#i'll just shove other cosplays here as well

[idiotdriftinginspace]

Yay, I found Optimus!

I want her

[ihavethedreamies]

Standard Practice | Easy to Expert (3 v2)

Lee Yongbok (Felix) & Kim Seungmin - Stray Kids

Rating: M (18+) MDNI

Word Count: ~2.2k

Felix/AFAB!Reader/Seungmin

Genre: Reader-Insert, Smut, Fluff

!!This is smut…if that much isn't clear you should probably leave now!! MDNI!

Warnings: She/Her Pronouns used, Swearing, Kissing, Cosplay (Puppy Lingerie), Multiple Partners, Oral (F! Receiving), Threesome, Double Penetration, Anal Play, Sex Toys - Butt Plugs, Anal Sex, Cockbulge (Slight), Unprotected Sex (Bad Idea, Don't Do It)

Author's Note: I was supposed to just do a part two for Felix's Easy but now I have these as well…

-> Series Hub <-

-> Part 1 <-

-> Part 2 <-

-> Ver. I.N. <-

-> Ver. Hyunjin <-

-> Ver. Han <-

-> Ver. Lee Know <-

-> Ver. Changbin <-

-> Ver. Bang Chan <-

I am cross-posting this on Archive and Wattpad. Please reblog! If you know anyone that would like this or future fics but they aren't on here my name and icon are exactly the same on the other sites. Happy reading!

"She wants to what now?" Seungmin was glad he hadn't taken a sip yet, removing the straw from his mouth. He would have choked for sure, especially when Felix repeated himself.

"A threesome."

"With me?" Seungmin clarified and Felix shrugged nonchalantly. This was not something to shrug about. Felix was asking his friend to fuck his girlfriend. With him as well, but still.

"She personally requested…me?"

"Yes, why are you so shocked?" The slightly older guy snorted a laugh, shoving a fry in his mouth.

"It’s just…I figured she would want Chan or Minho-hyung…"

"She said you. This was about a month ago-"

"Why are you just now asking?"

"I wasn't about to let the third time I slept with my girlfriend be a threesome." Felix deadpanned and Seungmin tilted his head back and forth in agreement.

"Valid. When?"

"Tonight?"

"Tonight?!"

"Too soon?" Felix was so calm and flippant about it. That made Seungmin more confused than you wanting to fuck him too.

"N-no. I mean, we were going to her place to hang out anyway…"

"Exactly. Don't worry, I'll walk you through it."

"She knows I'm coming?" Seungmin stopped your boyfriend before he plugged in your keycode.

"Yes?" Felix chuckled. He had never seen his friend this nervous.

"Why are you freaking out so much?"

"Look, I have never done anything like this. Plus…its (Y/N). Your girlfriend."

"Min, it'll be fine." Felix finally inputted the code to your door.

You heard the door unlock from where you were in your room, and you scrambled to get ready. When your boyfriend told you the plan, you eagerly prepared. He hadn't, however, told you what was in the bag before you went to put it on. Your headband had floppy dog ears and they flapped against your head as you moved. The tail on the end of the plug pulled on it oddly, different than you were used to, as you moved about. You were in more or less a bikini that was made with faux fur that matched the ears and tail. You had leaned over to rest your elbows and chest on your vanity to get ready because you couldn't exactly sit. Making sure your make up was good, you wiggled your nose, the end painted black. The only other thing Felix made sure you did was apply bright red lipstick. It was in the bag as well, liquid in a tube that claimed to be waterproof and smear proof. You kissed a tissue to make sure it worked, and it sure did. Did Seungmin like it or something? You shrugged, adjusting the thigh-high sheer tights on your legs. Your nails were rounded and painted black, highlighting the ensemble well. Brushing your hands over your leg, you waited at the foot of the bed for the boys to come in.

"Oh, look at you, love." Felix cooed as he entered, and you wondered if there was a tail plug out there that could also wag. The final touch was the silk choker you had donned, a tag with your boyfriend's name on it dangled from the necklace. He slipped his finger under the metal to look at it better and grinned.

"(Y/N)." Seungmin nearly gasped seeing you, dressed up like a puppy. His cock already was starting to harden, but the icing on the cake was your bright red lipstick. Felix really did know him too well. You skipped over to him and smiled up at him, adopting the puppy eyes perfectly.

"Can I help?" You reached up to the collar of his shirt and he nodded, still gaping at you. He really was so freaking cute to you, and luckily, he felt the same way about you. You led him through the motions of taking his sweater off, then you undid the button down, letting both garments fall to the floor. You had never seen Seungmin without a shirt before, not even caught a glimpse of his shirt riding up. He was in a white undershirt still and he seemed shy to remove it, but let you help him anyway. His nerves dissipated when you explored his bare skin with your hands. They were soft and warm, and he couldn't wait to feel them on his cock. Through instinct he leaned forward toward your face, but you backed away quickly.

"Rules!" You pointed at him, like you were scolding a puppy.

"No kissing, not on her lips!" Felix came up behind you, already without his shirt and he swung his arm over your shoulder.

"You must listen to him!" You held two fingers up. You then added a third.

"Her ass is mine." Felix emphasized, playing with the tail of your plug. You squeaked when he tugged on it lightly, the noise going straight to Seungmin’s cock.

"Four!" The man continued, letting you finish.

"No cumming down my throat." You tossed Felix a playfully rebellious look.

"Why?" Seungmin scoffed a bit, not understanding why that specifically had to be stated.

"I like it too much…" you mumbled and Felix snorted.

"So, only I can." Felix let you go, and you held out all five fingers.

"Finally, you don't have to wear a condom, but you can't cum inside." You finished and the other man balked a bit.

"You on the pill or something?"

"Yes…but I like it a lot so once again…"

"Only I can." Felix finished and he came over with two bottles in one hand and a third in the other. You looked over the options and pointed to the purple one. The new set of lubes he got were cooling, almost like menthol. You were not sure what that would feel like, but the purple was grape scented. Going back to Seungmin, you started to undo his belt and his hands stilled yours.

"Let me do it, puppy." He kissed your forehead and your cheeks warmed. Felix said none on the lips, so he didn't. You stepped back and he let his jeans fall and you watched enthralled as he removed his boxers too.

"Can she sit on my face?" Seungmin asked, not breaking eye contact with you. You and Felix were a bit surprised at his boldness, but Felix smirked.

"Sure." You glanced at him, and he nodded in reassurance and Seungmin eagerly went to your bed and laid down. You scampered over as well and climbed onto the bed. The tail would be in the way otherwise, so you hesitantly straddled his face, facing the wall. The tail plug ticked his chest, and he reached up to undo the ties of your furry panties, then chucked them to the side. He hadn't considered the tail plug, so it tugged a bit when he removed the garment. Another squeak left your lips and you saw his cock bounce slightly through the fabric of his underwear. As he wrapped his arms around your legs to get ready, he noticed Felix looking at his phone, then he heard a buzzing noise. You yelped, the toy inside flaring to life, you did NOT know it did that.

"Felix~" You tried to scold, but the sensation was too nice.

"Come here, puppy." Seungmin encouraged and pulled you onto his face, his tongue swiping through your slick folds before it wiggled inside your cunt. He could feel the vibrations of the toy, and his hand came around to press on it. You keened at the feeling and Felix watched closely as you rode his friend's face. You were mewling, but he didn't see your characteristic shiver that he always caused you to have. Seungmin wanted you to fall apart on his tongue, but you and your boyfriend knew he probably wouldn't succeed. He just wasn't Felix.

"Okay, love." Felix prompted and you wiggled in Seungmin's grasp. He placed another suck to your clit, then let you go. He wiped your wet off his face and moved to get off the bed when Felix motioned him to. Your boyfriend took his place and you turned to face away from him. Felix rested his back against the headboard and Seungmin moved to kneel in front of you. Without your help or asking, he quickly undid the clasp of your bra and tossed it away as well. He loved the ears on you, and the head band didn't seem to be bothering you, so he left it on. Felix was a little shit though, telling you to put red lipstick on but not letting his friend kiss you. Seungmin came forward and started to kiss over your neck and jaw. He might not be able to kiss you fully, but he was going to take advantage of your bare skin. You whimpered as he licked over your collarbone. Felix allowed it, he was following the rules.

"One, two-" Felix then slowly pulled the tail plug from you and you shivered, it too getting discarded somewhere across the room. Your boyfriend grabbed the purple tube from the nightstand and messily drizzled some on the head of his cock. The cooling sensation was odd, and he couldn't tell if he liked it or not. Without even bothering to smear it over him completely first, he pulled you down to him. Seungmin's hands went to your waist above Felix's on your hips and helped push you down. You shivered and moaned as his cock found its rightful place in your ass, the cooling burn of the lube made you quake as if spread through your insides. After you had sunk down completely you exhaled, resting back against him, letting out a few twitches. Seungmin couldn't believe how hot it was to see his friend balls deep in you, your still empty cunt on display. Felix draped your legs over his, spreading them open wide for Seungmin. The look in the slightly younger man's eyes was surprising, you had never seen him look that intense.

"You want Min to fill your little cunt?" Felix's deep voice rumbled in your ear, and you nodded eagerly.

"Ask him, then."

"Please, Min." You squeaked when Felix moved you a bit so he could get more comfortable.

"Okay, puppy." Seungmin crawled forward, having to kneel between both yours and Felix's legs to be in the right spot. The head of his cock brushed through your folds, and he groaned at the wet heat, more intense without the barrier of a condom.

"Ahh~" You almost wailed as he started to sink in. Seungmin and Felix both groaned as your already tight holes got even tighter with both of them in you. Your boyfriend waited till his friend was as deep as possible, then he pressed his cheek to the side of your head.

"Look, here, love." His hand rested above your belly button and Seungmin's eyes too went to your stomach. The outline of a faint bulge was visible, your little body struggling to hold both cocks. Seungmin huffed at the sight, and you tried not to clench harder.

