#i'll lose it if i think about that too much

[fairycosmos]

im really sorry if this is weird but i just read a bunch of yr posts about yr sister and it kind of opened my eyes to how much it would affect my younger brother if i killed myself. it feels a bit off limits to me now lol. hope today's being kind to you <3

i really think people don't realise the immensity and importance of their presence to those around them, even if you have complicated relationships with others, even if you feel invisible most of the time. it feels like i stepped into a fundamentally different reality ever since my sister died, where i'm disoriented and sick and insane all the time, and it's never going to stop. i'm sorry that you've had to deal with suicidal thoughts -- i know how scary and exhausting it is, and i know understanding that suicide hurts those around you isn't a solution or a fix-all. but i'm glad you were open to gaining some perspective on it. and i hope that it drives you towards considering talking to your doctor or someone you trust about it. honestly i think i'll spend the rest of my life missing her and if i think for too long about how there's no way to get her back, how young she was, how she was when we were kids etc i just lose it. i wouldn't wish grief like this on anyone. your brother is very lucky to have you, and you him x

resource / resource / resource / resource

[fashionteahouse]

out of your league - paul x reader

AN: the last nine parts has gotten so much love :o and i want to kiss all you guys’ foreheads 💜 thank you so much!

It was so hot. Blinking the tiredness away, you pull back your smushed face and lips from his bare chest. Legs are somehow entangled with his arms around you under your arms.

Sliding down, you move some covers out of the way and go use the bathroom. Sam and Emily are whispering to each other in the kitchen so you take small calculated steps into the bathroom.

Spitting out the toothpaste, you thought about everything that happened the night before. For some reason, you just wanted to do nothing more than to take your feelings out on making something.

You throw on comfortable clothing, nothing too much since the weather was pleasant, you take a small sketch book of yours with a pencil and you took your time walking towards the beach. Your steps were lazy, letting your eyes be distracted by what was happening in your surroundings.

Instead of immediately sitting down, you decide to walk along the beach. With the lazy steps, you had some sort of peace. In your mind at least. Life still happened in front of you, but it was just different people who were spending time with the people that they came with. Chirps of faint laughter and chatters of conversation, flowed through the atmosphere.

You sat on a rock. Peering over the water. You pull out and just sketch without direction. No rush, just wanting to see where your hand will guide you to. The world around you was tuned out, watching the dark streaks mark the semi thick paper.

For some reason, your mind went to Paul. You shook your head, trying not to have any feelings. You didn't know if you were ready to have that conversation with him. Afraid that you'll find out something that you didn't want to know.

You feel a nudge on your foot and tear your eyes away from your task and look down. You see a ball and a guy is jogging but stops and holds his hand out, wanting you to throw it back to him. You put the pencil between the crack of the book, scooping the ball with your free hand and you try to throw it as hard as you can but it was a bad throw. It barely went to him. He smiles and continues to jog over.

You stand and he chuckles as he scoops the ball and takes a look at you. "Sorry." you say sheepishly to him. He shakes his head, a grin still present on his face, "It's alright." He then flickers his eyes down to the book you're holding and he raises his eyebrows, "Drawing over there."

You nod. He nods as well. "Wanna join us?" he takes his thumb, pointing behind him where a couple of people were chatting among themselves in a carefree manner. You take your lip into your mouth, trying to make a decision, you don't want to seem rude. "I don't think you would want me on your team, I'll make you lose." you say.

He grins some more and looks down and fiddles with the ball, "If you're on my team, you'll win because I'm the best player. I'll take you under my wing."

You follow him, he asks for your name, you tell him and then he tells you his. His friends didn't mind that you joined, even telling you to put your book down safely with their things. Time went past as you spent your time with them. The guy who put you on his team, didn't lie. He did win. You laugh as the others playfully groan and his team boasting all about.

Your eyes stray over and you see Paul. Your heart jumps, totally not expecting to see him there. Or at all. You separate yourself and pick your item up and slowly walk over to him. He just patiently watches you as you move in closer.

With possession, he pulls you by your waist, your arms immediately around his neck. His mouth rests on your neck as your swayed with him. He lifts up after some time and looks over. "Who are they?" he asks with genuine curiosity.

"I don't know." you say and look down and chuckle. You then look over and see the guy who you were playing with, had a sad expression as he saw that you were with someone. He looks down from your eyes, turns his head and joins his friends and you look down.

Paul tugs you and you're walking with him. His arm around your waist, making sure that you're close. You don't say anything. You don't actually know what to say. You just focus on your breathing, the count of your steps, and the path in front of you.

You don't say anything. You didn't know what to say. You choose to let your eyes wander and listen to the sound of life around. Paul couldn't take the silence. He was expecting you to say something, so he waited. He couldn't anymore.

"How come you left this morning?" he asks to fill the air with spoken words.

You look at him, to see what his face looked like, he was staring back at you, wanting you to answer at the drop of a dime. It made you trip over your words.

"I..I just wanted to take a stroll." you say quietly and step away and cross your arms.

He's still looking at you but the look of his face showed he didn't like the answer. You didn't know why.

"What?" you ask while still keeping your eyes on him.

"When are we going to talk about last night?" he asks, almost frustrated that you weren't on the same page.

"Paul," you say as you step back and sigh and look away as you shake your head.

"You never want to talk to me." He says and raises his arms up, and sighs.

"I don't want to butt heads." you tell him with no energy.

"How?" he asks, his voice rising a bit.

"I don't want to talk about it here." you say, matching his frustrations.

"Well, when are we going to talk about it? Huh? You want to talk later, or "not right now". When, Y/N, when?" he says, putting a touch of bass in his voice.

You shake your head, scowling a bit, "I don't have time for this." you tell him and walk away.

"Walk away, like you do best." He throws at you, making you turn around, not sorry at all for the statement. Challenging you with a look, eyes looking up and down and up again with dominance.

You throw him a mean look, "I walk away, but at least I don't lie." you say and continue to walk.

He calls your name. You don't answer. He calls it much louder, not failing to put an authoritative stain on it.

You look at him.

"What did I lie about?" he says with such grit, getting close to you, too fast.

You move your head to the side, chuckle with no humor, "Not right now. I'm not going there."

"Well, I'm already there. So..what? Tell me. What did I lie about?" his eyes filled to the brim with intensiveness, his body having a faint blur of shakes.

Your mix of feelings are threatening to spill over, but you didn't want to show it in public. Your fury eyes are seeking elsewhere when he's trying to find your eyes.

You suck in some air and shake your head. You're not showing out, not right now, you just simply refused to. He was making it hard, not even trying to be patient. He wasn't shutting up without an answer. He just simply refused to.

"Paul." you hear Sam's voice. Paul looks up, not changing his facial expression of belligerence. You turn your head around to see Sam having a panicked look on his face.

"What." Paul says with malice.

"Y/N, you should step back. Emily wants to see you." Sam says to you. Willing to not have to deal any more than what was in your way, you go to make your steps in the direction of the house, but your arm is stagnant by Paul.

"Don't think that this is the end of this." he tells you.

You snatch your arm back and make your way to the house hearing Paul's voice faintly say, "Fuck off, I'm not going to shift with her right there."

You push the front door open and find Emily with her arms folded, holding her elbows, she gives you a smile but it's not cheerful.

"Hey, Emily." you say carefully, not knowing the vibe of the situation just yet.

"Hey." she says quietly. You're a bit worried and concerned. "Is everything alright?" you ask her, moving in close.

"I don't know," she says in a surprisingly sad voice, you place a hand on her arm, "I feel like this is all my fault." she says and looks down.

"Your fault? What do you mean?"

She shakes her head, "Kim told me that she saw some sketches in his room but I didn't say anything."

Your stomach drops and you ask quietly, "Wait, why was she in his room?"

"I folded his clean clothes and asked her to put them in his top drawer."

Of course, she snooped.

You rub the hand that's on her arm. "It's not your fault. You were just in the middle of a messed up situation." you tell her.

"I don't want you two to fall apart because of this. I'm sure something can be worked out." she says.

You nod with her in agreement.

