garnison of soldiers or a horde of wild bisons behind the door because the expression on his face is unreadable.

The cold surface of the platform touching your forehead only makes you grow even more uncomfortable. Then, your eyes are able to discern an obscure figure behind the magnifying glass. "You've got to be kidding me, " you whisper as your eyes naturally widen.

This could not be.

Him, out of all people....

Both you and Jungkook exchange a look of silent agreement and he pushes the open button with no words needed. The door swings open to reveal a slightly dishevelled-looking man with multiple cuts and bruises marking his face. Those eyes you'd seen gleaming with vigilance are now tired, drowsy yet still scarred with horrors you could only imagine. You'd never forget those eyes because they had been the ones that had given you a chance to escape, a chance to save yourselves.

"What are you doing here?" Jungkook wonders, not bluntly but rather in a puzzled demeanor.

"Let me in, please. I'll explain everything, " the old bodyguard says and throws a look behind his back and down the stairs.

You and Jungkook exchange another look and then the latter opens the door wider, giving him space to enter. The bodyguard's face almost melts in relief upon the gesture. He crosses the doorstep in two huge strides, putting the farthest distance from it.

From the moment the lock clicks back in place, a deafening silence hangs into the air, adding even more to the suspense.

You decide to break the ice first. "What do you mean they're gonna kill your family?"

The bodyguard takes notice of where your eyes are fixed and he unconsciously touches a bruise on his chin. "Actually, I lied about that. I had to convince you to open the door."

Your anger flares like wild fire but before the flames can grow higher he quickly compensates for his mistake. "I'm really sorry. I had to.They...they did some things to me...I'll explain everything but I don't have much time."

"Why?" you demand. "Are they following yo-"

"What are you doing here in the first place?" Jungkook interrupts.

The man appears to be going through an internal conflict as his eyes shut tight, hands clench and unclench and the line of his eyebrows angles into a wide V. His distressed condition explained so much and yet so little. His eyes that up till now had been staring at the ground, lift to level up with yours and then flick to Jungkook's. "I went through hell itself to get here unnoticed. I'll have to go soon. But before I do, there's something you should know."

* * *

As much as Jungkook refused to drop the disgruntled attitude, he still made the man sit on the couch and then proceeded to offer him a much needed glass of water. The man drank and drank and drank like he'd forgotten its taste and freshness and after his thirst was sedated, he started chirping like a bird.

"First of all, I want to apologize about trying to take you by force back in Malta, even though in reality it was not my choice."

"We'd figured that out, " you confirm. "But why did you help us escape?"

You'd been racking your brains out for a long time now, trying to come up with a logical explanation but no answer fit in the frame. You just couldn't understand why he would put himself in danger so you could run away.

It didn't make any sense.

"I couldn't just let them take you like prisoners, " he says. "I had to at least give you a chance because I myself wasn't given one."

Jungkook's brows wrinkle in confusion. "What do you mean?"

A look of something like shame casts upon the man's face and he stares at his clasped hands. "When I first got this job, I didn't know what I was getting myself into. Being a bodyguard, I had taken everything into account, including the fact that I would probably have to give up my life at some point but I never thought I'd be involved in criminal affairs."

Criminal affairs? What was he talking about?

"I thought it was normal at first. I thought this was how things normally went but when you decided to go to that trip in Malta I realized that I couldn't get out of this sucking hole no matter how much I tried. And the worst thing about it is that you've had to suffer along all this time without even knowing it."

Jungkook raises a hand to stop him. "Whoa whoa whoa, hold on there a second. Are you talking about Sejin making Y/N leave? And the the thing at the plane? I know he went a little too far but-"

"You think that's a coincidence?" the man shoots back. "He set everything up. From the tickets to the hotel to everything. Every single piece of it was planned out."

Your teeth grind against each other with a mixed state of anger and shock putting them into action. When you throw a glance at Jungkook's traumatised form, tears start to form at the corners of your eyes. The man's statement seemed to had jarred him to the bone and rendered him speechless, incapable of forming a coherent thought.

"I apologize for that, " the man continues. "I didn't want to say it straight away because I knew it would come as a shock to you but Mr.Sejin is not who you think he is. I've had to live with this knowledge for years now."

For a moment, Jungkook's eyes clear up and he blinks a number of times till his attention is completely aimed at the man's face. "Is this a joke or something? Did he send you here to play with us?"

The man's expression remains stoic, forever expressionless but even through his mask you could make out the scars of horrendous truths.

He wasn't lying.

You both knew that but you just couldn't accept it, even though deep down you had always sensed that the origin of your ordeals had been somehow designated.

The said bodyguard points a finger at his face. "You see these bruises, sir? They gave them to me as a punishment for not being able to bring you back. Beat me up till I fainted. When I woke up they made it clear that this time the job had to be done properly. That's why I'm here. To bring you back. But I won't be doing that. I'm here to make sure that you know who you're dealing with. I don't have the authority to talk with his superiors. Trust me, I've even tried to but he's always one step ahead of me." He smiles sadly. "I've gotten countless warnings because of that."

Jungkook puts his head in his hands and agressively ruffles his hair. "How long has this been going?"

The man doesn't hesitate. "6 years. Since the moment Ms.Y/N set foot on that company. He was obsessed with the idea of a boy-group only and didn't want any other intruders. I can witness the number of times he complained to his superiors about not letting her join. He kept pestering them, kept telling them all sorts of things but PD-nim was the one who insisted on taking her. After that he was absolutely furious. You should've seen the way he flung things around in his office. It made me scared for a moment."

He releases a long-kept sigh and shakes his head dreadfully.

"This went on for as much as I can remember. He never changed, always kept making attempts into kicking her out and covered it with a fake smile. But this time he had it all planned out to the smallest detail and couldn't afford to just brush it off as usual. That's probably his biggest mistake so far. He just couldn't stand hiding in a bush anymore so he went 'go hard or go home' I guess."

All this new information was making your head spin. Your mind wasn't helping either, continuously attaching images to the words, helping build up the portrayal of the man who had detested you for so many years, piece by piece. To say that you'd been dismayed was an understatement. You just couldn't believe your ears, couldn't wrap your head around the idea.

"What exactly had he planned?" asks Jungkook with a tint of hesitation in his voice. Understandable enough, taking into consideration the fact that he was fed up with the truths he'd heard. The bodyguard takes a sip from his glass and gulps audibly. He keeps throwing nervous looks at the door, as if waiting for someone to burst in.

"If you can remember....the accident with the saesang girl...."

No

Not that

Anything but that

"It was not an accident, " he confirms. "Your manager planned it."

No

No no no no no no-

"He hired that girl knowing she was a saesang and told her what she had to do. He promised her Jungkook would be hers if she managed to get the job done. That night, when you sneaked out into the forest, it's like you offered yourselves to her in a silver platter. And that's how it went. She took care of everything; the car, the tools, even her assistant."

He shakes his head and you see a melancholic smile cast upon his lips as he looks directly at you. "Stupid girl. She hated you so much to the point where she even ignored Sejin's orders for a moment. He'd never intended to kill you. Obviously, he wasn't that stupid. But she didn't care at all. Thought about getting rid if you since she had the chance and went all-psycho. Unfortunately for her, you managed to escape and that's when Mr.Sejin got angry. Really, really angry. His face got all red and puffy and when Namjoon-ssi tried to talk to him, worried about you gone missing, he yelled in his face."

Joon.

You can almost feel the nostalgic taste of the word in your tongue. It was like smelling that familiar aroma of fresh flowers that grew in your back yard and being swept into a wave of old memories. Sick of you, to not think enough about him all this time, when all he'd ever did was worry about you.

You missed them. All of them. So much to the point where it hurt.

Were they okay?

Now that you were certain about your manager's intentions, you couldn't help feeling concerned about the rest of the boys.

Unaware of your thoughts, the man continues with his story. "And things got even worse when she shot you and you jumped into the stream. I guess she panicked. Her voice was literally shaking from the other side of the phone during the call with manager-nim. I don't know what she said exactly but it still didn't make him give up. After all, he had to prepare for the grand finale."

Jungkook's sharp intake of breath switches your attention to him. You examine his face carefully, looking for any signs of panic but nothing makes it to the surface.

