#i'll keep this updated but i don't reblog a lot of gif sets anyway

[queen-mihai]

I...

It happened again. Every few months someone reblogs this and..I mean I do have an update for all of you

My.. I'm not even sure how to start. There's a lot of good. A lot of weird. Like every few months my life looks nothing like it used to. But..I guess just, let me do the update

First a reminder that I legit only do these updates if it's been a few months and somebody reblogs this post randomly. I sometimes forget it even exists and then suddenly I'm hit with a reminder that some people actually do kinda give a crap how I'm doing. Or at least they're somewhat invested in my story just for fun

Fame...I.. look for some reason I still kinda don't feel it. Like, at Pride, I had to admit it because people asked for my autograph, and I became friends with a singer, and people kept stopping me to tell me how I inspired them. That was amazing, and never in a million years would I believe I was entitled to that kind of treatment.

I've definitely noticed that whenever I go out, if I'm able to tell people I'm coming, more people come out

But like at the same time.. it's not like any of these people are talking to me. That's the weird part of it for me. Like, a bar will be packed, unexpectedly busy following an announcement of my arrival, but still no one talks to me.

Furthermore, no one ever seems to have heard of me either, unless of course they happen to have been present at Pride. So...idk. am I famous? I guess if I'm asking, the answer is obvious, like when I was asking "am I a girl?"

Relationships. I mean..I have partners. Real, loving, lasting partners I've been with for, let's say a few updates now. But I'm still incredibly lonely because for the life of me I can't find someone to cuddle with who happens to live in the same town as me. Pride had like 2000 people present. I know I'm not the only queer person here. Don't worry, literally my partners understand.

Speaking of the local town, one disturbing thing I've run across, I'll have to say it kind of in code. I'll meet someone who is excited to hang out with me, but by the end of the night, I'll find out that they're involved in... things I can't be near.

They're... trying to find a temporary escape from reality if you will. I work as an engineer. When I see that lying on someone's table I turn around and walk out, I don't care how rude it is of me to do so.

Let's just say the appropriate people have been notified and I'm hoping they'll be very interested to help out.

I guess I'm temporarily glad I don't have a local partner if there's a risk of being anywhere near any of that anyway.

My book. Oh so I talked to a publisher about re-publishing in Norway (and using my real name). The price they gave me was 4 times what they had quoted before. I have not used that service, but I have a line on another that I intend to call asap

Events, I'm planning a festival in January but I haven't set up the meeting to dicuss it with all of the business people yet. I'll tell you how far I get on next update since I'm certain before January someone will have reblogged this again

Engineering: I came back off sick leave and.. some things are different. Some things are annoyingly the same. It's enough, barely.

But

I have to try to move into a new place because the landlord saw how much the rent has risen and wants to cash in "wants the house back to live in it"

Why does that go here? Because the houses for rent around me are expensive enough to eat up the raise I got this year and then some

Politics: I'm throwing my weight behind Kamala Harris, with a strong side-eye that she needs to recognize Palestine as a country AND stop giving a moron weapons to commit genocide.

It's not enough to say the words "two state solution"

The country. Is called. PALESTINE. SAY IT. And stop every shipment of weapons to that area. Reroute them to Ukraine if anything. Send food and aid to Palestine.

But yeah I'm still voting for her. I'm just going to keep putting my boot in her butt every time I get a chance.

Oh another thing about my book. Look I'm awful at selling things. I really am. I always feel guilty. It's not just sales for money, it's anything that makes me look too good. I get really self conscious and start reminding people that I can't juggle. But like, that said, I kinda really need and want people to start reading The Master's Quest

It's like.. kinda secretly making me sad that I'm this bad at selling that after nearly 4 years still no one knows what the book is even about

Yet another reason I don't feel particularly famous. I mean... if I was, people would know what my book was about and I wouldn't have a Fandom in the single digits

Not that I am entitled to more than that. Who am I even? Don't mind me.

Lastly how I'm doing

Well

I'm doing OK. Things are complicated right now, thus the more serious and sober update. Things are also extremely good. I've never felt so surrounded by love in my entire life. I just.. wish I had someone to share it with. I'm happy to have my job. I'm happy to have my book and the people who follow me and the people who love me. I'm happy to have "The Master's Quest: Meet Annabella", I'm happy to be throwing a festival, I'm happy to have had the dates I've had, I'm happy to keep making friends, and I'm waiting for some paperwork to come through and trying to be patient about that. But even with that, I'm happy to be in Norway and am looking forward to the future.

Oh!!! My transition! Holy mackerel I almost forgot

I... just live my life as a woman now. I still smile every time I see my face in the mirror. And... hmm..a polite way to say this..I also smile when I look a few inches below my chin. Those are coming in quite nicely and my best friend called me "she" the other day on the phone and I almost cried. He just... it was as if he'd known me as a girl forever.

I've started to be more out and actually tell people that I prefer she/her, and my bosses and most people that I meet are only happy to do so.

I'm a girl. Still very femme. Still very muscular. And I love everybody. Especially you. You reading this. I love you

You know the great thing about my Tumblr?

