#i'll do his connection to lis on another post probably on my other blog

[varietales]

Introducing...

A fine specimeeeeehhn.

Ichiya Vandalay-Kotobuki!

Carrd (About, hcs, verses, threads, bonds etc) | Trivia

Quick Disclaimer: I’m not exactly intending on writing him, (although there may be some Shenanigans), but he is a prominent member of Blue Pegasus – therefore is relevant to my Jenny and Lisanna. And I want him to be a good character, and more importantly, a good man. Honestly? The potential is there, and he has even had more moments to sparkle Shine than most side characters in the manga (including Lisanna). So, I’m going to retcon a few things and establish some headcanons to develop his character further.

Canon Divergences:

He does not get in people’s personal spaces and sniff them.

He has not made any advances or comments towards Erza, there is no ‘my honey’ here, he has never implied or allowed implication of anything between them.

He is not lecherous or perverted (these terms have been used in canon and in spin offs but I don’t recall him actually displaying these traits aside from maybe the stuff with Erza and sniffing people, which I’m removing anyway)

History:

His mother was a mage and a hard-working woman running an apothecary business in a small village. She did her best to raise him on her own after her husband left her, it was a difficult but rewarding life. Young Ichiya helped out around the store and learnt a great deal about the medicines she crafted.

When Ichiya was around 8 years old, a nobleman (of the Vandalay-Kotobuki family) who had been travelling the area needed urgent medical assistance and stopped at the apothecary. Ichiya’s mother helped the man and the two fell quickly in love and eventually married.

Ichiya and his mother moved into Lord Vandalay-Kotobuki’s estate, adapting to the different lifestyle and enjoying a happy life together. Ichiya was adored by his adoptive father.

Due to his parents being overprotective of him (and also wanting to fuel the idea that Ichiya was a secret, legitimate heir that had been protected on the estate the whole time), he did not leave the Vandalay-Kotobuki estate until around his 18th birthday, when he insisted on doing some travelling to experience the world.

The outside world was too overwhelming for him, and he returned home after just a month, but he was inspired by what he’d seen and decided to dedicate himself to learning more about his mother’s old craft. He also began to host parties at the estate, as it seemed easier to bring the world to him than to go out himself.

After a couple of years, he did begin to venture out himself some more, for several months at a time. But he still loved having parties.

At one of his parties, he met some mages from Blue Pegasus and Master Bob himself. Ichiya was immediately taken by the noble idea of being a guild mage and becoming someone who could help others even more (he was already donating generously to charities at that point but wanted to be more actively involved in helping others).

He joined Blue Pegasus in X780 (when he was 25, believe it or not), after studying magic and honing his own unique gifts.

Portrayal Notes:

He is incredibly generous and kindhearted, always willing to help others. He spent his early years watching his mother working hard to provide for them both and to help others. She has always inspired him to take care of others and do whatever he can for them. Joining a wealthy family showed him the power of money and what it can do for people as well, and he did not develop an attachment to wealth himself – he gives very generously to charities. He is always one of the first to offer assistance if someone seems in need of help in any way.

Spending the majority of his life within a noble family, he was taught the values of good etiquette and respectability. He is a total gentleman and holds himself to a high standard of decorum. Having a unique mix of noble and ‘commoner’ influences from his parents, he does his best to treat all people with equal respect.

In line with his gentlemanly behaviour, he does tend to view it as his duty to protect other people – particularly women and children, in whatever way he can. (reminder of a point earlier – we are removing instances of him being weird with Erza and sniffing people, my Ichiya is not a creep)

People outside of Blue Pegasus might still view him as eccentric character and a weirdo (or yes, a creep, because people are mean), however, within his guild, he is highly respected and beloved (this is a canon fact. I mean I know its for a sort of comedy factor but still). He is popular within the guild as he is very caring and genuine, always helpful, and is actually a very skilled and knowledgeable mage.

To some people, he might seem like he is the type that loves the sound of his own voice and would talk for hours (and sometimes this is true), however he is a very good listener and is always willing to lend an ear to anyone who needs it. He also gives very good advice and usually only offers his advice/opinions when asked for it.