At least not yet.

"-called the ambulance to make sure you wouldn't die."

The momentary distraction had made you zone out and you're only able to catch the last part of the phrase.

"Then what?" Jungkook asks softly.

It's like the man's physiognomy is put into action; eyelids blinking furiously, lips opening and closing, hands fumbling with each-other. He seems nervous to keep talking and that only puts Jungkook on edge even more.

"Then what? " the latter insists. Bolder this time.

The man chokes the words out. "Th-then you wrestled with that girl's assistant. And-"

"And I killed him." Jungkook finishes for him. You notice the way his eyes turn glassy and distant, as if they'd travelled back in time, recalling the events.

"No, sir. He's alive."

Both yours and Jungkook's head snap in his direction with lightning speed.

Had you just imagined him saying that?

"What?" you voice.

"He didn't kill him, " the man confirms and this time you can clearly see his lips matching the words. "It was all a trick."

Clash

"No!"

Tiny little glass shards scatter across the floor, but you don't even have time to react as another loud noise joins it.

"No!" Jungkook yells again after taking out the anger on the second vase. " I don't believe you! You're lying!" He's fully risen to his feet, his chest puffed from breathing too hard. You've never seen him like this, so angry and panicked and scared.

"He's alive, sir. I'm not lying. They enacted the death-"

"Shut up!" Jungkook screams.

"-to make Y/N-ssi feel guilty and leave. Please, sir. You have to listen to me. You did not kill anyone."

A storm of emotions drowns you whole and it's impossible to pinpoint a particular feeling in the midst of all the chaos. Pain, sadness, relief, anger. They all come as a flooding mess, an absolute wreck.

But none of that matters now.

Not as you notice Jungkook from the corner of your eye, slowly sink to the floor and curl into a ball. It's just like that night at the hotel. He rocks back and forth with no awareness of his surroundings, completely lost in his despair.

The storyteller gives him a perplexed look. He must be wondering why Jungkook was reacting this way, why he didn't sigh in relief upon the news of his innocence.

That's because the man didn't know what the idea of killing someone had done to him and how hard it was to just rip that thought out of his mind. He'd convinced himself over and over that he was guilty, that he was a murderer. You'd witnessed it yourself during all those restless nights filled with nightmares driven by his own conscience. You'd both tried to speak as little as you could about it by trying to avoid that fact but now that he's given up and let himself fall apart, you're able to see how it had ruined him beyond repair.

You glare at the bodyguard to stop him from going further and rush to Jungkook's side on the floor.

And your heart shatters into a million pieces.

He's sobbing like a little child.

A grown-up man turned into a little kid just like that, with his arms wrapped around his knees, head buried low within.

You carefully approach him and crouch on the floor, putting a hesitant hand on his shoulder. "Kook..."

He doesn't even acknowledge your presence and his sobs only seem to increase but that doesn't discourage you from throwing your arms around him in a wide hug.

"It's okay, Kook. You're okay."

Suddenly, his hands wrap around your waist and he hugs you so tightly, you almost fall back. You thread your fingers through his dark silky hair and pat his head.

Another choked sob escapes his throat.

Oh how you wished you were the one suffering, not him. If only you could take all his pain from him, you'd gladly do it. You'd do anything for him.

His fists scrunch the fabric on the back of your shirt as hit tears spill on your collarbones.

"You're okay, you're okay, shhhhhhh." you whisper in his ear.

All is forgotten by now. The only thing you can focus on is to let him know that you were here, that you understood, and that it was okay to feel like this.

It was okay not to be okay.

* * *

You'd lost all sense of time with Jungkook in your arms that you'd failed to even throw a look at the man in the corner, silently waiting for the situation to cool down.

"I'm sorry." you hear Jungkook's worn voice at the side of your neck.

"Don't be." you answer. "It's not your fault."

He finally unties his hands from your waist and takes a deep breath. A dark veil still hangs in his eyes but he tries to cover it up with a weak smile. However, the smile turns a tad bit more genuine when you cup his cheek with one hand and gently caress it.

"I'll get you some water," you say and make to get up but he grips your hand and looks up at you with pleading eyes.

"Don't go."

If you could choose to have an image branded at the back of your mind, this particular one would be it. Those big round eyes and the messy curls that fell over them carelessly, that scar on his cheekbone, the one you'd always loved, and the pouty lips under the frame of which a tiny mole showed.

You feel like crying and laughing at the same time.

Yet you still understand.

He needed the physical support as much as the he needed the emotional one in order to have something to hang onto. A safe harbor to keep him from straying off into the dark corners of his traumas.

"Okay." You sit back down and Jungkook clings onto your arm almost immediately.

"Sir, " the man finally decides to speak. "I'm really sorry about everything."

Jungkook nods in affirmation.

You're just about to add something when the man's inner pocket of his coat starts to vibrate.

He gulps.

Looks at the door.

With shaking hands, he reaches inside his coat and retrieves his phone.

"It's him." he says upon taking a look at the screen.

Your senses tingle with a mind of their own. What you'd been talking about all this time takes the form of a man. The source of all your fears and sufferings.

The floor suddenly grows uncomfortable.

Bzzzzzzzz

It's like the vibrations are digging into your brain, each buzz more unbearable than the other.

The man can't seem to take it anymore. He taps on the phone and pushes it to his ear.

A gruff voice joins the line.

You're not able to catch any of the words but the man's face says it all.

Something happened.

"Don't hurt them, " he croaks.

More yelling on the other side of the phone call.

Then, silence.

At this point you don't know what to expect. You tightly squeeze Jungkook's leg in reassurance.

The man's begging eyes turn to plead with yours, desperate, hopeless. "I'm sorry, " he says and runs off to the door.

But instead of leaving, he pushes the open button.

And waits.

Your heart leaps in your throat when a dozen other bodyguards rush inside.

[pangolin-404]

Delving into what chapter 2 of Bendy: Rewritten (or just the side scroller AU, as a couple people have called it- still working on a vaguely clever name hh) would be like, where there are choices and reactions! More canon divergence! Things set up and hinted at!

The background music changes. No shame to batim's music, I quite like it, but it can be better. Whenever Sammy's around (carrying the cutout, looking over the band room, giving his ritual spiel) a banjo is added to the bg track. The followers get string instruments, more added depending how many are in the room. The sacrifice room is mainly string instruments

Sammy is somewhat a lost one. He loses his buff rights and is a mix of his pre- and post-update designs. I say somewhat because, while he is skeletal, he drips a lot and doesn't really have feet.

Sammy actually has followers. It can be pieced together from notes and dialogue that he split from the Lost Harbor after a close run in with Bendy permanently mangled his body and converted him to worship. He brought a few other lost ones with him (like, only a dozen but a couple died on the way). They wear Bendy masks, too, yet he's the only one wearing pants (mostly to hold his legs together). He also wears gloves to hold his fingers together, and only takes them off for brief periods to play an instrument before having to put them back on. Bendy left him with a lot of lasting damage

They all look the same and they know it hh

He's a proper prophet figure now that people look up to him. If Henry can find them huddled around a statue in prayer or drawing a ritual circle, they will talk about how much hope he gives them and how kind he is, despite how strict or overly optimistic he can be at times.

The followers' opinion of Henry changes with his behavior. Suggest Sammy is nuts? Say Bendy is evil? Drink too much soup? Break cutouts? They don't like that. Ask to learn more, give them some fresh soup, maybe even draw Bendy for them if Henry comes across fresh paper, and they'll appreciate it.

The cutouts are decorated with soup and candles. Drink a couple cans and the followers won't notice, drink more and they'll be upset, drink them all and they'll get concerned. Ink rats will scuttle out of hiding and can be found licking the empty cans.

Oh yeah you think humans were the only thing the ink affected? No there are ink rats and they scuttle around. Sometimes they become an enemy if multiple melt/fuse together and it's just a Lump Of Rat

"Did you drink the soup?" "No, did you?" "We don't have mouths! We can't eat!" "Who drank all the soup then?" "I don't know, but now there are rats everywhere!"

The whole chapter 2 area is bigger, kind of. Lots more signs of being lived in, with offices turned into little bedrooms and such. The followers are shy, though, and lurk behind locked doors, so finding them is tricky. Signs of life are everywhere but finding the life itself is difficult. Finding ones that talk more than a sentence is even harder.

