#i'll never get into college
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Failed my science quiz
#im a fucking failure#i'll never get anywhere in life#i should stop while i can#i'll never get into college#im a failure#i have a 2.800 GPA
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Heterochromia
Sandman Inktober Day 1! I'll be using the cringetober prompts bc reasons, and today gets Delirium with bonus!Dream 💕
#inktober#cringetober 2023#the sandman#the sandman netflix#dream of the endless#delirium of the endless#my art#its not ink but it IS art which is what i need to get back into doing rip#morpheus#inktober 2023#cringetober#i am never going to keep up with it but#by god i'll give it the ol college try lol
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#pic#story#Checking Courage#The Royal Pibling’s Plight#handsome knights#augh--- hey yall#Good news! I'm out of college and have much more time to work on ALUW#bad news. I need a job...#So much is going on in author's life but I'll never give up on aluw...#I do need to clean up my space though#it's a mess in here.#Anyway! Ask box is on#I have plans for the story but it's been a month I wanna walk through things with y'all#Ko-fi's always open if you ever wanna support me and the blog#I'm also working on other things that I don't always talk about on this account and ko-fi's like the center of information#so you can always follow there and get some news if need be
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I have a question about the Jumping Spider AU of yours (if that’s okay). Do you have plans for Second to eventually run into Chosen? Either by accident or Chosen tries to find Dark and finds Second instead? Would Chosen try and hurt them or talk to them about Dark being a bad guy?
Oh I have! In fact, the next post about this AU is exactly that! One way or another Orange will stumble upon TCO, though Im still conteplate on whether I should make it a comic or not but I'll decide that based on how much I can handle in drawing comics again akdbdjfhdj
Their first meeting is DEFINITELY an accident, Im trying to also put like some canon elements to it as well while at it (I love giving my AUs parallels to the canon events). And there will be OTHER characters you'll finally get to see if you catch my drift ;)
#ava#jumping spider au#I'll try to not reveal too much. cause there will be multiple undergoing with how I want it to happened#you know what they say. first draft never worked#and with me having a bit of a limited time for college and stuff. you bet it gets BUSY#but I'll do my best on what I can do. I just hope I'd be satisfied on the result
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4pc chicken
#“i ordered the 4pc chicken and left him with the bill i just walked away”#“you should have seen his face bc i knew he couldnt afford it”#“you can probably still hear the whispers of desperation and betrayal in the air over the sound of the deep fryer”#“like sure i'll never get over him and will carry his presence in my soul and heart and body in both life and death and beyond that even...#“but i have big plans and dont want anything holding me back. im thinking of starting a club at my new college”#“we'll see”#anime#anime memes#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#stsg#satosugu#sugusato#geto suguru#suguru geto#gojo satoru#satoru gojo#jjk hidden inventory#hidden inventory arc#4pc chicken
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Agh too many options! Okay this is severely pared down and still a lot so, sorry or you're welcome idk 😅
👔👔👔
🎓🎓🎓
🥺🥺🥺
(your username is perfect for the suit one btw)
👔 — Tommy shows up at the firehouse in a suit. Buck has feelings about it.
"Do you have to go?" Evan doesn't break the bounds Tommy sets, keeping a small amount of distance between them even as he comes to stand between Tommy's thighs.
That pink, sulky pout and those lust-blown pupils and the wall of bothered heat radiating from Evan is almost enough to make Tommy forget about his responsibilities.
Almost.
Evan's hips sway forward and Tommy's hands move to meet them. Stop them. His aggrieved sigh fills the dense air. He doesn't have the kind of power to postpone today, but even if he did he wouldn't use it because they need his help with the defence and he gave his word.
"Would you really want me to blow them off?"
"I got somethin' you could blow.."
"Evan." He tries to sound stern, he really does— but he can't help the way he finds Evan's shameless desire delightful, and his fondness comes through in a smile.
The cocky little grin Evan busts out makes Tommy want to kiss him about it.
So he does.
He guides Evan in by the back of his neck and he all but melts against him, tries dropping his jaw to deepen the kiss, hands sneaking up Tommy's thighs—
"Mh— nope, c'mon." It's partially his doing, he won't deny that. But they can't keep going in sexy circles like this or he's going to be late even if he does manage to escape with a more or less clean suit. Standing, he maneuvers Evan back towards the closed door with ease, and with only minor resistence.
