#i'll end up being on there for an hour
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Fr this is me every single time I tell myself I'm going to watch an Elvis movie or one of his concerts. 95% of the time I can't work myself up to doing it because I know that I will literally sit there and just lose my mind for 2hrs straight. 😭
do any of you ever reach a point in your hyperfixation where you like it so much that you start feeling like you actually can't interact with it because of how much you like it. does that make any sense at all. like the idea of watching the show becomes unappealing not because your love for it is flagging but because you feel like you don't have the strength that day to contain your own excitement about it so you have to wait for a day where you don't feel so wholly consumed it makes you sick
#its so bad actually#like even when I go on pinterest#i'll end up being on there for an hour#even though I only went looking for one photo#the elvis hyperfixation is real#elvis#elvis presley#elvis aaron presley#tcb
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mildly entertaining pjo fandom curse (mostly in that you can make games out of it):
everybody draws Piper showing skin. half the time Shel as well. literally almost EVERYBODY. go look at Piper fanart. is she wearing a crop top? i bet she is. or if she's wearing a dress hers is gonna be one of the most revealing. bonus points if they gave her a belly button piercing. and it's almost always only Piper and/or Shel. i thought we had a whole discussion about sexualizing young indigenous girls back in like 2021 but i guess nobody processed that part cause pjo fandom acts like if they dont have Piper show her stomach or have her shirt ride up they'll die.
the curse is that you will never unsee this. have fun with that.
#pjo#riordanverse#piper mclean#my friend inflicted this curse onto me and now i must inflict it unto you#like obviously just drawing Piper wearing a croptop by itself is not egregious on it's own but its EVERYBODY *ONLY* draws her in a croptop#as like her default outfit. constantly.#and *ONLY* her. this is not done for any other characters - including other Aphrodite kids. Only Piper (and maybe Shel)#anyways this is what i have to deal with every time i look at piper fanart#its like same 4 things: crop top. bad skin tones and/or stereotyped nose. feathers. and/or beaded earrings#thats it thats all Piper fanart in a nutshell#(the last one like nine times out of ten ends up just feeling like exoticization)#(cause if pjo fandom doesnt have a visual indicator of her being native american or cant ''make her look 'more native''' they die or smth)#btw if you ever say the phrase ''make her look 'more native''' about Piper or Shel or etc i'll eat your kneecaps#saying those words gives me legal permission to hunt you for sport. btw. it also means you owe me 20 dollars.#anyways fun drinking game or etc: take a shot every time piper has a crop top or her shirt up somehow in fanart#warning: my friend and i played this game with water and we both finished like two full bottles of water in like an hour#its REALLY BAD#we literally have a game of every time we share piper fanart in the gc one of us will call out ''her stomach is showing'' and we all scream
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i keep adding things to this one post and then realizing they'd make more sense as a separate post. so here's how the party explained what happened in dagger ending au to bonnie:
Siffrin was very sad and worried about everyone leaving, because he was alone before he met us and he didn't want to be alone again. But he didn't talk about it because we all had plans that seemed very important, and he didn't want to get in the way, and he didn't want to admit that he didn't have anything else to do. It sounds pretty silly when you put it like that, but the rest of us were nervous to admit how much we cared about each other, too! Sometimes it's hard to tell someone how important they are to you, if you don't know whether you're important to them.
During the quest it was okay, because Siffrin knew we would stay together until Vaugarde was saved. But getting to Dormont meant the quest was almost over, and they got so upset at the idea of everyone leaving, that they didn't really care about what they were doing. Why did it matter what happened to them, when they were going to be sad and alone tomorrow either way? So they weren't very careful while they were training, and they got hurt. Luckily Odile saw, and Mirabelle healed them right up.
Now, he's really glad that we all decided to stay together longer! But he might still feel worried for a while, because it's hard to believe that everyone isn't leaving, after he's been dreading it for so long. And sometimes when you're sad for a long time, your brain just tries to keep being sad even when there isn't any reason to be. But if we keep reminding him that we love him just as much as he loves us, it'll start to stick in his brain better! We might also need to remind him to be careful and take care of himself, because that can be hard to remember when you're sad. And while he practices that, we can help take care of him, too!