"She is so fucking cute." Seungmin muttered and Felix smirked in agreement.

"Start Seungmin." Felix nodded and he held you as the other man pulled out about halfway before sinking slowly back in. Your breath got heavier, your head resting back on Felix's shoulder.

"Rougher." Your boyfriend prompted and the other sent him a look.

"Yeah?" Getting a nod in response, he did. You gasped as he started to fuck you in earnest, Felix simply cockwarming in your ass.

"Want me to move, love?" Felix nibbled at your ear, and you were having trouble thinking with the pace Seungmin was setting. Both Felix and you were shocked by how aggressive Seungmin was being, fucking you fast. When you whined at Felix’s request, your boyfriend motioned for Seungmin to slow down. You readjusted, sitting up a bit more and you leaned forward into Seungmin more, hands on his biceps. Your boyfriend shifted behind you, and you squeaked when they both thrusted hard at the same time. You shivered and as they each took shallow, synchronized thrusts, making you let out tiny whimpers.

"You like being that full, huh?" Seungmin whispered in your ear, and you nodded, head resting on his collar bone. He was already getting close. Your cunt was like a vice and just the fact that he was fucking you was leading him over the edge. Felix noticed his brow furrow and knew his friend was close.

"Cum on her stomach." He told the slightly younger man and Seungmin reluctantly pulled out and pumped his hand over his slick cock. Felix pulled you back to him, pumping his hips slightly, grinding you on him. You let out a high-pitched moan as Seungmin grunted, coating your chest on tummy with cum. He sat back, catching his breath and he looked to where Felix was inside you still. Your boyfriend had buried his head in the crook of your neck as he came, the sticky substance spurting out of you slightly. Seungmin watched enthralled as your quivering hole clenched as you came as well. You slumped back onto Felix when your orgasm died, and he chuckled.

"That good, love?" Felix removed the headband and let it drop to the bed, smoothing your hair. You mewled in a positive tone.

"You always get her this fucked out?" Seungmin asked.

"Standard practice at this point."

-> Series Hub <-

Master-Master List

Stray Kids Master List

[koorinokujira]

Yakuza 0 is a SPECTACULAR game and I'll shove my love for it in everyone's faces now

Alright, I'll take a bit of a break from regularly scheduled Basara-posting (don't worry, the next batch of imagines is getting worked on), because boy, am I full of emotions right now. This will most likely turn into a mini-series of posts, I don't know yet.

TLDR: Background of me getting into it all and me gushing about my appreciation for the game since I finally finished it. Some (at least vague) spoilers will definitely be involved, so if you haven't played the game yet, here's your warning! Also, I ramble a lot, sorry.

So, I am still fairly new to the Yakuza fandom, all things considered. While I first discovered the Yakuza/Like a Dragon series a few years ago (through a Majima meme, lol), I wasn't that into it at the start. I had other hyperfixations at the time, and it was just sort of at the background. I watched some gameplays, saw some memes, and after watching a full playthrough of Yakuza Kiwami (and a bit of Y0), I eventually decided to get Y0 and play it myself. Bought it and played for a few chapters, but then it got buried again beneath other games, even if I liked it a lot. But this year, it all just came back to me, and I decided to throw myself into it fully this time, restarting my Y0 playthrough (and engaging with the fandom a bit more).

And I'm incredibly glad I did.

At the time of writing this, I finished the game like 30 minutes ago, give or take, and I feel like I'm feeling everything right now. There aren't many games that hit me so hard. Every single second of this game just kept my eyes glued to the screen, and even when I was not playing, the feelings from the story lingered.

You know, I've been sort of living through other people's experiences with the series lately, especially here on Tumblr. Even if I don't know half of the characters everyone talks about yet, I still appreciate the funky stuff everyone here creates. I love the ridiculous memes, the sweet Minedai and Kazumaji fanarts, the kick-ass cosplays, and all the other stuff! You guys made me love it even more and keep going, so I could enjoy it even more! But I have to say, experiencing at least Yakuza 0 for myself hits so much harder than just watching a gameplay.

I got to play as a buff, scary looking man that races toy cars with kids as if his life depends on it, and constantly gets tangled up in ridiculous situations and helps people around town, all the while he's putting his life on the line to protect those he loves the most. I got to hire a chicken as a real estate manager, enjoy some karaoke with my best pal Nishiki, and save some poor ladies from terrible guys who harassed them on the street. And there was also so, so many heart-wrenching things that made me stop what I was doing, because I just hated to see Kiryu's kind, gentle heart get torn apart by the world he willingly stepped into.

I also got to play as a man that went through hell and clinged onto life through sheer determination. A man that was lost, but slowly found what was important to him through the course of the story. But even with him, I got to experience a ton of hilarious weirdness, which may or may not include things like pretending to be a desperate girl's boyfriend, beating up a cult leader or accidentally raising the taxes for all of Japan. Majima, I love you too, you crazy bastard!

All the characters are written so well, and felt very real to me the whole time. Nothing was really black and white, and even the simpler looking characters ended up being very complex most of the time. Honestly, I could ramble on and on about how it broke me to see Tachibana cry, or how much I adore Kashiwagi, even with the limited screentime. I will probably make a few more in-depth posts about certain characters and how I view their themes in the future.

But all this is to say, I'm glad that I finally took the plunge, and I am looking forward to what I have yet to experience! I even have a few OCs that I may share in the future (if I finally learn how to draw properly, that is), and maybe some fanfics, too!

After I finally 100% Ghost of Tsushima, I am definitely buying Kiwami, too! Glad to finally count myself a "proper" member of the RGG fandom ＼(￣▽￣)／

Thank you for reading my excited ramblings, and as I always say...

Have an amazing day!

[chinchillamajor]

Hey, all. It's the Actually Older Simon cosplayer, here in the # simon petrikov mpreg tag again, with a question, this time.

See, I've been really enjoying my time seeing all the comics and drawings folks have been making, especially the ones with their own continuity. Absolutely gorgeous stuff.

And yet, I'd be lying if I claimed that browsing this part of the F&C fandom hasn't been. Bittersweet. In a way that's been really hard to describe.

But I'm wondering if anyone might be willing to draw a commission I have in mind.

Details under the cut, but heed the content warning before the jump: tw for pregnancy complications and miscarriage talk.

Let's have a little storytime, first.

I'll start off by admitting, I didn't even know I could do that.

My body is, and always has been, a wonderland of medical maladies. And as a trans man from the 2000s until people settled on the word "nonbinary" for folks like me, I'd been taking regular birth control shots that disappeared my period for decades now. I have a very scattered memory, but I always made and kept my shot appointments on time.

Until that one time I didn't.

It was an offhand comment from a friend that got me thinking. "I've been craving frosted animal cookies like whoa lately," I'd said, and she replied, "Maybe you're pregnant."

We both paused. Then cackled to each other for a moment, at the very thought.

And then I remembered how nauseated I'd been getting out of nowhere, lately.

I *did* remember to get my Depo shot last time, didn't I? I must've.

Nope, said the two bars on the test stick, later that night. You didn't.

My head was spinning. I gagged and coughed around the idea; it was too big for me to swallow. I was over 40, for crying out loud. How could it be that I'd get pregnant for the first time, NOW?

I waited to see my doctor. Waited a *while.* Because I honestly didn't know what to do. Previous versions of me would've been mortified, and hustled off to get an abortion immediately.

And yet. And *yet.*

The more I thought of this unlikely kiddo, the more I started wanting to fight for it. If it wanted to be a human THAT BADLY as to hole up in *my* body... shouldn't I give it a little credit?

I told basically nobody, the whole time.

And then, one day, there I was, sitting in my doctor's office, and she was telling me my body was already starting to lose it.

Well. If the kiddo changed their mind about wanting to stay, I thought, I'm not going to hold that against them.

I remember laughing. Covering my face with my hands, and breathing in. Like I'd just been shown the camera filming some wretched prank happening.

I'd just nicknamed it the day before, I told her. My little dandelion. And now...

I won't go into the process itself, in the days that followed. Some things, words just can't describe very well. (I will say, the auto-generated targeted ads that started showing me baby supplies, a few months later? THAT. Was just RUDE.)

Time passed, as it does. I hit my head, that January. Got brain damage. Slowly got better. Slowly.

When it was over, I shoved the whole experience aside. Went to my mortician classes. Never brought it up, because that would mean I'd have to think about it.

Everything's fine, I'd say, if folks said I seemed a bit off. Like Simon said at the bar. Same old, same old.

Just last month, I found a new favorite show. All my friends were talking about how one of the characters happened to look eerily like me.

I'd never seen Adventure Time in my life, before Fionna & Cake, but it made me so happy to cosplay older Simon. I was trying to learn a lot of the same lessons he was, after all.

And then, I started seeing my fictional doppelganger in some fanart where he was heavily pregnant.

My mouth hung open for a while, stunned by the hit of pure joy juice that'd just erupted in my brain.

*Simon* got to know what that felt like.

I hit Follow on the tag, and never looked back.

And after taking the time to sit and feel The Hard Feelings, I'm honestly feeling more okay with everything now. Even if it's mostly because I know there's a version of this fictional character I resemble who got to experience what I didn't. The ups, the downs. Everything in between.

I finally opened up to my therapist about it all, this week. She'd known about the miscarriage, but was glad I was ready to talk about it, almost a year later.

I'm so many flavors of grateful to get to see it. Even from a distance.

---

So. That's my take on Simon mpreg.

And I have a commission I'd like to place, at some point.

A very pregnant Simon, getting a visit from a Simon from another dimension, where his kiddo changed their mind.

This other Simon’s not glad it happened, but he's not sad, either. He just wants to give the expecting Simon a big hug, wish him the best of luck, and to tell him to treasure every moment he has with his kiddo.

That he should always know, somewhere, someone's rooting for him. For both of them.

