#i'll make some silvergifting shipper exceptions to the enjoying the enemies falling to ruin bit

[undercat-overdog]

Do you think out of all the people in silmarillon, sauron got to live his best life as he actually almost succeeded in doing whatever he wanted and was even enjoying watching his enemies fall to ruin?

Thank you for the ask, anon, I always love them 💙

And lol! There weren't many people in the Silm who got to lead their best life, were there...

But I don't, actually. One thing that comes up in a lot of places is all the negative emotions that he experiences. You could argue that something like black anger can be grimly satisfying - and it can be - but fear is also one of the main emotions. It doesn't pop up all the time, but it's a common one. In LotR, he's said to be afraid of his enemies' plans.

I talk about fear with him less than I might in meta because. Hmm. Because I think it doesn't come from deep personal insecurities? He's not afraid all of the time and when he is it's often very rational. Like he's right to be very scared when Luthien beats him. He's right to be afraid of the Numenoreans, because their army genuinely can beat his (canonically why he surrenders to Pharazon; it wasn't his preferred choice but the better ones - diplomacy that let him stay ruling in Middle-earth and/or militarily defeating the Numenoreans - weren't possible). And yeah, he's right to be afraid of Gandalf too (he doesn't understand Gandalf nor what Gandalf will do, which makes him more dangerous).

Fear and rage and bitterness and anger that others are living well are there, and those emotions generally aren't fun to experience. Then there's his longing for the Ring.

Which isn't to say he's not confident (if anything, his self-esteem is far too high). He came very, very close to winning the War of the Rings.

And, well, he did lose. Multiple times. Loser 🥰

But I do think he had fun too! He definitely enjoys himself from time to time and watching his enemies fall to ruin was likely enjoyable. I headcanon his emotional state as quite mercurial, and amusement is definitely part of that.

Haha maybe "living his best life (thwarted)" is how to describe S.