#bonnie: oh you mean like depression?#isabeau: uh. yeah exactly. we don't know for sure yet but it's very likely that siffrin is depressed#bonnie: [nods very seriously.] i'll wash all the dishes so he doesn't have to. but if he feels like helping then he can help.#<- this bit goes in the tags bc we're getting into my very specific nille headcanons lmao#dagger ending au#did i need to write this whole thing out? no. but i had fun 😌#explaining things to people is my favorite thing in the world. especially children#note there is only ONE direct lie in this - the 'while they were training'#killing yourself sure involves being so upset that you stop being careful with your body!!#unfortunately without Some 'context in which it makes sense that being a little not-careful could get you really hurt'#bonnie definitely woulda asked what happened#and then it's more difficult to avoid the truth without more specific lies#so. we lead with one lie about an inconsequential detail that the full truth doesn't actually contradict#maybe siffrin Was training when he decided to kill himself.. who knows......#very important to be truthful as possible here i think bc a 12 year old could definitely figure out at some point what actually happened#and if that happens you do nottt want to be the person who Straight Up Majorly Lied#they'll be upset enough without also totally losing trust in you#(however 10-12 is young enough that bonnie really does NOT need to know right now. especially not on top of everything else.#they may figure it out eventually but ideally we will try to prevent that happening for as long as possible.)#plus bonnie is gonna. be around siffrin. so all the emotional stuff is gonna be relevant!#better to explain it preemptively and establish that it's something we're allowed to talk about#i know this party is shit at communicating but i do have to believe they could pull this together for bonnie#at least if given an hour to decide what they're gonna say#mirabelle has been to therapy#isabeau has crisis response training#odile is 40 something years old so this can't be the first rly difficult situation she's had to navigate. and she's very practical#and siffrin takes bonnie seriously and has proven he understands when to establish yourself as a trusted adult who#won't bullshit you and when to use that power to get away with lying or avoiding the truth when it's really necessary#or maybe the occasional prank but that's fine i think if done carefully and in moderation#isat
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quick traditional piece for fun ^^
#I dont work traditionally very often because it hurts my hands quite a bit#if it's something that only takes me an hour or so then I can do it#but if we're getting into 2-3+ hour territory...#can't do it :(#theoretically I could pause and come back but when you're mixing colors and stuff that ends up being pretty dang rough#buuuut I'm trying to do more non-computer stuff lately...#so I'll probably do some little things here or there#been sooo tired lately lol sorry#I've been working and dont have much to share unfortunately!#I cant really share MOST of the panels I've been doing#the nature of what I'm writing like... 90% of what I'm drawing right now is legitimately spoilers...#so I can't even share wips!!!#I do have something I'm hoping to get posted soon but I've gotta wait on some other people for it...#anyways#we were legion#zagan#traditional art#art#my art#my ocs#demon#underwater#man why do I tag that other stuff I doubt anyone is going to my blog an searching that
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so here's my honest thoughts on dragon age: the veilguard, after ~40 hours of playing. i finished the main quest after having finished all companion quests and major faction quests. just to clear up what content i saw, i played as an elven transmasc rook who is a member of the lords of fortune. he romanced lucanis (although after finishing the game i'm now leaning towards taash). i don't know what's happening in playthroughs that have a different race, gender identity, romance or faction going on.
full spoilers ahead, i mean it. don't read further if you want to avoid them. i don't want complaining about it in my asks.
oh and also, if you're worried because of a few negative reviews online i can comfort you by saying don't give a fuck about a certain big name youtuber who is very much tied to bethesda franchises giving this a negative review. i'll explain why.