And then the non-pregnant Simon’s back in the Time Cube, thanking Prismo for granting his wish.

You gonna be okay? Prismo asks.

Yeah, Simon says, looking up at the stars and smiling. I think we're both gonna be all right.

If there are any in-fandom artists who feel up to this? Feel free to message me about it. I'll be asking about your rates.

And if you read all that, just... thanks. For listening. I really do appreciate it.

[lonely-lost-soul]

A Pirate's Life for Me

Cover Art Done By: @fridaydev-draws and @friday-dsv (Dreamsmp x reader) Pirate Au! Love Interests: C!Wilbur, C!Techno, C!Dream, C!Sapnap, C!Quackity, and C!Schlatt

~~~

Salt burned your lungs as you tossed open your window with a loud bang, the seagulls perching on your flower boxes screeched in protest and flew from your window. “Fucking sky rats get the fuck out of here you heathens!” You snarled out the window shaking your fist at the bothersome birds, the sounds of the ocean crashing on the shore filled your ears as well as the chatter of the dock workers. You let the breeze blow back your hair and you heard someone calling your name from down below.

“Good morning (Y/n)!” You glanced below you and grinned,

“Morning Eret!” They waved back enthusiastically their dress spilling around their ankles, a basket of fruit was balanced on his hip. “Opening early today? I'm sure your patrons would be happy to start their drunken stupor early,” She held a hand to his mouth snickering and you shot them a look.

“If that gets more money in my pocket then so be it, I won't complain too much.” You shrugged, “Will I still see you later tonight?”

“Always do dove, how can I resist a drink from my favorite bartender.”

“You can’t it’s my charm.”

“Will the both of you shut the fuck up!” Another man’s voice growled from another open window, “It’s too early for your bullshit.” You saw Eret click his tongue but smiled up at you despite the man's protests,

“I’m heading to the market anyway. These fruits won’t sell themselves, I'll see you later.”

“See you soon!” You closed your windows once more, but not before urging your daisies to grow one last time. You tossed open the curtains allowing light to spill into your cozy home, a small carpet was in the middle of your room. It was a deep red and the pattern was made of gold yarn, aside from that everything in your residency was made of dark wood. Your shelves were littered with books and empty cups, and your old worn journal sat open on your desk. It was filled with childhood memories and you continued to write in it to this day, it was easier then, things were simple and everything was innocent and new to you. Now your days were filled with sea fairing idiots who liked to drink themselves stupid, but you could handle yourself, you always kept your father's dagger on your thigh at all times. Those who were frequent customers knew not to mess with you and those who were new learned their lesson within the first ten minutes of meeting you. You inherited the bar from your father, a kindhearted man who died a few years before today, leaving you with the bar and the dagger you had on your hip. You fished through your closet pulling out your clothes for the day, your dress was a gorgeous light coffee color and came down to your ankles. The bottom was flared and had dark brown panels on the sides, it faded inward to a light green then back to the coffee color. The corset around your waist was a dark brown with light green trim, you tied it tight with a small huff making sure your waist was sinched perfectly. The sleeves came down to your elbows allowing you to move your arms freely while making drinks. The top of the dress ended just below your collarbone, you strapped your dagger to your thigh before lacing up your knee-high black boots.

You thought back to your tavern downstairs, you were fortunate enough that you weren’t running this entire operation yourself. You ended up hiring help and they were like family and you knew they saw you as such as well. Most of the girls didn’t have a family of their own so you gave them room and board, also money, of course, you weren’t a terrible boss! You opened the door to your room, you watched Cecil, the tavern’s mascot trot out of Juniper’s room. The border collie liked to switch up which rooms he stayed in protecting every one of your girls when you couldn’t be there for them.

The first of your girls was Adelaide or Addie, she was one of the first to fall under your care. She was around your age, a motherly type, sheep hybrid, who cared for the girls, and always gave the drunk patrons with mommy issues a shoulder to cry on. Her long brown hair always hung down her back, she typically worked tables, served food and drinks, and always got a generous tip from patrons.

The next girl was Judas, a squid-enderman hybrid who was taller than you could ever wish to be, although intimidating you couldn’t meet a kinder woman. A jack of all trades the woman helped out wherever she could, black-ish purple hair curled around her shoulders and some people came specifically to hear her sing. Her voice was like rich velvet and lured men and women in like a siren.

Juniper was after Judas, a demon hybrid who was naive but you’d be a fool to underestimate her. She worked beside you at the bar, she can make some mean fruity drinks, Eret always preferred her drinks over yours. Freckles adorned her face and shoulders, her light brown hair curled down to her middle back, purple horns sprouted from the top of her head. You wanted to adorn it with gold jewelry and you were saving up to gift some to her.

Yeti was a human woman like yourself, she didn’t bother with those who were rude or obnoxious. She kept to herself only really talking when she was spoken to or when there was an opportunity to crack a rare joke. She typically stayed on the sidelines, out of the scenes and Yeti liked to help Judas decorate her sets.

Zig was a kind young adult, they got along with everyone who came inside the tavern. Soft emerald eyes drew people in, and they tried to make sure tensions within the bar didn’t rise and start a fight. There would always be one or two that’s just natural, but one look at Zig and his magic words and they seemed to disperse, not wanting to hurt the kid’s feelings.

Vendetta was the tallest member of the group you had taken in, she was stunningly beautiful and didn't take shit from anybody. She was a guard dog if you will, making sure no one fucked with any of the girls in your tavern. While Zig did their best to keep people under control sometimes they couldn’t win. That’s when Ven would step in and ‘kindly’ escort them off the premises with or without force.

The youngest member here was Luvena. She was a moo-bloom hybrid with soft brown hair that sprouted flowers, her cow ears would twitch when she was excited and followed Addie around like she was her daughter. Addie took her under her wing and was training her to be a perfect little waitress, absolutely warming customers’ hearts. Luvena also loved to give out flowers, she was a fan favorite bringing new life into the tavern.

Cecil barked seeing his mama and scampered over to you, you poured food into his bowl as Juniper wandered into the hallway. Her head rested on the doorframe as she gave you a tried wave, “Morning (Y/n).”

“Morning Juni, We’re opening a little early today. Take your time I’m not expecting a big rush of bar patrons this early.” You assured her and she gave a sleepy nod,

“I’ll be down as soon as Ven’s out of the shower.” She yawned, “This beauty doesn’t come naturally.”

“Hardly darling you’re gorgeous just the way you are.” You reassured with a wink, Juniper flushed a little, happily laughing beside you.

“Just go wake the others will you, you flirt!”

Tossing your head back you gave a happy laugh heading down the hallway to make sure everyone was awake and ready to go for later. Addie and Luvena shared a room so she was in charge of waking up the youngest member of the tavern. Judas was already awake making breakfast for everyone when you headed downstairs, Zig was sitting on the counter beside her, they were the designated taste tester.

“Good morning Miss (Y/n)!” Zig chirped, the young adult hummed fondly, “Sleep okay?”

“Absolutely. What about you both? Thank you for making breakfast Judas.” You hummed fondly and Judas had a shy smile on her face.

“I slept well thank you.” Judas hummed softly, “Also it’s my pleasure. Want to make sure everyone’s healthy and alright.” She let out a little squeak as you wrapped your arms around her body, you barely came up to her chest,

“Judas please marry me,” You complained, “Your breakfast is always heavenly and you care for everyone. Please be my wife.”

“(Y/n)! Please.” She sputtered face turning a dark purple, Zig made a noise of protest and held his hand in the air.

“If she won’t marry you I will!”

“Zig! I’d be honored!”

Their entire face lit up with excitement and they hopped off the table to hug you tightly, you hugged them back and pressed a fond kiss to the top of their head. “I got to open up the tavern, you mind setting the table for me Zig?”

“Sure Miss!”

You sent Judas a kiss in the air which her face burned at, quickly going back to her cooking. You smiled eagerly and unlocked the door to the tavern, you shoved a bucket in front of the door to keep it open. The salty ocean air wafted through your nostrils and your eyes sparkled wondrously.

Today is going to be a good day.

Almost immediately a particular bastard caught your eye,

“You’re here early.” You mused raising an eyebrow,

“Heard you were opening early today sweetcheeks,” His voice was a low baritone, rough from years of smoking and drinking. Horns curled around his fluffy ears that stood out against his gruff exterior, he was a ram hybrid at its finest. “Figured I’d take the opportunity to get a special drink from my special girl,” He mused looking you up and down drinking in your figure. You scoffed at the retired man, he dressed like he was cosplaying captain jack sparrow, the gun’s in his belt just added to his costume and so did his large ruffled shirt, he was never one to forget his gold jewelry.

“Where’s Quackity?” You ignored him sitting him at his usual table, he frowned but you knew he was taking it as an opportunity to stare at your ass. He slid into the stool and put his feet up on the table, his boots were muddy but you could only control him so much. He was too much of a regular to get scared off by your threats and scolding.

“He’ll be in at his normal time. He’s not much of a day drinker, although can’t say I’m complaining. Having all your attention on me and all, considering I’m the only one in here. That being said, I’ll have my usual sweetcheeks.”

“Stop calling me that,” You scolded with a certain fondness that was reserved for the man. “You’re lucky you’re my favorite regular Schlatt,” you gave his ears a fond pinch and he bleated. He sent you a scalding look as you walked away, although the look soon fell as he got a good look at your ass once again.

“I’m your only regular sugar tits!”

“Schlatt feet off the table.” Addie criticized whacking his boots with a rolled-up menu, he rolled his eyes but dropped his feet to the floor. “You should know this by now, we go through this every day.”

“Yeah, yeah little lamb I’m on it. Judas here?”