You sit in the small rolling chair that's in Paul's chair. He didn't come back with Sam. Sam took over the consoling, telling you that Paul went to calm down. You sat and thought about how to not break into another argument.

The door swinging open scared you, making you jump in the chair. Paul closes the door hard, not slam, but still hard and sits on the edge of the bed. His eyes aren't as furious as earlier but they are still overruled with ferocity.

"Let me see the book." you form on your lips. You sat and challenged him.

His hard eyes lock on yours for some time, before getting up, going to the same spot where it fell from, and he hands it to you. You slowly pull it out of his hands, your hands are now producing sweat.

You open the first pages. You remember what they looked like, but it still surprised you. You took a breath as you turned more pages. You didn't know if you were, but you stared at the new illustrations of a figure that looked a lot like yourself, in passionate fornicating acts. You take the last bit of piles of the book between your fingers and flip through the rest of the pages quickly. The others weren't bad, just recaps of the days that you spent with him.

With the book closed, you set it in your laps, staring at the cover.

"Why did you hide this from me?" you ask, barely hearing yourself.

"Privacy." he just says.

"Are they of me?" you ask to make sure. You were 99% sure of the answer.

"Yes."

You nod and look down. He slides it off of your lap and puts it back.

"We've been around each other. At school, around the neighborhood, for years. Why the sudden interest now?" you ask. He sighs to himself and leans forward on his knees.

"It wasn't just a sudden interest. You just seemed stand offish." he says.

You touch the fingers on both hands together as you think. You just didn't want to be in the way of something that didn't fit in line with what you had going on.

The thought makes you chuckle softly, you lift your eyes to meet his, he still never took them off of you. "I always thought..." you trail off.

"You thought what?" he asks.

"That you were a bit out of my league." you confess to him. It was true. You weren't blind, the way that he carried himself, the way people kissed up to him, you didn't think you were a part of that. He ran in a different crowd. You were okay with that.

He stands up and he's in front of you. He pulls you up to him and you're very close to him. "Why would you think that? Do you even hear yourself?" the questions are brushed along your ear with his lips.

You shrug as your body shivers lightly against him. He searches your face to see if he can find his answer there.

"Stop letting this lead you." he says, poking the side of your head, the way he does it is effortlessly affectionate.

He leans down and places his lips on an area where your heart lies in your chest, he places an open mouth kiss on it. Your breath hitches. He lifts his head up and looks into your eyes some more. He leans forward as kisses an open mouth kiss on the part that meets your jaw, this simple movement makes you jolt a bit. He's closely watching your movements, remembering that your lips are there. It was sweet at first, leaning back, continuously placing his lips to yours.

He glued his lips to you once more, moving back and sitting on the bed, you on him, not even disconnecting. Your knees are beside him, deeply exploring each other's mouths. A familiar ache below starts to pound and caress your tongue with his that makes him feel you with his hand. His hand was greedy, touching your wet underwear, then digging in them to feel the bareness of you. You hear a grunt, before you could respond or process, Paul is in front of you yanking your underwear off. Before you could stop him, you're connected to his mouth like a puzzle. Feeling you with his tongue, you're arching your body to him, bodily waves movements against his mouth are made, your grip is blindly on his hair and strong arms, and his hands bringing you closer to him. It made you cover one hand over your mouth. Sounds got leaked out through the overwhelmed stimulation, but by your heavy breathing, it was all worth it.

"Are you sure you can't sneak off to come with?" you whisper to him, your arms tight around his neck.

"You know if I could, I would." he whispers back.

"Come, on she can't miss her flight." Sam says.

Paul held onto you like you were his security blanket. You pull back and take your bag. Paul cups your face and continue to gift you his lips on yours. After some time, Sam says, "She's not going off to war. It's only 2 days."

"Too long." Paul says and gives him a stare of nothing but attitude.

Promises to call and keep in touch with him was of course made. You both didn't want to let each other go, waiting until the last minute until it was time to go inside the airport to leave. To leave Paul. He didn't know what he was going to do for the time that you were gone. To him, when things seem to get better between you two, something makes you both veer away from each other for whatever circumstance.

While you were gone, Paul barely got sleep. He patrolled more often, especially with news of “animal attacks.” The thing he looked forward to was you being there when got back. The first night of coming back, he forgot that you weren’t there. He didn’t even want to lay down in bed. He moped but he still fulfilled his duties. You made him forget the realities of having to devote his life to shift shaping.

Sleep was absent for you as well. Mostly due to nerves but your mind was still stuck on Paul. The praise you have gotten for your work was the shine of the trip. They actually wanted you to stay. But you had to get back. You kept them as contacts for in the future. Someone asked you for a commission for a good, big price. You traveled back home feeling good.

The day that you came back, was the night of Jared’s party. Jared begged you. Called you, himself to beg you to go. Hearing him rack all of the reasons why, he finally agreed. You told him you would meet everybody there, you wanted to go back to your own house.

It took a lot of persuasion from Sam to let him throw a get together. A lot of claims of being able to handle his phasing. You at least got to be around humans.

Hugging the wall, you observe as people move about and socialize. You couldn’t help but think about how you used to be like them. Totally oblivious to what lurks in the shadows of reality. Carefree with only natural problems to think about.

You decide to move out onto Jared’s backyard patio, finding Paul sitting at one of the chairs, livening up the conversation. He immediately catches sight of you and you’re propped comfortably on his lap and his arm around your waist. He doesn’t stop kissing you for a good minute. The public display of affection was every displayed. Everybody by that time knew you were his. You tried your best to hear and engage in conversation.

Piercing eyes that were covered with covetousness took you by surprise. The girl displaying such emotion didn’t try to hide it or make discreet. She wanted it to be known. With her completely staring you down, you decide to wave. She doesn’t wave back. You shrug and lean back on Paul. You tried to be friendly either way.

Offering to get him a drink, you held two plastic cups in your hands. Someone caught your attention and you give into the conversation for a bit. You see Paul and the girl come in from outside and as she’s walking past your eyesight, she’s smirking and tries to be discreet with touching her lips with her fingers. She was trying to get under your skin.

Paul goes in the direction of the bathroom so you move into the direction of the patio, taking your steps carefully. You feel a push. You stumble forward, catch your fall, but the drinks slosh out of the cups and onto the floor. You turn around to see the same set of eyes you seen out on the patio.

“What’s your problem?” you ask her sharply.

“You. Stay away from him.” she answers just as sharp as she takes a step forward.

You rumble a chuckle in your chest, not taking what she’s saying seriously. “And if I don’t?” you contest.

She pushed you again and you take the cup that has a last bit of liquid and throw it on her. Looking down at her ruined top, she looks at you with rage. She goes to swing but you step back, causing her to miss.

“Just like the others, he will get bored of you and beg to be back in my bed.” she snarled out with a grin that contained no type of kind nature.

With her guard down, you mush her face hard, causing her to stumble back. She lunges for you but Jared grabs her and steer her away. She’s insisting to let her go but he refused. Taming her like a wild animal.

“You’re not fighting in here. If you mess up my shit, you’re paying for every penny.” he tells her.

You turn to walk back out the patio, Paul coming out asking what happened.

“I didn’t know you had so many fans.” you say sarcastically and gesture towards the girl Jared is now telling to leave.

You tell him all what happened and he sits and groaned to himself and shake his head.

“She’s nothing.”

You look away.

“Do you want to leave?” he asks.

“You can stay. I’ll take myself home.” You say and squeeze his arm as you walk past but he catches a grip on yours.

“I’m sorry. I wish you didn’t have to be in that shitty situation.” He says to you and you can tell that he means it.

“Come on.” he says and steers you back into the house from the patio and you two walk side by side.

“I don’t want to keep getting attacked.” you tell him, he makes sure you hear him, “She was just jealous, Y/N. What we have is stronger than to let junk separate us.”

You peel away from him to use the bathroom, finding Kim in the hallway, you groan to yourself.

You turn back around and you hear her voice, “You went out of town and didn’t tell me.”

You ignore her, continuing to walk down the hall to find the stairs. That doesn’t stop her from following you, “You’re letting every thing get to your head.”

“You’re so weird! I want nothing to do with you.”

“Picking a guy over your friend?”