Sammy is unhinged. Well-meaning, but ultimately mentally...cracked. He claims to have visions he interprets, but it's ambiguous whether they're nightmares/dreams or if Bendy's messing with him. He genuinely believes that Bendy will set them free, and he wants the best for his sheep. He'd be amicable if he wasn't trying to sacrifice Henry.

Instead of pressing the switches to open that first door, Henry had to find a pipe valve. A new "mechanic" of sorts is draining flooded halls. Ink pours down from piped above in an unpassable wall, and one or two valve are needed to shut it off completely.

Remember those notes I mentioned earlier? Well, some found around the music department contain buckets of how the followers see Sammy and their situation in general. They range from "oh hey here's Sammy's favorite tune-" to "note: don't play the organ! D:"

It's possible to find old newspapers and comics. Some of the pictures have been carefully cut out and pasted on the walls in various memorials, ranging from Bendy letting them outside to Sammy being "blessed" by the Ink Demon.

Some of the more petty depictions paint Alice as a jerk. She's an angel, he's a demon, so they're opposites. Since Bendy's so great, she must be awful! Rumors of a cruel Alice in deeper levels are hinted at.

The band room is slightly different. The projector's bulb is burst and there's a sticky note on it saying something about how touching it when you're made of ink is a bad idea, and to fix the projector before Sammy notices. Henry has to find a lightbulb and fix it now before he can turn it on.

The fight after opening the sanctuary affects the followers' opinions. They begin to realize what Sammy has in store for Henry. Killing all the searchers make them either makes them wince or frustrated, depending on their view on him up til that point.

I feel like you could probably click/interact with the banister to look over and it shows a still image of the band room below, and it shows whether or not the projector is fixed/playing and also shows any Bendy cutouts that pop up. I tried to draw that but couldn't get the angle I wanted, so

Sammy's sanctuary is like...just a big ol Bendy shrine. It's also where he sleeps, writes songs to Bendy, and where his banjo is kept. He has a Bendy plush on his bed

The further the chapter goes on, the quieter the followers are to Henry. They're gathering candles and offerings of personal belongings. They might be bittersweet, neutral, or glad to be away from him, depending on Henry's actions.

Jack is important to Sammy. They worked closely together and so they somewhat remember each other. He acts as Sammy's personal treasurer and doesn't let go of anything given to him. The first encounter with Jack is relatively the same, with needing to grab a valve from him. However, instead of holding the valve, it's sitting on the box

Henry's notes in his sketchbook also change depending on his interactions with things. If he annoys the followers and develops a bad relationship with them, he'll treat them like blind fools. If he helps them or is generally nice, he'll sound more sympathetic towards their situation and wish them well.

One is in the infirmary, badly hurt, missing a leg, practically a searcher, and delusional after getting just grazed by Bendy's aura. They believe they've been blessed by his presence, despite falling apart more and more by the hour (Bendy and any ink creature do not go together-). Henry can kill them and put them out of their misery, if he so chooses. The others won't like that.

Whether Henry kills him or not, Jack remembers. Getting items from him in the future becomes harder if he's killed multiple times, until eventually he's downright scared (I'll delve into more detail on the mess that is chapter 3). Befriending him completely later in chapter 3, on the other hand, will make the task easier.

Killing Jack triggers a horror vision. Henry briefly becomes unable to move, visibly distressed and looking around until the vision ends.

Not necessarily the sewers you first encounter him in, but close enough. You know you've entered an area Jack's in if there's a random item on a box that's under a light in an otherwise dim ink-flooded room

He goes through 'stages.' First the valve is on a box. Henry tries to grab it, but Jack (moving through the ink) pushes the box away. The methods of dealing with him is a messy web of cause-and-effect, with chances to crush him, corner the box slowly and steal the valve, it rush at it and cause it to slide off, or snatch his hat and bargain. (It's possible to steal his hat, kill him, and then keep/wear his hat, but why would you do that? Jack would forever loathe Henry and later on Sammy may ask for it back)

Nothing will stop Sammy from knocking Henry out. No matter how kind or cruel Henry is to his followers, Sammy will smack him over the head with a dustpan. He can't run, but the man can be sneaky if he wants to be, lurking through shadows and phasing in and out of the ritual portals.

(Clarification: because it would be a side scroller and the player could see Sammy sneaking up on Henry, instead there's a ritual circle on the wall that he'll jump out of when Henry walks past it.)

The sacrifice room is more of a hallway. The followers are all watching from the sidelines, peering through knocked out walls and over makeshift fenceposts. Candles and other offerings are around Henry. Sammy gives his spiel as always, first starting with a quiet "that face..." whispered mostly to himself but then using his Big Loud Musician Prophet voice to put on a show about how grand the sacrifice will be and how happy Bendy will be. The followers get excited for it.

Messy rendition but you get the picture

Sammy enters the room off to the side and calls for the Ink Demon. Ink leaks from the vents, and his aura is making some of the followers unsteady/weak. They become more restless, and unstable, until the calling reaches its climax (Sammy also sounds out of breath and his voice becomes wet and labored) and Bendy arrives out of sight. Sammy is torn apart, as per usual, though it's a slower, more audible mauling, and drags on through Henry's escape.

Some followers flee into the ink, while one or two are liquidated just by Bendy's aura. Others panic and attack Henry when he breaks free, messed up by Bendy's aura and so they resemble searchers.

Whether or not Henry powers through the onslaught or axes the frenzied followers may alter the number of followers he encounters later on, and (combined with how he'd treated them) how they react to seeing him again. "Oh I kind of remember you" vs "I don't blame you for using the axe" vs "Did you slaughter your way down here, too?"

Like in the updated chapters in game, the you can see ink machine lowering past crates/wood boards

Bendy actually pries himself up out of the ink with effort. Like, hands planted on the ground, lurching up, ink sloughing off of him, generally more detailed for a 2D animation.

Boris time! The boy himself peeks out from behind a wall before stepping out of the shadows

Feel free to send an ask for clarification/more detail about anything- I'm happy to go on more tangents!

[punkscowardschampions]