Trivia:

He has a lot of thoughts buzzing around in his mind, and quite often he will have entire scenarios and conversations in his head and then start talking about it out loud or ask about something, and anyone around would likely be completely confused about what he’s talking about (an example being where he asked the band at the ball to play “That song” forgetting he hadn’t actually said his prior thoughts explaining what ‘that’ song was). There are few within the guild that are able to follow his half-internal conversations, and most are quite used to the seemingly random jumps in topics and simply go along with it.

Mentioned above, he is a very good listener, however…truth be told, sometimes he is only a good listener because he’s not actually listening, he’s daydreaming or thinking about something totally random that was sparked in his head while listening.

Pisces sun, Gemini moon, Leo rising

He loves music, theatre, and dance.

While a great deal of Blue Pegasus mages tend to have a certain type of ‘persona’ of sorts, he doesn’t really, he’s just himself 100% of the time. There have only been a few times where he has felt the need to conceal his true thoughts/feelings and present himself differently – and in these cases it was usually a matter of him not letting his sadness or worry show, as to not give his guildmates cause for concern.

He’s really quite gullible for the most part, he is open minded and likes to believe the best in people, so falls for things quite easily.

He has a highly successful perfume business – he’s not business minded at all so the actual running of it is left to a recently appointed trusted friend (as above, he is gullible and trusting, and so had to learn a hard lesson after a rather serious incident with his previous business manager’s dodgy dealings). Ichiya designs and crafts the perfumes and leaves everything else to his loyal employees to handle. Most of the profits are donated to charities.

He is typically quite emotional and easily moved, and he is a very empathetic and loyal sort (canonically, for the 7 years the Tenrou group was gone, he never gave up the search for them and would often cry endlessly at the thought that they would never return, as he was so saddened by their disappearance)

He struggles with back pain and other body aches frequently, and this is due to the toll using his Power Perfumes takes on him – the intense change in body type and stature is not an easy thing to deal with and it takes a while for him to recover.

As someone with great knowledge of natural remedies and such, he crafts his own skin care products and actually has incredibly soft and smooth skin. In the same way, he takes very good care of his hair and makes his own products for that as well. His hair is very thick and soft, and it grows (unusually) fast and has a healthy shine to it.

Magic, skills, abilities:

Most of his abilities (as well as his general appearance) are a result of magic and other influences he was unintentionally exposed to during his younger years when helping out his mother at her shop.

Heightened Sense of Smell: Of course, this is a notable ability for him. His sense of smell is so well honed that he can easily distinguish individual elements within a particular smell and recognise people as well. He can determine a mage’s strength and base affinity/type of magic based on smell alone. In terms of tracking via scent, he could be on par with the dragon slayers.

Emotions, particularly strong ones, in others can also register as scents to him, allowing him to be aware and attuned to the emotions of those around him. Along with his empathetic nature, this gives him great emotional intuition and good skill in reading other people (for the most part).

Related to the above, he has the ability to limit his sense of smell or ‘turn it off’ if he needs to, otherwise he would be constantly overloaded by everything around him.

Perfume Magic: he is noted as having ‘perfume magic’ which is described as a Holder type magic that relies on the user having a variety of perfume vials on their person. Ichiya does carry a myriad of vials with him at all times, however there is more to the magic than most people know. (and I will eventually do a post getting into the specifics, as soon as I work it all out)

Although his magic is most used for support or for ranged/distance attacks and spells, he has had training in hand-to-hand and more direct fighting styles. Without aid from his perfumes however, his physical capabilities are quite lacking. That being said, his knowledge of the human body and pressure points has come in handy a few times in battles.

Somehow, while he doesn’t have great endurance for fighting, he does have it for dancing. He knows various styles of dance and is surprisingly skilled, enough so that he beat a mage that specialises in Dance magic during the Grand Magic Games one year.

Ichiya and Jenny:

(This is of course based on my own Jenny muse and can be adjusted for other interpretations of her character.)

Ichiya joined Blue Pegasus the year before Jenny did. Always welcoming of new members, he was friendly to her and offered to help her if she needed anything. At the time, Jenny was dismissive of him, as her focus was on her idol, Karen. After Karen was killed and Master Bob talked some sense into Jenny, there was a shift for Jenny herself. She took more notice of her guildmates and began to make an effort with them, including Ichiya.