“You’re not my friend! Friends don’t lie, or manipulate situations or sneak and snoop around other people’s belongings and lie for their own benefit!” you say and she moves closer and you step back warning her, “Kim.”

“I tried to be there for you. You couldn’t even see that! I’m sure if it wasn’t for me saying anything you wouldn’t have went!”

You roll your eyes and walk away. You forgot that since you’re apart of the pack as an imprint, you still had to face that she would be around. You wish she would fly away in a bubble.

Seeing you near the front door, Jared stops both you and Paul.

“Now, don’t tell me you both are leaving to go bang each other’s brains out.” he says.

This makes you crack out a laugh, “I’m just tired, Jared.” You go and hug him.

“I appreciate you coming. Sorry about what happened earlier.”

“It’s okay.” you tell him reassuringly.

As you both are walking back home, Paul couldn’t stop staring at you.

“Guess what?” he asks you in a jolly tone as you’re near Emily and Sam’s house.

“What?” you say with the same enthusiasm.

“Guess.” he says and you sigh playfully, “Um..I don’t know. Just tell me.”

“Okay.” he says and takes forever to say the news and this makes you get up and playfully tap his arm, “Come on spit it out.” you say with a smile.

“I finally have my own place.” he says and you wrap your body on him as he holds you. “I’m so happy for you. Do you feel good?” you say.

“Hell yes.” he says he says into your neck that makes you jolt a bit.

Paul couldn’t wait to show you each room with his arms wide as he circles his new home. He woke you up bright and early, ignoring your fussing about finally getting some sleep. There wasn’t much that was furnished but you both were happy regardless. You spent the day with him to help set his things up and you were happy that he was happy.

He hands you a key and you look down at the metal in your hand, “When are you getting your things?” he asked.

You clutch the key and inspect it, the future of your life really starting, “Oh..I haven’t really thought about that.”

“Well, I have. I can help you tomorrow.” he says as he takes in his home with his eyes once again.

You did the same. You wondered how things would be like when you both share the same roof. Something in your bones told you, you were going to be very happy. Paul’s eyes told you that you were going to be very happy.

[dr-spectre]

also it's a random thing but I've realized people have been using brainwashed wrong too

Brainwashing has nothing to do with actually mind controlling people and has everything to do with propaganda. And being told it constantly

For context -

<- the actual definition of doing something

if we use this definition instead of how literally everyone uses it (ie. It's just a replacement for mind controlled)

Then honestly callie being "brainwashed" makes more logically sense if you treat the hypnoshades as consistently feeding her propaganda. It's not literally taking over her mind she's literally probably being played octavios music tbh

Because it's canonically a thing that octavio uses music for propaganda

TLDR: even by LITERAL INSISTENCE INKIPEDIA DEFINITIONS that she id "brainwashed and mind controlled", she can not be mind controlled. Realistically if Callie was brainwashed that means she was just fed propaganda about Octarian.

So people can't argue that she was forced into that outfit she wears in splatoon 2 still because she probably chose to wear it maybe as a strange solidarity idea. It's not about being forced to wear something... Like that. It's wearing a uniform.

Uh that tldr is too long:

Etldr: callie can't be mind controlled no matter how much people insist, brainwashing literally is about propaganda and not "oh no my memories are lost I can't feel ::((("

You literally cannot force her to not have autonomy no matter if it's "brainwashing vs hypnosis"

It's NOT MIND CONTROLLL 😭😭😭😭

o god this is super long

I actually got a comment that was VERY similar to this!!! Someone (I forgot who) said, "I'm gonna think of cult brainwashing instead of sci-fi brainwashing for callie for my own sanity."

From my knowledge, the term brainwashing has always been this general term to describe mind control plots and shit like that and people use it poorly and wrongly. And THAT'S where my anger comes from. Because people wanna make Callie's arc in Splatoon 2 way worse, more disgusting and less interesting. It's so SOOOOO annoying and disregards any sort of arc that Callie could go through....

The word is either used in cults, or military experiments, or family drama of "you're brainwashing my child!" Or sci fi lazy bullshit where it's just "mind control and you lose all of your autonomy and memories" aka Winter Soldier, Widowmaker, etc. It's such a general term that has a trillion different meanings and it's fucking frustrating as hell.

If I try to look at Callie’s story through the lens of "standard" brainwashing where it's just psychological manipulation and propaganda from the Octarians and Octavio, considering that he is known to use music and other things as motivation to boost Octarians.... then... I actually wouldn't have a problem with people using that word... maybe...

Because Callie STILL had some amount of agency and autonomy, even with the shades on, she couldn't have been forced to do anything against her will cause of how hypnosis works. She still heard out the Octarians and listened to their propaganda. Was Octavio still in the wrong? Yeah! DUHHHH!!! NO FUCKING SHIT SHERLOCK!!! HE MANIPULATED A MENTALLY ILL SQUID WOMAN!!! YOU THINK IM RESOLVING THAT MAN OF BLAME?!?! FUCK NO!!! But in that scenario it's WAYYYY LESS EVIL than what the fuck people and Nintendo tried to suggest that they did. I dont wanna believe that Octavio immediately grabbed and then "brainwashed" Callie with the shades after she said "okay fine I'll hear you out." And then "kidnapped" her and her memories were wiped... Ugh. (Fucking Nintendo bro god I hate them...)

It would also help explain WHY she doesn't feel any sort of trauma or suffering from those events and why she finds the Octarians cute and why she went with Octavio to the Low Water party. She probably felt sorry for the Octarians and wanted to help them willingly because her life beforehand was shitty and she was alone... Octavio probably didn't need to do much to convince her, too, which is kinda sad... She probably doesn't feel regret or pain because, well, she was going through a rough period and she wanted an escape, so the Octarians, in her mind, were the only way out...

However.... I can't see that word the same anymore, and every time that I see it, I ALWAYS think of the bullshit sci-fi definition and people just LOVEEEE TO USE IT AS A CATCH ALL TERM!!!! IT'S REALLY REALLYYYYYY ANNOYING!!!!

That word has actually caused me physical reactions when I hear it, like I was in a family dinner and one of my parents used that word and like... I fucking tensed up and felt stinging across my entire body, my heart was pounding and stuff. NO THAT ISNT A JOKE! THATS HOW FIXATED I AM ON THE STUPID SQUID LADY!!!!

Idk if I will be able to comfortably use the word "brainwashing" to describe Hypno Callie because that word has been fully engrained to me as the sci fi. one, rather than the general cult one with more autonomy and more room to dive into depth and character change.

I guess you could say that Nintendo have... BRAINWASHED me into believing that the word is only used as a way to say mind control and "oh no I lost all of my memories!!!" Heh... Heh... eh.... I wanna die.

I fucking hate Nintendo bro. I hate them. So much.

Oh Nintendo, when I find you I swear to go-

[lm-tomatito]

Espilver week day 7: Fortune

Death and love au

Silver confesses to Amy one of the reasons why he's constantly putting himself in dangerous situations despite being a common mortal: the desire to see his protector. As the angel of love that she is, Amy can't help but speculate about their possible future together.

“I already told you, I'm not the one keeping you from dying. Cupids don't have any power over life and death.” She sighed, hands on her waist and head slightly low. She was both frustrated and worried about her friend constantly putting himself in danger, and not knowing why he always escaped mortal, life changing injuries or death itself. Or more like she did know who might be the one helping him, but just not knowing why.

Her friend was someone who wanted to help others too much, not taking his own well being into account. He was very kind, always full of hope, but too stubborn and naive. It worried her a lot, not wanting to lose one of her few friends, not in a horrible way, not fighting the spirits and monsters the angels were responsible for. So, in her desire to protect her dear friend, she asked for the help of the only angels she knew could keep him safe and alive, and hopefully change his mind. But one hadn't given a concrete answer, simply shaking his head and hiding his face, not speaking as it was usual, while the other had immediately refused, saying how they shouldn't be playing so lightly with life.

Clearly, one of them had changed their mind, but why? And who?

“I know that.” He said a bit awkwardly. “I… I know who's actually helping me.”

“You do?” The pink little angel exclaimed with surprise and curiosity.