"No fair," Evan whines.
Tommy spies the clock on the wall. He really has to get going, and it's a struggle to not dive back in for another kiss as Evan leans back against the door, the long line of his body inviting, tempting. "From where I'm standing, I don't disagree." Because duty calls, so he takes Evan's hand and leads him out into the bright hallway, his mind a carousel of all the ways he could make this up to his boyfriend later that night, and reward himself in the process, too.
🎓 — College AU.
Buck finds the door open and no one inside. "Uh, h-hello?"
A poster pinned to the wall catches his eye: it's a man with an intimidating physique and the bare muscles of his chest and arms glistening in the sun. Buck can appreciate a good workout when he sees the fruits of that labour. He wonders what this guy does to maintain the kind of body that essentially doubles his size.
He takes in the rest of the image, noting the suspenders and the hose and the helmet. A firefighter. It's a calendar of half-naked firefighters, the kind sold for charity. He wonders if one of the dormers is related to a firefighter and made everyone buy one, or if it was a gag gift, or maybe—
"Can I help you?"
Buck flinches at the voice behind him, dropping the calendar page and jerking away from it like he's been caught looking at something he shouldn't. He was snooping. "Um, I—" He whirls around so fast he knocks the shelf beside him, knocking a small box onto the floor and scattering its contents. "Shit— I-I'm so sorry." He's on his knees gathering up the—sticks of charcoal?—before he can think.
"Oh, that's— don't worry about it, really." The guy drops to a crouch, reaching for a few wayward pieces.
Their fingers brush where they both place the charcoal back in the little box. Buck pulls his hands back like he's been burned. "M'sorry, I just—" For the first time he gets a look at this guy. "I'm.. lookin' for Tommy?"
"Well, you found him."
There's a small quirk at the corner of Tommy's mouth like he finds Buck amusing but Buck can't really focus on that because he feels too hot all of a sudden. Is there no air-conditioning in this crappy dorm? "Uh. Hi."
Tommy's smile breaks free and crinkles his cheeks and the skin around his eyes a little. It's a really nice smile. "Hi. You got a name?"
"Bu—uh, E-Evan. Buckley."
"Good to meet you, Evan." Tommy pushes up from the floor and extends a hand down to Buck. He raises his brows expectantly, and. Well.
Buck grasps his hand firmly.
Not that he couldn't get up on his own, but Tommy was willing to help and it would be rude not to let him, right? It doesn't even occur to him that he should support most of his weight as Tommy pulls him to his feet—because he's not a small guy. But Tommy isn't exactly lacking in the physical department either; he could probably book a spot on that firefighter calendar if he wanted.
🥺 — Alternate Canon: just friends with pining!Tommy and “straight” Buck, hurt/comfort.
i'll have to leave this one for now. i can't find it in my gdocs or my tumblr drafts. i think it might be a rambling idea i put in the tags of a post i reblogged - but for the life of me i don't know what to search for to find it.. 🥺🫶
#seven sentence sunday#bucktommy#evantommy#fanfiction#.txt#asks#powersuitup#i don't really have much drafted for the college one and i'm annoyed i didn't add any notes bc now i don't remember the plot.#i really love the suit one! it was initially only hinted sexytimes and just some pg stuff but now i keep wanting to add more and more.#pining!tommy is a longer fic i'll probably never get around to writing fully but i'm so annoyed i can't find it bc i know it was good!!#i swore i drafted a pretty full outline for it but i can't find it so i'll have to try to remember the deets and add it to gdocs..
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Forgot to post this, but one of the people on one of the servers I'm on (and talked about the Knowledge White AU with) asked about how the scene where Sanji and Zeff get stranded would happen with Goji around. It would go like this:
Goji insists that Sanji eat most of the food that Zeff gives them. His argument being that he's built much tougher than Sanji, and as such he can handle going without food for longer periods than a normal human. That, and he has a fishing line on him that he uses to try and catch fish for himself (and Sanji) to eat. (Goji gets in the habit of being prepared for anything and making sure that he has 'everything but the kitchen sink' on him just in case. With he and Sanji hiding away from the Judge, better to have as many tools/items as possible to help with any situation. Basically, better to have it and not need it then need it and not have it.)