She apologised to him for the way she had treated him, and he waved it away, assuring her it was fine. She had thought him a strange man, yet after spending some time getting to know him, she found herself becoming fond of him.

They have been guildmates for over ten years now and their friendship and fondness for each other has grown over those years. Jenny knows he is someone who will always listen to her, regardless of topic, and that he will give good advice if she asks for it. She goes to him for recommendations on anything hair, skin, or health related and she trusts his judgement. He knows she is much smarter and more skilled than she lets on, and while he believes she should embrace that part of herself openly, he respects her decision to keep her cards close to her chest (as it’s a benefit for the guild as well, Blue Pegasus does well from not revealing too much and being selective about what is known).

Having known him for such a long time, she is particularly protective of him and will throw hands defend him if anyone was to give her cause.

[chrysalis-the-butterfly]

I've seen the most imbecilic take about Angel on Tiktok, people were again using the "he harrassed Husk" argument that is not even worth adressing right now because it was solved in canon and discussed enough in the fandom, but omg, people were literally saying "oh I believe Charlie's dream is possible but... ANGEL ISNT A GOOD CONDIDATE AND I'M GLAD HE WASNT REDEEMED. Husk and Pentious are great tho" ????????

And their whole argumentation was based in (tw for f slur): "Angel is an annoying f*ggot, and I heard somewhere that Italian mafias did cannibalism, so I guess Angel was a cannibal for some reason" lmao so fucking stupid. So Sir Pentious, that tried to destroy the Hotel twice, caused a tuff war in the Pilot, betrayed the Hotel to work for the Vees (and slutshamed Angel when confronted about it), is just a misunderstood boy who did nothing wrong... Husk, who was an Overlord that owned people and gambled for their souls is another misunderstood boy who did nothing wrong and was victimized by the evil twink... but Angel, a victim of abuse that was struggling with hypersexuality AND chose to do sex work to ran away from his family, is a bad guy? Fuck off. Those people on Tiktok were clearly homophobes and shamed Angel for being abused and for doing sex work.

Btw about the redemption part: Husk and Angel werent redeemed yet for a reason, probably because their souls are still under contract. But like. I'm really sure both of them would hate to live in the Heaven that was represented in the show LMAO

Thanks for sharing!

This is me trying to make sense of the TikTok you referred to:

"ANGEL ISNT A GOOD CONDIDATE AND I'M GLAD HE WASNT REDEEMED."

I think the best way to counter that point is with this anon who posted to the Angel Dust RP blog @angie-long-legs:

What, just because you've fucked up you can't ever get it together? Snap out of it. By that logic people that "are worthy" of redemption are the ones that don't even need it. You need to be flawed in order to fix your flaws, it's kinda the whole point. Making mistakes is what puts you in a situation where you are in need of redemption so how could it be the same thing that makes you unworthy of it? This logic just drives you into a wall.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

"Angel is an annoying f*ggot."

Firstly, I really hope they didn't actually use that slur, because that would make everything so much worse.

Secondly, whether or not someone is annoying isn't always a moral issue. Some people do set out to deliberately irritate their peers, and that's not great, but other people are deemed "annoying" for stuff they can't change or aren't doing on purpose, in which case the annoyance is more in the eye of the beholder.

"Being annoying" shouldn't be a metric that disqualifies you from getting into Heaven.

"I heard somewhere that Italian mafias did cannibalism, so I guess Angel was a cannibal for some reason."

So they didn't bring up anything from the show itself to support their argument that Angel is a bad candidate for redemption? They instead tried to appeal to real-world history, but without even doing any thorough research? I can understand where your annoyance is coming from.

My (admittedly brief) Internet search has not found evidence of mafia cannibalism in New York at the time Angel would have been alive. The closest I could find was a New York Times reporter called William Seabrook who claimed to have eaten human meat sometime before 1931. No mafia connections as far as I can see.

Also, even if Angel really was a cannibal, shouldn't that mean Alastor and Rosie need to receive equal amounts of condemnation? Why single out Angel?