“Well…” He scratched the back of his head, his hat moving a little causing him to move his hands to fix it. “More like I've seen him. I haven't exactly interacted or spoken with him yet.”

“Uh-huh?” She promoted him to keep talking, expecting him to describe looks, clothes, anything that could help her decipher who she'd have to get answers from.

“That's why I… Umm…” She wasn't expecting him to avert his gaze so awkwardly and blush, nor the words that followed. “That's why I'll keep doing what I'm doing. I should… I need to talk to them.”

“WHAT?!” Outrageous, crazy, she was expecting him to be more careful or even quit after a couple of near death experiences, even hoping seeing an angel of death would deter him from risking his life this much. And yet here he was, wanting to do it again, and again, until he could, what, say hello to him? He shaked a bit, not out of fear or wavering determination but simply because of her loud voice, small ears trying to adjust themselves again after flattening so suddenly.

“I have to do it, I want to know their name at least. I would like to have some small talk too but I don't know how busy you guys are. What you do is like your job, right? Do you get paid for it?” He shaked his head after his little ramble, trying to focus again. “Whatever. I just want to talk to them. You're an angel of love, you understand… Right?” He asked, voice suddenly shy.

“Yes. You want me to talk with him or something?” He quickly shaked his head and she sighed. “Then? And what does me being an angel of love have to do with any-... Oh… OH.” Realization suddenly hit her, and her concerned expression changed to one of absolute joy, eyes big and sparkling while she quickly got close to her friend and took his hands in hers. “YOU’RE IN LOVE?!”

“I- No? I don't know.” He tried to answer, stumbling his words and feeling the heat on his face. He really didn't know anything about love, he hadn't ever been in any relationship, or experienced these feelings. All he knew is he was mesmerized by that angel's enigmatic appearance, his mysterious vibe, and those eyes…

“You're thinking about him!” She squealed, all too knowing about love and used to reading people's emotions. “Wait, who is it? Who did you see?”

“Who? What do you mean, there are more? Why does it sound like you know about this?”

“Oh.” She froze for a moment, nervously looking at the ground. She didn't want him to know she was trying to convince other angels to stop him from harming himself, because she knew he was doing it for a good cause, as much as it worried her. “Well, you know, angel stuff. I might or might not know him.” This made the other's suspicions go away, ears perking up with interest.

“You know the cute goth guy?” His eagerness was showing, a lot. Realizing what he said, he blushed again, his gaze finding an interest in his shoes, not elaborating more or denying his statement.

Amy thought for a bit. Goth? Death angels used black, but all of them did. Something about hiding with more ease in the shadows. She fortunately only had to figure out which one of the two death angels currently in the city he meant. If he wasn't talking about their black clothes, then vibes? But both of them had similar personalities, the two being very reserved and quiet, just one seemed more serious while the other just silently followed her around for some reason.

And then it hit her. If the blue red eyed hedgehog was only with her when he wasn't dealing with spirits or things in limbo, then only the other could be the one at his friend's side. And that meant…

That meant the one who helped his friend was the angel everyone knew for being very serious and efficient with his job, but also, the angel she knew for being a romantic, secretly sappy, and very protective of those he cared for. Reliable, a good match. A perfect match. Her cupid senses were skyrocketing.

“AH!” Her sudden excited scream made the other hedgehog jump a little bit.

“A-Amy?”

“I see it. I see it!” She exclaimed again, twirling a little, thoughts of romance in her head again, her halo brightening up and her wings flapping excitedly. Clasping her hands together, she let her fortune telling instincts run wild. “Oh, I see it so clearly! You're in the middle of a perilous confrontation, completely outnumbered and without escape! Suddenly, strong wind surrounds you, filling you with a nice protective warmth and the faint fragrance of roses! And then, someone arrives and puts himself between you and the danger, large protective wings covering you while every spirit in front of you cowers. They fear his authority, but you? You just get lost in his eyes when he looks at you, and you tremble when you hear his voice asking -”

“Are you alright?”

While Amy giggled to herself, enjoying the image in her head as she usually did, her friend just stood quietly, eyes big from both awkwardness and excitement, face completely red and hands shaking a bit.

The whole scenario had left him speechless, but even more what she had said last, because for some reason, a low muffled voice saying those words to him were in his memory, from that day he saw the angel of death for the first time. He hadn't understood anything at that moment, completely disoriented, body heavy and ears ringing after getting too close to an explosion. He remembered now, he understood now, and it shook him.

He already had issues understanding his new feelings, so strange to him that it filled him with fear but excitement too. Now he has one of Amy's love fortune readings. Silver didn't know how that ability of hers worked. Were they supposed to be things that became real? Or were they more interpretative? He wasn't sure, never being able to see the results of Amy's work, just people that were already a couple.

Whatever the case, he still wanted to talk to this guy. He wanted to see him again.

“I heard there are some wild spirits appearing in the outskirts of the city at night. Maybe I'll get the chance to see him there.”

Amy looked at him getting out of her daydreaming state. She still gave him a worried look, but smiled nonetheless.

“Just be careful, alright?” He nodded, returning a grin to her, a bit of playfulness in his face.

“I'll try!” He laughed while the pink hedgehog pouted a little bit.

“I'll be rooting for you!” She yelled once he started walking away, making him blush again, crossing his arms to give himself some sort of support.

“Thank you?” He shakily blurted out. Even if he didn't sound like that, he was sure his friend would be looking out for him in some way. He felt even more determined to help people now that he had two angels looking after him. He just needed to get to know the new one.

And maybe, he hoped, Amy's fortune would actually become real that day.

[phenixy-dunnhart]

WARNING ! SPOILERS for TLOVM season 3 and Campaign 1

I'm a bit sad with all the negativity in the tlovm tags following this new batch of episodes. Because all the usual appreciation and fun details pointing is drown in it. So I'll do my part and draw some light and appreciation for the following things:

"Allura can't teleport us 'cause we mind wind up in the ocean" Nice nod

The beauty of Glintshore sand? crystals ? I mean, I know the entire island isn't covered in it, but it's there and it's gorgeous

Vax and Grog banter, Pike and Vax friendship when she stole his badass line. Who says that the friendships in tlovm are not showed ? It's smaller because they're running out of time but if you keep both eyes open, you can catch the small moments.

How good was the delirium gas ?

Percy having bad Ripley PTSD ?Check.

Orthax forcing the (gas) mask on Percy's face ? Oh f*ck me that was so good.

Elaina's first appearence and Vex's heart torment ? Check

Vex fighting the gas messing with her mind and seeing Percy getting kidnapped ? Great

Her seeing Percy devoured by some hellish pain ? Awesome foreshadowing for Orthax feeding on Percy's soul

I won't dwell too much on ep 7 because I'm Perc'ahlia trash and this was pure gold but ALL their scenes.

And these two shots:

They're the last thing they think about before passing out. And look at them, they're looking at each other. Great parallels, great cinematography

You want more parallels ? You're not in enough pain ? I've got more ! How about this ?:

Percy cradling Vex because he doesn't want to lose her.

Vex cradling Percy because she lost him

MY HEART !!!!!!

Anyways back to our regular program: The color scheme in the factory is on point. Predominance of green during all Ripley's discussion with percy, some blasts of orange for Orthax.

This shot when they want to make us think Percy will go dark but also because he sincerly understand. He sees with her (green) eyes

Culminating in theses shots:

In the end, the true Percy is good (he's blue which is both his color and Vex's)

Then we got some nice Pike and Kiki character development with the delirium gas

Percy's fight with Ripley is pure display of his capacities and wits, not unlike Vex's fight against Saundor or Grog's fight against Kevdak. The fights with nemesis are always awesome, well choreographed and both characters and animators flexing.

And I like Grog's delirium both beacause it brings a bit of comic relief in this big painful episode but that's not all there is. Because when he gets out of it, he asks Pike if he hurt her again and you can't convince me that he didn't saw Craven Edge and the pain he inflicted Pike in his PTSD (not showed but we know)

Onto episode 8, love the Stilben flashback and the dead mystic cult leader being Taliesin.

The funeral was powerful and beautiful. The highlights being Cassandra crying her last family member and Vex'ahlia not saying the prayer despite being one of the Dawnfather.