After a few days on the rock, Goji goes to Zeff's side of the rock to steal his "food" for himself and Sanji. (He waits till Sanji is asleep because he doesn't want Sanji to get get caught up if Goji ends up fighting Zeff.) That's when he finds out that Zeff gave him and Sanji all the food and that the pirate has been eating his severed leg to sustain himself.
Goji is more confused by Zeff's actions than anything. After all, logically Zeff should have kept all the food for himself instead of giving it way in order for himself to survive. Doing the opposite makes no sense to Goji. And Goji is not sure how to feel about it. But in the end he decides not to care. His and Sanji's survival is the most important. Though he does tell Zeff not to tell Sanji about it because Goji just knows that his brother would feel the need to repay back such a debt and might try to give Zeff some of their food.
Goji does end up sharing some of the fish he caught with Zeff too. Yet it took a few days after finding out what Zeff did before he would start to sometimes slip the pirate a fish here and there. Mostly at night so that Sanji wouldn't find out. (Goji doesn't understand why he does so. He just thinks that if he takes on the debt of Zeff giving him and Sanji a chance to survive, than Sanji doesn't have to.)
After that, Goji does make sure that the food doesn't fall off the rock. And sometime later, Sanji does try to take the "food" that Zeff has for himself and Goji. Goji tries to stop him, but after Sanji makes a comment about Goji not caring about him, it freezes Goji in his tracks for a moment. (And although he doesn't realize it then, that comment filled Goji with dread. Worried that his brother might hate him.) That moment is all Sanji needs to find out the truth. And then it ends how it does in canon. They get saved and Zeff ends up taking in both Sanji and Goji.
#One Piece#AU#Knowledge White AU#text post#Vinsmoke Sanji#Black Leg Sanji#Vinsmoke Goji#Zeff#Red Leg Zeff#BTW after getting stranded on the rock with Sanji and Zeff#Goji doubles down on having 'everything but the kitchen sink' on hand#he makes sure to carry a massager bag filled with survival supplies afterwards whenever he goes anywere#thou never tell him about fanny packs#he'd end up wearing two or three of them at a time 24/7 if he knew about them#Goji also gets kind of clingy to Sanji afterwards too#he's starting to have emotions and doesn't know how to handle it#and I promise I'm working on Goji's design#I'm just busy with college at the moment cuz the semester is ending#I'll have him done and posted soon after I promise
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I just discovered you thru scroll but I gotta say thank you so much for your hcs they are fueling my Nekoma hyperfixations. I laugh everytime I read about the first year shenanigans lmao. Hope you can continue with the hcs cause they are literally the best I've ever read<33333
Glad to hear it dude, it's my pleasure!! Also hyperfixated on them (if that wasn't obvious lmaoo) so i've been having a blast chatting with all of you and sharing my thoughts! It's been a couple weeks since I did one of the big hc posts but don't worry, I got some building up in my drafts. Also maybe short fics? Idk i'm out of practice with that but I have some ideas haha. Anyways thank you so much, appreciate the message! :D
#talking to people about nekoma never gets old#everyones so sweet thank you haikyuu tumblr :')#i am drafting a little drabble about Kenma and Fukunaga as college roommates?? idk if i'll release it but i'm testing the waters
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hi, just letting you know that ahmed 90s-ghost doesn't verify fundraisers anymore! he quit after it got too overwhelming, so you shouldn't @ him asking him to. you can probably find the post about it by searching his blog.
Thanks for letting me know, Anon...
I get it... I REALLY do.