James & Ava

James: I'm so sorry James: I was supposed to be working Ava: Everyone's here, it'd be stupid to say I was surprised and yet Ava: it's fine though, right, because everyone is here James: If I did get caught up in regrets, this would be a good time James: because everyone may well be here but since you are, they may as well not be as far as every part of me is concerned Ava: You can't just say things like that Ava: and NOT expect me to blush Ava: at least it's hot out James: you know I don't expect anything James: least of all at this precise moment Ava: Sadly Ava: Aside from work, where have you been? Ava: No, the question is how, how have you been? James: other than the fact I can't help but notice you now or think about you since the 'then' of last seeing you in an entirely preferably context, I'm fine James: you look more tan, which means I don't need to ask how you are Ava: You are hard to miss Ava: but still undeniably gorgeous, which is really rather rude, actually Ava: I've not been kidnapped by anyone else Ava: lots of time to sunbathe and 'work', if that's what you're into James: if I blush it'll be a green screen effect of sorts, except very red, so don't try & make me, please James: you are incomparable as having the title of the only beautiful 🍅 James: which is, of course, what I'm into, along with what you just listed, as well as many things about you I easily could list Ava: As you asked SO nicely Ava: I too will be very, very good Ava: you are always unmatched with compliments and words too but beautiful 🍅 is up there as the top 😂 Ava: How easily are we talking? James: You must because this outfit has an unmistakable 😈 countenance to it & despite the fact that's less in the sense of roguishness I would like & more in the guise of a child's cartoon creation, it nevertheless still casts you as an 😇 James: thank you James: oh, the ease is almost indescribable itself, ironically Ava: I can't decide if it'd be cruel or a kindness to say you are not the only, nor indeed the most, cartoonishly dressed man here Ava: It's a shame not everything is that easy Ava: or you could regale me over a drink James: perhaps it exists to be both, or to allow you the chance of being cruel to be kind James: in the way that the best offer I can make is, that I order you a drink that we then consume at the same time James: safer but no kinder for being that Ava: Dichotomies are just where things get really interesting Ava: I can handle that James: in the world of rewrites there's one where we're here together & another where we're somewhere else entirely, where we would rather while away these warm hours James: those possibilities are interesting to me Ava: Those are more than interesting Ava: especially the way you tell them James: tell me where you wish you were Ava: Okay, though it feels dangerous to let my imagination wander, it won't want to come back Ava: not in such an uninspiring reality, and especially not if I let it go to you Ava: if we could be anywhere Ava: it probably sounds seriously unimaginative, given the open-ended possibility of the scenario, but my favourite place is my rooftop garden, off from my bedroom, it's so peaceful and hidden and mine Ava: I'd like to take you there James: It doesn't sound in the least un-anything & I can definitely work with that James: [casually but not at all casually just writes them an au life, all the while Chlo is probably like get off your phone] Ava: James Ava: that is Ava: very close to perfect James: I'll willingly accept constructive criticism until it's perfect for you Ava: I don't know how capable I am after that Ava: and it's only not perfect because it's not happening James: but we'll meet in the rooftop garden one day James: dream it if you have to Ava: I've done nothing but dream of you since Ava: but will I have to Ava: can't we carve out even five minutes of time for us to just James: I want to say yes Ava: I know James: Ava Ava: and I know that sentence ended with a but, it's okay James: I heard you say earlier that it's fine because everyone is here, maybe it could be Ava: My friends are easily distracted, definitely Ava: your wife, though? James: it's unlikely she'll miss me for five minutes Ava: yeah? James: where? Ava: Okay, I've got it Ava: we drove here, Jacob just got his license and wanted to go somewhere Ava: I'll go to get something I forgot, follow me when it's safe James: okay Ava: Sadly, he doesn't have the Twilight soundtrack Ava: but we can make do James: I don't have the voice to do such classics justice but that's not to say I won't try my best to give you something you'll enjoy listening to Ava: I've missed your voice James: I won't stop talking until you don't James: a lack of words simply isn't an option around you Ava: might prove problematic when I tell you what else I've missed Ava: but we've got five minutes Ava: we'll make the most of it James: yes, we will James: until the next five Ava: How do you do it? James: how do I do what? Ava: have so much self-control James: is that how it appears? Ava: I know, me asking you Ava: I can see the irony but, yes Ava: it is how it appears James: I've never had less control over myself or the things I would like to do James: all traces there were seem to have ebbed away when we kissed in that club Ava: I'll apologize Ava: if that's what you want James: it's not James: because I've never been more grateful to lose something either Ava: Good Ava: because I don't want to be sorry Ava: it was so Ava: and you are James: I don't want to be in control, you can have it James: or not James: whatever you like Ava: I just want you Ava: Exactly as you are, exactly as you want to be wanted James: okay, I was possibly hasty when I said that there would always be words Ava: aren't you aware of how entirely wantable you are? James: no Ava: I've got the keys Ava: come find out James: [obviously does as soon as he can] Ava: [lowkey pulling him into this car] James: [thank god there actually would be so many people there, Chloe's squad included cos we busy for a while here] Ava: [everyone's busy getting wasted you can have this, not for as long as you want but still] James: [yes because contrary to his wife's post he is not & will not be getting wasted] Ava: [you rude hoe] James: [if you only knew what he is doing bitch] Ava: [ha, just you wait sweetie, also glad you don't know rn, 'cos enjoy it lads] James: [always hooking up in cars, love that for you] Ava: [forever a sneaking mood] James: [JJ would approve] Ava: [#bonding] James: [it's gonna break their hearts when they have to go back] Ava: [I know, like how do you even just like well bye] James: [I literally always think that] Ava: [and someone always has to be the first to walk away] James: [in this instance it should be her because we all know she's the stronger one here] Ava: [yeah, you gotta girl] James: [bad bitch global like it's not killing you too] Ava: [this is all so fine, we just need to keep far, far away from wherever Chlo is and definitely give Teddy a wide berth too] James: [literally your mother's daughter rn as the world burns around you, nah it's fine] Ava: [tah for that skill mother] James: [god knows one of your children should inherit it] Ava: Can I have that drink you offered now James: yes Ava: thanks Ava: [just milling at the sidelines of the bar, so casually] James: [cannot and must not look at her which only makes it look more suspect tbh sir] Ava: [awkward, we know it's packed and this will take ages] James: [regrets that you say you don't have or do ever James but here we are, boy] James: [at least you can grab drinks for everyone you're with and pretend that's where you were some of the time] Ava: [we know no one is checking that hard, even Chlo, part-timer that she is, and that makes me sad tbh] James: [hard same] James: how many has Teddy bought for you since you've been here? Ava: just the two Ava: no Ava: three James: you better take mine as well then Ava: why? James: sibling rivalry or the fact you'll be trying to avoid him for a while, depending on from whose perspective Ava: Fair enough James: nothing feels very fair right now Ava: No Ava: also true James: would you like me to leave? Ava: No Ava: Do you want me to? James: of course not Ava: I'm not going to do anything to make this hard for you, James Ava: you know that, right? James: my life is already difficult, Ava, I should be saying that to you, making sure yours doesn't have to be Ava: You won't make my life difficult James: that isn't true Ava: How do you know? James: because Ava: Have your word not come back fully yet? James: because I've done this before Ava: not with me James: I'm involved, that's enough Ava: What do you want to say right now? James: I don't know Ava: Well, you can say it if you need to Ava: or you can not Ava: I'm fine James: how do you do it? Ava: how do I do what? James: be fine with this Ava: I like you Ava: I knew you were married Ava: what's the alternative for me James: I'm not going to point any out to you James: I don't want you to take them Ava: You know I don't want to either Ava: you haven't forgotten everything that just happened James: no, & that's why James: I like you but this is always going to be hard Ava: What's always? Ava: you haven't promised me anything but another five minutes James: Ava Ava: James Ava: You don't have to worry about me James: nevertheless, I do James: I will, because we don't get to decide how we care Ava: I know you're right Ava: and I know I care about you too and I feel the same James: I know I'd give you those five minutes now if I could James: so I want you to know it Ava: You've already answered the question you didn't pose Ava: I don't get to decide how I care any more than you do James: but you get to decide other things Ava: such as James: such as how far you're willing to take something James: or not James: if you think someone is deserving of how you care about them, or not Ava: that'd be a mutual decision, even if we got off at different points Ava: and yeah, though the jury is out on how much that helps you to stop if they aren't James: it has yet to be a mutual decision in any other aspect of my life Ava: Try it with me Ava: it's been mutual so far Ava: we want each other Ava: we have each other Ava: we both like and care about each other Ava: it's equal not the same James: okay, I'll try Ava: do you want to? James: yes Ava: Alright Ava: that's settled James: [finally does look at her like that's not risky as hell behaviour okay