i'm starting off with the things i liked
the game looks really pretty. i was worried it wouldn't feel like thedas anymore (with them trying to "focus on northern thedas only" i thought they'd make a clear cut in environmental design. they do and they don't. it's complicated. i'll elaborate on it when talking about the negative stuff). anyway it does. minrathous feels like kirkwall. treviso enchanted me like the winter palace did. the hossberg wetlands reminded me of the hinterlands and a couple other inquisition maps. arlathan looked like... arlathan. the crossroads were different, but familiar. overall i like the way it looks and feels. it's thedas, with a twist. it's a good one, and gives everything a solid but unique feel.
combat is top tier. if you're a hardcore dragon age player you WILL miss the tactical aspect of it for a bit, but i promise you, once you're used to the way the combat works, you will be lapping that shit up. and once you get to ability combos you'll mourn the control you used to have over your companions in battle a bit less
the MAIN quest and its story. i expected worse, way worse. and for a while the game even had me tricked (harr harr you'll get it in a second) it is Really That Much Worse. but holy shit was it good. i walked away satisfied ngl.
your choices have SOLID weight. there's consequences, good AND bad. i got minrathous blighted, ruled over by venatori, and the leader of the shadow dragons ultimately died because of my decisions. i made those at the beginning and throughout the game. he died at the end. DAVRIN died because i didn't expect what i was saying to have that much weight. i thought i was in the clear. he had hero status. well turns out, your choices can still get your companions killed even if you do everything right. i fucking love him. he shouldn't have made that sacrifice just because i told him to do everything it takes once.
the inquisitor, morrigan and dorian being there, surprisingly. there's also negatives to this though, see below.
speaking of companions dying and the inquisitor playing a bigger role: the final quest feels like me2's suicide mission. i was blown away by it and the fact that i got to see the results of all my efforts playing out in front of me.
bioware are NOT trying to redeem solas. they love him as a character yes, but i wasn't forced to see any good in him. he betrays you. he fucked my rook over twice. he fucked him over right back, for good this time (the veil wasn't torn down, i anchored it by binding him to it, he's doomed to uphold it). but solas really lives up to his name as the trickster elven god. rip to all the people who grew really attached to him over the years.
varric died. if you like him that's probably as hard reading it as it was watching it. varric died and the game lies about it until the very end. when the realisation hits, it hurts. but in the very best way.
the amount of care they put into gender expression and trans identities this time around. (i'll add onto this with negative points as well too).
rook feels very much ingrained in the world of thedas. he doesn't ask questions that expose the player to lore through dialogue as if he's stepped foot into thedas for the first time. those conversations feel very solid and good. i hope other faction players got as much joy out of this as i did.
and the things i didn't like and boy there's a lot unfortunately
the music. let's just get that out of the way holy shit. it doesn't feel like it belongs in this universe. it gets so incredibly sci-fi-y at times you'd think it's taken straight from mass effect andromeda. there's not a single song unique to veilguard that i really enjoyed. it broke my immersion, real bad. hearing a busker play the tavern songs from inquisition on a lute right after i killed some venatori with wobbly bass songs playing in the background is just odd. weird tonal shift. don't like it. it's made for people who like flashy light-weight cinema.
tevinter nights is required reading. the podcasts are required listening exercises. the game is so fast paced, especially at the start, that there's no time to introduce you to characters and how much weight their names carry in-game. i would not have known who half these people are if i hadn't skimmed over tevinter nights. i'd care even less about them than i already did. there is no time to get properly attached to them. people will act as if you're talking to a legend personified and you'll be thinking man goddamn which chapter of tevinter night were they in again and what did they do???
there's a weird mismatch with the animations. you'll have beautifully fluid ones, like emmrich casting spells. and then you'll have rook's face animating in the most unnatural manner that's sorta reminiscent of mass effect andromeda's "my face is tired" addison, when their emotions SHOULD be landing with the player rn instead.
i'm not vibing with the art style. sometimes it works. most of the time it doesn't. at points i felt like i was watching tangled.