I understand. Y'know I used to be so excited to get Asks. It means someone wants to talk about art and silly cartoon characters with me. But now all I feel is dread. Not because I don't want to help, but because the help I give is never enough. I used to privately mesage back to those Asks, but one became 6 became 10 to... Well. I can't donate. Euros and dollars are valued a lot higher here, thus the opposite is also true. The value of our money is but a paltry bread's worth and even if I split it in crumbs, with the amount of people who approach me for help, it'll soon run dry, but I'm just a student who still rely on my parents financially. So I thought I'd share instead, but that quickly got out of hand. I post one thing and get multiple asks by the HOUR. I already had to apologize for struggling to meet demands before and I only had 3 or 6 rare to come-by short Asks about art. Now I have a hundred and counting I have to check personally. I didn't want to admit it, but I've also long been overwhelmed. I just didn't feel like I had the right to say so. I still don't. But the truth is, anyone can say they're verified too, which is terrible because not only will I be partially responsible for my followers who got scammed by bots or scumbags who take advantage of those at war with fake fundraisers, but even worse is that the help and money may not even reach those who actually need it. I thought I would be fine the first time. I don't really like posting too much about our depressing reality or watching news in general because my account was supposed to be a "safe SPACE" and a "nice little BUBBLE" for us to be happy and escape for awhile, so I didn't think much about reblogging it at first. I only wanted to help. But it just kept going and I got swept away. There's so many of them, but there's only one of me and I've been spiraling lately. So for now, I will no longer take any Asks about this subject (which I always avoid mentioning directly because the algorithm has it out for putting you guys down and I wanted you all to make it so I didn't tag those reblogs as such). I'll still take Asks provided they're related to my actual content and of course I'll still support raising awareness for Pal est ine, yet I also get it if this may appear selfish to some of you. I tried. I really did. But if you'd rather ignore, unfollow, or block me for this decision, I understand. I'm just sorry it had to come to this and that I wasn't strong enough to help more. -Bubs.
#I'm so very sorry#asks#thank you for your hard work 90s-ghost#I hope you're doing better now#war serves no one#I know a lot of people needs help#but I can't keep up with the demand anymore#I'm feeling burned out and college just started back up again#I know I'm lucky to live the life that I do and I shouldn't get to complain#but I've been spiraling lately cause it's a thankless job that reminds me quick and repeatedly that I can't save everyone#I'm sorry for the onslaught of negativity from me lately#this wasn't what I made my account for#but I'll be back to making more content sooner than you think#it makes me happy and now I REALLY need that escape too#I know I'm a coward who's likely dooming people#I'm disappointed in me too#feel free to unfollow me#but never forget to support those families in need#they're just desperate to live like the rest of us#and please don't harass anyone because of this#that's the LAST thing I want to happen#I want to help them too but I'm stretched thin here#one person can't do this all on their own#so let's support each other instead and unite for this cause#I don't want this war. I don't want this discord.#the ones who does are monsters#people's lives are at stake and even if I barely helped#the same cannot be said if the lot of us were to do our part#please help these victims of war#but let's not forget we're not on our own.
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Seeing the same people who perpetuated or sent vicious misogynistic hate to Hannah Schmitz, as well as disgusting racist abuse towards Yuki and Alex because of FUCKING CONSPIRACY THEORIES and those who just straight up ignored it, now up in arms regarding whatever the fuck is going on between the FIA and the wolffs is beginning to piss me off. Because now that it's not someone red bull affiliated involved, it's somehow now unacceptable.

#f1#formula 1#formula one#who knows wtf is going on not the fia and not the teams but anyways#i will say toto needs to be investigated because of previous info breaches#but I've been saying that for years long before F1 academy was ever a thing#there's just been too many instances of him having info he shouldn't and things quietly and quickly changing for his benefit#I'm tired and stressed with trying to finish everything up for the semester hence why I've been less active#but this is just pissing me off#i never forgot or forgave the bs and abuse hannah yuki and alex got and i won't ever forget or forgive#i remember after monaco 22 i saw the anti red bull gang were claiming toto fucked up by “allowing' alex the Williams seat#apparently it was alexs fault ferrari fucked up and red bull were turning the tide smh#the bullshit ted began about hannah and yuki he will never see heaven i swear#and i know not everyone calling out the situation partook in the aforementioned but I'm seeing certain people who did#and they don't seem to notice their hypocrisy or double standards#anyway i get my one annoyed post that I'll probably delete later but at least I've got it out and can now return to watching the clown show#and ignore those with doublestandards#anyways bed now because i think I'm slowly losing my mind#it's not a good sign when you hear the imperial march in your head when thinking of college work is it
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this time 2 years ago i was revising for my exams for like 5 hours every single day for 4 months straight and now i stare at my laptop for 20 mins in the library and decide you know what im going home
#I NEED THIS ENERGY BACK...#I was unstoppable#i'll never forget the exam i got 69/72 marks on#(an A grade was like. 40)#the head of the a level department literally came up to me the morning results came out and was like. Do you Know what you Did#for context i went to a really really bad college for people who sucked and couldn't get in anywhere else ahfidshadjafdslds;a
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.