then] Ava: [smiling like that didn't kill you but it very clearly did like hi] James: [when you can't help smiling back cos she's such a cute babe and you have feelings] Ava: [just another filmic moment across this bar] James: [so casual so fine] Ava: [when you can't just run off again like you wanna] James: [nobody wants a drink this bad, the torture] Ava: [seriously] James: [we should say Teddy appears cos not gonna inflict Chloe on y'all ever and then he can grab him to talk before he sees her so Ava doesn't have to like the gentleman he is] Ava: [God bless you boy, soz Teddy it's not personal] James: [I would love to know why he thinks the vibe has changed between him and Ava recently/if he has even noticed lol] Ava: [at least he is a teen boy so he probably has no idea in general, like thinks she just doesn't fancy you back which is true but you know] James: [#confirmed when she throws her cousin at you at her party] Ava: [lil awks but we're fine] James: [they gonna fall in love it'll be cute] Ava: [it all works out in the end] James: [you're welcome for us not being as evil as we could be for once] Ava: [just on this one thing] James: [when you have to make awks smalltalk with your brother now who's probably wasted and you're not] Ava: [that'll be fun, just catching his eye well stealth like soz 😬] James: [the things you do for love] Ava: [gonna make one of your mates text Teddy to 'see where he is' so he'll leave James alone lol] James: thank you Ava: Bit rude he's got himself well more than three drinks 😏 James: however, potentially not the time for me to give him any kind of lecture, all things considered Ava: Perhaps not Ava: Sorry, I know it's weird James: it is, but you know I'm not feeling apologetic about it Ava: That would fall under a regret, so of course not James: I'm going to miss you though Ava: When? James: now Ava: Me too Ava: stand near me, in the next race? James: I may be good with words, but you're unbeatable in terms of ideas Ava: 😊 Ava: I try Ava: anyway, missing me is for when we can't be anywhere near each other, most of the time James: of course you do, hence Kings remains in continued mourning that they aren't your first choice James: arguably that could just be the standard atmosphere at The Vault these days, who can say? Ava: 😂 Ava: well I miss it too Ava: though probably not enough to bump it up the list James: I'll make sure to include missing things for the right reasons as one of the key messages in my book, don't worry Ava: Really, using you as a ploy when you won't even be there next year is well sneaky Ava: should've put that on my exit review James: at least they wouldn't ask me to do any further tours in the future if you had Ava: didn't you enjoy it James: the reason I did & the reason you miss The Vault's glorious atmosphere are one & the same Ava: if you put that on yours they'd definitely not ask you back James: I already have my wife's assurances that I won't be Ava: 😕 soz to next year's intake but I'm not that sorry really James: It's unlikely they'd be that unhappy, even if they knew what they were missing Ava: They would be if they really knew James: once the book comes out, I'll send them my condolences Ava: as long as you keep it out of my dedication, I'd be alright with that James: some flowers, wine or fruit, nothing too indelicate Ava: very thoughtful 😏 James: the budget can't stretch to bracelets for everyone, for which I am the least sorry I have ever been Ava: I'd like to be somewhat special Ava: and if anyone else tries it, it's definitely a scam, I'm sure of it James: I'll refuse to watch the Twilight saga with anyone else, darling Ava: Good Ava: Who else will explain all the nuances to you Ava: can't risk it James: I will not, some risks are beyond unnecessary Ava: never the novel, babe James: or the film adaptation, irrespective of any reservations the fans and critics alike may share Ava: 🤞 they don't think I'm nothing like your description of the girl James: if they do it's a slight upon my writing, heartbreaking perhaps but they are entitled to their opinion Ava: can't account for taste but lackthereof is always unfortunate James: it very much is, as this outfit I'm wearing attests James: the opposite is very much true for yours though Ava: I'm never looking to break your heart James: but? Ava: I might have tried a bit harder if I knew I was going to see you James: you look divine, radiant as ever Ava: You're so lovely James: as are you Ava: you Ava: when are you next free Ava: or how busy are you, probably a better question James: I'll get back to you, given that I'm here now when I was not supposed to be, clearly my schedule is more up in the air than I previously realised Ava: you think with it being such a calendar staple, you'd have had more notice on that James: that would involve talking to me, or wanting me have notice Ava: of course 🙄 Ava: if you were my husband Ava: or lived with me Ava: well, you understand Ava: I want to talk to you so bad James: if you were my wife you wouldn't have to drag me anywhere against my will James: because I want to spend time with you Ava: I won't make you commit bigamy to spend time with me, rest assured James: eloping would take longer than 5 minutes Ava: I know Ava: my family has a history James: yes, your brother's particular history still gets spoken about Ava: Unfortunately James: sorry Ava: His sorry to give, not yours Ava: and I'm not out here holding my breath over it James: of course, but I didn't intend to bring him up James: this situation is tense enough Ava: Yours is literally here Ava: like we said, weird, but not sorry James: okay Ava: Thank God, when you move away, one of the perks is you don't have to come to this kind of nonsense James: you're not having fun? James: I'm stunned Ava: animal abuse for gambling is what I live for James: I'm well aware of why I'm here, why are you? Ava: My friends are James: what are they? James: actual fans of animal abuse for gambling? Ava: I think they just like getting drunk Ava: and putting on nice outfits James: you can do that anywhere Ava: you don't get to wear a big hat Ava: I don't know James: perhaps they should all get married to each other, that's a basic requirement Ava: Give them a few years Ava: sure they will James: I'll be sure to check back in Ava: What's wrong? James: nothing James: I just don't like to think about you somewhere you wish you weren't James: with people who aren't the right people Ava: It's alright, we go places I like too Ava: and they aren't all bad James: happy to hear it Ava: even if they're all slightly too drunk right now Ava: so's most the crowd so Ava: fit right in James: I can get you a car, one that you won't have to wait for your friend to drive, whenever you like James: we aren't both stuck Ava: that's kind Ava: but then I would be at home Ava: no one's about so James: how tempting Ava: If only Ava: you are stuck though James: Technically, I can't leave until she tells me I can but what if I didn't? So far as she's concerned, I could still be James: fitting into that crowd of mostly too drunk people Ava: Is she that oblivious? James: she's had that much champagne Ava: Tempting is right James: if she realises, she'll call me & I'll come back Ava: Okay Ava: it isn't that far Ava: and it is hard being around you and not James: so take me to your rooftop garden James: I wanna go Ava: I don't take just anyone there, you know Ava: you're very lucky James: well I'm just happy to be on the list, however long it is James: & intend to show my appreciation accordingly Ava: it'd be ungrateful if you just stayed five minutes Ava: at least ten, okay? James: oh, I don't want that to be your lasting impression of me James: how long into Twilight does your favourite scene occur? Ava: I wouldn't wanna ruin your rep as a perfect gentleman, either Ava: although the best scene is at the end, I'll be pondering one that comes a little sooner Ava: not trying to take liberties here James: you don't want an ending yet, I understand James: me either Ava: exactly Ava: maybe we can get to the scene where Bella gets forced to go shopping with her friends and Edward comes to rescue her Ava: fitting James: another good idea Ava: we'll have to have a picnic instead of going out after though James: that sounds nice Ava: God knows what we have in Ava: could be interesting Ava: I'll feed it to you whilst you recline nonetheless James: thank you James: in that case, I'll barely taste it Ava: you will be very busy writing me poetry, yeah James: writing you as poetry, so nobody can make unfavourable comparisons when you make your acting debut, yes Ava: my drama teacher will be thrilled Ava: not that she'll be there, obviously James: I'd rather she wasn't Ava: 😂 Ava: Promise James: thank you James: she wasn't a member of my fan club Ava: What did you do? Ava: or not do James: I'm not sure I should tell you, it's not as if you need any help coming up with ideas Ava: Well now you have to tell me James: let's just say my time was not well spent, either back stage or on it, in her opinion James: at the time however, I had a great time James: as did my co-stars & most of the crew James: I'm surprised you haven't heard about it Ava: 😏 Ava: It's nothing personal, I'm sure your exploits are legendary Ava: I just don't go in for all that stuff Ava: who's who, who's dad is who, you know James: They were more fabled, as in, in need of a strong moral James: hence the cautionary tale I expected you to be well versed in James: but perhaps she's learned those are rarely effective Ava: After-school specials certainly aren't the height of theatre Ava: even if she's become more willing to branch into 21st century plays and productions Ava: I could ask around, if you like Ava: or you can tell me more in less vague terms when we're alone James: what would you like? James: to know who I was, to know who I am or both? Ava: If we only have time for the one today, I'll go with the latter Ava: but both would be nice Ava: if and when James: okay, I'll see what I can do Ava: I remember you, a bit James: oh Ava: You were friends Ava: for quite a while James: I suppose so James: hypothetically Ava: What do you mean? James: I mean, we weren't, really James: but as far as he was friends with any of us, or any of us were friends with each other, I fall into the category Ava: I suppose so James: should I ask what you remember about me? Ava: Nothing incriminating Ava: you were all the same, in that I was the kid sister who he definitely