“She’s always here,” She huffed spreading the menu down on the table. “Do you want your usual or something different? Should I get Quackity’s drink ready too?”

“Nah just stick with mine, for now, tell Judas I’d like to see her.”

Addie clicked her tongue and placed her hand on her hip, “fine. But if you’re just going to grossly flirt with her as you do with (y/n), then keep it to yourself.”

“You’re not the boss of me. Just because you look like an old hag-” The way she glared at him sent a chill down his spine, “shit babe take a joke will you.”

Eventually, people began to file into the tavern, as the morning faded into the afternoon and then into the evening. The tavern was bustling with life, Judas’s elegant voice traveled through the crowds and her voices seemed to float above the voices. Quackity joined Schlatt by his side seemingly irritated by a conversation they were having, Schlatt was about five drinks in at this point, which was much less than his usual, and Quackity on his second.

“What are they talking about?” Luvena asked swinging her legs as she sat on the bar beside you. Her moobloom ears twitching every so often as she tried to eavesdrop on their conversation,

“Vena it’s impolite to eavesdrop.” You scolded bopping her on the head lightly, she whined and rubbed the top of her head.

“I wasn’t!” She argued as you rolled your eyes, you looked over at the two men to find Quackity looking over at you. His hand was raised in the air, one finger was up summoning you to get him another drink.

“I’ll be back, why don’t you talk to Ven while I’m gone. She’ll keep an eye on you.”

“I don’t need a babysitter!”

“Good thing she doesn’t want to babysit your ass either, now shoo.” You motioned her to hop off the bar and she did so with a long, dramatic sigh. You looked over at Ven who gave you a silent nod, letting you know she’d watch out for the youngest member of your band of misfits. Meanwhile, you grabbed Quackity another drink and walked over to the two men at the table, “Someone order a drink?”

“Aye! Mamacita! Fancy seeing you here.” Quackity purred a bright smile spreading across his face seeing that you were the one to deliver his drink,

“Hey Big Q,” You greeted placing the drink in front of him, “You doing okay?”

“Better now that an angel walked into my sight,” He flirted and you rolled your eyes. “What? It’s true! You always brighten my day you know? Ow!” Schlatt hit his ex-first mate over the head,

“Take a breath lover boy. Thanks for the drink sugar tits.”

“You’re welcome, what were the both of you talking about if I may ask.” You hummed grabbing some of Schlatt’s empty glasses, an uncharacteristic frown came over both their faces. “Oh? Touchy subject?”

“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart. Just dishing out some old problems, most of which are better left unsaid.” He aimed that statement at Quackity, his jaw seemed clenched and Quackity’s brow furrowed in annoyance.

“Well I just want to remind the both of you,” You passed the tray of empty glasses over to Addie as she walked by, she took them swiftly. You grabbed the side of both their heads and pressed them against your chest, not that you knew but both men’s flushed to the tips of their ears. “No physical fights are allowed in this tavern. If one starts I won’t hesitate to kick your fucking asses. Got it?” They looked over your chest and locked eyes with one another, after years on the sea they could read one another’s facial expressions rather easily and at that moment they shared the same thought,

‘They should fight more often.’

“I said, got it?”

“Yes ma’am,” The repeated simultaneously as you pulled away,

“That’s what I like to hear-”

“(Y/n)!” Vendetta’s velvety voice called out from behind you, you turned and saw a group of newcomers file into your bar. Your body tensed momentarily,

Pirates.

Schlatt turned his head to follow your gaze and he tensed from behind you, “fuck me.” He growled and Quackity raised an eyebrow at his captain, he turned to look over his shoulder and his face lit up.

“Sapnap!”

The pirate who had a white bandana tied around his forehead glanced over at him and a smile lit up across his features. “Quackity? Is that you?”

“My man!” He stood up from his chair heading over to wrap the man in a hug, “I haven’t seen you in years, man.” You zoned out of their conversation eyes locking with a few of the other pirates who walked into the tavern. Vendetta and Addie both greeted them, but everyone who was under your care knew to keep their guard up around pirates. From what you could gather there seemed to be two crews, a crew of what only seemed to be two, Sapnap was included. The fire demon was still talking with Quackity, while the other man took in the view of the tavern, he had shaggy blonde hair, and had a few scars across his face. A porcelain mask sat on top of his head, a forest green cloak was around his shoulders, his hood was lowered around his neck. A sword was strapped tight against his hip and there was another dagger that seemed to be tucked against his side. His eyes gazed towards you and he winked teasingly with a coy smile, you scoffed looking over at Addie.

“Seat those two gentlemen yeah? Be careful, I’ll tell Ven and Yeti to keep an eye.” Addie looked at you, concern written on her soft features but she nodded. While Addie departed, you noticed Ven talking with the other group. Luvena was hiding behind Vendetta’s long legs, although a tall blonde boy seemed very keen on talking to her. You smoothed out your dress and moved towards the group of three, you eyed them up casually. The blonde looked to be around Luvena’s age, he had a shit-eating grin on his face and his uniform matched that of the second tallest in the group. The second tallest was clad in a light blue jacket with large golden buttons on the red collar. He had a cream-frilled shirt underneath and a black belt holding up his brown slacks, those were tucked into black boots. On his back seemed to be a guitar and was the only one of them not holding a weapon, but you knew better than to assume with pirates. His curly brown hair seemed to bounce every time he talked, he seemed to be the ringleader but there was no doubt that the real ringleader was the hybrid standing beside him. He was taller, on par with Vendetta in height, he had long pink hair that was tied in a ponytail on top of his head. A few pieces framed his face elegantly, there was no doubt he was the captain of the little crew that was in your tavern. He had a white shirt on with a deep low cut ‘V’ it showed off a good portion of his scared chest, around his shoulders sat a deep red jacket but his arms were outside of it and crossed over his chest. He seemed content on letting his second in command do all the talking, his red eyes were the only ones to meet yours. His head tilted upwards and before Vendetta could stop him he walked over towards you,

“You own the tavern?” His voice was a low monotone and it sent an array of pleasant chills up your spine.

“I do,” You raised an eyebrow crossing your arms over your chest, “Names (Y/n). You are?”

“Captain Technoblade of the ship Odyssey, I was hoping you had a few rooms and a table available. My brothers and I are pretty exhausted, we’ve been sailing all night.”

Brothers, they certainly didn’t all look alike, but then again you certainly had a mix of girls in your care. Your tongue swiped against the top row of your teeth, “Why don’t you and your brothers take a seat at the bar for now. Juniper will be happy to serve you, I’ll see if we have some free rooms available.”

“Thank you, once you return I’ll introduce them to you if you’d like,” Technoblade bowed his head before turning back to get his brother’s attention.

“I’d like that thank you.” You gave a nod motioning for Vendetta to follow you as you slid behind the bar with Juniper, Judas had also taken a spot sitting on the bar. You figured you’d let her know as well, considering she was another adult figure in the group. You knew either Juniper or Judas would fill in Addie considering the three were close. “Ven, can they be trusted?”

“Not too sure about the masked man, the one Quackity seems to be familiar with seems decent enough. He’s a fire demon though, could smell him from miles away, we all just need to be cautious.”

“Agreed,” Juniper added tapping her finger on her chin. “We should just try to curb all fighting if at all possible, what did the captain of the other group ask you?”

“They want a room, I’m about to check to see if we have availability. Thoughts on that?”

Judas let out a low hum her eyes followed both sets of pirate groups around the tavern, “I say if we have availability let them stay. They seem harmless so long as we don’t mess with them, which we’d never do.”

“Plus I can always stay awake to keep an eye on them.” Vendetta tapped her nails against the table,

“You sure.”

“As if I’d let anything happen to any of you, you’re my family.”

You all smiled softly, and you noticed Judas’s eyes widen, “Zig! Get that out of your mouth this instant!” She shot up from her spot and over to the person in question. The three of you laughed fondly at the nonsense, meanwhile, Juniper saw the three brothers sit at her bar. She moved away from you to greet them, you immediately could tell she was taken with the second eldest brother.

He seemed to be an absolute lady killer.

Vendetta ruffled your hair before going back to stand at her place by the door to keep the peace. You headed up the stairs to the rafters to check on the extra rooms you had, “Excuse me?” You tensed visibly turning around to face the man in all green. His eyes were mesmerizing, a fierce jade green to contrast his cloak, “Do you happen to have two rooms available?” The man held up two fingers to clarify his request,

“Do you usually start introductions with a blatant request like that?”

He chuckled a smile spreading across his lips, “I’m Dream and you gorgeous?”

“(Y/n), it’s your lucky day I’m about to check and see if any are available. My tavern is a hot commodity tonight.”

“Well, I can see why,” he spoke and you raised an eyebrow and tilted your head to the side.

“Oh?”

“It has the hottest owner around. Word spreads fast.”

You couldn’t believe this man was making your cheeks burn, he chuckled softly taking a step towards your figure. “Oh really, word spreads that fast on the open sea, Captian?” It was his turn to turn light pink, but he covered it up quickly with a chuckle.

“Touché.”

“I’ll get on that room for you and your friend. Take a seat, for now, this part is for guests and staff only you know?”

“So I have you all to myself?” He cheekily mused, he stepped towards you and before you knew it you were pinned against a wall. His hand suddenly brushed against your cheek, it was cold in comparison to your warm cheek. You felt Dream’s thumb brush against your cheek slowly, “You know...being on the open sea alone does something to a person.”

“Oh, I’m sure.” You mused pushing your forehead back against Dream’s, “All alone with only your crew with you.” Taking his other hand within your own you slid it up to your hip, you saw his entire face turn red as he stared down at your chest. “You’re probably missing a little love in your life, aren’t you Dreamy?” He nodded dumbly, his eyes still not leaving your chest,