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I do not understand all this Angel-bashing.

When there are so many other characters in the Hellaverse you're clearly supposed to hate, such as Valentino (the pimp who drugs and rapes his employees) and Mammon (the exploitative boss who was willing to make sex dolls out of a child's likeness), it seems just a smidgen nonsensical to target Angel.

Yes, Angel did harass Husk, as you mention. But a) Angel never went so far as to assault Husk, whereas someone like Valentino would have done so, and b) Angel actually stopped doing the bad behaviour eventually, which is more than can be said for some characters.

I did wonder if the reason why Hazbin-critical people focus on Angel is because they see him as a stereotype of gay men and they want to see (what they believe is) better gay representation. But the fact that this TikToker used a homophobic slur blasts a hole in that theory. So I'm still confused.

Eh, whatever. I like Angel, and I know why I like Angel, and that's what really matters!

As for why Angel and Husk haven't been redeemed yet - I think their souls still being owned is part of it. And there's also the fact that their situations (addiction and self-destructive behaviours and deep-seated self-loathing) are more complex than Sir Pentious' problems.

And yeah, Heaven is probably a bit too relentlessly happy for Husk. He'd be like LEGO Batman in a world full of Unikittys. LOL! And Angel would probably not enjoy being slut-shamed by the likes of Lute. But maybe he'd be able to bear it as long as he could be with Molly...

[bookofmirth]

I recently read a comment where an El/riel said that Az could never end up with Gwyn just because she is an “irrelevant nobody”, while he in one of “the main and most important characters”. And they go on saying things like “she is unworthy of him”, “he deserves someone insanely great” and bla bla bla…

Beside the fact that the whole post sounded pretty, uhm… aggressive and anti-feminist I guess? It made me realise that maybe some people ship Elucien or El/riel because being Elain’s partner means… more “screen time”?

We know that the ACOTAR series follows the journey of the Archeron sisters, and the only one left is Elain, whose journey basically still have to begin and find a properly conclusion. So, it’s logically implied that, as Nesta’s book became a Nessian book, Elain’s one will also become her LI’s ones (but SJM looooves feminism, at least as Rhysand does ;) ).

Sincerely, I’m pretty sure that, deep down in our unconscious, this is the reason why we all stan a ship or another, and I know it’s kinda a cynical though and not so feminist, since it implies Elain being a sort of “prize” for more screen time and more fangirl internal screams (yeah, because we all are fangirl who just want more hot-fae material at the end ahahah).

The point is, if only we were a little more conscious of it, we could understand each other better and, in an idillic word, maybe stop writing insults each other for supporting a ship we don’t like. We are all on the same boat, thirsty for our best men in fictional books, so there’s no point on being mean or writing a poem about how a character sucks for this or that reason, especially if it could only hurt someone else who feels a strong connection with that character…

Sorry for this looong rant ahaha, but I really like your blog. In your post you’re always polite so I though you where the right one to share my cynical vision of the ship war with. 😊

Hello! Just to be clear, the main reason I am posting this is because you were talking about the fandom in general, rather than being a butt about anyone in particular (other than whoever posted about Gwyn being a nobody, RIP because sjm is going to do what she wants with whatever character she wants. Chaol was just an annoying ass royal guard at first, too.)

I do agree with you about screen time. And that yeah, when we get Elain's book, it will not just be hers but also her love interest's book. I kept insisting on calling acosf the Nesta book before it came out, but... idk, I could go either way. We definitely didn't learn as much about Cassian as I think people had hoped to, but Nesta's issues were at the forefront and more pressing, anyway. The narration did follow Cassian at times, and we got to know some of his inner thoughts. So yeah, I assume that whenever we get Elain's book (and whoever else's we are going to get) then the narration will likely follow her love interest and we will get his (let's be real, it won't be a her) inner thoughts, and probably learn a bit more about him.

(This has made me start thinking about perspective and how people are struggling to understand the difference between first and third person and being unreliable, hang on let me grab a drink ���)

And I definitely agree that if we could just accept that we are generally here for the same reason - obsessed over acotar - then maybe we might possibly, potentially, not be at each other's throats all the time? People just gotta make this their whole personality though, like if someone on the internet, who they will never meet irl and who otherwise has absolutely no bearing on their lives, disagrees with them, then *pearl clutch* omfg call the police their whole identity has now been put into question.