did not want around so James: I think I remember you ignoring that at least once Ava: Well, can't do what he says, obviously James: you're smarter than that Ava: even as a kid Ava: much to his annoyance 💔 James: he was easy to annoy, that I do recall Ava: Still is James: thank goodness he won't be there either then Ava: on many levels, yes, thank God James: the car has arrived though James: [deets so she doesn't get in the wrong one] Ava: 🙏 all the thanks Ava: coming James: I'm beyond happy to hear it Ava: [show up girl] James: [the 😍 are real af] Ava: [too real] James: [lowkey dragging her into this car but at least she isn't at the school gates in her uniform this time] Ava: [you know what would be evil-er than not letting them get there alone?] James: [tell me gal] Ava: [if one of her friends sees them leaving 'cos nosy hoes but they're too far away/she doesn't know who Ava is somehow so it's just like he was leaving with some bitch thought you should know, 'cos Chlo will be fuming to be so publically shamed] James: [yasss we have to] Ava: [I thought it'd be a good idea 'cos everyone knows her life a mess and her friends' clearly love it so they'd be 👀 him anyway] James: [like I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he fucked some of her friends when they were younger and he was a mess cos I feel like he didn't go to rehab and sort his shit until well after Jay was born] Ava: [we all know this group been messy, even if they're not as bad as her by now, like] James: [oh god she gonna be so raging I love it] James: [enjoy your car makeout while you can you two] James: [maybe she's a newer friend and that's why she doesn't know who Ava is] Ava: [that'd make sense, like either way, we don't need to drop that bombshell right now, but we can do the Chlo telling him to come back convo 'cos she's drunk so it'd be delightful] James: [yeah it'd make sense as well that if she's a newer friend she wouldn't know it's better not to get involved with their cheating and that whole mess, and yeah we simply must do that convo] Ava: [exactly, hence Chlo is probs crying on her rn for the scene of it all] James: [of course, nevermind the fact that you're probably fucking god knows who yourself] Ava: [honestly, what a fun time] James: [okay so he turns the car around and goes back leaving it up to her if she wants to get out and go back to her friends or go home still #awkward] Ava: [imma say she goes home 'cos Chlo probably spilled what's up before he can get back and clearly this friend is too involved and we don't need y'all being outed and them tryna fight you rn] James: [good call, what a downer though, poor Ava at least you can call Grace if you need to talk cos she knows] Ava: [no one needs that level of public shaming lmao] James: [except Chlo but not like this thank you] Ava: [hence even as wasted as she is, they'll be leaving too to have this argument a little more privately, joy of joys] James: [thank god the kids are already with her mum or wherever] Ava: [gonna be sleeping over tonight gals] James: [do you wanna pick this convo up later or like say they don't talk for a bit cos it's awkward lol] Ava: [up to you chicken, 'cos he'd probably have to start in considering how obviously shook/angered etc he would've been in the car so] James: [let;s say he leaves it til way later to the point she probably thinks he isn't gonna but I shall] James: she still doesn't know anything, you don't need to be concerned Ava: She must know something Ava: unless you made her believe her friend was lying, for some reason James: I should have said she doesn't know anything about you, who you are James: that's what I meant Ava: Okay Ava: that's for the best, no doubt Ava: are you okay? James: not really but I don't have anyone else to blame Ava: I'm sorry Ava: I assume there's nothing I can do? James: unfortunately not Ava: Yeah Ava: I shouldn't have said we could James: it isn't your fault James: I should've known better, I typically do, it's just that you aren't typical, at all James: I feel differently & I wanted things to be different so badly that I forgot they can't be Ava: How do you typically do it then? Ava: We could do that James: more carefully James: with less emotion Ava: I can do careful Ava: contrary to what today would suggest Ava: and before, probably James: like I said, it isn't your fault James: you're 17, why should you be careful, why would you want to? Ava: because I knew you were married Ava: and I want to see you James: I'll let you sleep, it's very late James: I just wanted to let you know that your identity is unknown Ava: If you need to say we can't then just say it Ava: because I don't care about either of those things James: whether I need to say it or not, I'm not sure I can & extremely sure I don't want to Ava: You can say anything to me Ava: just don't lie James: if I could see you now, right this second, I would, I haven't learned anything from this James: don't you see how dangerous that is? Ava: I see how dangerous it is Ava: if you want to stay with her Ava: why do you? James: there are two reasons & I have to go collect them both in a few hours Ava: Then I'll let you sleep James: nothing's that simple, Ava James: if only Ava: you don't want me to say anything in response to that Ava: or you wouldn't have brought them up James: you asked me why right after you asked me not to lie to you Ava: Yeah, I'm hardly meant to argue a point against it Ava: if that's how it is then that's how it is James: I don't have a choice, I've never had a choice, that's how it is Ava: Why? James: because I made mistakes that took them all away James: I'm a father now Ava: No, it's not that simple Ava: people separate, with kids as well James: it is that simple, if I want to keep seeing them, I have to be here Ava: You're their dad, that isn't as simple as that Ava: infidelity isn't a valid reason to not allow access James: if I were dealing with a rational person, perhaps Ava: You don't want to go through the courts Ava: so you're just going to stay with her and be unhappy forever James: I've got my reasons Ava: you said James: you don't understand & with respect I don't want you to have to James: my life is messy & complicated, we can't make it simple by wishing that it were Ava: Likewise, you don't have to tell me anything Ava: that's fine James: there's things that she & I have both done that mean I have to stay Ava: Why would she want you to Ava: if you cheat on her and clearly don't love her, and want to leave Ava: that doesn't make any sense James: appearances, finances, an inability to face the ordeal of starting her life over James: I don't know James: maybe she would like me to remain locked in misery with her forever Ava: Jesus James: I've not loved her for a single day, perhaps it's spite for never having done so James: or not about me at all Ava: does she love you? James: no Ava: that's horrible, James James: yes, it is Ava: how sustainable is it Ava: how long can you both live like this James: I try not to think about it, in case the answer for her is indefinitely James: but I'm sorry I dragged you into it, Ava Ava: You haven't Ava: don't apologize James: I didn't mean for this to happen Ava: I know you didn't Ava: but James: but I know, you're not sorry James: not yet anyway Ava: No, I am Ava: but I'm glad too James: I'd rather you were the latter but I can hardly expect it Ava: I am Ava: I can make you happy, even for five minutes Ava: I'll take it James: you do Ava: Good Ava: let me James: I'm trying to Ava: Just don't push me away Ava: if we have to be careful and not see each other for time because of the things in your life you can't control, that's fine Ava: just don't be the one to do it when you don't need to, okay James: it's really difficult not to when so often it feels like doing so would be better for you than anything I can actually offer & every instinct tells me that if I don't hurt you, she will Ava: Don't bother trying to tell me what would be better for me Ava: I want what you can offer, I don't care James: Ava Ava: You can think I'm stupid and 17 if you want but it won't change how I feel James: you're not stupid, that isn't what I think Ava: I care about you, James Ava: more than I care about the possibility of being hurt James: I care about you, more than I was ready for, but I'm trying James: I meant it, I do want to try & I don't want to hurt you Ava: I meant it when I said sorry Ava: I'm not trying to be more stress in your life Ava: just good Ava: but I know it's a lot, not that I planned it any more than you did James: I can handle stress, it's having something good which I'm not used to anymore Ava: Baby Ava: how can I make you feel better, like right in this moment James: if we can't see each other then I'd like to at least be able to hear your voice Ava: Okay, hold on Ava: let me get set up outside James: get a blanket, it was really warm earlier, you'll need it Ava: I've got a big sofa out here, I'll be cosy James: I don't mind if you fall asleep Ava: I don't want to, I want to talk to you 'til YOU fall asleep James: we can fall asleep together, the way we would if any of this was normal Ava: I want that Ava: too good of an idea, meant to be my thing James: it's about time I had one, don't you think? Ava: I'll allow it Ava: as I like it that much James: thank you Ava: Oh, James James: yes? Ava: just wanted to say it Ava: I'm ready now James: okay Ava: how quiet do I need to be? James: you don't Ava: noted Ava: [the call] James: [oh sweet babies, never gonna let Chlo ruin it, not soz] Ava: [deal with it, your reign of terror coming to an end hun] James: [the idea of them falling asleep together on the phone has made me die because it's so soft, goodbye cruel world] Ava: [not to make it weird or anything guys but Buster and Rio used to do that all the time so love that for you too] James: [literally had that thought] Ava: [when you're lowkey forced ldr by circumstances] James: [mhmm how annoying that'd be, like you're living so close to each other but you can't just see each other whenever you want] Ava: [literally the most frustrating] James: [at least if you're miles away or whatever you know you can't] Ava: [tea, 'cos like you could in many ways but you also can't] James: [^^^ that] Ava: [oh the willpower you'll need] James: [hence they don't last long before outting themselves because it's too hard] Ava: [^^yup and fuck you Chlo James: [you've stolen enough of his life] Ava: [time to do that convo moment though]