Perfect. You weren’t going to let some pirate boy get the better of you.

He let out a grunt of pain as you spun him around and pressed his head into the wall with your elbow, your other hand has his pinned behind his back. “This hallway is for staff and guests only,” You purred in his ear before letting him go and swinging your hips before heading up the stairs fully. From behind you, Dream’s face was a deep, dark red and he had to clear his throat. Dream wasn’t going to let you go after that, I mean look at you, tough and able to hold your own, it awakened something inside him.

After checking up on the rooms you headed back down into the main hall, three-room keys in your hand. Glancing over at the scene in front of you, you saw Juniper dancing in the middle of the tavern the flirtatious brother at her side. Judas was sitting beside Schatt and Quackity at the bar, Addie was tending to Technoblade and the blonde at their little table. Dream and Sapnap were whispering to one another in the corner but still seemed to be enjoying the show. Vendetta was smiling softly by the door, beside her were Luvena and Zig both playing various instruments. You noticed Eret was also amongst the crowd, she had a brilliant grin on his face, it was flushed pink with alcohol and you smiled to yourself.

It was peaceful, and for a moment you forget half the patrons were scoundrels or pirates.

That was until the man dancing with Juniper locked eyes with you, his eyes lit up and he spun Juniper off into Addie’s arms. She giggled snuggling into the mother sheep’s arms, you heard a distressed “Juni! I’m holding glasses!” Before your vision was overtaken by the handsome flirt.

“Hello love,” He hummed, “May I offer you a dance?”

You were about to refuse but you saw Yeti, who finally made her appearance as it was getting closer to Judas’s set, giving you a big thumbs up “I’d be honored.” You responded taking his hand within your own, he pulled you out onto the dance floor and you felt his other hand politely hover on the small of your back. He allowed you to lean into his touch as he began to elegantly spin you around the dance floor, you were almost embarrassed to say felt like a princess. “Maybe I could get your name?” You asked above the music, “Since it seems you’re my dance partner this evening?”

“Wilbur Soot my love.” He hummed proudly, “The first mate of the ship Odysseus at your service. Plus I play music on the side.”

“Well now you need to play for us,” Wilbur twirled you around in a circle,

“Maybe one day. If you give me your name?”

“(Y/n) (L/n).”

“Beautiful name for a beautiful woman.”

“I was right.” You commented biting the bottom of your lip trying not to smile,

“About what?”

“You.”

“Ah? Already talking about me I see? Is my manliness and gentlemanly qualities that renowned?”

“Not exactly.” He picked you up slightly and pulled you into a low dip, “I was right in thinking you a nothing but a flirty playboy.” Wilbur almost dropped you, you squawked grabbing onto his neck. He began to laugh as you clung to his chest,

“Alright love. You caught me red-handed.”

Wilbur set you on your feet hands on your lower back, you were pulled close to his chest. “Can I buy you a drink?”

“I get them for free hon. I own the place.”

“Oh...oh.” He paled a little, “I didn’t fuck up our chances of getting a room did I?”

“Nah lucky for you and your brothers, I have you covered, same with your buddies over there.” You motioned to Dream and Quackity’s friend, Wilbur’s face paled as he felt the chilled room key get placed in his palm. “What’s your little brother’s name?”

“Tommy.”

“Tell them both we serve breakfast free from 7 am to 10 am.” He nodded as you walked past, Wilbur meanwhile turned to look at Technoblade. It seemed he had his red eyes on the couple the entire time they were dancing. He held up a room key, it was labeled 205; Technoblade nodded his head before leaning back and talking to Addie once more. “Dream!” You called throwing a hand up into the air, instead of Dream, Sapnap looked up he nudged Dream with his elbow. The man was now wearing his mask, but at least you could tell he was looking at you,

“Well hello, darlin’ you must be (Y/n). Name's Sapnap. Dream told me about you, so you have good news for us I hope?”

“Pleasure, I'm sure he told you all about me,” He nodded, his eyes taking in your body especially your ass. “Got you both a room key, your neighbors. Across from the other crew of pirates. Just don’t fight and we won’t have any problems.”

“You mean those jackasses are staying?” Sapnap complained loudly, looking over your shoulder at the other crew members.

“You both didn’t think you were the only patrons, did you? This is a business after all.” You, tossed the keys their way, Dream caught it with ease and Sapnap fumbled it only a little bit. After they were in their hands, you waved them off with a flutter of your palm you turned around to go speak with Judas about her set but before you could take a step you saw Schlatt stumbling up from his seat. “Ah shit,” You knew what was about to happen, you weren’t paying attention to the ram hybrid so who knew how many drinks in he was. You felt responsible, for a while you and Judas had been trying to help Schlatt with his addiction. You couldn’t help but wonder what exactly set him off for him to get this drunk, Quackity caught him in his arms with a grumble. The man was a drunken mess, and as you approached you could hear his slurred speech and could practically smell the alcohol on his breath. “Schlatt,” You spoke carefully and as soon as you got close Schlatt detached himself from Quackity and lunged at you. His head was buried in his chest, he almost purred like he was very happy to be there, you rolled your eyes and ran your fingers through his hair. You were mindful of his horns but he seemed pretty eager for you to touch them,

“(Y/n).” He whined although it was muffled against your ample chest, “Why do pirates have to fuck everything up?”

“What are you on about Schlatt? No one likes pirates.”

“They’re gonna take you away from me, sugar. You’re my safe space, this tavern is my safe space.” You sighed listening to his drunken ramblings, you grabbed his horns and pulled him away from your chest.

“This is my life Schlatt, I’m not going anywhere trust me. Plus my family is here, they need me. So try not to worry okay?” You slicked back the hair on his forehead before planting a fond kiss there, everyone in the tavern narrowed their eyes at the scene. Even your girls were green with envy, at the sight of their lovely boss kissing someone who wasn’t them. He leaned against your lips eyes fluttering closed,

“Well, well, well if it isn’t Captian Schlatt? Or ex-captain if I remember correctly.”

“What?”

You turned your head and felt Schlatt’s arms wrap around your waist and held you close to his chest. The touch was protective and you felt your heart skip a beat, why was he protecting you, and why did you actually feel protected?

“Has the drinking finally caught up to you? Or was it the fact that you lost your so-”

Was that Dream's voice?

“Shut the fuck up.” He snarled and you were shoved behind him into Quackity’s arms, you felt less protected. “I’m not that person anymore and you fucking know that,” Vendetta came to stand beside the both of you a hand was placed on your shoulder protectively. You knew she was desperately wanted to step in and you held up a hand to stop her.

“This isn’t good…” Quackity murmured, “They’re going to fight. Schlatt’s going to get himself fucking killed.”

“Calm yourself. We won’t let it get that far.” Ven grumbled eyeing you waiting for your signal. But you were lost in the conversation or argument, the two were having, you couldn’t believe Schlatt was a pirate. He was so...he just didn’t...he was a drunk okay? That didn’t exactly shout feared pirate to you!

“Oh, are you sure? I remember that look, that’s the look you’d get before you stomped someone’s lights out. No wonder your son disappeared under mysterious circumstances-” Dream was shoved against one of the poles holding up the building. He grunted and Schlatt’s arm was pulled back ready to punch, but his arm was stopped by smaller hands,

“Pardon me Mr. Schlatt but you know how we feel about fighting in our tavern.” Addie bubbled, she had a smile on her face but it wasn’t kind, it was full of warning.

“Get the fuck off me, sheepie. This doesn’t fucking concern you.” Schlatt shoved her away and as soon as his skin made contact with her body he made a sound of distress.

“(Y/n)...” Addie murmured quietly, your father’s dagger was embedded in Schlatt’s arm,

“Fucking hell you bitch!” He snarled baring his teeth, you glared at him twisting the dagger he yelled in agony.

“Touch one of my girls again and next time this dagger is going right into your back.” You ripped the dagger out, splattering the floor with blood. He grabbed his arm tightly and looked at you with slight betrayal in his yellow eyes. “I mean it Schlatt, Quackity take him home.” The man nodded looking at you longingly, he muttered a quiet ‘Sorry’ before escorting him out of your tavern. “You,” You glared harshly over at Dream, “Go to your room.”

“You’re not my mother.”

“Then find another play to stay.” You spat, he turned away and you looked over at Addie, “Are you alright?” Your voice turned tender as you cupped her cheeks. She nuzzled against your palms and nodded her head,

“I’m fine. You didn’t need to-”

“Yes, I did. No one messes with you. With any of you on my watch.”

The sheep hybrid made a little sound as her bottom lip trembled, she wrapped you in a tight hug which you accepted without hesitance. Judas walked over next and wrapped you both in her arms, pretty soon you were surrounded by your girls and Zig.

All of them had the same mindset: comforting both you and Addie.

It was good to be loved.

Wilbur watched the scene curiously and glanced over at Technoblade who stood up from his chair.

“I think that’s our cue to leave for the night.” He looked over at his first mate, Wilbur nodded in agreement grabbing his guitar from the chair beside Technoblade.

“They...Techno were they talking about Tubbo.” Tommy whispered to his brother, his brow furrowing in concern as they all climbed the steps up to their room, “You don’t think-”

“It just might be Tommy.” Technoblade tilted his head to the side, “Guess that’ll be something we ask him when we get back to the ship tomorrow.”

“Well, this trip is going to be way more fun than I thought.” Wilbur snickered lighting a cigarette, taking a long drag, before letting the smoke curl out of his mouth and up into the rafters. ~~~

Tag List: @v01dw4lk3rz, @jam-bombs, @abovenyx, @glitterydigitalart, @phoenixaesthetic19, @luluwinchester, @boiled-onionrings, @pastelmoonwitche, @roxy3457, @alovestruck-fool, @victory-is-here, @mack4676, @fiorenc, @theoneandonlyyeti, @bloodrose0723, @sandyy-woo,

[yumgrapejuice]

OK WAIT y'all i didn't tell you about some of the highlights of my artist alley time

first of all. yea there were Quite a Few dsmp enjoyers and so my stuff did rather well, so i'm very glad about that haha, it was so endearing when you could See some of their faces light up when they saw my table....<33