that also brings me to some of the dialogue. same issue. i am watching frozen. i am watching tangled. someone on the writer's team really likes the adorkable trope. bellara is its victim.
for all the talk about identity, bioware sure doesn't like theirs. the grey warden armor got a redesign again and it just makes them look like a generic army. i hate it lol
in general, i don't like the armor design. the wardrobe/appearances system is fine, but it's just not helping if all the armors are just... kinda bland or downight bad looking? and don't get me started on the lords of fortune armor. that is orientalism personified.
the world states should have been carried over, full stop. i know they said they didn't because they want to separate what happens in the north from what happens in the south, which... i could have lived with that. but the inquisitor sends you letters that keep you up to date on... the south of thedas. you learn that there's a blight again, that people are standing strong but it's difficult, denerim's fallen, the rulers are taking care of it, orlais is fighting and they're successful for a while, etc etc. what's good bioware. i thought we don't care about the south this time around. why are you feeding me so much boring generic information. if you're not gonna show any of it and just write letters, then carrying the world state over should not have been an issue. i have a game dev background. those few lines of code would not have broken your budget or pushed your engine's limits. fuck right off.
this gripe of mine carries over to all the cameos. as a lord of fortune you have to deal with isabela a lot. it's fun. i missed her. you get to go drinking with her and taash and bellara! also my hawke romanced her. she's not mentioned once. they had the opportunity to put a sentence or two about her in there with not a lot of effort, trust me.
when varric dies, all she has is a single line about it. for gold, for fortune, for varric. she only says it if you interact with her on your way to the final push. that's not mandatory.
morrigan is there. kieran isn't. the old god soul that mythal and then solas absorbed? who cares at this point, the gods are dead now and solas is locked away for eternity. i suppose? why is morrigan there. she feels unneeded. i wish they'd just left her down south, at least that way i wouldn't have had to witness her god awful redesign.
dorian at least feels as if he belongs in this story. the shadow dragons are a crucial part to protecting minrathous. he's also weirdly underutilised. isabela and morrigan had more lines than him in my playthrough.
on the topic of romance: bro that was underwhelming. no, genuinely. you know when romance picked up a bit? after the point of no return. i heard maybe two lines of companion banter about it before that. maybe i missed something which i honestly doubt, but romance did not play much of a role in lucanis's storyline. i saved his grandmother as he wished me to (and if you read tevinter nights you know she was rather abusive and their relationship not the healthiest) and told him to focus on his family. a reunified family my rook wasn't even introduced to as a partner at the end of all that.
really, do not buy this game if you're only in it for the romances. others might be better, lucanis's basically gave me nothing. except for an outing (the second coffee date i had with him, it was getting repetitive) all of it played out once i committed to the final quest. the sex scene was a fade to black. annoyingly right after davrin died. if you're looking for well paced and good spice, pick up something else. the sweet talk and the final goodbye were nice though.
for all the good the ever-presence of gender identity does, it is brought up in such a disruptive manner too. it doesn't even play out naturally if you CHOOSE the lines that are meant to be said. hearing the words trans and non-binary in this setting doesn't feel right, and i'm saying this as a trans guy. i think it could have been handled more gracefully. the amount of times my rook went "i'm a MAN" as if he's about to start drumming on his chest and roaring any second now got super nerve-grating. "i'm so glad you're into me... the me who is trans. remember?" just. tell me one trans person who'd talk like that to a person they've grown close with and are trying to romance. this game doesn't handle sexuality well, so all this hey my body might not look like the way you're expecting it to look talk amounts to nothing anyway. i feel about this the way i feel about krem: this is partial exposition to trans experiences... packaged up for cis consumption. the ONLY exception to that is interacting with taash. holy shit was all of that heartwarming and bro did it feel good and natural to talk to them about theirs and rook's gender.