[untilthenextencore]

Kashmir Pt.1

As usual forever editing~.

Enjoy~!

...

Wandering blithely through his castle Robert sighed. It was now just past teatime & Lord Kidderminster had exhausted just about every form of entertainment that he could think to occupy himself, his mind or his time with. His affairs were all but done for the day and yet the day itself was far from done. And since he had decided to extend his morning ride earlier that day, even that beloved pasttime was off the table for the time being.

He had spent the day with his old friend Jimmy, or as he was known in the public sphere Lord Heston of Middlesex. Yet the mercurial older gentleman was not much in the mood for sunny pleasantries - when was he ever~?! - certainly not after he & Robert took their conversation into the library where it was then cut short by the fellow Count picking up a hefty, rather ancient looking tome off of one shelf & becoming quickly invested. When Robert jokingly asked if Jimmy would like to be left alone with his "new precious little thing" he was surprised - only initially - to find that the answer was a yes. And so he left "Old Blackbeard" to his own ever mysterious devices.

Suffice to say that Lord Heston's company left a lot to be desired that day...

Gazing out his window for what felt like the umpteenth time that day, Robert was stunned to find that the light rain that had been falling for some time, had recently ceased, giving the surrounding fields an almost dreamy haze. Mystical. The light from the sun peeking through & refracting through the lingering haze, shattering into shards of color that reached out into the misty air.

Through the mists Robert saw movement by a nearby pond. Intruders! Hooligans! Drunkards! No... Wait... Women... Girls in fact!... Young girls at that!... Two of them... A blonde & a brunette... Both dressed in while brief slip dresses until all of a sudden one wasn't. "Oh!" Robert gasped at the sight. She slipped out of her slip dress, laying it on the grass nearby as she dipped into the pond squealing a bit at the cold & then motioning for her dark haired friend to do the same. Robert watched the scene with rapt attention unaware that his lips were parting with the rasped request. "Oh, please God, yes!"

Indeed, outside at the pond the young strawberry blonde Sibella or Sibby was indeed trying to get her young dark haired friend Charissa or Rissa to join her. "C'mon, Rissa!" She laughed, splashing about both to acclimate to the cold water & to tease her shyer friend. They had started the day in gauzy white dresses with crowns made of little pink and white flowers. Her dress had since been discarded after the freak midday shower, both of their flower crowns bleeding petals into their hair.

Rissa gazed warily at her bold young friend, now as naked as the day she was born. She folded her right arm across her midsection, hand braced against the crook of her elbow. "I don't know, Sibby... This is an awfully big place here... Whoever owns this place probably owns this little pond thing too. Get dressed. Maybe we should go?"

Sibby just scoffed." Oh my God! You're such a scaredy cat! You mean you don't know?"

"Know what?" Rissa gazed at Sibby in confusion, leading to another incredulous scoff from the older girl.

"This place is Wolverhampton Manor! A bit away from Wolverhampton true but it is so named due to that being a favored haunt of the owner of this manor, Count K also known as Count Robert Plant, Robert Anthony Plant Lord Kidderminster of Worcestershire. His dearest friends included a driver who came into a title from a distant relative Count John Henry Bonham, Lord Clewer of Berkshire. And the most notorious rakehell of his day Count James Patrick Page Lord Heston of Middlesex."

The list of names and titles and places made Rissa's head spin, prompting her to exclaim with an incredulous laugh. "How do you know these things?!"

Sibby just shrugged. "I read about it in study hall once. Fastest I've ever gone through a history book in my life! Shame they're all gone now. From what I've heard they were gorgeous men the lot of them. But a lot of rumors surround them all. Things you wouldn't believe!"

"I bet." Rissa laughed. "What else could get you to read a history book so fast?"

This made Sibby laugh. "Yeah. Well, c'mon! You don't even have to undress if you don't want to. Just hop in!"

"Oh, all right!" Rissa sighed through her laughter. At last the ever irrepressible Sibby had won!

At last Rissa dipped into the pond, inching in until it was at chest height, the same as dear Sibby. She shivered intermittently as she acclimated to the chilly water herself before casting a quick look at her surroundings, musing with a wry grin that she hoped veiled her still frazzled nerves. "I could swear I saw the curtains up in the manor shift a little. In a room or two. Not sure."

Sibby just grinned. "You just hit one of the rumors I've heard on the head!"

"What?" Rissa hushed.

"Well..." Sibby looked around herself as if she were sharing a secret in a crowded room & not the open field bereft of anyone but them that they were in. She then leant in & spoke also in a hush, this one a bit more excited. "They say that the Counts were all part of this thing called the Order of Kashmir..."

...

Back in the library Jimmy was laid down on the exquisite bearskin rug, the heavy, cracked, leather-bound volume beside him. His eyes were closed, all of his senses were focused on the room around him.

Shifting was a difficult skill to master, even with his centuries of experience in magick, & required full concentration, & full synchronisation with the magician’s environment. One had to taste, scent, touch, see & hear the magick in the air. See with the heart & the mind, see with internal eyes. The desired shape must appear as real before the magician as his own hands before his own eyes.

It was fiercely complicated, & shifting into the Hermit came with its own set of dangers. The spirit of the Hermit was notoriously possessive of magicians & querents, & if not approached respectfully, humbly, or honestly, could be killed trying to divine his wisdom.

He could feel the shift beginning, the air taking in true texture around him, wrapping him in, binding the consciousness of Lord Heston in place, allowing the rest of him to merge with the Hermit, physically & mentally.

When he next opened his eyes, he could feel the changes, the new form. The Hermit craved sunlight, needing to regenerate his form, leading him to the ceiling-length window, surveying the now-damp meadows sparkling in the sunlight.

A darting flash near the pond, a subsequent splash drew their eye. Two young ladies splashing about in the sun-warming water, their giggles echoing even to them in the library.

Golden faerie maidens. Theirs the purest of magicks, the strongest potential of the senses.

Both of them - the Hermit & Lord Heston - felt deep stirrings at the sight of the splashing maids, one stirring at the magickal pull of the girls, the other stirring at the more erotic potential of such youth & beauty.

...

Robert could hardly tear himself away from the window in his room as he watched the girls frolic & splash about. Both of them were finally in the water, laughing & talking, though he could not quite make out what was being said. Both young ladies were, he could tell, in the ripeness of health & youth, all curves & soft skin, reminding him of his own glowing memories of springtime swims in the pond, as well as the interludes that often followed such swims in later years.

He licked at his dry lips, considering how he might entice them to explore the grounds further. He wondered if they’d discovered his apple & lemon orchards yet... Both were in full bloom, both his apples & lemons deliciously ripe & sweet... The scents were legendary for perfuming the countryside in high spring & summer - if the girls had not found it, he knew they surely would soon. Perhaps then, he might introduce himself to them...

...

"Order of Kashmir?" Came the reply from Rissa along with another curious look.

"Yes. They called it the Order of Kashmir. A list of nobility at the time - a relatively small list but a list no less - all were said to have joined this secret order that gave them powers or something. Vampires. Immortal spirits or the like. They say people still spot them around the grounds and areas of their old Manors, Castles & Haunts. All around the world there are sightings of the Counts and others said to be in the Order. Kashmirites some call them. Kashmirite Sightings. They're in all the papers. Especially gossip rags though."

"The same ones that talk of UFOs, Big Foot & the Loch Ness Monster?" Charissa snickered.

"Seriously! Though I have to admit after reading about the Order I was kind of hoping that in making this trip that we could maybe have a chance at catching... At finding... At sighting a few Kashmirites... Look!" She pulled a scrap of paper from her pocketbook nearby. It had a picture - a collage - of the Kashmirites. Messrs. Lords. Page. Plant. Bonham. Jones. Coverdale. Beck. The list went on. Sibby then showed Charissa her latest books that she had been carrying on the subject. One was a rundown on the lives of the mysterious Lords. The other was on the Order of the Kashmir as a whole & Kashmirites as a subject. Charissa was nothing less than stunned. "Well! I'll be darned!"