I'm invisible. Nobody sees me. I'm essentially talking to the void. This will get no notes.

Watch this:

I'm trans. I'm a girl and I'm SUPER bisexual. I like everybody. Girls are hot. Guys are hot. NBs are hot. Trans people are hot. I like to dress and act and be really super girly and I love flirting with people. It doesn't matter cuz this will get zero notes just like everything else I post on here.

Screw it. I'm not even done

This is me. A black trans bisexual.

I wrote an Ace/Aro person into my book. A trans person too. And one of the guys is gay. He literally has a big flirting scene with a guy in the book. It's pretty strongly suggested that they banged. As the author I can tell you; they did. It's the only sex scene even hinted at in the book and it's gay af.

Wanna know a secret? I think I've been in bed with a famous person. It's so crazy because I'm so terrible at famous people there's no way I'd have known who he was unless he straight up told me. But I did get the inkling he was somebody important by him talking about his soho apartment in New York. And the fact that he was staying in one of the nicest and most expensive hotels in Houston at the time.

And yes,bbtw. I was not aware of my being trans yet. And he was a man. This was a gay interaction. A very gay interaction. I'm bi. But you don't care cuz you're not even reading this.

Anyway yeah I love Tumblr. Nobody notices me

[kitsuvil]

[Reverence] — Scaramouche SMAU

v. — neither of us planned it ft. kunimouche ♡

[previous | masterlist | next]

[stream transcripts]

kunimouche: what do we event start with? what's your favorite ice breaker?

elynsian: honestly, i don't think i meet enough new people to have a favorite.

kunimouche: shit um, how about 21 questions then?

elynsian: works for me.

kunimouche: good, i'll start then, chat you should pay close attention, i think this will be pretty entertaining.

elynsian: what is that supposed to mean?

kunimouche: nothing, of course. anyway—have you ever had a crush on someone?

elynsian: why is that your first question? but to answer, no i haven't really had a crush. sure, i've seen some eye candy but no one to actually give me butterflies.

kunimouche: i see... what's your favorite childhood memory?

elynsian: oh, i know this. it has to be the one time i went on a vacation with my family, we had so much good food and saw beautiful places.

kunimouche: where did you go?

elynsian: haha, your 3rd question? i went to paris.

kunimouche: fuck, didn't know this game would trick me like that. you've got me wasting questions here. how about... what makes you laugh?

elynsian: this one is easy too, i can wholeheartedly say that people like cyno make me chuckle with every word that comes from their mouth. there's something about that sarcastic and uninterested type of humor.

kunimouche: i think that means it's time for me to look up unfunny jokes on google.

elynsian: haha, that's a whole fatality, i know you did not just say that.

kunimouche: and i know i did.

elynsian: anyways... go ask your next question.

[many kuni questions later]

kunimouche: here's my last one before it's your turn to interrogate me... do you ever think of me?

elynsian: what kind of question is that? i mean, yeah i can confidently say that i do think of you, especially with how often your attitude sets me off. i'm glad to know you though, even if you are hard to deal with.

kunimouche: i'm not sure if i should be satisfied or annoyed with that response...

elynsian: maybe both? by the way... after this, can we go on a phone call or something? try to sort out differences and just chat a little more? this isn't half bad.

kunimouche: what- huh? i mean- yeah, sure, we can call if you want, of course it's not that bad, it's me we're talking about. but uh- you should go ask your questions now—before the chat gets too impatient.

elynsian: you're right, we can talk about random stuff more after the finish the game. i think i'll start off with this, do you ever think of me?

summary; kunikuzushi only became a streamer to follow in his idol's footsteps. but now, he’s ahead of the person he idolized and they have no idea who they are or what they mean to him. due to his ego, instead of explaining the situation in natural ways, kuni has to show his affection with… different methods.

aka: the guide on how to romance your favorite streamer, y/n. 

please reblog, like, and comment! it helps a lot!

taglist; @blurr3db3rry @snakeenthusiast @lovely-scaramouchie @yukiipc @monochromaticelliot @griseoo @zannivrs @yukkitosposts @linn-a-a @beriiov @llghtsnoww @shizunxie @meowlumi @mafukissu @mariaaagoesblank @gimenaverde @lxry-chxn @cherrybeomgyu @saoiirsee @plinkuro @kunikuzushiit @almoundtofu @skimm0nzz @dee-zbignuts @frzenhans @dandelion-star @sashiette @ei-ei-ou @l-l-u-x-x @layla240 @moon-z0ne @thenightsflower @p1utto @mammon-s-ring @cloudxemoji @r0ttenhearts @bluebelony @purpl3bo1 @lleoll @angryhope @valeriele3 @nymphsdomain @qwnelisa @elysiasbae @n3r0-1417 @cookichuu @dazaisfavgf @kairxse @kalims @scaranaris-lil-niko

a/n; THIS CHAPTER WAS SO MUCH MORE FUN TO WRITE THAN I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE!! next chapter will be a sort of continuation to this!! updates might slow down now, i wanted to release the first 5 chapters daily and i might keep up with that as best as i can but i cannot make any promises! tysm for reading and i hope u all are taking care of yourselves ily