rivain and nevarra are new locations added by veilguard. they're also incredibly underwhelming, small and constricted maps. rivain is a coastline with a few ruins. the hall of valor is a partial ruin nestled into a cave on a beach, with a fighting pit. isabela is there in her skimpy outfit commentating your pit fights. that's it. i'm sorry if you were looking for a bustling pirate cove or whatever. you're not gonna get it. the nevarran crypts btw are a long ass dungeon crawl. that's it.
speaking of maps. i thought people were being dramatic when they said you're gonna be fighting the same enemies on them again and again. i thought they were figure of speeching it. they're not. you WILL fight the same amount of enemies. in the same spot. every time you reload the map. best to stay on a map and clear out the enemies and do as much questing on that map as you can before leaving, because you WILL have to do it all over again once you return.
the three choices i made for my inquisitor didn't matter lol she didn't have to face solas and therefore couldn't stop him at any cost as she had sworn (maybe because my rook tricked solas into binding himself to the veil, there was also an option to fight him. would she have stepped in? who knows). blackwall wasn't mentioned. and either her using a small amount of her forces in the final fight was the reason the civilians of minrathous fared so well..... or it just didn't matter. ultimately i think she had very little impact on anything
#datv#datv spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard#oh wow i hit a limit typing this#anyway to tie this up a bit: the good and bad to the environmental design being that well-known architecture like minrathous and dwarven#ruins look fire and remind me a lot of the previous games#but newly added locations are very... generic... very bland#i was very excited for rivain. i thought we'd get to see ships. not a bunch of ruins and a fighting pit and that's it#and why did i say to ignore a certain guy's review? bro because he was complaining about taash being ace and that taking up their screentim#and them being too up in your face about their identity. he did all this while she/her'ing them constantly#but my man they're trans. nb. not ace.#y'all need to be careful about bad reviews. they're coming from people who are upset about gender identity being handled as a topic in this#game. meanwhile they have no clue what they're even talking about. i don't think matty knows the difference between ace and trans#and neither do the hundreds of people who are one star rating this game currently#i liked this game. it's not top tier. it's not something i'll sink hours and hours and hours of my life into#it has tonal issues and it's moving away from what made dragon age stand out for me#but i do think that it's a genuinely fun play and people who are very invested in dragon age will squeeze joy out of it wherever they can#i had a hard time warming up to the new characters (taash and lucanis being the exception because they have an older bioware air about them#but solas's and varric's story (and don't get me wrong that's what veilguard is about) is GOOD. that is how bioware used to be.#and i wish they'd given us that energy all over the game. that direness. that grit. serious and mature writing.#that consistency is lacking#and whether you're gonna enjoy this game or not is entirely dependant on what you came here for and how well the game delivers on it#i think their weakest points are ironically the thing they advertised the most: the new companions and their writing#you won't find nuanced and good enemies here (i already reblogged something about this. you can go scroll around a bit and catch up on that#really the only thing that had me super invested and emotional was the main quest.#so make of that what you will. ultimately i was more frustrated with the game than i got enjoyment out of it. i was close to just put it#aside for now... until i went to minrathous to end ghila'nain's and elgar'nan's ritual. that all blew me away. still on a high off of it.#anyway yeah that review got cut short by the character limit maybe i'll add more to it tomorrow but rn... i am heading to bed#thanks for coming to my ted talk. also i'm sorry. zevran REALLY isn't in this.#dragon age
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The Colgate Comedy Hour- September 17, 1950
Part 1 / 2 / 3 / 4
#dean martin#jerry lewis#martin and lewis#colgate comedy hour#These gifs were a bit more frustrating to make because I couldn't figure out how to split up the gifs#To avoid splitting up moments‚ gifs ended up being either too long or to short‚ so I decided to just standardize them all to about 5 second#Sorry if it looks weird because of that#I'll be posting the gifs of the rest of this scene throughout the next few days#my gifs
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How I intended to play Rook: *serious, stoic, ruthless, ready to stop Solas at any cost*
How I've actually been playing Rook: *PANICKED SCREAMING*
#I DON'T WANT TO BE IN CHARGE AND EVERYTHING'S BAD#BUT I'M HERE SO I'LL DO IT BUT AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#I've spent nearly 20 hours in this game running around wondering why I can't interact with anything only to learn that I...#needed to advanced the story beyond D'meta crossing#you need the dagger for like#anything#“I'll just get all my companions before exploring then!” I said#*screaming in Treviso*#💀#I mean I didn't know who I was going to romance this first run but I knew it was not going to be Lucanis#so I guess now it will REALLY not be Lucanis#sorry buddy maybe later with a crow Rook#I was planning on Harding but so far every time I've made a decision she's disapproved so that may also not be an option 🤡#I have a feeling it will likely end up being Darvin or Emmerich given my track record#but I haven't gotten Emmerich yet#I went back before Darvin to do side quest but I'm committing to my choice this run#dav#dragon age#dragon age veilguard#dav rook#veilguard
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for @greatstormcat who asked for a simon or price version of this post (linked post is 18+ only - like this post!). so storm, i offer you whatever the hell this fluffy thing is. sorry that there's no smut but i seem to have been caught in yearning hours. i'll type up a smutty something for you soon!