Calm. Down.

The most annoying thing about all of it to me is that it's all over MEN. People shit on Elain and Gwyn for a DUDE. And maybe it's not because of the ship war but people also shit on Mor for a DUDE. How about we just don't?

I'll be out here, doing my level best to tip the scales all by my lonesome by shitting on the dudes for the sake of Elain, and Gwyn, and Mor :)

Okay but back to your point, that people are actually invested in whoever the secondary character is going to be, I can see that. I've seen plenty of people say they don't like Elain, but will read elucien/elriel. It makes me sad tbh. I always see one of sjm's strengths - or at least one of the things I enjoy the most - being that she centers women in her stories. I used to assume that that's something that other readers enjoyed as well, but I guess not. People can like what they want for whatever reasons they want, but some of these discussions make it very, very clear how they feel about women, queer people, and people of color! Even if they won't say it out loud.

[hacked-by-jake]

It's me. :D

Trigger warning: Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder (Borderline). Mention of toxic relationship. (?)

Hi, I'm hbj and I'm a Borderliner. :) (That sounds more special than it is😂)

I’m shaking a little bit and I’m a little excited to talk about it but I think it might be kind of cool and bring a little something. For whoever it is....

By the way, it probably contains a lot of mistakes. I apologize for that.

Okay, so I got this question from @sizz-rizz :

Well, I like the question, but I have to say at the beginning that the answer will probably be different than expected. And probably a little longer.

That’s why I don't want to answer this under your question, but in an extra post. This is really personal and I want to say something about myself. <3

For this question it is simply necessary to tell the truth and not simply to invent any lies. I could have said now that I had great experiences etc.

Since you asked about my expectations, it is a little hard to explain the whole thing so quickly because my views on the subject are completely different from the "normal" views.😅

And that for reasons that are not my intention. Besides, I think it might help me get rid of it.

I want to say a lot more, but I just forgot, so I’ll just start.

> This is probably all messed up and confused, but I don’t have a real structure for this. xD

I don’t know exactly how to start.

This shouldn't going to be a really big topic on my blog afterwards. 😅

.....

I have some serious difficulties with interpersonal relationships.

I’m just being honest now: I have the mental illness: Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder. More commonly known as Borderline. (If you’ve never heard of it, do me a favor and please don’t google after it because you can’t include me in the "cliché" of a borderliner.😅) Just like many others don’t fit the cliché. As soon as you read about it on the Internet you get a completely wrong impression of the disease and for me there is nothing worse than that someone believes in it in connection with me. If you have actually questions, I will also give you an answer, but looking for it on the Internet is absolutely what I advise against.

>>>>

Well, in reality, my expectations of a relationship are really, unfortunately, "toxic".

(I’m actually not the type for a relationship in real life. I’m not the type (which is also due to the borderline)

And in addition, it can be quite difficult to find someone who can deal with this condition because I’m really not an easy person.

Well, my real expectations of a relationship are very special, I’m extremely afraid of really getting involved with people. My sense of shame is huge and I’m pretty much uncomfortable with everything I do, which also makes it difficult to have a relationship.

That’s probably why I write fan fiction because there I can choose how it should work for me. And the relationship I’m writing to Jake and MC has nothing to do with my real thoughts about it.

I write the fanfictions (like everyone else) so that it is the most beautiful or a beautiful idea. In fact, most of the time it would never work out that way, which is why I’m not really into real life relationships. 🤭

>

I had a friend, even for two years (at the time I had no idea I have borderline)

In any case, at the beginning this was rather such a complete love of youth. We also got together way too fast and he already told me after the first meeting that he loves me xD

Yeah, very good start, isn’t it?

In any case, we got together anyway. The start of the relationship was terrible and that should have made me think.

However, it became a real relationship, and the beginning was really nice.

I was young and in love, and I had a terrible sense of self-confidence, which is none at all, or not really.

In any case, as this happen, we are more and more welded together. He was morbidly jealous and I was jealous, and everything went on and many things happened.