but there were a few different types of buyers. there was the Shy one. you could see they wanted to get stuff but sometimes it took them circling back a few times to actually buy anything. very cute tbh. there was this one girl who was with a friend, though, and the friend wasn't a dsmp fan but they knew about it because their friend really liked it, so the moment they got to my table she went "omg it's dsmp!! the thing u like!! what do you wanna get?? i'm paying" and the girl was so bashful and hesitant but with her friend's encouragement she ended up getting quite a lot 😭❤️ the friend herself got a print because "i don't watch but damn this looks good" i love them

then there was the Casual buyer. they came, saw what they liked, got it, moved on. my favorite example was this goth dude who, completely wordlessly, got out his wallet, pointed at a fox fundy sticker, we exchanged the goods, and moved on. pleasure doing business with you sir

there was also the Clueless buyer. they didn't look like they knew it was dsmp stuff but they just found some of my designs cute. bless them

and my favorite one, the Confident one. oh fellas...... listen, whenever a guy or a group of guys walked by, i always got a bit nervous because, yk, it's not uncommon for them to be Rude. however!! there were some who were absolutely lovely, which always got me super excited. my absolute favorite example - this one guy in an ace attorney cosplay, my age, very fuckin cute, strode up to my table, eyes sparkling, and said "give me everything you have with dream" and FELLAS when i say love at first sight..... we talked some too, he expressed how he'd been searching for a table like this and he'd been getting a bit down cause he couldn't find much and how cool my stuff was, and i swear when i say i was swirling my hair and kicking my feet... yes this is why i'm HERE, and also i love you forreal....... such an absolute sweetheart.....

ok but there was another person who wasn't a fan or bought anything but absolutely made my day. they came up, said "i've been seeing these really cool cosplays but i have no idea what this fandom is about, so could you maybe tell me about it?" and i just went "😳🤩🥰😍GIRL.... I GOT YOU"

so i proceeded to spend the next 15 mins trying my best to explain what the fuck the dsmp is and what it's about lollll, a sure way to get me all hyper. and the girl was listening soooo enthusiastically, too, like!!!! she was clueless yet so interested!! at some point there were more people gathered around but idk if they just wanted to listen or thought it was stupid but i didn't care, i was laser-focused on my recap lmao. there was this another girl who kinda interrupted me and went "why do you sound so excited?" which uhh lol? but before i could respond, the one i was talking to turned to her and said "because it's exciting! it sounds so crazy!" like....i love you....wtf.......

it ended w her saying she'll try to look into it so no more spoilers and i just shoved my card to her, like "follow me talk to me you'd need a guide" anyways fingers crossed she reaches out ahaha

there was actually another table that had dsmp stuff, i just didn't go to any other tables myself cause i was feeling quite ill, but the artist later came to me and got whatever i had with hermitcraft, which, admittedly, wasn't,, a lot, so i'll have to work on that haha, but she was sooo sweet and her bad cosplay was so good....very lovely gal

anyways irl dsmp fans ily keep it up

[forkanna]

[AO3 LINK] [EF LINK]

NOTES: So this fic was a loooooong time coming. Sailor Moon was my first anime, waaaaaay back when there were maybe three anime on TV at all, and one that remains extremely dear to my heart. As with so many of my faves, I always feel a little gunshy about attempting fic in that genre, which is why it's taken me until now to take a walk through the Moon Kingdom. It was very satisfying in many ways.

These outtakes were a lot of fun – this whole fic was! Thanks to all the reviewers again (especially those who also love Makoto - thank you for the validation)! Hope you guys liked it, and liked celebrating Hanukkah with me! Stay tuned for Yule, and eventually Christmas!

Jessex

Act 6. NG (outtakes)

Usagi felt her heart pounding as she walked into the kitchen, where Ikuko Tsukino was standing by the stove. Somehow, the woman looked different than usual. Her eyes were distant and forlorn, mouth turned down in a worried frown. The way her tone had sounded calling for her was what got her adrenaline rushing behind her ears; her mother never sounded worried like that when she called for her.

"Mom? What's wrong?"

"Usagi…" Her face was a little flushed as she raised the magazine to show her the page it was open to. Usagi's cheeks darkened to the same shade, and surpassed it into an even deeper rouge. "Can you please explain this to me?"

Swallowing hard, she turned away, trying her best not to think about how much her face was burning. "M-Mom, I didn't think… you went through my room? And found it?"

"You left it open on your table. All these dog-ears in the pages; you're not just flipping through it. This is something you're into. I didn't… I mean, this isn't usual. Is it? Your mother is a bit old-fashioned, but…"

"No, no, you're right; I don't…" In a whisper, she said, "Don't tell anybody? Please? I know it's weird, but I'm not ready for all my friends to know I'm like that."

"Well, I… I mean, were you planning on exploring this sometime? Of all people, I didn't think my own little girl…" Her hand gestured to the page, a weak laugh falling from her lips. "This is just very strange to me, and I'm not sure how it would even work for you."

It took a lot of bravery for her to whisper, "Actually, Mom… I wanted to try it with you."

"What?" The roundness of her eyes hurt Usagi; she didn't think this would ever come up, let alone be talked about in such detail! But the cat was out of the bag now.

"Like you said, I'm not sure how to do that. Really don't have any clue. So if you could help me… teach me what you know…" She approached hesitantly, hands coming up, pulling back, then finishing their movement to rest on Ikuko's forearm. "You have to be better at this than me. I mean, look at the proof!" She gestured to herself.

"Usagi…" Her hand came up to cup her daughter's cheek. "This is very unexpected, but I can't deny… I'm very curious. And interested."

"You are?! I thought you would… laugh, or be ashamed of me."

"No, no. Well, it's very strange to me, but I suppose I don't mind trying something new. With you."

Ikuko leaned closer and pressed her lips into her forehead, and Usagi sighed, thinking it had been so long since she felt the softness of her mother's kiss. She sighed, leaning up into it, heart soaring on wings at her mother's acceptance. Sometimes, your parents really could surprise you.

"Alright. So, um… I guess you saw the jeans are pretty basic, might have to dye them turquoise? Orange socks, I can borrow those from Minako… gloves shouldn't be a huge problem, or the shoes; I think I have some like those. But I don't know about the little black vest. I mean, do they sell those?"

Leaning over the counter to look at the page with her daughter, she said, "I'm sure we can alter a normal-sized vest. I just… please, please tell me you aren't going to cut your beautiful hair just to look like this manga character. I know children like to dress up for parties and things, but that's too far!"

"Well, it's cosplay, Mom." Seeing the obvious confusion, she went on, "It's not just for children; I know that's probably why you were so wigged, but I promise, lots of grown-up people do this, too. And Naru and I want to go to one of the conventions, and… I dunno, I thought I might look good in this!"

"As I said, I'm not going to judge you," she said in a carefully patient tone, still looking a bit embarrassed. Maybe it was secondhand, or maybe she had felt slightly ashamed that her daughter was seriously contemplating doing something she thought to be immature. "And if you really want to do this, I will support you all the way. Unless you cut your hair!"

Smiling at her mother's concern, she reached up to pat her shoulder consolingly. "No, no, I was going to try to style it that way without cutting it. Like, maybe some bobby pins? I think we can do it. And if not, there's always wigs."

"Are you sure you couldn't cosplay as someone more wholesome? She looks like some kind of loose woman…"

"Actually, she's an android! Do you wanna know her backstory? She's pretty rad!"

Ikuko clearly didn't. But she did listen patiently, and helped to plot how they would fashion the costume with her daughter. Maybe it wasn't the ideal way for her, and Usagi felt the same way, but they were both glad of an opportunity to reconnect after feeling such a gulf between them — especially now that she had a secret identity that her mother could never know anything about. At the very least, this was something they could do together as a family.

                                                            ~ X ~

"Serenity, I've waited so long to find you," Tuxedo Mask breathed as he swept in through the window to land deftly on the carpet, slowly removing the white eyemask and revealing himself. "It is I, Mamoru Chiba. I know I have deceived you, and for that, I'm sorry… but now, I have at last remembered our past. You and I were destined to b-"

"What?"

His eyelashes fluttered as he saw Usagi's head raise from where it had been pointed down at a shojo manga, legs gently kicking over her back as she lay on her stomach. Apparently, she had been so absorbed in the reading material that she had missed part of his announcement. "Well… I've remembered something. We were destined for each other. I, Prince Endymion, and you, Princess Serenity. Our reign over the… I'm sorry, am I distracting you from something?"

"Yeah. It's just getting really good." Her finger poked at the pages as she looked back down at them. "Dunno, I think the grandma might be coming back. Really gonna shake things up!"

"Usako, I'm trying to tell you that I'm in love with you."

"Oh, that? Yeah… no thanks. I'm a lesbian."

"What?!"

"Lesbian. You know, yuri? Girls' Love?" Her index and middle finger pushed against the corners of her mouth and her tongue flicked out and flailed up and down. It was lewd, but it got the point across. "Get it? Nothing against you, Chiba-san, but I'm not buying what you're selling. Sorry!"

Clearing his throat, Mamoru glanced between the window and the bed where Usagi was lounging easily. His mind seemed to be taking its sweet time absorbing this new information. Then he tried for a patient smile. "Oh. Well… I beg you to reconsider. Our destiny…"

"Whatever, bro. Destiny doesn't get to tell me who to date, and I can't pretend to be attracted to you if I'm not. Biology doesn't work that way. Also, isn't it kind of creepy jumping into a junior high girl's bedroom in the middle of the night? Somebody should call the police."

"Well, uh, it's not creepy if you wanted me here! But if you don't, I suppose I'll… get out of your way…"

"Thanks. Oh, but hang on!" Hopping up from the bed, she pranced over to him with a small smile. "Actually, there is something you could do for me."

"Yes, my love?"

"Teach me that thing where you throw roses! Like, she'd really flip her lid if I could do that out of nowhere like you do, and it might be enough to get me to second base!"