TW: male submission, references to traffic light system style safewords, pet name "love" used to refer to reader, verbal praise. please assume all scene negotiation has been completed off-screen.
Pairing: john price x gender neutral reader
-- it's rare for john to ask for this. to ask to be put on his knees, hands clasped at the small of his back - a butchered facsimile of parade rest that you know that he knows down to his bones - with his beautiful blue eyes downcast in a breathtaking show of respect. so you treasure every moment he offers himself to you in this way, stripped naked before your adoring gaze.
"colour, sweetheart?" you prompt him gently, almost hesitant to disturb the hushed peace that's settled over his shoulders.
"green, love. always green with you." john replies equally gently, the tension fading from his brow as he settles more comfortably on the large cushion under his knees.
you smile to yourself, reassured that his left knee is co-operating today, and make a small mental note to move him into a different position before too long.
"good, thank you for telling me john." you run your fingers through his sandy brown hair, pleased with the way the soft lighting catches on the few greying hairs at his temples and with the way his eyelashes flutter closed at your praise.
john price is a handsome man at the best of times, but you can't help the way your breath catches as you take in the way tension seems to melt off his broad shoulders the longer he kneels at your feet.
"my beautiful man" you murmur, stroking a thumb over his bristly cheek - absolutely delighting in the fact that every time you praise him his blush spreads down his neck to his hairy chest.
john sighs in contentment and blinks his eyes open so he can share a small smile with you.
you tap his cheek gently with your thumb to catch his attention. "come on sweetheart, let's get you up and onto the bed where you'll be more comfortable"
john hums in agreement before pushing himself to his feet and you slip your hand into his to lead him gently towards the bed.
#here be kink#john price x reader#jp#sorry this ended up being more feelings-y than smutty#i'll do a properly smutty follow up for you shortly#turns out i am deep in my yearning hours#i cut myself off there because otherwise i'd write endless fluff instead of catching at least a few hours of sleep
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does anyone ever actually get fucking actively romanced. does anyone ever get pursued. is anyone ever actually confident they're actually wanted in romantic relationships. is there any hope for me at all or should I just resign myself to constantly feeling unloved in every relationship I have or give up on romance all together and be alone my entire life lol
#hey so it turns out 8 years of not getting committed to for vague reasons that ultimately boil down to 'there's something wrong about you'#really fucks you up! who'd have thought lol#and now I'm even worse off than before because I waited in vain hope for so goddamn long and now I'm Old and Undesirable#I'm 32 years old and I have no money no prospects I'm already a burden to my parents etc#and on top of that#I feel so guilty bc I KNOW my parents want to be grandparents and have resigned to not being ones and it makes me want to WEEP#god knows my sisters won't be doing it so it's all on me#i'm not even opposed to being a parent!#but mom dad I'm missing some crucial ingredients over here unless you guys get really cool with wedlock all of a sudden#and I'm TRYING I'm going on all these stupid awkward dates but it all feels so POINTLESS because#god knows I'll just end up in the same bullshit situation I just left because I love and love and no one ever loves me BACK#because the problem is ME. I'm not a person people want to keep. There's something WRONG with me.#anyway#don't mind me it's sad sack hours and my therapist is unavailable atm so you guys are my diary rn <3#shut up keri
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i also like these filth that i doodled today :D
+ Behold a frog
#ultrakill#filth#filth ultrakill#my art#i hope this doesnt look like garbage i am uploading from the app#i'd log into browser on my phone but it wont let me log in for some reason....#i'll just fix it when i get on PC in a few hours if it ends up being low quality 💪