#don't you love it when you come home during festivals hoping to feel happy and get stress relief from college#but it ends up being more horrible and triggering than even college#cause your family just openly bitches about you and judges you while you're within earshot#repeating all the bad shit that you tell yourself when you're alone#confirming your fears of being the most horrible and inconsiderate person on earth#i feel exactly like I felt some 4-5yrs ago#sobbing on my bathroom floor trying to not harm myself further#it's a lost cause#i will never have a family who will understand#and now guess what I'm so exhausting that telling all this to my friends seems horrible too#there is only one way I'll ever be happy and god I hope its soon#I'm done with healing and trying to make people understand how much I suffer everyday#vent#I'm sorry I have no where else to go#delete later
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I know I essentially never had a proper painting teacher in college, despite multiple painting classes, and therefore actually have no idea how to use oils correctly, but every time I see an oil painting by someone who does know how the oil paints work, I'm like holy shit
#fun fact I'm not actually very good at any type of painting I just enjoy the activity#don't have space to paint in my house though so sometimes I get a wild longing to paint and I can't#also I haven't gone through the dreaded cupboard of old art supplies to clean it out and organize it since college#but anyhow paints never clicked for me but I love them a lot and I'll never touch oils again but I have mad respect for painters#and esp. oil painters#my ''intro to painting class'' was taught by a guy who was one semester away from retirement and let us get away with everything but murder#the next teacher who tried to rectify my class's lack of oil painting knowledge failed to explain it in a way that made any sense#(I was also lowkey scared of her bc I knew she was on the thesis panel and could fail me and I embodied every bit of art she seemed to hate#somehow she ended up liking me well-enough but I did not have the heart to ask her to explain herself better either)#really need to get back into experimental painting someday...#oracle of lore
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i need MONWYYYYYYYYY starts chewing my leg off. my life is in shambles
#im not even upset enough to vent im just annoyed#so much to worry about its like everyday is me juggling several problems as best as i can on a 24 hour period#and its never enough of course#im running out of money Again. i need to get commissions. i need to look into Some college that will accept#-me#which means itll probably be online. and i fucking suckkkk at studying from home#and idk how i'll balance study time and commission working time all on my own#with the awful attention spam and miserable executive dysfunction i got#the year has barely started!!!! im freaking out!!!!!!#i just want to move out of my mom's home and take testosterone. is that too much to ask
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.
#every once in a while#ever since my dad died#I'll get this awful feeling that I'm never going to be able to be happy again#The way I a did before#But even when he was still here I'd feel this way sometimes#Cause there are so many people I have given so many peices of myself to#Who I don't think I'll ever see again#Cause they moved away#Or went to college while I was still in highschool#Or they stopped homeschooling and went to public school#Or they left the homeschool group I was in#Or life just happened and we lost touch#And now I cant stop thinking about it and I can't sleep because my brain won't stut off#Tho really it's cause I slept for four hours earlier today cause I had a migraine
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I finally passed my permit test today!.
It took me 6 tries, including this one
But its good i finally got jt
#people are constantly saying easy it is to get it. but. its taken me a while#i had to study for it#yesterday i went through the who book. “annotating” the important parts. (i was just underlining them)#i guess it is easy for most people. but its still not all that fair to say#everything in me wants me to feel bad about it. but i really shouldn't. its taken me a lot to get it.#it can feel embarrassing. especially since many of my friends are quite advanced with this stuff.#either going to college early. skipping a grade and still doing really well in school. or already having a license.#im going to celebrate. instead of feeling bad.#I'll never get my first drivers permit again. why should a make myself sad. thats not fair to me.#how can fairness only apply to everyone else?.#the guy at the front said he needed me to show a little more excitement. i feel my brain seems to think i should only feel guilt.#thats just no way to live.#it has me frustrated. i don't want to feel guilty at all.#i think ill just stop engaging with it. i don't know what else to do
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