Scanlan putting Kaylie's song music sheet on the altar for Percy breaks my heart. For him, he lost both of them and also he traded the life of his friend for moments with Kaylie (which he didn't even had, that's so sad)

Vox Machina assembling all of their allies with the beautiful OST was awesome while conserving this... heaviness. We're still grieving (at least I'm still am)

Vex and Syldor whole convesrsation. Laura Bailey, the talented woman you are and Troy Baker did a great job at humanizing him. though he's still a prick.

Vaxleth and Pikelan scenes were cute

We've got LARKIN mentioned and by Vax nonetheless !

Earthbreaker Groon and Grog doing the slapping hands/muscles flexing meme !

How brutal Thordak's attacks are in ep 8 and 9, all the people dying to rise up the stakes worked really well in my opinion.

Travis smarts piercing through Grog's 6 INT just like in the campaign

Earthbreaker Groon being a BAMF with that suplex

The teamwork going strong during all the fight

Zahra and Kash coming in to save the day. I love them your honor

My jaw dropped at Kashaw's badass magical attack. THAT WAS AWESOME and dropped further at his death. I couldn't believe it at first and as bold as a choice it was, I really liked it. Because it's a thing to kill NPC nameless army guys but killing a beloved character: that take some balls . And because of the unpredictability, the shock hit. I'm always here for the drama and it was beautifully done (the visuals for the Raven Queen and her powers are always as gorgeous as ominous).

Mary Elizabeth McGlynn also showing off her VA talent

In the end, every VM members getting his moment of glory :

Vex with getting the Syngorn army while being at her lowest/rock bottom ("The truth is the only bargaining chip at rock bottom", really nice parallels with the Stillben flashback + her using Percy's philosophy)

Grog destroying the lair

Scanlan getting them out of there at the peril at his life and ending up in a coma (nice subversion so there are not two dead party members followed up by two ressurections)

Keyleth being her badass elemental self (with her two gorgeous muscial leitmotives "blinded by the light" + "passing through the fire")

Pike being able to absorb Thordak -not red but- blue fire/laser which we saw went through Emon like butter. That's one MONSTAH move with beautiful beautiful colors (red yellow and blue mixing) look at this shot:

And Vax having the last kill, thinking of his mother doing this for Emon sure but most important for his mom, Vex and himself and what a beautiful shot and power move with the twisting golden and black torpedo that he is.

A great powerful death for a great powerful foe

And then some sorrow and sweetness. The Vaxleth back hug was adorable.

And that last shot of Keyleth after the confrontation with Raishan makes me long for more and to already be next week.

And that's some positivity and appreciation of CR work because they pour their heart and soul into these series and these characters and it's beautiful and I see it. I hope I could put some light on it at my small scale.

Have a great day and let's wait impatiently for next week and end of season 3

[inkspiredwriting]

Against the Odds

Five Hargreeves x Fem!reader

Warnings: none

The sun hung low on the horizon, casting a blood-red hue over the desolate landscape. Five Hargreeves stood amidst the ruins, his heart pounding as he stared at the chaos unfolding around him. Buildings crumbled, the ground trembled, and the sky swirled with ominous dark clouds. He could feel the world teetering on the brink of collapse.

In the center of the storm stood Y/n, her eyes glowing with an eerie light, her powers raging out of control. Waves of energy pulsed from her, ripping through the air and causing destruction wherever they touched. Her face, usually so kind and gentle, was now a mask of anguish and fear.

"Y/n!" Five shouted, his voice barely audible over the cacophony of destruction. He took a step toward her, his heart aching. "Y/n, you have to stop this!"

Y/n turned to face him, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I can't, Five!" she cried, her voice cracking. "I can't control it! I don't know how to stop!"

Five's mind raced. He knew Y/n's powers were formidable, but he had never seen anything like this. She was a force of nature, and he was helpless against her raw, untamed energy. But he had to try. He had to save her.

Summoning his courage, Five blinked closer to her, his heart pounding in his chest. He reached out, trying to find a way to connect with her amidst the chaos. "Y/n, listen to me," he said, his voice trembling with emotion. "You’re stronger than this. You can control it. You have to believe in yourself."

Y/n's eyes widened, and for a moment, Five saw a flicker of recognition in them. But then another wave of energy surged from her, and Five was thrown backward, crashing into the rubble. Pain shot through his body, but he forced himself to stand, his determination unwavering.

Behind him, his siblings—Luther, Diego, Allison, Klaus, and Viktor—watched in horror, unsure of how to help. They had faced apocalypses before, but this felt different. This was personal.

"Five, what do we do?" Viktor shouted, his voice filled with desperation.

Five gritted his teeth, his mind racing. He had to think of something. He couldn't lose Y/n. Not like this. "Stay back!" he yelled to his siblings. "I'll handle this."

Luther, his brow furrowed with concern, took a step forward. "Five, you can't do this alone!"

"She's my wife," Five replied, his voice breaking. "I have to try."

As the ground shook beneath him, Five took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart. He blinked closer to Y/n again, this time with a new plan in mind. He had to reach her, not just with words, but with his heart. He had to remind her of who she was, of the love they shared.

"Y/n," he said softly, his voice carrying through the chaos. "Remember our first date? We went to that terrible diner, and nothing went according to plan. But we laughed, and it turned out to be the best night of my life. Remember how we danced in the rain, arguing about which constellation was which?"

Y/n's eyes flickered again, and Five could see the struggle within her. "I remember," she whispered, her voice barely audible. "But I can't control it, Five. It's too much."

Five took another step closer, his heart aching. "You can control it, Y/n. I believe in you. Remember our daughter, Maddie? Remember how happy we were when she was born? You have to fight this, for her, for us."

Tears streamed down Y/n's face, and Five could see the conflict in her eyes. She wanted to stop, but she didn’t know how. Five reached out, his hand trembling, and placed it gently on her cheek. "I'm here, Y/n," he said softly. "I'm with you. We'll do this together."

For a moment, everything seemed to pause. The world around them, the chaos, the destruction—it all faded away. It was just the two of them, standing together, connected by their love.

Y/n closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. She focused on Five's touch, on his words, on their memories. Slowly, the energy around her began to wane, the waves of destruction receding. Five felt the tension ease, a glimmer of hope sparking in his chest.

But just as it seemed they might have a chance, a final surge of power erupted from Y/n, knocking Five to the ground. She screamed, the energy consuming her, and Five’s heart shattered. He had to do something. He had to save her, even if it meant stopping her.

With a heavy heart, Five blinked back to his siblings, his mind racing. "We need to contain her powers," he said, his voice urgent. "It’s the only way to stop this."

Diego nodded, determination in his eyes. "What do you need us to do?"

"We'll create a barrier," Five replied, his voice shaking. "Luther, Viktor, Klaus—Be ready to use your powers as soon as I give you the signal. Allison, if it gets too intense, use your rumor to calm her. I'll try to reach her again."

His siblings sprang into action, forming a circle around Y/n. Five blinked back to Y/n, his heart pounding. He had to reach her. He had to save her.

"Y/n, listen to me," Five said urgently, his voice cracking. "You can control this. Focus on me, on our love. Remember who you are. Remember us."

Y/n’s eyes met his, and for a moment, Five saw a glimmer of hope. But the power was too much. She screamed, her energy surging, and the barrier began to crack. Five felt a surge of desperation. He couldn’t lose her. Not now.

Taking a deep breath, he did the only thing he could think of. He blinked right in front of her, wrapping his arms around her, holding her tightly. "I love you, Y/n," he whispered, his voice breaking. "I love you so much. Please, come back to me."

For a moment, everything was still. Then, slowly, the energy around them began to fade. Y/n’s powers waned, her body trembling in Five’s arms. She looked up at him, tears streaming down her face, and for the first time, Five saw recognition in her eyes.

"Five?" she whispered, her voice filled with pain and fear.

"It’s me," Five said softly, his own tears falling. "I’m here. We’re going to be okay. Just focus on me. I’m with you."

Y/n took a deep breath, closing her eyes. Slowly, her powers faded, the world around them beginning to settle. Five held her tightly, his heart pounding in his chest. They had done it. They had stopped the apocalypse.