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god i love sundays
#i open my eyes i make coffee i call mom we talk for at least one hour#it's kind of a ritual at this point#and funny how things are much better when we have a long conversation once a week#i used to be mad at her for reaching out when i was working or busy or sad or anything in general#now we don't talk much during the week because she knows i'm busy and she respects that#but she knows i'll always call on sunday morning and we will talk about everything that happened during the week#and it's always great and we don't even fight anymore#i used to say my mom is messed up so it's better not to talk to her but hey#one thing i realized is that i am messed up too so why do i always blame her for everything#she's just a human being#we should be more gentle to each other#and i guess we finally found a way to communicate#idk#we also say “i love you” at the end of every conversation now and god i really need it#and i guess she needs it too#anyway#it's better now#she's doing better and i am doing better#which is great#i say whatever and whatever that i want*
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mixed feelings because on one hand damn the mad lads did it on the other hand this is barely gonna do shit in the grand scheme of things with how slowly resin regenerates
#like if you log into genshin twice a day which i do your resin will never cap bc it already doesn't. so like you won't even notice?#and its only marginally better if you log in once a day. i think it'll take ~26.6 hours for 200 resin to regenerate#if you log in less than that then 40 basically gives you an extra run or two which is always better than none so its a small win regardless#high key i'll actually be annoyed though if they're only doing this to prepare for raising the character lvl to 100#and this is the ONLY thing they do for it. if the lvl 100 leak ends up not being true though then okay fine yay whatever#but in general what i rather have is them either increase drops/resin regeneration rate or lower how much certain things cost#if there's one thing that pisses me off about the resin system it's that world bosses cost 40 resin for max 3 drops#like i honestly don't give a fuck about anything else LOL#oh also talent books i hate farming those#0.txt
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damn I yap a lot
tldr; im alive, sadly im still on hiatus, other stuff is fine now I just have new [physical] problems, you'll know when I'm fully back (give it another couple months) and comfortable, I'm in a [technically well-over] 3-month long ongoing depressive episode [not tryna do trauma olympics or make anyone feel bad btw it's all chill]
so sorry if I've left you hanging [with art or smth], I'll get to it in time, I promise [I may have unwillingly forgotten, likely not but there's a chance]
Hey, I'm alive, I have been for the.. almost 6 months I've been gone. Holy shit, I didn't even realise that it's been that long. I figured I should at least say something in case anyone is worried or wondering even though everything isn't solved yet, so, here. [under the read more so it's not flooding or anything]
Also, I figure I should apologise for venting on main and just leaving it up - this is all going to stay up because I need to keep it somewhere to aid with my memory issues - but, still, must've been a little weird
Absolutely not a good time to say all this [for me bc I haven't thought this message through] but I'm kinda half-back, just on hiatus from socials due to declining physical health. Really badly declining, I need help honestly
Originally, as you know, I was gone because I had a really bad fall out with my mother, but things pertaining to that have been solved now [except me not feeling 100% safe and trusting to my mother, that will never change. She's tried hard, I just wish I could find her reliable emotionally as well]. It's just that, since then, basically, all these physical problems that I don't understand have been royally fucking me up and messing with my mental too. It's messed with everything I love. I don't know what to do anymore.