"Ehrm… with who?" But when her finger wagged back and forth, he guessed, "You're… not going to tell me?"

"Can't risk you blabbing, now, can I? Gotta try working my magic first! Anyway, thanks for stopping by — and think it over! We can still help each other out saving the world from the Dark Kingdom and all that, right?"

Laughing, he scratched the back of his neck as she began gently shoving him toward the open window. "Yes, of course. The Legendary Silver Crystal is of the utmost-"

"Yeah, yeah, crystals. I'll put in a good recommendation to one of the other Senshi; some of them like boys, so hey, keep hope alive!"

Then she was slamming the window shut behind him. Tuxedo Mask only spared himself a moment to shake his head out, trying to rid himself of that dazed feeling before he took off into the night.

                                                            ~ X ~

Never before had a hand so strong caressed Usagi's face the way Haruka Tenou's was. It shouldn't have been possible; not even Mamoru's touch soothed her this way. What was happening in her brain? Every atom of herself was alive, her heart thudding against her chest like a fist pounding on a door. If something didn't happen soon…

"Haruka… are you a man? Or are you a woman?" That was one thing she needed to know.

"Man, woman…" Haruka leaned down to bring their faces closer, messy blonde hair swishing in front of her eyes, lips twitching into a lazily confident smile before she spoke again. "What difference does it make?"

That clenched it. There was no point in saying anything like that if she were a man; most boys she'd ever met would say something like "I'll show you I'm a man!" in response to a question like that. Fragile masculinity wouldn't let them be labelled a woman for even an instant. Besides…

This close, she could smell her. Maybe she wasn't as sweetly perfumed as her friends, or her mother, but she definitely used a floral body wash. Even her sweat seemed feminine.

And she tasted equally feminine when they connected. What a kiss! It mixed her up inside, feeling soft lips being pushed so firmly into her own, the strength and the tenderness blasting her with conflicting signals. She was kissing a girl! But it still felt like a boy-kiss! Maybe that was because she was the same height as Mamoru, and probably stronger. Her hands slid up Haruka's jacket lapels and tugged her closer, opening her lips to prove that she was not afraid, was ready to be kissed like this. What on earth was this feeling…?

Then she felt the connection being shifted to one side. Usagi tried to lean with the motion, to maintain their tryst, but eventually she couldn't, so she was forced to open her eyes and find out what was the matter.

"I'll tell you what difference it makes!" Michiru shouted at Haruka as she dragged her away by the ear. "You know that tonight is our date night — you were supposed to take me out for French cuisine! And instead, I find you Frenching another girl!"

"Ow, owowow!" Haruka protested, finally wrestling out of her girlfriend's grip. "Hey, I still had plenty of time! We weren't supposed to meet at the restaurant for five hours!"

Michiru folded her arms and glared up at her. Even though she was five inches shorter and more petite, and her soft waves of teal hair made her seem like a benevolent sea-goddess, at that moment she looked more like a towering force of nature to be reckoned with. Like a tsunami.

"I don't care if you play around with children, Haruka. It's a little unseemly, but if that's your hobby, fine. But you could at least save it for a day when we're not supposed to be together later that night! You're the only woman for me, so you could at least make me the only woman for you within a single day!"

Together?! Not only was Haruka a woman, but she was with Michiru! Like THAT! Not that it should have been much of a surprise, but Usagi had been a little too wrapped up in being kissed so sweetly to have given any thought to Haruka hanging around with Michiru all the time. What their 'friendship' might really mean.

"O-oh!" she burst out in sudden realisation. "Lesbians! I'm sorry, I didn't… I didn't mean t-to interfere, I'll just…"

The smile on Haruka's face when she glanced back toward Usagi was a bit wicked, but mostly fond. "Maybe we could bring her with us tonight. Double our fun and excitement."

"Hmph," Michiru scoffed, turning her face away. "One would almost get the impression that one wasn't that important to you anymore if you already need to spice up our relationship with a third wheel."

Usagi felt her ears going red. What were they discussing?!

"Baby, don't be like that," Haruka said earnestly, kneeling at Michiru's feet and clasping one of her hands. "You know that at the end of the day, no one else could hold my attention the way you do. I'm yours for all eternity."

Both Michiru and Usagi melted and cooed "Awwww!" Hearing she hadn't been alone, Michiru did briefly glare at Usagi, but then when she turned to see her lover was still gazing only at her, the glare softened and she reluctantly smiled.

"Alright. I suppose… Usagi is rather sweet, for a baby gay. But look, don't touch. She has the Earth Prince, remember, you homewrecker?"

"I'm not a baby!" Usagi muttered, mostly to herself. "I'm barely two years younger than you guys!"

"Oh?" she giggled, casting her dazzling blue eyes in Usagi's direction. The thrill that shot through her body was not a subtle or a moderate one. "Then you do want to come along tonight? We should probably warn you, after dinner, things are likely to get… a little intense."

About five minutes had passed before Usagi could move or think again. By that point, both of the mysterious Mugen Gakuen students had long departed, leaving her a quivering mess of burgeoning homosexuality.

                                                            ~ X ~

"Miss Haruna?" Usagi Tsukino whispered hesitantly as she edged into the classroom. "I… know I'm a little late for my detention, but I can explai-"

"Oh, you ravishing creature."

"H-Haruna-sensei?"

Slowly, her voluptuous frame turned, long waves of auburn hair bouncing lightly as she faced her student, hazel eyes shimmering with emotion. "How many hours I have stared across the room, wishing to take your hands into mine and kiss them… to show you the depth of my heart. But circumstance holds us apart from one another! Oh, cruel fate, why do you thwart me so?"

Usagi was frozen just inside the door. This couldn't be happening. Her teacher, Haruna Sakurada, was really confessing her feelings? It was so unexpected! Especially since she had literally never spent a single moment entertaining the idea of any romantic connection between her and the dazzling instructor. On the other hand, she was passionate, and beautiful, and not that much older than her for a teacher…

"M-m-m-miss Haruna, I… y-you really feel…?" Her face was turning slowly redder as she backed up to the wall, heart thudding in her throat. "B-but we're both women, and I'm y-your student, and we-"

"Hm?" The teacher's expression clarified, and she blinked a few times. "Miss Tsukino, what are you doing here?"

"Huh? B-but I have detention today, don't I?"

"No, it's tomorrow." Then she suddenly took a long step backward to sit on her desk. "Wait, how long have you been standing there?!"

Squeaking in alarm at the sharpness in Haruna-sensei's tone, she said, "I d-dunno, a minute?"

"NO! You can't have overheard my rehearsal!"

"Rehearsal?" Glancing at the desk, she saw a stack of printed pages, stapled at one corner and folded back. A script? "Wh-what…?"

Now it was Haruna's face that was red, and she was pushing her hands into her cheeks. "Please never tell anyone! I'm auditioning for a local production, it's… oh, I'm so embarrassed!" Turning away fully, she snapped, "Y-you can consider tomorrow's detention taken care of if you promise to keep this a secret!"

"Y-yes, of course, Haruna-sensei! I will!"

All the way down the hallway, Usagi felt like a complete idiot as she sprinted on flailing feet. How could she have possibly thought those words were intended for her?! How conceited her poor bun-head was! The sooner she could forget this whole incident, the better.

                                                            ~ X ~

"Yes, Usagi Tsukino," Dark Lady purred as she reached out to grasp Sailor Moon's face, caressing her tear-stained, flushed cheeks. "I was once your pathetic Chibiusa. But now… I have transcended that form. Thanks to the power of the Black Moon, I can now remove you from my life. Take Mamoru for my own. And you are powerless to stop it."

Usagi had to swallow hard to keep her heart from racing ahead of her. She found herself leaning closer and closer to the gorgeous face above her, breathing, "Chibiusa…"

"My name is Dark Lady now, Moon Face." But their lips were getting closer and closer. "W-wait, what are you doing? Stop, don't you understand your position? You've lost! Both your love and y- STOP IT!"

But Usagi was already blowing into Chibiusa's nose. The taller, glamorous version of her future daughter squawked and tried to push her away, but it was no use; Usagi had latched on and formed a perfect seal around the tiny nose, which was causing a harsh razzing noise to issue from her open mouth, since the air had nowhere else to go.

"AAGH!" she finally gasped out when she had freed herself, both hands rubbing at her nose and her mouth to rid them of the lingering discomfort. "That's disgusting! How dare y- wait, let go of me, let go!"

Bending her over her knee, Usagi shouted, "And THIS is for thinking we didn't love you! Silly little brat, you can't marry your father and destroy the universe! If you take him away from me, how are you even gonna be born? That doesn't make any sense!"

Every time her hand crashed into Dark Lady's behind, she called out "AH!" or "NO!" until the tears began to fall. Not long afterward, her slender supermodel body began to shrink down into the chubby child that Usagi had come to know and find annoying.

"There, there," she whispered gently as she drew her up into a tight hug, letting her bawl into her shoulder. "It's okay, Chibiusa. It's okay. Mommy's not going anywhere."

"You're not M-Mommy! You're just a dumb… dumb Bun-head I… I'm s-so sad and my b-butt hurts!"

With a little chuckle, she kissed the side of her head. "I know, I know. Your mom from the future's a thousand years older and probably way smarter… but I'm still her. We both love you and want you to be happy. And if you think killing me and everyone else is going to do that…"

The tears only got louder. Somewhere in all her blubbering, Usagi heard the word "sorry" being screamed, so she smiled to herself as she cradled Chibiusa close.

"Shhhh. It's alright, sweetie. Everything's going to be alright."

Well, once they took care of Wiseman and the Black Moon, of course. But things were already looking up. How difficult could they be?

                                                            ~ X ~

"Actually, I'm serious. You have Sailor V right here, in your room, ready to listen. What have you always wanted to tell her?" Turning around, she caught sight of the comfortable bench in front of Usagi's vanity and took a seat — though she kept her posture erect, hoping that was how a "superhero" would sit. "Go on."