As the dust settled, Five’s siblings approached, their faces filled with relief and exhaustion. Y/n looked up at them, her eyes filled with regret. "I’m so sorry," she whispered, her voice trembling. "I didn’t mean to—"

"It’s okay," Luther said softly, his voice filled with understanding. "We know it wasn’t your fault."

Diego nodded, placing a hand on her shoulder. "We’re family. We stick together, no matter what."

Klaus grinned, wiping a tear from his eye. "And besides, it’s not a real Hargreeves apocalypse without a bit of chaos, right?"

Y/n managed a small smile, her eyes filled with gratitude. Five held her close, his heart swelling with love and relief. They had faced the impossible and come out the other side. They were battered, bruised, but they were together.

As they stood amidst the ruins, Five made a silent promise to himself. No matter how difficult things became, he would always fight for his family. For Y/n, for their daughter, for his siblings. They were his world, and he would do anything to protect them.

In that moment, surrounded by his family, Five knew that they would face whatever came next together, stronger and more united than ever. And as he held Y/n close, he whispered softly, "We’ll get through this. We always do."

Y/n looked up at him, her eyes filled with love and determination. "Together," she said softly, echoing his words. "We’ll get through this together."

Five nodded, his heart full. Together, they could face anything.

[areyoudreaminof]

Like a Bright New Dream: Feysand 2.0

Did you all really think I wouldn't make a playlist for @officialfeysandweek?

From boot-knocking to their friendship, Feysand just reminds me what I love so much about this series. A couple that are truly partners and bring out the best in each other.

As always, deep dive under the cut!

The Warmth-Paris Paloma

It can't hurt me It's still there, but it can't now, the warmth's returning The warmth is coming back, and now, no, it can't hurt me It's still there, but it can't now, the warmth's returning

Here My Love-Jessica Pratt

He's sincerely worn this weary heart Here my love, near my love Try to keep my worries safe from where they'll do you harm But I can't be sure, endeavors I'm depending on Your love had a tender tone, would ease my own Fear my love, here my love

Head Over Feet-Alanis Morissette

You've already won me over In spite of me And don't be alarmed if I fall Head over feet And don't be surprised if I love you For all that you are I couldn't help it It's all your fault

All In Good Time-Iron and Wine & Fiona Apple

Dancing 'til we both collapse Wishing we could hide our tracks Something wants to eat us all Alive

Moon Girl-Ha Vey

Find me barefoot on the hillside swinging Pray down on your knees I'll keep all of your secrets tied up, up 'Cause I'm enveloped by the stars And I want you as you are Take me easily so far As I can dance to your guitar

Hearts a Mess-Gotye

Pick apart the pieces of your heart And let me peer inside Let me in where only your thoughts have been Let me occupy your mind as you do mine

Your heart's a mess You won't admit to it It makes no sense, but I'm desperate to connect And you, you can't live like this

Snooze-SZA

I'll touch that fire for you I do that three, four times again, I testify for you Long as you dreamin' 'bout me, ain't no problem I don't got nobody, just with you right now Tell the truth, I look better under you I can't lose when I'm with you How can I snooze and miss the moment? You just too important Nobody do body like you do

Black Mambo-Glass Animals

Slow down, it’s a science He’s been waiting to bring you down Snake eyed with a sly smile He can hold you and shake you child Leopards laze each on plush pillows Slender capes of red and chrome Paperback dreams in their deep doze Twitch their toes to black mambo

Witches-Alice Phoebe Lou

You've got this golden way of making my body sway Of making my mind fly away, of making it fly It's the world I love to be in Come on, let's go high above the ceiling Oh, we could be feeling, oh, what we could be feeling

2001-Foals

Oh, now the sun is up, high in the sky Lost in the sugar rush, violet sky Beachside candy cane, blue tongues in summer rain

I've been waiting all day inside Waiting for a summer sky When we run wild, we'll come up for air and go under again I've been waiting all day inside

Strawberry Swing-Coldplay

People movin' all the time Inside a perfectly straight line Don't you wanna just curve away? When it's such, it's such a perfect day It's such a perfect day Now the sky could be blue, I don't mind Without you, it's a waste of time Could be blue, I don't mind Without you, it's a waste of time Well, the sky could be blue, could be grey Without you, I'm just miles away

Adorn-Miguel

These lips (Would you be my f—) Can't wait to taste your skin (My friend, my freak) Baby, no, oh, no (Would you be my friend, my freak?) And these eyes, yeah I can't wait to see your grin (Art dealer chic) Just let my love Just let my love adorn you

Die For You-The Weeknd

Even though we're goin' through it And it makes you feel alone Just know that I would die for you Baby, I would die for you, yeah The distance and the time between us It'll never change my mind 'cause Baby, I would die for you

Love You For A Long Time-Maggie Rogers

Came in like a vision from the old west wind Like a bright new dream that I was steppin' in I saw your face, and I knew it was a sign And I still think about that moment All of the time You know that I could never make this up I found the reason and I'm not givin' it up I felt the fever, and I knew it was mine Oh I'm gonna love you for a long time

TAGLIST: @becandidbeautifully @bunburyahoy @bookishwithathought @foundress0fnothing @itsthedoodle @iftheshoef1tz @kataravimes-of-the-shire @melting-houses-of-gold @octobers-veryown @officialfeysandweek @popjunkie42 @rosanna-writer @romanticatheartt @reverie-tales @secret-third-thing @tunaababee @thesistersarcheron @the-lonelybarricade @separatist-apologist @velidewrites @witchlingsandwyverns @xtaketwox @temperedink @amandapearls @berd-nerd @shallyne @cauldronblssd @witch-and-her-witcher

[bookwyrminspiration]

bc wikipedia says cambodia was the last independent country to have color film (quote unquote in the 80s) but they HAD color film. they had it in the 60s, before the khmer rouge destroyed all the copies they could (although not all of them, bc be real) because it was a western invention. and i knew this vaguely because my mom had told me about all the colors and how beautiful it was, but like to SEE it realized. to look at their faces and realize that they were alive and i may not look like them but they could have been the people surrounding me. to see this silly classic romance movie clip or this little thing from another movie..... just THE LIFE. THERE WAS LIFE BEFORE IT ALL. and fuck it was so beautiful quil, they were all so beautiful, it was all just people. and there was the rock movement in the 70s inspired by elvis and bowie and all the classic rock greats that is also EXACTLY ITS OWN that u can find in bands like dengue fever and cambodian space project and i just found a documentary about the rock and roll in that era that i've been looking for since like 2021... just. and like. i was melancholy about it for a minute beause look at all these things i did not get to have but then also on the flip side now i get to learn about them and see all this joy and hold my own culture growing up in this specific place in america with these communities and it's just all this beautiful interconnectedness of culture and history and people being people. i will cry if i think about the movies more though.

Yeah! Like you can know something, but sometimes it doesn't really sink in or you don't fully process it. And then something makes you reflect on it and you become so so aware of just. humanity. and everything in the world

those people in the clips were real people. having fun, laughing, playing in the water. it's proof you can watch of the joy and life before the khmer rouge. the specific details of life and what they choose to include, to immortalize as best they can when they have the option

it's easy to feel isolated, I think? from the language, from the history, from the reality of it all. at least for me it is, at times. and its things like this that remind you that even as warped and twisted and things might've become, even though we can't go back and we're so different now, there's a connection there. you're connected to it, no matter how small

and there's so many feelings that come with that! the grief of seeing how much has been lost, how much has had to change, but the comfort and connection of rediscovery and what's still there. everything is so connected it's wild to think about and try to conceptualize the intersection of it all

[feelbetterlove-books]

Even when you have a hard day just remember, Bucktommy "has anyone ever told you you're a vision in a cone?" will always be there. Tommy Kinard looked at his adorable boyfriend with a silly party hat on and thought Evan, you're beautiful, you're stunning, you're ravishing, you're a sight for sore eyes. I could never get tired of looking at you. I cherish you. There's nowhere I'd rather be than behind this couch at your side. And he was so real for that.