Oh wait, where I was actually going with this, so
OK nvm I forgot but you'll see me around bc I've been talking to certain people trying to pretend like nothing's happened and I've made the kinda-silly decision to not fully come off hiatus or talk to other certain people before I'm okay again.
#so the post is for the practical stuff n the tags r for emotional btw [or at least I tried to do that]#[yeah just except the para starting with “originally” I'll keep that there despite being unnecessary]#-#genuinely. im so scared. im so scared all the time [most of the time not scared of anything in particular - I mean the physical problems#fuck me up by making me scared and sad and tired most of the time for no reason]#I have no energy and it's all up and down and even though I actually feel okay rn [not good but okay] after literally breaking down an hour#ago I still know this shouldn't be happening#nobody is going to believe me if I say I have high-functioning depression. who do I tell. well they will believe me but how would it help#and I'm so scared to tell anyone for no reason. I'm not scared mentally rn but no matter whether or not Im ok the emotion stops me from#taking action if that makes sense.#--#I don't understand what I did to deserve this why is this happening to me#why are these internal problems out of my control happening to me#I don't understand and it truly deeply scares me#---#I meant to out this at the start of the tags but fuck it I'm too far in and on mobile to go all the way back now#thank you if you read this far. truly thank you because I need someone to talk to and my irl's are not an option for all different reasons#if I reach out to you about smth random please talk to me as if I'm still not half-gone.#feel free to message me whenever about wtv despite the “hiatus” I need it#... if you have read this far for whatever reason please text me that my Rui loves me my brain is trying to guilt me and say he doesn't#[that just happens when I'm in a certain state even tho that's when I need Rui the most selfship mutuals u get it pls help me out]#he. he does love me right? I swear he does I just. can't seem to believe it right now#I shouldn't have pushed all that to the bottom when it was directly telling my mutuals what I need lol#I feel a little hopeless sometimes. that's not like me I'll be alright in the end. no not that. I'll be better than alright I can fix this#I can fix this. I just need help. god I need help.#at the very least I'll be alright
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oof artblock be upon us
#i only have time to draw like. one day a week#when there's a comic you try to update monthly it goes by pretty quick#but right now i can't see where it's going + it's getting hard to spend 8-10 hours on a page that will get 2-3 comments#and then there's wanting to draw every character in an unrelated video game and then some#and then. i sit down like. this is my weekly drawing window. i haven't drawn in a week i'm gonna draw so much / wrong !! it's all shit#in fact the very concept of a drawing window sucks because it ended up being an obligation/pressure#and then i'll just boot up medibang and sit paralyzed in front of my 40 wips ! lol !!#weugh#cool story pyro
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was 100% not prepared to be called out by name at the end of tonight's secret sleepover society stream of ghost trick re: my prediction that it's gonna take them two more streams to finish. now i really hope i'll end up being right, lol
#secret sleepover society#it could end up being three streams considering they only got a chapter and a half done in this one#or they might just bite the bullet and go long on the second stream depending how far in they are by the two hour mark#we'll see.#it's been very fun watching them play with their and chat's reactions (and doing some jowd defense in chat lol)#and it's funny to be called a 'ghost trick expert' by them when i literally only played the game three weeks ago and because of them#i'll take it though#almost inclined to add that to the description of the ghost trick sideblog i made today :)
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of course i had to do the hair meme with him too
#low stakes 🦇#my art#if you've been following me since the time i regularly drew einarr with that choppy short (terrible) hair... hi i'm so glad you stuck aroun#he has been through a lot and his concept phase was rouuugh#and i love his current iteration so much#he's so pretty. most gorgeous man#i love drawing him he has such a fun face!! such versatile hair!! it's usually in braids :3#okay i'll shut up but yes please click for the full image because tumblr compression seems to blur it quite a bit#this took me many hours#mostly cleaning up the sketches#worth it#the coloring style ended up being halftones#his palette can be simplified by quite a lot so it just felt fitting#if you rebloged earlier versions of this post.... congrats and i appreciate u
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