"Mmm-hmm..." Sibby nodded. "They say the ringleader of sorts or at least the one the deepest into the order, higher up in the ranks or something, was Rakehell Page. He was said to be like a wizard or something!"

Charissa couldn't help but laugh at this now, prompting Sibby's squealed reply. "I'm serious! Seriously! Seriously, Rissa! He--..."

Whatever her next words were to be as a loud clap of thunder sounded, emanating seemingly from above the Manor as another sheet of rain began to fall over the grounds. This prompted the two young girls to shriek & scurry to climb out of the pond. Sibby hurried into her dress. Charissa helped Sibby gather her books. Sibby in return helped Rissa out of her dress so the two of them could wring it out, where she then began to help her friend back into it. She had only barely managed to get the dress to cover the peaks of Charissa's breasts when...

Just then...

A male voice called out to them...

"Well, well, well... What's all this now?..."

The two girls whipped their heads in the direction of the voice where they were met by the sight of a tall, regal looking gentleman all flowing blonde curls, turquoise jewelry & long flowing cape draped over his shoulders. Steel blue eyes pierced them both as dimples popped both near the corners of his upwardly curving mouth & in the center of his chin as he teased them with a wry Cheshire Cat grin. "To what do I owe this extreme pleasure?" His eyes raked over their bodies with those words. Sibby's with her dress clinging to her in places & Rissa with hers hardly on, barely over her nipples revealing the expanse of creamy curved flesh below. This she remedied quickly, hurriedly taking over from Sibby & pulling her dress back down in a huff, face burning with the heat of both his gaze & her subsequent blush.

When the girls couldn't manage to do more in response to his question than gape, stammer & stumble over their words, a great many of which were "Um... Uh... Well... I... We... You see... I, uh--... Ahem..." He just chuckled, holding two other capes out to them. "Come now, loves. It's frightful out here." He crossed over & draped the rich, warm fabrics over their trembling forms as he draped an arm around each of them, leading them ahead towards the door. "Let's go inside & see if we can't get you warmed up."

The girls nodded shyly, not sure of what to do past that. But as they neared the door to the Manor, Rissa turned towards Sibby & hushed one word where only she could hear, motioning almost imperceptibly to the tall, striking, dimpled blonde gentleman in between them. "Nessie~..."

...

The storm had come again, in earnest this time, the thunder drowning out the pained gurgling scream from the library. Both the Hermit & Lord Heston had been stirred by the sight of the girls, Lord Heston the most, & had summarily lost control of the shift, causing a physically painful, albeit temporary, rending of the shared consciousness.

The Hermit retreated further inward to maintain balance, as Lord Heston gathered himself in kind, the pain fading, but the memory keen.

The brunette had been worth such a blow, however. Lush, sweet softness beneath such a delicate frock... the unexpected surprise of her innocent nakedness stirring Heston to half-hardness...

And the wretched timing of the lord of the manner! Scooping up both maidens in one fell swoop, undoubtedly promising them sweet porridge & hot tea, promising to dry their frocks at his fireside, as the three of them romped & frolicked in his bed. No doubt that by nightfall, Robert would have two new beauties to count among his wives & lovers, fully turned & waiting for their own feasts.

He would have damned The Hermit himself, had he been able to do so easily. No, he had chosen to take this form today, this hour, not knowing the girls had been on the estate. No, if he desired one, he & Robert would simply have to share. And indeed the shyer, dark-haired beauty already haunted their mind, awakened a delicious need in Heston’s entire being, & intrigued the Hermit’s sensitive intuition. Both of them desired to see the girl, & they would do so, whether Robert liked it or not.

...

Robert led the girls through the door & into the palatial manor which was lit by a litany of candles in in little holders tucked into nooks carved in the wall, chandeliers, candelabras and candlesticks everywhere. It gave the whole place a warm, inviting glow along with a warmth that was only amplified by the fire roaring in the fireplace. He had large, fluffy towels laid out for them of which he grabbed two, handing one to each girl. "Here you are, loves. Care for a spot of tea? Might help you warm up after getting caught in such a dreadful storm."

"Thank you." Came the girl's response in unison. Both were standing still gazing around at their environs in complete shock. Charissa was the first to move slightly, only to pat herself dry with the towel. A slight moan fell from her lips at the feel of the softness of the fabric against her skin, followed by another from Sibby when she did the same.

Robert couldn't help but to grin at that, dimples popping as he laughed. "Feelin better already, eh? Well come, sit." He removed his cloak as well as those of the ladies, chuckling as they promptly covered themselves with their towels, draping them over their shoulders & carefully perching on more towels laid out on a settee opposite him & his large stately chair. He went about pouring their tea to their specifications which they mumbled out while still in a state of shock about it all. It was all very innocent, their surroundings very comforting & their host was nothing if not charming but they still couldn't help but stare at him openly, try as they might to hide it. It led Robert to perk an eyebrow at the two maidens as he handed them their cups. "Hmmm? What? What is it? Is there something on my face? I certainly hope not?" He teased with a smile, feeling around his cheeks, patting them playfully.

"No!" Again the response came in unison. Before they traded off every few words. Sibby first. "No, it's... It's not that... It's... It's just..." And then Charissa. "...She thinks you look like someone... Someone quite familiar..."

"Oh?" Robert tilted his head. "Someone you know?" And then his eyes fell to the books clutched in their little hands. Ah-ha!

"I see... Interested in the Kashmirites are you? Is that how you found yourselves here? Seeking things related to the Order? Counts? Count Kidderminster? Lord Kidderminster and all?"

The replies were now mixed. Sibby was seemingly contrite, ashamed at her inquisitive nature, her nosiness. She dropped her head & nodded, admitting in a small voice. "Yes..." Charissa was nothing if not firm however, shaking her head. "No!" Then taking her contrite friend's admission into account she relayed the following to the now snickering blonde man. "She was. I just came as a tagalong so she wouldn't be alone."

Robert nodded thoughtfully, still with a trace of the teasing smirk on his lips. "I see. And would that be who you think I resemble by any chance, dears? Ah! Now that I think of it... I've never even asked your name! How dreadfully rude of me! Please forgive me... Praytell what are your names, ladies?"

He finally got his answer as to who the maidens - who he was fighting the urge to lick his lips as he took in the sight of them in those damp, filmy white frocks which clung to them just so - were. It was only fair that he caught their names since he was currently contemplating them as prospective bed partners. He got a "Charissa." From the shy brunette. And a "Sibella." From the curious blonde. The brunette growing curious herself, only enough to ask the obvious. "And you are~?..."

Robert couldn't help but grin at that. As his grin peaked, another clap of thunder sounded startling the two girls into jumping into each other's arms with a shriek. Robert felt his urges rising. That was the cause of the thunder. His deep seated urges were awakening to them. Senses on high. He hungered for them. Both of them. Their innocence. Their energy. Their pureness. Pure energy. Purity both of heart & of spirit. It intoxicated him. He swore he could smell it.

He got a scent of peaches and cherries from them. Mingled with that was a hint of apples and lemons. Signs that they belonged here? Were meant to be here? He wasn't exactly sure. He'd worry about that later. Maybe he'd ask Pagey later.

But wait...

PAGEY!...

The storm...

The way it started...

Grew so intense so soon...

Centering over his house...

His castle...

High above the one tower in the center...

The one that contained the library...

The library that contained Pagey & that one mysterious tome of his...

The library which was now emitting strange energies to him...

Pagey always had a strange energy to him...

But this...

This here...

This...

This was different...

This was...

This was...

This was like Pagey but on a whole new level!

He couldn't put his finger on it but the vibrations that Pagey was now emitting were strange... Too strange...

Even for him...

And it all started with the arrival of these girls...

Thinking back he realized the window from the library also faced out towards the pond that the girls had frolicked in...

Had Pagey seen them too?

He found himself laughing internally at the question. A bittersweet laugh that turned into a low growl of a single word spoken under his breath as he grit his teeth & balled his fist up, sending back an energy of his own, protective, defensive & yes even a bit greedy towards his newfound houseguests.

The word. Simple. It was a place.

A place that he wished a certain dark haired friend of his were still residing in just then. Preferably locked away in a different tower in a different castle at that. Or even dungeon knowing his reputation.

"Heston..."