At some point, we both have everything forbidden for each other and actually had only fights. Because of jealousy and such stuff.

Well, we did it for two years, and after that we weren’t together for two years, but it was still a sick one back and forth. I don’t want to mention too many details, but yes, that’s how it was.

And in fact, after I was completely broken, I broke off contact after four years, which was just the beginning of last year.

However, this relationship was completely toxic and unhealthy. He was toxic and I was toxic as well.

(Classic 'First Big Love' Movie Drama xD)

Okay, what I want to say about your question. Yeah, I’ve had a relationship before, but it wasn’t what a relationship was supposed to be.

What I’m saying is, be careful, love can be something beautiful but at the same time really "dangerous"

You are the most important people for yourself, and you should always make sure that you are well.

I know that it's easy to say but I think it’s really important to note that.

So, you see, the fanfictions have absolutely nothing to do with my reality. (At least according to my current experience)

Sure, sometimes we write angst/ creepy things or such stuff but that’s mostly just what we can/ could really wear ourselves. I think most fanfictions are (mostly) far from reality. Of course, it depends on the characters involved in the fanfictions, I hope you can understand what I’m trying to say.

My stories are mostly far from reality but still so that it could still be real. However, the goal is really to dive into another world and imagine what could happen.

I just struggle to find the right words because I am a little confused myself.

Of course, most of what is written is relatively unlikely but the idea it might be real, makes it beautiful. <3

--

I think I’ve actually said pretty much everything I can say about it (I probably forgot a lot but I’m a little nervous)

Well, I hope you liked the answer and I was able to answer it.

For everyone else: Yes, that’s a small impression of me. I think I should not be so shy about it and I myself make it a bigger topic than it actually is.

Okay, I'll finish this.

Much love to you all and feel hugged!❤️🥰🎭🌹

[de-cryptid]

Behind the curtain.

I’ll cut to the chase and simply state outright who I believe, and am almost certain, is behind the social media presence of Simon Alkenmayer.

Kristina Meister.

Kristina deleted her blog yesterday as of posting so I can’t link directly to it for the posts I am going to discuss and showcase here. I will be providing links that preserve their existence, however, so you don’t have to take me at my word alone.

For context: In Simon's world (which is how I will refer to the unreality that is his existence and supposed life), Kristina was his editor for The Creature's Cookbook and also the foot-in-the-door that is the publishing industry. She pitched the autobiography on his behalf, bringing it to Tapas media.

They maintained a friendship, both outside of the internet and here on tumblr. However, one day a fire was set in Kristina's driveway, leading her to what can reasonably be described as hysteria.

Here is an archived link to her reaction.

TL;dr is that she believes @simonalkenmayerisdead to be the only person in the world who could have possibly made a connection between her and Simon (despite the fact they actively engaged with each other on multiple social medias, that and there are far more people on tumblr that know of Simon than his critics) and threatened a multitude of legal action.

Here, The Fool explains the issue with the accusations levied against him and his followers.

Reading the exchanges between Simon, The Fool, and Kristina is what made it clear to me that Simon is Kristina. A lot of those posts are long gone due to Kristina's blog deletion, and are otherwise far too tedious to hunt down on Simon's blog, but they are quite similar to that which is linked above.

You can probably tell there's a level of irrationality (an understatement honestly) in Kristina's posts regarding the fire and her general demeanour.

As she and Simon have each other's personal contact information, which she herself showed a screenshot of, I think it's strange for Simon to respond publicly in the way he did. She's clearly not in a good mental state to be online, discussing a traumatic event, throwing accusations, cussing at and threatening her dissenters.

He's a long-lived observer of humans, in his world, and instead of recognizing this to be the behaviour of someone who isn't in the right frame of mind to be speaking about their circumstances to a substantial audience of presumably a few ill-intentioned people, he endorses everything she says and encourages her to continue on her rants.

Is it not obvious that this isn't accomplishing anything but potentially harming her more? She's shown the suspect that their tactic succeeded. She revealed her vulnerabilities in regards to her child and marriage. Simon, as a friend and the supposed cause for all this, should know better than to further feed into the anonymous attacks on his associate and instead handle it on a personal level.