[thekittyokat]

you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah

[deoidesign]

Hello! I just discovered your blog and I immediately became captivated by your webcomic, but I'm unsure where to read all of it. I know it's on Webtoons, but I can see it hasn't been updated for a while, and you still post about it.

Are your physical novels just prints of the webcomic? Are they a continuation? Is the story complete? Thanks in advance!

Hi there!

Glad you found me and are enjoying my comic!

It's only on webtoons, and the story is not complete yet! We're 2/3 of the way through right now. It's currently on hiatus, and it's scheduled to come back in about 2 months!

I'll explain why it's been so long if you're curious, but also for my followers who might also be wondering about it under the cut. Sorry, it's pretty much just me complaining haha

I took a month off I took 2 months to get the books printed I took a month to prepare my next comic and I took 2 months to write the rest of the series (I knew the character arcs I wanted, but not the time periods or mysteries!!!) I've been working on actual episodes since then

I had to take some time off because of some pretty extreme burnout due to the sheer amount of work it was to draw over 800 pages and write 6 complete stories in a year and a half... I was getting sick almost weekly due to the overwork, it was really really bad honestly. I was having to work 60+ hours every week just to keep up...

The nature of the comic itself is also difficult... Each of the arcs is a complete, self contained story which can be read (ideally) without context, and my arcs need to be about 10-13 episodes each... And since I have an exact number of episodes to work with, it's even harder.

It takes a ton of planning and a ton of refinement, and working week to week with no breaks I was forced to put out second or even first drafts, so I just wasn't happy with the work I was doing... And to do that for the rest of the series? I wouldn't be proud of the work I did.

Plus... To be entirely honest, webtoon has treated me quite badly IN MY OPINION... They deprioritized me before I launched (I had to beg for more promotion, I'm not exaggerating), they outright denied me the opportunity to even ask for a raise, I don't make any money on fast pass and they pay me less than my partner makes working at trader joes. My first editor left me completely hanging, my second editor (who I loved) was fired... And they told me I wouldn't get a third season before my first season even finished. So it was just repeatedly completely demoralizing.

I'm sorry it has taken so long, it'll have been 10 months by the time I come back. But I realized... I won't get promotion either way. I won't get more episodes either way. I won't get more money either way. So to finish everything, to make it feel good, to make it something I'm proud of, I chose to take longer to make it better.

I am fully aware I will lose a significant amount of my readership for this and it might genuinely affect my career moving forward. But it's what I had to do! So I'm sticking to my guns on it, and I'm confident long term it'll be worth it. It never could have been this good if I didn't take this much time.

[rickybaby]

Fear, faith, friendship: Inside F1’s most precious relationship

Tom Stallard, Daniel's race engineer at McLaren, speaks out about his collaboration with Daniel in BBC's article about the relationship between drivers and race engineers.

[piko-power]

My Personal Headcanon On Why Amy's Love For Sonic Died Down Lately (and their dynamic)

When they were younger, Amy's love for Sonic was pretty extreme, and Sonic was, understandable, uncomfortable for the most part. He knows she means well, but that girl needs to calm down.

She can fight, but sometimes her hammer could only stun her enemies for a while. (It took her a long time to get rid of that robot that has been chasing her around Station Square.) She wasn't fully independent yet, even if she fought on her own a couple of times.

She often follows Sonic and his friends around. She is part of the team, but she was not a strong as she is now at the time yet.

She admires Sonic. A LOT. And Sonic knows that. Obviously, he could only run away from something like that, since he is NOT ready for that kind of thing, and whether Amy takes the hint or stop, she still loves him.

...BUT, I think things were slightly starting to change between her and Sonic after Lost World.

Remember this line?

You remember that? Okay, okay. Here's another totally unrelated question:

Before the events of Lost World, when was the last time Amy said "I love you" to Sonic out loud?

...YEP. 😈 (Unless I'm missing something, let me know lmao)

As more games and adventures come out, the characters get slightly older, and Amy is 12 to 13 now, and she is most certainly at that age where her body starts to change, but especially on how she views Sonic.

She knows she loves Sonic, but it was this moment during her change where she actually wanted to admit that she loves him.

I believe that Amy was all about sharing her affection to him not through confessions, but through obvious hints. Sonic totally got it, and there was no need to confess. Sonic knows she loves her.

...But she never said it. And she almost did, but she never did again for a while.

I think this was the moment in her life where, oh, God, she actually loves Sonic. SHE LOVES HIM, WHAT.

And she was looking back at all the times she had with Sonic that she can now see were unpleasant to Sonic (At least that's what she thinks) and that's probably why she isn't so expressive about her love to him than how she used to back then.

She wasn't sure what to do with this realization, and sets aside it for a while, and nearly stayed as her casual, peppy self... until the Eggman War happened.

During the 6 months of being with the Resistance, fighting Eggman's army all day and all night, all she can think of was Sonic.

She dreams that he still with not just her, but with her friends. She just wanted to see Sonic again, she just wants to be with her hero again.

But I'd like to think that she was also thinking about how she used to treat Sonic back when they were younger, how Sonic would almost always run away from her whenever she asks him out, or always look so uncomfortable whenever she gets so close to him.

Cringing at those memories big time, she wanted to change and hopefully when Sonic is okay and comes back, she can be better for him.

...Or will he still find her uncomfortable regardless? Would he even be happy to see her at all if he did survive?

But, hold on! She can't just give up her love for Sonic! He made her who she is today! A peppy, nature-loving, hammer-swinging, confident, brave... loud-mouth... annoying... Sonic obsessed... weak... pathetic... lonely little girl.

If she gives up on Sonic, it'll be like she gave up on the one hedgehog who saved her life. If she didn't she'll still be the same ol' Amy.

I also like to think she had parents a long while before she met Sonic, and was even expecting a little sister, but a robot invasion happened from where she was and attacked her parents and instead of trying to save them, after getting hurt, she ran away, hoping that they'll come back okay. But they never did.

She was all alone, and needed someone, a friend, a new family, someone who will hold her hand, anyone, to be there for her. But she was ignored by lots, and at that point, she's better off by herself, but still longed for company.

Eventually though, her tarot cards told her her future hero, and there might be hope after all. She encountered Sonic, held onto the belief of the cards tight, and the rest is history.

So, with that headcanon in mind, not only did Amy loose her parents that she didn't save because of her cowardliness (she was only so little at the time that happened) and also Sonic, who she thought will be her only hope, but now gone.

She doesn't even care if he did come back, he'd probably hate her now after everything she did to him, always talking about their "future wedding" or forcing him to go to Twinkle Park.

For the last few months of the war, it was nothing but Amy mentally beating herself up for either refusing to change or moving on, and they are both not fine choices.

She loves Sonic, but he does not love her, and she finally, finally realized it. And it's probably for the best if no body loved her at all.

But of course Sonic did survive and all of her worries wash away in an instant, she's just not expressive about her love for Sonic AT ALL now, since she's still worried about it but rather not mention it to Sonic because it doesn't matter.

If Sonic doesn't love her, then her feelings don't matter to him, and according to Amy herself, that is okay.

But also, I'd like to think that Sonic was thinking about his friends a lot up in the Death Egg for the past months, sometimes it's Tails (worried for his safety), sometimes it's Shadow (because he's wondering why he would join Eggman.) At some point, for a few days, Amy was in his mind the longest, and he felt bad about how he thought he was rude and pushy to her.

He wondered if she's not thinking about it too much, and if she is, will she give up on him? Yeah, he doesn't feel the same and still not looking for a relationship, but it's so strange but interesting how anyone could ever like someone like Sonic the Hedgehog. Amy was never afraid to show that, and she probably might be now.

He couldn't help but feel guilty. They were kids when she was like this, but he was so... arrogant at the time too. Not a lot happened at the time yet. He'd always have trouble expressing how much he value his friends, until he shattered the Paradox Prism. (I'd like to think Prime took place before Forces. It makes sense.)

She is such a sweet girl, and he probably made her believe that he didn't care for her. Just because he doesn't feel the same, that doesn't mean he hates her at all.

He wished he never ran away from Amy... Worrying for his little bro and wishing to be a good person for Amy was when Sonic cried in the Death Egg for the first and only time.