"Well… no, I couldn't." But Minako didn't flinch, or do anything other than sit patiently. So eventually, Usagi sat on the edge of her bed, looking down at her knees. "You really want to hear all that?"

"Of course. Sailor V fights to protect the world in the name of love and justice! What her fans think of her is very important, too."

The blush was coming back now that they weren't tittering so much. After a few seconds of kicking her legs back and forth, toes skimming over the pink area rug, she finally whispered, "I… oh, this is so lame! I'M so lame!"

"You're not. I promise. Come on, tell me anything."

"Well, alright." Clearing her throat, she straightened her back and forced herself to be brave. "I'm actually not Sailor Moon."

"What?" Minako's eyes narrowed behind her mask. "I mean… what are you talking about? Of course you are."

"Actually, I just start the transformation sequence flashing, and then I call for my stunt double. Serena?" Another blonde with pigtails emerged from inside Usagi's closet, waving bashfully. "Look how cute she is. Seriously, can you believe how cute?!"

One of Sailor V's fingers raised, then lowered again as her mouth opened and closed. No, she definitely didn't have the words for this. So she asked the only thing she could think to ask right off the cuff: "Where… does she live? Like, you can't seriously expect me to believe she just sits in your closet until the world needs Sailor Moon?"

"Ohhh, don't be silly! Okay, look."

They both got up, and Serena seemed more than happy to slide the closet door aside for them to peek in. Behind the clothes was a somewhat comfortable-looking chair, a book light, and a few trashy magazines. Most of them were in English, which Minako knew Usagi couldn't read very well.

"Is she, like… not from Japan?"

"Hey, we don't have actual magical girls here, do we?"

"What about Rei, and Ami, and Makoto?"

"Okay, besides them," she whispered, waving a hand as if that were an unimportant bullet point in an otherwise flawless presentation. Meanwhile, Serena was examining her nails and waiting for them to get done with this show-and-tell. "Anyway, I bring her snacks, and she has weekends off unless an emergency comes up. Those days when I look really wimpy and can barely do anything against the enemies? That's because I have to wear the suit myself. Just not nearly as great at the job as she is, but I mean, I'm the Moon Princess. Not an actual Senshi."

In a weirdly stilted dialect, Serena said, "Yeah. Moon Princess. She is so beautiful, and good! I want to be…" In English, she said, "God, I'm never gonna get this. The tapes aren't helping."

"It's okay!" Minako replied in the same language. "We can speak English if that's easier."

"Thank GOD. Normally, I try to stick to the lines Usagi coaches me in, but like, WOW is it hard to remember the conversational stuff." Then she smiled a little wider. "I like fighting alongside you guys! Y'know, when I can. Too bad we have to keep up appearances or I'd just fight with you and the Princess."

"Now, now, that would just get confusing," Usagi said reasonably, her own English not quite as good so she stuck to Japanese. "Besides, the whole point was to keep me out of danger, and not make you do the stand-in work, right, V?"

"Oh yeah! In that case… yeah, thanks, Serena."

"Anytime," the double said with a huge grin. "Y'know, we should all go out to eat! I mean, I still don't really know much about Japanese food besides rice and ramen…"

Warming to the subject, Usagi bounced over and looped her arm through both Minako and Serena's elbows. "C'mon, let's go right now! I mean, I'm not busy if you're not — you'd just have to do something about that hair so we don't raise suspicions by looking too alike."

"Yeah… hey, why not?" Mina said with a slowly-growing smile. "We have all this time to ourselves, and I think we could all be awesome friends! Blonde Brigade for life!"

"Yes!" Serena said, again in Japanese. "The friends for us to be!"

And away they skipped to find a decent restaurant. Right after Minako de-transformed, and the stunt double stuffed all her hair up until a giant hat, to keep her from being recognised; wouldn't want their connection to the Sailor Scouts to be that public.

                                                            ~ X ~

"Luna, no one understands me!" Usagi burst out as she threw herself down on her bed. "Rei is so mean all the time, and Tuxedo Mask acts like I'm not even alive…. Wh-what do I do?"

A paw came to rest on her head. "Don't worry, Sailor Moon. I'm always going to be here for you. Even when they all turn a blind eye to your inner pain, I won't. Even though I'm hard on you sometimes… it's because I care, and I hope to make you better than you are. To show you the path to your best self."

Her hand came up to rest gently against the back of her feline companion. "Oh… oh Luna, you're so sweet…" Her lips moved forward, and pressed into a tiny muzzle. "If only you were Tuxedo Mask… someone as kind and caring as you would be way better than that selfish creep. All he cares about is the Silver Crystal and throwing flowers! Not like my Luna, who sees who I really am… who's so soft…"

The room was mostly silent for a moment. Then Luna muttered, "If you start trying to make out with me, I'll scratch you blind, Bun-head."

"What? Oh, sorry; I wasn't going to, I promise!"

Usagi flopped over onto her side and curled up with a pillow, feeling bad that she made Luna uncomfortable on accident. Maybe she needed to start chewing ice, or exercising… anything to take the edge off these annoying desires.

"You ought to go and see Koan," Luna suggested with a large sweatdrop over the crescent moon symbol on her forehead. "After all, you seemed to get along fairly well with her, and her hairstyle resembles cat ears. Vent your strange urges on her and leave me alone."

"Ehh? Luna, please, you really don't-"

The small feline face now bore a smirk. "I've heard you calling out her name in your sleep…"

Blushing to the roots of her hair, Usagi curled a little harder against her pillow. It was true that she was very glad Koan and her sisters had been saved from Black Moon's influence, given a new chance to live honest lives, but she hadn't realised the tall, glamorous woman was on her mind so deeply. And it was true that she liked her, and looked forward to seeing her…

"Maybe I will." When Luna chuckled, she sat up and grabbed her pillow to slam it down on the cat. "TO SAY 'HELLO', kitanai neko!" There was a lot of squabbling and flailing underneath it as Usagi stood and stomped toward the door. This was the last time she would ever trust her cat-shaped companion not to tease her over nothing.

                                                            ~ X ~

"So which of us is it gonna be?!"

Usagi backed up shakily from the glares of the five women in front of her, hands held up to ward off their negative radiation. "Wh-what do you mean?"

"We can't all be your girlfriends," Ami told her reasonably, arms folded over her chest. "Be rational."

"Yeah!" Makoto chimed in. "Isn't it hard enough being a lesbian in Nineties Japan and taken seriously? Just make up your mind already!"

"But I'm only dating you guys in separate 'verses!" Usagi protested, backed against the wall by now. "God, I don't even know how you guys found out about it — technically, it's against the laws of physics!"

Rei slammed her hand against the wall next to Usagi's head. "Doesn't matter, bubble-brain! You can't two-time us, and you sure as hell can't five-time us! That's just too far!"

Unable to help herself, Usagi muttered under her breath, "Sheeeeeze, when you or Makoto act so strong, I get chills…"

"Um," Naru put in nervously, scratching the back of her neck. "I feel a little out of place here for some reason. Maybe I should just go…"

"That'd probably be for the best," Minako confirmed.

"Wait, don't!" Slipping out from behind Rei's arm, she ran over to grasp her old friend's arm, clinging tightly. "Don't go, I can't let you leave thinking that you're not as important as my new friends!"

"New girlfriends," Makoto corrected, sounding jealous but also hurt. And Usagi's heart was breaking.

"Alright," Ami finally said after having spent some time typing into her miniature Supercomputer. "There seems to only be one logical course of action. Usagi should spend time with each of us, and reach a decision as to which woman she wishes to date. If she can reach no such decision within an appointed trial period, she will forfeit all dating rights."

As the others were all pondering that, beginning to nod, Usagi slumped. "But I told you, I'm not dating all of you. Not really! It's like, five different Usagis are dating you, not just one for five girls! You get that, right?"

"Shut up and decide!" Rei snarled. "And it better be me — you've seen me naked!"

"Hey, that's not our fault," Minako protested, hands on her hips. "Just because you're some kind of slu-"

"OH!" Naru burst out, hopping up and down with an index finger raised. "How about a kiss-off? Best kisser wins!"

Before Usagi knew what was happening, they were all muttering their agreement and pressing in closer to her. Their lips were puckered, all vying for the attentions of her own, and she felt sweat break out over her forehead. Suddenly the bed was rising up to meet her back, and all five of them were atop her, warm bodies pressed in close, kisses being left all over her face, she couldn't get away, couldn't breathe-

The blare of her alarm clock woke Usagi from the feverish dream. It took her several seconds of heaving breaths before she realised… it had been a nightmare. The sheets were somewhat coiled around her, and a thin layer of sweat coated her entire body. Also, she felt warmth blossoming in her face.

"All five of them?! I must be crazy…"

"What's the problem, dear?"

Rolling over, she curled around the presence beside her in the bed. "I had this bizarre dream. All of my friends were coming onto me — girls, I mean. No more coffee cake before sleepytime!"

"Oh, Usagi-chan…" Rolling over, Gurio Umino adjusted his glasses as he leaned closer to her face. "Too much time spent on the Internet. Leave that to me! Maybe I can find upskirt pictures of them for you in one of my newsgroups?"

Usagi Tsukino was still screaming, even as she woke up from the nightmare that had been sandwiched around the other nightmare. The first thing she did was throw her sheet and duvet aside, making sure she was alone in her bed. Then she pinched her own leg; success. She was actually awake this time.

"Phew… there's a bad dream, and then there's a horrible nightmare. I'd rather be mauled in the first one!"

"Usagi!" came the call from outside her bedroom. "You'll be late for school if you don't hurry up!"

Still a little dazed, she called out "OKAY, MOM!" as she got changed and raced downstairs. Another day of school awaited. She only hoped she wouldn't feel too awkward around her friends after such dreams as the ones she had been plagued by the night before.

"Seriously, all five of them?!" Usagi burst out as she raced down the street, fuku flapping behind her in the wind that her speed was creating. "You're out of your mind, Sailor Moon!"

                                                       THE END [for real this time]