But that isn't what happened.

The only way for someone to respond in the manner Simon did is for them to be as equally emotionally involved and irrational as Kristina herself is, which is clear from the notes where Simon's loyal audience reacts in a similarly distressed and irrational voice.

That's human behaviour, not that of a people-eating centuries-old non-mammalian monster who has watched famine ravage civilizations, killed countless individuals, and adapted despite it all.

But moving on, as I'm sure that in and of itself isn't enough for some people.

Let's turn our attention to The Creatures Cookbook itself. It's framed as a diary, meaning it was written in real-time and built upon over years, not as an autobiography. This is suspect for reasons I'll discuss further on.

I'd like to begin with the book's publishing history. It was first in print thanks to Fuse Literary, as can be seen in this post from their website, then moved onto the Tapas app (where it remains to this day).

Simon himself says that his book is "out of print", which is why it's not available as a physical copy outside of second-hand nowadays. This is not exactly true; fuse literary dropped the book. He isn't being represented by them anymore. Tapas, which is more of a pulp app where anyone can publish most anything, is not just the new medium he selected dutifully to act out the experiment more effectively; it was a last resort for a book people simply weren't interested in.

The Fool explains this quite well here.

I'd also like to reiterate something touched upon in that linked post; Simon lied about meeting his publisher, either in 2014 in that incredibly descriptive post about his agent and their experience with Tapas, or to that anonymous asker. Why is this? If the original post was incorrect, or no longer what Simon wanted readers to believe, wouldn't it make more sense to delete it? That or he, likely, forgot what was originally said about his publisher and simply made up a response for the asker. His memory spans centuries, and clearly that experience was a vivid one, given his description, but he couldn't keep consistent on his public social media. I find this suspect for many reasons.

Going back to Fuse Literary, we have articles that directly state Kristina is "writing as" Simon, which he has stated in the past was out of necessity to preserve his identity (which is somewhat contradictory, seeing as he claims that the government is aware of his species and him specifically, and also his aim is to convince people he does in fact exist).

Needless to say, a lot of little things just don't add up. Instead, they point to Kristina using Simon's character and presence as an outlet of sorts. He is an identity she assumes.

Here is another clue I stumbled upon, regarding Kristina's other writing endeavours.

Let's talk Cinderella Boy.

So Kristina is both a freelance editor (as Simon states she was for him) and a writer herself, with several published books. Easily her highest reviewed and most popular is called Cinderella Boy, a story about LGBTQ struggles from the perspective of a high school boy. I went through the reviews a while back and a lot were positive! But I noticed that many of those positive reviews were people who knew Kristina through Simon and already liked his character, his voice, his style.

And Cinderella Boy is very much the same.

I linked the Goodreads page above and recommend you go through reviews yourself to better understand what I mean, but below I will show one of the negative reviews that is... Very telling. (Click and swipe through, it's a long one)

And this wasn't the only person saying these sorts of things, either. Again, I recommend seeing for yourself. Here's another excerpt from a different review:

I want to focus in on the "70 year old philosophers" bit. The other review above said something similar about the overly deep and philosophical dialogue.

Sound familiar?

It appears Kristina's writing style happens to be that old-timey philosophically-bent verbose kind, highly reminiscent of Simon himself.

I found this rather funny. You'd think writing a modern YA would have a skilled writer attempting to make the character interactions more relatable and... Well, realistic.

It appears Kristina only has the one setting, however. And that happens to sound exactly the way Simon talks.

I will be going in-depth with the factual errors in Simon's historical assertions in the future, so I'll hold off on those for now, but a previous post of mine shows a clear miscalculation on the part of Simon's creator googling something and applying it to Simon's world, without realizing it was factually incorrect. You can see that here.

To conclude this very long post, I want to make it clear that I do not hate Kristina nor Simon, I am not posting this to harass either of them. I am only interested in making it clear that Simon is not an all-knowing cryptid and is not a reliable voice. Simon is a human creation and his readers should be aware of that. Seek real, professional help if you are looking for some advice. Do not think that an elaborate roleplay is an appropriate substitute.