Frontiers, in my opinion, is kind of confirming their dynamic now. Sonic is a lot more sincere and kinder to Amy and she is not all hyperactive and lovey to Sonic. There is probably a real reason for this now.

They are both hiding their feelings from them, and they are both unaware of this. Amy, hiding her mental issues from Sonic, and Sonic, hiding his guilt away from Amy.

None of those things are important now. Sonic is with Amy and Amy is with Sonic. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.

They don't care if they'll ever be something more when they get older. None of that matters anymore. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.

Maybe someday they'll both talk about it, but for now, the present is important. They care about each other too much to think about it right now.

It's the kind of love that is unbreakable. It doesn't even have to be romantic. It's just love. Love is important for everyone, in any form. It's something Sonic and his friends need. And especially Sonic and Amy.

Amy Rose is the living embodiment of love, and without her, a lot would go downhill for Sonic and co. Heck, if it weren't for her, Shadow wouldn't have never remembered Maria's promise, which lead him to save the world with Sonic, before he temporarily disappeared from their lives for a while.

She is always there to lend a helping hand for anybody, even bad guys like Metal Sonic, and despite what she had been through, both in Forces and headcanon wise, she still fights back, even without her hammer.

She will pick you back up on your feet, reminding you that you are important and that you are loved, and that you should never give up. It's pretty much the words of encouragement she herself needed also...

She is still the happy, hyper, butt-kicking hedgehog we all know and love, but she still need someone to pick her back up on her feet after so long. Thankfully, she has her friends and her blue hero. The hero who made her who she is today.

I think Amy has no idea how important she thought she is, but Sonic does. Sonic knows fully well how important she is to a lot of people. It's about time he returns the favor to her. It's his turn to remind her how much a lot of people love her.

How much he loves her.

And I feel like The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog was the moment where their dynamic really shined, but also the starting point of their relationship not only healing, but also the next chapter of what's to come for them.

Everyone, friends old and new, gathered around for a special birthday. A birthday for the confident, unshakable, and radiant Amy Rose.

It was such a special moment in Amy's life. After years of chasing and following the people she look up to, she is part of the team, but most importantly, she is part of the family.

She is fully realized as someone more than just a fangirl, but someone strong, courageous, creative, kind and a big inspiration for others.

I feel like this moment here...

-is where Amy is eternally grateful to call her friends her family. A family she thought she'll never have again. She's not alone anymore, and as long as they're by her side, she'll never will be again.

Her chasing days are over. She's finally caught up to them. She's finally home.

And it's all thanks to Sonic.

If it weren't for him, she'd probably be alone forever. Her past moments with Sonic might be embarrassing to look back on for a while, but they are good memories regardless, because they involve him.

Sonic saved her life in more ways than one, and despite everything, he's grateful to have her too.

He cares about her. He really does... And in her eyes, that all she needed to know. As long as Sonic loves her in his own way, she'll be happy.

Amy hasn't given up on Sonic. As long as Amy always supports him, he'll be happy.

Maybe sometime in the future, they can talk about their problems, but that's a story for another time. At this point, they need to. Right now, they are happy. They are okay.

They are here for each other. They are finally better for each other now.

"You guys won't ever leave me, right?"

"Wouldn't dream of it."

[kandicon]

Is nobody talking abt Nova Storm being a potential trans woman?? Like she not only takes Thundercracker's place but also has his sonic booms?? The show has gone over nonbinary people and gender conversations already, this is not out of the relm of possibility at all.

If nobody's gonna talk about it that just means I'm gonna talk EXTRA about it. Headcanon time.

Okay, so obviously Starscream was the one who did the surgery. He'd be all to happy to have unique colors w the removal of Thundercracker's blue and be the only boy in the group. The chance to stand out even more amongst his trine AND a free opportunity to stick his hands in some internals and do as he pleases?? HELL yes.

He was only a little upset that Nova Storm wanted to keep her sonic booms and he couldn't take that mechanism to stick into his own internals. Just a little.

Skywarp started doing makeup because Nova Storm took interest in it. Which of course meant Starscream also got into it too because he would not let his trine walk around with messy lipstick! Don't they know they're an extension of himself?! Their image is his image and they will look the best. Both Skywarp and Nova Storm have shaky hands from their outlier abilities. Good thing no-smudge paint can last without wear for months, no war or prison could ever get in the way of a perfect face of makeup.

Nova Storm realized she was a femme during the war, which is the main reason she got Starscream to do her transition and not a less biased, less unethical actual doctor. It had downfalls, but it was also one of the trine's closest times during the war. The three of them, all sitting around a room meticulously planning "Thundercracker's" death for months, because Nova Storm's a writer and no way she's gonna give up the chance to act out one her stories in real life. Skywarp is so proud of the fake tears she made at the news to this day (Starscream learned mascara just so Skywarp could wear some that day to get it all runny). Y'all will think that the Decepticons' most guarded secret has something to do with the war, or a Shockwave experiment, but no. The Decepticons' closest kept secret is Nova Storm's transition.

Everyone can kinda agree that it was probably the best for Nova's transition to be secret, "Thundercracker" was a very public figure as one of Starscream's trine. It would have been an easily available weakness for other Decepticons or Autobots to attack to hurt Starscream or Nova Storm. But the main reason was for the tragic death story potential and siblings scheming together.

Skywarp and Nova Storm definitely had their whole finishing each other's sentences before her transition, but they totally played it up even more afterwards.

Nova Storm got so happy and euphoric when people started to refer to her and Skywarp as sisters (usually with a negative "s" word before it. Ex. Scary, sinister, spooky, etc.). She still feels euphoric over it, but it's much more normal for her now and then she realizes she feels less about it because is so much more normal and common now and that makes her even happier. It's just a thing for her now!! It's a correct thing and it's natural and that's exactly how it's supposed to be.

[cordeliawhohung]

People are so fucking outrageous you take some time for yourself that you told us you were taking and now they're up in your asks demanding stuff tell them to pay you for it, sincerely someone who doesn't mind waiting for whatever you post

on god i literally spent the last few days driving hours on end and just got back yesterday, today is my first full day back home. and i've been traveling out of town for the outreach clinic i have to work at the next few weeks, and even then i've still been writing allskdjf

lmfao i don't want to shit on that anon too much, and i'm def not trying to be rude or anything, but i'm also going to hijack your ask real quick to address stuff since i do have quite a few new followers.

while some users might not mind questions regarding when someone is updating/if they have anything planned for an ongoing series, and things like that, i specifically have it in my rules to please not do that, which is why i got a little short with them even though they arguably weren't being rude or malicious (unlike a few anons in the past have when asking things like that). this one is especially annoying because it's been literally eight days since i last updated for that, and i have other series i've been working on! like even though i'm not posting for it, i've still written a couple thousand words for pet!au, and i just finished a chapter for in limbo i'll have up for early access here in a bit, and then on tumblr probably tomorrow or wednesday.

but mostly, the reason why i specifically request that people don't ask if i have plans/when i'm updating/if i'm updating something is because i literally have an irl life. i've been pretty open recently about how i've been traveling and the work i've been doing, it's not a secret or anything lmao. it just feels... tone deaf, you know? like you come into my inbox not talking about the work, or what you like about it, or otherwise engaging with it, but just to ask if i'm giving you more, like i didn't just do that a week ago. hell, even if it's been months or years that's still rude imo because if you like something enough, then you'd probably be doing more than just asking for more, ya know? at least that's how it comes across to me. and like i said before, some people really don't care, which is why i made sure to specify it in my rules, because i do care. it ruins my mood to write and create because then it feels like a chore and people are waiting on me just to consume it and then beg for more rather than tell me what they actually enjoyed about the work lmao.

anyway, no hard feelings against that anon at all, i'm sure they didn't mean anything by it, so please don't show them any hate or anything. but just use this as a reminder to read the rules of the blogs you interact with please. or at least don't be surprised when you do something that irks them and then they're annoyed at you because of it lmao.

sorry about the rant in the tags

[hecatesbroom]

Blanche's grandma's place is the only place she felt consistently loved in... no I'm fine. I'm fine